2021 Story Archive





January 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
D.B. Cooper TruthMy name is Danko Bartolomew Cooper, and I'm a time traveler. I can't just go anywhere in the timeline that I want. I have to be falling first. The faster and farther I fall, the further I can go, and making these calculations can be a real pain. But it's worth it. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisEvery Thursday, it's the same thing. I don't normally drive down this street, but it's the quickest route to work after I drop my dog off at daycare. I've been using my maps app every day, not because I don't know where I'm going, but I like to watch the traffic. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm Nick Fisherman, and I can't be sure I approve this message. You see, I shot this separately from the commercial you just saw. All parts of a commercial are shot separately, which means they could tack this at the end of anything, and make it look like I approve of whatever.
Story Quote"If you don’t like it, *tive criticism is fine, but don’t go around calling me a * * * *, or a * * * who can’t even * when * is on *, you piece * *, standing there with * and * * * shoelaces around your *. Okay, maybe some of these will be a little funny." #clozetests #fishquotes
2
D.B. Cooper TruthI love to travel, and to be in places that I'm not supposed to. I can't go watch dinosaurs roam the Earth, but I can witness recent human history unfold, and gain perspective about civilization. I try not to change the past, though. I've never been one to meddle. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisAt this one spot, the app goes into dark mode. It stays there for about two seconds, and then goes back to normal. It happens without fail, and of course that's not a big deal, whatever, but I've always wondered just what the heck is going on. Why does it do that? #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm a brony, man; just a brony. Just brony. Jabroni.
Story Quote"Zek activated the rendezvous card by flicking it out of her hand, which transported them to some unknown location in the middle of the forest. They were alone, but not for long. Pretty soon, several spots before them started warping with technicolors." #darningwars #fishquotes
3
D.B. Cooper TruthMy life was pretty great. I could find a cliff here, or a two story building there, and that would let me go back in time as far as I wanted to go. But I'm not the only time traveler, and no one else has my crazy falling limitation, and not all of them are nice. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere was a snowstorm the night before, and the roads are dangerously slick. I get a text after I've already dropped Daisy off, alerting me that work is closed. A lot of people in the office can work from home, but I can't, so I basically have the day off for free. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Your rapper name is the first word you ever spoke when no one was around to hear you, plus the last thing you said before you died. Mine is Albuquerque It Tastes Like Cyanide.
Story Quote"Without being asked, Imzadi teleported them to the bottom of the Mariana Trench, where they found themselves floating in the middle of an extensive underwater city. The Parallel natives saw everywhere as a place to live. Seemed too dangerous to Mateo." #salmonverse #fishquotes
4
D.B. Cooper TruthMy ability has its limits because I always have to find the right height to fall from. I met this other traveler who had no such limits, and I don't know what I did to piss him off, but whatever it was, it was enough to make him feel like he had to trap me in 1971. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWhat should I do with my extra time? Why, I should investigate this weird dark mode glitch. It's probably just an error in the app, but again, I got all this time, so I might as well see. I turn around, and drive back past the block. Then I do it a few more times. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy parole officer's nephew: "Why is there a dead fly in this cabinet?" // Me: "That's where it goes."
Story Quote"Anyway, I keep *, and the *er I make it into the *, the calmer I begin to *. The noises of the * fade, and I find myself *, which is how I always liked it before I met *. Maybe * aren’t so bad after all. Maybe I’m just a * grump. Wouldn't that be just *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
5
D.B. Cooper TruthNow, I like 1971 as much as the next guy, but only as a visitor. I wouldn't want to live here full time. There aren't any computers, and it kind of has this certain smell. I have two options to get out of here. I can make a series of short jumps…or one big jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere's not much that I can do to test this glitch, but I can get out, and see if it happens while I'm walking. I mean, I shouldn't, because it's well below freezing, but I do it, because it's important that I not be productive today. That would be a true waste. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingLou Diamond Phillip Seymour Hoffman. That is all.
