2021 Story Archive





January 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
D.B. Cooper TruthMy name is Danko Bartolomew Cooper, and I'm a time traveler. I can't just go anywhere in the timeline that I want. I have to be falling first. The faster and farther I fall, the further I can go, and making these calculations can be a real pain. But it's worth it. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisEvery Thursday, it's the same thing. I don't normally drive down this street, but it's the quickest route to work after I drop my dog off at daycare. I've been using my maps app every day, not because I don't know where I'm going, but I like to watch the traffic. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm Nick Fisherman, and I can't be sure I approve this message. You see, I shot this separately from the commercial you just saw. All parts of a commercial are shot separately, which means they could tack this at the end of anything, and make it look like I approve of whatever.
Story Quote"If you don’t like it, *tive criticism is fine, but don’t go around calling me a * * * *, or a * * * who can’t even * when * is on *, you piece * *, standing there with * and * * * shoelaces around your *. Okay, maybe some of these will be a little funny." #clozetests #fishquotes
2
D.B. Cooper TruthI love to travel, and to be in places that I'm not supposed to. I can't go watch dinosaurs roam the Earth, but I can witness recent human history unfold, and gain perspective about civilization. I try not to change the past, though. I've never been one to meddle. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisAt this one spot, the app goes into dark mode. It stays there for about two seconds, and then goes back to normal. It happens without fail, and of course that's not a big deal, whatever, but I've always wondered just what the heck is going on. Why does it do that? #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm a brony, man; just a brony. Just brony. Jabroni.
Story Quote"Zek activated the rendezvous card by flicking it out of her hand, which transported them to some unknown location in the middle of the forest. They were alone, but not for long. Pretty soon, several spots before them started warping with technicolors." #darningwars #fishquotes
3
D.B. Cooper TruthMy life was pretty great. I could find a cliff here, or a two story building there, and that would let me go back in time as far as I wanted to go. But I'm not the only time traveler, and no one else has my crazy falling limitation, and not all of them are nice. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere was a snowstorm the night before, and the roads are dangerously slick. I get a text after I've already dropped Daisy off, alerting me that work is closed. A lot of people in the office can work from home, but I can't, so I basically have the day off for free. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Your rapper name is the first word you ever spoke when no one was around to hear you, plus the last thing you said before you died. Mine is Albuquerque It Tastes Like Cyanide.
Story Quote"Without being asked, Imzadi teleported them to the bottom of the Mariana Trench, where they found themselves floating in the middle of an extensive underwater city. The Parallel natives saw everywhere as a place to live. Seemed too dangerous to Mateo." #salmonverse #fishquotes
4
D.B. Cooper TruthMy ability has its limits because I always have to find the right height to fall from. I met this other traveler who had no such limits, and I don't know what I did to piss him off, but whatever it was, it was enough to make him feel like he had to trap me in 1971. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWhat should I do with my extra time? Why, I should investigate this weird dark mode glitch. It's probably just an error in the app, but again, I got all this time, so I might as well see. I turn around, and drive back past the block. Then I do it a few more times. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy parole officer's nephew: "Why is there a dead fly in this cabinet?" // Me: "That's where it goes."
Story Quote"Anyway, I keep *, and the *er I make it into the *, the calmer I begin to *. The noises of the * fade, and I find myself *, which is how I always liked it before I met *. Maybe * aren’t so bad after all. Maybe I’m just a * grump. Wouldn't that be just *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
5
D.B. Cooper TruthNow, I like 1971 as much as the next guy, but only as a visitor. I wouldn't want to live here full time. There aren't any computers, and it kind of has this certain smell. I have two options to get out of here. I can make a series of short jumps…or one big jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere's not much that I can do to test this glitch, but I can get out, and see if it happens while I'm walking. I mean, I shouldn't, because it's well below freezing, but I do it, because it's important that I not be productive today. That would be a true waste. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingLou Diamond Phillip Seymour Hoffman. That is all.
Story Quote"Shortly after I * here, I was so paranoid about that possibility that I * this place apart, looking for surveillance *. I didn’t find *ing, but I’m not getting my deposit *, that’s for *. I didn’t ________ destroy the place, but I did cause a * damage." #clozetests #fishquotes
6
D.B. Cooper TruthEach method comes with problems. The short jumps will tire me out, as they always do. I normally have to take a day or two to recover, and that's a lot of time for as far forward as I have to time travel. The big jump is a problem, because I can't get up that high. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWalking actually does help, because it's much more precise. Now I can see that dark mode turns on just as I cross what I assume is the property line for this one particular house. As soon as I cross back out of it on the other side, it turns off. It's this house. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryInterpreter: "The seer says that the sun will explode in ten billion years. Wait, I translated this wrong. Ten billion nanoseconds, he said. Wait…that's only, like, ten sec—oh, crap."
Story Quote"It’s more * to get trapped in an off-* conversation with each *. My co-*s were always just hanging out in *, and not in a way that let me * out either. We weren’t * with business yet, so we all had to * around anyway. It was so pointless, really, I * it." #clozetests #fishquotes
7
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm leaning towards the big jump, because I did once try a series of short jumps by skipping a few steps, and not only did it tire me out, but it completely stopped working for a few days. I never knew if I was just out of shape, or if it was a built-in limitation. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe house doesn't look different than any of the others in this neighborhood. It has brick siding on the bottom, and vinyl above, and a garage that comes all the way out from the façade. It's weed-free, and well-maintained. I would call it perfectly unremarkable. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't ask for whom the bell tolls. It just does that every day; we don't know why.
Story Quote"I’m worried it’s a * that will destroy the *, though, so I spend the next * looking for my old *. I mean, this * is ancient. It still boots up, but the * I’m not using my * computer is because I don’t want there to be any * of the * connecting to the *." #clozetests #fishquotes
8
D.B. Cooper TruthHow can I get up high enough for a big jump? I could jump off the highest building around, and just do that multiple times, but then people will start noticing that a man keeps jumping, and disappearing for years before resurfacing. We don't need that attention. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI only notice a difference when I step off of the sidewalk, and onto the private walkway, which I know I shouldn't do. There's no sign that says no solicitors, or one claiming that they'll shoot trespassers, but I just have to know. It's warmer. It's a lot warmer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't count your chickens before I'm done killing the ones I don't like.
Story Quote"There are, after all, seven and a half billion people, or so. So what if someone did that? Made a restaurant just for the weirdos like me? You wouldn’t have to eat anything you didn’t want, but you would be encouraged to try other people’s odd favorites." #clozetests #fishquotes
9
D.B. Cooper TruthI think about it hard, but I already know I have only one good option. Well, I probably can't call it a good option, but it's the only viable one, at the very least. I need a plane. I need to jump out of a plane. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Piece of cake. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere is something very, very weird about this house, and I'm in too deep. If I don't go ring the doorbell, the mystery is going to keep me up at night for the rest of my life. I'm not brave, but I figure my car is parked nearby, so they'll find my body eventually. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI sometimes like to kidnap two percent of the people in a small town, and leave their belongings right where people last saw them; ya know, to make the rest of the town think their neighbors all went insane and ran off somewhere naked.
Story Quote"It was kind of a coincidence that both parent species chose to seed life on the same planet, except it wasn’t that far-fetched, because there were a finite number of hospitable worlds available, and humans wanted to live everywhere they possibly could." #darningwars #fishquotes
10
D.B. Cooper TruthJumping out of a plane isn't any more dangerous than jumping off the roof of a building. Both will kill me; one will just do it faster. Still, I've never tried it before, and I'm very nervous about it. Finding the right pilot to take me up is my first step, though. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisA large needle comes out of the doorbell as I push it. It comes out fast, and goes all the way through my finger. I thought I've felt pain before, but this is several levels above that. There's nothing I can do now except fall to my back and hope for a quick death. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Italian angels speak gnocchian.
Story Quote"People were already living in megastructures that avoided damaging large swathes of land by going more vertical. There were plans to take this further, and start hanging all of their structures from orbit, so they never had to touch the ground at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
11
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm an idiot. Even though I have to keep my time travel a secret, it's just not in my nature to lie. So when I try to go up in the air with a skydiver, and I reject the parachute, he immediately assumes I'm trying to kill myself, and of course, doesn't let me jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI roll to my stomach as I'm screaming as loud as possible. A desperate young woman is trying to get her dog to poop in the yard next door, and she doesn't hear me. She might not even see me. I may have slipped past the veil of death already without realizing it. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”It's not illegal to take your clothes off on television, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would have to be a really strong TV to support your weight while you're taking off your clothes.
Story Quote"I didn't know that * could talk, but I've always *ed to * with *s. I've been so * curious what they're *ing about, how * they are, and most importantly, what they * of humans. I am no linguistic *, but I did study it in *, and this is a * opportunity." #clozetests #fishquotes
12
D.B. Cooper TruthNo problem, I figure. I can find any random small airplane pilot to take me up, and I'll be much more discreet this time. I'll even wear the parachute, then just not deploy it. But news travels fast in the overworld of skydiving. They all know to look out for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe door opens, but I'm unable to look back before a pair of hands grasps me at the ankles and pull me into the house alarmingly fast. I can see the door slam shut on its own just before I round the corner. The evil hands continue to drag me throughout the house. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo not fire until you see the blues of my eyes. When my eyes turn blue, it means it's become too cold for my body, and I need you to start the fire again.
Story Quote"I saw one a few * back where the * date was the same as the * date. What * there? I mean, I * what happened *. But how did the * react, and what became of * afterwards? It * have been heart*, I don’t know what I would have done if I were a * of that *." #clozetests #fishquotes
13
D.B. Cooper TruthThe more I try to find a pilot who doesn't know who I am, or what I'm supposedly planning to do, the harder it becomes. What is going on with these people? It's 1971, but they're acting like they already have access to some kind of global microblogging platform. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisDid I say house? It's more like a castle, and bigger on the inside. We go down two flights of stairs, and then up three, and then down one, which for anyone keeping track, should leave us back on the ground floor. But who knows, right? This is supernatural anyway. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI invented cookies, and I invented cream, but it was entirely different genius who thought to put them together. We finally met 90 years later, and ended up being married for the next 250.
Story Quote"It’s stuck in the * as much as I’m trapped on this *. I think at any * that I should * up and discover this is nothing * than a *, but that never happens. Perhaps a *ulation? The ceiling * belonged to a virtual * company. Yeah, that must be the *, right?" #clozetests #fishquotes
14
D.B. Cooper TruthNow my only hope seems to be getting myself on a regular passenger jet, but that can't possibly work. I would have to open the door while it's in the sky, and that's dangerous for everyone else. I would need to get everyone else off of it first, and that's a crime. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisFinally the dragger stops, and leaves me on the floor for a moment. I want to turn over so I can at least see what's about to kill me, but I'm in way too much pain. It's a miracle I've survived this far. It doesn't let me rest long before it lifts me into the air. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationTow Dispatch: "We can have a truck out to you in an hour. What kind of car are you driving?" // Me: "Uhh…looks like a Honda Airbag." // Dispatch: "That is not the model, sir." // Me: "Honda…Passenger Airbag?" // Dispatch: "Did you steal this vehicle, sir?" // Me: *hangs up*
Story Quote"Plenty of * don’t go to * , and they lead very * lives. Not * can be the CEO of a multinational *, and it’s foolish to dig yourself into a mountain of * just on the fraction of a * chance that it all comes * for you. I choose to be *istic, and I won’t *." #clozetests #fishquotes
15
D.B. Cooper TruthIt is a crime I'm willing to commit. The ends justify the means. I don't want to spend another day in 1971. It's already made me crazy enough to hijack a damn airplane. How bad will it get if I stay here any longer? I sit down, and start working out the details. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisIt slams me against the wall, and looks into my eyes. Its own eyes are down on its chin, while its ears are hanging underneath. A very large mouth is in the middle of its head, with sharp teeth, and a shockingly pleasant smell. I can't find its own nose, though. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingI'm always looking for that sweet, sweet sign that reads LLAMAS PERMITTED.
