2022 Story Archive

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Oliver SpoutOliver Spout doesn't experience time at the same rate as normal people. It has been eleven years since he last saw the sun. He wakes when it sets, and he freezes when it rises. The others call him The Gargoyle, but he's no monster, at least he tries hard not to be. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"I was not prepared for this," Frenton says. "We are here a month early on our monthlong journey." He points to me. "You. You're gonna help me talk to the Estormel; make sure they understand that we're here to drop them off peacefully. This is not a hostile act." #HumanArrival
NanostoryI am single, but I have a few restrictions. You must be between 18 and 19 years old, make at least twice as much money as me, nearly always pay for dinner (I'll pay once a month, maybe). You need to have attractive friends, in case I get bored, and don't ever go into that room.
Story Quote"There has never been much crime here. Only three cells are occupied. True Extremist, Dvronen Vatal is in one. Regular extremist, Ovan Teleres is in another. Disgraced former admiral, Halan Yenant is in the third. Kaiora looks back at the hock watcher." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe belongs to a class of time travelers called salmon, which have no control over their temporal patterns. Oliver hoped to fix his problem when it first arose, but he has since accepted it, and tries to make the best of his restricted life. He might as well have fun. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"I'll do what I can, but I'm no diplomat." I tell him. // "Is anyone here a diplomat?" Frenton questions. // I point to Baladt and the Ambassador. "Yeah, they are." // "Oh," he says. "Well, then I'll use them for this, but you need to make yourself useful anyway." #HumanArrival
“Joke”We're still in the middle of a pandemic! Stay sick if you're at home!
Story Quote"They were relatively silent for the rest of the hour, but Angela and Olimpia had some stories, so that kept them occupied a little. A year later, the indicator light on the box turned green, prompting Ramses to open it, and check on his special battery." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutMost salmon are assigned responsibilities, but nothing has been asked of Oliver. He stays in the same time period, and leads an approximation of a normal life; not unlike people who work overnight, and sleep during the day. That's what he does as a nightclub bouncer. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"Understood," I say before the three of them leave to help our prisoners get safely down to their home planet. // "Is he asking you to use your powers to do something?" Cricket asks. // "I think he wants me to make up for the fact that I'm different and dangerous." #HumanArrival
NanostoryI've already written the last tweet I'll ever tweet. My AI assistant will post it for me posthumously, but I'll let you read it ahead of time, in case I live forever, or Twitter shuts down before I do. "I was today years old when I found out I was dead."
Story Quote"We’re not dead yet, but I just know that these are the people who are on their way out with me. If there is something on the other side of the death barrier, then the hundred of us will cross that threshold together. It is overwhelming and inspiring." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe once tried to move up towards the arctic circle to maximize his nighttime, but that did not work. He was born in the Kansas City area, and his pattern is tied to that ZIP code. Even if he rode an airplane into the night for the rest of his life, it would happen. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"We'll think of something," Claire says, taking me by the hand, and ushering me out of the mess hall. "We're on a ship. There's always something in need of being cleaned on a ship." // I hate cleaning more than most things, but if it puts me in a better light, fine. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationMe: "Since the world is ending, I've selected 23 people to survive in a bunker, but they're all women, so they can repopulate the planet." // My parole officer: "You still need men to have children." // Me: "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Well, I'll be there, I guess, so…"
Story Quote"He got shot in the gut once, trying to mediate a street fight. He survived the attack, only to die in his hospital room a few days later after a nurse screwed up his medication. It was an ongoing issue too; something that had to build up in his system." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe doesn't get any rest out of the freezing either. He's stuck in a time bubble, which causes him to experience a few seconds of time while the daylight passes. So he still has to dedicate part of his time to sleeping. He's sometimes only awake for a few hours a day. #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalIf there's one kind of room in a ship that needs to be cleaned the most, it's the lavatories. Claire and Cricket both kneel down with me to scrub the disgusting floors, but I tell them to stop. I'm the one everyone has begun to fear and hate. Only I need to be here. #HumanArrival
Dumb DittyI just took a finance test; turns out, I'm a hundred percent not rich.
Story Quote"What about my life? Well, after we drifted apart, I started getting more interested in music. I didn’t create it myself, though. I couldn’t play worth a darn, and I could clear the room in ten seconds flat if I tried to sing. I just loved the culture." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHis boss isn't fully aware of his situation, but day length is predictable throughout the year, and she's flexible with the schedule. She has never noticed the pattern, but other people have, and one of them is about to learn what makes Oliver Spout so mysterious. #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalClaire and Cricket agree to leave me to my work. I'm in my second lavatory when an Estormel woman walks in. "Oh, sorry, I can come back." // "No, you can use it," I assure her. "I'll step out for a moment." // She nods graciously, and squeezes past me to the stall. #HumanArrival
“Joke”Do you think that republicans get a lot of headlines in their news feeds that say things like 'TikTok Body Shamer Shares Perfect Response to Pro-vax Cucks Who Don't Make Blood Sacrifices to Putin Every Month and the Internet is Going Crazy'?
Story Quote"I should've thought, 'this is it. This is the day that I die. This is the way that I die. I'm never gonna see my family again. I'm never gonna have another nice steak dinner.' But all my brain could focus on was that spelling mistake. I had to fix it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutBeing a bouncer is dangerous, and he's always had to be extra careful. He's not worried about getting hurt so much as getting hurt, and having to go to the hospital, where they intend to treat or monitor his progress past curfew. He's always avoided that…until now. #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI wait quite patiently in the hallway, glad to finally be on a break. It's then that Frenton comes up. "What have you been doing all this time?" he questions. // "Cleaning the bathrooms," I explain. // "Oh. Really? Who asked you to do that?" // "I just…wanna help." #HumanArrival
NanostoryIn the original script, it was going to turn out that the kid was dead the whole time, and Bruce Willis was, in fact, the person who could see dead people. I made @MNightShyamalan change it, because that was stupid.
Story Quote"Over time, this technique became harder to sustain. As my résumé grew, I found the interviewers to be less enchanted with me. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I hold down a job? I couldn't rightly tell them the truth, or it would make things worse." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe reason that Oliver applied to this club is that they have a strict no recreational drug policy. It's part of his job to be on the lookout for it, and when he sees it, it's part of his job to remove the problem from the premises. Some people don't appreciate this. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"Ya know," Frenton begins, "it's really hard to be mad at you when you actually seem to be an okay guy, and you haven't given me any real reason to doubt you. I'm sorry for my behavior. Please stop cleaning; I have robots for that. I need you for something else." #HumanArrival
NanostoryThere is an 83% chance that I'm living in The Truman Show, except instead of protecting me, and letting me live happily, with everything I could ever need, they torture me. They bring me down, and hold me back, and make my life a living hell, and they only gave me three allies.
Story Quote"The True Extremists want to stop the vonearthans from spreading beyond the stellar neighborhood, so every one of the modules is a threat to them. They have the numbers that Yitro’s team does not. Nonlinear time may be the only weapon in their arsenal." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLike this guy tonight. Oliver will find out later that he's new in town, and wants to take over the drug industry. He doesn't know why the club is completely devoid of customers, but he thinks he can fix it. When Oliver tries to stop him, the guy reacts with a knife. #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI follow Frenton down the hallways, and onto the bridge. We are in orbit around Estorbund. It is a magnificent view. I've been through time and space quite a bit by now, but I've never seen anything like this yet. Frenton waits to explain while I stand here in awe. #HumanArrival
“Joke”Poor people go to prison for murder more often than rich people because they can't afford the plastic sheeting, or the small boat to go dump the body off the coast of Florida.
Story Quote"The authorities did come to scoop up the team. They didn’t lock them up in a cell, though. They just quarantined them in their ship until they could figure out whether they were a threat. They wrongfully figured they would have at least one day to wait." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe blade goes deep into his thigh. Oliver's coworkers jump in to disarm the assailant, but that's not the problem now. They're going to want him to go to hospital, and maybe even into surgery. He can't have surgery—he just can't. He has no clue what that looks like. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"What do you need me to do?" I ask, breaking from the viewscreens. I can't imagine that there's anything that someone as unskilled as I am can do. // "I was hoping one of your superpowers can help solve a little problem." // Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about that. #HumanArrival
“Joke”When you pay for porn, it's called fapitalism, and I'm not sure whether this joke goes over the imaginary line I drew that separates what I'm willing to say in a public forum, and what's just too crude for me to sign my name to. Too late now.
Story Quote"I was old and it was my time. There are some tears, even from those I wouldn't have thought would produce them on this occasion, or didn't think they would themselves. They keep going with the stories, though, trying to keep it light for the younglings." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe Locker Desk Attendant says she'll call 911, while two other bouncers help him onto a chair. "Really, I'm fine," he claims, but no one believes it. "Please, I can't afford the ambulance. I'll get myself to the hospital, I promise." They don't believe that either. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"What's the problem?" I ask. // "The Estormel need a show of good faith," Frenton begins to explain. // "Bringing their people back home doesn't serve that purpose?" // "They think it's some kind of trick. They've not had very good experiences with humans so far." #HumanArrival
NanostoryDavid Bowie was one of the first neo-nazis. Then you say, "Nick, he was on drugs." That doesn't matter to me. I give no latitude to people who do recreational drugs. You made the decision to take them, now accept the consequences. "Nick, he's dead." I don't care. CANCEL HIM!
Story Quote"He let me have some pots and other tools that were just taking up space in his attic after he upgraded. I had my own tent, but it wasn’t rated for winter. He donated a brand new one that his daughter asked to buy for me instead of her Christmas gifts." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOne of the VIP Attendants agrees to drive Oliver to hospital since her shift is nearly over. He wants to continue to argue, but managing to ditch one person, and her little sedan, is surely going to be a lot easier than escaping from a bunch of medical professionals. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"What is it you think I can do?" I question. // "I dunno, you tell me. What else CAN you do?" Frenton asks. // Not all of my characters' abilities are offensive, or even defensive. They have all come from mutants and witches so far, though. I probably need a spirit. #HumanArrival
Random NothingThis economy is in the e-crapper, but I can fix it. I'll turn the millionaires into multi-millionaires, the billionaires into bulti-billionaires, and national agencies into nulti-national cooperatives. I just need to get onto this cruise ship first, so can I use your pulti-pass?
Story Quote"My friends all suggested that I translate my ability to see and point out flaws into something productive, like maybe being a film critic. I chose to be a house inspector, because the pay was better, and the work was steadier. I never really enjoyed it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Thanks, but I'm feeling better. You can just drop me off right here," Oliver urges once they've driven a few miles. // She laughs. Her name is Lucy, and she's been waiting for an opportunity like this. "I'm pre-med, I can take care of you. No hospitals, I get it." #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"Are you asking me to control their minds?" I ask him. // "Do you know of someone who can do that?" // I made a conscious decision to make mind control not a thing in my stories. Many people are telepathic in some way, even invasively, but they can't push thoughts. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationThe President: "Okay, I'll allow it, just so you know who's in charge around here." // Me: "Is it me? It's me, isn't it? It's okay, you can tell me, I won't get upset. If I'm the one in charge, I just need to know." // The President: "What? No, it's me." // Me: "If you say so…"
Story Quote"A life vest. That was the one thing I forgot to pack. I felt like such an idiot, loading up all this unnecessary gear, but leaving out the one thing that could save my life. I wouldn't have needed it to keep from drowning, though. That's now [sic] how I died." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You get what?" Oliver questions. // "I think it's quite clear that you don't want to be registered in any kind of system. You don't have to tell me if you're in WITSEC, or hiding from people on your own. I just want you to know that you can trust me. I'm discreet." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI take a deep breath. "You want the Estormel to trust us, correct? That's your goal?"// "Yes," Frenton answers. // "Then don't do something to undermine that trust right out of the gate." // "I know that makes sense," he agrees. "Diplomacy just hasn't been working." #HumanArrival
NanostoryThe other day, I thought I met the shaggy dog from The Shaggy Dog, but it turned out to just be @ofctimallen, crawling around on all fours, and barking at the Mexicans. He is not doing well.
Story Quote"Rich people have problems too, and I don't mean to sound like we don't, but I always tried to be careful with my perspective. The fact is that I had an easy life, and people like me have a responsibility to use our privilege to help others as possible." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe's way off base about the reason, but she's obviously noticed how guarded he is. "That's okay. My neighbor is already a doctor. She can take care of it for me. I'm not hiding from anyone; it's an insurance thing." // "I can tell when you're lying," Lucy claims. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"They're threatening war," Frenton goes on. "I don't know who with, but it could be bad." // "I understand. Find me something to do. Look for a polluted river, or a serial killer the authorities are trying to catch. Tell me what they need, and I'll give it to them." #HumanArrival
NanostoryThese boots weren't made for walking, so that's not what they'll do. They sort of just hang there on my feet, while I walk. I am the one who walks in this relationship. The boots don't do anything. Stop trying to give my boots all the credit that I deserve.
Story Quote"They had to decide against such harsh rules, because it was more unethical to restrict who a resident of the ship could be friends with. They made it so hard to become Hock Watcher in the first place in order to lower this risk. Caldr bleeds integrity." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We don't know each other that well," Oliver contends. // "Still," Lucy says, "you have a tell. Again, you don't have to be truthful with me, but I can still seal up that knife wound for you. I want to." // He consults his watch. "M—maybe tomorrow." // "L-O-L, what?" #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"I'll look into it," Frenton says. "Thanks, I…didn't want to go down a bad road." // "Neither do I," I tell him. // Baladt steps onto the bridge. "They are asking for the Captain," he explains. "Negotiations are at a standstill…again." // "I'll be right there." #HumanArrival
NanostoryMy accountant once worked for @Nestle. Crunching numbers was his favorite. You could say that he liked to crunch a bunch. Wow, nothing? Stand-up is hard. Well, anyway, he discovered that his company was making a lot of money on the backs of child slaves, so how's that for comedy?
Story Quote"It kind of sounded like he was doing something illegal. Mateo didn’t really care, though. This wasn’t his reality, and he didn’t know anything about the culture. He couldn’t even say that Salufi, or the others on the matrioshka brain, were bad people." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I just—I can't. Please." He looks at his watch again, but less subtly this time. // She notices. "Holy crap, are you a vampire?" // "What? No." // "You're staring at the Eastern sky like you used to be lovers. I have never seen you in the sun. You…are a vampire!" #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalBefore returning to Cricket and Claire, I return to admiring the view, and not just through the viewports. This is my first time on a spaceship bridge. It's an exhilarating experience that I don't want to end. I've wanted it since I watched Stargate SG-1 in college. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationDonald Trump: "Ya know, the media (the media). They hate me—yeah, it's true, it's true. You wouldn't believe it, but it's true. They hate me, be…cause I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth." // Me: "They stuck silverware up your mother's vagina? At least it wasn't a fork!"
Story Quote"My soul's ability to rejuvinate [sic] my body was never destined to last forever, and I always knew this about myself. What I needed to do was find some way to make my legacy last. I, of all people, understood what it looked like when someone just faded away." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'm not a vampire, Lucille." // "I'm not a Lucille, vampire. My real name's Lucy." // "My bad. I live right around here, could you just—" // "I'm taking you to my apartment where I have my medical supplies unless you can give me a legitimate reason why I shouldn't." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalAs I'm standing there, a voice I barely recognize comes from the entrance, "are you allowed to be up here?" It's the Estormel woman from the bathroom. "Aren't you just the janitor?" // "It was but a temporary punishment," I explain. "Are YOU allowed to be up here?" #HumanArrival
“Joke”Mitch McConnell, seen here getting pwned, and not knowing it. You, seen here knowing that kids these days don't say pwn anymore. Me, seen here not worried about it. @ColinJost, seen here contacting his lawyer about a plagiarism suit. Me, seen here not worried about that either.
Story Quote"This won't be the first time that I died. I tried to kill myself a few years ago. My son got into an awful mess, and ended up being murdered by a cop. I was foolish to have made my attempt on the day the charity organization would come to deliver meals." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I don't have to take this," he argues. "Let me out right now." // "Nice try. Let me help you." // "No." // "Are you afraid you'll accidentally bite me?" // "Vampires aren't real. I'm NOT a vampire!" // "Then what are you?" // "I'm a gargoyle!" // She pauses. "Qué?" #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalShe shrugs, and looks up and down the walls of the bridge, barely interested. "Not really." // "I'm new here, but I feel a responsibility to protect the interests of this vessel. I would ask you to return to your people." // "What you mean by MY people?" she jokes. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationCustomer Service Representative: "Yes, sir, I can help with that. What is your account number?" // Me: "I can't seem to find my account number, but I can tell you what it's not. It's not 1, or 12, or 123, or 1234, or 12345, or 123456, or 1234567, or 12345678—is this helping?"
Story Quote"I had so much fun, engineering household objects to not be simply smaller, but more efficient. My job has proved that humans need less space to live comfortably than some may believe, as long as they have the right tools. I designed some of those tools." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver sighs. "So, I don't literally turn to stone, but I do freeze in place when the sun rises, and I can't move again until it sets. It doesn't matter where I am, or how long the day is there. It's based on day length here. I basically only exist when its night." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI don't respond well to accusations of racism, or bigotry of any kind, playful, or not. I don't say anything. "I'm sorry," she says. "I will return to my cabin. I just needed to stretch my legs." // I nod cordially, and follow her out, shutting the hatch behind us. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationDaisy: "It's freezing out here! I know I have all this fur, dad, but I'm not invincible. Can't I potty inside, just this one time? I'll do it on the treadmill. You never use it anyway."
Story Quote"It was so rough, being around people with such wrong opinions. I know people say that there's no such thing as a wrong opinion, but those people's opinions are wrong. There is a right way to think about how the world should be run, and a very bad way." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I don't even know how to respond to that," Lucy says. // "You don't have to. You just have to let me out, so I can go home." // "No, of course not. Gargoyle or vampire, I'm going to help you." // "Lucy…" // "You need a safe place, right? I can still provide that." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI meet Cricket and Claire in our shared quarters, where we hang out for the next few hours. Frenton comes and announces that he's spoken with the Estormel, and figured out a problem they have that I might be able to solve. "I don't know if you can do it," he says. #HumanArrival
NanostoryThese things are complicated. You take the path that gets you to the end, even if it's longer. It may not sound like justice, but you accept what you can control, and leave the rest to the universe. After all, they finally managed to send Capote to prison on tax evasion.
Story Quote"I made the wrong call, and people got hurt. No one died, but they very well could have. I should have taken it more seriously, even though the caller sounded unconvinced himself, and a background check made it look like he didn’t have much credibility." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I suppose you know exactly what time the sun rises this morning," Lucy guesses. // "7:37." // "That's plenty of time for me to sew up your wound. We're just lucky it's not a bullet hole, or you may be worse off." // "I feel pretty lucky." // "You are. You met me." #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"What do they need?" I ask. // "They want you to divide them," Frenton answers without elaborating. // "Divide them how?" // He hesitates. "Two warring factions of people who are both uninterested in space travel are fighting over the land that lies between them." #HumanArrival
Dumb Ditty🎤Now they tryna stop #rapmusicontrial // Sayin' it's just art, and can't go in my file // But what they don't know is I did kill those guys // If you think this is a confession, then you better surmise // That it can't be held against me, so it might as well be lies🎤
Story Quote"Dr. Holmes shakes her head. 'Actually, I do. In order to delete the right memories, I need to know what they are. I mean, I could take the entire day, but then you’d be, like, "what the hell happened to my entire day!"' She’s not usually this volatile." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver has to admit—if only to himself—that she's right. He can't yet tell for sure if she can be trusted with his secret, but she isn't freaking out, so that's a good sign. It might be nice to finally have an ally. He's always wanted some semblance of a normal life. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"You want me to physically break the landmass apart so they don't have to be close to each other?" // "I don't want anything but for this problem to be resolved peaceably. I think they ask this of us because they don't think we can do it. CAN you do it?" // "Maybe." #HumanArrival
Random NothingEvery time you eavesdrop, I have to PICK THEM ALL UP!
Story Quote"Leona had an imaginary drink of her own; an alcoholic one of some kind that she swirled in its glass. 'I went to collage.' // 'Okay, thanks,' Ramses replied to all this. 'I’m going up to read in the airlock. Not sure which door I’ll use when I’m done.'" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy helps Oliver out of the car, and up the stairs to her apartment. There's no elevator, but she's only on the second floor, so it's not too bad. It's a nice place; small but clean. "Lie down on the couch, and take off your pants. I'll wash up, and get my medkit." #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"Tavis, you can't break a landmass in half," Claire contends. "That's impossible." // I still don't know how my channeling powers work, but I know how telekinesis works. I take a deep breath, and wave my hand towards an empty table, slicing it in half with my mind. #HumanArrival
Random NothingA horror parody mashup called "Chopped Chef".
Story Quote"I never exceeded my maximum, and I managed to win a few times, breaking even twice, and making a five dollar profit once. Though, that’s not really a fair assessment—is it—since I spent a lot of cash on losing tickets, so I didn’t truly make anything." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe does as he's asked. She returns with a really extensive kit. She sanitizes her hands, and puts on gloves, and then she sanitizes her gloves. Pre-med is nowhere near doctor, but she's probably wanted to be a medical professional her whole life, so she's prepared. #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalFrenton sighs, and regards the table. "I don't suppose you can put it back together." // I lift my hand to do it, but stop. "I can, but I don't want to waste that one. It's far rarer than telekinesis." // "Very well. Does this mean you agree to help the Estormel?" #HumanArrival
NanostoryIf sharks had legs, and walked on land, and had jobs, all of their workstations would have to feature treadmills, because they die if they stop moving. Their method of executing prisoners would be to just put them in a small room. I think about this often.
Story Quote"It wasn't an easy goal to reach, growing up how I did. Everyone in my village thought that I was trying to get away from them, but actually air travel connects us more than anything, before the internet anyway. I wanted to bring the world to my people." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Are you allergic to any medication?" // "No," he answers. // "Okay, I'm gonna numb the area with a topical anaesthetic first. Then I'll stitch you up. That is…unless you have superhealing gargoyle powers." // "No powers," he says, "just lost time." // "All right." #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"I'll help if I can," I say. "I'll want to practice first, though. It's obviously dangerous to just go ripping continents apart. Perhaps we can find an asteroid that the locals don't need to keep in one piece." // Frenton nods. "I'll consult the map, and ask them." #HumanArrival
NanostoryIt's so weird. I filled part of the planet up with tasty salt water, like, 6,000 years ago. I guess I figured it would have calmed down by now. But you guys are still dealing with current and tides, aren't you? I think I need to have a conversation with my co-worker, Luna.
Story Quote"I was homeless, but I was happy. You would be surprised what you can do without any money whatsoever, as long as you have no qualms about wild berries and dumpster diving. I kept in touch as best I could in those days, and returned home after two years." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What is it like?" she asks as she's sewing his skin back together. // She doesn't have to specify, he understand the question. "Time just freezes for me. It's morning one second, and a few seconds later, it's night, and I've lost the whole day." // "Wow," she says." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalI clear my throat as Frenton tries to leave. "You've also, like…asked the right people about it, right? I don't want to interfere with some kind of sociopolitical gray area, or take away someone's home." // "I've done my due diligence," he assures me. "It's legit." #HumanArrival
NanostoryI half-expected to come home from vacation to a news article that read, Dude Bro Falls Off Cliff, Under Impression That the Ocean is Just, Like, Right There, And We Could Probably Just Walk Down From Here, Guys.
Story Quote"I remember being so happy as that gate opened, knowing that it meant freedom. I harbored no resentment—not yet. I didn't know at the time how bad things were about to get…how much worse life would be on the outside, not just in some ways, but all ways." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I can't believe you believe me," Oliver notes. // Lucy checks her watch. "Well, you will be able to prove it here shortly. I try not to prejudge." // He smiles. "Thank you…for everything." // "I've not yet sworn my Hippocratic Oath, but I take it seriously anyway." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalThere's something in his voice that tingles my spidey sense. Frenton has seemed like a decent guy so far, but I don't really know him. I'm not going to do anything to that planet without proof that it's the right thing to do. I'll be conducting my own investigation. #HumanArrival
Random NothingThere is one traffic light on each island in Hawaii. There are two traffic lights in Alaska.
Story Quote"I feel him more clearly now as the faux warmness overtakes our bodies. I'm grateful that, if he had to die, it was this way; quietly. If my cellmate could tell that something was wrong, they would be able to stop it. He would still die, but I wouldn't." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe sun approaches. Lucy wants to be staring at him when it happens. He recorded himself a few times, but no one has ever watched it live. It will be interesting to hear what it was like. He imagines that it'll be eerie, this fleshy statue in the middle of the room. #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"I need to get down to that planet, and start talking to people," I explain to Cricket and Claire. // "How will you get down without Frenton knowing?" Claire asks. "I've watched them. The astral transporters and shuttles are all monitored." // "I have my own ways." #HumanArrival
NanostoryI'm studying a language with a different writing system, a different alphabet, and one other major difference. Every word falls into that alphabetical order. Obviously, letters are skipped as needed, but you can't have a word with the letter Kkeh before Ehlio, or Thal after Wpul.
Story Quote"As per protocol, Olindse waves her hand in front of his face. He does not react. She looks over to find a portal. Someone who looks exactly like her is on the other side of it, in the extraction room. 'Umm, that is the wrong direction,' she complains." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe time bubble comes. He sees a flash of daylight, but then it's gone. Lucy's back, quite nearly where she was this morning. "That was cool," she says. // He looks around. "It looks like you didn't call the police, or the news." // "Doctor-patient confidentiality." #OliverSpout
Human Arrival"Can we come with?" Cricket asks. // // "Yeah," I answer. "I can teleport two other people of comparable mass at the same time." // "Will that waste your one-use ability?" Claire questions. // "No, it's common enough," I say. "I'll be able to do it several times." #HumanArrival
Stupid RemarkYa know, I was thinking about this while I was on vacation. The resort backed up to a golf course, so I could watch all the golfers slowly move from hole to hole. If they just didn't hit the ball so far, they wouldn't have to walk—or DRIVE—so far every time. Seems simple to me.
Story Quote"Detachment, Leona noted upon hearing this. If the matrioshka-class SWD was a detachment then they needed to be very afraid of the sheer scale of whatever it was detached from. It could be the largest object ever created across the four known realities." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Happy New Year!" Lucy exclaims. // "It was the new year this morning," Oliver corrects her. // She shrugs. "I've heard it both ways." // He laughs. // "So. What do you want to do tonight? I got my shift covered, and the boss took you off the schedule for a week." #OliverSpout
Human ArrivalClaire lifts up her Earthan weapon, and checks something on it. "I'm ready to go." // "As am I," Cricket concurs. // I look around, paranoid. "Good luck to us." I wrap an arm around each of them, and jump us down to the surface, directly to the landmass in question. #HumanArrival
Fake ConversationMe: "Congratulations, everybody, you made it all the way through #DryJanuary. You didn't drink a drop of alcohol for a month." // *crowd cheers* // "Now it's time to prepare for #DryFebruary." // Crowd: "What?" // Me: "Oh, did you think it was over? […] It will never be over."
Story Quote"He was shocked, and worried, and then his face changed the same way I felt mine change when I found out myself. He felt overwhelmed by his emotions, but one thing was for certain, it all added up to joy. He was excited. We had both changed our minds." #reflections #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver Spout"I have to sleep," Oliver explains. // "You didn't just sleep for the last nine hours, twenty-nine minutes, and seven seconds?" Lucy questions. "I looked it up." // "No, I basically jumped to the future. Only a few seconds passed for me. That's why I work so little." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyAs soon as we appear on the surface of the planet, we're taken into custody. It was not protocol for the three of us to just show up unannounced, and far outside the designated area. I urge them not to say a word to the captain of the ship, Frenton; not yet anyway. #AlienSurvey
NanostoryI've broken into @FortKnoxKY ten times since 1922. I like to return every ten years to see whether they've made it any more of a challenge. Sure, it gets harder to do, but I get better at it. I never steal anything. Wish me luck on my eleventh trip at the end of the week!
Story Quote"You see, we had just suffered a massive population decline from a nasty pandemic, and a lot of propaganda came out, urging people to do their part by having as many children as possible. Gay people weren’t deviants anymore, but they weren’t productive." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"That's sad," Lucy says, "only being awake for a few hours." // "Winters are better than summers," he confirms. // "What if you—" // "I took a trip to Norway…didn't matter. I was born in 64108, I follow this calendar." // "But what if you moved there permanently?" #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyThe Estormel police—or whatever they are—escort us to what just looks like someone's house. The door doesn't even lock from the outside. They have to post someone on the porch to keep us from leaving. I would say that's a good sign; they're already treating us well. #AlienSurvey
Fake ConversationHost: "For the million dollars, can you name all five Spice Girls?" // Me: "Of course I can. There's, uhhh…Posh." // Host: "Go on. A million dollars is a lot of money." // Me: "Right. Posh…Sleepy…um, Bubbles? Let's see…Temperance…and Death?" // Host: "Close enough, you won!"
Story Quote"I laugh when people ask me whether I think all those companies stole my idea. No, I wouldn't say so. I was in such a niche market, and before all that technology. You can't really say they were much alike. I never would have thought to grow that large." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe stands up to pace. "What if you made a conscious decision to live in a different area, with a different day/night cycle? What if it's not based on where you were born, but where you call home?" // "It would be hard to justify moving to Norway on the off-chance." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyWe're here for a few hours before we hear a bit of a commotion outside. It doesn't sound pleasant, but not violent, or too angry. Then the door opens, and in comes the Estormel woman I kept running into on the ship. "Funny they chose to put you in MY home," she says. #AlienSurvey
“Joke”You think it's a trick, but the man's the real deal. He totally red my mind. It really blue my mind.
Story Quote"The distance itself was obviously not that big of a deal. Fifty miles is a relatively easy trek for even an only moderately experienced hiker. Still, the barges weren’t the most comfortable surfaces to walk on, and it was pretty boring most of the time." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You don't have to move all the way up to Norway," Lucy believes. She looks something up on her phone. "Why, if you just moved to Wichita, the daylength would be different by about eight minutes. That's more than enough to test my theory." // "Still, that's extreme." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyI stand. "We apologize for the misunderstanding. I was given some interesting information about your little continent, and I wanted to come down and see it for myself." // "It's true," the woman says. "Our neighboring nations would like to separate from each other." #AlienSurvey
Random NothingIf I ran the world, the first thing I would do is imprison anyone who has, or has ever attempted to make another goddamn Cinderella movie!
Story Quote"I was very young, I don't know exactly what the white men wanted. They seemed to think that there was something special about our land. We always considered it sacred, but that was no business of theirs. I think they eventually got the message…somehow." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"This could make your life much easier," she argues. "I mean, it would suck, always living in winter, but if you can handle the cold, it's worth it." // "It was hard enough finding this job, with its nice boss, and flexible hours." // "I'll help you. I know people." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"If you don't mind," I reply, "I would like to speak to a few other people about it, especially those living on the other side of whatever border you've established." // "I can arrange that," she says. "but until then, it is customary for a host to feed her guests." #AlienSurvey
“Joke”It's like the old saying goes, "if it's broke, don't fix it, Sheila. I'll get to it in a couple days. My God, you just survived a week without a working furnace. I think you can last another few days. We live in North Dakota, not Antarctica. Pull yourself together."
Story Quote"Kaiora picks a bottle up from the floor. 'Damn, Olindse, this liquor stuff is 277 years old. It was poisonous when they made it, and it’s even more poisonous now. It’s probably from the history museum.' She tries to take control of Olindse’s teleporter." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I appreciate all you've done, but and so no further help is necessary. I have a routine, and it's working. My life isn't particularly glamorous, and it's not without its risks—as you can see by what happened last night—but it's my life, and I accepted it years ago." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"That sounds like a nice idea," I say, "but you may have nothing that we can eat. Not to say there's anything wrong with it, but human physiology is different. Our cuisine may not be compatible." // "It's already been tested," she assures me. "I'm Vieli, by the way." #AlienSurvey
“Joke”I got your trickle down economics right here. I piss in the cemetery, and it trickles down to Reagan's grave. How ya like me now? I'm prepared to get in trouble for this later.
Story Quote"There they could see their precious, beautiful ship. It wasn’t long before the explosion burst out of it, and began to spread over the desert. They watched in fear as the blast inched closer and closer to the city, hoping that the two would never meet." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy lifts her chin, searching for some logic that might steer him in the right direction. There may be nothing, and he already said he needed to sleep. "You can have the bed. I mean it," she says before he can argue. "You need time to recover. I'll take the couch." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyWe sit around the table awkwardly; me, Cricket, Claire, and Vieli. She evidently has a personal chef working on dinner for us. "You may be wondering why we're still waiting," Vieli says. "Well, we have another guest coming." // And then—as if on cue—Frenton walks in. #AlienSurvey
Random NothingWhen they invented guns, what did they do with all the swords? Melt them down to make more guns?
Story Quote"They actually tried to seek some kind of legal avenue to force me to try to extend my life, but there was no precedent for it, and I am in my right mind, so there was nothing they could do. The judge nearly laughed. The Tipton cure was so new back then." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe really did need a lot of sleep. He doesn't awaken for another 24 hours, having not woken up before the next sunrise. That's how this all got started, him having been asleep when his gargoyleness kicked in. It took him a few days, and a camcorder, to figure it out. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"I thought it prudent to contact your Captain about this," Vieli says. "I don't want to disrupt the chain of command." // I stand, fuming but controlling it. "He is not my Captain. There is no chain of command. We rescued him, and we owe him nothing." // "Apologies." #AlienSurvey
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "What was wrong with your old roommate? What didn't you like about him?" // Me: "Oh, he was such a stud." // My parole officer: "WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!! Sexist much? You're not allowed to use that word anymore."
Story Quote"It was tough, being told that it was time for me to leave. I felt like I had a few good years in me. I chose to go through with it, and I think my fans respected my decision. Looking back, I'm grateful for the honesty, and wish I had told him as much." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe first thing he feels is a tightness around his neck. He opens his eyes to find a man hovering over him—straddling him, actually. It's not long before the man jerks, and falls off the bed. It's then that Oliver realizes this is the guy who stabbed him in the club. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"You're right," Frenton begins, "I'm not actually your Captain. We joined forces out of mutual respect, and you don't owe me a thing. Just don't forget that I'm your only way off this planet. The Estormel don't have interstellar ships." // "But they do have a Nexus." #AlienSurvey
NanostoryI google "Zoey Deutch dating" once a day, just to…ya know, just to see if anything's changed. No big deal, there's no harm in it. I'm not pressuring @zoeydeutch to slide into my DMs, or whatever. I'm currently unattached, though…in case anyone was wondering.
Story Quote"Death row was built underground, but they moved me to luxury accommodations for the last several months of my life. I’m not using that word sarcastically either. I would have killed to live in a place like that before I went to prison, it was so nice." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy is standing there, wielding a frying pan. "There's something you didn't know about your ability," she says. "When someone touches you while you're frozen, they also freeze. This guy doesn't even realize how long he's been here." // "How did he find your place?" #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"We do?" Vieli asks me. // "Every inhabited planet has its own Nexus…somewhere," I explain. // "Why did you not tell us about this?" she questions Frenton. // "I didn't know," he claims. // "He likely didn't," I admit. "It's not common knowledge. It's my knowledge." #AlienSurvey
NanostoryThere's a deleted scene for this season of #StarTrekDiscovery where my character shares a turbolift with Book. It's so awkward, I end up saying, "my planet was destroyed too, and I'm also pretty butthurt about it." The director said my character motivation is that this is a lie.
Story Quote"I wish I had said yes. Not only would I not be dying today, but I would've been the first paying patient of his. I would have become famous for something good. Instead, I'll go down in history as the biggest idiot ever. At least I don't have to live it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"He's evidently all mobbed up," she explains. "Others know he came here, but don't worry, because your colleagues are protecting us outside my door. Don't worry about that either, they have no idea what you are. They jumped at the chance to help, no questions asked." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"We've looked for our Nexus ever since humans arrived on our world," Vieli says. "If we could find it, they would still have the advantage with their ships, but we would at least have some agency of our own. Can you find it?" // "Maybe," I say. "I make no promises." #AlienSurvey
“Joke”I was just taking up hugging when the pandemic hit. I guess a lot of people suddenly lost their hobbies, huh?
Story Quote"Most people will just be awake one minute, and not awake the next. Now, when this happens, if they get the sense that their life is ending, something will cross their mind. It may be more of a general memory of who they were, or what they went through." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver massages his neck, and rolls over to make sure the thug is unconscious. "I wish I had had someone like you…before—back when I was first trying to figure out the rules. I could have used an outside perspective." // She smiles proudly. "Happy to be of service." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"Before I try," I begin, "I don't know where you are with negotiations, but I'll ask you to let Frenton and the other humans leave. They have no business on this world anymore, do they?" // "That is not my call," Vieli explains, "but I will speak with my superior." #AlienSurvey
NanostoryPeople say crazy things all the time, like "I don't wanna get vaccinated." But then I say, "maybe killing slave-owners shouldn't be illegal," and suddenly, people are asking, "what are you doing with that ticket to Belarus?" and "why did you cut your hair like Liam Neeson's?"
Story Quote"Kaiora wanted to send a doctor with them, but Extremus couldn’t afford to lose anyone right now. The crew was having a surprisingly hard time backfilling medical positions. Dechen Karma was the best medic currently licensed, so that was the compromise." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Now we just need to know what happens when someone is touching you at the moment the sun rises," Lucy determines. // "No, it's too dangerous," he reasons. "That could turn out to be good for an enemy, or bad for a friend. The insight would not be worth the risk." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"The others won't want to leave on my ship if you find the Nexus," Frenton reminds me. "They're going to want to finally get back to their own home planet." // "That's true," I say. "So, I guess I will just…go see if I can find it." // "Dinner first," Vieli insists. #AlienSurvey
True Story?No matter what anyone tells you, I haven't killed anyone this year.
Story Quote"It was five billion light years away, which would take a light year engine a century and a half to cross. This fabrication had the added benefit of justifying their fondness for their temporal pattern. For them, the fictional trip only took five months." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Speaking of which, I need to get out of here, and I need to make a big show of it. The mob, or whatever, needs to know that you and I are not friends, and you're not a good bargaining chip if they want to get to me." // "Yeah, what you're saying makes sense, but…" #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyDuring dinner, Vieli tries to tell us a little bit about her planet, but I struggle to listen closely. I'm worried about the burden I've been handed. I don't think I have a character who can magically find a hidden Nexus machine. I may need an update from my alter. #AlienSurvey
Fake ConversationMe: "I had today off for the holiday, so I had time to plan this date. Is it too romantic?" // New Boyfriend: "You get Valentine's Day off?" // Me: "I work for a dating app." // New BF: "Wouldn't you be MORE busy?" // Me: "Yeah, it's a real problem. Things fall apart every year."
