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Here we have another overly descriptive name, like Mountain Mountain or
Substrate Development Dome. If you’re lookin’ for mud, they have it here. We
got obstacle courses, wrestling, bogging. We got all sorts of sports. If it’s
typically paid on the ground, you’ll be playing it on—see if you can guess—a
muddy ground. Did you guess right? There are some places in Mud World that
isn’t mud, and that’s because it’s SWAMPS! There are no boats, so you have to
wade, or even swim, across in order to get from one sector of mud to another
sector of mud. MUD! There is already a dome that’s dedicated exclusively to
swamp and wetlands, but this one has both. That’s okay, there’s room for all
of us. If you come here, you’re gonna get muddy. I know, big surprise. Like,
there are only a bunch scattered points of respite from all the mud called
King Hills where you can play King of the Hill. A few people can probably
stand on the top of it, but there’s only supposed to be one. If you manage to
secure it, you better not rest on your laurels, because I guarantee that
someone else is gonna come challenge you within the next three seconds. It’s
not that everyone is trying to get out of the mud, it’s just fun to push
people around, and get pushed around...back down into the mud. If you don’t
like mud, you’re not gonna have a good time. You walk through the doors, check
in, and then walk down some stairs to the area. Once you get down to the
bottom (and in the mud that I was talking about earlier), the stairs collapse,
and the nearest other stairs could be miles away for the next group of
visitors. You could try to get to one of those quickly, but why would you do
that? You’re walking through mud! And mud is great! I don’t know how else to
explain that this is a Mud World: World of Mud. I’m not just calling it that
for fun, by the way; it’s the official name, which I’m guessing you know
because you’re here, and if you’re here, then you must be interested in mud.
Which is a good thing, because we got plenty of mud here. MUD! Okay, that’s
enough—it’s enough mud! ENOUGH MUD! I’m done with the mud! It’s over! If
you’re done with mud, walk over to the nearest exit, and step into a shower.
Ah, that feels good. Nice to get all this mud off my body. The water is warm,
the jets go every which way. You can stay in the shower as long as you want,
they got loads of them; as far as the eye can see. I mean, you can’t
see the other showers, they have partitions. Well, they do have group
showers. If you wanna wash off in full view of others, that’s your business,
and theirs. It’s not 2025, where everyone is sexually unhealthy, and
self-conscious. When you’re done with the shower, they have hot tubs too.
After you’re done tubbin’, please get back in the shower, because hot tubs are
gross. I’ll take a pool of mud over a hot tub any day. HOT TUBS! And-or you
can dry off, and leave the dome. You can leave the dome for good, or come back
another time. Or hell, you can turn around right that instant, and get back
into some muddy shenanigans in the mud. One last thought before I go: MUD!
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