Story Quote"I roll my *, and take a kitchen * out of the *. I hand it to *, and before I can lay down some * rules, she slides the * across my *. It *. I don’t know what I * was going to *, but not this. This hurts. This is what * feels like? * feel this all the *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
16
D.B. Cooper TruthMy main priority is keeping other people safe, though the plan itself is risky. I could live my life from here on out, and while I would hate it, at least no one else would suffer. But it will be okay. I can escape and protect the other passengers simultaneously. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe creature hisses at me. "Why have you come?" // "I was curious," I answer, wishing I could wipe the blood from my lips. // "Curious about what?" it hisses back. // "My phone," I say. "It goes into dark mode as I pass." // "What is dark mode? That sounds fun." #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI'm writing a screenplay about a kid who finds a meteor in the woods, and then gets superpowers. He doesn't get the powers from the meteor, though. He buys them from an urban wizard later that day. I guess I don't know why there's a meteor at all; it never comes up again.
Story Quote"They looked at her, a little shocked, but not completely surprised. They knew she was all gung ho about killing the Ochivari, but she was also quite protective of her universe, and if keeping this ship around put it in danger, was that worth the risk?" #darningwars #fishquotes
17
D.B. Cooper TruthI also need to spend a lot of time working on the math. One thing I've not yet mentioned is that I can't choose when the actual jump occurs. It will always happen just before I hit the ground. I guess it's the sick joke part of my amazing time traveling ability. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The screen just turns darker, so it doesn't block you from seeing the road." // "That does not sound very fun," it says angrily. "You deceive me with your words!" // "I meant no disrespect." // "I suppose I can forgive the mistake of a human." // "What are you?" #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have no disappointments, no shames, nor egrets. I've had a little bit of heron.
Story Quote"Mateo reached to the back of his neck, even though he was pretty sure he wasn’t in his body anymore anyway, and this was about as real as any dream. The patch was gone, as was the pain, but he still felt some connection to it. Perhaps he always would." #salmonverse #fishquotes
18
D.B. Cooper TruthA skydiving plane would be perfect, because they only go up to about 3,000 meters, which is exactly what I need for the math to work out. So now I need to work out the social aspect of this plan, to make sure the pilot flies at the altitude I need, and no higher. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You could not pronounce my name with your tongue," the creature answers. "You can call me Bringer of Death." // "Okay. Would you please let me go, Bringer of Death?" // "Will you run?" // "I cannot run," I reply truthfully. // "I am not surprised." He releases me. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryMy species evolved with what essentially come down to taste buds in our butts. Evolutionary biologists claim our ancestors used to be able to detect medical conditions through our stool, but I hesitate to believe that. My theory is that we were genetically engineered as a joke.
Story Quote"One *, I even slipped in one of my real *, just to see how it would be *. It didn’t get great *, but they actually weren’t that bad. There were just fewer of them this time, because fewer * were * in providing their *. It was only an ex*, so that’s fine." #clozetests #fishquotes
19
D.B. Cooper TruthThis flight to Seattle seems a good of a choice as any. It really doesn't matter, as long as it can reach the right altitude. I can't believe I'm actually doing it, hijacking a plane. But I have to get home, it's killing me here. It's too far…too far in the past. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I did not know what I would find in this house," I say as I'm massaging my neck and chest. "I would not have approached if I had. I would very much like to leave, and forget this ever happened." // "You think I will be so easily fooled?" The Bringer of Death asks. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI like the part of the movie #Breakthrough where the mother drags her son's hospital bed back to the water and drowns him again. I watched it out of the corner of my eye on someone else's screen on an airplane, so I'm not sure what drove her to do this.
Story Quote"Where do these * end? Well, some will * you into another human *, but others lead to an *, or even an insect. Some of them exit right back * at the *, so you can * again, and a few will * you into an * worker, like the * who’s explaining all this to *." #clozetests #fishquotes
20
D.B. Cooper TruthTo make it look real, I carry a black case to the airport, knowing that security is lax enough in this time period for me to get away with taking a fake bomb onto an airplane. I pay with cash, one-way, and board with everyone else. Seat 18C. I order myself a drink. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I am not trying to fool you, Bringer. I am begging for my life." // "That could be fun," he decides. "Do it better! Make me pity you!" // I get on my bloody knees and beg. I make sure he knows how amazing and terrible he is, and that only he can choose my fate. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Hot tip: if you don't have a tissue handy, you can sneeze into the back of the neck of the person standing in front of you in line. It's me, and I can't confront you about it, because I'm still on parole.
Story Quote"One leads from my * to the * about a * away, and the * is only half as long, but it goes from my *, which is already * deeply in the *. I realize that my * goal is to disappear, not just sur*. Over time, I decide it doesn’t * if I truly need to or not." #clozetests #fishquotes
21
D.B. Cooper TruthSoon after we take off, I make my move. I hand the flight attendant a note, but she doesn't read it, because she just thinks I'm hitting on her. I coax her into doing it, and she complies with my demand that she sit next to me quietly. She demands to see the bomb. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer laughs. "Oh, it has been so long since I've tasted the fear in a man's voice. You do not know how much I yearn to leave this place." // "How long has it been?" I question. // "Centuries since The Adorned Ones trapped me here. Has the world changed much?" #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo you think flamingos know that their food turns them pink? If not, do you think it would bother them if I were to tell them?
Story Quote"Obviously, it’s even * of a violation, however, so I've only ever done it *. And that was just to * if I was capable of it. The subject consented to my *, and I * him from any hold I had over him * afterwards. I possess no ambition to * any*, for any *." #clozetests #fishquotes
22
D.B. Cooper TruthI ask for parachutes and $200,000, but I'm not sure if that's too much, or too little, because we don't have money where I'm from. The pilot draws circles in the sky while the authorities gather what I've asked for. Then we land, and I let all of the passengers go. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The world has changed little since you've been trapped," I lie. // "The darkness," he begins. "Has the darkness overtaken the lands, as my master promised?" // "It has," I lie again. "I cannot see without my torch." I show him my phone. He is disinterested in it. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationPinky: "What are we doing tonight?" // The Brain: "Same thing we do every night, Pinky…try to make an original reference to a 90s animated series."
Story Quote"This looks like a great * to escape, which is why I can’t. They’re testing *, and because it’s starting * so easy, not to see how I * to get out, but how I sur* once I’m *. We’re probably * a volcano, or a ship. I’m staying right *, thank you very much." #clozetests #fishquotes
23
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce they're done refueling, we take off again, but only with the bare minimum crew. We decide to refuel yet again in Reno so I can make it all the way to Mexico City, but of course, that doesn't matter to me, because I'll be getting off long before that anyway. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I would much like to see," Bringer says. "I caught a glimpse of the night as I pulled you in, but could not stay long. The bell only affords me one second of a proximity to freedom." That's it. That's what turns on dark mode. My phone thinks it's nighttime here. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”If I were a competitive runner, I would probably try to move my legs really fast, so I could get to the finish line first. I guess it takes someone further removed from the sport to figure this out.
Story Quote"The receptionist smiled at them, took down their info, and relayed it to the appropriate representative. Then she asked them to sit in the waiting room. No one else there was the least bit concerned about Khuweka’s form. This seemed like a nice world." #darningwars #fishquotes
24
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce all of the crew is in the cockpit where it's safest, I lower the stairs, open the hatch, and jump into the air. I want to hesitate and prepare myself, but I've done enough. The math is right, the altitude is perfect, and I'm ready to sink or swim, so to speak. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"What would happen if the sun returns?" I would say I'm doing a fine job on the improv. // "That would surely kill me," he explains. // "There are some places where the sun peaks through, and they are near this place. If we venture out, we would have to take care." #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy Girlfriend: "Will you marry me?" // Me: "Yes, yes, YES! Five times 'yes'!
Story Quote"They felt the slight tug that came each time they teleported. It was subtle, and easy to get used to, but stronger now, because they did it again. And again, and again, and again. 'Time to destination: sixteen hours, forty-two minutes,' Imzadi reported." #salmonverse #fishquotes
25
D.B. Cooper TruthIt's freezing cold on the way down, but I know it won't have a chance to kill me. I can bear it for the duration. I count the seconds in my head. One. Two. Three. All the way to twenty-three. If I go for much longer, I'll hit the ground, and that will be it for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You would do this?" he asks out of hope. "You would do this for me?" // "You spared my life, and so I must repay you. It is our way." Yeah, I'm a better actor than I ever knew. // I think he's smiling. "We will go now. You will have no time to recover." // "Okay." #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Have you been the victim of a hit and run? Have you experienced a conflict with your neighbor? Did you accidentally kill someone? We take any case; no matter how small. You can always count on Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith & Smith.
Story Quote"I turn my * yet again. The paintings have fallen to the *, and the wall* is peeling. Chairs are turned *, and a few are broken. I have either just * to the future, or * to some kind of eerie upside down silent ghost dimension. I have to find help, and *." #clozetests #fishquotes
26
D.B. Cooper TruthJust before the trees can spear me, I open my portal, and make the jump to the future. Now this is the hard part. I've just been gathering all this momentum, and that doesn't go away on its own. The exit portal opens upside down, so that now I'm "falling" upwards. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer doesn't urge me too forcefully as I'm following him through the castle maze. He understands that I'm badly hurt, and if he's been waiting centuries to walk out of here then he knows that he can wait a few extra minutes. We finally make it back to the foyer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryThat don't impress me. I once made an apple out of a bong. The starving child I gave it to found it a lot more useful than if I had done it the other way around.
Story Quote"They have taken it upon themselves to foster the * of younger civilizations. This * comes in many forms, but what they’ve found is that our * problems are our internal *. We just keep * each other, for stupid things, like religion, and *, and skin color." #clozetests #fishquotes
27
D.B. Cooper TruthGravity starts working against me, so while I'm able to go back up in the air pretty high, I soon reach a maximum, at which point I open another portal, about a minute into the future, and down on the ground. I do have a little leeway when it comes to the z-axis. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You can't open it yourself," I guess. // "Only an Adorned One can hold it open for more than one second." // "I got you," I say. I pull open the door, but immediately feel it trying to lock back into place. "Go! Go now!" // "You fool! I won't come back for you!" #ModusTenebris
Nanostory#BreakingBad didn't even get the full first season the writers wanted before it was cancelled three years ago, but now they're apparently considering no less than four⁠—FOUR⁠—spinoffs. What the hell is Nickelodeon thinking?