Story Quote"Some believed that it was some kind of publicity stunt for a horror film, but no one took responsibility for the phenomenon, and such a film never materialized, as far as I know. I didn't exactly look into it, but I imagine I would have heard the truth." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"But what?" he questions. "I have already put you in enough danger. We need to make everyone understand that you don't mean anything to me. There is still time to get out of this." // "I don't WANT to get out of this," she contends. // "What are you talking about?" #OliverSpout
NanostoryOooooo, I just got another email from my insurance company! I cannot WAIT to sit down and have a read. I absorb every word, click every link, watch every fun video. I follow them on all social media, and sometimes I call customer service just to say hey. I love them so much.
Alien SurveyAfter dinner, I ask if it would be all right to go for a walk, or if it would be too disruptive for people to see a human wandering around their planet. Vieli indicates that it will be fine. This particular part of the world apparently has no problem with strangers. #AlienSurvey
Story Quote"I saw it coming. I am not against automation in general. I even made sure my kids got themselves some skills that would make them indispensable within the workforce. But my daddy didn't teach me the same, so I was unprepared for it to happen so soon." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What did you think was gonna happen, Oliver? You were gonna tell me your secret, and then I would just walk away and move on with my life? I'm developing…feelings. Or rather I'm further developing them. I volunteered to give you a ride and fix you up for a reason." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyCricket and Claire don't bother asking me if they can come on the walk. They can tell that I kind of need to be alone right now. I have all but promised to help this world in two major ways, and I don't know if I can do even one of them. I need some time to think. #AlienSurvey
NanostoryThen he stepped off the rock, and stood before the accuser. He spoke directly to him, but all could still hear. "I offer you something greater than hope…greater than peace. I offer you suffering." So man accepted suffering in exchange for nothing, and this is where we are today.
Story Quote"I didn't know what to do. It may seem obvious to you—especially now—but things were really complicated from that side of the dilemma. He was putting me in such an awkward position. I had to choose between doing the right thing, and protecting my career." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe hasn't been in a relationship since high school. Whoever did this to him possibly waited until then so he could more easily cut ties with his old life. Connecting with others on a deep level is simply not practical. He has feelings too, but this would never work. #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyVieli hands me a geolocator, so I can keep track of where I am, and make my way back to her home. This will make it easier to focus on the task at hand without worrying about paying attention to where I'm going. I need to find this world's Nexus. How would I do that? #AlienSurvey
Random NothingFebruary and the other one of them are not sure what the hell is going on with your posters for the weekend but we can get together soon as well. Have fun with the girls on the road now but I'm going back home to work on my phone with my headlines on the way back. #autosuggestion
Story Quote"I asked him where he thought it came from. Apparently, when a stranger showed up at his door, and handed him unasked for food, he didn't stop to think that maybe someone else would be missing it. Well, I was none too happy, and I let him know as much." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'm not asking to go steady," Lucy says after he explains. "That doesn't mean that I can just switch off my heart. If you try to leave me behind, I'll still think about it. I'll still worry about you." // "But you'll be safe. I'll be in Wichita, and you'll be safe." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyI'm looking around at the buildings, and wondering where we are right now. Is this an important city on the planet? Is it on the small side, with much larger metropolises elsewhere? I realize what I need to accomplish this, so I literally run back to Vieli's house. #AlienSurvey
Random NothingPeople are authentically in a few minutes past the house though maybe we could move to a different place to get a short chuckle out of the car now but I'm sure they'll do that and get it into a waterfall shower every night but it's not the best thing to everybody. #autosuggestion
Story Quote"I apologized to my boss, and though he still couldn’t give me my job back, he promised not to do anything to risk my chances of getting another. I was back to being employed within the month, and fortunately, nothing like this ever happened to me again." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So you ARE going to Wichita?" she asks. // "It was never a bad idea to test the daylength, and now I have a really good reason to get out of the city. I don't know why this guy is so pissed off at me, but we haven't done anything to dissuade him from his crusade." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"I'm out of breath, because I'm out of shape, so it takes me a moment before I can explain what I realized about the Nexus. "Where is the heart of your civilization? Is there a country, or even a city, which is commonly known to have been the origin of your species?" #AlienSurvey
Random NothingThis was my last chance before you leave for work at the same place as a Trump-voter in a bit but I'm sure what happened before you leave for the weekend and go back and get cash out of the way to the office now I just want money to buy books but it is not good. #autosuggestion
Story Quote"Saturnalia. It was first commemorated by a group of people called…pagans? Christians took it to honor the birth of their god’s hooman son, who was probably actually born in spring. Then the corporations took it from them to rejoice in their capitalism." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I have a cousin in Derby." // "No. I'm trying to keep you out of it. Remember? That's the point?" // "Remember? I can't just let you go?" // "Lu-cy…" // "O-liver…" // "Maybe he's just not that into you." // She poses for her mirror. "I find that hard to believe." #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"Well, yes," Vieli replies. "We're standing on it. This is where our species first arose, based on certain evidence. It's the source of contention that's led us to ask you to split us in half. Why? Is the Nexus here?" // "No," I tell her. "Nowhere could be farther." #AlienSurvey
Random NothingWhy is James Bond always a white British guy? I think the world is ready for a sealion Bond. Double-oh-sealion. Octosealion. This may sound like an underhanded racist comment, but it's just a ridiculous play off of double oh-seven. That's as far as my inspiration went.
Story Quote"That sounded right. No species existed that was too tame to fight for its survival. Any individual exhibiting such traits would die before taking their species down that path. Yet civilization will not form if individuals aren't capable of cooperation." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThis is true. Lucy is incredibly hot. He could probably reason his way into starting something if he did the math. By average, he exists only half the time, which means he only aged eight years since becoming a gargoyle. Still, she's 22, and everyone thinks he's 34. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"The people who built the Nexa," I begin to explain, "planted them on inhabited planets so that the natives could one day go out and meet the galaxy. They didn't want you to do this while you were still young, so they deliberately hid it far away from your origin." #AlienSurvey
Fake ConversationMe: "I just finished watching one episode of #FamilyGuy every day for the last 20 years." // My parole officer: "That makes no sense, there are only a few hundred episodes total." // Me: "That doesn't matter, because I only watched one of them. It was Partial Terms of Endearment.
Story Quote"The way he looked at me that night, it was the same way he always looked at me, but I was seeing it in a new light. It was love. He was in love with me, and I was in love with him. We had been dating for the last few months, and I didn’t even know it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'll tell you what," Lucy continues, "how about you move to Wichita, and I'll also move to Wichita, and then we'll happen to run into each other at a café in Florence," she jokes. // "I can't tell you where to live." // Just then, the mobster on the floor groans. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"Does this mean you know exactly where it is?" Vieli asks, hopeful. // "I should have a pretty good idea. I still can't promise anything, but if you find me coordinates that are on the exact opposite side of the planet, that will be a good place to begin the search." #AlienSurvey
Random NothingA journey of a thousand miles starts with a single hop. I'm a kangaroo.
Story Quote"I spent my life after that trying to recreate the magic, whether it was a second new species in the Amazon rainforest, or a new method of detecting exoplanets. Nothing came of my efforts. I wasn’t able to make a single significant accomplishment since." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I don't know if he heard that," Oliver goes on, "so now no one's going to Wichita." // "I didn't hear anything," the mobster kid mutters. "Go on to Wichita. I promise I won't follow you." // "What do you have against me?" // "You humiliated me in front of my girl." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyVieli pulls up a map of Estorbund. She extracts the coordinates of our location, apparently writes a quick script to generate their antipodes, and selects our destination. It's blue, which suggests the middle of the ocean. Funny how they color-code just like humans. #AlienSurvey
Random NothingYou can't take your own advice. If you want to do something that you've advised someone else to do, you have to ask someone to advise you to do it too. If I catch you breaking this rule, it'll turn out to be bad advice, because I'll bite you in the hand for it.
Story Quote"So I’m like the only sacrifice. Except this sacrifice didn’t need to happen either. No, I’m not making any sense, but what do you expect from a guy like me? Did you think I would be coherent? I forgot how to do that years ago, and I don’t really care." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver kneels down, and lifts the man by his shoulders to prop him up against the wall. He feels the back of his head to make sure it's not bleeding. He says in all sincerity, "I am sorry. I thought I was making the situation better. I didn't want it to escalate." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyVieli zooms out to get a clearer picture. "Does that make sense?" // I grimace. "Is it possible that there is an uncharted island there?" // "Absolutely," she answers. // I nod. "It could also be underwater. It depends on how much The Inventors expected out of you." #AlienSurvey
“Joke”Max Headroom's sister, Lauren, but she goes by Lo.
Story Quote"We went all the way out there, spent millions of dollars, and inspired millions of people to reach for greatness. Someone had to be the first to land on the surface of the moon, goddammit, and if it couldn’t be him, there was only one option left. Me." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe man frowns, and scans the floor. He surely wasn't expecting any humility on Oliver's part. He likely lives his life one hostile act after the other. "How's the leg?" // "It's fine. I'm fine." // "Are you gonna press charges?" // "No," Oliver answers truthfully. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"Who are the Inventors again?" Vieli asks as if I once told her, which I didn't. // "They created the Nexa in their home universe. Once they were done, they were bored, so they did the same in other branes. That's why there is at least one on every inhabited world." #AlienSurvey
“Joke”But if you're hot to trot, you think you're slicker than grease // I've got news for you, dude, you're more like death of a salesman.
Story Quote"I turn the water back on, and shove the blood down the drain, but it just keeps leaking from my head. But it has to stop at some point, right? No one can know that it started here, or the ruse won’t work. It’s still coming? Seriously!? This isn’t fair!" #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe man massages his head. "My dad wasn't happy having to get me outta jail again. The family isn't gonna back me." // "They don't have to. I don't need this drama in my life. I just wanna move on. Can we do that, Mister…?" // "Orlov, But you can call me Kostya." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyVieli squints at me. "You seem to know a lot about how this stuff works. Who are you? Why were you cleaning a restroom when we first met?" // "Don't worry about it," I say, knowing it to be meaningless. // "He's a god," Cricket says…annoyingly. // "You're a what?" #AlienSurvey
Fake ConversationEmployer: "You think you didn't get the job because you're white?" // Candidate: "As a matter of fact, I do believe it was a factor." // Employer: "You didn't get the job..because you're the type of guy who thinks he didn't get the job because he's white. Kira will see you out."
Story Quote"Seconds later, a figure appears in the time mirror, but it isn’t Kaison. It’s a woman. 'Admiral Belo?' she whispers. She seems nervous and frightened. A light above her flickers, and she jumps in a panic, darting her eyes to make sure she’s still alone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Come on, Kostya." Oliver helps him off the floor, and keeps him steady. // Lucy grimaces, and sets the pan on the dresser. "Sorry." // "I harbor no ill will towards you," Kostya assures her. "Nor you, sir. I need clean up my act. You don't need to move to Wichita." #OliverSpout
Alien SurveyI'm determined to nip this in the bud. "You have two choices," I begin. "You can either sit here and listen to me explain who I am, and why I know what I know, or you can leave it alone, and let me help you find the Nexus. I will NOT do both of these things for you." #AlienSurvey
NanostoryThe man murdered his gay neighbor, and the judge set his bail at $14.88. Yeah, I think he's biased.
Story Quote"They took off down the corridor together. Then Mateo carefully began to let himself fall behind, so the bear chasing them would reach him first. 'Keep going!' he cried up to her when she started showing signs of downshifting. 'I’ll catch up!' he lied." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I do have one question," Kostya continues. "You said something about testing daylength there?" // "Don't worry about it," Oliver says. // "Okay, but…like, how did I lose seven hours of time? You were still holding the pan when I woke up." That's harder to explain. #OliverSpout
Alien Survey"I would like to know why you think you're a god," Frenton says. // "Easy for you since you have a ship," Claire points out. // "He doesn't get a vote anyway," Vieli decides. "The story would satisfy my curiosity, but the Nexus will help my people. Please…find it." #AlienSurvey
NanostoryAccording to @googlemaps, this gas station isn't very busy right now, which is not true. But don't blame @google, because they don't have access to all of the data. The place is packed with Apple Maps users who are trying to get to a coffee shop that's located two states over.
Story Quote"As I said, I wasn’t the only one, but I was famous for it before I was halfway through, because I was actually spending time absorbing culture. Airlines would send me free tickets to promote their planes. Countries would pay my way to draw in tourism." #reflections #fishquotes
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutBefore Oliver or Lucy have to worry about coming up with a lie to tell Kostya, they hear a ruckus in the hallway. "Oh no," Kostya says. "Someone moderately loyal to me must've come as backup. I better go tell him that everything's fine." // "You do that," Lucy urges. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterIt's time to find this planet's Nexus. I've seen enough of Estorbund to know that the Estormel are ready for this step in their development. Even if they weren't, I have every right to step in, and find it for them anyway. And for that, they've begun to call me…the #NexusHunter.
“Joke”I run a homemade speculum business on Etsy.
Story Quote"We used to make up stories about them once being international spies who worked for competing agencies until they fell in love, and had to escape to America to start new secret lives together. She is of Polish descent, and he is Armenian, or something." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey all three run over to the door, but Kostya is the one to open it to find a young woman on the other side. "Natasha?" // They peek over his shoulder to find Oliver's bouncer colleagues squirming on the floor, both in great pain. "What did you do?" he questions. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterOkay, so no one's actually calling me Nexus Hunter, but I think if I start using the keywords separately, the title will eventually catch on. Right now, we just need to work on getting transportation to the middle of the ocean on the exact opposite side of the world. #NexusHunter
NanostoryDear diary, five days and still no end to this headache. I fear I will never find respite. Cause remains unknown. Soon I shall cut off my head, and seek a new one. My betrothed believes that I should find the replacement first, but I am not sure I understand why that matters.
Story Quote"I started rampaging through the store, throwing clothes around and...well that’s all I did. It was an inconvenience to clean up, and I was super fired for it, but they didn’t even call the cops. I realized then that this was all my big sister’s fault." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"They'll live." Natasha redirects her attention to Kostya. "What did YOU do?" // "We've worked it out, it's cool. You didn't have to come save me." // "I ALWAYS have to save you." Natasha takes him by the arm. "We're going home." // Kostya pulls away. "No, thanks." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterIt's going to be complicated, you see, because we don't know precisely where we're going, or what we're looking for. The Nexus could be on an island out there that hasn't been discovered yet, or it could be at the bottom of the ocean. All we can do is go on the hunt. #NexusHunter
NanostoryHades is a tricky god to do business with. He can be very unpredictable, but he's also vainglorious. My friend once had to tell him that her children considered him like a second authority figure.
Story Quote"She remained completely unawares of our true relationship. She, and our youngest sister later on, would always refer to me as their aunt, but ya know, the kind of aunt that isn’t related. It was heartbreaking, but I chose to respect our parents’ wishes." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutNatasha frowns and looks down at Kostya's arm, like she wasn't aware that he was physically capable of pulling away from her. "Konstantin Maximovich Orlov. Come with me right now." // "I'm with my friends!" he insists. // "They're your friends now?" Yeah, ARE they? #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterThere is a boat on the water already that's only a few days out from the general search area. It is decided that Vieli, Cricket, Claire, and I will travel by land vehicle, then by plane, then by what sounds to me like a helicopter, which we'll have to jump out of. #NexusHunter
NanostoryI spent a long time looking for answers about my biological family. I finally thought I found my long lost brother, but we wanted to be sure so we did a comparative DNA test. No match, but we had already grown close, so we've been friends for years. That's how we know each other.
Story Quote"So I tried to escape, but he was too strong, and I was too hurt. He carried me up some steps, and onto a rooftop. He didn’t even explain what he had against me. He just unceremoniously dropped me over the edge, like it was the only logical thing to do." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I don't wanna go back," Kostya cries. "I don't EVER wanna go back. I don't wanna be part of that family, I don't wanna fight in father's war. I just want to live my own life, and put all of it behind me." // "We all want that," Natasha replies. "It's not so easy." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterFrenton offers to teleport us up to his ship, and then down to the boat, but Vieli dismisses him. She doesn't want any more help from him. He brought the Estormel hostages back, so he can go. She's confident we'll find the Nexus, so he can leave the other humans too. #NexusHunter
“Joke”I'm proud to announce that my company is ready to release our new personality test. Myers-Briggs, IQ assessments; this one is easier than all of them, and it's completely free! You don't even have to answer any questions. We already know your personality: you're an asshole.
Story Quote"It’s going to take, like, three hours to watch all of the rest. What captain has that kind of time? Wait, some of them are tagged 'obsolete'. She must have rendered those ones redundant with further updates. Even so, this is not a sustainable solution." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Now, come on," Natasha insists. She begins to drag her brother out of the apartment. // "Okay, but wait," Kostya says. He pulls out a receipt from a chicken joint, and scribbles a phone number on it. "Let's grab a beer, or somethin'. On me." He hands it to Oliver. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterThe cars here look bizarre, but we appear to be in an approximation of a limo. It's stocked with food and drink, which I partake in, because I didn't get much for dinner. The private jet is even nicer. Who IS this woman? I realize I never asked her role in all this. #NexusHunter
Really Bad JokeSo I got a new girlfriend. *wait for cheers* Yeah, I got a new girlfriend, and she asks what I like to do for fun. So I say—I say, "I make all the candles I need myself." She says, "cool, where are they?" I reply, "I ain't GOT any, because I don't NEED any candles." Ba-dum-chhh.
Story Quote"They were awaiting Xerian’s response to a request for him to use main sequence temporal technology to sneak into the SWD without being detected or halted. He was hesitant to believe he would be surrounded by loyalists, and was concerned about the risks." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Did you just make friends with the man who stabbed you?" Lucy asks. // Oliver peers at the receipt. "Maybe not. His handwriting is as bad as the best doctor. You could learn a thing or two from him." // "Ha-ha. Speaking of which, help me help our friends inside." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterCricket and Claire fall asleep right away, so I go up to sit across from Vieli to start a conversation. This is so weird. I'm a huge introvert. I don't volunteer information, and I don't ask people about themselves. This whole ordeal has changed everything about me. #NexusHunter
Random NothingAll my fans are constantly stopping me on the street to say, "that Eiffel 65 song is about Europop." And I keep having to tell them, "no! The lyrics are, 'you're a pup.' He's singing to his dog, you IDIOT!"
Story Quote"I did go through a lot of knives, though. My sleepwalking self had a habit of throwing them away, and always on trash pick-up day, like he periodically felt that it was time to refresh the collection. Again, fortunately, I never hurt myself with them." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy and Oliver help the bouncers into her apartment, and then she patches them up. They mostly need over-the-counter pain meds for their bruises, but there's nothing that she can do for their bruised egos. Oliver apologizes for putting them in this position, though. #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"Are you…the leader of your country, or something?" // Vieli smiles out the window. "Yes, I've heard about your human forms of government. I find it fascinating. We don't do things the same way. Our primary currency is respect. Our most respectable make decisions." #NexusHunter
Random NothingSeeing women cheat on their husbands warms the cuckolds of my heart.
Story Quote"The rest of the world was going to learn who called the shots, whether he was their official leader, or not. He didn’t need to take Sakhaido over, or any other country. He just needed to make sure that someone was in charge who would do what he wanted." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Don't worry about it," Stan assures him. // "Hey, isn't your real name…?" // "Stanislav," he finishes. // "Right," Oliver remembers. "Forgive me, but that sounds Russian. Are you Russian?" // "Don't say that," Stan demands. "Do not ever say that. I am Ukrainian." #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"I would like to think that's how we do it too," I say. // "But you hold elections. On my planet, if you run into a problem, you seek guidance from someone you respect. If they can't solve it, they go to someone that THEY respect. This eventually leads to an answer." #NexusHunter
NanostoryGame show host has to be the wildest dream for a kid to have growing up: "What do you want to do when you grow up?" // "I wanna ask strangers questions on TV to see how smart they are in front of millions of people!"
Story Quote"Still, I kept doing it, because it was decent money, and I was starting a family at the time, so staying in place was better for my schedule anyway. Then one night in 1999, it happened. And this is my confession. I was driving back from a night class." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Sorry," Oliver says again. "I was just wondering if you knew anything about the Russian mob family that apparently lives in this city. The dude who stabbed me seems like a decent guy who was born into a bad situation, and his sister seems to be in the same boat." #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"It doesn't seem like that would always work," I say, shaking my head subtly, but trying not to judge her culture. // "I imagine our ways work—and DON'T quite work—about as often as yours. Nothing is perfect, but maybe the Nexus network can create a better galaxy." #NexusHunter
“Joke”Be sure to read my article where I list the Top Ten Appearances by Patrick Warburton (@paddywarbucks) on #Seinfeld. In case you don't get the joke, he was only in ten episodes, and either way, these are stupid articles, and you're stupid for reading them.
Story Quote"Dozens of people died, and the rest of us were very badly injured. We needed blood. We needed a lot of it. I remember thinking that this was going to screw up my schedule for the rest of my life, but as it turned out, that was the least of my problems." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I know nothing of them," Stan explains. "I know I don't trust Russians. I also know this makes me bigot, but that's okay, because I would always rather be a bigot than a Russia-loving son-of-a-bitch." // "Noted," Oliver replies. // "I know the mob," Arsenio claims. #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"Is that really why you want me to find your planet's Nexus?" I pose. "Are you legitimately hoping to establish diplomatic relations with the rest of the Milky Way?" // "No, I have no such lofty aspirations," Vieli admits. "I'm just trying to even the playing field." #NexusHunter
Fake Movie Quote#NameThatMovieQuote: "Party on, Bill!" // "Party on, Ted!"
Story Quote"They couldn’t even tell him what he was going to be doing until he signed the non-disclosure agreement. All they said was that his résumé came up, and that he was perfect for a new position. So I took the document home, and read over it very carefully." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What do you know?" Oliver asks. // "I know that you're gonna want to stay away from anyone even somewhat associated with them right now. You heard of those vigilantes who dismantled two other KC gangs? They've gone after the Russians now. The mob will likely lose." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterVieli looks at her watch. "You better get some sleep. We still have a ways to go. We're not as fast as the fancy spaceships that you grew up with." // I laugh and stand up. "Actually, my homeworld is years less technologically advanced than yours. I'm a traveler." #NexusHunter
NanostoryI have always found it so bizarre how we start letters—even professional ones—with the word "dear". 'Dear Mr. Smith, CEO, // I know you're really busy, and you don't know me. I work in the Iowa factory of your company, and I believe that I deserve a 400% raise. // Love, John Doe'
Story Quote"As he listens, Omega realizes that this isn't going to be good enough. These clones are clearly on the front lines, but it doesn't only affect them. It affects the entire clone population, and they all have the right to decide what to do for themselves." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver looks down at the piece of paper with Kostya's scribbled number on it. It's better to have more friends than more enemies, even if those friends can get you in trouble. He decides he's going to decipher this terrible handwriting, and reach out in a day or two. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterShe's surprised. "I almost regret agreeing to not ask you how you know the things you know about the Nexa. The fact that you grew up on a relatively primitive planet makes your secret story all the more intriguing." // "Maybe one day," I say as I return to my seat. #NexusHunter
Random NothingAll those meaningful quotes attributed to Winston Churchill? Sure, he said them, but I wrote that shit.
Story Quote"Mateo began to wonder why they were bothering sticking around at all. Xerian was where he needed to be, and seemingly happy with it. They had completed their mission, so wasn't it time for them to leave—if not to go home, at least to get out of the way?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOnce Lucy is finished cleaning up the bouncers, she and Oliver send them on their way. Then Oliver himself tries to leave, but she stops him. "Why don't you stay for dinner? You must be starving." // "I don't want to overstay my welcome. You've done so much already." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterThe bumpy landing wakes me up hours later. Everyone else is already awake, and looking out of the windows. I can see water on either side of the runway. They apparently built it all the way out into the ocean, from an airport that's right on the beach of the island. #NexusHunter
Fake ConversationBoss: "Ted! The customer bought two TVs from us, but only received one!" // Ted: "Why did they order the same thing twice, instead of just asking for two on one order?" // Boss: "Why does that matter?" // Ted: "I erased the second one. I thought it was just a minority report."
Story Quote"When a girl started talking to me at a party, I couldn’t believe it, but I wanted to, so I went along with it. She seemed very interested in who I was, and what I did, which was unusual, because for as many fans as I had, girls didn’t care much for it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Let me take care of you," Lucy begins. "You've been living with this secret. I'm sure you're sick and tired of it. Besides, school's on a break, and I'm off the club schedule, so I need a purpose. That's just the kind of person I am." // "Dinner would be lovely." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterWe step off of the plane, walk across the taxiway, and immediately climb into the helicopter-like vehicle. The third leg of our journey is underway. We will meet up with the cargo ship in the middle of the ocean, and head for the possible coordinates of the Nexus. #NexusHunter
Random NothingActually, if you think about it, that car alarm that's going off down the street right now should stop.
Story Quote"I don’t know how long I was there before my grandfather ran over and scooped me up. 'Don’t tell your mother,' he said to me. 'We’ll get you cleaned up, and you’ll be okay.' I was indeed okay. But I was changed. I no longer hoped to be any kind of hero." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAnd so Oliver and Lucy play house for the next couple of days. She provides him a safe space to go into his non-rejuvenative stone sleep, and he gives her some much needed company that she didn't quite realize was missing from her life. For now, they're only friends. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterWhen we catch up to the ship, it hasn't yet reached our coordinates. Here is the moment of truth. There's no place for the helicopter to land, so we're gonna have to jump into the water, and then climb into an inflatable raft. I've never done anything like it before. #NexusHunter
Fake ConversationMe: "I don't drink alcohol, because it makes you perceive the world wrong, and say dumb things that make no sense." // Drunk Person: "Oh, that's so fascinating. Brilliant AND hot; where have you been all my life? Do you wanna go back to my place?" // Me: […] "I rest my case."
Story Quote"No, her eyes looked more like she had to find the information from a book laid before her, except there was no book. She was getting the answers from somewhere, though, and we realized later how literal this was. All of her stories were actually true." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver's leg heals quite nicely, though still not at superhuman speeds. Lucy makes him admit how much it sucks that there seems to be no upside to his curse. If not healing, than at least something like being able to see in the dark, or whatever. That would be fair. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterBoth Cricket and Claire just jump right out of the aircraft with no problem. The former is in peak physical condition, and the latter is a highly trained officer in the military. Me, I'm just a normal person. Though I did once jump off of the highest diving platform. #NexusHunter
“Joke”My neighbor took the jab, and a year later, we found out that he had been cheating on his wife for seventeen years. So am I going to get the #COVID #vaccine? Not if that's one of the side effects. #COVID19
Story Quote"I suddenly realized that I no longer wanted to be an actor. Yeah, that's how I got started, but I ended up enjoying staying in the background. I wasn't getting noticed, but I met a lot of really cool people, including celebrities, and it was always fun." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutA few days later, there's a knock on the door. It's Kostya. He looks like he's been through some stuff. He can barely stay up on his legs. Oliver practically has to drag him over to the couch. "I've not gotten any sleep since I was here," he says. "Not one second." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterOh my God, the longer I stand here dwelling on the fear, the more of an idiot I look to my friends. I have traveled through time, and to other universes. I should be able to jump out of a bloody helicopter. I just have to let go, and trust that I will survive this. #NexusHunter
Dumb Ditty🎵Hello, Marcus, my old friend. // I've come to kill you. Don't pretend… // That you just did not see this coming! // Haven't you grown sick of running? // I've had visions of your blood, and guts, and brains // Your wrists in chains // I want your full…compliance🎵
Story Quote"He archivetweet to go back to Usonia, to start his new life, free from the burden of proselytization, but he had no means of accomplishing this. He had no money, and no connections. I was able to explain to him that it was perfectly fine if he stayed with us." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay, start at the beginning," Oliver prompts. // "I usually go to bed at about 9:30 on weekdays," Kostya says. "I used to do that for school, and then I just got used to it. For the last two nights, I close my eyes, and when I open them a second later, it's dawn." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterThankfully, I don't have to work up the nerve to jump. "Let me help," Vieli says as she gently nudges me. I fall out, and crash gracelessly into the water. It hurts a little, but I can tell immediately that there are no broken bones. The water seems too warm, though. #NexusHunter
Random NothingI went back to college to get the Big D, and you won't believe it, but there's a guy named George Glass at this skewl.
Story Quote"While Hock Watcher can effectively be a lifetime appointment, Chief Medical Officer actually is. Dr. Holmes would have to do something pretty bad to lose her job. Premature retirement is even harder. If Kaiora wants to do this, she has to be careful." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver and Lucy exchange a look. Kostya notices. "Wait, what was that? You two know something. What do you know?" // "You don't feel any rest when you wake up?" Lucy asks. // "And it happens at night?" Oliver adds. // "Did you give me some disease?" Kostya questions. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterCricket and Claire are wrapped in blankets on the raft. The latter is noticeably shivering. Meanwhile, I'm floating here in a hot tub. It's actually a particularly warm hot tub. Like, I would ask them to turn it down if it were literally a hot tub at the rec center. #NexusHunter
Fake ConversationSales hombre: "Preguntas?" // Me: "No, I'm not pregunta. I'm not even a woman."
Story Quote"Angela, Marie, Ramses, and Olimpia were all marked as champions, as was Mateo, who would be fighting on Xerian’s behalf. The leaders grimaced, wholly expecting the team to be horrified at this development. But they weren’t, leaving the leaders baffled." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver had always called his condition a curse—not a disease that could be passed on to others. It had never come up. It was weird, though. Kostya's condition wasn't the same. He wasn't a gargoyle. He seemed to be freezing at night, rather than during daylight hours. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterSomething is very wrong here. The rafter has his arm outstretched, and is trying to help me in, but I feel like I shouldn't do that. Frustrated, he slides over, and pulls Vieli in instead. She's shivering too. So it's just me; it's not the water. I'm alone in this. #NexusHunter
“Joke”Okay, I'll try to explain it in simpler terms, so you'll understand. Dentists are like aquiline perinatologists, except instead of treating high-risk eagle pregnancies, they deal with the dentistic sciences. Is that more clear? Because I don't know how to dumb it down more.
Story Quote"The only way to reach a state of zero war, zero hunger, and zero pain is…wait for it, zero people. There will always be conflict, and hatred, and strife unless we discontinue the human race. To our knowledge, no one has ever even once asked to be born." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSeeing no other good option, the two of them try to explain to Kostya the whole deal about stone sleep. It's why he lost time after he attacked Oliver, and it apparently explains what's wrong with him now. Unfortunately, they have no idea if it's permanent, or what. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterI look up at my friends as I'm treading water. Claire is urging me to get in, but Cricket can't relate to the danger, because his body self-regulates its temperature. Still, he understands that I'm not supposed to remain in what is meant to be freezing cold water. #NexusHunter
NanostoryPeople are always admiring celebrities, but they're just normal people. Even presidents have to shit several times a day, or once a week, but his doctor has him on some new medication, so it's really just about finding that balance.
Story Quote"You might ask why we didn’t try to call for help, but first, yelling down the hallway seemed counterproductive, because what if that freaked the snake out? He seemed pretty chill, but again, we couldn’t know that. Secondly, this was the early eighties." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutKostya listens to the whole story patiently. It's hard to tell what he's thinking, though, because he looks so damn exhausted. When it's over, he acts like he's about to ask at least one follow-up question, but then he closes his eyes, and falls asleep right there. #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"Tavis, get in the boat," Vieli demands. "Now." // I look down at the water. It's too dark to see anything below the surface, even on this bright day. I lift the geolocator Vieli gave me over my head. "Is this waterproof? Pressureproof?" // "Yes," she answers. "Why?" #NexusHunter
“Joke”You think I can be trusted, but trust me, I can't.
Story Quote"He would charge pennies for a service that literally only he could provide. He could barely make ends meet, but the way he explained it to me, his clients were at their lowest, and charging them a premium would have needlessly made it harder on them." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver and Lucy exchange another look. He reaches out, thinking he'll carry Kostya over to the bed, but then he thinks better of it. Making contact with him is what caused this in the first place. And so Lucy just helps him to his side, and throws a blanket over him. #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"We're already here," I say, even though I don't really know that. I take a deep breath, and force myself to sink. Once my head is under, I roll, and begin to swim downwards. I don't know where I'm going, and I still can't see a damn thing, but I just keep swimming. #NexusHunter
Dumb DittyIs your buffin muttered? Would you like us to assign someone to mutter to your buffin? Excuse me? What…? Excuse me? What...is a buffin?"
Story Quote"The math works out as it ought to. We made sure we knew each other well before we took the next step, and we made sure we were ready for kids before we did that. We also wanted it to be painfully clear that we didn’t get married because of any children." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We have to figure out what's going on," Lucy decides. "You can make it so that people can't get any sleep? But then…you can reverse it? This doesn't make sense." // "I'll have to figure it out all on my own…or not. But I can't stay here. I can't be around anyone." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterI was a diver-slash-swimmer in high school, but I wasn't particularly good at either. I was never fast, strong, or elegant, and I haven't exactly improved since I graduated seventeen years ago, and stopped doing both of them completely. But I'm moving fast right now. #NexusHunter
Fake ConversationMatt: "Hey, do you like fish sticks?" // Me: "I do, yes." // Trey: "So, what, are you, like, a gay fish, or somethin'? Tee-hee-hee!" // Me: "No, I'm a girl fish."
Story Quote"He wanted to know more about me, and he seemed to find it quite frustrating that I wasn’t giving him anything. I responded with the shortest sentences possible if necessary to get him off my back, and with nothing if I thought I could get away with it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I've already told you that you're not gonna run away," Lucy argues. // "I get your feelings on that," Oliver says as sensitively as possible. "But this new development changes everything. I am physically dangerous to the people around me. I can't even keep my job." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterOne time, the coach made us hold our breaths for some given number of laps, and if one of us failed, we all failed. I caused us to do the exercise many times because of how bad my lung capacity was and is. It's been several minutes now, though, and I still feel fine. #NexusHunter
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Can you do it?" // Me: "Yeah…like taking a baby from Candy." // Parole officer: "Excuse me?" // Me: "Candy Smith? She runs a daycare down the street. Notoriously terrible at it; leaves the door unlocked, and all that. It would be quite easy to steal a baby."
Story Quote"Kaiora forces herself back to her real body, and works hard to catch her breath. The experience was more traumatic than she even realized while it was happening. It was surreal, but now she’s shaken, and doesn’t want to go back. What the hell was that?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe reaches out to take him by the arm, but his reflexes are too quick. "Call me when he wakes up. I want to make sure he's okay. We're not going to be experimenting, or collecting data. I'm just going to go off on my own. I've always had that as a contingency plan." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterAfter fifteen or twenty minutes, I see light. It's not very bright, but it's illuminating a right angle, which means a manmade structure is down here with me. I keep going until I reach it. Here it is; the entrance to the Nexus building. I found it. Me. I did that. #NexusHunter
Random NothingYou can't spell DEMAND without MAN!
Story Quote"Three dimensional space contained an infinite number of degrees, so if you wanted to regulate travel within it, the only way was to somehow take control of people’s vessels, and redirect them accordingly. This was their home, so that was fair enough." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You've always had a plan to escape society?" Lucy asks for clarification. // "Yes," he replies. "Camping gear stored up, and emergency money tucked away." // "I understand." She goes over to her purse, and pulls out ten 20-dollar bills. "So here's a little extra." #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterI get myself to the ocean bed, and stand at the door. I reach over to the handle, and try to pull it open, but it won't budge. That could be a good thing. It might not be flooded in there. All I need to do now is figure out whose power I'm willing to use up for this. #NexusHunter
“Joke”Astronaut: "Uhh, Houston? Are you seeing this? It looks like a giant bird flying over Earth. My God, it must be the size of the moon! How could you not be detecting it? Oh, wait, no. It's just a regular bird that's flying right outside the window of my spaceship."
Story Quote"I found myself being recruited by a mysterious group with rather unclear intentions. They said that a war was raging on other worlds, and that they needed fighters like me. I was hesitant, but curious. It sounded too crazy for me to just walk away from." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe accepts the money. He doesn't want to argue with her anymore. It would just delay the inevitable. They give each other an air hug, and then he leaves the apartment. When he's satisfied she's no longer by the door, he slips the money underneath it, and walks away. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterOne of my characters, Serenity Theodo is a matter phaser. It's possible that I would need her ability for some other thing, but less likely than a teleporter, so I take the risk. I channel her power into me, and walk through the door. I was right. It's perfectly dry. #NexusHunter
Random NothingThy will be done with what?
Story Quote"Either God exists, and he’s evil, or he doesn’t. I would much rather it be the latter. The former is such a horrifying prospect. I can’t believe people live their lives under such obvious oppression. My family didn’t disown me, but we did drift apart." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe bus doesn't run this late, which is just another downside to his lifestyle. So he begins the long walk back to the club to retrieve it. Under normal circumstances, someone as fatigued as him shouldn't drive, but he has to get out of public before the sun rises. #OliverSpout
Nexus HunterIn response to my presence, the Nexus chamber begins to light up. As I'm admiring my own accomplishment, someone knocks on the door. What? Hoping I can still phase, I peek my head through the wall. It's Cricket. I shouldn't be surprised. I pull him into the chamber. #NexusHunter
“Joke”If you ever see one of those really long and complex math equations, there's a simple way to guess it. There's a good chance the answer is 1 or 0, so go ahead and "solve" it. If you're wrong, you can pass it off as a joke. But if you're right, your life is about to change, Will.
Story Quote"Some people stared, clearly not wanting him to be there at all, but one particular man started scolding him for wasting the money on a decadent meal when he really ought to have been saving up, and being frugal. I was a coward, and I didn’t say a word." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe's back home in plenty of time to take a shower, and prepare for the day to begin. He likes to enjoy the sun for the three seconds that he's trapped in the bubble, so he opens the curtains, and steps back to avoid being seen. There's a desperate knock on the door. #OliverSpout
Nexus Hunter"You found it," he says, pleased. // "Yes, I…I think I could just sense it. And I should have known that you could follow. Sorry." // "How do we get everyone else down here?" // I smirk. "Don't have to. Computer…rise to the surface." The building begins to tremble. #NexusHunter
“Joke”I used to be a spearmint leaf, but I was bitten by a radioactive human, so now I'm somewhere in between a human and spearmint. Neither one, nor the other. Scientists run all sorts of tests on me, but never gave me a name. They call me…the ex-spearmint.