Story Quote"Shortly after I * here, I was so paranoid about that possibility that I * this place apart, looking for surveillance *. I didn’t find *ing, but I’m not getting my deposit *, that’s for *. I didn’t ________ destroy the place, but I did cause a * damage." #clozetests #fishquotes
6
D.B. Cooper TruthEach method comes with problems. The short jumps will tire me out, as they always do. I normally have to take a day or two to recover, and that's a lot of time for as far forward as I have to time travel. The big jump is a problem, because I can't get up that high. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWalking actually does help, because it's much more precise. Now I can see that dark mode turns on just as I cross what I assume is the property line for this one particular house. As soon as I cross back out of it on the other side, it turns off. It's this house. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryInterpreter: "The seer says that the sun will explode in ten billion years. Wait, I translated this wrong. Ten billion nanoseconds, he said. Wait…that's only, like, ten sec—oh, crap."
Story Quote"It’s more * to get trapped in an off-* conversation with each *. My co-*s were always just hanging out in *, and not in a way that let me * out either. We weren’t * with business yet, so we all had to * around anyway. It was so pointless, really, I * it." #clozetests #fishquotes
7
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm leaning towards the big jump, because I did once try a series of short jumps by skipping a few steps, and not only did it tire me out, but it completely stopped working for a few days. I never knew if I was just out of shape, or if it was a built-in limitation. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe house doesn't look different than any of the others in this neighborhood. It has brick siding on the bottom, and vinyl above, and a garage that comes all the way out from the façade. It's weed-free, and well-maintained. I would call it perfectly unremarkable. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't ask for whom the bell tolls. It just does that every day; we don't know why.
Story Quote"I’m worried it’s a * that will destroy the *, though, so I spend the next * looking for my old *. I mean, this * is ancient. It still boots up, but the * I’m not using my * computer is because I don’t want there to be any * of the * connecting to the *." #clozetests #fishquotes
8
D.B. Cooper TruthHow can I get up high enough for a big jump? I could jump off the highest building around, and just do that multiple times, but then people will start noticing that a man keeps jumping, and disappearing for years before resurfacing. We don't need that attention. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI only notice a difference when I step off of the sidewalk, and onto the private walkway, which I know I shouldn't do. There's no sign that says no solicitors, or one claiming that they'll shoot trespassers, but I just have to know. It's warmer. It's a lot warmer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't count your chickens before I'm done killing the ones I don't like.
Story Quote"There are, after all, seven and a half billion people, or so. So what if someone did that? Made a restaurant just for the weirdos like me? You wouldn’t have to eat anything you didn’t want, but you would be encouraged to try other people’s odd favorites." #clozetests #fishquotes
9
D.B. Cooper TruthI think about it hard, but I already know I have only one good option. Well, I probably can't call it a good option, but it's the only viable one, at the very least. I need a plane. I need to jump out of a plane. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Piece of cake. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere is something very, very weird about this house, and I'm in too deep. If I don't go ring the doorbell, the mystery is going to keep me up at night for the rest of my life. I'm not brave, but I figure my car is parked nearby, so they'll find my body eventually. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI sometimes like to kidnap two percent of the people in a small town, and leave their belongings right where people last saw them; ya know, to make the rest of the town think their neighbors all went insane and ran off somewhere naked.
Story Quote"It was kind of a coincidence that both parent species chose to seed life on the same planet, except it wasn’t that far-fetched, because there were a finite number of hospitable worlds available, and humans wanted to live everywhere they possibly could." #darningwars #fishquotes
10
D.B. Cooper TruthJumping out of a plane isn't any more dangerous than jumping off the roof of a building. Both will kill me; one will just do it faster. Still, I've never tried it before, and I'm very nervous about it. Finding the right pilot to take me up is my first step, though. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisA large needle comes out of the doorbell as I push it. It comes out fast, and goes all the way through my finger. I thought I've felt pain before, but this is several levels above that. There's nothing I can do now except fall to my back and hope for a quick death. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Italian angels speak gnocchian.