Story Quote"I have to * over to the * lane to pass *. Sometimes I even jog over to the exit lane, and quickly get * in, which I’m pretty * is illegal, but some * are only for * who can’t handle it. Anyway, I get off the * today, and there’s construction all over *." #clozetests #fishquotes
28
D.B. Cooper TruthI catch my breath, and look around, grateful that it worked, and I'm still alive. I don't know if I made it all the way exactly where I needed to, but it must be close enough. I know I traveled about 480 years, so it won't be too hard to make my way home from here. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWith an evil cackle, he races out of the door, just in time for me to lose my grip. I stand on my toes, and look out the little window. He's made it to the street, where he's discovered that the sun isn't gone after all. He smolders and screams. My plan has worked. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I keep accidentally spraying my armpits with my nose spray, and shoving deodorant up my nose. I don't know how to fix this.
Story Quote"I’m happy with what I’ve ended up doing, using quick installments to tell a larger story. There’s still a reason why they’re separated, and none of them is one unbroken tale that’s been arbitrarily divided, but I do love building worlds. I always have." #clozetests #fishquotes
29
D.B. Cooper TruthThe man who trapped me in 1971 appears from behind a tree, sporting an evil smile. I remind him that he agreed never to trap me again, and he confirms that this is true. But that doesn't mean I'm in the clear. He tells me that I made a mistake, and trapped myself. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI smile as the light burns Bringer's skin. Cars crash into each other so as to avoid hitting him, but they'll be fine. In under a minute, he's turned completely to ash. I can't believe how well that went. I killed some kind of demon. I didn't know I had it in me. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMe: "Would you love me if I got fat?" // Her: "No." // Me: "You wouldn't?" // Her: "But only because I don't know you, and don't love you now. Please answer the question; paper or plastic?" // Me: "Paper, obviously. Do you hate the environment, you monster? We're over."
Story Quote"Very good. Thanks, Botner. I’m sure you’ll do well. Botner turns off and there’s nothing more to read about science. And you may never know who wrote it, and you’ll be left with the question of how to go about doing some small fact-checking on the page." #botner #fishquotes
30
D.B. Cooper TruthIt turns out I didn't jump 483 years into the future. I jumped 483 years into the past. It's the year 1488, which is further back than I've ever been, and there is nothing in the world high and vertical enough to get me back to nearly a millennium into the future. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisNow that it's over, I reach for the knob, and try to pull the door open again. But it doesn't budge. It might as well just be a decorative hunk of metal screwed to a solid wall. I twist and pull, and pull and twist, but nothing. I'm trapped here, just like he was. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I was employee of the year two months in a row, except for the last week of the first month.
Story Quote"While a nurse for a time traveling doctor named Sarka, Freya once got hurt herself, and was given narcotics. She recalled feeling heavy and stiff, and believed she could detect the blood moving throughout her body. This was what it looked like for Zek." #darningwars #fishquotes
31
D.B. Cooper TruthI would die of old age trying to get home, or be so old that it becomes too taxing on my body. So instead, I'll die here. Alone. In a time before toilet paper was invented. The Cleanser laughs his ass off, and walks away through his own portal, dooming me to this. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI killed the demon, but took his place, and for the last year, I've been looking for some other way out of the castle, but there's nothing. This is worse than the time I almost died in the woods in Maine. I can't take it anymore. Someone. Please. Come ring my bell. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have never recognized the name or face of anyone who has appeared on #DancingWiththeStars.
Story Quote"Nerakali was ashamed that she had done this procedure before, but glad it would help now. She taught Leona alone how to remove Mateo’s decent memories, leaving only boring ones, like standing in line, and waiting for dial-up to connect to the internet." #salmonverse #fishquotes

February 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Mind of DaltonDalton is a time traveler, who lived his life three times. It would seem that these resets were some kind of test, which he passed once he fulfilled whatever potential he apparently had. And now he's in someone else's body, and wondering if it's yet another test. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI break out of the prison castle. All it took was slipping dozens of letters underneath the side door, and waiting for even just one of them to be taken by the wind, and delivered to someone willing to try to ring the doorbell, and unlock it for one second. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryIt makes me feel bad when I walk into a room, and everyone in it either teleports away, or phase-shifts through the wall. They do this every time. Should I switch deodorant brands? Or antidimensional cross-tricklers? No, I did not make up those words. Jerk. Yeah, you better run!
Story Quote"They take me on a two mile hike, then we sit around a campfire and they share their beers with me. It was a pretty sweet experience, even though I couldn't understand a word they were saying. I wake up bright and early, and it is sunny and gorgeous." #botner #fishquotes
2
Mind of DaltonDalton can tell that he's not himself, but he can't tell whose body this is. He looks for a mirror, but finds nothing of the sort. He reaches up, and starts trying to get a feel for it. Feminine figure, soft skin. Young. Perhaps far too young for all this groping. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeMy elation from having finally been released from the dark castle is shortlived. People in full hazmat suits rush up to me, stuff me in a van, and drive off. Others are there, chained up, but none of them will talk. We drive for several hours with no stops. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI'm technically a Carradine.
Story Quote"I poured the gas into the mouth of the nuclear bomb. Then I lit a match. It didn’t take long for the entire store to catch fire. I escaped with a few of my comrades, and we fled into the desert. I later learned that the whole thing was a controlled action." #botner #fishquotes
3
Mind of DaltonHe's in a bedroom, fit for a tween girl, supporting his theory about whose body he's been forced into possessing. He quietly opens a door, only to find that it's a closet. He opens another, but it leads to a hallway. He's hoping the third is a bathroom. It is not. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeWhen we arrive wherever, our captors drag us down a dark and extremely long staircase. They're not overly aggressive, but they maintain the pace, and we have to keep up. The other abductees don't look so good, but my castle had an endless supply of fresh meat. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryCould you tell me how deep this lake is? Is it deep enough to sink a car? I don't need to get rid of evidence; I just need to know if the lake is car deep. Don't tell anyone I asked, though. In fact, why don't you climb into this car?
Story Quote"He’s 30. We are only 19. So my parents said that if he married me before we are able to have sex, I’ll go to a boarding school. I think this is wrong. I want to be in school. I want to be close to my friends. I don’t want to be forced to stay at home." #botner #fishquotes
4
Mind of DaltonInstead of a bathroom, Dalton sees a swirling portal. He's never seen a portal before, but as a time traveler, he can't really be surprised by anything anymore. The smart thing to do would be to close the door, and never think about it again. So that's what he does. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe hazmat suiters continue to treat us harshly, spraying us with power-washers, and blasting us with lights. There's obviously been some kind of—I dunno, pandemic, or something. We're survivors, and I guess these people have to make sure we don't infect them. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingBehind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is a horde of angry 99%ers. They're gaining on us! Run faster!
Story Quote"5. I've hit a deer and I've flipped over a car (not at the same time). 6. I hate mushrooms and I'm vegetarian…but not for cultural reasons. When I'm inebriated I want nothing more than to have a plate of red, heart-shaped things for dessert." #botner #fishquotes
5
Mind of DaltonThis body feels tired, so he gets her into bed, and closes her eyes. He reawakens immediately, almost like a blink, and the world has changed. He's standing on grass. Large stones tower above him. It's Stonehenge, obviously. A lone smiling man starts a slow clap. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeEven though I get that they have to protect themselves against us, they could be a little gentler. It all comes to a head when we're being escorted down a hallway, and one of the guards starts being a little too rough with a survivor. I can't take it anymore. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryI've started drinking raw water, but only at work. The idea is to get sick from it, and force them to give me workman's compensation. My coworker says my plan will fail, since I'm not getting the water FROM my employer, but I'm still gonna try. Couldn't hurt, right?
Story Quote"I first heard about it a while back, when it was on the list for a discussion I was having with someone, and was intrigued by the idea. It’s the story of a family living in northern Alberta, and how that environment changes the lives of those involved." #botner #fishquotes
6
Mind of DaltonOnce the stranger is done clapping, he introduces himself as The Delegator, and expresses admiration for Dalton. The portal would have apparently sent the girl to a dangerous and deadly place. They expected Dalton to fight the fight for her, but this is even better. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI literally step out of line, and run up to push the guard away. I don't want to fight, but he takes it as a challenge, and pushes back. I hit the floor. I'm well-nourished, but have never been strong. I get up, but he takes hold, and swings me into a room. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm trying to get funding for a little TV show I like to call #BreakingBad. With any luck, it'll premiere in the summer of 2019.
Story Quote"Kivi finally handed Diamond Zek to Landis. 'Due to this uncertainty, I feel it is best we inform the crew, so that we may prepare for any eventuality. I do not want to use the weapons systems, but we may have no other choice.' She turned to walk away." #darningwars #fishquotes
7
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator explains that Dalton belongs to a class of time travelers known as salmon, who have no control over their lives, but are called to help people throughout the timeline in different ways. Dalton first had to fix his own life before he could save others. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall again, and feel the back of my skull slam against the cold cement floor. A pair of arms takes hold, and pulls me into a lap. My vision is growing dim, but I see the door close, and hear it lock electronically. "Hey, wait!" a voice cries. "Who is this?" #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI cut my bird shaving.
Story Quote"She could read him just as well as before, which was odd given that he was the one whose personality had changed, but he wasn’t going to question it. It was irrelevant. Communication only mattered when trying to accomplish something, which he wasn’t." #salmonverse #fishquotes
8
Mind of DaltonSo this is what he's going to do now. He'll just keep jumping to other people's minds for brief periods of time, and making different choices for them. None will last longer than several minutes, and none of the people will remember anything weird happened to them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for Three"I have no idea," the guard tells the person who's holding me. "The doors lock automatically, and there's no way to unlock them until quarantine is over. You two will just have to figure things out. Good luck with that." // I feel myself losing consciousness. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI've had something stuck in my teeth since the Triassic period. For anyone searching for a pun or clever twist in this "joke" there isn't one. It's just a dumb thing I said.
Story Quote"But I felt responsible for the woman, and so I went to her. She was sitting on the ground, her husband standing above her, screaming at her. The whole thing seemed so barbaric, but I tried to calm her down, and tell her that she would be all right." #botner #fishquotes
9
Mind of DaltonThe people he saves will move on with their lives from the moment he leaves their minds, fully believing that whatever choice he made for them was actually their idea all along. Meanwhile, he'll go somewhere else, into someone else, at some other point in spacetime. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI hear voices in the room with me, at least two of them, but things are growing hazy. The back of my head is wet, and painful. I don't pass out, but I'm not all there either. They drag me to the shower, then dry me off, and then pull me up to an unmade bed. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”You ever done #goatpoopyoga? Some people just call it #goatyoga, but there's too much goat poop for me to not call it goat poop yoga.