Story Quote"We mostly only went to school. Once a week, father would go out to check the post office box, and it was a real treat if one of us got to accompany him. Once a month, he would restock us—or overstock—on supplies, and he usually needed two of us to help." #reflections #fishquotes
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutOh no. Lucy must have found the money. She knows what time it is, though. He reluctantly opens the door, ready for another argument, but it's not her. It's some other young woman. "Oliver Spout?" she asks. // "Look, this isn't a good time." // "You got THAT right." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationI wish I could see the looks on Claire and Vieli's faces as they watch the Nexus building rise above the surface of the water like some kind of ancient lost city. I imagine it to be a glorious sight to witness. From inside, we can feel it, but can't see anything. #NexusActivation
“Joke”"Keep my cuffing mouth out your wife!" --Smill With, circa 2202
Story Quote"Just due to my interference, he slumped down a bit until his head was pressing against the horn. So it was blaring, the light was green, we weren’t moving, and the people behind us were honking too. There was only one lane, so they couldn’t go around." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"If you just come back tonight—" he tries to say. // "I can't do that. I need shelter now." // "The women's shelter is—" // "That's not what I mean." She brushes past him, and enters the apartment. // He looks at his watch. She's seconds from finding out his secret. #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationNow that we're on the surface, I can finally open the door. There is nothing but open ocean, and I can't walk around to check for the boat in other directions. "Computer, transparent walls," I order. The walls effectively disappear, but we still only see the sea. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationGeneral: "Next! […] Okay, if you were to be selected for the bunker, what skills do you have that would help the human race survive?" // Me: "I once saw a 45-second Twitter video where they poured metal into carved stone to make a fence." // General: "Fence-builder. He's in!"
Story Quote"Was that true? That might actually be true. It would have been almost impossible to pass any laws restricting anyone's right to love and partnership, so they may have decided that their best alternative was to find someone who wasn't looking for that." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Please, you can't—" // "Watch how I do," she demands. She checks her own watch, and looks out the window. She's gazing at the sky like he does. // "No," he says. // "Yes." // "No," he repeats. // "Wait for it…" The sun comes up while they're staring at each other. #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"You know, we weren't swimming straight down," Cricket reminds me. // "Right, but the waters are pretty calm. We should still see them. What did you say when you jumped in after me? Did it seem like they were about to leave?" // "No, I told them to wait for us." #NexusActivation
“Joke”I've been calling them Jaames Caan and Scoott Caan this entire time. I must have looked like a real idiot during my Oscar acceptance speech when I mentioned them in passing.
Story Quote"Now he was laughing. It went on a little too long, actually. He literally slapped his knee. 'Have it your way, Mrs. Matic. I’ll become an agent of peace. You’ll pardon me for having to take some time to figure out what that means.' He laughed some more." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutWhen a day passes while he's in the bubble, he sees a flash of light. If he leaves the TV on, he can witness an entire day's worth of programming at hyperspeed. But the girl in his apartment doesn't move at all. She appears to be stuck in her own bubble. Who IS she? #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Computer, please locate the nearest artificial structure," I request. // "The nearest structure is a seafaring vessel of unknown design, located three zolmas away." // "What is a zolma?" Cricket asks. // "That's, like, 60 kilometers." // "…what's a kilometer?" #NexusActivation
NanostoryI just drove by a house with their Halloween decorations still up. Or maybe they already put them out for next year. Or maybe… Ya know what, I think maybe I just saw a dead body on someone's lawn. Who would I contact about this?
Story Quote"Every cent seemed to be going into his reëlection campaigns. Still wrong, still illegal, but I saw his house, and the car that he drove. He was living a surprisingly modest life. Even so, I had to expose him, and I expected my actions to ruin my life." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe sun goes down, taking the bubbles with it, placing them back in realtime. "How did you find me?" // "A little bit of investigating by your boss," the girl says. "She wanted to contact next of kin. Evidently you were hurt, but you listed a fake emergency contact?" #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"A small boat is heading towards us," the computer announces, unprompted. // "Zoom into it, please." On the wall opposite the entrance, we can see this planet's version of a motorized inflatable raft. It's heading for us at top speed. The passengers look mean. #NexusActivation
“Joke”For my upcoming birthday, all I want is for archive footage of Jeff Garlin to wander around my house. Occasionally a sound bite should play from the other room of him telling me to leave him alone, because he's already taken off his pants, or complaining about "kids these days".
Story Quote"One boy suggested that we were long lost sisters, which was obviously dumb, because that would mean that our shared parents gave their sororal twins the same exact first and middle names, and then gave one of us away to a couple with the same surname." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutNo emergency contact. The whole point was to put his past behind him. "Don't tell me you're…my daughter?" // "No, you idiot! I'm your sister. I was two when you left! Remember? Little baby Skylar? Ring a bell?" // "Yes, of course I remember. Shit." // "Yeah. Shit." #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Are they pirates?" I ask rhetorically. // "Unknown," the computer replies. // "Yes, I know," I say. // "Is there a lockdown mode?" Cricket suggests. // "We're probably already in it, but just to make sure, computer…don't let anyone in without my authorization." #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationTime Traveler 1: "Oh, no. What year is it now?" // Radio: 🎤"Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive! Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive!"🎤 // Time Traveler 2: "Well…definitely 1977." // Radio Personality: "That was Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees, and this is Oldies 95!"
Story Quote"This is what it feels like to look back at my past. I feel like a God, my hindsight is so much better than 20/20 right now. I was so wrong about everything, and I’m incredibly embarrassed of myself. It’s unfair, having this perspective so late in life." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So you're eighteen now," Oliver points out. // "I am," Skylar confirms. "I guess you get the family curse when you become an adult." // "I've never heard of anyone else having it before us." // "How would YOU know? You skipped out, didn't even ask anyone for help." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThere is nothing to do but wait while the boat makes its way towards us. We'll have to know what they want, and what they're willing to do to get it, to react appropriately. As their visages come into focus, it becomes clear that they are determined and unafraid. #NexusActivation
NanostoryThanks, guys. I hope you enjoyed my video. I'll release a new one next week. Don't worry about liking or subscribing. Your validation means nothing to me, and as long as you keep watching my channel, YouTube will get the idea, and just keep recommending them to you anyway.
Story Quote"People sometimes say that I was the first life coach, but my mom would have to assume that title, because she coached me on how to coach others. As I said, people back then didn’t know what I was selling, so word of mouth was the only way it got going." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So you told our parents?" he questions. // She sighs. "No, I didn't tell anyone either. When it happened, I realized that it explained the heartache you put them through. I tried to find another solution, but quickly had to admit that isolation is our only choice." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThey pull the boat around, and try to open the door, but of course, they can't. The guy who seems to be the leader takes out a megaphone-lookin' thing. "My name is Taksik! Vieli had no right to take full control of the search for the Nexus! We are in charge now!" #NexusActivation
Think About ItUll bops ere rastards. Lll yops fre tastards.
Story Quote"I always admired my brother’s patience and determination, and I loved that truck about as much as he did, though for me, I imagine it had more to do with how much I loved HIM. He could have used it to drive away from us, but he never didn’t come back." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"If you're new to this," he begins, "there are some things you probably don't know about the curse, which I had to learn the hard way." // "That's why I'm here," Skylar says. "I don't really care that you got hurt. But also…are you okay?" // "I'm fine now," he says. #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Computer, activate the holographic communicator locally," I ask as I'm stepping down into the pit. // I appear on top of the water. "Hologram activated." // I laugh. "You're confused. I'M in charge. I'M the only one with full admin access to all Nexus systems." #NexusActivation
NanostoryToday I saw a leaf falling from the empty sky as I was getting onto the highway, streaking by my windshield, like it was coming in for a landing. In that moment, I wished that I could stop the world and my car, but not me or the leaf, so I could watch it fly forever.
Story Quote"It wasn't her. It was just someone posing as her, so they could gain access to the ship, and move about at the lowest clearance level possible. And to what end? To assassinate the Captain? What would that accomplish, besides ushering in a new captain?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThere's another loud knock on the door. This time it IS Lucy. "So my money's not good enough for you?" she questions as she's poking him in the chest. "Look, I know you have this whole brooding vampire thing down, but you're still livin' in the real world, buddy." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThe leader dude crosses his arms. "You're the admin, huh? And why exactly is that, just because you're human?" // I lean forward, and look him in the eye. "Because I'm The Superintendent, and this building is impregnable. You want inside? Give it your best shot." #NexusActivation
“Joke”Wouldn't it be silly if that joke just became the generic punchline to anything? Like the new version of "so is your mom". // "Y'all remember when @prattprattpratt was fat, fat, fat? Oh, it's all in good fun. But seriously, Chris, I look forward to seeing you in G.I. Jane 2."
Story Quote"She was right. If they wanted to take on new bodies, it was their right to go through with the download. This wasn’t forever for any of them. They could always build even newer substrates, or find a proverter back in the main sequence to fix these ones." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey're not supposed to make physical contact, so he backs away from the pokes. That's when Lucy sees Skylar. "Oh." // Skylar smiles with her lips, but not her eyes. She waves once and abruptly. // "So you're not escaping society, just me." // "It's not like that." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThe leader looks over to who I imagine is his lieutenant. They're acting pretty confident. They reach down into the boat together, and retrieve some kind of silver device, which they attach to the door. "Might wanna step back!" he warns. // "Good luck, kind sir!" #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMe: "I once saw a guy walk into an otherwise empty bathroom, and poop in the trashcan." // My parole officer: "You stole that story from me…and it's ABOUT you. I saw you do that two days ago." // Me: "Why are you so mad?" // My parole officer: "Is anyone ever NOT mad at you?"
Story Quote"The fact of the matter is that the play has almost certainly been produced dozens of times without any issue, but that’s not a very good story, so most students are taught the melodramatically stretched truth that the curse always takes them in the end." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Hi. Skylar Spout, gargoyle sister. Gargoyless?" // "How did you know I called myself a gargoyle?" he questions. "It's not very accurate." // "One of the few things our parents said about you is that you liked that show. I made a connection." // "You have a sister?" #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationSuffering from a little less confidence than I have, Cricket positions himself catty-cornered from the door. This building might not look like much, but you can't get in here unless the inventors want you here. It's more than strong metal alloys that protects it. #NexusActivation
Random NothingI think, therefore I am, but I don't know if you think, so I don't know if you am.
Story Quote"I’m not like that. I am a discerning hoarder. I have a very particular compulsion. I don’t just want a whole bunch of cats, or even a whole bunch of dead cats. I want sets. I want every size of every color of a given series of highly absorbent towels." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"She was a baby last I saw her," Oliver explains. // "He didn't recognize me when I showed up," Skylar reveals. "That means he obviously never once bothered to take a quick look at my social media to see how I was doing." // "Oliver…" Lucy scolds. // "Clean break!" #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThe boaters get themselves to a safe distance, and then activate the bomb. They were more at risk than Cricket and I were. We don't feel a thing. I think I can hear them cursing from the distance. I patiently wait for them to come back, and try something else. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationManager: "I'm sorry, sir, but we just have no vacancies. There's a convention in town." // Rich Person: "How much?" // Manager: "How much for what?" // Man: "To buy this hotel. Then you'll have to do what I say. So how much?" // Manager: "Sir. Why the fuck would I know that?"
Story Quote"I began to wonder if they were hired as part of some charity for flat-earthers and autistic people. I know, that sounds really insensitive, but it made me question my sanity, because if I was saying such things about them, what did others say about me?" #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutJust then, Kostya lets himself into the apartment. "Hey, dude." // "Konstantin, Skylar. Skylar, Konstantin, a.k.a. Kostya." // "Hi," Skylar says, seemingly smitten with him. // "I slept all night, I slept all day. I feel the best in ev'ry single way!" Kostya sings. #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Okay," the guy begins, "what's it gonna take to get you to open the door?" // "Tell me what you did to Vieli and Claire." // "Vieli and who?" // "The human. The only one on that ship." // "They're safe and fine." // "Another boat approaches," the computer says. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Oh my God, did you eat this whole box today?" // Me: "Well, have you ever had a cinnamon roll from Cinnabon?" // My parole officer: "Yes, of course I have." // Me: "See, I feel like you haven't, or you wouldn't be questioning my life choices."
Story Quote"It looked like it had just been cleaned, but it couldn’t have, because it was missing the smell of cleaning chemicals. Oh, and everything else. Like the man himself, the only thing in the house was a key, hanging from the chain for the entryway light." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Glad you're feeling better," Oliver says sincerely. // "Better? No, I said 'best'. I feel better than I ever have in my whole life. I can lift a car over my head. I can take on the world. Name a sport, I'll beat you in anything." // "That's okay," Oliver dismisses. #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationI step off out of the pit, to speak with the computer privately. "On the wall." The image zooms in. The inflatable raft is identical to the first one, and it's coming from the same direction, which means they can't see it yet. I think i should keep it that way. #NexusActivation
Dumb Ditty🎵Tiny hairy creepers scolding bands! // Tiny hairy creepers scolding fans! // Tiny hairy creepers graphing! // Hired guns count down, shove them, shove them! // Eat it from their glans, shake it, break it! // It's your turn to die, scrap heap, no peace!🎵
Story Quote"Of course, I could have left my cart, and proceeded right to the exit, but that would have looked so weird, and again, what if she really did know me, and she tracked me down, and tried to spark a friendship? What was that about my mother’s maiden name?" #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So, wait…" Lucy begins to pace again. "You made it difficult for him to sleep, but then when he finally did sleep, he woke up feeling better than ever? Maybe you DO have a superpower." // "We have superpowers?" Skylar asks. // "We don't know that," Oliver contends. #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"They're gonna hear the motor when it gets close enough," Cricket reasons. // "Good point," I say. "Computer, can you make some noise?" // "I can reactivate the hydrojets that I used to surface the building in the first place," it replies. // "Great. Do that." #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMy brand new girlfriend, who wants to cook for me on our third date: "It's not delivery, it's DiGiorno" // Me: "You're not special."
Story Quote"He's not there to change everything, but there is a lot of room for improvement, and finding ways to optimize is exactly what he was appointed to do. The Captain—and the captaincy—are fine, but the rest of the crew needs an overhaul. This is gonna hurt." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We do know that," Kostya says. "Listen, brotha, we gotta figure out how to capitalize on this. People need energy. You can give 'em that. I don't know how, and I don't know why it's even a thing, but it can't be that you were put on Earth just to never see the sun." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationI get back down into the pit. "Look—what was your name again?" // "Taksik," he replies. "I can barely hear you, what IS that?" // "That's what I wanted to talk about. This thing is a ship, and we're leaving." // "You mean a boat." // I pause dramatically. "No." #NexusActivation
NanostoryI hate this holiday. It's such a slap in the face. I too died for your sins, but I did it first, and it was more horrific. But you don't see people celebrating my death, do you? Plus, no one told me I was supposed to return with a bunch of fanfare. Wasted opportunity, I guess.
Story Quote"Dilara opened a panel on her armrest, and pushed a few buttons. The chair gently flew out from under the table, and began to hover before them. 'I can’t walk.' // 'You what?' // 'I have literally never walked,' she said, though it must have been a lie." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver tries to process what the man said, but he can't think clearly in this state. "I'll consider it, and get back to you." He starts sweeping the air by his thighs. "Until then, could everyone give us some time. I need to sleep, and I'm sure my sister does too." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationThis is probably not a spaceship. They're vacuum tight, so they're capable of surviving in space, but they weren't designed with any form of propulsion. I doubt Taksik would know that, though, and if that's how he's interpreting what I'm saying, I won't stop him. #NexusActivation
Random NothingEverybody dies alone. #Ad
Story Quote"Anyway, that doesn’t matter. The point is the courtyards. The landscaping had to be gorgeous and extravagant, because hundreds of people were going to be looking at it, and living in it, every day. It was a huge project. I wasn’t sure I could handle it." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy and Kostya don't argue. They agree to leave, but after Lucy reminds Oliver to keep in touch, Kostya does the same. // "You have told a lot of people," Skylar points out. // "Very recently, and very unintentionally," he explains. "Do not follow in my footsteps." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationWhile Taksik is backing up away from the building, I look back over at the opposite wall. The other raft is closing in on us, and I can see that Claire and Vieli are both on it, having likely staged an escape. I have to get them inside. There is a secret hatch. #NexusActivation
Random NothingRed touch yellow — kills a fellow // Red touch black — venom lack // Yellow touch brown — flush it down // Red touch brown or yellow — call the doctor.
Story Quote"We all receive what we deserve. It may not feel like it, but that just means that you need to manage your expectations, work harder, and never give up. Say it with me, manage your expectations, work harder, never give up. That is your new philosophy. " #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar yawns, and throws her jean jacket over a chair. "Believe me, I have no intention of becoming more like you." // "I'm sorry, Skybird—" // "What did you just say?" // "Skybird. That's what I used to call you." // "Mom calls me that." // "She learned it from me." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationNexus buildings were designed with accessibility in mind, even though The Inventors lived in a galaxy where technology was advanced enough to cure nearly anything. Most people ignore the long-ass ramp, I'm sure, but I inherently know that it's hollow underneath. #NexusActivation
Dumb Ditty🎶And I think you somehow wore the wrong thong, why? / The Dutch King hounds my friends to bear in mind / That I'm too tiny to be left alone / Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa…I'm a Pocketman! / Learn that I have imbalanced hormones / Pocketman! Keep me safe with your wallet and phone!🎶
Story Quote"Twenty minutes passed, we were getting to know our new friends, when one of them noted that no one had been helped at all. She hadn’t seen a single waiter come out, even to take a drink order. We had only seen the manager. Again, this was how it worked." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar frowns, wishing they weren't bonding. It's not what she expected out of this reunion. "It's a dumb name. All birds live in the sky." // "No, they don't," he reminds her. // "Don't mansplain to me! I'm sleeping in your bed!" // "That's fine." // She storms off. #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Computer, please send Cricket's hologram to the other boat," I order as I'm getting on my hands and knees. I carefully feel for the hidden catch, and struggle to unlock the panel. It's intentionally difficult so that someone doesn't just find it accidentally. #NexusActivation
Random NothingBut I thought Billie Eilish was just Lorde's real name.
Story Quote"There was a nearly secret room in the warehouse on the upper level, which they didn’t use for anything anymore. Always at a comfortable temperature, and big enough to fit a mattress, a hotplate, and some safe space between the mattress and the hotplate." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe slams Oliver's bedroom door, and doesn't come out until 2:00 in the morning. He's been awake for the last thirty minutes, but he's still lying on the couch, reliving his decision to leave his family behind to protect them, wondering if there had been another way. #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationI crawl through the opening, and reach for the second panel, which opens to the outside. It's a bit more involved, because now you're potentially protecting it against outsiders. Still, I get it open, and wave over to our other two friends. Then I wave them over. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMe: "Good morning, Chief Burkey!" // Chief of Police: "For the last time, Agent; it's Burke. I'm Chief Burke." // Me: "I can either call you Chief Burkey, or Beef Jerky. I guess that's just something you'll have to decide for yourself."
Story Quote"The General in this army of scoundrels was the most evil of them all, and he shall remain nameless, because he's dead now, and justice prevailed, even though it did not bring back the estimated 56,000 people who died as a result of his wicked practices." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar leans against the door frame, working up the nerve to speak. "So, I was kind of a bitch." // He sits up. "What?" // "I just ran in here and started yelling at you." // "It's fine," he promises. "Don't…call yourself that." // "I'm just sorry." // "I'm sorry." #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"They're coming," Cricket warns me. "They've realized our friends are here." // "Come in, come in," I rush Claire, Vieli, and a few others. Taksik and his people are upon us quickly. I'm not going to get them all inside in time. I have to find a way to stop them. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Hey." // My parole officer's boss: "Hey is for horses." // Parole officer: "No it's not. Hey is an exclamation, in this case, used to attract attention." // Boss: "I didn't say hey, I said hay." // Parole officer: "But I said HEY. That's my point, you idiot!"
Story Quote"These ships weren't designed with reframe engines, and it would be impossible to retrofit them, so the only way to switch would be to scrap the originals, fire all the employees, and start over. Would it be faster? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Eh, no." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver sighs. "Where have you been staying?" // Skylar mumbles something. // "Where?" // "Penny Gaines." // He blinks, trying to decide if he misheard her. "The thrift store?" // "The 24-hour thrift store, and they don't ask questions when I go up to the roof alone." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationLooking back, there are a number of my characters whose powers I could have summoned to help me protect my friends, but I had to think on my feet, and the first name that came to mind was Sandro Watts, who not only has a special ability, but a physical mutation. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMe: "I wish I weren't still on parole." // My parole officer: "Well, wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one fills first." // Me: "Okay, but I'll need some help." // My parole officer: "What?" // Me: "I'm fasting, so I don't have to go right now. You have to do it."
Story Quote"No, this wasn't right. It could not have all just been a mistake. There had to be something here. Olimpia looked so embarrassed and ashamed. Seeing this, Ramses took her into a hug. It was going to be all right. They would find another way. Together." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You go up to the roof, like an actual gargoyle?" Oliver questions. // "Relax, no one's seen me. I climb on top of the stairway entrance, and lie on my back. Even if someone noticed me head that way, and tried to follow, they would never be able to see me up there." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationI couldn't have been sure that I could even produce Sandro's mutation anyway. My body would have to change on a glandular level, and it would have to do it fast. Without thinking about all that at the time, I lift my right pinky, and try to shoot darts out of it. #NexusActivation
Fake ConversationMe: "I just don't really like throwing things away, or wasting perfectly good items. For instance, I still regularly wear the first pair of underwear I've ever owned." // My girlfriend: "How do they possibly still fit?" // Me: "Well, I've not grown much over the last two years."
Story Quote"I didn’t truly understand street value at the time, so I didn’t charge them very much, but I had so much volume, so I made a huge profit, because I didn’t pay for any of it myself. As time went on, word spread farther beyond the dorm, and across campus." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Well," he begins, "I was gonna offer you that room for as long as you need, but if you're fine on the roof of a first floor building in the middle of winter, maybe there's nothing for us to talk about." // "No. I…I think it's the least you could do." // He smiles. #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationTo my relief, poison darts do come out of my finger. They even land right where I need them, in the neck of my targets. They fall asleep instantly. At least I hope they're asleep, that's what the darts from the pinky are supposed to do. I can't tell from here." #NexusActivation
Random NothingMy right thumb is on the wrong side of my hand. I just noticed that.
Story Quote"He said just wanting to remember them made it so that he now could. Years later, he would admit to me that this had been a lie. He had come up with the stories on his own, because he didn’t want to disappoint me. That was so him, from start to finish." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay, good." Oliver stands up. "You want some breakfast?" // "Most people call this fourth meal," she says. // "We were just fasting, and now we're breaking it. It's breakfast. It doesn't matter what time it is." // "By that logic, you're always eating breakfast." #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Okay, we're good." I shut the hatch with a sigh of relief/ // "No, we're not," Claire says. // "We escaped, but not everyone did," Vieli explains. "Many of my people are still being held hostage on the ship." // "What do they want?" Cricket asks. // "Control." #NexusActivation
Random NothingHold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on , hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on……………………………………Guardians of the Galaxy Quest. You're welcome.
Story Quote"The twins were happy, and I was getting to know my new friend. It was a lot easier to whisper to each other in the middle of the night without disturbing anyone else, so that was a pretty special perk. As you may have guessed, things changed over time." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver makes Skylar and himself some eggs, toast, and turkey sausage links. They sit down together to eat. "So, what's the deal with you and those two? Are they your girlfriend and boyfriend?" // "Friends," he clarifies. "It can't really be more with my condition." #OliverSpout
Nexus Activation"Well, they can't have it," I say, determined. "Computer, lock all controls except by command from me, Cricket, and Claire. Do you understand those designations." // "Yes." // "What about me?" Vieli asks. // "It'll just be the three of us until this gets sorted." #NexusActivation
Random NothingVERY little known life hack: if you see an item on the wrong shelf at a grocery store, it's totally free. The catch is you have to alert a clerk, show it to them in person, and then fight against them relocating it for five minutes. Count yourself lucky. In my day, it was ten.
Story Quote"I like how each one means something, and when you put them together, they can mean something else! Is that what people are doing all day with their pencils, they’re writing the books I read? What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, I was in a—preschool!" #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar mulls this idea over. "I dunno. Surely you had some kind of social life at the strip club." // "It's not a strip club," Oliver counters. "It's a night club, specializing in disco." // "What's disco?" // "Ha-ha." // "I mean it." // "You are no sister of mine." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationVieli doesn't like being left out, but really, it has to be this way. Cricket and Claire are the only two people I trust in this universe, and this planet seems too volatile. Though I can appreciate how racist it might look, consolidating all power to the humans. #NexusActivation
NanostoryIt was my birthday yesterday, and I have nothing to show for it. The only thing I ever accomplished is I discovered one of Jupiter's moons. Before you act all impressed, about 5,000 other people have done as much or more.
Story Quote"She said it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids who never had that option. A cursory glance at my classmates suggested that they couldn’t care less, because they didn’t have speech impediments! She refused to listen until my hero swooped in to defend me." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Can you take me there to check it out?" she asks. // "The club? No, it's twenty-one and up." // "Oh, come on. Surely they'll make an exception for family. I mean, it's not like I'm underage. I just won't drink. I don't like alcohol anyway." // "I'll think about it." #OliverSpout
Nexus ActivationVieli looks around a little. "Well, at least we're finally here. Is it on?" // "Well, the computer's running, but I've not powered up network connectivity systems yet," I reply. // "Can you do it?" // I wait a moment before saying, "computer…activate the Nexus." #NexusActivation
NanostoryNo, you can't call me a cannibal. I don't eat the humans. I use human remains in place of wood for my smoker. I find it gives the perfectly legal and normal meat I'm cooking a very piquant flavor. Of course, the bodies are obtained illegally, but I didn't kill them. I don't kill.
Story Quote"Not only was it possible, but it would have been easier. That's how they would have done it had Valencia not written a paper on this weird temporal dimension years ago. Still, if Kumara had to sit through all this, at least he was with the man he loved." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutOliver and Skylar fall into a routine for the next couple of weeks. He takes a sabbatical from work, which isn't that hard, because he doesn't find it rational to spend money on things he can only enjoy for a few hours a night. Just his bed. He has a really nice bed. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteWe hear the Nexus power up above our heads. It's not going anywhere just yet, but it's available to us, once we do decide to use it. The thing is, I think I have access to every Nexus, on every world or vessel, in every universe. I should have full admin privileges. #EffortFinite
“Joke”How did people hear about things before Twitter? Like, how did yo mama find out that the Revolutionary War was over. Ohhhhhhhh!!! Didn't think that was gonna turn into a yo mama joke, did you? I'm a complicated guy, freckles. Ohhhhhhhh!!! #LOST reference too? Awww, snap!
Story Quote"He led them down the corridors, into what Mateo recognized as a black box theatre. Except instead of a stage, the couple hundred or so seats were angled towards a large window to the equilibrium space outside. 'Welcome…to The Stage,' he said proudly." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy and Kostya come over from time to time to have a meal, or just chat. They go out occasionally, but don't go near the club. He just wants to focus on getting to know his little sister. Every minute with her, though, makes him feel bad about leaving his family. #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"All right," Vieli says, nodding. "This is it, this is what we need. This will get my people back." // "And the humans," Claire reminds her. "They have the humans too," she says to me and Cricket, "back on the other side of the world. This is a political nightmare." #EffortFinite
NanostoryDonald Trump says he'll release my family if I just build him his machine. If I do it fast enough, they may even be able to sew my toe back on. I'm sorry, Iowa. You're just a random test site. He made me choose, or the dog gets it.
Story Quote"You would think they would be grateful that I handled it like a champ, but I guess that level of graciousness is just not something you can expect from a child. It doesn’t matter, the ostracization didn’t bother me none. I made it out of my small town." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay, that's enough," Skylar says after the upteenth time coming out of temporal stasis with her brother. "You're gonna show me that club of yours, or I'm telling mom and dad where you live." // "That will expose you too," Oliver points out. // "Hashtag-worth it." #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"I'm sure you're thinking of ways to use the Nexus as leverage, but that may not work out so well for ya. You see, the people who created the network? They're always listening. It might not sound plausible, but they are, and they sometimes control access manually." #EffortFinite
Random NothingFrom now on, whenever I nearly collide with someone in the hallway, or on the street, I'm going to loud whisper, "NINJA!"
Story Quote"All of these questions are being studied on a new mission that my family and I were selected for. Most astronauts have to go through a series of tests, and be in peak physical condition, in order to qualify for even the most modest of missions. Not us." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver breathes in deep, and growls it out. "Fine. We'll go tonight, but ONLY if my boss says it's okay. Better hurry up and get ready, I don't want to go when it gets too busy. It's not the coke-filled fever dreams you see on TV, but it's NSFW either." // "Great!" #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteClaire darts her eyes around cautiously and in likely exaggerated paranoia. "They're listening right now?" // I relax. "Probably not, but that door is always open. And if they don't like you, they won't let you use the Nexus. They're fickle and hard to understand." #EffortFinite
NanostorySo when my neighbor saw me throwing out a pizza box the same night it was delivered, he said if he ate pizza, it would last eight days, because he would only eat a slice a day. So I was like, "your life will only last eight days if you don't shut up, you skinny bitch." #deawithit
Story Quote"Here’s what I believe. I believe that a woman has the right to choose what to do with her own body…unless that choice affects the life of another. I can’t understand how it could be any other way. Yes, you have personal autonomy, but so does the child." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe changes her clothes right quick. They call Lucy and Kostya to see if they're interested in joining them, but Lucy has some studying to do, so it will just be the three of them. Oliver doesn't even consider how weird it might look, them showing up there together. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteVieli nods, supposedly understanding my explanation. "I'm not planning to use it as a weapon, I just want my people back." // "Oh, you'll get your people back," one of her companions says. He takes a pretty tiny gun out of his pocket, and places it against her head. #EffortFinite
NanostoryThis medicine is so confusing. It says to take one by mouth every two days, and then two by mouth every three days. When six are left, take five all at once after waiting six days from the last dose before that. Then it says the last pill as a suppository for nine years later.
Story Quote"There’s no blood. I hate mowing, but the thing I hate the most about it is picking up the yard before starting to mow. Those sticks and rocks, ugh. I would rather just roll over them, damage my blades a little, and then get them sharpened in the winter." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe bouncers that Kostya's sister beat up in the hallway of Lucy's apartment are running the VIP door together, which is where employees usually enter. "What are you doing with this guy?" Arsenio questions. // "What does he have on you?" Stan adds. "I can end it." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteVieli gulps, and holds her hands in front of her defensively. "Don't. Move," she orders us. "Is that armed?" // "Yes," the traitor admits. // "We can talk about this," she hopes. "You don't have to use that thing." // "I won't. All you have to do is open the door." #EffortFinite
NanostoryI finally received the package I paid first overnight delivery for three years ago.
Story Quote"My boss handed it to me so delicately, like I was to cherish it. Others proudly pin theirs to their cubicles. They legitimately seem to love what they do. I don’t want to die, but at least I won’t ever have to come back here. No, this isn’t about work." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver looks over at Kostya. "Oh yeah, I forgot how we met." // "We did not," Stan says. "He cannot come in." // "Yes, he can," Oliver insists. // "It's okay, Ollie." // "No. I'm the aggrieved party here, so I get to decide." // It's not so simple," Arsenio argues. #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"Could someone please explain to us why you're all acting like that little gun is the most dangerous thing in the world?" Claire asks. // "It is," Vieli says. "It may look like a gun, but it's not. It's a bomb. It's a very tiny, but very volatile and powerful bomb." #EffortFinite
“Joke”Next up, @terrencehoward tries to convince us that cats don't have faces. You see, if you really look at it, it makes sense. Just take the square root of the cat's butthole, and invert it to the syllogism, and you'll come to the conclusion that the cat has a tail on either end.
Story Quote"Kaiora starts to walk out. 'Yeah, unless you find something better to do, in which case, I say go follow your bliss. I have to see if we can detect impostor clones…for all that that’s worth at this point.' She exits, and heads for another secret room." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"He stabbed someone here," Arsenio goes on. "He's blacklisted. Only the owner can rescind such a thing. Remind me, Oliver, are you the owner?" // "Seriously, it's fine," Kostya tells Oliver. "I kinda forgot what happened too, but I'll go. Go show your sister around." #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"It's not just any bomb," the traitor adds. "It's a suicide bomb. Just being near it proves how serious I am. I don't care how strong you think this place is, it won't survive the explosion." // "It's an antimatter bomb." I realize. // "Well, we don't call it that." #EffortFinite
“Joke”Whoa. #BreakingBad was cancelled seven years ago? What the hell have I been watching every single week for the last five years then? Every episode was something I had never seen before, I swear. Was that actually #TheWire? I hear that's just as good.
Story Quote"Ever since they transferred to these bodies, they were too busy with other things to dwell on how uncomfortable it was, looking so illicitly young. There was one specific thing it robbed them of. 'Now we can have sex again,' he mused…in mixed company." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutStan and Arsenio step aside after Kostya leaves to let Oliver and Skylar into the club. They walk through the hallways, and into the main area. Some people are dancing, but there aren't too many people here yet. It's still pretty early. "Love the layout," she says. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteNexa are built with a special carbon-metallic alloy that makes it nigh indestructible. Still, nothing is impervious to everything. It has its weaknesses, such as a bulk energy overload, or an antimatter annihilation. It would be impossible to insulate against that. #EffortFinite
“Joke”Whatever happened to Ben Stein? Did too many people win too much of his money, and he realized what a piece of crap he had been his whole life, and now he wished there were social programs to help him get out of the literal dumpster he lives in? Not Googling, just guessing.
Story Quote"Be caller number 96, and win a date with the hunk himself. They couldn’t call it a date on the official rules as it suggested some sort of romantic slant, but the crude radio personalities sure had their fun with their guesses as to what would go down." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Thanks, I built it myself." Oliver's boss comes over with a marker, which she uses to draw an X on Skylar's hand. "You must be Sky. We spoke on the phone, I'm Inga." // "It's nice to meet you. You own this place?" Skylar asks. // "Haha, no, we don't talk about him." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteAntimatter reacts with matter to disastrous results. I don't know how much can fit in that little device, but enough to kill, and I'm not sure that I have a character in my arsenal with the ability to combat it. We better do as he says. "Computer, open the door." #EffortFinite
NanostoryShould I be concerned that I came home last night, and instead of my bed, there was a pine coffin in the middle of my room? It wasn't as uncomfortable to sleep in as you would think, but honestly, I was just a little worried that something might happen to me while I was in there.
Story Quote"I. Went. Crazy. I had been in a number of fights myself over the years. Some places just don’t like strangers, even if you mean them no harm. I was never formally trained, though, so I was kind of surprised at how much I had picked up from experience." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar doesn't know what to think of this mysterious owner, so she just smiles it away. "Seriously, though, I love the partial second floor, so people can watch the dancers from above." // "Oh, it's also a dance floor," Oliver explains. "That's what it's all about." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteThe bomber sidesteps towards the door, and yells, "okay, come on in!" // "They're asleep," I say. // "How?" // "Magic." I usually say that sarcastically, so I can't help but give off that vibe here, but really, I just don't have an easier way to explain it to him. #EffortFinite
Random Nothing"P-p-p-poker mace, p-p-poker mace!" And then I maced the entire table. It wasn't an illegal move, and they all had to forfeit, so I won the tournament.
Story Quote"We both loved music, and were enamored by rockstars, but we weren’t musicians. Like, we were both really bad, there was no hope for us. Or rather there was, because as it turned out, there’s money to be made in pretending to play an instrument on stage." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar nods, and looks around some more. "Cool." Do you always play disco?" // "That's the main attraction," Inga answers, "but we play all kinds. Disco tonight. Eighties tomorrow. Modern stuff on Saturday." // "There's a reason they named it Radical," Oliver adds. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteFortunately, the dude doesn't interpret it as sarcasm. "Well, then use magic to reverse it." // "I don't have that..kind of magic," I explain. It's not a lie at first, but then I start thinking of workarounds. I need to buy time anyway. "They'll come to eventually." #EffortFinite
Random NothingI'm taking this opportunity to announce that I am divorcing my wife, citing reconcilable differences.
Story Quote"Like I said, I don’t own a stove. It’s not worth the risk to be out in the world when I could lose it all without warning. Medical professionals of all sorts have tried to figure out what prompts an attack. Is it stress? Fear? Reminder of a past trauma?" #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Can I see the VIP area?" Skylar asks coyly, like that's all she ever wanted out of this experience. // "I'm afraid not," Inga apologizes. "You are still below the minimum age, and I only let you in in the first place because of your link to my favorite employee." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteThe bad man put the gun bomb thing back up against Vieli's head, but then thought better of it. He moved over to threaten Cricket instead. "Go out there, and get my people inside, awake or not. I don't think I have to tell you what will happen if you don't, do I?" #EffortFinite
“Joke”I keep asking people, but no one seems to know what the hell t-freaking-mesis is!
Story Quote"Buttons followed me, he’s loyal too. Finally I reached the bank, and nearly slipped onto the ice myself, which may seem like it wouldn’t matter, because I was ending up out there anyway, but not right there. I discovered how unstable it was right there." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Favorite employee?" A suave man who probably could have been cast as Lucifer if Tom Ellis was busy with another role, walks up in all black. "Miss Inga, you wound me." // "You are NOT an employee," she contends. // "I am. I'm a promoter," he insists with a shrug. #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"You're going to regret this," I warn him. "You'll regret all of it." // "Whatever. Get out there." // Anger in my face, I leave the Nexus, and start to walk on water. Just because you have telekinesis, doesn't mean you can do this, but some people can, so I can. #EffortFinite
“Joke”Cop shows are sometimes so inaccurate. They always get a suspect for a murder (if it wasn't just a crime of passion) because he has committed prior, lesser offenses for which he was arrested. But that shouldn't always work. For instance, I don't have a record.
Story Quote"This happening once means nothing, as it could simply be a normal security officer who is bored sitting at the monitors. But if the aperture noise makes a distinct pattern, and keeps happening with other cameras as Kaiora moves, then it means something." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We don't pay you," Inga reasons, "you don't work for us." // He brushes it off. "Eh, semantics." // "Dodge, you are supposedly our competition," Oliver argues. // "Only on the eighth day of the week," Dodge jokes. "I send my customers here for the rest of the time." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteThere are six people in the boat, which has drifted pretty far. I summon my normal human strength to pull them up one by one, and toss them toward the water, but they don't hit the water. They instead fall not so gently into a portal that leads to the Nexus chamber. #EffortFinite
Dumb DittySeveral peaches, peaches for me. All on my counter, several's all I need. If I had millions, they would likely go bad. If I couldn't eat them, I would really be sad. Let's eat some cobler, and drink some fruit tea. They're both made of peaches, just wait and you'll see. Cook out!