Story Quote"People were already living in megastructures that avoided damaging large swathes of land by going more vertical. There were plans to take this further, and start hanging all of their structures from orbit, so they never had to touch the ground at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
11
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm an idiot. Even though I have to keep my time travel a secret, it's just not in my nature to lie. So when I try to go up in the air with a skydiver, and I reject the parachute, he immediately assumes I'm trying to kill myself, and of course, doesn't let me jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI roll to my stomach as I'm screaming as loud as possible. A desperate young woman is trying to get her dog to poop in the yard next door, and she doesn't hear me. She might not even see me. I may have slipped past the veil of death already without realizing it. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”It's not illegal to take your clothes off on television, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would have to be a really strong TV to support your weight while you're taking off your clothes.
Story Quote"I didn't know that * could talk, but I've always *ed to * with *s. I've been so * curious what they're *ing about, how * they are, and most importantly, what they * of humans. I am no linguistic *, but I did study it in *, and this is a * opportunity." #clozetests #fishquotes
12
D.B. Cooper TruthNo problem, I figure. I can find any random small airplane pilot to take me up, and I'll be much more discreet this time. I'll even wear the parachute, then just not deploy it. But news travels fast in the overworld of skydiving. They all know to look out for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe door opens, but I'm unable to look back before a pair of hands grasps me at the ankles and pull me into the house alarmingly fast. I can see the door slam shut on its own just before I round the corner. The evil hands continue to drag me throughout the house. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo not fire until you see the blues of my eyes. When my eyes turn blue, it means it's become too cold for my body, and I need you to start the fire again.
Story Quote"I saw one a few * back where the * date was the same as the * date. What * there? I mean, I * what happened *. But how did the * react, and what became of * afterwards? It * have been heart*, I don’t know what I would have done if I were a * of that *." #clozetests #fishquotes
13
D.B. Cooper TruthThe more I try to find a pilot who doesn't know who I am, or what I'm supposedly planning to do, the harder it becomes. What is going on with these people? It's 1971, but they're acting like they already have access to some kind of global microblogging platform. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisDid I say house? It's more like a castle, and bigger on the inside. We go down two flights of stairs, and then up three, and then down one, which for anyone keeping track, should leave us back on the ground floor. But who knows, right? This is supernatural anyway. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI invented cookies, and I invented cream, but it was entirely different genius who thought to put them together. We finally met 90 years later, and ended up being married for the next 250.
Story Quote"It’s stuck in the * as much as I’m trapped on this *. I think at any * that I should * up and discover this is nothing * than a *, but that never happens. Perhaps a *ulation? The ceiling * belonged to a virtual * company. Yeah, that must be the *, right?" #clozetests #fishquotes
14
D.B. Cooper TruthNow my only hope seems to be getting myself on a regular passenger jet, but that can't possibly work. I would have to open the door while it's in the sky, and that's dangerous for everyone else. I would need to get everyone else off of it first, and that's a crime. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisFinally the dragger stops, and leaves me on the floor for a moment. I want to turn over so I can at least see what's about to kill me, but I'm in way too much pain. It's a miracle I've survived this far. It doesn't let me rest long before it lifts me into the air. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationTow Dispatch: "We can have a truck out to you in an hour. What kind of car are you driving?" // Me: "Uhh…looks like a Honda Airbag." // Dispatch: "That is not the model, sir." // Me: "Honda…Passenger Airbag?" // Dispatch: "Did you steal this vehicle, sir?" // Me: *hangs up*
Story Quote"Plenty of * don’t go to * , and they lead very * lives. Not * can be the CEO of a multinational *, and it’s foolish to dig yourself into a mountain of * just on the fraction of a * chance that it all comes * for you. I choose to be *istic, and I won’t *." #clozetests #fishquotes
15
D.B. Cooper TruthIt is a crime I'm willing to commit. The ends justify the means. I don't want to spend another day in 1971. It's already made me crazy enough to hijack a damn airplane. How bad will it get if I stay here any longer? I sit down, and start working out the details. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisIt slams me against the wall, and looks into my eyes. Its own eyes are down on its chin, while its ears are hanging underneath. A very large mouth is in the middle of its head, with sharp teeth, and a shockingly pleasant smell. I can't find its own nose, though. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingI'm always looking for that sweet, sweet sign that reads LLAMAS PERMITTED.