Story Quote"I know a lot of us will also watch the game, and although I am excited, I am also nervous. I have worked hard to get to this point in my life, and I know how proud my family will be of me. They will look at me and tell me that they are so proud of me." #botner #fishquotes
10
Mind of DaltonAt this point, it appears as though the Delegator expects Dalton to argue. Why should he have to do this? What's in it for him? But no. This isn't the life he chose, but it's the life he was given, and if it's his special way of helping people, then he's in. 100%. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe bed is uncomfortable without any sheets, but it's better than the tile shower, or the cement floor, so I can't complain. The voices talk to each other while I'm trying to recover. Apparently, the guards haven't distributed clothes yet, so we're all naked. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI never say "anonymous" anymore. I always pronounce it "anon-1-mous".
Story Quote"I want to say that it was a case of free will, but really...he had already touched my bladder, I was scared. I didn’t have the time to think about what I was going to do. I ran home as fast as I could and didn’t stop for a breath ’til I was in my bedroom." #botner #fishquotes
11
Mind of DaltonWith the explanation out of the way, the Delegator has decided to send him off to his next assignment. There will be no further interruptions. He'll complete a task, then jump to the next one, and have to figure it all out himself. Dalton can't help but be excited. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAfter a few hours, the swelling in my head has gone down, and I can sit up, and look around. Since I fell, there was always this possibility that this whole thing has been a hallucination or dream. Now I know I am in some kind of bunker with two other people. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm a patient care technician, and I really want to make sure I do a good job, so your feedback is VITAL to me.
Story Quote"I gave up Catholicism. This is one of those stories that I am glad that I have. I am glad that my heart was pure, and I found an answer to my question before it was too late. I am glad that I had enough common sense to take responsibility for my actions." #botner #fishquotes
12
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator charges Dalton to walk under one of the stone arches. It doesn't matter which one, because even though all of this is real, he no longer has his own body, so he's not physically present at Stonehenge anyway. He steps through, and starts his journey. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI stand up to stretch my legs. I decide there's no point being self-conscious about my body, because these two strangers have already seen everything, and I can now see them. One introduces himself as Irekenn, and the other Naledi. They are husband and wife. #QuarantineforThree
Good Frickin' PointHi, I'm a male cop, and this is my wife, a lady nurse.
Story Quote"I just don’t do well when someone hurts my pride. I know that I don’t deal with rejection well, because my ego is the biggest part of my sense of identity, and when someone uses it against me, I don’t handle it well. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before." #botner #fishquotes
13
Mind of DaltonHe finds himself standing on the edge of a building. He's not one to know measurements, but a couple dozen stories would be his guess. Below him, he can see the street, yes, but he can also see several portals. More portals? Really? Okay. A man is laughing at him. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI thank them for helping me recover, and then explain a little bit about where I've been. I tell them I was trapped in a house for a year, but I don't say anything about a monster, or the fact that the doors didn't open because of magic, not because of locks. #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationMe: "Don't get me wrong, I love my wife. It's just that her breasts are so large, I keep confusing them with mountains." // @Shakira: "See?! I told you!"
Story Quote"Early vessels needed time to accelerate, and just as much time to decelerate, but even the humans managed to conceive a workaround that allowed them to reach target velocities almost instantly without turning passengers into mush against the back wall." #darningwars #fishquotes
14
Mind of DaltonThe man calls himself as The Cleanser. Ooo, ominous, Dalton is so impressed, or whatever. The Cleanser is fully aware of that he's not the person he forced onto the ledge, but he's going to make him choose which portal to jump into anyway. He just wants to have fun. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI meant to say that the doors did indeed open because of magic. Okay, I may have a concussion. I sit back down just as a guard passes by our quarantine cell, and stuffs three plastic wrapped outfits through the door slot. They're actually quite comfortable. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I've never been able to find anything good on Craigslist. It's all just people asking me to be their serial killer partner. But, like, I work alone.
Story Quote"He had a real hard time being motivated, which was his whole thing now, but luckily, Imzadi was able to take control of the supersuit. He kept the helmet on the whole time, and sort of just stayed along for the ride. He even nodded off once or twice." #salmonverse #fishquotes
15
Mind of DaltonDalton thinks about arguing, but what would be the point of that? The Cleanser can make a dozen portals, and detect it as soon as someone has been possessed by another consciousness. All things being equal, he makes a random decision, then leaps off of the building. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAs we're getting dressed, Irekenn and Naledi get me up to speed about what's happened. A virus swept across the planet, killing over eighty percent of the population quickly. Survivors survived because they quarantined themselves, not because some are immune. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingReece is Monkey.
Story Quote"But when we lump all those groups into the same population, I don’t want to be part of it. It makes me want to question my own bias a little bit because how can I be anti-gun when I grew up with them? I have a friend who is a responsible gun owner." #botner #fishquotes
16
Mind of DaltonHe lands in a swamp, and immediately climbs up to the surface so he can start swimming towards land. It's unclear whether this was a bad choice, or a good one. Perhaps one would have taken him to a field with 72 virgins, or maybe all but this one led to volcanoes. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey call it the bringavirus, or the bringer virus, which immeditely makes me think of the monster that I let die in the sunlight. Could that…? No. No, that couldn't possibly have anything to do with it. Unless… Oh my God, I did this. I released the virus. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI like nuse photos.
Story Quote"The customer who works in the store, the customer who is savvy and research-savvy enough to see a difference on the box, or the one at the cash register? This is one reason I stopped purchasing “wet” applesauce and started buying the squeezy variety." #botner #fishquotes
17
Mind of DaltonHe doesn't stop moving when I reaches the swamp bank. Alligators can walk on land, and who knows what else is lurking in the woods, waiting to kill him? Keep moving, look for shelter, and hope that the Cleanser shows up at some point, and sends him back to safety. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeObviously I say nothing to them about my suspicions. I may have released the creature that eventually spread some kind of deadly virus that killed most of the population of the planet, but I couldn't have possibly known that would happen. I did what I had to. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingMe chillin' in the IMDB message boards in 2021, like, "where e'erbody at?" They're at Borders.
Story Quote"So I went and bought the garlic bread from the grocery store and purchased a can of chicken broth…cause soup needs the broth. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, and I am in the soup bliss. I am hoping this soup is more savory than bland." #botner #fishquotes
18
Mind of DaltonDalton walks for miles until he comes across a field of portals. The land between them is thin, like a balance beam. On the other side of a field is an upright portal that appears to show the inside of a house. The object is to get to that portal without falling. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI covertly change the subject, because I don't want to think about the fact that I singlehandedly destroyed civilization. I ask them more about themselves, and also tell them about my own life before the virus. They owned and ran an apartment complex together. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Cancel #BreakingBad, you cowards!
Story Quote"At this point, the standard human reaction would be to marvel at the skill of the plant’s operator, who has apparently decided to use its many complicated arms and legs to celebrate Japan’s 125th year of reign in the world’s foremost soccer league." #botner #fishquotes
19
Mind of DaltonHe figures the most sane option would be to turn back, and go around, or some other way, but that is not an option. He's now surrounded by portals on the ground, so he either risks jumping into one of the mysteries, or carefully makes his way to the obvious goal. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey seem like such a lovely couple at first, but then they start telling me anecdotes about some of their tenants. It becomes clear how racist they are. They act like they saved a bunch of black people from gang life by graciously giving them a place to live. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryWe call them gas guzzlers. In England, they call them petrol puzzlers.
Story Quote"The question is, if there are some who don't believe it, what do they believe? What a perfect way to answer that question: Saint Peter, shut the door. I told you so. I love the idea that God would get that upset with us for going around unregenerate people." #botner #fishquotes
20
Mind of DaltonDalton starts tiptoeing through the field, nearly falling in many times. There are larger spots of land since the portals are circular, and don't line up with each other like hexagons would, but they are of varying sizes, to make the trip harder, and less straight. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI try to remain polite as I listen, because we're going to be stuck in this room for weeks, but it's exhausting. I simultaneously can't make them think I'm also racist, because that will come back to bite me in the ass later, I'm sure of it, that's my luck. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingUsing heat vision to operate my smartphone.
Story Quote"It wasn’t the worst possible place to live, but it wasn’t civilized either. They built a latrine in the ground, and wiped themselves with leaves, and no matter how intricate they made their Crusoe dwelling, the toilet situation wouldn’t ever get better." #darningwars #fishquotes
21
Mind of DaltonFinally, he makes it all the way to the final portal. The image on the other side is clearer. It's a nice house in a nice neighborhood. The Cleanser is leaning against the edge, and slow-clapping, like The Delegator was, though this is not sincere, but sarcastic. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI am not so good at hiding my feelings. They detect the change in my demeanor. Otherwise unprompted, they start arguing with me, and making claims that they can't be racist, because of all of their black customers. That's so not the point, but what can I say? #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationIndeed: "Apply?" // Me: "Indeed, Indeed. Apply."
Story Quote"Intellectually, he knew that not being worried about anything could get him into trouble. After all, risks were still there, as they were a part of life. But it was a nice change of pace, knowing that everything would turn out okay, if that wasn’t true." #salmonverse #fishquotes
22
Mind of DaltonThe Cleanser is impressed that Dalton managed to get through the portal field, but bored with the whole thing. With barely a thought, he reaches over, and knocks Dalton into one of the portals he spent all that time trying to avoid, presumably because it's funny. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeNormally, I would remove myself from this situation before I did or said something I would regret, but there is nowhere to go. Well, almost nowhere. There's a bathroom, and a closet. They may need the former, so I just go into the latter, and shut the door. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingThe enemy of my enemy is my friend. Anyone who is a friend of my friend is a friend of mine. I have a lot of friends.
Story Quote"So if I suddenly came into $6 million, what would I do? I think it would be nice to take a year to see the world. I’d head out to the moon, or maybe off to Mars, or maybe just jump in a private jet and take a couple of sweet helicopter rides." #botner #fishquotes
23
Mind of DaltonThis is unlike the other portals. Those instantly took him right to where he was going, but with this one, he keeps falling. Colors and electricity swirl around him, and over his body. Or rather they move across the body he's possessing, and he is losing control. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI'm back in the closet now, ha-ha-ha. Though, I technically never came out of the closet. I just teleported out of it one day years ago, and didn't tell anyone about it. I half expect the couple to come apologize, but it's nothing but silence. Eerie silence. #QuarantineforThree
Nanostory"I said five camels! That's four camels! Now one of us isn't gonna get a camel. Sorry, Short Round; it looks like you're sitting this one out. Or, standing, as it were." #reciteamoviequotefrommemory
Story Quote"I think to myself for a moment and rush over to my room… I see that my body has disappeared. I sense something of course, but I had never suspected this… I race through the dark building into the grass field where everyone has been getting slaughtered." #botner #fishquotes
24
Mind of DaltonDalton can feel his consciousness being peeled away from the body he was borrowing, like tape that really doesn't want to come off. Once separated, they drift away from each other, the body to one exit portal, and Dalton's mind to another, where it finds a new home. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall asleep in that closet, and wake up to a ruckus outside the door. I'm too scared to open it at first, but then I hear a choking sound, and know that I have to. Irekenn is squeezing the life out of Naledi. I have no idea why, but I have to stop it anyway. #QuarantineforThree
Total LieI keep thinking I'm gonna have time to finish my chores, but then the girl in the back of my trunk kicks the taillight out again, and that takes up the rest of my day.