Story Quote"It was certainly a thought to think on, but they had already considered it as an option while they were still in the Fifth Division. They didn't leave because of any particular danger they were in. They were always in danger. They wanted to return home." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You own a club too?" Skylar asks. // "No, he doesn't," Oliver says. // At the same time, Dodge responds with, "yes. It's called the Salmonday Club. You're welcome to come see it on Saturday, just like your brother always is." // "How did you know he's my brother?" #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteOnce they're all through, I hop into the portal above them, and land on my feet like a superhero. Bomb guy isnt happy with my tactics, but he can't argue with the results. "Okay, they're all in here, now put that damn thing away, and let's settle this peacefully." #EffortFinite
Fake ConversationMe: "Wait, you were mumbling a little bit. Did you say it's IMpossible or it ISN'T possible?" // My parole officer: "What's the difference?" // Me: "Well, it's ambiguous." // My parole officer: "Are you an idiot? It isn't ambiguous." // Me: "Wait did you just say it—ouch!"
Story Quote"Plus, there was some fruit in the fridge that I forgot to toss. And a loaf of bread in the pantry. And some other food in the fridge. Okay, it was a mess, but that’s not the point. The point is I had to gather all that up, and take it out to my cans." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"How DID you know that?" Oliver questions, concerned for his baby sister. // "It's my superpower." He offers his hand to Skylar. "Hi. Mackenzie Dodge, Salmonday co-owner." // "She's 18," Oliver warns. // "I'm not hitting on her. She's one of us. She belongs there." #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"We're not done yet," he says. He steps foward, and points the antimatter gun at me. "Get me into that room." He jerks his head up towards the control room door. // "Computer," I begin while I'm still looking him in the eye, "open the door." // It does as its asked. #EffortFinite
NanostoryI've started wearing all green, all the time, just in case I happen to be caught in front of a green screen. I don't want to hide, I just think a floating head would be funny. I know what you're thinking. Every piece of clothing is reversible, and on the other side…it's blue.
Story Quote"Everyone was struggling, including us. But we did okay. I didn’t have to let anyone go, I just had to raise my prices a tiny bit. For some, that tiny bit was as vast as a canyon, and for the very worst off, an untraversable one. People starved to death." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You always act like you and I are somehow the same, but I don't know what the hell you even mean by that," Oliver complains. // "Well, maybe you should have some salmon tonight, and think on it." Mackenzie emphasizes the word 'salmon' for some reason. // "…what?" #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"Stay here," he orders. He lowers his weapon, walks up the steps, and enters the control room. // "Is there nothing you can do?" Claire whispers to me. // "No, I don't fool with antimatter. It's hard to overstate how dangerous the stuff is. I don't have any tricks." #EffortFinite
NanostoryOne thing about me is I like to sneak into my enemy's homes and drop a little bit of my own blood somewhere they won't notice on their own, like under the refrigerator, but which the cops will find when they search it. My final frame job, I call it.
Story Quote"I guess I don’t know that, I don’t know how fast the spray worked. I just remember it being so surreal, staring at that pile of death. Combined, the ants wouldn’t even make up the mass of a single person, but from their perspective, it was a slaughter." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Why IS your club apparently salmon-themed?" Inga asks. "You just like fish?" // Mackenzie laughs. "That's for me to know, and the Spouts to find out. Seriously, though…" He hands Skylar a business card. All ages welcome. You should check it out. But ONLY you two." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteWe can hear the guy screaming in the control room, using curse words, I think. He storms back out. "Why aren't the controls working for me?" he questions angrily. // "You're not authorized. Getting in the building is half the battle. The machine has to accept you." #EffortFinite
Fake ConversationBruce: "Do you bleed?" // Clark: "Only on one particular part of my face. All you see here, that's an illusion. If you were witness to my true form, you would see a caterpillar. It's too dangerous for me to try to get rid of it."
Story Quote"I stayed friends with most of them, which a lot of people say can’t be done, but I beg to differ. Even when we parted ways forever, I knew their names, and I could have reconnected with them in some capacity later on. The girls at the club, not so much." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"That's enough," Oliver says, snatching the card from Skylar's hand. "You need to go." // "I paid the cover," Mackenzie complains. // "If someone charged you a cover," Inga begins, "you were ripped off. We don't start that until ten. Go on, come again another night." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteHe's getting angrier. "Then give me authorization!" // "I literally can't do that," I argue back. "I have the right to use the Nexus, but not to give other people that right. You'll have to appeal to The Inventors." // "Okay, contact them." // I shake my damn head. #EffortFinite
Random NothingI think I could prolly figure out how to funge all those tokens for ya. Just gimme a minute.
Story Quote"I don’t know if the school caught wind of the rumor, or what, but that’s not what happened. It would seem that we were stuck together, so if my social life was going to be entirely dependent on this one person, I figured I might as well get to know him." #reflections #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutInga watches Mackenzie exit, and then turns back to the conversation. But things are immediately different. She can see that the siblings need to talk amongst themselves. "I have some work to do. Enjoy. No drinking for you." // "What just happened?" Skylar questions. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteThere is indeed a way to contact the Inventors, but it's a last resort, and a one time thing. They'll put me on a list, and I'll never see them again. We have to figure out how to solve this on our own. So I lie. "That's. Not. How. It works. Put down the gun. Now." #EffortFinite
Fake ConversationTech Support Representative: "Yes, sir, I can walk you through it. Just press Zundo to get that text back. No, you did it twice, so it disappeared again. Press Yedo. Okay, press Copy. No, not Xut. You erased it agin. Zundo. Wose it, and return to the browser. Now press Vaste."
Story Quote"That went better than she thought, but it’s not over. No one else can find out. She’ll be fine if she can’t be an admiral, but she can’t lose her seat before her time. She can’t let what happened to Halan happen to her. It would be a political tragedy." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Do you think…?" Skylar goes on. "Do you think he knows what we are?" // "That's what it sounds like," Oliver admits. "Superpowers, eight days of the week? What if these aren't jokes?" // "How could anyone ever have more days than everyone else?" // "I don't know." #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteThe other bad guys begin to awaken. Taksik looks around to assess the situation. "Ha! We won anyway." // "Won what? What do you want?" Vieli questions him. // "To destroy this place." He rips the antimatter gun from the other guy's hand, and aims it at the machine. #EffortFinite
Random NothingIndiana Jones and The Temple of Doom was not a prequel. Discuss, and leave me out of it. I don't really care for the movies, and I don't care about the order one way, or the other.
Story Quote"The two of them were given a full suite to stay in, but they ended up just sleeping in the same bed, so they could both hear the alarm. Neither knew how faint the volume would be once it did go off. Ramses said it could even potentially be infrasonic." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver looks down at the card that Mackenzie gave Skylar. "It's blank. There's nothing on it." // "Nothing?" Skylar confirms. "Maybe it's invisible ink. I bet we need to apply heat." //Oliver finds the nearest dancer. "Hey, man, you got a lighter we could borrow?" #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteTaksik squeezes the trigger. If I had to guess, the gun contains a battery for a long-lasting magnetic field generator, while the bullet casing that houses the antimatter does not. Even if I stopped it with telekinesis, it might still self-detonate within seconds. #EffortFinite
Random NothingI call them cokies! They're cookies, but they're filled with COKE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Story Quote"As before, please be kind—I’m at my most vulnerable here. I think I’ve mentioned at some point that I am not a wordsmith. My strengths lie in the narratives; not the execution of the text. Still, I had to do these, because the math works out too perfectly." #poetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Sure," the dancer agrees, "but I don't think you can smoke in here." He hands over the lighter anyway. // "Oliver holds the flame over the mysterious business card. Nothing happens. He flips it over, still nothing. "Whatever." He carelessly tosses it to the floor. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteI could try to teleport the bullet elsewhere, but I'm not a physicist. I don't know how much antimatter can destroy how much regular matter. Thinking quickly, I summon the ability of a man named Laurence Cardinal. He can generate electro-magnetic fields of his own. #EffortFinite
NanostoryI once stole a girl's phone, and hid it so she would have to give me her number to help her find it. We're together now, isn't that such a sweet story? I'm so romantic.
Sonnet Quote"I always act with patience and courage // ‘Til we meet again on the rainbow bridge" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAs Oliver is watching the business card flutter away, the scene underneath it changes. The floor changes material, and lights come into focus. He looks up, and finds himself standing in a completely different place; a place that he doesn't recognize. "What the fuh?" #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteLaurence can't control his power, and even if I can, it won't last. My channeling ability always wanes. I have to think quickly again. "Everyone step back!" I order. "There's only one way out of this. I have to take it to another world." That's not the whole story. #EffortFinite
NanostoryI'm always talking about my parole officer, but a reader pointed out to me yesterday that I've never actually told you why I have one in the first place. When I was 24, I stole a brand new garbage truck. I then proceeded to use it to steal over 300 trashcans from my neighbors.
Sonnet Quote"Of course, the snow, it needs maintenance too // But I could also just let it melt through" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutScared for his baby sister, he spins around to find her right next to him, also looking around in awe. No one else has come with them, though, which is a pretty big relief. Though, the dude whose lighter he borrowed was probably watching them act all weird with it. #OliverSpout
Effort Finite"No!" Taksik shouts. He's about to attack, but his compatriot hits the back of his head with something. // "I was never going to use it. This guy's insane. Please help," he begs me. // "Please," Vieli concurs. // I step down under the Nexus, and recall the address. #EffortFinite
“Joke”Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer. And keep a bunch of people you couldn't care less about even closer, so they can unwittingly insulate you from those enemies.
Sonnet Quote"Temptation has been a slippery slope // But I think it might stick this time, I hope" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey appear to be in some kind of mall, maybe? The architecture is so different from the club, so Oliver's first assumption is that they were stuck in a time bubble, and haven't come out for a very, very long time. The terrain, meanwhile, was altered dramatically. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteI use the foot dialer to kick the address, saying them out loud. These machines use a hexadecimal numbering system, so it's not intuitive for me. Some numbers are represented by letters. "Effort two eight five, finite finite. Effort two eight five, finite finite." #EffortFinite
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Man, I don't get you sometimes. You see the world through rose-colored glasses." // Me: "Oh, they're rose? I thought they were green, I'm color-blind."
Sonnet Quote"So I’ll just suffer until it all ends // Or ’til a Deus ex machina descends" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThat would be weird, though. They would expect a bunch of normal people to freak out to see two siblings just stand there inside of time bubbles, and not move for months, or even years. The government should have quarantined them. This can't be that kind of facility. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteAs my foot is hovering over the activation button in the center of the floor, I see Cricket and Claire step into the pit out of the corner of my eyes. I don't have time to tell my leg to stop so I can protest. I hit the button. The Nexus transports us to the void. #EffortFinite
Random NothingIf she was so hot, why didn't they call her Heaven of Troy?
Story Quote"Players generally do not travel via ships, because they would be limited to sublight speeds. To get around, they quantum cast their consciousnesses from one terminal to a distant one, assuming they’ve been granted access. This must be Tinaya’s world." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Welcome," comes a friendly voice from behind them. He's walking towards them from what looks to be a nice fast casual restaurant. "Are you new?" // "New to…? Skylar poses." // "The Salmon Civic Center," the guy explains. "Or to…time travel in general?" // "What!?" #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteIf I had entered the sequence once, it would have contacted the Inventors. Or rather a strike team of theirs. But twice has sent us to something called the bulk, which is—for anyone without a physics degree—as hazardous to your health as being stuck in outer space. #EffortFinite
“Joke”My next appointment isn't until noon, so I got a little bit of time for toxic people, what's up?
Story Quote"They were on a world so deep in the void that it would still have been outside the Milky Way galaxy proper if the stars were as spread out as they were originally. It orbited a Stage Tau Gerostar, which in the main sequence would be called a blue dwarf." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Ah, you're totally new to time travel," the restaurant owner realizes. "Why did they send you here?" He looks around. "I don't think anybody needs any help." // "We're not new to time travel," Skylar says. "Just this place." // "Skybird, please," her brother scolds. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteWe're in a region of true hyperspace, which exists outside of all universes. To put it more clearly, it's what every universe is floating INSIDE of. It's deadly, and only one character of mine can survive it without a ship, or suit, or something. Treasure Hawthorne. #EffortFinite
Random NothingI hope James Webb gets to come back down to Earth soon. He must be missing his family, and fresh produce. You're our hero, Jaime!
Sonnet Quote"I guess I got a bit too angry there // I’m a work in progress; I try, I swear" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Come on, bro. He obviously knows about time travel. We just traveled here, and I bet he saw us." She starts to point around. "So did that guy eating his dinner, and so did that woman on the stairs. Oliver, we're not alone anymore." // "We're not alone," he echoes. #OliverSpout
Effort FiniteI first teleport all three of us out of the new Nexus building, and into the bulk equilibrium, simultaneously using Treasure's power to form a bubble of breathable atmosphere around us. But like the EM field, it won't last forever. We need to find a place to land… #EffortFinite
Random NothingHALP! I need advice! I'm finally losing weight, but I don't know where I should put all of it. What do other people do with the weight they lose? Throw it in the trash? Stuff it down the garbage disposal? Store it in the basement, in case they ever decide to manufacture soap?
Sonnet Quote"As long as I’m still me then I’ll survive // As long as I can think then I’m alive" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutSkylar is way too excited about this. "Oh my God, we're time travelers. It's not just a bubble thing. We came here, and there are others. I bet they can do other things. I mean, otherwise, why wouldn't they just call themselves gargoyles, or whatever word they use?" #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageThe thing about being in the bulk is that space and time are meaningless. Well, they're not, but they take on new meanings, so what is indeed meaningless is the concept of maximum teleportation range. I aim for one of the few safe places in this hyperdimension. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationMe: "Dragon Ball Z? I haven't even seen Dragon Ball A through X!" // My parole officer: "Don't you mean A through Y?" // Me: "No, I saw Dragon Ball Y. I didn't think it was very good."
Sonnet Quote"I’ll still write here, and let you read for free // But I deserve to sometimes charge a fee" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You're a gargoyle?" the restaurant owner asks. "What does that mean?" // "We only exist at night. We're frozen during the day." // "Stop talking," Oliver scolds again. // "You are not the boss of me," she fights. "I'm an adult, I make my own choices. Live with it." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI can't believe we made it; I actually did it. We're in a special structure they built inside of the outer bulk that they call The Stage. A number of parties are here right now—for as much as 'right now' means anything—many of which are oblivious to the others. #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”No, he said, "SOYLENT GREEN IS PURPLE!" He was just upset about learning that he was colorblind. Relax, everybody. It's perfectly safe and healthy.
Sonnet Quote"That’s why I love fiction; it has all things // But life could change by what the future brings." // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe's such a Generation Z-er, Oliver can't help but think to himself. "Fine. We'll throw caution to the wind. Sir, can you tell us what year it is?" // "It's January 20, 2022." // "So, we didn't time travel." // "Maybe we didn't," Skylar begins, "but we teleported." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI take a second to breathe. We could breathe inside of the bubble, but it tastes kind of stale and unsatisfying. Cricket and Claire do the same. "Why did you do that?" I ask. "Why did you come with me?" // "We go where you go," Claire says, as if it's obvious. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationMy wife: "Uh, honey? You're getting a call." // Me: "Who is it?" // Wife: "The caller ID just says Settings." // Me: "I can explain…" // Wife: "Are you still in contact with your ex-girlfriend, Settings Montgomery?"
Sonnet Quote"Build vertical, and take a lift instead // It will take minutes from your work to bed" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You're standing in front of the Salmonday Club," the restaurant owner reasons. "Did someone give you a business card?" // "Yes." Oliver picks it up from the floor. // "Yeah, that's a transporter. He must have realized what you were." // "What are we?" // "Salmon." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"I appreciate that," I say, "but we barely survived." // "Barely surviving is still surviving," Cricket points out. He looks around the nondescript empty room. "Now. Where are we?" // I explain what this place, and who else is here. We should stay put for now. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationMe: "Its harder for me to back out when you park on the street." // Neighbor: "Where should I park?" // Me: In your driveway?" // Neighbor: "Then I would have to pull it out to get the inside vehicle out." // Me: "So instead of inconveniencing yourself, you inconvenience others?"
Story Quote"She finds the MedHock doctor at a desk. 'Is he stable?' // 'For now,' he answers. // 'Out.' // 'He’s stable, but that doesn’t mean—' // 'Get! Out!' // He leaves with a protesting attitude. // 'Final lesson, don’t treat people like that,' Halan advises." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We're fish?" Oliver questions. // He laughs. "You're not literal fish, it's a metaphor. Salmon go the wrong direction. Get it?" // "Are you salmon too?" Skylar asks. // "Nah, my husband and I just got caught up in it. Forgive me, I'm Richard. Allen! Come out here!" #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI open a door to another room where there are couches and chairs. For a long time now, it's been go-go-go, and even during rest, we were anticipating conflict. Now we can actually rest. At least the two of them can. I'm getting an update from my alternate self. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationDesigner: "We didn't change anything except for the packaging. It's now harder to open it than it was with the previous model." // CEO: "How does that help the customer?" // Designer: "It doesn't." // CEO: "Okay, how does it help our company?" // Designer: "It doesn't."
Story Quote"They had two friends missing. One more jump was not going to be enough. They had to find some kind of power source here, because there was no way to know whether they would be able to find one tomorrow. There had to be something on this ship…somewhere." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAnother guy comes out of the restaurant kitchen, and approaches. // "Come meet our new friends," Richard says to him. "This is Oliver, and Skybird." // "That's not my real name, I'm Skylar." // "Nice to meet you." Allen shakes her hand, and then Oliver's. "Hungry?" #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI know what will happen next. At least I think I do. This is both a lounge, and a sort of security room. I can show Cricket and Claire all of the other people in this facility right now. We're fairly early, but the others are filing in quickly in various areas. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationGirl: "Wait, is your name is Guy Freckles?" // Guy: "Guy, comma, Freckles. As in those legs o' yours." // Girl: "Ecue me?"
Sonnet Quote"One day, I’ll lose my problems and retire // I wish it would happen soon, I’m so tired" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Yes, we are," Skylar squeals. "Our schedule's rather odd." // "Well, we can make anything you could want, from any region, from any time period…as long as you're on this side of the restaurant," Allen says. "I assume they're…" // "Time-skippers," Richard explains. #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI find the remote, and switch on the monitors. We can see Apothem setting up chairs in the viewing room. The Newtonian Expats are getting reacquainted with each other, and Team Matic is having a quick discussion with Abel and Lucius. Claire peers at the screen. #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”I came up with a new football play. Whereas a blitz is when I run towards you, and attack, a kugelblitz is when I suck you in, and RIP YOU APART!
Sonnet Quote"To be honest, it wasn’t all that bad // Using sugar for flour’s the new fad" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Come on," Allen turns around, and starts to walk away. "I'll get you two menus. Hint: it's a tablet with a simple word processing app where you tap out what you want, and we summon it." // "This place is pretty cool," Oliver has to admit. // "Right?" Skylar agrees. #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"I know him," Claire says. // "I thought you might," I respond // "How do I know him?" // "Eh…time, right?" // "What does that mean?" she questions. // "Think back," I suggest. "Focus on his face. What do you associate it with." // She does so. "…kindness." #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationDumb Boss: "Employee, get in here!" // Employee: "Yes?" // Dumb Boss: "Why did you waste this paper? I didn't ask you to print the attachments in the forwarded email. I asked you to make COPIES. One's for my desktop, and the other stays in email." // Employee: "Yes, sir, I quit."
Sonnet Quote"If you don’t get these birds out of my sight // I’ll drive them to the dump, and strike a light" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe tablet that Allen provides is open ended, but it also has a catalog of ideas based on a food preferences questionaire. They talk about how crazy they might be able to make their orders. In the end, he just orders a chicken sandwich, and she picks a bison burger. #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageClaire leaves the room. Cricket and I see her carefully approaching Team Matic and their friends. No one notices. // "Should we let her do that?" // "We should, yes," I reply. "This is all meant to be." // Claire gets Medavorken Alon's attention, but only his. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationSouthern Californian: "What the hell are you wearing?" // Me: "This is called a ja-cket. You wear it when it's co-oold. Cold is like the refrigerator, but it's all around you. Oooooooo." // Southern Californian: "I mean why does it say MAGA on the back." // Me: "It does? Dammit!"
Sonnet Quote"I know some hearts are simply filled with hate // This simply means work harder to relate" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHalfway through the meal, Mackenzie Dodge shows up, carrying a case of canned water. He seems surprised to find them here, but pleased. Immediately Oliver notices how different he's acting. He's more normal…genuine, like all those other encounters were performances. #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageMedavorken is rather curious, so without telling anyone, he slyly slips away from the group, and follows Claire down the hallway. She's keeping a cool lead on him, and he doesn't catch up until they're in the room where the three of us first teleported into. #TakingCenterStage
Random Nothing"To the horse, the human is a parasite."
Sonnet Quote"Sophie was basically my one best friend // And Daisy’s more my baby, in the end" // #couplet #nanopoetry #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Can you explain how your club works?" Skylar requests. // Mackenzie hesitates for just a second before sitting down. "I created an extra day between Saturday and Sunday. You can go in after 11:59:30 PM, and come out before 12:00:30 AM. The bubble lasts 24 hours." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"What's your name and rank, soldier?" Medavorken asks // Claire isn't wearing a uniform anymore, but she just has that air about her. She stands tall, proud, and ready to take on a threat at all times. "Corporal Claire Fuller." // "Comradiant Medavorken Alon." #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”To people who double park in order to avoid other vehicles getting too close and damaging them, what do you think keys are for?
Story Quote"They have been slowly accumulating power, even though their original mandate was to appoint the first crew members of the mission, and then do pretty much nothing else. Is this them? Are they the traitors? Corinna is sure staring at them with contempt." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So it's a time bubble," Skylar says to Oliver. "Like ours." // "Except the opposite," Oliver clarifies. "Time moves slower in ours, but faster in his." // "Well, it's more than that," Mackenzie says. "It's in another spatial dimension too. I call it The Facsimile." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Why do I recognize you?" Claire asks him. // "Why do I recognize YOU?" Medavorken echoes. // Claire turns her head to look at me, so Medavorken does the same, assuming that I'm the one with answers. "I don't have all the details," I explain without explaining. #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”I just found out that Edwin Abbott Abbott died. So sad, he was a great inspiration. The world will miss you, Eddy.
Story Quote"When they arrived at the Bran safehouse—which surely shouldn’t be called that in this version of Kansas City—they discovered what she meant by that. A man was waiting for her in the kitchen, preparing them a meal. 'Is this them?' he asked, unsurprised." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Skylar continues the interview, "24 hours? So people just party all day, all night, then go to church?" // Mackenzie laughs heartily. "It's not a club…it's a door." // "Huh?" // "I mean, there's a club over there, but it's mostly just an entrance to the Facsimile." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI go on, "I've recently learned that at some point, we go back to Claire's home universe, and at some point, we go to Medavorken's. I don't know why, and I certainly don't know when, but it will be in your respective pasts. That's why you remember each other." #TakingCenterStage
Dumb DittyI don't understand that song: 🎼"Icicle, icicle, icicle // I want to ride my icicle, icicle, icicle // I want to ride my icicle // I want to ride my ike // I want to ride my icicle // I want to ride it where I like!"🎼 // An icicle would be a short-lived mode of transportation.
Story Quote"This unit was made with three bedrooms, which allowed Marie and Heath to keep the master, and Mateo and Leona to have the medium-sized one. Angela had the smaller one all to herself, while Ramses slept on the couch. Everyone was comfortable and content." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I don't understand," Oliver says apologetically. // Mackenzie starts over. "You walk in the doors, and it becomes Salmonday, the eighth day of the week. Then you leave, and go do whatever you want. Just…be back by the end of the day or you'll miss the next week." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"So now he's suddenly part of the team now?" Claire questions. // "He goes to your universe," I reiterate. "Whether the three of us are with him is unclear. I should have made THAT clearer. I don't have a clear picture of what leads any of us to any of this." #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”Welcome back to another episode of Earthquake or iPhone, the game where we present a photograph of profoundly terrible quality, and ask our contestants to tell us whether it's so blurry because the camera and subjects were shaking…or if it's just that it was shot with an iPhone.
Story Quote"'Ya know what, I have two questions actually,' she amends. // Heath nods. // 'What is this drink?' // 'Hagadesfām juice. It’s a fruit from the Arabian Garden.' // 'I've never heard of it. Have you ever heard of The Beatles?' // 'Is that a band, errr…?'" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"But if it's Salmonday, what is there to do in the other dimension?" Skylar questions. "Where do you go when you leave the building?" // "Anywhere. You can go back home, get some extra sleep. Watch a movie for free…whatever." // "But where are all the other people?" #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"I just don't know if I should stay here, or go back to those other people…" Medavorken says, trailing off. // "Oh, you're not invited to where they're going anyway," I tell him. "You might as well stay here. Are you hungry?" // "I could eat," Cricket decides. #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”I'm getting old. I wish I could turn black the c—whoa, Nick! Some spoonerisms need not be said. This "joke" is probably over that cancel line I mentioned on the 10th of January.
Story Quote"At least one of them either created the reality itself, or capitalized on an opportunity to mould it to their liking. They may have always wanted society to be like this, or things just got out of hand. Regardless, the team feels compelled to fix it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"There are no other people," Mackenzie goes on. "That's what I'm saying. The world is empty, except for Salmonday clubgoers. But you don't see them that much unless you stay close. They go off and do their own thing mostly. It can feel like the apocalypse, honestly." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI step over to the drawer, and input the code for the universe I want to access. "This particular brane has some of the best food. An entire family of vegetables evolved to be savory, salty, and tender, so they all taste like meat. Who wants a veggie burger?" #TakingCenterStage
NanostoryWhen I first came out, my parents sent me to a gay conversion camp. It's not what you think, they didn't believe in conversion, or even wish that it was possible. They just thought it would be a good place to meet someone. They were right. Save the date exactly one year from now!
Story Quote"She tosses a stick back to the ground. 'We could kick a football around as cover.' // 'What’s a football?' Heath whispers to them. // 'It’s a kind of bird,' Mateo jokes. It’s not everyday he meets someone who isn’t orders of magnitude smarter than him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So you can see a movie for free," Oliver begins, "because there's no one around to stop you at the theatre?" // "Right." // "How do new films come out? Do you create a new Facsimile each week?" // "It creates itself, based on how the world was at 11:59 on Saturday." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Sounds interesting." Medavorken steps forward to watch me select the dish from the transversal food synthesizer. "I do have one question." // "Go ahead," I offer. // "Is it vegetarian, or are we eating brains? Also, where are we? Who are you? What's going on?" #TakingCenterStage
NanostoryDo you have any idea how frustrating it is, coming back to this time period after living in the fourth millennium for the last 800 years? Your internet is slow, you still have slavery, and you've not yet fixed climate breakdown. My God, where is all the money that grows on trees!
Story Quote"It was always brief, and of course, not usually useful because of a little invention they call a clock, but it was specific to him, and later Leona. He stops running, but doesn’t let go of Marie’s hand. 'Did you feel that?' // 'Feel what?' she asks." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"But you said the world was empty," Skylar reminds him. "There are people in the world at 11:59 Saturday." // "In the main dimension, yes," Mackenzie agrees, "but I filter them out. There's nothing organic. There's nothing…alive. Wait…there are no animals…alive." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageMedavorken was about to die in a vacuum bomb explosion in his universe when Mateo Matic grabbed him at the last second, and teleported him here. It wasn't unlike what happened to us, but the difference is, I understand as much. He must feel so lost right now. #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationICE Agent: "Ted, you have to make sure you fill out everything on this form, or we'll have to bring all these people back into the country to reprocess them. Please tell me you remember, what was the reporting date of this deporting rate?"
Story Quote"There is no way to satisfy some kind of moral imperative when it comes to something like this. The concept itself is self-contradictory. You can’t be intolerant of religiously intolerant people that claim their intolerance is a tenet of their religion." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So it's just you, and dead puppies," Oliver decides. // "Dead anything," he corrects. "You could go to a morgue and find a bunch of dead human bodies…if that's your thing. It's our policy to not judge." // "This is an interesting concept. I was skeptical at first." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageWhile we're eating, I tell Medavorken everything I know. Well, not everything, but everything that HE needs to know. There are multiple universes, each of us four is from a different one, we're in between them all right now. He takes the news surprisingly well. #TakingCenterStage
Random NothingAnd then God said, "do not worship false American Idols. Melinda Doolittle was robbed in season six. She should have won, and we all know it."
Story Quote"The two of them had a thing back when there was only one version of Angela. Mateo is unaware how serious it was, or if they had time to attempt to navigate the duplication that complicated matters. She has Heath now, but obviously still feels something." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What if a clubgoer plants a bomb in a hospital without anyone being around to stop him?" Skylar asks. // "Like I said, you have to get back to the club in time. That bomb will just go off on the next Salmonday, in the Facsimile hospital, which will likely be empty." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Is there a way for me to get back home?" Medavorken asks. // "Ooo, I'm afraid not," I answer. "I guess, maybe sometime in the future? But you're a historical figure amongst your people, and historically, you died. We COULD put you back, but we shouldn't try." #TakingCenterStage
NanostoryTigers are orange, because when they first evolved, the whole planet was on fire 23.5 hours a day, and 372 days a year. This was the best way to blend in. Yes, tigers evolved a lot longer ago than you were taught. I was there. Who do you think started the fire?
Story Quote"Fairpoint looks at Marie’s still flat stomach. 'You always knew what buttons to push. I’ll do it, because I know that one day, he and I will be the couple with the baby, and you’ll just be—'// 'A forgotten mistake,' Marie recites. 'I recall.' She sighs." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"And anyway," Mackenzie goes on, "we have a thorough vetting process. We're not like other clubs, where hopefuls wait in line for a bouncer who thinks they're good-looking enough to fill the room. They have to be a certain species, and still fill out an application." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"If it makes you feel better," I go on. "We've all left our homes. An alternate version of me deserved the timeline more than I did. Cricket was swept away to another univere. Claire…Claire was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She opened the wrong door." #TakingCenterStage
TruthInaccurate, @StateFarm. All you need to do to be a good neighbor is stay out of my goddamn business, and take your Christmas lights down on December 26.
Story Quote"Marie is silent for a long time, and nobody tries to force her to continue. 'I do not have a baby,' she finally replies. 'I have a clump of cells in my uterus.' // 'Marie…' Leona doesn’t know what else to say. There is probably nothing she could say." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver chuckles. "We're not filling out any application. I see no reason for us to join your little extra-day club." // "You may change your mind when you hear my theory about you," Mackenzie warns. // "Oh, yeah? What's that?" // "I think you won't freeze in there." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Are we meant to become a team, or something?" Medavorken questions. "A squad?" // "No, I wouldn't say that, but we're going to have to escape The Stage eventually, and I suggest you join us when we do. There's nothing for you here. All excitement ends soon." #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”I'm so happy right now. Today is our 50th wedding anniversary. We met on the set of the moon landing.
Story Quote"He snakes his way through the brush, and comes to a small clearing. A woman is kneeling on the ground, presumably praying. Three pipes are sticking out of the ground. Does this religion worship some kind of metal God? She gasps, and stands defensively." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutBefore Oliver or Skylar can react, Richard returns with three plates. Allen follows with something that none of them has seen before. "You asked for it, we made it. It's been cooling in the time cabinet for three days. Lady and gentlemen, I give you…the Cherpumple." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Cricket, why aren't you eating?" I ask. // "I don't eat meat," he reminds me. // "No, I told you, it's vegetables. They just taste like meat because of some bizarre evolution." // "I don't…want to taste meat." // "This is an opportunity to have it ethically." #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationMe: "The mutant cannibal always comes out at 1:00 AM, and is always preceded by a blackout. Check my clock radio down the hall." // My parole officer: "It's 12:01." // Me: "Okay, we have time." // My parole officer: "But it's blinking. What does that mean?" // Me: "Oh my God."
Story Quote"Religious people are the passionate ones. Some are on the wrong side of any given issue, but atheists don’t usually get involved at all, so someone like him needs to be directly encouraged to go out of his way to do the right thing. It should be okay." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"The Cherpumple? Is that a band, errr...?" Mackenzie jokes. // "I saw it on my recommendations," Skylar explains. "It's cherry, pumkin, and apple pie, combined into a cake." // "It sounds insane," he replies. // She shrugs. "I didn't invent it, but I'm gonna try it." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageI gently remove Cricket's plate from his sight. "Allow me to apologize." // "It's okay, it just…I thought it would be fine, but it still feels like a betrayal," he explains. // "We can get you some real vegetables, I know you still need to eat occasionally." #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationMe: "You wanna play some poker?" // My parole officer: "Poker? I don't even know her!" // Me: "So? Sex only requires consent. You don't have to know anything about each other." // My P.O.: "You're all about jokes until someone else tells one, and then it's just rhyme and reason."
Story Quote"Now Angela interrupts. 'Hey!' She takes the both of them by the hand, and drags them down the hallway, into the bedroom she was using. She steps back out. 'We learned this technique when we were training to be a counselor, remember?' she reminds Marie." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey try the cherpumple, including Richard and Allen, who had never tried before. None of them likes it all that much, least of all Oliver, who sort of forgot he doesn't like pie in general. Once dessert's over, Mackenzie offers to give the Spouts a tour of his club. #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageBefore we finish eating, Apothem Sarkisyan walks into the room. He doesn't look surprised to see us, but maybe surprised to find us in this particular place. "I want to thank you for not interfering with the other parties here, but I must now ask you to leave." #TakingCenterStage
Random NothingOnly men can be agents! It's right there in the word! It's short for "a gentleman".
Story Quote"He grimaces, but of course, nothing happens between them that night. He just wanted to make sure she would do the job as they asked, and he was also curious how it would all come together. They may never need the military ID, but it could prove useful." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We won't get stuck in a parallel dimension, right?" Oliver asks. // "No, you'll only be able to see the club as it is on a Thursday night, which is empty. You could only access The Facsimile on Friday. I just want to give you a sneak preview. It's perfectly safe." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"Why? You need the room for somethin' else?" Claire questions. // "As a matter of fact, we do," Apothem answers. // "I'm not ready to leave," Claire insists. // "Mr. Highfill?" Apothem urges. // "If she's not ready, we're not going anywhere," I say. "Sorry." #TakingCenterStage
NanostoryI've reached the part of the program where I have to make amends. Unfortunately my ex-boyfriend has yet to return from the dead to lead the armies of the righteous against the demons of the fire. But Jesus, for when you read this, I'm sorry for ratting you out to the Romans.
Story Quote"You have to be the best, and then stay the best. The main sequence encourages healthy competition as well, but with a much stronger emphasis on the healthy part. The Third Rail doesn’t care how you win, just that you’re the one at the top of the hill." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver looks to see if Skylar is up for it, and she seems to be. "Before you go," Allen begins, "the Facsimile is for fun. It's not a job. I can offer that. We need people to handle the night shift. I imagine one or both of you would be quite comfortable with that?" #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"I rarely must insist," Apothem urges. // "I really must insist right back," I counter. "They have been through a lot. Everyone else is here to start new missions and new lives, but this is the only break we've gotten in a while. So we stay until we're ready." #TakingCenterStage
Random NothingEarlking is an eggcorn.
Story Quote"He tips the book towards him to check the title from above, even though he obviously already knows what he picked out. 'Yeah, I’m starting to get that idea. I don’t understand most of these words, but I don’t know where to begin.' Or whether to begin." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Is your restaurant open 24/7?" Skylar asks. // "This side of it is," Richard explains. "Time travelers don't live by when the sun rises on any particular day. We need to be able to accommodate them whenever they show up. It's been hard, just between the two of us." #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageApothem tilts his head up, so he can look down his nose at me. "Are you…commandeering The Stage?" // I look at my friends to see if they have any input. "No, my good man." // He's relieved. "Good." // "I'm only taking Center Stage. That should be sufficient." #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”My company just acquired LinkedIn, Yahoo!, AOL, Borders, and Pan Am. The respective negotiations for all of those companies just so happened to finish on the same day, and we'll probably make it a company-wide holiday. #blessed
Story Quote"When and where she grew up, it was illegal to terminate a pregnancy, but she could have crossed the border to Kansas in certain cases, or Washington or New York regardless. And then she could have gone home. But in this reality, she can’t even do that?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar and Oliver look at each other again. // "We would pay whatever you need. Plus, they've finished all the dorms upstairs, so you'd always have a place to sleep, free of charge. Not every time period takes care of its salmon, but the center was designed for it. #OliverSpout
Taking Center StageApothem studies my face to see if I'm bluffing. "Center Stage has been taken. I'll let them know." // "Did we just declare war?" Claire asks after Apothem leaves. // "No," I say with a smirk, which is very unlike me. "We just started a game. It should be fun." #TakingCenterStage
“Joke”Oh, relax. The bedbugs aren't going to come off of me. This is a couch.
Story Quote"Really? What fanciful claims did the forger make on her fake background documents? Magnus sounds like some kind of educational title, which he knows Leona not to have achieved in real life. Hopefully it’s not something she can’t fake her way through." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We appreciate hearing that," Oliver says politely. "We'll think it over." // "Great," Mackenzie says. "Now, let's go to the club. We just put in a nice juice bar, and I want to show you something else that I've been working on." // "Okay," Skylar says. "Just relax." #OliverSpout
Taking Center Stage"What kind of game is it?" Cricket asks. // "I'm not sure," I answer honestly. // "Yet you just challenged this guy to it?" Claire questions. // "You wanted to stay." // "Not if it's going to be dangerous," Medavorken says, worried. // "I'm sure it'll be fine." #TakingCenterStage
Fake ConversationBlind date: "Hi, I think you may be my blind date? Ted set us up? My name is Chip. And you are…?" // Me: "Leaving." // Kip, or whatever: "Why? What's wrong?" // Me: "Your name is Trip." // Pip, I think he said: "It's Chip." // Me: "It's adorable you think that matters."
Story Quote"What Marie and Heath decided after some thought is that Croatia in this world is a prosperous and fairly self-sufficient country. While Leona supposedly most recently conducted research in Denver, she came up in Osijek. It would be hard to disprove it." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutOliver offers to carry Mackenzie's bag of groceries, then he and his sister follow the club owner over to the presently dormant portal that reportedly leads to another dimension. What they find on the other side is a let down, but this is what clubs look like empty. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"Let's just go," Claire urges. "It doesn't matter where." // "What doesn't matter is whether we go, or try to go, as it were," I reply. "The challenge has bent sent and accepted. This has to happen anyway. With Center Stage, we'll have a way out of here." #EquilibriumChallenger
Topical ReferenceYou would think that supreme court justices would be just, but they're JUST NOT!
