Microstory 2238: Stress Will Kill

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I made a decision this morning to be a more positive person. It doesn’t make much sense that I’ve had to be such a downer lately. I beat death! That’s a good thing, even though it doesn’t change the fact that everyone else is going to die eventually. So will I, even if some other Westfaller opens a new door, because they can’t keep it open forever. Believe me, if I knew how to help you, I would. In my stories, I had trouble being able to kill characters off, because I built a world where there were so many ways around it. Even when I did come up with a way, I rather quickly undid it, and placed all the dead people in an afterlife simulation that was essentially heaven—even for the not-so-great people (because at least they still existed)—but digital. There was even a way to get out of the simulation, and return to true life. I hate death more than the average person, which I know is saying a lot, because most people don’t like it a-tall [sic]. I could tell you about all of the technology that those people used, and which others did in other universes, but I would never be able to develop them for you. It’s a lot easier to conjure a genius character than to be as smart as them. It’s nothing that you guys have not already contemplated, I’m sure, like longevity treatments, telomere restoration therapy, cybernetics, mind-uploading, etc. Anyway, I don’t wanna get hung up on this, because that’s negative, man, and I don’t wanna be negative anymore, man. Let’s all just be chill, and only move around when we need to relax. Sound good? In the end, stress will kill you faster than anything. So, what does this all mean for the future? I’m not sure yet, but I’m going to try to remain calm, and not worry about things too much. I’m sure everything will be all right, one way or another. I’ve never had that kind of attitude before, so I’m not sure if it will work, but I may as well try.

Microstory 2180: Secretary is a Dirty Word

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My neighbor and new assistant has agreed to let me tell you her name, and a little bit about her. I didn’t ask her if I could do this; she volunteered, thinking that it didn’t make much sense for me to keep referring to her by her relationship to me. I try to keep the specifics about other people out of my posts, and not reveal too many details about them, in order to protect their privacy, but I can also see how it may feel impersonal and detached. I hope that no one else is experiencing any such issues. Anyway, Jasmine Soun is 29 years old. She’s from St. Louis, Missouri. After she graduated from St. Louis University, she decided to leave all of her belongings behind, and just start driving. She stayed on the road for four hours, and the only reason she stopped is because she ran out of gas. She had made it to Kansas City by then, but wasn’t too near a gas station. She had to get out, and walk the rest of the way to buy a gas can, and fill it up before making her way back to her car. It was there that she met her future boyfriend when he offered to give her a ride. He also offered her a job at the gas station, and she didn’t have any other prospects, so she accepted it. That’s the kind of person she is, a real go-with-the-flow type. He would later convert her to vegetarianism, which was what made her have to quit her job before too long. She didn’t like selling the types of foods to which she had a moral objection. I can very understand that. Fast-forward about six years, and she’s no longer with that guy, but they keep in touch. She’s had a number of jobs since then, but just before I hired her, she was a secretary for the Vice President of Manufacturing at a computer hardware company that specialized in memory modules, so she has decent experience, which means that it’s not a cronyistic hire. Back in my home universe, secretary is a dirty word, filled with a historical context of misogyny, and an imbalance of power through a gendered dynamic. People in this world apparently never had that problem, so the word doesn’t have the same negative connotations. Sure, it’s not like it’s a coveted position, admired like astronauts, but it’s not shameful either, and it hasn’t been traditionally dominated by women either. No job really has been; I find that interesting. And on that note, we better get back to work. Say goodbye, Jasmine. She says hello.

Microstory 900: Providentials (Introduction)

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At some point many moons ago, I was sort of hurting for ideas, so I went back through my old works, trying to figure out whether I could expand on them. I wrote a couple of fables, and figured I could come up with more. I quite enjoyed writing the Perspectives series, so I decided I could revisit that concept from time to time. And I realized that I could reapply my strategy from Bellevue Profiles to a Salmonverse Profiles version, of which two have already been posted. My salmonverse canon has become so much larger than I ever thought it would, and I think the audience might benefit from a source that sums up each character’s backstory. You’ll see these all come to fruition over the next few years. I also figured I could write an expansion of my 99th microstory, 99 Problems. What a great idea, right? I’ve already told you what I hate; now I can tell you why. It just seemed so perfect since I didn’t have anything else for the 900 block. Well, then November 8, 2016 happened. One of the worst people in the history of the world was elected King Dumpster of the Divided States of Russiamerica. I was heartbroken. Not only could this administration negate everything we’ve worked so hard for over the last two billion years, but it was a testament to how many hateful people there were in the country I once thought I loved. It was extremely clear to me from the very beginning that Donald Trump was, and is, a Russian spy (we can argue semantics all you want, but if you don’t think he’s Putin’s intelligence asset, then you are not paying any goddamn attention). It seemed to take a long time for others to realize this very obvious fact, and it’s going to be even longer before all the people who either deny it today, or aren’t bothered by it, simply turn over to the sweet release of biological death. His election, however unjustified and illegal as it was, turned out to be a major wakeup call to me. This is the world we’re living in. Nazis run the U.S., the United Kingdom wants to hide away in a hole, and the future is doomed. But as time wore on with Drumpf’s first year, I started to reject these ideas. Seriously, screw that. Screw him, and screw all the negativity. I’m not going to sit back and let this happen. I’m going to fight for this planet that has been ruined by—sorry to say it—you neurotypicals. You’ve had your chance for the last couple hundred thousand years. Maybe you wanna give someone else a shot? We might surprise you, and I doubt we could do worse than the pile of crap you’ve created. Let’s start with this. I’m cancelling my 99 Problems series, and replacing it with something less negative, because that’s what we need right now. I’m going to show you that there is still good in the world, and that we can get through this. King Dumpster’s people have made one final push against the future, but they will ultimately fail. This is my contribution, as a writer...my personal list of 99 Providentials.

PS: My Dream series was longer than normal. These will probably be on the shorter side.