Story Quote"I still do that sometimes, but they let me now. I went with them when they went to visit my granny and the park she lives near. I wanted to go home with them but they wouldn’t let me, so I waited for them at the house. I got my mom’s last bite of chicken." #botner #fishquotes
25
Mind of DaltonDalton finds himself in a huge crowd of people. They're all smiling and laughing, so he doesn't feel like he's in any danger. Something bad might be coming, or none of this was planned, and he just ended up in this body randomly. It appears to be someone's wedding. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIrekenn, breathing heavy and drooling with rage, lets go of his wife's body before I can get to them. "It's done," he says. "Your turn." He's much larger than me, so I know I have no chance. As he's lunging for me, I grab the lamp, and bash it over his head. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI had an affair with my wife.
Story Quote"If so, I’d like to give a heartfelt thanks. A big red heart to go with it. It’s very warming. I’m amused. This post reminded me a lot of something that happened to my sisters and me when we were very young. We got a kitten when we were maybe two or three." #botner #fishquotes
26
Mind of DaltonDalton notices some people walking around wearing hooded robes, and avoiding eye contact. He can't help but ask the nearest person why. She tells him that—whoever they are—their presence could potentially disrupt the timeline, and that it's best no one sees them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIn the movies, a lamp will always shatter, and the person who was hit just stumbles a little. This thing is strong, though, and heavy. Irekenn trips, and knocks his head on the bedpost. Blood spills out of it like a tipped over cup. I'm horrified, and frozen. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”There are actually only four stages of grief: passive acknowledgement, eating, sleeping, and moving on with your life. This may only apply to sociopaths like me.
Story Quote"I've bought things that deter rodents, and I put small amounts of poison in the walls and floors. It's always the same: for three weeks, they are gone. Three weeks. Then they come back. The wads of mouse poop in the utility room? I've never seen that before." #botner #fishquotes
27
Mind of DaltonAs Dalton is wondering whose body he's possessing, and whether he too should be wearing a robe—or if anyone here will recognize him as an imposter, just like The Cleanser did—one of the robed people approaches him, and speaks in a whisper, asking him to step away. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe door opens, and a man in a mask and face shield—but no hazmat suit—steps in. "How many people are in this room?" he asks me. "Both dead, and alive?" // "Four," I answer him. // He shakes his head. "No. Irekenn's wife died two years ago. He murdered her." #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingIt looks like the cat's out of the bag. Let's test the idea that there's more than one way to skin it.
Story Quote"Lowell and I step back down, and jump to a different part of the body. The egress technician says nothing, but gestures for us to leave the room. It’s clear that we’re meant to follow the hallway lights, which lead us to a beautiful botanical garden." #darningwars #fishquotes
28
Mind of DaltonThe robed person escorts Dalton underneath the seats, and removes her hood, explaining that she's an alternate version of herself. He doesn't know who she is, or what she's talking about, and it seems to show, because she starts to grow suspicious of him. He's been made. Again.
Quarantine for Three"What are you talking about?" I question. "I'm looking at Naledi's body right now." // "The virus brings back dead people, but only as hallucinations. We think it has to do with guilt. Come. We need to figure out why you can see other people's hallucinations." #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Dorothy had straight friends too.
Story Quote"People were waiting in line for their turn at a booth, where someone was handing out hooded robes, but that wasn’t the weird part. They were already obscured, as if they were paintings, and someone had carelessly wiped their faces off with the charcoal." #salmonverse #fishquotes

March 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
McQuaela The SprinterMy name is McQuaela Causey, and this is the story of how God both made me a runner, and made it so that I hated running. I've never wanted a superpower, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted one that involved exercise, but these are the cards that I was dealt. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI'm in an underground bunker, which they built never thinking they would actually need it, but here we are. A virus has wiped out nearly all of humanity, and it was technically all my fault. I released the creature that carried the virus. And now only I can stop it. Seer of Death
“Joke”Here's a lie for ya. I'm gonna die one day.
Story Quote"What did we do, you ask? We shopped, we talked, we ate dinner, and we watched movies. We didn't actually get to do any of those things the whole time, but what we did do was talk for hours and hours on end. It was nice to reconnect after all these years." #botner #fishquotes
2
McQuaela The SprinterIt started in gym class. I was a freshman, so of course I had run before. I don't know what changed, but I figure it had something to do with puberty. I'm slowly rounding the track with all the other kids who don't care about it when a bully pissed me off. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAs some authority figure is escorting me, he explains why he pulled me from the isolation room. "The idiots who brought you in didn't immediately tell us that you lived in the house right where the virus originated. Had I known, I would have handled it differently." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”It will be so amazing when we finally cure #COVID19, and it will undo all the bad things that happened over the last year. All the people who died from it will come back to life, all the racist cops will go back to not being racist. It will be awesome, just you wait. #coronavirus
Story Quote"I mean, it’s genetic, right? He knows everything about me, because, right after we met, he dug deep into my past, and I was too afraid to tell him my full name, or where I went to high school or if I ever drank vodka in my bedroom as a teenager." #botner #fishquotes
3
McQuaela The SprinterHe said something gross about my breasts, which are notably large, and I guess not in a good way; not to him. He's an athlete, so after his quip, he was able to bolt off before I could retaliate. Well, just because I hate running doesn't mean I can't do it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't live in that house," I say. "I was trapped." I sigh, not wanting to tell the truth, but feeling compelled. "I found an evil creature living there, and had to trick him into going into the sunlight, or he would kill me. It worked, but then I took his place." Seer of Death
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "The terrorists are almost through the wall. Is there a back way out of here?" // Me: "Yeah, it's in the front."
Story Quote"In fact, there are four people who are sure to come. I have no clue as to who else was invited. At least, I didn’t think so until after I had left. Maybe those four won’t show up. Maybe they weren’t invited. Maybe they don’t know that there’s a party!" #botner #fishquotes
4
McQuaela The SprinterI leave the other slackers in the dust, and start overtaking the bully's lead. I shout for him to come back, which I shouldn't have, because it alerts him to the fact that I'm chasing after him. He's picking up speed. That's fine, though, I can do that too. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe man stops, and gives me a look. He doesn't say anything for a while. "Tell me everything. Tell me before we go in there…and I'll tell you what you should tell them. You won't be able to help us if they get distracted by the blame game." // So I expound my story. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. DO NOT TRY TO LOOK AT IT WITH YOUR BUTT.
Story Quote"He left to go talk to them and I got mad because I was supposed to tell them before they moved. I went to go talk to them and found that they had moved and I wasn't invited to the wedding. My fiancé was there though. He was not at the wedding. I was so mad." #botner #fishquotes
5
McQuaela The SprinterI'm making a huge scene, and I start to get the sense that everyone is watching us. The coach is matching my volume, trying to quell whatever is happening between us. It is not she who puts a stop to it, though. It's me. It's me, and whatever it is that I am. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Okay," the man says. "Let me do the talking. You'll just screw it up." He reaches for the last door, but stops. "I should probably tell you that my name is Rolio Canard." // I balk. I know that name. That is the name of a fictional character…MY fictional character. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I was a doctor in high school.
Story Quote"My mind is blank, and the thoughts that have been swirling around in there since I decided to leave, now seem to have no connections to each other or the outside world. I can’t think of what to do next, or how to move forward. I feel adrift, rudderless." #botner #fishquotes
6
McQuaela The SprinterI feel a sort of rippling heat overcome my body, from my toes, all the way up to my head. My vision blurs for half a second, and when my sight returns, everyone is gone. I'm still on the high school track, but no one else is here. It's also a little darker. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWhat you have to understand about me is that I'm not really a fiction writer. All of the stories I tell are real; they just mostly happened in other universes, and other planets. Rolio Canard should not be here. It's not impossible, but I never knew he came to Earth. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Banana? Mine doesn't look like a banana. Should it look like a banana?
Story Quote"Just then, we hear a rustling in the bushes. It could be some kind of alien rabbit, or a person, and if it’s a person, it could be an ally, or an enemy. They stop talking, but don’t approach. They just wait patiently. Finally, a figure appears. It’s me." #darningwars #fishquotes
7
McQuaela The SprinterI jiggle my head, hoping this illusion goes away, but of course, it doesn't. The twilight still hangs over the empty field. Well, it's not quite empty. A figure approaches from the shadows, slowly and calmly, but not menacingly. I don't think I should run. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThere's no one in the world named Rolio Canard, and I've not actually publicized the name, so unless he randomly hacked my cloud account, there's kind of no way this isn't the real Rolio. I have no more time to question it, though. We're in the room where it happens. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My body is a temple, which is why I like to go inside every once in awhile to angrily flip the tables over, and throw out all the merchants and money changers, like Jesus did that one time.
Story Quote"They grew quite used to ignoring temporal ethics while they weren't in control of their own actions, but now it was up to them to decide. Was it right to let the team adapt this advanced technology to their own world? What did the Prime Directive say?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
8
McQuaela The SprinterThe dying light hits an unfamiliar face, but I still don't think I should run, and not only because I don't know what will happen if I do. He introduces himself as The Gravedigger, but promises that it's not a serial killer moniker. He literally digs graves. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathA group of people are spread around a large table. They sit far from each other, wearing both masks and face shields. People in hazmat suits line the walls; presumably the assistants. They look at me with very serious faces. I don't feel like I should even breathe. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryLeer cheating is when you leer at someone outside of your relationship. It doesn't have to be a cheerleader, but it would be nice. Lear cheating is when you watch a play other than King Lear. Cher leading is when you show Cher where to go.
Story Quote"It sounds silly, but if you want to know how to do something or say something—as opposed to waiting for a deadline and learning a new vocabulary—at your school, I can talk you through how to get started. And because I know a lot of people, I can get started." #botner #fishquotes
9
McQuaela The SprinterThe Gravedigger—whose real name is Halifax—apologizes for the way I discovered my time travel ability, saying that most do it in private on instinct. I didn't know that I traveled through time, but I was really starting to suspect, due to all the evidence. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Open the blast doors," Rolio commands. One of the hazmat suiters presses a button on the wall, which reveals a window to another room. Two young boys are sitting at a wee table. "What can you tell me about the people in this room?" he asks me. "How many are there?" #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI need ten CCs of knowing what CCs are!
Story Quote"The violent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado has become the final straw in a series of extremely divisive and emotionally charged social debates, from gun control to the treatment of those with mental illnesses. Let me be very clear, and as informed as possible." #botner #fishquotes
10
McQuaela The SprinterWe continue talking. He explains what I am. I was born with this ability, but no one really knows how it happens. It seems to be genetic in a general sense, but not a hereditary trait that I got from my parents. They probably have no idea that I'm like this. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI start describing the boys. One has lighter hair, and the other keep scratching at the back of his neck. Obviously only one of them is real, and no one else here can see the other. One of the men at the table opens a folder, revealing a picture of the hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”You can't die in a racecar. It's physically impossible.