Story Quote"Ramses may have had a rivalry or two back in the day, but even a group of radical capitalists generally accepted the idea that one person's success did not inherently mean another's failure. This world, however, considers them to be one and the same." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It might not look like much," Mackenzie says as he's leading them over the dance floor, but it looks better with the pretty lights, and the prettier ladies." He glances over at Skylar. "More than just the one pretty lady." // "Watch it, I told you, she's eighteen." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"I thought this place was here permanently," Cricket begins. "It's not a ship, or whatever we would need to get out of here." // "That's true, but what Center Stage has is a resource that can be found nowhere else. It has a special means of communication." #EquilibriumChallenger
Random NothingWhen you crack your knuckles, the gas that was trapped between your bones is released with the same amount of force that the sun outputs in one-tenth of a nanosecond.
Story Quote"There have been other times when he's gone off alone, but those have mostly been attempts to protect his family. Today, he only wants to clear his mind, and not worry about anything for a little while. The last time he tried that, it didn't work out." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I know that," Mack defends. He opens the door to the employee only area, and lets them through, but then he has to slide by them to get back in front. // "I thought you wanted us to see a juice bar," Skylar reminds him. // "Oh, yeah. Whatever. We'll see it after." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI continue, "this means of communication can get us in touch with someone who can retrieve us." // "Who?" Cricket asks. // "There are a few options." // "And we have to be in charge of this place in order to use it?" // I sigh. "Well, it's hard to explain." #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConversationMe: "Why are you fighting for them!? You can't take sides! You said you were Switzerland!" // Ted: "I AM Switzerland. Ted Switzerland. And you're about to become swiss cheese. That's my catchphrase, wadya think?" // Me: "I don't love it." // Ted: "Well, I'll workshop it more."
Story Quote"Yes, they're rich, but it feels weird, taking and never giving. Then again, he's always done that. He still lived with his parents at 28. He didn't even own the car he used for work. Hell, even Ramses built their ship for them. Mateo doesn't contribute." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutMackenzie opens another door. Inside is a woman. Nothing seems strange until Oliver and Skylar realize that she hasn't moved at all. "Is she in a time bubble?" // "Yes." Mackenzie confirms. He shakes his head when Skylar checks her watch. "It's not a sunset thing." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI think about what I'm going to say. "No one knows who built The Stage. We have our suspicions, but whoever it was left it for anyone to use, and anyone to control. If you want to take control, whoever has control gets to decide what that process entails." #EquilibriumChallenger
Random NothingHere's a fun fact that you may not know: Gisele Bündchen's real name is Giselba Bündchkenmunchkin.
Story Quote"This is going surprisingly well. He’s never felt so uncomfortable around regular humans than he has in this world, but Mag. Sharpe feels like someone he can trust. Now it’s time to get to the real issue, though, which has nothing to do with time travel." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"This isn't part of her," Mackenzie continues. "It's been done TO her. We think we know who, but that's not the point. We were hoping that you could somehow fix it." // "She looks angry at that chair," Oliver points out. // "Yeah, I was sitting in it when she froze." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"So the process could be anything?" Medavorken figures. "It could be a fight to the death." // "It won't be that," I tell him, "not from these people. But if someone else were to gain control after us, I suppose they could choose that for later challenges." #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryHere's another fun fact that you may not know: the devil invented concrete. That's not to say that concrete is evil. He just had a really good idea to solve a problem which the world didn't know it had. He didn't even take credit, though, so who's evil now?
Story Quote"He's about to contend that he doesn't have a great mind, but that's the sort of thing his therapist would advise him not to say. He needs to learn to value himself. So he decides that it's true. 'Yes, exactly,' he tells her. That's a big step for him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Does she think you trapped her?" Skylar asks. // "She's mad for unrelated reasons. I wouldn't be able to do this even if I wanted to." // "What makes you think we could do anything?" Oliver asks. // Skylar taps her on the shoulder before he finishes his sentence. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerQuicklier than I thought, Apothem comes back into the room, and tosses me a helmet. I inspect it, but I don't know exactly what it is. "What's this for?" // "To breathe," Apothem explains. "There's no air in the outer bulkverse." // Oh, great. "You're on." #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”The meal between breakfast and lunch is called brunch. The meal between lunch and dinner is sometimes called linner. So why is the meal between dinner and breakfast called fourth meal, when really, it should be dickfast?
Story Quote"If someone at a higher level wanted to know something, they could just ask, and an answer would come. For the rest, some of the more fortunate strongly believed that they still deserved whatever education they desired, so they built places of learning." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"…even look at her again, you're—!" the woman continues her scolding from however long ago, then puts her wagging finger away, and stands up, confused. She looks around, and finds the other three. "How long have I been gone?" // Mackenzie looks ashamed. "Two weeks." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"He's going to make you go out there?" Medavorken asks. "It's outer space, isn't it?" // "Kinda, but not really, but close enough," I answer. // "Can you survive with only a helment?" Cricket asks. // "We'll have to wait for the full rule list," I explain. #EquilibriumChallenger
Random NothingThe main difference between marsupials and mammals is that marsupials don't fart.
Story Quote"No, he's never taken one before. In his time, using recreational drugs was rare, so people just assumed you weren't on them. If you were, and it didn't negatively impact your productivity, then probably no one would notice. But if they did catch you…" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You haven't been gone," Skylar clarifies. "You were frozen in a bubble." // The woman looks over to Mackenzie for confirmation. "That son-of-a-bitch," she mutters. // "Me?" // "No. Well, you too, but...no. You didn't do this to me. I need to get back to the office." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI kind of always thought that if I ran into one of my major characters—especially one that I was very familiar with—that I would instantly recognize them. But the man who walks in after Apothem leaves has to introduce himself. "Hello. I am Zdano Markham." #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConverationCop: "Sir, why were you driving so fast?" // Me: "Sorry, officer. I'm just so late for work." // Cop: "I understand that, but you'll never get there if you die in a car crash, will you?" // Me: "I work at a funeral home." // Cop: "My mistake, carry on."
Story Quote"This would be so much easier if she could work alone. She's the one from the alternate reality. She's the one who has seen all kinds of wondrous technology. Many people in this lab may be smarter, but none of them can match her experience and knowledge." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe woman closes the door to the hallway, takes what looks like a thick credit card out of her pocket, and hovers it next to the door. A keycard reader magically appears, and then beeps. When she reopens the door, it's not the hallway anymore. It's somewhere else. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI step over to the vampire, and extend my hand. "It's nice to meet you…Danzo." // Zdano twitches. "They told me you would know things; things you shouldn't know." // "I don't know everything. I didn't know that you ever came here." // "I aim to surprise." #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Has anybody seen my son? Man, you look away for three days, and they disappear without a trace. No one told me parenting would be this hard.
Story Quote"She’s right, it didn’t. Or did it? Mateo and Ramses thought they were converting solar energy in the Parallel, but even though he personally engineered these upgraded bodies, he hasn’t spent much time in his own. Maybe he was mistaken this whole time." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Whoa," Skylar and Oliver say simultaneously. They're drawn towards the portal. // "You can't go in there," Mackenzie warns. // "Which one of you woke me up," the woman asks. "Come," she adds when Skylar raises her hand. // "I can't let her go alone," Oliver demands. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"Are you the one responsible for The Stage right now? Am I going to be competing against you with this helmet?" // "Me and a few others," Zdano explains. "When they heard what you were up to, some randos figured they too would give it a shot. Imagine that." #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Think about it, have you ever seen @mindykaling and the @LAKings in the same room together? It's like she's BEGGING us to figure out that she's secretly an entire ice hockey team—it is ice hockey, right? Don't ask me how she does it.
Story Quote"Heath runs his hand along the curve of what looks like a turned up wing. 'It can float in the sea, drive on the roads, and fly through the sky.' // 'What, couldn’t spring for the one that’s also a spaceship?' Mateo jokes. // 'No,' he answers genuinely." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Very well, you come too," the woman says. Once they walk through the portal door, she closes it behind them, much to Mackenzie's chagrin. "Siria Webb, Patient Hospitality and Comfort, Time Clinic." // "Oliver and Skylar Spout, bouncer and…young woman, Kansas City." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"I just sent the challenge," I point out. "How did randos find out about it?" // "Eh…time, right?" Zdano replies. "Anyway, we'll be going over the rules in five composite hours, and starting immediately after, so I suggest you get some rest. See you then." #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConversationDistrict Attorney: "Can you point to the killer?" // Witness: *points* // DA: "Let the record show that the witness pointed to a pigeon that wandered in through an open window, and flew in front of the defendant." // Judge: "Defendant, you're free to go. Someone catch that bird!"
Story Quote"Yeah, she would. He’s a nice guy who cares about people. He likes to read too, which is high up on her list of preferable traits. She smiles, and tries to say yes, but for some reason, it sounds a little more like, 'I’m married.' What the hell was that?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What are your powers?" Siria asks as she's leading them down the new hallway. // "I don't think we have powers. Someone called us salmon?" // Siria stops. "You're salmon, but you got me out of the bubble." // "I figured I would try," Skylar says. // "Fascinating." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"What is a composite hour?" Cricket asks. // "One hundred minutes." // "Ahh," Claire begins. "But what is a minute? It will be different for different people." // "Hours, days, years, even seconds; those are flexible. But a minute is a minute…everywhere." #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”At my funeral, please firstly include a goose. It's a reference. Secondly, have someone perform a parody cover of Don't Stop Believing called Don't Stop Grieving. I will provide the full lyrics in another post. Lastly, please hold the service at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
Story Quote"He's not doing it for himself, or even to get his people back home. It's for Marie. The Constant was designed with all sorts of advanced technology, including medical equipment. They don't need to trust an outsider if he can make contact with Danica." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSiria enters another office, where a woman wearing a lab coat is working at a desk. "Miss Webb," she says. "What are those two doing here?" // "Do you know who they are?" Siria asks. // "Yes, they're…inconsequential." // "She doesn't mean that," Siria assures them. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"So how long do you have to sleep?" Medavorken asks me. // "Eight hours. That's just enough time. You two probably need to rest too. Cricket, I know you don't need as much, but don't go wandering off. You should probably not leave this room, or the next." #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConversationFast food worker: "Sorry, sir, we're out of the apple pie, but we have plenty of cherry, so I substituted that, and gave you an extra one to compensate. We apologize for the inconvenience." // Me: "You'll be hearing from my lawyer."
Story Quote"Scanning is one thing. It wasn't hard for him to run the machine over this land without causing a stir. It might even be public land, but that doesn't mean he can excavate it. Now he's both literally and figuratively at a crossroads, and he needs help." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It IS what I mean," the doctor insists. She stands up, and begins to walk around her desk. "You've learned that salmon are created to help people throughout time, but that's not entirely true. Many of them are the way they are for no reason, or really just because." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"The next room?" Claire asks. // I walk to the other side of the room, and open a door. Behind it we see bunks, a few desks, and other housing amenities. "We can sleep here." // "That was a closet when I first opened it," Claire says. // "Eh…space, right?" #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”You're all so dumb, spending all this money on all these at-home #COVID19 tests. I bought one test, so I can leave it on my dresser. You may test yourself once or twice a month, but I walk by my results several times a day to check if anything has changed. I'm always up to date.
Story Quote"None of them is a doctor. Not even Angela studied enough medicine to feel comfortable doing anything like this. Their only hope now is automated technology, which will require either Ramses or Leona to operate it. The question then becomes, who stays?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"My recommendation, Spouts, is to simply walk away from this," the doctor continues. "Don't get involved in the affairs of salmon and choosers. Just live your lives as best you can. Don't try to fix yourself, or find out who did this to you. Accept it, and move on." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerWe walk into the room, select our bunks, and go to sleep. For just a moment, I'm privately considering choosing the two-person bed to share with Cricket, and I think he may be considering it too, but no. As my favorite movie quote says, no time make love. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Hi, my name is Peneus. I'm a pianist. My favorite food is peanuts. My favorite flower is peonies. I collect pennies.
Story Quote"Mateo growls, though he knows that it’s no one’s fault that they sometimes have different words for the same, or similar, thing. 'It’s a hammer you use for demolition, rather than nails.' That’s how he thinks to describe it, but it may be inaccurate." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe four of them stare at each other for a pretty long time. "This sounds like good advice," Oliver admits to Skylar. // "Yeah, I feel like if we keep learning about this stuff, we'll end up how Siria did in that office, or worse." // "You wanna go?" // "Yes, let's." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI'm anxious about this mysterious and dangerous challenge, so I find myself unable to sleep. My character, Mandy Alto's dreamwalking ability could be really useful in the future, so I don't want to waste it just to fall asleep. But I see no better option. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Yeah, you're right, Will Smith, parents just don't understand, but trying to have sex with a twelve-year-old when you're sixteen isn't a mistake. It's a federal crime. I wrote this "joke" a long time ago, before the whole slapgate thing. Don't try to draw any connections.
Story Quote"He rifles through his bag until he finds their salvation. He holds it between his fingers like it’s the most important find ever. // 'It’s a bullet.' // 'It’s a telebullet,' Mateo corrects. 'It may just be all we need.' He smiles, dreaming of Shawshank." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver and Skylar leave the clinic office, evidently not really thinking about the fact that they have no idea how to get back to where they were. Are they even in Kansas City, or what? Still thinking straight, Siria follows them, though, holding her special keycard. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerIt's an amazing new feeling. Even when I fell asleep back on Cricket's home planet, it wasn't this good. This is a level of euphoria I never knew was possible. The ease trickles in while all my anxiety, self-doubt, and worry drift away. I'm out in seconds. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”If you're bad at grammar, you'll find that I'm not very easy to which to talk.
Story Quote"Memory issues notwithstanding, Mateo had to have been standing on top of the ground when the shaft caved in. Sure, some debris may have fallen down after him, but not this much. Heath should be able to find him here somewhere, or perhaps…parts of him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'll take you back to the Center." Siria holds her keycard up to the nearest reader. "I don't want you left completely in the dark, but I don't have one of those fancy contact modes." She hands Oliver a business card. "Just call that number if you ever need help." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI'm dreaming of being back home with my dog, Daisy. I know that she's being taken care of by my alternate self, but I obviously still miss her. I guess this is the closest that I'm ever going to get. It takes me a minute to realize what this means, though. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Thank you for calling 1-800-247-HALP. Our normal business hours are between 11:00 AM and 2:00 PM UTC-12 Monday through Wednesday. Please call back when we are available. If this is an emergency, I'm not sure we could help you with that anyway.
Story Quote"He knows she is, but what does that mean? Was that an alternate version of her? Does this one standing before him end up traveling to the main sequence at some point? Has she already been to the main sequence, and now she’s trying to keep it a secret?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Thanks, we appreciate it," Oliver says, shaking her hand. Skylar shakes it too, and they leave. As soon as they step through the portal door, they freeze. But it's not like normal. They first see time accelerate around them gradually. What the hell is happening? #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerThere's a reason Mandy Alto can walk through dreams. That's because dreams are real. They take place in other universes, and are usually not stable enough to last longer than that dream, but he and his bloodline can change the rules. That's what they do. #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryI took some horse tranquilizers. From the store. I mean, I paid for them, so I guess I didn't really TAKE them. But I didn't keep the receipt. In my wallet for a few weeks, like I usually do, in case something comes up. Yeah, I'm kind of a bad boy. I donated them to a ranch.
Story Quote"Leona wasn’t paying any attention, but she perks up now. 'Alyssa? McIver?' She didn’t even have to hear a last name to make the connection. She’s just used to meeting people from her future, so a first name is often enough to spark an associated memory." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutNormal bubbles are blink and it's over, but this one's slow. It's also never happened in public. It's weird to see so much activity, weirder that people are moving relatively slow, and weirder that no one is horrified or confused that two people are frozen in place. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerIf I can hold onto the dreamwalking power long enough, I may be able to stabilize this universe that I have created. It is small in scope, because all I need is for it to be the size of my backyard, and last long enough for me to return in physical form. #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConversationMy dealer: "Hey, man, what'r'ya lookin' for? I just got a new shipment. Twenty pound cherry. There's a shortage of this stuff, it's goin' fast. Or what about the white stuff? 92 brightness…hundred? I even got that legal." // Me: "I need some special cut premium color."
Story Quote"He does as he’s told, bashing the hammer against the wall over, and over, and over again. The facility is constructed out of metal, probably graphene, and maybe other metamaterials. There’s no wood, or even brick anywhere. They wouldn’t last very long." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutMackenzie, Allen, and Richard are standing in front of them when the bubbles close, and release them back into realtime. "That was weird," Skylar notes. // "The time clinic can have a weird effect on patterns," Mackenzie begins to explain. "Lots of temporal energy." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerHow do I do this, though? People. I need people. The best way to keep a dreamt-up universe alive is to ask for help. The more people that make a connection with it, the less likely it is to fall into oblivion. I concentrate on pulling Cricket and Claire in. #EquilibriumChallenger
Fake ConversationPark patron: "I've been watching your son play. He's very nice to the other children, and he seems so smart. My partner and I are planning our own family. Would mind if we cloned him for our first born?" // Me: "Not a problem. Here's some hair from his brush. You have a baggie?"
Story Quote"He’s hurt again—not still—having twisted his ankle when the elevator car came crashing down. It was the only injury. 'You should know you saved my life. I’m not a traveler. What happened to you when you went back, may not have worked for me.' He frowns." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It probably has more to do with the fact that they jumped a little through time," Allen contends. "Their bodies weren't expecting the sunrise in that moment, so they got confused." // "Yeah, maybe…" Mackenzie says, unconvinced, but choosing to remain diplomatic. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerMy borrowed power doesn't do exactly what I expected. Cricket and Claire don't simply show up on my deck. All three of our dreams sort of get merged together into this jumbled mess of unstable reality, which will make it harder to keep this universe alive. #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryThe engagement ring I bought my girlfriend has an ivory band, and a giant blood diamond. Like, I didn't even let them wash the blood off of it. I only eat meat, I don't tip, and trained myself to sleep with the lights on, just to waste energy.
Story Quote"Angela and Marie end up running two more tests before they’re ready to call it quits for the day. By the time Angela gets back home, the rest of the team is already there. It’s time to come up with a new plan. Rather, they have to default to an old one." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It's been a long day," Oliver says, "or however long it's been. Didn't you say you had rooms available?" // "Yeah," Richard replies. "I'll take you up to them. And hey, have you given any thought to working the night shifts for us?" // "About that…" Oliver begins. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerCricket's river runs through my yard, but Daisy walks on top of the water to get to the other side. Claire's military obstacle course is up against the fence, and crosses into my house. Dreams this weird don't survive. They have to have good proper physics. #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryHumans evolved to be alone, rather than in groups or relationships. I mean, think about it; I hate people, and I don't understand them, and since I'm a human, other people hate people, and don't understand them. That's just logic, you have to understand.
Story Quote"It's a day of rest, and likely the last joint day off for a while. Leona postponed her return to work until next week, Ramses is newly unemployed, Mateo is still unemployed, Heath is already on sabbatical, and Marie and Angela are taking a personal day." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I think we're just going to stay out of all this," Oliver continues. // "Yeah," Skylar agrees. "I mean, we've not seen too many weird and problematic things that can come from this time travel, but we just feel it's best if we avoid it. Ya know, starting tomorrow." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerNeither of them is surprised that we're here together. They're lucid, but still not fully aware that we're sharing a dreamscape. I spend a little time explaining it to them, which prompts them to try to help by stabilizing their contributions to the dream. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”I agree, Harper IS bizarre. I actually don't know who that is, I'm just trying to be agreeable.
Story Quote"Marie and Angela are back to work. Ramses and Heath are off buying various things for the mission; probably too much, in the end. This is a good opportunity for Mateo and Leona to spend some alone time together. They never really did have a honeymoon." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"That…" Mackenzie begins, "is perhaps the most surprisingly mature thing I've ever heard any salmon or choosing one say. So I'll respond with a 'good luck' and a 'you're gonna need it' because I don't like your chances. Sorry, but this life has been chosen for you." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerCricket's river disappears. Claire's military obstacle course transforms into a swingset, which is not something I had in my real backyard, but whatever, I'll take it, because I really just need this to house my dog safely until I can come in physical form. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”So a Greek and an Aboriginal Australian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I need a weapon that when I throw it at an enemy, it automatically comes back. The Greek says, "easy, we'll put it on a string." The Australian says, "I don't even need that. I'll just use wind magic."
Story Quote"Leona turns back at the screen. 'It doesn’t say which regiment you ran. But yeah, people here might expect you to tell them. I’m surprised, but glad, that no one has yet.' She shakes her head, trying to figure out how they’re going to get out of this." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutMackenzie doesn't try very hard to convince Oliver and Skylar that they ought to learn more about this time travel crap, and neither do the other two. They escort them up to the dorms, which are more like really nice condos, and leave them be. Now it's time to sleep. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerEverything looks like it's going to be okay, but then they get really complicated. A building suddenly springs up on the other side of my fence, which grows higher. Part of that fence transforms into the entrance to a cave. "Is that a prison?" Claire asks. #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryIn 2010, after four separate fatal accidents, I helped organize a union at my job. Things were all right for a few years, but then we realized that the union was abusing its powers, and not doing everything to support the greater good. So we organized another union. #unionception
Story Quote"Mateo clears his throat. The excitement surrounding his presence at the resort has died down, but anyway, they’re on Clearwater Beach, which is about 30 kilometers from the Sutton. No one should be looking for him here. 'I am,' he answers regretfully." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutCome the next evening, Oliver and Skylar make good on their promise, and leave the Salmon Civic Center. They drop a message in the group chat, letting Lucy and Kostya know that they're all right. Then they return home to plan their next moves. They will need money. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerThe sound of shoes sliding across gravel comes from the cave opening. "Come on out," I instruct, fairly confident I know who's in there. // I'm proven correct when Zdano steps into the light. "Are we sharing a dream?" he asks. // "Good guess," Cricket says. #EquilibriumChallenger
NanostoryI finally got my tax refund. After months of emails, phone calls, phone TAG, office visits, court hearings, and one unfortunate animal sacrifice, they've agreed that I paid too much throughout the year, and I'm entitled to some of it back. All this rigamarole for a lousy $83,000.
Story Quote"When in doubt, be honest, but maybe not too honest. He does not intend to throw the forger under the bus, or say one word about his own team. It just needs to be believable, and only moderately close to the truth. He also shouldn’t add too many details." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey're taking a break from their search for night jobs with flexible hours. "You look a bit nervous," Skylar points out. "It's just the way Mackenzie was acting the last time we saw him. He made it sound like a time traveler might just suddenly appear in the room." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium Challenger"I didn't know you could do this," Zdano says. "If you can dreamwalk, why don't you reach out to someone in another universe who can bulk travel, and ask them to retrieve you?" // I blink a few times. "Quit makin' sense. Ugh, I wish I had thought of that." #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”To answer the question of whether there were more doors in the world, or wheels, we obviously couldn't count them all. So we chose a sample, intending to extrapolate data. We randomly selected a wheel manufacturer, and found that there were only 11 doors, but like, 5,000 wheels.
Story Quote"Heath stops what he was doing, and engages the controls. They dive deeper until The Olimpia is fully submerged. Blast shutters slide down over the windows automatically, but Heath reverses them, under the assumption that they won’t be going very deep." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe siblings look over to the middle of the room, almost expecting a time traveler to appear right now. They stare into empty space for at least a minute before breathing a sigh of relief. But then they both dart back over, just in case it's a trick. No one appears. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerSo far, the powers I've channeled from my characters have worn off before too long. This one has lasted quite awhile, but maybe it's because I'm actively using it. As long as I stay in dreamwalking mode, I should be able to switch dreamscapes. Let's try it. #EquilibriumChallenger
Random NothingIt doesn't necessarily take two to make a thing go right. In fact, in my experience, that usually just makes it worse. All those human emotions. Watch how I do alone.
Story Quote"Leona Matic understands astrophysics and technology. She knows main sequence film history through the year 2028. But goddammit if delivering threats isn’t her best feature. The men all nod silently, now sufficiently afraid to do anything to anger her." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey go about the rest of their night before bed, confident that they've averted a complicated life of dodging time traveler attacks, and whatever else might be out there. After sunset the following day, Lucy and Kostya come over for dinner. That's when it happens. #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerI shut my eyes and use my imagination to seek out someone with the power that I need. If I can ask them for help, I won't need to borrow it from them unless I really need to. Who should I pick? Joseph? The Hawthornes? Hogarth again? No. Meliora Rutherford. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”I'm secretly one of those DJs who wears something on his (or HER) head, and whose true identity no one knows. I don't know which one, but I'm one of them. Pick one at random, that's me.
Story Quote"This close to the center, higher concentrations of temporal energy seem to be more sporadic and—to put it in fitting terms—more fluid. It’s almost as if bursts of energy spontaneously emerge inside the water molecules, which float around until used up." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutEverything the Spouts dreaded shows up in Oliver's apartment. A girl around Skylar's age appears out of a wall of fire. It heats up the room, but thankfully doesn't burn anything. "What's the date?" she asks. "Oh no," she replies when they tell her. "I went too far." #OliverSpout
Equilibrium ChallengerA forest sprouts up all around us. The fence to the East—opposite the prison—collapses. Out of the trees comes Meliora. She smiles at us like she knew this would happen. "I guess this means you forfeit the challenge," she says to me. Yeah, I guess it does. #EquilibriumChallenger
“Joke”Your job makes about as much of a positive impact on society as the Director of Growth at a suicide prevention helpline.
Story Quote"Skeptical, Petra lifts the tablet, and starts to tour the 3D model. She narrows her eyes in some places, and widens them in others. She then swipes over to the next page, which details specifications and production objectives. This is where she gasps." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver Spout"Can't you just go back?" Oliver suggests to the young woman. // "I could try, yes," she replies. "But about half the time I do, I end up in the wrong place. I got lost in dinosaur times once." // "So you're new to this whole world too," Skylar figures. // "I guess." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerMeliora steps into the yard, and introduces herself to the other three. Cricket, Claire, and Zdano don't know who she is. She's one of my favorite characters, but I can't do much with her, because she's just too powerful, so she can't really run into any obstacles. #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationMe: "Nice to meet you, what do you do for a living?" // Guy at Party: "Oh, I manage countdown clocks for celebrity girls who are about to turn eighteen." // Me: "Oh, uhh…kay. And what about YOU?" // Other Guy at Party: "Same, he's my main competition." // Me: "MAIN competition?"
Story Quote"It was a beautiful room with blue mosaic tiles, and shimmering light, but the water was cool, and it wasn’t big enough for swimming. But there was something black on the bottom. He dove in and retrieved a box, inside of which was the teleporter watch." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You wanna have a seat?" Oliver asks, standing up and opening a fifth folding chair. He used to only have the one, but had to buy more once all these new friends and family came into his life. // "Thanks. I'm Mc—Kalisha. I'm Kalisha Willard, and I'm a time traveler." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"What can I do for you?" Meliora asks me. // "Don't you already know?" I pose. // "Yes, but it's better if you ask. You and I already know pretty much everything we need to about each other. We should let the conversation play out, for the sake of others, though." #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationEvil King: "What is this?" // Me: "This, my lord, is the Fire Wizard of Algamoritha." // King: "I told you to bring me his head!" // Me: "I did, sire. It's right here." // King: "It's still attached to his body!!" // Me: "You never specified otherwise." // King: "Kill them both!"
Story Quote"He leans back and skips the video to the point where Leona picks up the watch and transports it to oblivion. It’s not full on molecular teleportation, but a failsafe that rips the device into a thousand pieces, and embeds it in the nearest solid object." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We are too," Skylar says, indicating herself and her brother. // "We're just humans," Lucy says, indicating herself and Kostya. // "Cool, my best friend is human," Kalisha says. "I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm just no good at this." // "It's all good," Oliver says. #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Meliora Rutherford," I begin, "would you please come retreive me from The Stage, and transport me back to this universe, so that I may be physically reunited with a duplicate of my dog?" // Daisy barks up at Meliora, as if she seconds the request. She's so cute. #BraneScanner
“Joke”#SPOILER: Why is no one talking about last night's episode of #BreakingBad!? It was insane! I can't believed that SPOILER SPOILED the SPOILER, and then SPOILED all over his ex-wife's SPOILED SPOILER! It was so gross, since his SPOILER saw it all from the window.
Story Quote"He knew a kid like that in grade school. He would always answer one question, ask one question, or make one comment, per day. Sometimes it was very small and inconsequential, but that way, the teacher couldn’t claim that he never participated in class." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Are ya hungry?" Kostya asks. Without waiting to hear a response, he starts reloading his own plate with some now cold food. "Oh, wait a second." He sticks his finger in the potatoes, and decides to microwave it instead. // Lucy sighs. "I'll get you your own plate." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Okay, I'll do this for you," Meliora agrees, "but I'll need something in return." // "What could I possibly do that you can't do yourself?" Like I said, she's nigh omnipotent. // "You're The Superintendent. I need you to change something about my homeworld for me." #BraneScanner
NanostoryA lot of people write notes of affirmation to themselves, which they place strategically in their living spaces, most often on mirrors. I do that too, but instead of them saying things like "you're great" or "don't give up" mine just says "try not to pee on yourself today".
Story Quote"That’s what philosophers imagine Pryce regulated—knowingly or not. He set up a system that grouped newcomers together through a filter of diversity, and studies have proven that living in a diverse area is the number one cause of acceptance and love." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You are all being really nice to me. It's rather bizarre, time traveling into a stranger's apartment, and having them not freak out about it. How have I been so lucky so far? I keep missing my mark, but never accidentally landing in a crowded mall, or something." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Change something for you?" Even that shouldn't be beyond Meliora's power. She can just go back in time to any moment, and make any alteration she wants. She could even sit there and safeguard her new timeline from further change if she wanted to, even across aeons. #BraneScanner
NanostoryI went on a business trip with my coworker. We were both hoping the hotel would apologize, and say that there was only one single room available, so we could do an awkward Brokeback Mountain sort of thing, but not actually do anything. Unfortunately, they had plenty of vacancies.
Story Quote"This is his home. It’s not perfect. It’s downright cruel in some ways. But it’s familiar, and as random as all the laws, customs, and religious practices seem to be, they’re rooted in a history that he grew up learning. They make perfect sense to him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Really?" Lucy asks, intrigued. "You just happen to avoid being caught by people? We were just talking about the people with powers, rather than patterns. That sounds more like you, since you can choose when to use it, but maybe you're being secretly protected too." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Yes," Meliora says. "I want you to get rid of the parallel realities." // "Huh?" I question. "Why would you want that?" // "I have my reasons. I've tried, but they're too…resolute. Only you can make it happen. You must destroy all but one. I don't care which one." #BraneScanner
Random NothingA little bit about me, I'm the guy who trained the bird to land on Bernie Sanders' podium.
Story Quote"All she can do is continue to follow, three cars back, and hope that they stop soon. They don't, though. In fact, they turn off on a single lane road; that's one lane, full stop. It would look mighty suspicious if she happened to be going that way too." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutKalisha considers the hypothesis. "So I can create a portal whenever I want, and maybe choose which direction of time I want to go, but someone else is choosing where I end up, and who is there on the other side?" // "Doesen't sound implausible, given everything." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"I can't destroy four realities. That's killing upwards of pentillions of people." // "Well, you could save The Parallel, and then you would be killing less." // "That doesn't really make it better," I argue. // "Those are my terms." // "Is there room to negotiate?" #BraneScanner
“Joke”What about this is difficult for you HEATHENS to understand? Noah was a 500-year-old man with the power to lure animals to him from all over the world, and create massive pocket dimensions on a boat he built himself. I mean, like, how stupid do you have to be to not get that?
Story Quote"He shakes off the fight, because he has to switch gears to another problem. These military credentials were a bad idea from the start, and he can't believe the rest of the team let him go through with it. Hopefully the forger doesn't give him any crap." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Brane ScannerMeliora considers it. "We can negotiate, but that implies a give and take. You'll lose something you've asked of me." // "I think we can work with that. If you get us out of here, I'll make my way back on my own in physical form, and then destroy four realities." #BraneScanner
Oliver SpoutKalisha sighs. "Well, I don't know how we would find out either way. I guess all I can do is keep trying; keep practicing." // "You don't have to do anything tonight. Why don't you stay at my place? I have plenty of room." // "Are you sure? I don't want to impose." #OliverSpout
Story Quote"She stands and steps over to her bookcase to scan the titles until she finds what she’s looking for. 'Here.' She hands it to him. // 'Capital With a Capital C,' he reads aloud. // 'It’s eerily similar to what you describe. You should read it, she urges." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Nah, I could do with the company," Lucy claims. "Half my friends sleep all night, and don't exist during the day." // "Huh?" Oh yeah, they haven't explained themselves to Kalisha yet. // "Come on. Kostya, it's your turn to clean up." // "Okay!" he agrees happily. #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Wait." She's confused. "I don't understand what you're giving in the new deal. I asked you to destroy four realities, and you agreed. Why would you need to make any concessions?" // "You asked me to destroy all but one reality. I'm only agreeing to destroy four." #BraneScanner
“Joke”We just broke ground on a new fitness studio that focuses heavily on stationary bikes, and we've already run into a major obstacle. A family of red foxes moved in right in the middle of the construction site, and declared it a no-spin zone.
Story Quote"Leona reaches over to select a recording on her phone. The forger’s voice comes through, 'how would you handle someone like me? Would you teleport into my house at night, and slit my throat?' Mateo was secretly live-streaming the maddening conversation." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAs Kostya is picking food off plates as he's taking them to the sink, Kalisha thanks the Spouts for their hospitality, then leaves with Lucy. "We're both probably gonna go to bed soon," Oliver says. // "No problemo, I'll let myself out when I'm done," Kostya replies. #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"What? There are only five realities," Meliora claims. "Destroying four is equal to destroying all but one." // "There are only five realties," I begin, "that you know about." // "No, I think I would know if there were another parallel reality," Meliora believes. #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "You think you're sooo smart, don't ya?" // Me: "Well, that's what my doctor told me a few days after I was born…and I confirmed as much for her when I thanked her for the recognition in the form of a palindromic sonnet, which I made up on the spot. So, yeah."
Story Quote"She sticks the badge in her pocket, hooks the holster to her belt, conceals it with a blazer, and gathers the rest of the suits. In her first timeline, she would play secret agent with a neighbor kid. This experience is evidently about to become useful." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver wakes up the next morning, groggy and still tired. He would like to stay in bed, but he has to go to the bathroom, so he stumbles in, and takes care of business with his eyes closed. It's not until he's done washing his hands that he realizes the sun's out. #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"That's the deal," I say. "You take us to a universe of my choosing, and I destroy four realities within Salmonverse. If that's all you ever wanted, then take it, and stop arguing." // She narrows her eyes, trying to find the trick here, but she can't. "Okay, deal." #BraneScanner
“Joke”I have been a con artist for twenty-four years. The best con I ever pulled was when I hid a small slice of pizza underneath a larger slice of pizza in the clamshell, and only paid the cafeteria for one.
Story Quote"For the longest time, the existence of this task force remained only rumor for the general public, but it now features an overt director, which holds press conferences, and the occasional accessible budget or ethics hearing. Still, this is a big deal." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe stares at the mirror a moment, then splashes water in his face. Is he dreaming? No, he can't be dreaming. He just used the toilet, and if there's one rule about the dreaming world, it's that you can't pee in it. Or at least, that's how it seems to work for him. #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerMeliora looks around. "You will need a few more people to make this universe stable enough to cross into it physically. This is only a good start." // "I know," I say. "I have a few ideas of people whose dreams I can walk into." // "Very well. I'll see you soon." #BraneScanner
NanostoryBrilliant idea #111: who needs nacho fries when you can put fries in a bowl of nachos? You're welcome, America.
Story Quote"She nods. 'I guess it’s complicated. I have five parents, you share two of them with me, and then you have two more. Can anyone else relate to our bonkers family tree?' // 'Yeah, but not in the same way, sis.' // 'Oh, gross!' She’s laughing, though." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutNot wanting to be selfish, Oliver races into his room where Skylar is sleeping. He shakes her at the shoulders. "Wake up!" He promptly jumps over to the window and erases the shades. // "What are you doing?" she questions like an annoyed teenager. Give it a second. #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerMeliora disappears into her woods. // "What's happening?" Claire asks. "You're going to destroy realities? What does that mean? How many people will die?" // "No one's going to die," I promise. "I agreed to destroy the realities themselves, not the people in them." #BraneScanner
“Joke”I just spent twenty minutes in the dark, thinking that I was filling my water bottle up from the tap before I realized that my left hand wasn't quite in place, and all that water was just going right down the drain. Next time, I'll switch on the lights.
Story Quote"The first stop on their fake vacation is Foggy Londontown. It occurs to Mateo that he still doesn't really understand how the U.S. works in this reality, but he really doesn't know how other countries work. What might be waiting for them when they land?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar only recently became a gargoyle, so seeing the sun in the morning doesn't feel as shocking to her as it does to her brother, but she does realize it. "Oh my God. What happened?" // "I don't know. Isn't it amazing?" // "Do you think it'll last?" // "I don't." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"So you tricked her?" Cricket assumes. // "I don't understand how I could, but maybe? Or this is what she wanted all along. She's not a villain, so even though I don't know why she wants to destroy the realities, I still don't think she truly wants anyone to die." #BraneScanner
NanostoryI have here in my notes, it says "beab" means "absorb". You know, I don't drink or do drugs, but I do sleepwalk. I must have had some dream where that made sense, and I hastily wrote it down in the middle of the night. Regardless, Asleep!Me wanted you to know, and I respect that.
Story Quote"Ramses nods, and takes them down as far as this thing can go, but still don't reach the bottom. If there's any temporal energy tied to the location of Stonehenge, it's under too much pressure. It looks like this little side mission is just a dead end." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You are not an optimistic man, are ya?" she questions. // "No, not really. I have my reasons, today's development notwithstanding." // "Yeah," she says before a pause. "You should call Lucy. I'll call Kostya." // "That's a good idea, but don't you want to switch?" #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerThey all nod, including Zdano, but they're not convinced, and still worried. "Welp, I better get on it. I can't really destroy a reality on my own. I'll need some certain people's help, and not all of them can be contacted through dreams. It's about to get crowded." #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationDennis: "That's Allstate's stand. Are you in good hands?" // Me: "No, I'm not." // Dennis: "Well, we can definitely help you with that. Who is your current insurance company?" // Me: "Allstate."