Story Quote"I roll my *, and take a kitchen * out of the *. I hand it to *, and before I can lay down some * rules, she slides the * across my *. It *. I don’t know what I * was going to *, but not this. This hurts. This is what * feels like? * feel this all the *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
16
D.B. Cooper TruthMy main priority is keeping other people safe, though the plan itself is risky. I could live my life from here on out, and while I would hate it, at least no one else would suffer. But it will be okay. I can escape and protect the other passengers simultaneously. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe creature hisses at me. "Why have you come?" // "I was curious," I answer, wishing I could wipe the blood from my lips. // "Curious about what?" it hisses back. // "My phone," I say. "It goes into dark mode as I pass." // "What is dark mode? That sounds fun." #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI'm writing a screenplay about a kid who finds a meteor in the woods, and then gets superpowers. He doesn't get the powers from the meteor, though. He buys them from an urban wizard later that day. I guess I don't know why there's a meteor at all; it never comes up again.
Story Quote"They looked at her, a little shocked, but not completely surprised. They knew she was all gung ho about killing the Ochivari, but she was also quite protective of her universe, and if keeping this ship around put it in danger, was that worth the risk?" #darningwars #fishquotes
17
D.B. Cooper TruthI also need to spend a lot of time working on the math. One thing I've not yet mentioned is that I can't choose when the actual jump occurs. It will always happen just before I hit the ground. I guess it's the sick joke part of my amazing time traveling ability. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The screen just turns darker, so it doesn't block you from seeing the road." // "That does not sound very fun," it says angrily. "You deceive me with your words!" // "I meant no disrespect." // "I suppose I can forgive the mistake of a human." // "What are you?" #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have no disappointments, no shames, nor egrets. I've had a little bit of heron.
Story Quote"Mateo reached to the back of his neck, even though he was pretty sure he wasn’t in his body anymore anyway, and this was about as real as any dream. The patch was gone, as was the pain, but he still felt some connection to it. Perhaps he always would." #salmonverse #fishquotes
18
D.B. Cooper TruthA skydiving plane would be perfect, because they only go up to about 3,000 meters, which is exactly what I need for the math to work out. So now I need to work out the social aspect of this plan, to make sure the pilot flies at the altitude I need, and no higher. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You could not pronounce my name with your tongue," the creature answers. "You can call me Bringer of Death." // "Okay. Would you please let me go, Bringer of Death?" // "Will you run?" // "I cannot run," I reply truthfully. // "I am not surprised." He releases me. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryMy species evolved with what essentially come down to taste buds in our butts. Evolutionary biologists claim our ancestors used to be able to detect medical conditions through our stool, but I hesitate to believe that. My theory is that we were genetically engineered as a joke.
Story Quote"One *, I even slipped in one of my real *, just to see how it would be *. It didn’t get great *, but they actually weren’t that bad. There were just fewer of them this time, because fewer * were * in providing their *. It was only an ex*, so that’s fine." #clozetests #fishquotes
19
D.B. Cooper TruthThis flight to Seattle seems a good of a choice as any. It really doesn't matter, as long as it can reach the right altitude. I can't believe I'm actually doing it, hijacking a plane. But I have to get home, it's killing me here. It's too far…too far in the past. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I did not know what I would find in this house," I say as I'm massaging my neck and chest. "I would not have approached if I had. I would very much like to leave, and forget this ever happened." // "You think I will be so easily fooled?" The Bringer of Death asks. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI like the part of the movie #Breakthrough where the mother drags her son's hospital bed back to the water and drowns him again. I watched it out of the corner of my eye on someone else's screen on an airplane, so I'm not sure what drove her to do this.