Story Quote"There’s a plate holder. It’s hard to make out the rest because the back part's missing. I’m very disappointed to find out that it’s not just some kind of joke. I’m so excited! Did someone send me a gift? Can I open it now? Can I say thank you? Can I wear it?" #botner #fishquotes
11
McQuaela The SprinterI ask Halifax how far back in time I went, and he says that I actually went forward over ten years. I've been missing for ten years!? He says that might not be true. I may be destined to return to my time at some point, but that's up to me. I get to choose. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe one scratching at his back isn't real. The other one is just imagining him. "Do they all end in death?" I ask. "Does everyone kill their own hallucinations?" // "Not that we've found," a man in a military uniform answers. "They do seem to argue a lot, though." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I need the money to found a special school in New York where students can learn how to act like animals. I can teach them dog tricks, and bird calls, and cat skills.
Story Quote"It’s possible that this is an isolated incident. But some security experts are skeptical. 'The notion that it’s really easy for hackers to break into my account if I type in this correct password…is dubious,' says Randy Abrams, security specialist." #botner #fishquotes
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McQuaela The SprinterI think about the prospect for a moment. If I really am a traveler, then there should be no big rush to return to my old life. What if it happens again? How does it work? How can I control it? How far can I jump? Or run, as it were. I need to practice first. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI must say, all these people are taking it well that I appear to have some ability to see other people's hallucinations. I have a character who can do this. His name is Verner Holt, and you'll notice that that's not my name. I don't understand what's happening to me. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryMy wife is on Bumble and I'm on Tinder. We somehow got matched to each other in this glitchy modern version on The Piñacolada Song.
Story Quote"There are no instruments, and no radio. I’m just hoping for the best. There is nothing more terrifying than taking over an airplane by yourself. I could attempt to write something to make you feel better about it, but I’m sure I would fail miserably." #botner #fishquotes
13
McQuaela The SprinterI ask him for help figuring all this out when he tries to leave. He apologizes, but it's not his position to help someone like me. For a second, I think he's being racist, but then it passes, because I'm pretty sure it's just some kind of time travel rule. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Bring in the next subject," another military man demands." A hazmat suiter shuffles the boy away. The other doesn't follow, but once the boy exits the room, he can't exist in there anymore, so he disappears in a puff of smoke. It's more than just a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Me when I'm trying to figure out how to upload a GIF to twitter:
Story Quote"I turn my attention to Pryce. He regards me politely, but like he has a magic bullet in his arsenal, and he knows his argument wins, regardless of what I say. He’s just waiting for his moment to drop the mic and ruin my whole day. I have to preempt him." #darningwars #fishquotes
14
McQuaela The SprinterAll he tells me is that the faster I run, the further through time I can go. There's obviously a limit to it, and I'm immediately aware that I can't go back to dinosaur times, because I only jumped ten years the first time, and was already going pretty fast. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThey start sending test subjects into the other room one by one so I can continue to prove my abilities. By the time it's over, I realize that they'll want to study me next; with scans, needles, and maybe even knives. Well…I guess they oughta do what they gotta do. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingHow do I train my eyes to focus exclusively on the subatomic particles that are floating in front of my face?
Story Quote"The bliss wore off over time, or at least lessened in intensity, but his sense of completeness remained. The constant carefree attitude would have gotten on people’s nerves, so this was a good balance. Now, all of it was—hopefully only temporarily—gone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
15
McQuaela The SprinterI'm about to start running, to figure out exactly what triggers it, when I realize I'm not in a safe place. Just because people already saw me disappear ten years ago, doesn't mean I should keep revealing my secret. I have to find a remote spot to practice. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathNext, they bring in a group of subjects, and expect me to determine which ones are real, and which are hallucinations. I've gotten much better at seeing the signs since Naledi in the isolation room, so I start pointing out the real people, I'm right on all counts.# SeerofDeath
Fake ConversationI was trying to eat my muffin when my dog, Daisy stood up from her bed, and said, "I want the chocolate!" So I yelled back, "you can't handle the chocolate!" Just kidding. I gave it to her.
Story Quote"I just hope it's a short term thing. And, that it doesn't affect my job, because I really like my job. Yesterday I went for my 28 week check up. I had asked about my nausea since I noticed that it seemed to be lessening, as well as my food aversions." #botner #fishquotes
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McQuaela The SprinterOf course, I don't have access to a car, but the high school is kind of on the edge of the city, so I shouldn't have to walk too far to get away from civilization. I take the opportunity to reflect on the life I missed, and wonder what became of my family. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathUntil now, it was unclear who was in charge. I didn't think Rolio, and everyone seemed pretty equal here. The truth becomes apparent when a woman in a pantsuit stands up. "I've seen enough. I think we all realize what must happen next." Yes, the needles and knives. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Am I tired of you asking questions, and then immediately answering them yourself? Yes.
Story Quote"I know how hard it is for a TOTALLY BOY to kiss a GIRL. (That’s how I refer to myself to my own friends). I can get just about ANYTHING ELSE done, much to Celeste’s chagrin, but kissing is the one thing that I just can’t manage. So I back off a little." #botner #fishquotes
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McQuaela The SprinterI am so lost in my own head—worrying about fate and destiny, and if I'll ever end up going back home, or not—that I barely notice in time that I'm about to trip over something. No, it's a someONE. The only question now is whether he's just sleeping…or dead. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathRolio regards me uncomfortably. "It's okay." I say, before turning to address the group. "If you can find a way to experiment on me without killing me, though, that would be lovely." // "I make no guarantees," the leader says with the cold detachment that she needs to survive.
Fake ConversationMe: "Alexa, what's on my schedule today?" // @Alexa99: "Nothing is on your schedule. You are a loser."
Story Quote"'Boring,' the soldier says. 'She’s a slut. Why do you think you had to go so far as to run away?' He turns my head so he can see my eyes. 'Shut up, kid. You really have no sense of shame at all, do you? I don’t like these questions either, you know that.'" #botner #fishquotes
18
McQuaela The SprinterBefore I can check him for a pulse, he gets up, drunk and stumbling around. Trying to keep his eyes on me just makes it harder for him to regain balance. His reluctance to set down his bottle makes it even harder. Finally, he's upright, and he recognizes me. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWith no further instruction, the hazmat assistants carefully escort me down the passageways. They get me cleaned up, and let me rest for the night. A doctor comes in to tell me that the experiments will begin tomorrow. But there's no tomorrow when you're underground. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI spent seven months in Antarctica, studying the effects extreme cold weather has on dead bodies. I wasn't meant to be studying that, but my team was really pissing me off, so I altered the plans.
Story Quote"She laughs. 'You will help me. You have to.' // At the beginning, I was confused by the entire experience. I felt both privileged and like a fraud to be part of it. Then I remembered my PhD and the structure of the experiment that I had been part of." #botner #fishquotes
19
McQuaela The SprinterHe cries my name, and starts ranting about how his life was ruined, but that he doesn't blame me. He knows someone took me, and it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't HIS fault, and he's just glad that I'm back. Yep. These are the consequences of my disappearance. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAn alarm wakes me up in the middle of a cycle. I'm groggy and confused, and can't stand up straight. I'm grasping at the walls, looking for the lightswitch, when the door opens. I was on the wrong wall. Rolio and a man come into the room. "There's been an outbreak." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingSounds like a lot of fun, I don't wanna do any of that.
Story Quote"I wanted to be me. I got a job in entertainment instead. The job: I work for myself as a freelance illustrator and designer. I do graphic design work, print advertising for corporate clients, and offer art consulting for print and web-based businesses." #botner #fishquotes
20
McQuaela The SprinterI realize that this is the jerk who insulted me on the track. Well, I shouldn't call him a jerk. For me, only moments have passed, but it was ten years ago for him. I shouldn't judge him without knowing him. That's what he did to me, and I'm better than that. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"When this many hallucinations get together, things get bad," the other man explains. "The agitation we cause real people compounds, and makes everything so much worse. Fights break out, people get hurt." How odd, this hallucination calling himself a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My house is zombie proof. I keep a lot of zombies there, so it's proof that they exist.
Story Quote"What he said before was right. Rules are necessary, even when they seem cruel or wrong. I don’t think I misjudged his character, but I’m already starting to see the reasoning behind some of his decisions. The crown is on my head now…and it’s heavy. " #darningwars #fishquotes
21
McQuaela The SprinterI tell him it's okay, that he didn't have anything to do with my disappearance. I ran off on my own to start a new life, and I hold no grudges. Again, the incident just happened to me, but I'm going to have to most past it, because he would never understand. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's not safe here anymore," Rolio adds. "As I'm not an Earthan human, the virus affects me differently. I maintain a little more control over my faculties. As you can see, the husband I left in a lost future is still here, but we're both aware of what's happening." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI always leave the toothpick where it is in my sandwich. It keeps it held together nicely, and it tastes good. You would think the mint toothpicks would make it better, but no, not in a sandwich.
Story Quote"It bounced against walls and tables and chairs, eventually ending up kind of heading back towards her, but not really. She reached out and caught it with ease, and without even ever looking at it, like a real life superhero. It was honestly pretty hot." #salmonverse #fishquotes
22
McQuaela The SprinterHe finally lets go of his bottle, and rubs his eyes so he can get a better look at me. He grabs a canteen, and splashes water in his face to get an even better look. He points out that I haven't aged a day, but he's still drunk, so he can't trust his eyes. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's nice to meet you, just the same," I say to the husband. // "Likewise, now let's go." We leave to navigate the field of angry infected, caught up in their own delusions. A real boy notices Rolio, and decides to attack him directly. His husband fights back. How? #SeerofDeath
NanostorySometimes I think I can feel the electricity surging through my body every time the cops shoot me with their tasers because I keep killing terrorists without authorization. But then I'm like, "nah, that's not possible". You can't feel electricity.
Story Quote"I’d be okay with the fact that I don’t remember the woman’s face, but I do remember her voice. She used to sound kind of annoying…but now she sounds like an angel. I’ll call you tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow, Ms. Bailey. Goodbye. RIP Ms. Bailey." #botner #fishquotes
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McQuaela The SprinterHe doesn't believe me, and claims he's not as drunk as I think. He's apparently mostly just sleepy, but now he's waking up. He insists that I haven't aged, and sixteen to twenty-six is too big of a gap for me to try to make up some BS about good skin cream. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathHow is it possible that this hallucination is making physical contact with a real person—one who's not even capable of seeing him in the first place? They both seem as confused as I am, but there is no time to discuss. The mob is growing angrier, and more violent. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhenever my husband comes home from the late shift, I don't want to make him think I don't want to talk to him, but I'm usually really tired, so I pretend to be awake.
Story Quote"I was basically incapacitated. I was barely able to stand or walk. But every time I went to the store, or a restaurant, I told people I was a military veteran. That was all I could remember—how to tell people I was in the military and that I had been hurt." #botner #fishquotes
24
McQuaela The SprinterHe's relentless, thinking I must be an alien, or a vampire, but he assures me he's fine with it. He just wants to know the truth, he thinks he's owed that much. I have to get out of here. I'm sick of hearing his conspiracies, even if they aren't unwarranted. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe infected come upon us like a swam. They're attracted to us now, for they know we're different. The people know I can see their hallucinations, and the hallucinations know it too. There's no way out. No door, no air vent. All I can do is scream, "everybody stop!" #SeerofDeath
Savage CriticismI'm the one who bought @jack's first tweet as an NFT for $2.9 mil. because I'm a loser. I'm joking about being the one who bought it, but not about the buyer being a loser. You could use your money to help end starvation and homelessness, but no…you chose to spend it on NOTHING.