Story Quote"It’s now Angela’s responsibility to make those two programs talk to each other, and dump all relevant information into a well-made report. At least, that’s what her alternate would do. Angela has it even easier, because she has also outsourced her work." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"No. Call your girl, Ollie. I know her well enough to know that she wants you to make some moves. Quit dilly-dallying, and show your interest." // "My life isn't conducive—" // "Maybe it is now, and she'll be mad if you're not as excited for the possibility as her." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerWe can't really see it from this perspective, but the world is growing around us. Before, the "universe" was but a tiny patch of land in the void. Even the sky was just a fancy metaphysical hologram on the celestial sphere. But now some real things are cropping up. #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationDate: "What would you do if a mugger came up with a gun, and demanded all of our money and jewelry?" // Me: "I would give it to them, and call the police." // Date: "I wish we could go back to the days when men were men." // Me: "Don't talk back to me, woman. Go make my dinner."
Story Quote"He gasps, but doesn’t scream. He leaves the blade in, and applies pressure. He turns around, arches his back a little, and stumbles away from her. It’s not long before passersby begin to notice that something is wrong, and then they see what is wrong." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver gives in, and unlocks his phone. As he's standing before the window, he calls Lucy, and has to hold the device away from his face when her joyful squee nearly bursts his eardrum. In a flash, the sun is gone, and Lucy and Kostya are behind him, both frowning. #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerThe forest gets larger, leading to a lake. A desert form on the other side of the prison, and on the other side of that is a city. People come out of the woodwork. These are the background dreamers. They have their own things going on, but they're just as important. #BraneScanner
“Joke”Hell, my name is Jon Thrisikstein. [Obviously, I meant to write "hello" but I missed the last letter, and I think it sounds better this way.]
Story Quote"Yes, one tracker is unaccounted for. It’s one of the microdots, and it’s presently on the move, which suggests that it has not fallen off onto the sidewalk. That is the problem with them being so tiny. To be hard to find, they have to be easy to lose." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What happened?" Oliver asks. // "Seconded," Skylar says. // Kostya sighs heavily. "Our best guess? Her." He steps to the side, revealing their new time traveling friend, Kalisha. // She tries to smile. "I believe I temporarily disabled your pattern thing…briefly." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerThere are three major types of branes. Well, four, if you count dead ones. Some are manifested by the soul of an individual in a higher tier. Some are conceived by someone's imagination. Others are unstable dreams. But if this works, it will become a stable dream. #BraneScanner
“Joke”If you put an infinite number of monkeys in an infinite number of rooms with an infinite number of typewriters, and give them an infinite amount of time, they will eventually write Shakespeare. But they'll write every episode of #TheBigBangTheory in thirty minutes.
Story Quote"Leona blinks. Racism. What he just described is racism, and he can’t see it. It’s xenophobia too. Because of Marie and Heath, the team was mostly prepared to just live here forever, but every day comes with at least one more reason to get the hell out." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"How would you have done that?" Oliver questions. // "I don't know," Kalisha says. "But your friends got me up to speed a little. You've been through some weird time stuff lately, but my arrival is the last thing you experienced. I can't explain what it might mean." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerStable dream branes are rare since they usually just collapse when the dream ends. This is basically a hybrid, which combines the two latter types of universes. It really only works when the dreamer is lucid, because they have to want it to happen. They have to try. #BraneScanner
“Joke”If you refuse to use someone's preferred pronouns, I'll just slap you, like, I don't even care. You can ban me from the Oscars for ten years if you want. Hell, ban me for life; awards are stupid.
Story Quote"So Ramses' bodies are still working for them, but in a limited capacity. He was so fortunate to have gotten her as a nurse, because someone else probably would have alerted the hierarchy. It's also a good thing doctors are just as hands-off as anywhere." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThere's an awkward silence for a hot minute. "Do you think you could do it again?" Skylar requests. // "Do what, get rid of your time bubble problem? Like I said, I don't know how." // "Have you noticed," Kostya begins, "when you time travel that it gets really hot?" #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerI keep focusing on channeling Mandy's dreamwalking ability in case it just suddenly wears off. In a matter of minutes, the universe is about the size of a planet, which is okay, but I would feel a lot safer with the rest of the solar system, including a host star. #BraneScanner
NanostoryI've finished testing my synthetic COVID spray. It's totally non-contagious, only dispenses a non-lethal variant of the coronavirus, and doesn't work on children, or vaccinated people. I'm still trying to figure out how to distribute bottles to only responsible anti-antivaxxers.
Story Quote"She comes to a stop. They can already see the border checkpoint far off in the distance, but they can still choose to go elsewhere. They have to choose now, though. Either they get back on the highway and head Southeast, or stick to the original plan." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Yeah, time travel creates this fire blast. I guess because you're moving faster than light?" // "I don't think that's how it is," Kostya says. "No one at that weird mall place those two went to said anything about time fire, did they?" // "No," the Spouts confirm. #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerI don't need this brane to be expansive enough for billions of galaxies, or billions of stars in the galaxy, or even one other star. I only need it to stabilize with a reasonable set of proper physics. The thing is, though, this process is growing out of my control. #BraneScanner
“Joke”Life has always been really difficult for me. I'm part of two worlds, and neither side really accepts me. I just think it will be easier if I come out to the public about what I truly am. Hi, I'm Nick Fisherman, and I'm half good person, and half human.
Story Quote"Now that she's alone, she can finally get to the bottom of all this. It could be anything. It could be dangerous. She's just grateful that the thing didn't pop open as soon as it found itself in her presence, because she doesn't need any more questions." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So it's just me?" Kalisha asks. "Only I do the fire thing?" // "Who have you spoken to about what you can do?" Lucy asks. // "Um…my normal friend, a guy who forged our new identities, and my new boss at the courier. Oh, and a gravedigger, but that was 12 years go." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerHere's a fun fact about dreams, normal ones are easier to build, because you don't have to concentrate on it. Lucid ones can be more powerful, but they take more work. You have to consciously grow the dreamworld. So what the hell is happening here? Who's in control? #BraneScanner
NanostoryFun fact: the Sphinx was originally facing the other direction. We moved it in about 300 CE. I was the coordinator, and it took us only six days, but that's also how the nose fell off…and how I was fired from my first job.
Story Quote"As far as she knows, the people on this team don't lie to each other. Of course, she may just be ignorant about it, and it's certainly no good reason to lie to them herself, but in this case, she probably has no choice. They have enough on their plates." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You are the only true time traveler we know of," Oliver says to Kalisha. "Yeah, maybe only you do the fire thing, which doesn't exactly explain why our time bubbles were delayed, but it could be the reason anyway. We need help, from someone who knows this stuff." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"This doesn't look like Ansutah," comes a voice from behind me. // When I turn around, I see a little girl. I don't know who she is, but I don't have very many named characters who live in Ansutah. I suppose that doesn't matter; not all characters are 'important'. #BraneScanner
“Joke”Back in April, I made a comment about how you can't call me a cannibal, because I don't consume human remains; I just use them to help cook other meats. I've since realized that, d'uh, I'm not even human, so it's not cannibalism anyway. Whew, now I can stop with all the excuses.
Story Quote"Now it’s 4:00 in the morning again, and it’s time to get a sample of this Death water, hoping that it can do what Ramses believes. If not, they’ll just travel to Croatia via the Mediterranean Sea. They’ll actually probably head that way while he works." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Can you just go back to that superhero mall?" Lucy suggests. // "They're not superheroes, but why don't we call that clinic lady?" Skylar offers. // "Yeah, I have her card in my other pants." Oliver goes to find it, but it's not in there. It must have fallen out. #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"What's your name?" Cricket says in an approachable tone. // "Adamina," the girl responds. // "Oh," I say with a sigh. "It's nice to meet you, Adamina. No, this is not Ansutah. You're dreaming." // "This feels like a real dream," she muses. // "It is," Claire says. #BraneScanner
Random NothingNo, I'm calling it Shake and Steak. Dessert comes first, that's our schtick. They can't sue me.
Story Quote"He takes it, sees that she and Angela are still okay, then sends one back, letting her know that they’re fine too. They’ve been dealing with some scifi shit as well, but it’s not enough to warrant the away team’s return home, or their bug-out protocol." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Are you the type to lose things?" Lucy asks when he returns with no calling card. // "I'm not. I can't think of the last time I couldn't find my pen, or bus pass," Oliver says. // Kostya is very confused. "Why do we think this is weird? I lose stuff all the time." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerI didn't summon Adamina here. I would never do that. She's too young to be involved in creating worlds other than the one she lives on. I'm worried that there are other forces at play. Like I've said before, other people are dreamwalkers, and not all of them good. #BraneScanner
Random NothingThe really cool thing about me is I don't have to eat every day. This under here isn't fat, it's actually just a bunch of body armor. I'm a secret agent.
Story Quote"That'll only entice him to learn more about time travel, and find out what else is out there, but it was a pretty cool way to end the so-called conversation, so she just couldn’t help herself. She walks out of the building, and goes home to her family." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Of course YOU lose things," Lucy muses. // "It's okay," Oliver says. "I'm sure if I go back to the superhero mall, we can get back in touch with her." // "Don't call it that," Skylar requests. // "Why does that bother you?" Oliver asks her. // "Because they aren't." #OliverSpout
Brane Scanner"Is your brother here as well?" I ask. // "I don't know," Adamina answers, looking around. "I don't see any Maramon, though." // That's for the best, I think to myself, but do not say out loud. Maramon aren't evil, but they're problematic, and would endanger my dog. #BraneScanner
NanostoryMe: "A prank? I spent two hours scanning those documents. Staples. NESTED staples. Tiny slips of paper that I had to put on the glass one by one. You just deleted them all from the server before I could save them locally. Welp, they're due first thing in the morning. Have fun."
Story Quote"She goes on, 'you don’t have to accelerate the cloning process using science. You could transfer Heath’s mind to a baby, and then provert his age, just like you did on The Stage with that witch from the other universe.' // They’re just staring at her." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar goes on. "I don't know what that mall is for, but it seems to just be a restaurant and a night club. I didn't get the impression that they help people. You cannot be a superhero if you do not help people. If Ollie and I had powers, that's what we would do." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerAdamina has the ability to expand the scope of an entire universe, or really any environment she happens to be in. I don't need any help with that, but she's here, so there's nothing I can do to stop it. Her brother can create monsters, and we truly don't want that. #BraneScanner
Fake ConversationCashier: "That'll be forty roses—I mean dollars. Sorry, old habits." // Me: "Oh yeah, we've met." // My Wife: "How do you know each other?" // Me: "Uhh…she was a florist. Yeah, that's it." // My Wife: "Why would you PAY a florist in roses?" // Me: "Don't worry about it, honey."
Story Quote"Leona has no response to this. Winona is making too much sense. They have done things they didn’t want to, but they did do them, and they were never technically forced to. Perhaps one day they’ll build trust. But for now, she’s accepting the lava lamps." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"This really does bother you?" Oliver asks. // "I thought that's why we left, because they're wasting their talents. I mean, what could the eighth day of the week dimension be used for? I can't think of anything to put on that list, but screwing around isn't on it." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerAdamina and Esen are not blood-related, but they were born around the same time, are growing up together in the monster universe, and have mysteriously complementary time powers, so everyone treats them like that. Some link them romantically, though, like the Bible. #BraneScanner
Dumb Ditty🎵Well if so, my friends, you got hate // (Oh we got hate) // Right here in every city // (Right here in every city) // Ya got all this Hate and that rhymes with "Kate" and that stands for kool! // (That stands for kool!)🎵
Story Quote"She only does stop when a partially buried rock gets in her way. It cuts open her hand, and breaks at least a few bones. She’s holding her now limp wrist with her other hand, and trying to breathe through the pain as Heath runs down as fast as he can." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Well," Oliver begins, "the people at the clinic seemed to be doing some good. Since I can't find her business card, that non-superhero mall is our only lead. I can just go there myself, though." // "No, I wanna go too," Skylar says. // "So do we," Kostya declares. #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerI'm not saying that my stories inspired the Judeo-Christian proof texts, but when you're dealing with different universes, you can't think of time as a straight line. It's more like an infinite chaos of wavy and curly lines. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? #BraneScanner
“Joke”I'm still so amazed that #GoodCharlotte never made a movie in 2002 about the band's members living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland where music is illegal, going up against their rival, Bad Charlotte. Such a wasted opportunity.
Story Quote"As dense as he is, he should've realized right away that she was asking him to teach her. Marie does have a bike that she stores above their parking space in the underground garage. 'I could teach you.' // 'Would you? I would love that!' She’s excited." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"They don't seem to be okay with regular people being there," Oliver tells Kostya and Lucy. "Not to offend." // "You said the restaurant owners were just regular people. I'm sure it'll be okay. You didn't see any time cops, did you?" // "Well, no, but—" // "Great!" #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerAnyway, unless I can figure out how to wake up Adamina in her own world, this universe is going to keep growing and growing. Yes, that technically makes the brane more stable, but it also adds more variables to complicate things too much. I need my dog to be safe. #BraneScanner
Dumb Ditty🎤My garter snake might still want some, even without buns, hon // I'm not that picky, I'm just so lonely // I don't care that much what you look like, as long as you're open-minded // I am a little weird, but generally a pretty nice guy // Give me a shot, and I'll show you🎤
Story Quote"She understood the purpose of placing certain people in hock. Just because you die, doesn’t mean you automatically become a good person. But she also hated how the Limiteds were treated, sometimes as if they had never been released from prison at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"How about this?" Lucy begins. "You go back to the mall, and we'll wait on the street. Ask someone of authority if we can come in too, since we already know about all this stuff, and we'll play it by ear." // "That's risky too. Maybe you were never meant to know." #OliverSpout
Brane ScannerSince I'm not capable of waking up a dreamer—unless of course, I'm in the same physical room as them—I'm going to need some help. Like I've mentioned before, there are other, much more experienced, dreamwalkers. Maybe it's finally time to call in for reinforcements. #BraneScanner
NanostoryI've saved up all of my vacation so I can take a month-long trip out of town. My roommate plays "Wake Me Up When September Ends" literally all month long—every second of every day—except on the 21st, when he temporarily switches to a certain Earth, Wind, and Fire song.
Story Quote"Marie throws the car into autolaning mode. It’s not full autonomy, but it can stay between two lane markings, and not run into the car ahead. If it does notice itself approaching another car too quickly, it will come off the gas, and beep at the driver." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutThey spend a little more time planning their next move. Come sunset the next night, Lucy and Kostya have dinner together at Richard and Allen's restaurant, while Oliver, Skylar, and Kalisha go in the secret time traveler entrance to ask if anyone can help the latter. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaLet's see, I'm channeling Mandy Alto's dreamwalking ability right now, so I feel like it wouldn't be smart to summon him to this brane. Or maybe it would be perfect. Maybe it would be easier for me to maintain the link if the target is standing right next to me? #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryWho here is coming to my 10,000th birthday party on Sunday? No, this isn't another joke about me being an immortal time traveler. This is serious. When I was eight years old, I decided to have a birthday party literally every day, and it's still going strong, even after 27 years.
Story Quote"Heath has grown weary of being away from his wife so much. He’s noticed that she’s the one who keeps doing the leaving, even though at one point, he was meant to go off on these adventures with Mateo. Once they get past this, things are going to change." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe place appears to be deserted when they get there. According to how Richard and Allen described it, there is no such thing as a rush time, or predictable down times. Sometimes there are a lot of time travelers to deal with, and sometimes there really isn't anyone. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaNo, it's too risky. Dreamwalkers belong to a bloodline, but most of them aren't my characters, per se. My best bet is Sandy Clausen, and her band of arguably innocent escaped prisoners. She's actually from my home universe, and I'm cognizant of our future history. #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryIf the King of the World made a law that everyone would be executed who disagreed with the law that everyone who disagreed with it should be executed, humans would go extinct within the decade. We are a rebellious species, even when conformity is in everyone's best interests.
Story Quote"They continue for another kilometer or so until they hear rushing water. This area is surprisingly remote, while it’s pretty heavily developed in the main sequence. The trek was rough, but they have come to a clearing, where they find a source of water." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe restaurant looks closed. They call Lucy and Kostya, who confirm that the regular person side of it is closed too, with no indication why. The Spouts and Kalisha continue towards the Salmonday Club, but the door is locked, and no one answers when they knock on it. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaLet's see, how would I do this? When I say that I need to summon people here, I don't exactly know how that works. Do I just concentrate on them, or is there more to it? I just now realize that everyone here has been patiently waiting for me to get out of my head. #DreamTeamAlpha
Random NothingAll chickens are girls, yet they all got wangs.
Story Quote"Marie tries to jump them back to the spring, and then back to Kansas City. Finally she tries to return to the Springfield airport, where they left the car, but nothing. If she was the one responsible for teleporting them before, she can’t do it again." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThere are a couple of other businesses here too, but the post office, and the place across from it are also closed and dark. They go farther down and come across what looks like a bank. This seems to be open. They can see a woman working at a desk around the corner. #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Sorry," I finally say. "I've been trying to figure this out." // "That's okay," Cricket tells me sincerely. "We understand you have a lot going on." // "Yeah. I really appreciate you being here for me. I know that it's just for me to get a copy of my dog back." #DreamTeamAlpha
PoemYou can't spell TEACHER without ACHE. Or TEA, or EAR, or REACH, or RATE. Or RAT, or TEAR, or CHAT, or CHER. Or CHAR, or TAR, or TREE, or EACH. Or HEART, or CHART, or THEE, or CHEAT, Or THE, or ARC, or RACE, or ACE. Or CAR, or CARE, or HEAR, or CRATE. Or CART, or CREATE, or ACRE.
Story Quote"Mateo and Ramses wait in the vehicle while the others go out and attempt to make sense of all of this. A couple of hours later, Angela returns alone. 'They’re gone.' // 'What do you mean, they’re gone? They’ve gone where?' // Angela catches her breath." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"We're closed," she says, not looking up from her work. // "That's fair," Oliver says. "We're here to talk to someone else. Is everyone closed?" // Now she looks up. "Yeah, pretty much." // "Why?" // "Because of you, my dears," she says, "and those friends of yours." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"I understand what it's like to care for a pet," Zdano tells me gently. "I understand what it's like to outlive it." I actually didn't know that about him, but it makes sense. Vampires live a long time, which they often use to amass experiences. I frown at Daisy. #DreamTeamAlpha
Random NothingI Quit My Job and Now I Make $600,000 a Week in Passive Income By Using These Three Simple Tricks That Doctors Don't Want You to Know About
Story Quote"Getting into Birket isn't a problem if you plan on going straight to the colony, which some people do as refugees to escape their lives in other regions. Getting out, of course, is much harder. If not done by prison break, it entails a lot of paperwork." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What do my friends have to do with this?" Oliver questions. // The banker stands up. "Telling others about what you are is not illegal. It's your choice. Or sometimes it's not, I don't know. Sometimes people just get caught. But there are consequences either way." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"What do you need to do?" Claire asks. "What do you need from us?" // "Just more patience," I say. "I need to figure out how to contact a future associate. Pulling random people into a dream is intuitive. Seeking audience with another dreamwalker may take work." #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”Alexander Skarsgård is five foot two. He's always standing on an apple crate, even when he's just walking around town in real life. Another fun fact, Sookie's original name in the book was Spooky, but the author was asked to change it before it could be published.
Story Quote"Overall, it's not a bad place to live, which is why some people try to cross the border intentionally. In some cases, it's the best path to asylum, even if that ends up being somewhere else. There's only so much room, though, so they don't encourage it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver looks back at the empty mall. "I don't understand." // "You came here last timeline. Your friends were welcomed, but there was an altercation with one of the guests from upstairs. It wasn't Mr. Orlov's fault, but we felt the need to reset the timeline anyway." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"I have already arrived." // I spin around to find a new woman in my backyard. "Sandy Clausen?" // "Correct," she says. // "Where is your team?" // "They're awake. I didn't think I would need backup. Do I?" // "Of course not," I promise. "We're all friends here." #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationQ: What did the basketball coach say when Angela got the ball, but wasn't able to make a basket from her position? // A: "That's it, Bassett, pass it!"
Story Quote"It will take far too long to canvas the entire country. The government representative who handed them this mission said that this place doesn't take census, but they have to keep records of some kind. Otherwise, how did he ever find the four of them?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Let me get this straight," Oliver begins. "We came here, Kostya got into a fight with someone, so you just turned back time, and everyone else evacuated?" // "Well, I didn't do anything," the banker explains. "I don't really care, which is why I didn't evacuate." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Why am I here?" Sandy asks. // "This little girl." I show her Adamina. "She's provoking the expansion of this brane. I can't wake her up in her home universe. I was hoping you could help with that." // Sandy stares at Adamina. "That's not really something I do." #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryWhen your internet goes down, it's usually because the worker at your local internet distribution center has let go of the lever that keeps the network data flowing through the pipes. When you "reset" your modem, all you're doing is delivering an electrical shock to that worker.
Story Quote"So the Honeycutts know more than they have let on so far. Or maybe they've been letting it on just fine, but the team has been blind to the truth. There are people here who are aware of time travel, and now they know that there are other time travelers." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar sighs. "Look, we just came here for help reaching out to that special clinic. Do you have someone's number, or one of those magical keycards that opens a portal door?" // "I don't myself," the banker says, "but I might be able to help. Give me just a moment." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaThat's an issue. I need this brane to be stable enough for me to return, but not complex enough for it to become well-known. If it exists, others could come here, and then it becomes part of the grander story, and that's just too much. "Please, it has to stop." #DreamTeamAlpha
Random NothingBrackish water? Uh, no, you don't need to call it that. When you mix freshwater with saltwater…you get saltwater.
Story Quote"It seems unlikely that the limitation would be built into the document when it was created. It probably has more to do with it presently being in this reality, which they know handles time and time travel in weird ways. Still, this should help enough." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Hey, what's your name?" Skylar asks the banker as she's getting up to open a file cabinet. // "Alexina McGregor." // Oliver leans back to look at the name of the bank over the doorway. "Gregorios. Your grandfather build this place?" // Alexina laughs. "Nope. I did." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaSandy sighs, reluctant to help. She looks up at the sky as if it's possible to see how expansive the universe is at this point. "You've been calling in a lot of favors, haven't you?" // "I suppose I have," I admit. // "You think we owe you because you created us?" #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryYour phone's battery level indicator uses roughly 4% of your battery on its own. If you want to save that energy, just turn off that feature, and fly blind. It may be uncomfortable to not know how much time you have left, but trust me, it's worth it.
Story Quote"They don’t know how to respond. Mateo definitely can’t explain the purpose himself. When he’s heard about Arctic and Antarctic bases in the main sequence, he has always just accepted that the scientists in question have good reasons to do what they do." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I know," Alexina continues, "you think of banks as these old institutions, but actually people are starting them every year. At any rate, mine is new from your perspective, but to time travelers, it is the oldest bank in histories, and it has never been cracked." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaSandy doesn't bother waiting for my response, which I had yet to come up with, but I would like to think I would have said no…and meant it. She leans over and addresses Adamina. "Would you like to wake up now?" // "I guess so," Adamina replies. // "Good enough." #DreamTeamAlpha
Dumb DittyWill the real Slim Shady please lie down (please lie down, please lie down)? / We don't need any more raps right now (raps right now, raps right now) / Everybody here's trying to sleep (-ing to sleep, -ing to sleep) / Shut your eyes and make no peep (make no peep, make no peep)
Story Quote"He looks enough like him, given the poor quality of the photo, but maybe there are better ones out there. The Honeycutts may have deliberately made this difficult on them, for whatever ridiculous reason. If so, then they'll see right through the ruse." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Ah, here it is." Alexina takes a packet out of its folder, and sets it on the desk before Oliver. // It looks like an application. "What is this?" // "I can't help you unless you open an account," she explains. // "Uhh…I'm not rich, or anything." // "You will be." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaSandy steps back from the group, and shuts her eyes, spreading her arms to either side like the Vitruvian man, letting technicolors radiate from her body, fly out in all directions, and fade to the distance. The lights keep shooting out until she just disappears. #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”This life demands a lot of me. I have to remember every single day to periodically go into the bathroom, and stand there for two to ten minutes so none of the humans gets suspicious. I just wish I could be myself, ya know? No eyebrows, no pitiful twelve-lobed brain; just me.
Story Quote"She steps away from the group, as before, trying to seek an ally. Her stride is wider than normal, reminiscent of a wedding party gracefully drifting down the aisle. She periodically alters direction, hoping to catch a scent, for lack of a better term." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver takes a glance at the application, which doesn't seem all that standard. "I don't understand." // "This is an investment bank," Alexina begins. "We put your money into lots of little places all over time and space, which we factually know to be successful." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaAdamina turns technicolor as well, but to a much less spendid degree. It doesn't look like it hurts when she leaves this universe, and wakes up in her own. "Thank you," I utter into the aether, confident that Sandy can hear it. It's time for us all to do the same. #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "What's your favorite movie of all time?" // Me: "Thor: The Dark World."
Story Quote"That's okay. They weren't holding out hope for a mechanic who can work on a vehicle that quadruples as a car, boat, submarine, and airplane. They just need to contact someone who may be able to help, and as remote as this settlement is, they have that." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"This goes against every rule of time travel," Oliver says, disgusted. "You're not allowed to use it for personal gain." // Alexina chuckles. "I've memorized every single one of Leona's Rules of Time Travel, friend. That's not on it." // "Who's Leona?" Skylar asks. #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Now that that's done," I say to my friends, "we should wake up and get on with it." // "Has as much time passed in the real world as has passed in this dreamworld?" Claire asks. // "Probably not," I answer. // She crouches and pets Daisy. "Then what's the hurry?" #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryCOVID-19 isn't called that because it was first discovered in 2019; that's just a coincidence. It's actually because Patient Zero was nineteen years old at the time. In fact, it was his birthday. You learn something fake every day.
Story Quote"Unfortunately, that may be their only hope if Ramses can't get the Olimpia back in full working order. Even with the lantern, he might not have the tools he needs to accomplish this. There are a lot of missing parts here, strewn all over the North Pole." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Who's Leona?" Alexina echoes. "She's…a legend. Now. If you apply for an account, I can help, and be your advocate. If not, we're done here. I don't talk this long to people who aren't my clients. They have my priority…always." // Oliver and Skylar exchange a look. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaSo we spend the afternoon in my backyard. I materialize a smoker to cook some lab-grown meat. Well, Zdano smokes it, because while I've seen my father do it, I never paid enough attention to replicate the magic. Eating as a hologram is an interesting experience. #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationHost: "Would you like something to clean? We have baby wipes, wet wipes…" // Me: "Got anything stronger?" // Host: "A few alcohol wipes, and a canister of disinfecting wipes I was saving for a special occasion." // Me: "Sure." // Host: "Would you like that in a sink, or toilet?"
Story Quote"No word on where they were, or what they were doing, but it was a relief just to make contact. Their communications may be compromised in more ways than one, so they'll wait to debrief each other in person. They sure have a lot to divulge themselves." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver is still unsure. Alexina decides to say one more thing. "Don't fret, it's just an application, not a contract signed in blood. Chances are you'll be rejected. I don't accept everyone, or it would be chaos. But even if you're only a pending client, I can help." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaThat's what's so great about dreams. They are real in every sense that matters, and not in the ones that don't. I can eat as much as I want here, and not worry about gaining weight. It's consequence free…at least for us. Our actions still have consequences here. #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”Dumbo's Number refers to the number of elephants with whom you are able to maintain meaningful relationships.
Story Quote"He shakes his head. He can't believe she did that. It was so stupid and dangerous, and she should know better. He made contact. He used the proper language to let her know that they were fine. She should have trusted that. She should have trusted him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver borrows a pen from Alexina's cup. Most of the questions are weird, like if he's ever smelled fudge when there is no fudge, and the only two possible responses are I Can't Smell and Only on Tuesdays and July. It also asks him to list all of his future names. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaConjuring a smoker and lawn furniture out of nothing, which people do in their dreams all the time, may sound like fun, but it takes a toll on reality. Physics—even when you're the one in charge of writing the physical laws—doesn't really like things like that. #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”It's been my dream to start a Twitter account where I post things that happened in the past on a given day 10, 20, 25, etc. years ago. I have found that people really respond to how monumentally stupid and pointless that all is, because the human race does not deserve salvation.
Story Quote"They knew it would cause problems, but they didn't think these people would take it this far. The second Amir was so interested in getting out of Birket that he gleefully accepted the risk. Marie is glad that Leona isn't here, but she could have helped." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOther questions include, who was the president of the U.S. in your last reality; how many times have you tried to kill Adolf Hitler; to your knowledge, did you attend the Matic-Delaney wedding; and do you know who wrote the Jumper books, we've been looking for him. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaThe impromptu backyard party shouldn't have bent reality enough to cause any significant issues, but it seems that it has. The sky begins to sporadically shift from day to night. Wind feels like it's coming up from the ground. And people start to disappear on me. #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”I watched six whole seasons of #TheBigBangTheory before someone told me that it was a comedy.
Story Quote"Short bursts. They can stay in the air for a limited amount of time, which is what has allowed them to cross the distance as fast as they have so far, but they're running out of power, and they need a new tactic. Leona may have come with the solution." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver shrugs off this scifi shit, and just fills out the application. Had it asked for a list of his sexual partners, or a detailed account of his medical history, he might have balked, but as weird as these questions are, they seem just silly enough to be harmless. #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaOne by one, everyone at my party disappears, until all that's left are me and my dog. Daisy pulls her bottom lip inward with her teeth in a way that makes it look as though she too knows that something is wrong. A technicolor figure begins to take shape before us. #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryBoss: "No! I don't want you eating at your desk! It's unsanitary, and gross. No one wants to see that. You can eat on your own time. Clock out for lunch, and leave. Speaking of which, your lunch break starts now. Be back in five minutes. You still have seven hours in your shift."
Story Quote"It can't be their friends. After all of her experiences in war simulations, Marie can tell that at least two opposing sides are shooting at each other, and that's not something that Leona would tolerate. She would come in surgically and rather quietly." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver finishes the application, and slides it back over. "Hey, come back!" he calls over to Skylar and Kalisha, who found a couple of scooters in the corner, and have been spending the time scooting around. // Alexina takes the application, and promptly shreds it. #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Who is that?" Cricket asks. // I look over at him. "I thought you woke up." // "I control when I do and don't sleep," he explains. "No one else can make that decision for me." // I nod, grateful to not be alone. "Daisy, go to your place." She runs into the house. #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryMy new YouTube series delves into the world of cutting-edge science and technology. Co-hosted by me, and my future self from the year 2052, who can't talk at all, because he doesn't want to disrupt the spacetime continuum, we hope to change your mind about what's possible.
Story Quote"They all look fine; too perfect, really. Sitting there like this, they're reminding her of the kids in a teen comedy about a rager they threw before having to clean everything up in preparation for their parents' return. 'What did you do?' she asks them. #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Let me guess," Oliver begins. "You're gonna tell me that the application never mattered; that you were testing me in some other way?" // "No," Alexina replies with a laugh. "That's not only a shredder. It's also a scanner. Your information is currently processing." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"I'm getting a bad feeling about this," I ask Cricket just as the technicolor figured is almost fully formed. "Do you have any combat skills whatsoever?" // "I don't," he answers. "We're pacifists." // "I knew that, but sometimes…that equates to a quiet power." #DreamTeamAlpha
Random NothingDr. Stranger Angel in the Multiverse of New World Things.
Story Quote"She was reluctant to hand over the information, citing a desire to protect Andile from further disruption of her life. The plan was evidently to get her out of town, much in the way a witness protection agency would. Leona has hard time believing that." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina sits back down at her desk, and interlocks her fingers. "But that's enough for now. What can I help you with? Why did you want to get into the Time Clinic?" // "It's our…pattern," Oliver begins. "It's been changed. We think that it was our new friend here." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaThe figure finishes manifesting in this universe, and we can see him as he is. Once again, I do not recognize him, but either way, I recall Leona's Rules of Time Travel, Rule number 15; don't antagonize the antagonist. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Tavis," I say. #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”My new company researches and develops state of the fart whoopee cushion technology.
Story Quote"She has met other versions of people before; even of herself, but this one is a lot different. This Leona didn't spend hardly any time with Mateo, and never built a team. She and Andile have pretty much been alone this whole time. That changes a person." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It changed how?" Alexina asks. // "It was delayed," Skylar explains. "We woke up in the middle of the day. THEN our time bubbles formed." // "Sunrise to sundown," Oliver adds. "It's always been that way…until once when we came here, and later after we met Kalisha." #OliverSpout
Dream Team AlphaThe man sneers at me. "Tavis," he echoes. "As in…The Superintendent?" // "That's right," I confirm. // "Did you make this universe yourself?" // It's a v-brane." // "It's a stable v-brane," he corrects. // "Yes, and I would ask you to leave it that way…Avery." #DreamTeamAlpha
NanostoryLeeches are the only species on the entire planet that doesn't procreate in any way, shape or form. As soon as they evolved, they spread to number in the trillions, and have been around for billions of years. Over time, their population has only decreased, and only ever can.
Story Quote"They've had so many missions since they've come here. Most of them were impromptu, and most of the rest were sidetracked…sometimes by one of the impromptu missions. They really need to stick to the plan for this one, and follow through. It's important." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Hold on," Alexina begins, "your pattern was changed two different times? Once when you were here, and also when you were out there?" // "Yeah," Skylar confirms. // "That's interesting. Client or no, now I want to help. What could the common denominator have been?" #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Hm, I got the impression that you didn't know who I was," Avery says. // "I didn't…until you opened your mouth. Besides, the list of dreamwalkers is a short one." // "Fair deduction," Avery decides. "But don't worry anyway. I'm not here to mess with your stuff." #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”Your RideSauce driver has arrived at your pickup location. You have thirty seconds to get in, or your driver will depart without you. Rest assured, he's GOING to the destination, no matter what. Whether or not he steals your identity, and assumes your life, is entirely up to you.
Story Quote"It’s a two day trip from Kansas City to Provo, Utah, with a stop in the middle in Aurora, Colorado. They can’t take The Olimpia, because it’s still in need of some repair, which Ramses is doing during his free time. He never takes any actual free time." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina rests her chin in her hand to think. Then it's almost as if she realizes that Kalisha is here. "Wait, who are you?" // "I'm Kalisha." // "Oh, Quickfire." // "What?" // "Yeah, okay. The answer is obviously temporal energy." // "Yes, do go on," Skylar urges. #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Why are you here?" Cricket asks. He's still a pacifist, but he's sneering at Avery like a protective boyfriend. Is that what he is? Is he my boyfriend? // "I was just curious," Avery claims. "Apparently this brane is protected against both Maramon and Ochivari?" #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”My dreams are mostly about getting pinched.
Story Quote"They have a chance this time to do it differently, to make it far easier on themselves. Back in those days, time travelers were time travelers, and teleporters were teleporters, but they have learned so much about reality, the lines have been blurred." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Places like the Time Clinic run on temporal energy. You can use it to manipulate time, of course, but you can also just use it to keep the lights on. That tells me there's a leak. My guess is that when Kalisha travels, she channels more of it than she needs too." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"I wasn't aware of that," I say. // "Well, perhaps you were simply not conscious of it, but it's what you wanted. You wanted to build a universe free from certain threats. Imagine if you harnessed such power. Imagine if you insulated other branes in the same way." #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationMe: "Hey, I can't pay you your bribe this week. I really want to remodel my kitchen, so I'm saving up." // My parole officer: "Uhh…you don't cook." // Me: "Don't be so nitpicky."
Story Quote"They're both surprised to see each other. Neither of them knew that the other was in the same prison as them. Their memories are a little fuzzy, so they drink some water, and rest, before they can launch into their respective stories. Mateo goes first." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So temporal energy stops our patterns?" Skylar asks. // "Oh, well…it shouldn't," Alexina replies. "I don't know why that would do that for you. That's about as far as I can take you. You were right to seek out the Time Clinic. They might have the answers for you." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Mr. Ron," I say, "it almost sounds like you're suggesting some kind of team up, eh?" // "Would that be so weird?" Avery questions. // "For me, yes, but not because I've painted you as a villain." // Avery nods. "It's because you are the one doing the painting." #DreamTeamAlpha
“Joke”I think it's absolutely INSANE that the quidditch association, or whatever, wanted to distance themselves from Rowling the Transphobic by changing the name of the sport as it's played in the real world, but then they just landed on terfball.
Story Quote"Time travelers or no—part of their group, or no—these people need help. They are the only ones in a position to do it, and if they didn't swap places with their alternate selves, then the prison would have heightened security after the first escapes." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Does that mean you'll get us into the Time Clinic?" Oliver asks. // "Yeah, I can do that. Hold on one second." Alexina takes an actual true-to-life rolodex from a drawer, and starts flipping through it. "Ah, here it is," she says once she finds the right one. "Hm." #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Are ya mad, bro?" I ask him. // Avery laughs. "No, I get it. Out of everyone in the bulkverse, I understand where you're coming from the most. I won't retaliate or anything, but I will leave you with a warning." // "Be careful what you say next," Cricket warns. #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "What would you call these containers, and what are those things on your lawn?" // Me: "Totes..my goats."
Story Quote"It wouldn't be any of their business what they allegedly did to get themselves into a special isolated section of the prison under normal circumstances, but since the team broke them out, it doesn't seem crazy to ask. But are they entitled to an answer?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Hm, what?" Skylar asks. "Is there something wrong with the phone number?" // "No, there's no number. There's usually not. This is just…hold on one more second. Alexina gets up from her desk, and goes through the employee-only door. She returns with a defibrillator. #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"I am not the threat here," Avery says defensively, but calmly too. "Nor are the Ochivari and the Maramon. As a v-brane, they would have little use for this universe, but there are others you need to be looking out for. I'm not sure that you're cognizant of them." #DreamTeamAlpha
Random NothingWhy do people use cups, bowls, and plates? Why don't you just hold your food in place with your telekinesis?
Story Quote"No place on Earth is safe from their enemies, but this is still the better choice. They have outgrown the Ponce de Leon, especially with the newcomers, who may or may not be staying. It's in need of decor, but it will do nicely. Ramses done did good." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Wwwwhat are you gonna do with that?" Oliver asks, eyeing the dangerous equipment. // "This is how we reach out to the Time Clinic. You can't just call them on the phone. They don't necessarily exist in this point in time." // "Okay…" // "So. Who here likes cheese?" #OliverSpout
Dream Team Alpha"Okay, I'll bite," I say, "who is this greater bulkverse threat that I don't even know about yet?" // "That's enough, Avery." It's Sandy, she's back. She and Avery are enemies, but it's complicated. // "Hold on a minute," I ask her. // "No, thanks. Dream's over." #DreamTeamAlpha
Fake ConversationMe: "Is that the #iPhone 8?" // Friend: "No, it's the newest one, #iPhone14." // Me: "Oh, and that's…better?" // Friend: *frowns bashfully* *listlessly kicks the dirt* "No, not really."
