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One thing I failed to mention in my last post is that the infection that
messed with my mind didn’t just make me think that I was a traveler from
another world with the power to destroy cosmic portals. My entire reasoning
for doing so was flawed. My co-worker went missing, and the idea that
something supernatural was going on with that buried itself into my brain
alongside the parasite. I started imagining other disappearances in order to
justify my own obsession with it. No one else has gone missing since. Well, I
mean, of course they have; people go missing every day... Or, actually, do
they? Maybe this universe isn’t interesting enough for things like that to
happen. No, I’m slipping again. This is my world, and it’s the
only world. There are no others; I have to keep reminding myself of
that. The hospital has insisted that I stay here one more night, to make sure
that the chemicals that poisoned my mind are completely flushed from my
system. I need to make sure I don’t say things like that, so they don’t think
I’ve backslid. I’m not going to delete the sentence above, though, because I
want to be honest, and show them my integrity. I made another mistake, and
I’ll own that. I’ll own all of my mistakes, and I think that everyone should
try to live their lives like that. My boss has admitted her own, though I’m
not sure that any of it is here fault. She feels bad that I was infected at
her nursery, and she may or may not be worried that I’ll sue her for
negligence, or something like that. I don’t want to do that, though. I just
want to get healthy, and move past this. Everyone reacts differently to the
world around them, and I’m the only one who was negatively affected by the
parasite. Who knows how many people go home from there with terrible allergic
reactions, but never make the connection, because sometimes, stuff just
happens. Still, she’s done a nice thing by paying me for the week that I
missed as a result of my illness, as well as this current week, even though I
won’t be attempting to go back, and in fact, will never be able to work there
again. I am unmatched to the environment, and will need to find a job
elsewhere. I really appreciate her doing that for me, though, so I can stand a
little on my own feet until I do find something else. Obviously, I’ve put all
plans for major purchases on hold, which means until later to the bike,
the apartment, and my own computer. I’m still grateful to my landlord too, who
has stood by me throughout all of this. She’s the one who got me the medical
attention that I needed, and I’ll never be able to repay her for it. As soon
as I get out of here, though, I’m going to find a new job, and start trying.
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