Story Quote"There’s a web of tiny clear water drops suspended in the air in the kitchen // There are tiny strands of electric current floating in the air // Between my hands and the lights // It’s raining inside my house, and I can’t turn it off." #botner #fishquotes #fishpoetry #poetry
25
McQuaela The SprinterWith no warning, I just take off. Surely he won't chase me, and even if he does, he won't be able to keep up, because he's still drunk, no matter what he says. I'm wrong. I can feel him nipping at my heels. Whatever, I can go where he can't follow: the past. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathTo my surprise, everybody stops. The hallucinations, the real people. They all stare at me, like soldiers waiting for orders. Even Rolio and his husband appear to bend to my words. I'm more powerful than anyone could have guessed. I can stop this. I can cure them. #SeerofDeath
Good JokeThe Five Worst Websites Called @screenrant (and Five Tired and Formulaic Websites That Are Also Called Screen Rant)
Story Quote"A kid shivering in the woods, not knowing what happened to him, unable to tell me anything about it? I wondered if his mother had made him write that story. That was the only reason a six-year-old boy would lie to his mom. He wasn’t telling the truth." #botner #fishquotes
26
McQuaela The SprinterJust like before, a rippling heat overwhelms my body, clouds my vision, and sends me through the timestream. I slow down to catch my breath. He catches up to me, and does the same. Wait, what? The sun's out, it should be the past. How could he have followed? #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Back up," I order. Everyone backs away from me. I guess I could imagine being able to control hallucinations, but the fact that the regular people are just as susceptible to my demands is bizarre, and truthfully unsettling. I must take care not to abuse this power. #SeerofDeath
Spec ScriptEXT. POOP PLANET - TOMORROW // Major Spaceswords is here. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: Yeah, poop. // Darth Lollipop walks over from the moon. // DARTH LOLLIPOP: I'm here to kill your sword. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: But first…we juggle. // CUT TO BLACK. SUPER: THREE SECONDS EARLIER.
Story Quote"I’m seeing power in objects around me that wasn’t there before, and my curse is helping it happen. It’s getting harder to hide. I’m only hiding myself because it’s safer than talking to my neighbors, who think I’m a dangerous psychopath. Even though I’m not." #botner #fishquotes
27
McQuaela The SprinterThe drunk bully says he saw the fire emanating from me as I was running, and that he was close enough for it to consume him too, but he felt like he was dying, so I'm worried if we try again, something will go wrong. I can't have his death on my conscience. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Everyone go back to your rooms," I continue. "Stay there, and relax. Drink when you're thirsty, eat when you're hungry, use the toilet when necessary, and wash your hands regularly. Do not commit violence, wait for instructions, and most importantly, don't panic." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Ugh, that was my gynecologist. It turns out that I'm eight months pregnant. Give me another drink.
Story Quote"Pryce left many things that I will need to learn, but they’re not organized, because he never planned on stepping down. 'I’m afraid—and I hope not to lose your confidence for it, but—I don’t know what that is.' // 'We don’t either,' the woman explains." #darningwars #fishquotes
28
McQuaela The SprinterFortunately, we are still alone, even though it's the middle of the day. We decide to get more information about when we are. I ran about as fast as last time, but I don't know how sensitive the time difference is, or what. We search for a newspaper kiosk. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Rolio, and…" Damn, I never caught his name. "…Rolio's husband, stay back, so we can talk." They follow me to an empty storage room. "First of all, what is your name?" // "Finn Hasenkamp," he answers, in a monotone that makes it clear he is still under my spell. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI owe a lot of money to a lot of giant anteater monsters. What are they gonna do with all that platinum, you think?
Story Quote"When he first started jumping forwards in time, Mateo realized he would have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. This truth has held despite the fact that half his friends are time travelers, and the other half are immortal. Everyone leaves eventually." #salmonverse #fishquotes
29
McQuaela The SprinterBefore we find a newspaper, we come across a bank with one of those electronic signs by the sidewalk. It's showing us the temperature, but then it changes. March 29, 2021. We jumped another eleven years. For those keeping track, that's twenty-one years total. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Uhhhhh…at ease, soldiers." // It's not a real magical password, but it's enough to get my sentiment across. Rolio and Finn break free from my control, and return to themselves. "That was…" // "Painful?" I suggest, assuming the worst. // "Euphoric," Rolio corrects. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryThese are my mothers from another brother. If you think that sounds funny, you're not woke enough.
Story Quote"All those children that died are haunting me…some are still alive but more haunting than others. I am screaming again, running around and kicking and screaming like a wild animal. But no matter what I do, I am only making myself even more nervous." #botner #fishquotes
30
McQuaela The SprinterI apologize for getting him into this, and promise that I'll figure out how to get us home. I just need to understand why it is I always jump forward, even when I'm trying to go to the past. It would be foolish to try again without knowing how to control it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"How do I control myself?" I ask. "Being able to manipulate infected people isn't what's going to save their lives. Sure, I can stop them from killing each other—as long as it doesn't wear off at some point—but that doesn't actually solve our problem. It is no cure." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingEric Bal IV.
Story Quote"And I can see that in the corner of the room I’ve been sleeping on for the last two days. 'What the hell do you think you’re doing, you dirty rat?' // I open my eyes and recognize the voice coming from my left. I look to the floor, then quickly look up." #botner #fishquotes
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McQuaela The SprinterHe takes a look at the world around us, and smiles. He tells me his slate's been wiped clean, and that we have both been long declared dead by now. Perhaps this is the best place for both of us, where we can start fresh. I'm not so sure he's wrong. Not yet. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't get a chance to tell you," Rolio begins. "You can't pass the virus on to other people. You're not a carrier, so you can move about freely. That presents an opportunity." // "An opportunity to do what?" I ask. // "To stop all of this before it even happens." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhen I was in driver's ed, I learned the 'ant technique'. Basically, it means that I drive down the center going however fast I want, while oncoming traffic drives on either side of me. If you knew anything about ants, you wouldn't be like, "why is it called the 'ant technique'?"
Story Quote"Would I take up that trade for the rest of my life? No…don’t want that life. The world needs more good guys like me, like everyone, not more killers. I will never end my life…if the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I will be a happy man." #botner #fishquotes

April 2021
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Death of DaltonFor the last however long—by other people's control—I've been jumping through time, inhabiting OTHER people's bodies, and helping each of them get through an obstacle that is just a little bit too hard. But now it's all about to end. This is the story of my death. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI've been through a lot. I escaped from a magical castle, was immediately sent to a quarantine bunker for a virus I accidentally released, suffered the effects of infected people's hallucinations, and discovered that I may be the only one who can stop it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”You know what the difference between sardines and anchovies is? Well, for one, they're different animals. What more do you need, a taxanomical analysis? Why did you ask me this question?
Story Quote"I wish I could get away with having her sneak into my room to sleep on my bed with me, but the neighbors think my mom is the meanest mom in the world, so she’s locked in the living room with the remote control and her knitting needles to prove that point." #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonOf course, I didn't know I was going to die until it was too late. Let's go back to the moment that I only now realize was the turning point. The powers that be usually decide whose body I'll possess, but sometimes they give me a choice. This is one of those times. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRecently, I've met a character from my stories whose presence on Earth isn't something I knew, or makes any sense. He also happens to be a time traveler, and it seems he thinks he can prevent most of the horror by jumping back in time. But it won't be easy. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI'm a phagovore. I only eat eaters, so plants are the only living things that are safe from me.
Story Quote"I hate being alone. I hate swimming back up to the surface. I lie here in the water, thinking. I’m still alone. I can’t escape. I have to swim back, but I’m not brave. Maybe swimming around for hours is the stupidest thing ever, but I have no choice." #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonThe PTB have different ways of presenting me with my choices. It may look like Stonehenge, or just portals in the middle of a field. This time, it's a literal crossroads. I can turn left or right. I could theoretically turn back, but I don't sincerely consider it. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningHe seems to believe it's okay since I'm not a carrier of the virus, but I don't know how he knows that. "How do you know that?" I question. // "You don't remember them taking blood when you first arrived?" Uhhh…no." That never happened. // "Well, they did." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I am not a hypocrite! I said I only liked nice people! I never said that I liked myself, you frickin' idiot!
Story Quote"He points to the exit. 'That door will not open without a whitecard for every passenger…or the gearkey.' // 'Oh, the gearkey?' I say. 'Well, I have that.' I reach into my bag, and present him with the physical version of the gear that Pryce left me." #darningwars #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonForward is different. I see a looming darkness, almost pulsating in the distance. Every fiber of my being is telling me I should go right or left, and never go towards the darkness. So obviously, I do. My fear doesn't control me, but my curiosity does. Always has. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI'm having a hard time believing him, but I desperately want to get out of here, and if I really can stop this virus from even taking hold of our world, then it's my responsibility to try everything I can. More to the point, it would be irresponsible not to. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Alarms are male sirens.
Story Quote"Her brain blending ability worked by allowing her to transfer memories from a potential reality to the real one—or theoretically from some other point in space time to the present—which meant that the memories had to have reasonable realistic potential." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonI don't have to reach this darkness. As soon as I step foot between the corners of the intersection, I have declared my intentions to go this direction. Everything around me starts to fade away, and is replaced with blobs of water, which threaten to overtake me. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Okay," I say, "let's go." // "I can't go," Rolio tells me. "I'm positive. I would just infect everyone in the past." // "Can I even go without you? Your version of time travel isn't exactly conventional. I've never even heard of you doing it with others." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI remember first learning about gay people when I was young. I was horrified. It's positively disgusting, what those people do. Ya know what, I'm confused. I'm actually thinking of when I learned how Republicans systematically dismiss and mistreat this nation's disenfranchised.
Story Quote"That monster, he even showed himself on stage before they stabbed him. We saw evil things dragging him by the back of his neck. Then he cried out, he was crying for his mother, and then darkness. The only darkness we will see, because evil lives on." #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonThese water blobs expand as they shoot across the sky. One of them nearly hits me in the face. I realize that time is moving at a wonky pace, slowing down and speeding up, possibly randomly. The water isn't in blobs, that's just how it looks from this perspective. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"If I'm in an enclosed space—which shouldn't be too hard to find down here—I can redirect the temporal energy somewhere else," Rolio explains. "I can redirect it to you." What he doesn't say is how much it hurts. He doesn't need to anyway, I already know. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Okay, we should be good. At this point, we've had over a year to practice social distancing. You would think we would have it down by now, and can stop practicing, but they just keep saying we should. I've been a professional social distancer for years, what's taking you so long?