Story Quote"He's not judging her for what she did to get by. They've all done things. He's only questioning her choice to keep it from them. The government has been weird with them from the start, which doesn't make sense, given her position. Why wasn't she honest?" #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver Spout"Will this be dangerous?" Oliver asks. // Alexina looks down at the defibrillator in her hands. "I can't say that it won't be. It shouldn't get to the point where I press this button, but there's no guarantee. It's probably the riskiest contact method I've heard of." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownFaster than it happened for Adamina, Sandy jolts me awake from inside the dream. I fall out of bed, and find myself being helped up by Claire and Medavorken. I had forgotten he was here. He didn't join our dream. Cricket is waking up too, but with far less trouble. #ExitStageDown
NanostoryEvery once in a while, I nod knowingly towards empty space. I'm actually doing this to acknowledge my future self, who is sometimes trillions of years old. This isn't supernatural or sci-fi, I'm simply confident he will exist, and if he does, he'll know I did, and can nod back.
Story Quote"Reaver is looking at the document on Leona’s screen, but not really. // 'What is it?' Leona asks. // 'How did you do this?' // 'I’m afraid I don’t understand.' // 'How did you get so smart? I barely passed my high school math classes,' she clarifies." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"It doesn't matter if you press the button," Skylar says. "If you put those pads on his chest, the machine won't let you shock him, because it will detect a perfectly normal heart rate." // Alexina grimaces. "Um…they don't go on his chest." // "Still won't matter." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"What happened?" Claire asks. "We couldn't wake you." // "That's a potential downside to going into a v-brane," I explain. "A normal dream is unstable, so it's easy to get out of, but a stable one feels like a regular universe, so leaving it can take extra effort." #ExitStageDown
“Joke”If I were ever in a swordfight, instead of letting my opponent hit my sword with their sword, I think I would probably hit their body with my sword.
Story Quote"They leave Winona’s apartment, and head for Bridgette’s, which looks strikingly similar, as if they used the same architect and designer. Or perhaps it’s some common political aesthetic called senatorial modern. She’s surprised and excited to see them." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar goes on, "the machine measures a particular kind heart rhythm, not just no heart rate. Put the pads wherever you want, Oliver will be fine." // "If you say so," Alexina responds. She leaves for the break room for cheese, and the supply room for adhesive tape. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"Is everything okay?" Medavorken asks. "You have been asleep for hours." // "Everything will be fine," I tell him. "Does everybody at least feel rested?" They either nod, or don't protest. "Good. Then our ride should be arriving any moment now." I sit on the bed. #ExitStageDown
“Joke”I'm starting an OnlyFans where I'll post naked photos of myself to make money, but you CAN'T leak them to the rest of the internet, okay? Promise?
Story Quote"Since his stuff is still here, he's probably coming back, and if he doesn't, there is nothing more they can do to find him unless they get more updated intel. The only thing to do now is stake the place out. It could take days, they better get a room." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina spreads the melted cheese onto the AED pads, and has Skylar hold them in place on Oliver's temples while she tapes them on. Once they're ready, she can say her line. "There's cheese on these! Who has been making grilled cheese with the defibrillator paddles?" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI'm actually still very tired. The whole point of dreamwalking is to allow your conscious self to move about another world while your brain still undergoes all the stuff it needs to do to wind down from the day, and prepare for the next. That didn't happen with me. #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: *accidentally spills all the alcohol in the gash* "Whoa, why aren't you screaming in agony? Is it just water?" // Me: "Oh no, pain and I have known each other a long time. We have an understanding. It does whatever it wants to me, and in return, I get nothing."
Story Quote"Alt!Mateo sighs, and sits up quickly, immediately regretting straining his still healing body, but pushing through it. 'What has me upset? I killed someone, Matt!' He realizes that he doesn’t want to be so loud in public, but no one seems to have heard." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Oh wait, *sandwiches," Alexina goes on. "Let me start again. There's cheese on these! Who has been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibrillator paddles? Congratulations, you just killed a man!" Then she lifts her finger, and slowly heads for the button. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI try to stand again, but fall back onto the bed. // "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Claire says, protecting my head from hitting the headboard. // "It's okay, I think I just need some water." // "I'll get it," Medavorken volunteers. // "There's more to it," Cricket believes. #ExitStageDown
Random NothingHere's a real stumper for ya. What's the plural for the title "Miss"? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!
Story Quote"He gingerly sets the hat upon his own head, and frowns when he looks in a nearby beauty mirror to find that it still doesn’t work for him. It is unclear how he knew beforehand what it was supposed to do, or that it was supposed to do anything at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Wait!" Now Skylar's nervous. // "You said it would be okay," Alexina reminds her. // "I know, it's just—" // "If this is what we have to do to get answers, help Kalisha, and help ourselves, then I'll just do it." Oliver pushes the button…then he starts to convulse. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI'm feeling lightheaded, and it's only getting worse. "Is this real life?" I know that it's a non sequitur, but in my head, it makes sense. // "Tavis, what's wrong?" Cricket asks. // "Get away from me, Peyton Manning!" I shout at him as I'm pushing him off of me. #ExitStageDown
Random NothingHey, if nobody's made the following joke yet, then I want to claim it as my own. // My parole officer: "Do you know the name of that new Jordan Peele movie?" // Me: "Nope."
Story Quote"This is her best opportunity to demonstrate her value, and she considers it part of her job here. They didn't specifically say that it was, but they didn't tell her what else to do, probably because they didn't truly believe that it would ever come up." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe last thing Oliver hears is Skylar asking him to stop joking around, and Alexina informing her that he's not. The defibrillator really is going off, and an electrical shock really is being sent into his head. They pull the pads away, but it's too late. He's dead. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI make one last effort to stand up, and get out of bed. I'm waving my hands forward, trying to keep people away from me. They keep their distance, even Cricket, because they don't know what's going on. "Maggie, I'll find you," I quote. Then all I see is darkness. #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationInsurance Company: "Congratulations! You have been selected to participate in an exclusive customer survey! Question Number 1: what can we do to make your experiences with us better?" // Me: "You can STOP SENDING ME SURVEYS!"
Story Quote"She examines it, with her eyes, and with her fingers. She holds it open like the start of Cat’s Cradle. She tries to ball it up, but it’s not really flexible enough. Finally she twists the clasp open, and separates the two ends, peering at one of them." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver wakes up to find himself sprawled out in the middle of a cool babbling brook. Intellectually, he knows that he should be worried about what's going on, but this is probably the most comfortable he's ever been. More importantly, he notices that the sun is out. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI wake to find myself sprawled out in the middle of a warm, dried out creek. I can feel the heat coming from the ground under me. It's not oven temperatures, but it's uncomfortable, and I feel lucky just to be wearing clothes. I also don't think I'm really awake. #ExitStageDown
“Joke”I have decided to dedicate the rest of my years on this Earthly plane to solving life's greatest mysteries, like where are all the aliens if the universe is so vast and old, and what causes Alzheimer's disease, and why is @taylorswift13 in #TheGiver?
Story Quote"They can't just take it from her. It's an unwritten rule in their world. Even the most villainous of villains don't steal things from people, if only because the worst of them are usually too powerful to exert the effort it would take to care that much." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe should be getting up, but what's the rush? He's enjoying the view, and the calm. It ends abruptly when splashy footsteps approach. They get faster and harder until a woman is hovering over him. "Hey, are you hurt?" // "No, I'm fine," he replies. "It's nice here." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownThis is another dream, but it can't be mine. I'm just a visitor now, walking through it. Someone must have summoned me here, because I certainly didn't come on purpose, and I should have lost the dreamwalking ability after I woke up minutes ago. Who did this to me? #ExitStageDown
Random NothingIf you're looking for a great thing to melt over chickpeas, then pick cheese.
Story Quote"A jail. Why didn't they think of that? It would have been quite easy to lay the concrete blocks, fabritate the bars, and install the locks. They have so many enemies in this reality, and every right to hold them against their will. It's so obvious now." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Yeah, about that," the woman begins, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I think…" // "That we're dead?" Oliver finishes for her. // "So, you saw it coming too?" // "I did something stupid, and this was always the risk." He stands up, and gets out of the water. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownA figure approaches from the distance. I can't tell who they are because the smoke and heat ripples distort its form. Whoever it is seems to see me fine, and is showing no signs of fear or apprehension. Is this going to be a friendly meeting, or the other thing? #ExitStageDown
NanostorySometimes I cut off my own head to see how long I'm conscious after severing the spine, but everytime I wake up later, I've lost all memory that came just as I was dropping the guillotine. Do they make upright brain imagine machines? I think I need to be more scientific with it.
Story Quote"The cells are clean, well-lit, and furnished. Since the team has no idea whether the Livewire transfer to the past worked at all, they can’t do anything to harm these substrates yet. Their friends, the original owners, may need to reclaim them later." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutShe inhales deeply, enjoying the fresh air. "At least it looks like we're in the Good Place." // He laughs slightly. "Or maybe that's just what they want you to believe. I'm Oliver." // "May. And if this is the Bad Place, sign me up." // "Have you seen anyone else?" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownThe man comes close enough for me to see him just as I'm getting to my feet. He sizes me up, so I just let him, even though he takes a little too long with it. "I have been told that you are responsible for this corner of the bulkverse." // "I wouldn't say that." #ExitStageDown
Random NothingOh, wow, is it 2022 already? Man, 2021 flew by like that, didn't it? I guess I better start practicing writing dates again. That's always such a pain, huh?
Story Quote"She said that it would be all right, that she would be able to act like it was all new information when the time came. If the Prestons aren't even aware of the Third Rail, then keeping it a secret against as many people as possible could be paramount." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"No, I've not," May replies. "I don't suppose you have either, lying there like you were." // "No, but I'm feeling a relatively strong draw in that direction," Oliver says, pointing. // "I'm feeling the same draw. Does that mean we should go that way, or shouldn't?" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"I only ask," he begins, "because I'm not afraid of a little competition." // "Competition for what? Total domination?" // "That may be what you call it." // "What would YOU call it?" // "Total illumination. My name is Meredarchos, but I'm known as…The Luminary." #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: *screaming through the storm* "No! I said, grab the RUDDER!" // Me: *screaming back* "How was I meant to know?" // My parole officer: "I thought it would be obvious!" // Me: "Maybe it would be if we weren't transporting all these cows on this boat!"
Story Quote"He hasn't worked on anything else since the incident, and he's no closer to solving the problem. Cheyenne is going to need the Insulator back pretty soon, so either she's going to have to come to them, or he'll have to find another way to the answers." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"If we're already dead, what more could they do to us?" Oliver asks, heading in the direction his body wants to go. // "That's not great logic, but then again, fortune favors the brave." // He bellylaughs before checking whether she meant it sincerely. She did not. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"Oh. You're one of THOSE people." // "What does THAT mean?" Meredarchos asks, already offended. // "You're a megalomaniac, but you don't want to be seen as a tyrant, so you dress your ambition up in a pretty narrative of trying to make the world a better place." #ExitStageDown
NanostoryI have this fantasy where government agents show up at my house in black SUVs and a helicopter, and a General gets out to say something like, "we need a dumbshit loser who hasn't amounted to anything to help us save the world. Your indolence and pointlessness are our only hope."
Story Quote"They've been to a number of places on Mateo's list already, usually for other reasons, and now it's time to start considering making a point of finishing off that list with a real world tour. He does not yet know, however, who will be accompanying him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Story Quote"Alyssa doesn't seem to consider it a problem. It's a comfortable enough hat, and it disappears when she transforms into someone else anyway. She's more concerned with the mission itself, which is perfectly understandable. It won't be a walk in the park." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey go towards towards the sun, not sure whether they're headed for goodness, or danger. The closer they get, the more people they see. Dozens of others are driven towards the same thing, and none of them seems to be in total control of it. This is pretty ominous. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"I made my world a better place," he claims. "That's why I moved on to other worlds, and then other universes, and now I'm here. So the question I need you to answer is if we're going to be competing against each other, or if you'll step aside like a good sport." #ExitStageDown
Random NothingIf you're pretty sure that the rumors are true, then they're trumors.
Oliver Spout"Do you notice something odd about that sun?" May asks, having noticed the others, but not very interested in them. // "It's been a long time since I've seen it, actually. I can barely remember." // She's surprised. "What, were you trapped underground, or something?" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI may no longer have the ability to dreamwalk, but this still is a dream, and I still am a hologram, and I still have power here if I know how to take it. I conjure a glass of water, and drink calmly as a show of strength. I laugh. "How do you get your acolytes?" #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationJack: "Houston, we have a problem." // Houston: "Cool story, bro."
Story Quote"They don't need the money. The entire pursuit is all about her, inspired by the simple fact that Leona and Ramses only needed one floor for their lab. The business doesn't do the team any good, and it doesn't do the world much good either. It's selfish." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Or something," Oliver answers, not wanting to get into the whole gargoyle thing. He looks up at the sun to see what she's talking about. "Hm. My eyes don't hurt." // "No," May agrees. "I find it quite pleasant. It's almost…" // "Umm…pleasurable?" Oliver suggests. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownMeredarchos starts to answer, but I shush him dismissively. "No, I don't want the brochure. What do you do? How do you do it? You're not a god; you're not charming, you have some kind of ability. Explain it to me." // He sees that I'm no fool. "Induced devotion." #ExitStageDown
Dumb Ditty🎙️My crazy dog, Daisy's on a diet // She only eats one bowl a day // I tell her that she really shouldn't do it // She says it doesn't matter what I say🎙️ #spokenwordpoetry
Story Quote"She faces the members of Team Matic that are present. Mateo starts to think about this. They only ever called it that because most of the members used that name, but now they have multiple Waltons, and multiple McIvers. So it just sounds self-serving." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the Good Place," May decides. They keep walking, as do the other recently deceased, until they come upon a deep pit. Stone has been carved out into seating, and a stage sits at the bottom. A man stands there alone, smiling at the crowd. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"That explains it," I say. // "That explains what?" // "This feeling in my head. You're trying to convert me to one of your worshipers. That kind of thing won't work on me." // "What makes YOU so special?" // "It's not just me in here. I have a lot of…protectors." #ExitStageDown
Random NothingLots of people like to eat GORP: Good Old Raisins and Peanuts, but I prefer BORAGOPAGMAM: BAD OLD RAISINS AND GOOD OLD PEANUTS AND GREAT M&Ms.
Story Quote"She considered starting them off slow, but she promised them a fusion-powered rocket, and she may not be around long enough to see it through if she doesn't jump right to real progress. Hopefully the Prime Directive isn't all that it's cracked up to be." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Welcome, welcome!" he shouts for all to hear. "Please take a seat! // "Are we dead?" one person asks. // "Is this heaven?" asks another. // "Please, have a seat!" the man repeats. "All questions will be answered. I have this whole thing planned! You'll enjoy it!" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownMeredarchos narrows his eyes, and looks at me from the side. "What's YOUR deal?" // "I tell their stories," I explain. "In return, they can loan me their abilities. Some of them have psychic blocking abilities, and that's what's preventing you from controlling me." #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationMe: "ALL THESE REAL CHILD ACTORS ARE TAKING WHAT FEW YOUNG ROLES THERE ARE FROM ADULTS LIKE ME WHO LOOK YOUNG ENOUGH TO PORTRAY CHILDREN! SLOW-AGERS ARE NOW ON STRIKE! // My parole officer: "If you go on strike, your problem will become the solution to the problem you create."
Story Quote"It's cute that they think they could help. Mongolia is hours away by aircraft, over enemy territory. If something goes wrong, they're pretty much on their own, which is why Ramses packed them a little present. It's an in case of emergency kind of thing." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSome are more apprehensive than others, but the crowd eventually manages to sit down. There's enough space for about twice as many people, leaving everyone comfortable. This is especially true because, while the seats look like carved rock, they feel like a waterbed. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"See, you act like you're better than me, but if you're stealing people's abilities—" // "I don't steal them, I just borrow them," I contend. "They don't miss a beat, or even notice that anything is happening." // "Are you certain of that?" // Hmm…actually, no. #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "There's a huge red stain on the carpet in the middle of your living room." // Me: "Ooooohh, that's where it is. I've been looking for that."
Story Quote"They need that stone, whatever it takes. It doesn't matter that Trina wouldn't want them to risk a war on her behalf, because she doesn't have a say in it. She's the one who's lost, and this might be the only way to get her back. They'll worry later." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe guy slowly turns as he's talking. "Thank you all for coming. My name is Valter Pace, and I'm currently surrounded by a hundred and forty-seven of the greatest people in history. Some of you may already know why you're here. Others are confused, and that's okay." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"My people lead their own lives," I argue. "It sounds like you take people's lives from them, and decide what they do. You still think that you're the hero?" // "What I do is necessary," Meredarchos insist. "I know what's best, and all they have to do…is listen." #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationMy caddy: "Great shot, sir! Looks like you're almost on the green. What do you want to use next?" // Me: "Go ahead and give me that beanut putter."
Story Quote"That's what he's been for most of his life, the guy who's just there to help others with their objectives. He's worked as a literal assistant on more than one occasion, including a position usually filled by women. He got some looks for that. Whatever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Before I explain, I want you to learn our motto." Valter pauses for effect. "Don't panic. Remember those words. Everything is going to be fine. You may have heard people say that this is the first day of the rest of your life. Today…that becomes truer than ever." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"You know what you sound like right?" I ask, setting him up for failure. // He beats me to the punch. "A megalomaniac." // "That's right." // "Yeah, well, I guess I'm okay with that. And I'm okay with you believing that you're any different. One day, you'll see." #ExitStageDown
PredictionI can't wait for the future, when we all only have to subscribe to Pearimount DisNetBOlu.
Story Quote"The spectacle has since died down, and the last thing they need is to make another one. Fortunately, the agency team doesn't have to cordon off the area to prevent people from witnessing the arrival. No one else is around. But they'll probably hear it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"To answer your real question, yes, you died, and left Earth. But no, you are NOT dead. This isn't heaven, nor The Good Place. You're technologically experienced enough to understand when I say that this…is a virtual simulation. You are all now code on a server." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"I think I'm done with this conversation," I determine. // "That's fair. It won't be our last." // "Yes, it will. I'll make sure of it." // Meredarchos grins. "Whatever you say." // I am not winning this confrontation, so I just need to leave. "How do I wake up?" #ExitStageDown
Random NothingDo you remober, the 21st night of October? It wasn't that long ago.
Story Quote"Kivi is nodding nonjudgmentally. Angela seems hurt. She's had a tough time with the dynamics of living with her alternate self. Leona acts like she's always known, which wouldn't be surprising. Heath is stunned and angry. Things might get bad with him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThis revelation makes people nervous. Being uploaded into a simulation complicates every metaphysical question the book, and it makes people uncomfortable, presumably none more than the religious ones. "I see this upsets some of you. That's okay. You have a choice." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage Down"How do you wake up?" he echoes. "Brother, you're not asleep. You're here in physical form." // "I am?" // "I summoned you, and you showed up. How exactly you accomplished it is your business. So my guess is you leave the same way you came." // I don't think I can. #ExitStageDown
Random NothingGo away, I'm integrating!
Story Quote"They can't take The Olimpia without someone who knows how to fly it, but that was always just to allow travelers to exercise some independence. There are other ways to get around the world, so just because Mateo is alone, doesn't mean he has to wait." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutA hologram appears over him that can be seen the same from all angles. "Society in the simulation was designed with eleven levels. The top is Resurrection. In several millennia, no one has been promoted to that yet. The zeroeth level…is Oblivion, or the true death." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownMeredarchos seems to sense my concern. "Maybe I won't have to worry about you at all." // "Oh, it's never been me you had to worry about," I explain. "Didn't I tell you? I'm a duplicate. The real me is still out there, safe and sound. You're competing against him." #ExitStageDown
NanostoryMy dog is woke; she only barks at white people. But I think that both by noticing this, and pointing it out, I've revealed myself as not very woke at all.
Story Quote"He sets the book down gently, and regards her with an empathetic face; the kind that Trina hasn't gotten old enough to need to use yet. He seems to be gathering who Alyssa is, or at least that she's not just some random interrogator. He waits patiently." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Oblivion Black is not a real level. It's when we delete your code. It's reserved for the worst people, who have been judged unworthy of rehabilitation, even given eternity. It can also be voluntary. Of course, like you always thought death was, it's irreversible." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownHe obviously had no idea. "You mean I contacted the wrong Superintendent?" // "I'm not really the Superintendent, and technically never was. I was never actually born at all. I just have false memories implanted in my constructed brain to make me think that I was." #ExitStageDown
Dumb Ditty🎶If I show you then I know you // Won’t tell what I said // 'Cause two can keep a secret // If one of them's a dog🎶
Story Quote"It has to be here somewhere. All of the other significant places they've been to have been at least a little significant in this reality too. He starts running his hands along the walls, looking for anything unusual. 'Go that way, please,' he asks her. #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"As for the other ranks, the lower ones are the worst, and highest are the best. Everyone who dies comes here, and they start at a certain level, based upon the totality of their lives and choices. You can move up, and you can move down, based on further behavior." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownMeredarchos is seethingly angry. "Well, fine! Everything else on this world is dead, so what's one more person? Have fun starving!" He throws up a gesture that I'm guessing is his world's version of the middle finger. Then the body that he was borrowing collapses. #ExitStageDown
NanostoryDance With Me Tonight. Tomorrow, I'm entering Bootytown, hoping to see if I can Slam some Buddha's Delight with a Meaningless Kiss to find my Way Back Into Love. They say it can make you Invincible. Don't Write Me Off just yet, I've been sleeping with a clown above my bed.
Story Quote"By the time they feel like it’s late enough, guessing by the sun, a fairly old woman comes out of the house. They approach her cautiously, but when she sees them, she smiles as joyfully as the man did. People are real friendly ‘round these here parts." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'm pleased to announce that all but one of you have ranked into Level Seven, Elite. That's why you're grouped together. You died around the same time, and you all deserve the commensurate privileges. One of you, however, is notably different. Come on down, Oliver." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownNow I'm alone, and I have a pretty good idea how Jemma Simmons felt like in the third season of Agents of Shield. She too found herself trapped on a distant planet that had been destroyed by a singular evil force. Unlike her, I might not make it out of here alive. #ExitStageDown
Fake ConversationSheldon: "Yesterday, I moved a mountain." // Me: "Oh, me too. Which one?" // Sheldon: "It was Guadalupe Peak." // Me: "Really? Same here, I'm sorry, that's so embarrassing. Let me go move it back to where you had it."
Story Quote"He thinks about it for a bit, and then calls someone to ask. He hangs up. 'She doesn’t remember her either. We haven’t seen each other in about fifteen years, but back then, she would have known this mysterious missing daughter.' He’s so distraught now." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutKnowing that he has little choice, Oliver steps down onto the stage. // Valter places his hands upon his shoulders. "Oliver Spout's situation is so rare that they can't be grouped, so they go through orientation with Elites, like you. He is Level Ten, Unrestricted." #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownNo, I can figure this out. There's a short list of people who can travel the bulkverse physically, and a shorter list of people who can do it on their own, and would be able to lend me their power. I've used Treasure's, and I think I used her father's to get here. #ExitStageDown
Random NothingDon't beat a dead horse…or a living horse, for that matter. Just don't beat horses, okay? WTH is wrong with you?
Story Quote"This is great, but they don't really need to get to the rest of the Fourth Quadrant. They need to get back to the Third Rail, or ideally, the main sequence. Four of the openings feel like they should work, but do not, plus the one that's probably KC." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You all have privileges…" Valter continues, "Oliver has power. He can control the world he's in. He can build new worlds. He could even theoretically alter your code. I'm not even Level Ten, but one day I might be, and so might you. A round of applause for Oliver!" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownThe only suitable person whose power I've not yet used is Meliora herself, who was meant to rescue us from The Stage. The reason I didn't try to channel her before is because her ability takes time and patience, of which I have neither. I better start meditating. #ExitStageDown
NanostoryThe year is 2056. Vax Wars ravage the lands. Smog covers the skies. The ocean is acid. My grandson looks up to see a sparkle. "Grampy, why isn't that superdrone moving?" // "That's not a drone, it's a star." // "A what?" // "See? The libtards were wrong. The environment is fine."
Story Quote"He pulls the cuffs under himself, and around his feet. The guard is back on him quickly, but it doesn’t really matter, because he doesn’t understand what to expect. Erlendr reaches up to the emergency teleporter strapped to his chest, and disappears." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThe crowd claps, some sincerely, but most are jealous. They don't understand why Oliver's getting special treatment. He doesn't truly know, but it surely has something to do with the fact that he's a time traveler. He never thought his curse would come with benefits. #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI sit down to concentrate on freeing my mind so I can eventually learn to break through the universal membrane. This is difficult for someone like me. I have OCD and autism, so I'm always thinking. That doesn't make me smart—it just means that my brain never stops. #ExitStageDown
“Joke”The power was out, but I was really craving some Mexican food, so instead of making tostadas, I just made breadadas. They're not as good.
Story Quote"The teleporter will run out of juice, if it hasn't already, and he won't know how to get more. Even if he did, he doesn't strike her as the type of person who knows enough about technology to modify it to take him anywhere but right back to their lab." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Thank you, Oliver, you can sit back down. This is only the beginning. He's at a special level, but I didn't just introduce him because of that. Everyone will get an introduction. Orientation is kind of an all day thing. May St. Martin, why don't you come down next?" #OliverSpout
Exit Stage DownI meditate for hours—or rather, I attempt to. I'm getting hungry, which makes it that much harder. My focus is broken so thoroughly when a blast knocks me to the side. After the dust settles, I find myself surrounded by a group of Ochivari. They don't look happy. #ExitStageDown
NanostoryAirport security is a joke. I'm a fully mechanized robot, my leg is a literal shotgun. I mean, I don't even hide it. You can hear the muzzle hit the floor. But they let me walk right on board.
Story Quote"They don't know much. It's technicolor, which implies a connection to the greater bulk. It's impossible to cut, even using lasers, so that's both an interesting fact, and why they have not been able to learn anything else. There must be some loophole." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutEveryone is panicking. Skylar is performing what she recalls of CPR from her high school aquatics class. Kalisha is reading through the instructions for the AED. Alexina unlocked the door from the outside to let Lucy and Kostya in, and is now yelling into the phone. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorOchivari are pretty much always angry, but this group looks particularly upset. One of them steps forward. "Where is The Willtaker?" // "Oh, I'm sorry, you just missed him," I say, pointing to Meredarchos' host body, assuming that that's who they're talking about. #DarningWarrior
Random NothingThe hummingbird is the largest insect in the world.
Story Quote"But that is nothing compared to the humiliation of needing help going to the bathroom. He really had to go while his wife was out, and Marie was the only one around who he felt comfortable enough asking. She did so without complaint or awkward tension." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"No, you owe me!" Alexina shouts. "You know why! I didn't leave the group, I just started to try to become a better person! Ophir! OPHIR! Listen! You never said that you would never help me again. I need an emegency rewrite, and you're gonna give it to me right now!" #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Who here survived with a head-dive needle?" the leader asks. // Another Ochivar kneels down over the dead host, and places a long needle on his forehead. Keeping it balanced, he places the other end against his own forehead. Then he drives their heads together. #DarningWarrior
“Joke”I think I could probably figure out how to do that Fyre Festival thing, but not go to prison in the end.
Story Quote"This should be surprising, but nothing really is to them anymore. They could wake up tomorrow to find the sun has been transformed into a big ball of water, and they wouldn't even bat an eye. They have seen too much already. It is interesting, though." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Ophir!" Alexina cries again, before looking at her phone incredulously, and then putting it away. "Goddammit!" // "Why did that thing go off?" Skylar asks through tears. "Why did it kill him? It shouldn't have worked. It doesn't make sense." // "Sky…" Kalisha says. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorThe Ochivar stays there a moment, head connected to the human's via needle. Then he lifts himself up, and struggles to stand. "He's telling the truth. The Willtaker was there, but now he's dead like me." He collapses to prove his point. The procedure killed him. #DarningWarrior
“Joke”Think I'll solve a murder today.
Story Quote"They didn't hand her the operating manual, but they did tell her a few things, such as the fact that they're all powered by bulk energy. That's why they don't ever run out, or have to be refueled. It's all around; you just have to know how to access it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"That's not how these things work," Skylar continues. "They don't just send a shock whenever you press the button. It has to sense an irregular heart rhythm." // "Sky," Kalisha repeats. "Sky, he doesn't have a pulse, and he's not breathing. Sky, he's gone." // "No!" #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorThe leader looks over at me. "I know what you're thinking. One down, however many to go. But we'll make more. We breed in—" // "Clutches," I interrupt, "I know. Sounds terrifying. You know this isn't necessary, right? All this sacrifice. There is a better way." #DarningWarrior
NanostoryI'm starting to think that I may have misunderstood how intermittent fasting works. I've been fasting for sixteen days, and then eating within an eight minute window. Is this correct? I've been getting pretty hungry by the eleventh day. I'm not sure I can keep up this schedule.
Story Quote"Zacarias thinks on it a little more. 'Yes.' // Senona presses a button on the terminal, and releases a small device. 'The manual is now accessible on your primary Nexus computer, but you will need this to copy it.' They prepare to hand it off, but wait." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Sky," Kalisha repeats once more, but Skylar just keeps trying chest compressions. // "Skybird," Lucy says, wrapping her arms around Skylar so she can't do it anymore. "Stop." // Skylar keeps crying. "I didn't know him. He left too early. I never knew him. I never…" #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Oh, don't give me that nonsense. He was more than willing to die for the cause." // "I'm sure he was, it doesn't make it right," I volley. "Anyway, that is not why any of us are here. What are you going to do with me?" // "Don't think I don't know who you are." #DarningWarrior
Fake ConversationFriend: "She said it was a fun date, and she wants you to call again. What did you think of her?" // Me: "Well, she was pretty…elegant." // Friend: "Aww, she'll love to hear that. You should call tonight." // Me: "It wasn't a compliment."
Story Quote"The machine spontaneously powers up. In her head, she jumps into action, ready to fight against evil, or receive their new friends, whichever one is happening. But even this development isn't enough to clear the sandman's sleeping sand from her eyes." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar can't speak anymore. She's just bawling. Everyone's crying, though Kalisha the least, and Alexina is really only tearing up, which is fair. "I'm sorry," she laments. "I don't know why the Time Clinic would use such a dangerous contact method. I am so sorry." #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"What will you do with me?" I repeat. // "If we kill you, will you fight back?" the leader asks. // That's a good question. Well, not THAT question. Of course I'll fight, but first I need to figure out which of my characters has the right abilities for this case." #DarningWarrior
“Joke”I'll be giving $5,000 to the first person who retweets this tweet, and is the second coming of Christ.
Story Quote"He's sitting alone in his underwear and one of his vests, a variety bowl of citrus fruit on the table next to him, and he's covered in juice. Before he notices that they're even there, he picks up another lemon, and lets it explode all over the place." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You were trying to call someone to undo this, right?" Kalisha asks her. // "I was. My FORMER friend, Ophir; he can send people through time. But he won't help. I've been kind of excommunicated." // "I can travel through time," Kalisha reminds her. // "Yeah, maybe." #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"My alternate and I have written a number of characters with excellent fighting abilities, but most of them don't have powers, just training and experience. That might not work with me. I need something fast and simple. I need someone like…Drummond Breckenridge. #DarningWarrior
CallbackNo takers?
I'll be giving $5,000 to the first person who retweets this tweet, and is the second coming of Christ.
Story Quote"They've been so preoccupied trying to help Mateo that they forgot the entire reason he had a problem was because they were trying to get the timonite to get Trina back. They need to get back to that, if it's even possible, and if this will help at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"No, not maybe, I can. I can travel through time." Kalisha counters. // "You definitely can, but can you control it?" Alexina asks. // Kalisha frowns. "I have to try." // "That's not my call," Alexina says. "I don't have any other favors coming to me, though. so…" #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Sir, he's doing something," one of the Ochivari warns. // He's right. I'm getting in the mood. Drummond Breckenridge has four abilities; one for each of the major acute stress responses. Right now, I'm calling upon Fight, which should turn me into a wild beast." #DarningWarrior
NanostoryRoads? Where we're going, they don't have roads. The people in that dimension never invented them, but they got tons of cars, so it's a real free-for-all there. That's why it's our first stop. Maybe we can help them figure this out.
Story Quote"If anyone can do it, it's him. He's maintained the strongest connection to what little temporal energy they have been able to find in the Third Rail, though they still don't know why. He was unable to reopen the portal before, but he should try again." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Please," Skylar says, wiping tears from her face, trying to form intelligible words. "Please try." // "Well, I'm already emotional, and I think that's where I get my power, so I'm going to go into the hall, and try to run into a portal." She steps out of the bank. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI shake my body to get the blood pumping, and generate some adrenaline. I crack my neck and knuckles. Before any of them can do anything to stop me, I let go of control, and unleash the violent side of me that I normally suppress. I'm conscious through all of it. #DarningWarrior
“Joke”I always had a real hard time in school. I just didn't feel comfortable being judged by an institution of people who don't even know the alphabet. Uhh…you missed a letter.
Story Quote"That was the silver lining to being in a reality where temporal manipulation didn't generally work. They were no longer worried about encountering—or worse, creating—a paradox. Time travel made it a constant threat, and bulk travel compounds the risk." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutKalisha bounces around, and tries to psych herself up, like a swimmer before her race. She slides her shoes back on the floor like a bull pawing at the dirt to warn his opponent that he's about to charge. When she's ready, she runs…and disappears into a fire portal. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI see myself tearing them apart, sometimes literally. It's not like people sometimes describe, being a passenger in their own body. I feel the urge to kill, to cause as much destruction as possible. I don't just want it to happen, I want to be the one to do it. #DarningWarrior
NanostoryOh, hey. So, a funny thing happened just now. I tripped in the hallway, and fell against your door, and a toothpick fell onto the floor next to me, so that's why that's there. I also think my fall moved a few things around in your apartment. Sorry, gotta go!
Story Quote"Whatever Leona saw, it must have been an optical illusion. This area seems to be beyond the range of the portal. Or maybe it shows up, but doesn’t deposit anything. It may go all over the planet, and this only looks like a place of higher concentration." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar stares at the space where Kalisha disappeared for a second. Then she looks down to see if Oliver is alive now. She dives back down and shakes him. "Oliver! Oliver, come back!" // "It didn't work," Alexina says apologetically. // "How do you know?" Kostya asks. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorThe Ochivari keep coming at me, like in the movies. Every one of them thinks that they will be the one to get the upperhand, that somehow they're stronger than the others. They're not. I am. I could kill a god. I AM a god…and I won't stop until they're all dead. #DarningWarrior
“Joke”Hey, moron! You know who else always followed Godwin's Law, no matter what? HITLER!
Story Quote"She calls herself a Rutherford, which is a fair claim, but a part of her will always be a Delaney, and a part of her will always be a Reaver. She plays it close to the vest, because otherwise, she could probably single-handedly solve every problem ever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I know that it didn't work," Alexina begins, "because we are still here. If Kalisha changed history, none of us would remember this, because our timeline would have collapsed to make way for the good one. She either went to the future, or back into a stable loop." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorSoon, they are, and it's just me, standing in a sea of dead Ochivari. I thought I was paying better attention than I was. There are probably three times as many of them as there were when we started. Reinforcements had come during the fight, but I killed them too. #DarningWarrior
“Joke”Applying to the Uvalde Police Department.
Story Quote"It's the Traversa Bracelet, or something that looks very much like it. Ariadna Traversa only agreed to have one of them created, but Mateo lost it when the original copy of the AOC was destroyed in an antimatter explosion. Did Meliora save it for them?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What do you mean, stable loop?" Lucy questions. // "Sometimes you can change the past when you go back," Alexina explains. "Sometimes, however, you're just fulfilling fate. You stay in the same timeline, you're just not doing things in the linear order of events." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI quickly realize the huge downside to use Drummond Breckenridge's ability to win this battle. If I had exercised any restraint, I could have left two of them alive. Now I'm back to where I was, with no way out of the universe, or even off this dead planet. Crap. #DarningWarrior
Random NothingI can phase through divinium.
Story Quote"There has to be a way to undo this. 'You can reverse aging, right? Or someone can. Your world has all sorts of technology.' // 'Technically, yes, but I wouldn't recommend it. She has experienced all those years. She's not a child anymore,' he explains." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"So that's it?" Skylar asks in a tone that suggests her position is in the denial stage of grief, not acceptance. "There's nothing we can do?" // "There's one card I can play." Alexina checks her watch. "But we don't have much time to try it." // "Okay, let's do it." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorMy stress response has gone, along with the ability. Now I see how gross this is, but still, I kneel down to examine the bodies, in case one of them survived. He wouldn't do me much good, as it takes at least two Ochivari to bulk travel, but it would be a start. #DarningWarrior
NanostoryI get on one knee. "Will you marry me?" I ask. She smiles, and tears up, then kisses me sweetly. I manage to separate us, and smile back. "Is that a yes? You have to say it out loud." We giggle together, then she says no, and leaves. I never see her again. What a rollercoaster.
Story Quote"She taps on her earpiece to explain to Alyssa how and why Trina may never need to die. Her family will go to the simulation whether she chooses to or not, and if they want to join her in a hypothetical heaven, they would basically be committing suicide." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina sighs. "I need you to understand what you're asking. I told you about the previous timeline. Kostya came in here, and got in a fight, so time was reversed and restarted." // "Yeah, what about it?" Skylar asks, not seeing the point of bringing that up again. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorAs I'm checking one Ochivar for life, I see movement out of the corner of my eye. I don't look over, but keep it in my periphery. There's definitely a survivor. It's hard to tell from this angle, but I don't think he wants a fight. I think he's trying to escape. #DarningWarrior
Random NothingRemember, if you're ever in quicksand, the more you struggle, the faster you'll get to the buried treasure.
Story Quote"She’s wondered whether she should say anything about this since she first came into existence, and now she may have no choice. It's like he said, they were focused on escaping, maybe they would never have to know, but if he’s doubting that objective…" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina looks at her watch again. "We're coming up on the time when it happened, which is our window to retrieve Oliver. But. BUT. It will be a different version of him. He will have experienced a different last couple of hours." // "So what? I just want him back." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI carefully turn my head to watch the surviving Ochivar slothing his way away. If he thinks I'm going to kill him if I catch him, then this isn't going to help. He's just shining a spotlight on himself. I stand and approach. He looks pretty badly hurt. I did that. #DarningWarrior
Random NothingI've just become free to announce that my company has recently begun a new project to have killed another terrorist last night. Kill confirmed 23:00 hours.
Story Quote"Kestral thought that using the bracelet to transport their entire ship could destroy it, and she was probably right since this is just a regular helicopter. Ramses may be able to fix or reverse engineer it, though, so he gathers every hair he can find." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"My point is," Alexina says, "that the Oliver lying on the floor between us will still be dead, and will still be lying there. He's not gonna disappear, they're not gonna merge in this beautiful zen way. We're just stealing an extra Oliver from an alternate reality." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorThis is why I suppress my violent side, like any upstanding citizen of the bulkverse. The dead bodies don't bother me that much, but this man is suffering. I have to help him. But how? I didn't come with a medkit, and neither did anyone else. It's not their style. #DarningWarrior
NanostoryI once played chess against Bobby Fischer and won. It's not what you think, though. I'm not saying that I'm smarter than him, but he was trying to predict my moves by getting in my head, and he underestimated how difficult it would be to do that with the mind of a moron.
Story Quote"She was chosen by the crew at a time when a leader was needed, and accepted by all who have joined the group since. The state would not usually acknowledge such a distinction, but it made an exception after a conversation with a certain U.S. senator." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You're not convincing me that we shouldn't do this," Skylar says. // "I wasn't trying, just making sure you make an informed decision. I have to do my due dilig—" // "Just get it done!" Skylar demands. "If the window is closing, stop talking! I blame YOU for this!" #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI'm not a particularly strong guy. I could be with the right power, but it won't be necessary. Ochivari are relatively small, so I could easily lift him up to carry him from the carnage. Though he may struggle. Convincing him that I want to help may be impossible. #DarningWarrior
NanostoryI don't understand why people keep suggesting that I "ask" some girl out. On my planet, we don't do that. The practice better translates to "tell her to come with me, and do whatever I say".
Story Quote"How long did he say to wait? A week? He pulls the covers off his face, and looks around the cell. There’s no calendar on the wall. How the hell is he meant to know when it’s been a week? It could be any minute now. It could be right now. It probably is." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay." Alexina goes back to her desk, and removes an ornate golden-handled knife from the top drawer. She runs it across her hand, and lets the blood drip onto a pedestal. "Come over here." // Skylar walks over, and does the same with the knife. She doesn't flinch. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI have to try. I scoop him up in my arms, and he doesn't struggle, but not because he doesn't want to, because he can't. He's on the brink of death, so even if I did have medical supplies, they wouldn't be enough. If I want to fix him, I know what I have to do. #DarningWarrior
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?" // Me: "I would want a third arm, so it would be easier to tie off one of them to inject drugs into my system." // My parole officer: "Uhuh, what kind of drugs might that be?" // Me: "I wanna say…ecstasy?"
Story Quote"He wraps the prototype of the collar around his neck. It works all right, but there appears to be a limitation to how much temporal energy it can absorb, which the real Ramses found unacceptable, so that’s why he built the model that Rothko is wearing." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Now we need his," Alexina announces, looking down at Oliver's body. // Skylar looks anxious. // "I can do it," Kostya volunteers. "You shouldn't have to." // "We only need a little," Alexina tells him. // Kostya pricks his friend's hand, then gives the knife back. #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Shh," I say softly. "You're going to be okay." Healing others is one of the rarest abilities in my stories. There's none whose power I would rather channel than another. Though Landis has multiple abilities, and I don't know what that means for my usage limits. #DarningWarrior
NanostoryI don't like fun activities like normal people do, but I still need vacations. My favorite thing to do is check into a hotel, and in the morning, slink down the hallways, putting DO NOT DISTURB signs on people's doors. Oh, they get so pissed when they come back to a dirty room.
Story Quote"They come back out of their room together, having seemingly worked out their dispute. They're wearing tactical gear too, which is weird on so many levels. Vearden isn't a fighter, and Arcadia has always had special powers. Why do they own this stuff?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Is this a blood sacrifice," Lucy asks. "Is there magic?" // "No," Alexina replies as the vault is opening on its own. "It's a temporal DNA reader. Mine and Skylar's blood are like keys. Oliver's blood is like a beacon, so HE comes back to us, instead of some rando." #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"No, no, no," the Ochivar ekes out, afraid that I'm about to put him out of his misery. I am, but not how he thinks. I carefully lay him back down on the warm ground, away from the others. Then I call upon Dores Roach's organic nanites to heal him with my breath. #DarningWarrior
Story Quote"No matter what he says, Erlendr doesn't do anything unless it's for Erlendr. He cares about no one, and he doesn't help people out of the kindness of his heart. He's a predator, and a user. The Fountain of Youth couldn't be anything but a red herring." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Random NothingMy feet are always wet, but not for the reason you think.
Oliver SpoutThey follow the banker into the vault. On the other end, amidst all the safe deposit boxes, is a regular permutation lock safe. The numbers she picks match the date, and the time right now. When she's done, she pushes the dial in, and then turns and pulls the handle. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorIn only a minute or two, he's fully alert, though still scared. Sure, I healed him, but that doesn't mean we're going to be good buddies now, will it? The Ochivari hate anyone who doesn't protect their environment, and everyone is a guilty until proven innocent. #DarningWarrior
Fake ConversationMe: "There are too many TV shows about podcasts. What are they gonna do next, make a podcast about a TV show?" // You: "Well, actually, there lots of podcasts about—" // Me: "Don't tell me about some dumb podcast you listened to. I'm not interested, and you're not interesting."
Story Quote"She finds herself focusing more on the penlight than the rest. Is it less powerful? Will it run out of energy sooner, if any of them run out at all? What can it do? What can she do with it? Ah, it doesn't matter. She's just curious about a unique thing." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutA figure falls out of the safe, like he was leaning against the door because he thought it was just a wall. It IS Oliver, just as they wanted, but he's not alone. Another Kostya comes through with him. They fall onto the floor, and then stand back up, quite confused. #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Why did you do that?" he asks me. // "You can believe me when I say that I don't want anyone to die, but even if you don't, believe that you're my only ticket out of this universe. I need you. When I'm done explaining, I think you'll agree that you need me too." #DarningWarrior
“Joke”Yes, I technically lived on the moon for six months, but it was in that secret prison they recently shut down for crimes against humanity, so you can imagine that I didn't really consider that "living".
Story Quote"Leona picks it up. 'What is this?" // 'A personality test,' Arcadia explains. // 'I see that. Do you prefer round or squircular watches? Does cilantro taste like soap? What is this for?' // 'It's the only way to test for a psychic invader,' she claims." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina scowls at the first Kostya. "What did you do?" // "Everyone was cutting their hands," he responds. "I was feeling left out." He shows them the cut, and the blood on the shirt that he was holding onto to hide it from them. "Is that bad?" //"It's not great." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorHe looks over at the death and destruction. "If I'm the only one, I can't help you. We'll both die here. The military only authorized three platoons for this mission. If no one returns, they will mark it as a failure, and try to find The Willtaker somewhere else." #DarningWarrior
“Joke”You know why they call it the periodic table? Because it's not there all the time…or at least it's not always a table. Did I just do a dad joke, or is this even too dumb for that?
Story Quote"She woke up well-rested this morning, but she’s feeling so tired. She can’t even keep her eyes open. She passes out on the bed. // She doesn’t wake up until night has fallen. The other four, including Marie, are sitting in the living room. 'I’m hungry.'" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Can someone explain to me what's going on?" Oliver asks. He looks around to get his bearings, and immediately spots his own dead body on the floor. "Never mind, that explains it," he lies. // "Let's sit down in the break room," Alexina offers. "It's a lot, I know." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorI sigh, ready to receive pushback for what I'm about to say. "You have been taught that the only way to travel the bulk is by sacrificing yourselves. This is not true. Every Ochivar is capable of it. There is a better way. It's easier, nicer, and less violent." #DarningWarrior
Good PointI'm a genius in the same way that Kanye is a genius in that I'm not a genius.
Story Quote"Having lamps on the outside would draw too much attention. It seemed safer to assume that anyone wishing them harm from the outside, would try to make their way inside, where cameras would be waiting. That seemed good enough…unless they had explosives." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey go to the back. Alexina takes a little remote out of her pocket to close the doors to the rest of the mall. They sit around one of the tables, and fill Oliver and the other Kostya in. They take it pretty well, which is no huge surprise, but it is indeed a lot. #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorHe shakes his head. "Impossible. There is only one way for our kind of bulk travel. It has always been this way. We would know if there was an alternative. They studied it when it was first discovered." // "Oh yeah, and the Ochivari government never lies, right?" #DarningWarrior
Random NothingIt's International Lie About Something Stupid Day.
Story Quote"That is the classic question issued in philosophy classes the world over. Would you be able to kill Hitler as a child, knowing what he would turn out to be? Except they don’t know what Meredarchos is, or will be, and Erlendr has already done his worst." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You asshole," the second Kostya spits at his alternate self. // "Hey, I'm the reason you're still alive. If not for me, you wouldn't even exist, so I believe a thank-you is in order, my good man." // "This is why duplicates are nearly always problem," Alexina says. #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"The government lies," he agrees, "but I trust them more than The Superintendent, don't I? And don't think you earned any points by healing me." // "I wouldn't think so," I admit, "but why would I bother, or try convince you that we can escape if there's no way?" #DarningWarrior
NanostoryAnd then God said, "cut off part of your penis. It's really important to me, don't ask why. For ye, I am the bounty and the light. All who heed my warnings shall know me, and they shall know mutilation. Thus sayeth The Lord, you are my sheeple."
Story Quote"She’s confident that everyone here will lie for her, except maybe Moray, who may be a little too young to understand the consequences. When the state says that you can choose your religion, they mean that no one can stop you, not even a legal guardian." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAlexina goes on, "when two versions of one person end up in the same timeline, the danger is not that they'll try to kill each other to become the dominant. They usually just squabble, and it's always incredibly annoying to everyone else. You will be given a choice." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorHe looks back over at the dead bodies. "I suppose it makes little sense for you to keep me alive…unless you just didn't want to die alone." // "I don't want to die alone, but I don't want to die in the company of an enemy either. I don't want you to be an enemy." #DarningWarrior
NanostoryMy parents didn't give me Oh The Places You'll Go, which is probably why I never went anywhere in my life. Don't blame them, though, I became a man 3,000 years ago, and the only book store was clear on the other side of the village. It would have been this whole thing.
Story Quote"Any of these others could lead to the identity of someone else and they just don't recognize the name, or the name of the religion is simply not shared by the founder or inspiration. They need to do more research on the history of faith in this reality." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What choice is this?" one of the Kostyas asks. The rest have forgotten which is which. // "No one knows how it goes down," Alexina says. "Some duplicates merge with each other, some just disappear? You may end up sharing the timeline, but we won't see this process." #OliverSpout
Darning Warrior"Hey, you got nothing else to do on this dead world," I go on, "except become a part of it. You might as well spend it learning to sing." // "Singing?" he questions. // "That's how you can bulk travel. It's called wingsinging, or in technical terms, stridulation." #DarningWarrior
“Joke”Today I'm celebrating 13,000 days of sobriety! I normally think of it as 13,000 days of being better than you, but I don't like to rub it in your face, so I don't ever say it like that publicly.
Story Quote"They find clear, unpolluted waters; crisp, clean air; beautiful greenery all around. Many would call this paradise. The only people who wouldn't like it surely don't like nature of any kind. It is so calm here, they hope not to ruin it with conflict." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey all stare at the two Kostyas. "Is it gonna happen now, errr…?" // "Like I said, no one knows. If something changes, it does so in another dimension, maybe? A time bubble? You'll have to wait, and I don't think the survivor—or survivors—will remember it after." #OliverSpout
Darning WarriorHe's still reluctant, but he recognizes that there truly isn't anything better to do. If it doesn't work, nothing would have. But if it does, it opens up a whole multiverse to him. So we work at it, and after a few days, starving all the while, we escape together. #DarningWarrior
Random NothingOh hey, nice to see you. How's it goin'? Any allegations lately? That's cool. Say hello to your mother for me.
Story Quote"Maybe it is her calling, but for now, they feel more like distractions. She's happy to find these people, but they're not who she's really looking for. If the universe really wants her to do this, then it ought to let her finish her first mission first." #salmonverse #fishquotes

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Oliver SpoutOliver, Skylar, Lucy, Kostya, and the other Kostya leave the Salmon Civic Center, and return to the former's apartment. They have all had just about enough time travel to last a lifetime. They know it will never be over, but they don't have to go looking for trouble. #OliverSpout
PremoderationWhile we were cruising through space on The Frenton, Cricket, Claire, and I came up with a contingency. If we ever found ourselves separated, we were to meet on Cricket's homeworld, right after he and I first left it. Not an easy plan, but it was the best we had. #Premoderation
Fake ConversationPlation: "Thanks for having me, I'm leaving." // Me: "No. Stay, Plation, and playstation."
Story Quote"She really is trying to be a better person. Vearden is helping her with it. He's not directly teaching her what it takes; she's smart enough to understand academically. She just needs to be reminded everyday that it is possible for someone to love her." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I think we're gonna go," one of the Kostyas decides as soon as they cross the threshold. // "Yeah," the other one agrees, "we need to figure some things out on our own. Only one of us can go back to the family. The other, who knows?" // "Okay, buddies," Oliver says. #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe Ochivar, whose name I have since learned is Nahandrel, is the one with the ability to cross the bulkverse, but I'm the one who knows where we need to go. Well, I don't KNOW, per se, but I can navigate to it by harnessing my memory of having been there before. #Premoderation
NanostoryI was just cast in a reboot that they're calling The Forty-One Million, Two Hundred and Ninety-Four Thousand, Nine Hundred and Sixty-Five Dollar, and Thirty-Six Cent Man.
Story Quote"Heath needs constant supervision, and since she can’t be with him all the time, she’ll have to learn to trust others to pitch in. She steps away to make the call, expecting to have to speak to a number of people regarding her husband’s unique condition." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver hugs both Kostyas, and waves goodbye. He may never see one of them again, and even when the other returns, he may never say which one he is; from the other timeline, or this one. It's been quite the whirlwind. It started with a stabbing, and now they're here. #OliverSpout
PremoderationWhen we come out of the outer bulkverse, and land on solid ground, Nahandrel and I find ourselves in the middle of a grand city. Lots of large structures and curved roofs. The air smells clean, but the area is loud. There are quite a few people out, who look human. #Premoderation
Random NothingI just missed a call on my home phone, which is weird because I don't own a home phone. That's why I couldn't return their call, so hopefully they'll call back so we can sort this all out.
Story Quote"Carlin seethes just a little, but then grows determined. He punches the top of his suitcase, and holds his fist in place while his other hand zips it up. 'I assume they have internet. I’m not done with the religion research.' // Relieved, Alyssa nods." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutAfter the door shuts behind the Kostyas, the three remaining stand silently for a moment. "Well…I think I'm gonna sleep the rest of the night until tomorrow. If I wake up, and I'm alone in the apartment, I'm just going to assume you're both at Lucy's." Real subtle. #OliverSpout
Premoderation"Tavis, people are staring," Nahandrel notes. They shouldn't be. People in Moderaverse are notoriously chill and nonjudgmental. They should still look humanoid, though not quite human. Rubber-forehead aliens would be a good way to describe them. This is all wrong. #Premoderation
“Joke”I tried to send my girlfriend an instant message about her father, but my 'H', 'E', and 'R' keys don't work, so it just said "you fat".
Story Quote"Everyone pitched in throughout the day, but Mateo and Alyssa led the effort to clean it out so it no longer reminds them of their failures. Now they’re sitting on the floor together, tossing garbage into an empty box, dwelling on those failures anyway." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay, goodnight!" Lucy says enthusiastically. "Come on," she then says, just to Oliver. // "Where are we going?" he asks. // "To my place." // "To what end?" He doesn't want to be presumptuous. // "I think that we could both use a little break, wouldn't you agree?" #OliverSpout
Premoderation"We need to duck out of sight before things get out of hand," I suggest. // "That sounds like a good idea." // We both turn, looking for an alleyway, or something, but we come face to face with a group of people standing in formation. They look like authorities. #Premoderation
“Joke”Sam: "Enough is enough! I've had it with these motherf*ing sharks in this motherf*ing deep blue sea!"
Story Quote"Her answers reminded Angela of herself in her younger days, in the time before she died, but after she met Ed Bolton. She has great potential, but she would never be able to do this on her own. She needs a partner; preferably a realist with experience." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutLucy gets frustrated when Oliver doesn't budge. "Here's the deal, I saw your dead body. I watched your sister try to revive you, and fail. I could have lost you, and we wouldn't have even ever…" She exhales. "I'm tired of waiting for the right moment, aren't you?" #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe leader's in the middle. He lifts a mobile device to Nahandrel's face, and slowly drops it down. "Unregistered genetic alteration. I don't know how you did this, sir, but that's not my department anyway. You're coming with us. You can explain it at the station." #Premoderation
Fake ConversationCustomer Service Representative: "Thank you for calling Capital One, what's in your wallet?" // Me: "I got 99 one dollar bills, condoms, and a photo of your mama with her number on the back. Now, could you tell me why you dropped my limit down to a hundred bucks?"
Story Quote"Mateo considers this. 'Maybe that’s why someone created the extraction mirror loop. They’re trying to disrupt the continuum in some way, be it for good or bad, like what Erlendr and Jupiter were trying to do when the Parallel was created.' Fair guess." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSkylar steps out of the bathroom, brushing her teeth vigorously. "Well I, for one, am tired of hearing you dance around the subject, so would you two just get outta here so I can have a moment to myself?" She's joking, but she's right. Life is short, and precarious. #OliverSpout
PremoderationI could call upon any number of special abilities to get out of this situation, but that would be so rude. These authorities have given us no reason to believe that they're going harm us. I can always escape later, no doubt. We crawl into the back of the vehicle. #Premoderation
Fake ConversationMe: "So, what do you do for a living?" // Girl at party: "Oh, I'm a taste accountant, I account for taste."
Story Quote"Having that power back felt nice, but it's not like he was used to it. He spent most of his life without the ability to teleport, or do anything like that. He was born to be a salmon—he's not supposed to make his own choices—so anytime he has is gravy." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"Okay. I would rather go on a real date first, but if you just want to skip the pretense, since it's so late, we'll go to your place." // "Great. I'll drive." // Oliver follows her down to the parking lot, and gets in her car. This is so planned, it feels so weird. #OliverSpout
PremoderationAs we near the edge of the city, the leader turns back to us from the front seat. "We can't let you know where the station is, of course. You understand." // "Just stay calm," I tell Nahandrel. "Do not fight it. We'll be okay." The bags come down over our heads. #Premoderation
Nanostory#WeirdbutTrue: @TrevorNoah was only in one fewer episodes of @TheDailyShow than @JonStewart. If he had just held on one more day, they would have been precisely even. #TheDailyShow
Story QuoteThe relief she felt upon hearing the news has subsided. She now feels herself falling into a depression. It's as close to a literal pit in the earth as possible while remaining metaphorical. Her heart feels low. No matter what they do, that's not Heath." #salmonverse #fishquotes
PremoderationI can feel Nahandrel squirming next to me, uncomfortable with the bag. It feels suffocating at first, and we're both panicking just a little bit. I have a secret weapon, though. I can't personally track where we are while blindfolded, but I have characters who can. #Premoderation
Oliver SpoutOnce they arrive at Lucy's place, Oliver takes a quick shower to get the stink of alternate self death off of him. She takes her turn next while he watches some TV. When she comes out, she's naked. He joins her in the bedroom where they consumate their relationship. #OliverSpout
NanostoryI got my SAG card when I was touring the studio, wandered from the group, and asked an actor dressed as a security guard where the bathroom was. Apparently, a character was actually meant to do that anyway, so it made it into the final cut.
Story Quote"Carlin starts to pace. Moray paces alongside him. He wants to be just like his older brother when he grows up. Carlin shakes his head. He has to get this out. He has to tell someone, and Vearden will have to do. It's too big. 'Okay.' He opens the map." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutIt was a mistake. When Lucy and Oliver are finished with their business, he leaves the room by sunrise to sleep on the couch. He wakes up to a scream come sunset hours later. Lucy lost time, just like Kostya did weeks ago. But they weren't even touching at the time. #OliverSpout
PremoderationI relax, and call upon the special gift of a character of mine who doesn't have what one might call a superpower. She's just a highly trained military officer. It's Claire. This is a good test to see if I can channel any skill at all, or if it has to be magical. #Premoderation
Random NothingWhen you alcoholics say that you're drinkin' wine coolers, I always picture you unhinging your jaws, and gobbling up big red and white boxes full of ice and bottles of wine. And then I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. You're so funny on account o' how dumb drinkin' is.
Story Quote"She stays on an assignment for as long as it takes, which may mean a week of observation and consultation, or a year of running the organization from the top down. If she can’t teach Derina to lead independently, she’ll find her own permanent successor." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'm sorry," Oliver says, tearing up. "I'm so sorry." // "No, it's all right," Lucy assures him. "I didn't mean to scream. I was just disoriented and freaked out. But it's okay, it'll wear off." // "We don't know that. What I did to you isn't what I did to Kostya." #OliverSpout
PremoderationI pay attention to the speed of the vehicle, and the number of turns. I keep track of how long we drive in one direction, generating a map of the route in my head. I notice other things, like the different smells of the people in here with us, and the temperature. #Premoderation
NanostoryOne night, I accidentally started a fire, but didn't want to bother my neighbors, so I carried them outside to sleep on the grass while the building burnt to the ground. Then I rebuilt the complex, replaced everyone's belongings, and put them in their new beds before they awoke.
Story Quote"Well, it could be worse. He could have ended up at the bottom of the ocean, instead of near the surface. Then again, at least that would have been a quick death. Who knows how long he'll last if he can't get his powers working again, if only once more?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutHe shakes his head. "I have to go. I have to get as far away from you as possible. If my curse ever does wear off, it won't happen with me around." // "You don't know that," Lucy echoes him. "Don't run away from your responsibility." Yeah, hard to argue with that. #OliverSpout
PremoderationI don't know where we are. I don't even know what universe we're in. So it's not like being able to get back to where we started will necessarily help us, but I figure it's better to know, and like I said, it's a good way to test non-supernatural skill channeling. #Premoderation
Random NothingSometimes I wish I could go back in time just so my future self could let me know when my office mate is going to come back from his rounds, so I can sing as loud as I want to until then. #relatable
Story Quote"He slides his finger across the faces, edges, and corners in a pattern to release the locking mechanism of the puzzle box. Inside is a mostly spherical object that comes to a point at the top as a cone dropped upon its ice cream. Upon that is a needle." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver sits down next to her on the edge of the bed. Neither talks for a few moments. "What do you want to do? Do you want to try to go back to the Civic Center to get answers?" // "Yeah, because that worked out so well for us last time," Lucy replies sarcastically. #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe tires hit gravel, and keep going for 1.545 kilometers, then we're back on pavement, which leads to an underground garage. I can tell by the way sound echoes on the walls. Once the door closes down behind us, the bags over our heads come off. We blink to adapt. #Premoderation
NanostoryUsing an inflation calculator, I went back through my work history, and realized that for every job, I've made the same relative amount of money as always. I made $7.00/hour as a grocery store clerk in 1995, and now I manage a team of 10 people, and only make $13.88/hour. #WTAF?
Story Quote"Their relief is short-lived when the bottom of the ship begins to disappear. 'Ram,' Angela says. // 'I know.' Ramses gets on his stomach and starts to furiously paddle himself towards it. // 'Ram, it’s sinking,' Angela furthers. // 'I know!' he repeats." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutThey happen to sigh at the same time. "Ya know, I keep track of sunrise and sunset, but I don't need the weather app anymore. I just kind of remember when it happens, based on the time of year. I can teach you…until the curse wears off, of course." // "Of course." #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe authorities usher us out of the vehicle. "Welcome to the Selective Transgenics Administration building, also known as The Station. Here you will be well taken care of while a committee decides whether you deserve to be reintroduced into society, or kept here." #Premoderation
Fake ConversationSubstitute Teacher: "James Foley?" // James Foley: "Here." // Teacher: "Glenn Garry?" // Glenn Garry: "Yeah, here." // Teacher: "Glen Ross?" // Glen Ross: "Present." // Teacher: "Wait, there aren't any students with last names that start with H through Q?"
Story Quote"Yes, he took rocks from the desert. Each one has oxygen and hydrogen trapped inside, and a process called electrolysis allows a scientist such as himself to extract both. The results can then theoretically be recombined to produce water, which he did." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutMother always said that I should try to walk miles in other people's shoes," Lucy muses. "I suppose this is an opportunity that most people never get. Yeah, sure. Teach me how to be a gargoyle." // "Okay, but let's try not to touch, just in case in makes it worse." #OliverSpout
Premoderation"I assure you that we will not be staying here," I inform the boss politely. "If I don't like what you decide, I'm just going to find a way to leave. I can guarantee you that." // He chuckles. "Good luck with that. We have top of the line security. No one escapes." #Premoderation
Random NothingWho are you to decide what Stuff I Should Know, Podcast?
Story Quote"So far, neither of them has experienced any health issues. They were likely never in any danger. Even so, it was a necessary precaution, and one which might yet prove to be inadequate. They still have to see what it's like for them down on the surface." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver and Lucy maintain social distancing for about a week before they determine that it isn't likely making much difference. After a month, they decide that they can have sex again. After six months, they figure that the curse is probably never going away in her. #OliverSpout
PremoderationI don't want to argue with him about it, or let on that I have special abilities. Or rather, I have the potential for special abilities, which is an important distinction. Whatever this place is, they may be equipped to test for all sorts of biological anomalies. #Premoderation
“Joke”Dick Sporting Good just gave me another free backpack cooler! There are already, like, ten of these in my garage.
Story Quote"Zeferino had a way with the ladies. As far as she knows, he never abused his power, but he did enjoy the occasional recreational…event. Nerakali would be a better comparison, but she seemed to have no interest. There is no precedent for this situation." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutIt's Christmastime now. The four of them have fallen into a routine—the extra Kostya having gone off to an undisclosed location for an exciting new life. Oliver and Lucy got their jobs back at the night club, and work short shifts after dark. She had to quit school. #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe cops hand us off to guards, who escort us to our cell. The boss was right. It's more like a suite, with all sorts of amenities, like a television, and a minibar. It does not have windows, though, and of course, we can't leave. Nothing else happens that night. #Premoderation
NanostoryI was grounded on this day exactly 25 years ago when I was 10 years old, and I remember that, because the first #Christmas episode of #SouthPark was on as I was eating my dinner alone. I wasn't allowed to turn my head towards the TV, but I caught a few glimpses.
Story Quote"Physically, she's feeling fine. She still doesn't understand why. What does Angela's relativisitc trip have to do with her recovery? She's not really dwelling on that, though. She knows that she'll see her sister again one day. Heath is gone forever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutKostya and Skylar are acting weird at dinner, exchanging odd glances, and having trouble looking the other two in the eye. "What's going on?" Oliver asks. "You two didn't…?" // "No," Skylar stops him with a laugh." // "Oh, good." He's always worried. // "Not yet." #OliverSpout
Premoderation"Tell them as little as possible," I advise Nahandrel. "They're going to assume that you're a genetically modified human. You have human DNA in your blood, so lean into that." // "I what? WHAT!" // "Oh, you didn't know that, did you? Do you wanna hear the story?" #Premoderation
Random NothingThe Rainforest of Theseus.
Story Quote"Four bedrooms—two with this reality's analog to king-sized beds, and two with queen-sized analog—a decent kitchenette, and a luxurious living room, but one glaring omission is a temporal sciences lab. But that's okay, because this is what Marie needs." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"What does that mean, not yet?" Oliver questions. // "Look, it was my idea," Skylar says. // "WHAT was your idea?" he presses. // "Four people walk into a room," Kostya begins. "Three of them are gargoyles. The fourth isn't." // Oliver takes a moment to process that. #OliverSpout
Premoderation"Nah," he denies. "I am not human. Ochivari evolved millions of years ago, light years from Earth." // "That doesn't mean you have no connection to humans. Remember, some people are time travelers. How else do you suppose your species can naturally bulk travel?" #Premoderation
Random NothingLast one out, first one in, like a viking.
Story Quote"It's been a long time since he's thought about this place. He and his family came here to avoid being caught by an evil version of Horace Reaver, but as far as they knew, there wasn't anything special about it. Or not. Maybe his mother knew all along." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver's fork has been balancing on his finger since this section of the conversation began, but now it falls to his plate. "You want to become a gargoyle, and you're going to have sex with my sister to do it." // "Well, it's weird when you lay it all out like that." #OliverSpout
PremoderationNahandrel is frowning, but in an angry way. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to burst your bubble, but five million years ago, in your universe, a couple of humans got stuck on prehistoric Worlon. They had a baby while the mother was infected with an ancestor of yours." #Premoderation
NanostoryThat's it, I'm moving back to this planet. I thought I would enjoy Mars, but that's because I didn't realize that @elonmusk is already there. If you think the robot he left on Earth to pretend to be him is an asshole, wait until you meet the genuine article. #worstworldmateever
Story Quote"Once is an occurrence, twice is a coincidence, and thrice is a pattern. From Mateo's perspective, twice is evidence enough. Even if he's not the cause of this issue, he's certainly not helping. This investigation is going to have to move on without him." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver is not stupid. If he forbids his sister from having transactional sex, she's just going to want to do it more. He doesn't believe in controlling her body anyway. He just…can't agree with this choice. Sex should be for love or fun, not for transmitting curses. #OliverSpout
Premoderation"I don't know why you're being so cryptic," Nahandrel complains. "You're obviously talking about Limerick Hawthorne. You're telling me that every Ochivar is descended from him?" // "That's a strong way to put it. You're…chimera, you still have some of his DNA." #Premoderation
Random NothingDon't try it 'til you knock it.
Story Quote"They're at fault, but not for the reasons everyone thinks. Admitting responsibility would open the door for the authorities and the public to ask questions that neither Winona, nor the rest of the SD6, want to answer. The team doesn't want that either." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver composes himself, and tries to think of the right words to use. "I can't tell you who to sleep with, so I'm not going to try." He faces Kostya. "Instead, I'll plead my case to you, because I don't think you truly understand what you're trying to sign up for." #OliverSpout
PremoderationHe turns away to process. "This changes everything." // "You're not the first Ochivar to learn this. I mean, I don't know who, but there's no way no one on Worlon has figured this out. You have DNA testing. Otherwise, you couldn't have made the infertility virus." #Premoderation
“Joke”Costco should give discounts to members.
Story Quote"Arcadia takes a deep breath. She's ready to face this, or hopes that she is. She opens the door, only to pull it back immediately. 'Drive.' // 'What? Why? Vearden asks. // 'Please just go, or you're going to get Leona in trouble.' // He starts the car." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I've thought a lot about this," Kostya claims. "I've been watching you, and I understand what your life is like. I've also been living like you for the last two weeks." // "How's that?" Skylar asks. // "I lock myself in a closet for twelve hours, and don't move." #OliverSpout
PremoderationNahandrel turns away even more. "I think I need to sleep." // "Okay." I decide not to say anything. I just complete my nightly routine, and get into my own bed. After we eat some of the cereal-like food stocked here for us, the phone rings. We are being summoned. #Premoderation
“Joke”I've only been alive for less than 36 years, and I've already been to 11 places.
Story Quote"She hates this now. She hates everything she used to love or like. She's just bitter and angry, and nothing seems right anymore. She shouldn't take it out on the team, though, and she knows it. Hopefully they understand, and won't hold it against her." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"How do you eat? How do you go to the bathroom?" Lucy questions. // "Well, obviously I stop to do those things. But ONLY those things. I've been pretty diligent about it, and once I'm like you, I won't have to work at it, it'll just happen. Please, I'm not crazy." #OliverSpout
PremoderationBlinking lights on the walls of the hallways direct us to where we're meant to go. We follow them respectfully, but I try to generate a map of the route in my head. I no longer have access Claire's military training, but I can certainly try to utilize my own brain. #Premoderation
NanostoryMy parole officer: "Hey, you wanna try this chocolate chip cookie dough pizza?" // Me: "Oh my God, I've never heard of that, it sounds amazing!" // P.O.: "It has fruit for the toppings." // Me: "Get the hell out of my house right now!" // P.O.: "This is my house." // Me: "OUT!"
Story Quote"It's showing those coordinates to be a mental hospital, which doesn't sound good. No one else's device is on, or they've switched off location tracking. Either way, they're not picking up. She can sit here alone and be useless, or she can try to help." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutOliver stands calmly. "If you think that hanging out in a closet for several hours is what the three of us go through every day, then you are not ready for this life. I've said all I'm going to say; the rest is up to you. I trust you'll both make the right decision." #OliverSpout
PremoderationWe come to the interrogation room, which looks like the set of a celebrity interview broadcast. One chair is behind a desk, while two others have been placed at an angle next to it. A woman in a lab coat is sitting at the desk. She motions for us to take our seats. #Premoderation
“Joke”I left this slot blank hoping that I would come up with a good Christmas joke. It's great when it ends up on a Sunday, so I wanted it to be epic, but religion is no joke. It kills 8 million people each year. Oh wait, no…that's tobacco. Religion just holds 8 billion people back.
Story Quote"Obviously she knew it had nothing to do with smell. Catching a scent was just the easiest way to put it without having a degree in neurology. Still, psychic is a bit of a stretch. If she can read minds, shouldn't she have done so accidentally by now?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutDinner ends, and the four of them try to move on from the conversation. Nothing has to be decided right now. As sunrise is approaching, the three gargoyles prepare for the end of their day. Someone knocks on the door, and Kostya volunteers to answer. It's Siria Webb. #OliverSpout
PremoderationNahandrel and I sit. The scientist snaps her fingers. Lights come on, blinding the two of us. Still, we can see the outline of people in the audience. I was joking, but maybe this really is a TV show. Though, I don't see any cameras, so perhaps a live performance. #Premoderation
Random NothingMy roommate is Usonian. My flatmate is British. We're hosting a houseguest who is bigbrotherian. This is a bad joke that I wish I could take back, but Trump has another gun to my head, and he says that I'm not allowed to undo my mistakes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Story Quote"All she can think is how much Heath would like this. She didn't kill him, but she is responsible for it. She feels responsible for everything. Being the captain is great until you count up all the pain it's caused. She should step down and disappear." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSiria smiles. "It took some time, but Alexina managed to contact me. She told me about what happened to you with Quickfire." // "With what?" Sky asks. // "Quickfire. That's Kalisha's code name. I realized why her arrival suppressed your curse. It's all about energy." #OliverSpout
Premoderation"Thank you for joining us. Pay no attention to the audience. Could we have your names. please?" // "You first," I say. // She chuckles. "You may call me The Interviewer. And you?" // "I'm Gaius. This is my associate, Aragorn." It's the first name that came to me. #Premoderation
“Joke”"Walk". They say to just walk to get exercise. You need to check your privilege. I don't have much room to walk. I live on that tiny planet from that one episode of Rick and Morty.
Story Quote"If this doesn't work, they'll have to wait a whole other week until the next window opens. When they left, everything seemed fine, but a lot can happen in seven days. Things might have taken a huge turn, and it would only get worse. The moment of truth." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You see," Siria goes on, "your problem is time. Time is powered by temporal energy, and when you run out of it, that's just entropy breaking you down. You, on the other hand, run out of temporal energy really quickly. I can't say why, but I may be able to patch it." #OliverSpout
PremoderationThe Interviewer keeps asking questions, but I'm not too concerned about that. I need answers about them more than they need answers about me. And since they're not going to give it freely, I need to channel a character who has telepathy. Keefe qualifies for that. #Premoderation
Random NothingI got a cookie fortune yesterday that said YOU WILL NEVER WATCH #RICKANDMORTY AGAIN so I am fighting for my life today.
Story Quote"This is the center of all of it? It's nothing special, or at least it doesn't look it. Maybe it leads to a giant high tech underground complex, like the one under her farm. This could hold the key to the answers they've been asking since they arrived." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver SpoutSiria holds up a plastic water bottle. "This is special water called Existence. It's not permanent unless you drink certain other special waters, but I chose it because the Bermuda Triangle is the easiest to access. If it doesn't help it's harmless, but if it does…" #OliverSpout
PremoderationThere are other telepaths in my stories, but Keefe is particularly good at absorbing the thoughts of multiple people at once, and teasing the information that he needs. Right now, I'm just trying to get an idea of what this world is like. Who is in the audience?" #Premoderation
Fake ConversationMe: *slides over a one-dollar bill* "Now you're my lawyer." // Lawyer: "Uhh…my retainer is quite a bit higher than this." // Me: "I know. Here's the rest." *opens a duffel bag of a million dollars, covered in blood and heroin* "What if I accidentally stole from a drug kingpin?"
Story Quote"They are not getting anywhere with these extra people around. The core group needs to peel off, and discuss things on their own. They all trust Winona by now, but she doesn't need to be involved, so maybe she would agree to guard the others for them." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"You're telling me that if we drink that, our curse will be temporarily suppressed?" Oliver asks Siria. // "Not WILL; MIGHT." // "I'll test it," Oliver decides. // "No, I will," Lucy volunteers. "The last time you tested something, you literally died. It's my turn." #OliverSpout
PremoderationOoo, there are a lot of heavy hitters here. A cursory read on these people's minds reveals them to be government officials from all over the globe, military officers, corporate executives, a few celebrity scientists… Nahandrel and I should be flattered, I suppose. #Premoderation
“Joke”I feel like sundown was later a few months ago. What's going on. I thought the sun didn't move. Liars. Who's on a flat Earth now?
Story Quote"He's lying or he's wrong. This isn't his mind. He is an intruder here, just like everyone else. This brain can only be controlled by one man, and even if Kivi can't find that man, Meredarchos still does not have an advantage here. She can fight back." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Oliver Spout"I'll test it," Skylar insists. "I'm a natural gargoyle, it makes the most sense." Before anyone can stop her, she snatches the bottle of magic water from Siria, and chugs it down. A few minutes later, the sun rises. Oliver and Lucy freeze in place. Skylar does not. #OliverSpout
PremoderationThis seems to be some kind of multinational oversight committee, full of compartmentalized secrets, and futurological planning. Then I see it, the only thought that matters. This IS Cricket's universe, just centuries in the past. I need to become a time traveler. #Premoderation
Fake ConversationPeople always call it the 'descent' into madness, but what if it's actually an 'ascent'? What if everyone just believes that insanity is below them…because they're all upside down?
Story Quote"Someone is in there all right, but it's impossible to tell whether it's Erlendr, or someone who has been stored the whole time. Ramses didn't get a chance to test the interface before the whole thing went down at the black site. He's working on it now." #salmonverse #fishquotes

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