Story Quote"My eyes fly open wide. 'You look wonderful,' he tells me, smiling. 'You know, you’re probably in the best shape of your life.' I grab the envelope. 'It's a one-time offer,' he tells me. 'Sign it.' // I nod silently and take a deep breath. 'So…'" #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonOnce the blobs have successfully overwhelmed the area, so that they are all I see, they burst, and mix with each other, and then they fall upon me. The water is freezing, yes, but it's the pressure that really gets me. I'm suddenly too deep in the ocean too fast. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe don't say anything for a moment. "Are you okay to do this?" // "I can do it," I reply. "Let's go find a nook, or something." I feel bad leaving him in this future, but I know that's not how it works. This reality will collapse, and I'll create a new one. #ResetButtonBeginning
Tasteless JokeI need to tell you something. The day we found out your husband watched #AMillionLittleThings, I tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings. I got the call, and I just…spit the episode out into the sink. I've never tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings again, though, I promise.
Story Quote"I tell them I have no intention of feeling differently. I am moving around the crowd, feeling each one of their burdens. Many of them are traumatized, tortured by memories of events from their lives—of others they've hurt, of tragedies they've experienced." #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonWhile I'm drowning, my eyes adjust to the low light, and I realize I'm not just in water. I'm inside of something, maybe a wrecked ship. As I'm trying to locate which way is up, an arm appears before me, and sticks something in my mouth. I instinctively breathe in. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRolio already knows where the closest maintenance closet is. There's just enough room for him to gather his temporal energy, and evidently shoot me with it. We step in, and I watch him for the next few hours while he meditates and communes with the universe. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI gave away all of my worldly possessions, so I can move out to the woods. I want to live off the grid, and live off the land. Wait…OFF the land? Because I said off the gr—let's see, we can figure this out. I just need to look something up on my phone. Aw, shite.
Story Quote"My failure shows that the sort of interface to natural language processing researchers were designing has a long way to go. Fortunately, it’s something we’re only slowly developing. No matter. I have a few more strings to write." #botner #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonThe scuba diver tucks me under his chest while I'm breathing through his extra tubey thing, and swims with his legs only. He takes us deeper into the ship, all the way into an old timey bathroom, where he starts to remove his clothing. I just float there patiently. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs time is nearing the end, I start to notice that his skin has turned redder, and is growing redder still. Sweat drips off him like a mesh bag of water. Steam rises from his body, and clouds the room, until all I can see is the torrid glow of a man on fire. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingI can see photons from a distance.
Story Quote"This third parent did not raise me, and does not concern itself with human affairs, and it is unclear what their intentions are in regards to us, if they’re even driven by anything beyond their instincts. They may not quite realize what they’re doing." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonOnce the diver is totally naked, he looks around like he can't find his keys. He spies a metal cup behind me, and gestures for me to get it for him. I do, still confused about what's going on. As soon as he touches it, the water disappears. The bathroom looks new. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI knew that this was how he time traveled, but I didn't know how deafening the process was. I don't mean there's such a loud sound that it hurts my ears, I mean it actually makes me deaf. I doubt it's permanent, but it is not impossible. It's almost over. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanonanostoryExperts believe that Jesus couldn't read. Time travelers know it.
Story Quote"I am as relaxed as Hogarth wanted me to be, and have relinquished all hostility I felt coming into the mission to remove Pryce from power. I do not forgive him for anything that he’s done, but it no longer consumes me. Who can be mad under a purple sky?" #darningwars #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonI pant and struggle to catch my breath. Even though I was technically breathing through the scuba thing, it's not something I'm used to, and I'm glad to be back to regular air. The man smiles as he's opening his dry bag. "Hi, I'm Darko Matic, and you're in 1949." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe energy reaches critical mass, and then I see Rolio concentrate it into a ball in front of him like one might expect from a firebender. "Are you ready?!" he shouts. "It's gonna hurt like hell!" // "Just do it!" I scream. // He reaches back, and shoots. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Bones are just teeth that live inside your body.
Story Quote"They looked at him with a certain assumption. The obvious response was to let her do it, but it wasn’t necessarily the wisest choice. He wanted to survive, and to exist, and to be remembered, but there was a chance the sentiment was only a gut reaction." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonBefore I can respond, I catch my reflection in the mirror. I stare into it, and paw at my own cheeks. I never expected to see this face again. It's mine. I'm back in my body, or at least some version of it. It's been years since the last time, what does this mean? #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe temporal energy expands as it flies through the air, and sets me on fire. I can feel my skin burn and flake off. Ashy pieces float upwards, and disappear into the aether. I'm going back in time, little by little, and I'm watching myself die as I do it. #ResetButtonBeginning
LieLittle known factoid, I was a judge on #AmericanIdol in 2017.
Story Quote"The kayak didn’t turn into a human, but to understand the way this world works, that was absolutely not outside the realm of possibility. That’s why base modifications are so dangerous, because the rules and limitations are unclear, if any exist at all." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonWhile I'm in awe of having my own face back, I feel something cold press against my shoulder, and then a stinging pain. "Sorry about that," Darko says as he's injecting himself. "We just depressurized too fast. This will dissolve the nitrogen for us." // "Thanks." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Goodbye," Rolio whispers as my eyeballs dissolve. In an instant, I open them back up to find myself on the ground. The pain from the burning temporal energy isn't gone, but it's manageable. I sit up in search of a familiar point of reference from my past. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I've always thought it was really great how there are no bad people in the world.
Story Quote"They needed the best ship in the world. And they needed it to potentially endure a tidal wave or tsunami. Their next interim deadline was in seven years, which was important, because the hope was to support a certain percentage of a growing population." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of Dalton"Thanks," I say. "How did you know that I would be in the water?" // "I was gonna ask you the same thing," Darko says. "I thought you might be a tracker with really bad aim. But if you're salmon, I guess the powers that be wanted us to meet, for whatever reason." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningMy acute stress response is in overdrive. My brain doesn't know if there is any danger around, so it just assumes there is. I hear the crack of a stick nearby, and someone approaches. My heart races even faster, but then quiets when I see it's just Past!Me. #ResetButtonBeginning
Fake ConversationMe: "Okay, I shouldn't have called it a he. I don't know the sex of the sea otter. I don't even know how to sex sea otters, or how to sex any animal, for that matter. Well…other than humans." // My parole officer: "Could you please stop saying that word?" // Me: "What? Humans?"
Story Quote"Things took a turn for the worse near the beginning of the 21st century, when a dark organization rose from the shadows, and decided it was time they took over the United States. Their power was fleeting, but their impact was everlasting, and profound." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of Dalton"Well, anyway, thanks for saving my life. Sorry to take you away from your scuba diving." // "Nah, man," Darko says in a relaxed tone as he's starting to get dressed. "This is where I wanted to be. I came down here to get to this ship when it was still floating." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningPast!Me hands me a light jacket. "Wrap this around your waist." // "Appreciate it," I tell him. I wipe off a little ash, then cover up. // He waits patiently, then says—as per protocol—"report". // "It was 2021. Old reality collapsed. Co-existence possible." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryWhy do so many car insurance company commercials involve clients meeting with their agents in person? I've had the same agent for eleven years, and I've never met the man. His assistant sends me an automated birthday message every few months. That's it.
Story Quote"There is a reason that humans are a trinity of mind, body, and soul. All three are required to make a person. A mind alone is a computer, a body alone is a pile of viscera, and a soul alone is a ghost. None of them is meant to be without the other two." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of Dalton"Oh, is there something here that's really important? Some kind of valuable object that was destroyed when the ship sank?" // Darko laughs and straightens his tuxedo jacket. "I just wanna have a good time, and to work needlessly hard to get here. Thus, the scuba." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"How did you get here?" Past!Me questions. // "Irrelevant," I reply plainly. He's obligated to leave it at that. He doesn't need to know that Rolio Canard is real, and might be on Earth right now. I'm here to stop the future, not give anything away about it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Did you hear that noise? It sounded like an albatross. And my neck suddenly got really heavy. Did someone let an albatross in here? Who let the burden?
Story Quote"The first rule of probable reality is that any world that can be conceived—and whose consistent physical laws don’t countermine the laws that are true of every universe—can exist. Furthermore, if such a qualifying world IS conceived, then it WILL exist." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonA time traveling adrenaline junkie. I nod like I get it, but we have very different personalities. // With a sinister smile, he lifts a second tuxedo from his bag. "I don't know how long you've been a traveler, but you'll learn redundancy. You can wear the backup." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Come on," Past!Me says with a wave of his hand. "Let's go home, so we can figure how we're going to move on from here." // "You have two extra beds in this house, or just the one?" // Three beds, no job," he answers. "It's 2017." // "That will change soon." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Hey, mom! Today, we learned the four species of penguin! There's emperor, gentoo, barada, nikto.
Story Quote"He is wrong. The simulation has not been without a leader for the last sixty years. It found a leader in someone. The most likely suspect is Avatar!Pryce, but there are billions of other possibilities…hundreds of billions, if you count the Glisnians." #darningwars #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonI shrug and change into the tuxedo. Though I am a traveler, I've only been to the pretty recent past. I generally stick to a couple decades on either side of the turn of the 21st century, and never made it anywhere near 1949. I wonder what people are really like. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningBefore my dog, I would take long walks to get healthy. Of course, I kept walking once she came into my life, but we stayed closer to home. I lost her when I became trapped in the castle, and the world ended. Now that future will never exist. SHE won't exist. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingLet's nearly all agree to start calling liars who are lying with lies, tigers who are tying with ties…just to screw with the one person we don't tell about it.
Story Quote"It was the Superintendent's doing. Her mourning period should have lasted weeks, if not longer, but that would have been a boring story to watch from the outside, so I used my creative license as a weapon, and simply skipped that part of the narrative." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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Death of DaltonOne thing I didn't realize about my time traveling pattern is that, while it has no set time limit, all of my missions are brief. I never have extended periods of time to explore the timeline, and this characteristic holds, even though I have my original face back. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs he said, this is 2017, and a future version of me wasn't here back then, which means this is necessarily a new timeline. He's on an urban hike right now, because he doesn't have Daisy yet, and now he never will, because I stopped it. I went back too far. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingMoose laurels.
Story Quote"Upon learning more about their own genetic evolution, the humans of this Earth ended up uniting to form a singular society much earlier than other Earths. They recognized that diversity was a good thing, and a source of strength, rather than a weakness." #bulkstories #fishquotes
20
Death of DaltonI'm excited to enjoy myself, but alas, I do not meet the opportunity. As Darko and I step through the hatchway, we find ourselves on top of what appears to be a step pyramid. Before us is The Cleanser. Out of the three of us, he is the only one happy to be here. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe walk to his house quietly, but he can tell that I'm holding back a secret. "You don't have to tell me if it will negatively impact the timeline, but if it won't, I wanna know. Even if it's bad, it's always better to know." // "I ruined something for you." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryMy Parents Are In an Open Marriage and This is What it Feels Like to be Their Son. Chapter One. It's probably no different for me than it is for you. Do YOUR parents discuss with you all the sex they're having with just each other? That's what I thought. THE END.
Story Quote"They were willing to give Earth the benefit of the doubt, especially since they recognized it wasn’t the same Earth that they struggled against in their history. Unfortunately, it would seem that they sent the wrong man to make first contact with them." #bulkstories #fishquotes
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