Story Quote"Where do these * end? Well, some will * you into another human *, but others lead to an *, or even an insect. Some of them exit right back * at the *, so you can * again, and a few will * you into an * worker, like the * who’s explaining all this to *." #clozetests #fishquotes
20
D.B. Cooper TruthTo make it look real, I carry a black case to the airport, knowing that security is lax enough in this time period for me to get away with taking a fake bomb onto an airplane. I pay with cash, one-way, and board with everyone else. Seat 18C. I order myself a drink. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I am not trying to fool you, Bringer. I am begging for my life." // "That could be fun," he decides. "Do it better! Make me pity you!" // I get on my bloody knees and beg. I make sure he knows how amazing and terrible he is, and that only he can choose my fate. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Hot tip: if you don't have a tissue handy, you can sneeze into the back of the neck of the person standing in front of you in line. It's me, and I can't confront you about it, because I'm still on parole.
Story Quote"One leads from my * to the * about a * away, and the * is only half as long, but it goes from my *, which is already * deeply in the *. I realize that my * goal is to disappear, not just sur*. Over time, I decide it doesn’t * if I truly need to or not." #clozetests #fishquotes
21
D.B. Cooper TruthSoon after we take off, I make my move. I hand the flight attendant a note, but she doesn't read it, because she just thinks I'm hitting on her. I coax her into doing it, and she complies with my demand that she sit next to me quietly. She demands to see the bomb. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer laughs. "Oh, it has been so long since I've tasted the fear in a man's voice. You do not know how much I yearn to leave this place." // "How long has it been?" I question. // "Centuries since The Adorned Ones trapped me here. Has the world changed much?" #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo you think flamingos know that their food turns them pink? If not, do you think it would bother them if I were to tell them?
Story Quote"Obviously, it’s even * of a violation, however, so I've only ever done it *. And that was just to * if I was capable of it. The subject consented to my *, and I * him from any hold I had over him * afterwards. I possess no ambition to * any*, for any *." #clozetests #fishquotes
22
D.B. Cooper TruthI ask for parachutes and $200,000, but I'm not sure if that's too much, or too little, because we don't have money where I'm from. The pilot draws circles in the sky while the authorities gather what I've asked for. Then we land, and I let all of the passengers go. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The world has changed little since you've been trapped," I lie. // "The darkness," he begins. "Has the darkness overtaken the lands, as my master promised?" // "It has," I lie again. "I cannot see without my torch." I show him my phone. He is disinterested in it. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationPinky: "What are we doing tonight?" // The Brain: "Same thing we do every night, Pinky…try to make an original reference to a 90s animated series."
Story Quote"This looks like a great * to escape, which is why I can’t. They’re testing *, and because it’s starting * so easy, not to see how I * to get out, but how I sur* once I’m *. We’re probably * a volcano, or a ship. I’m staying right *, thank you very much." #clozetests #fishquotes
23
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce they're done refueling, we take off again, but only with the bare minimum crew. We decide to refuel yet again in Reno so I can make it all the way to Mexico City, but of course, that doesn't matter to me, because I'll be getting off long before that anyway. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I would much like to see," Bringer says. "I caught a glimpse of the night as I pulled you in, but could not stay long. The bell only affords me one second of a proximity to freedom." That's it. That's what turns on dark mode. My phone thinks it's nighttime here. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”If I were a competitive runner, I would probably try to move my legs really fast, so I could get to the finish line first. I guess it takes someone further removed from the sport to figure this out.
Story Quote"The receptionist smiled at them, took down their info, and relayed it to the appropriate representative. Then she asked them to sit in the waiting room. No one else there was the least bit concerned about Khuweka’s form. This seemed like a nice world." #darningwars #fishquotes
24
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce all of the crew is in the cockpit where it's safest, I lower the stairs, open the hatch, and jump into the air. I want to hesitate and prepare myself, but I've done enough. The math is right, the altitude is perfect, and I'm ready to sink or swim, so to speak. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"What would happen if the sun returns?" I would say I'm doing a fine job on the improv. // "That would surely kill me," he explains. // "There are some places where the sun peaks through, and they are near this place. If we venture out, we would have to take care." #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy Girlfriend: "Will you marry me?" // Me: "Yes, yes, YES! Five times 'yes'!
Story Quote"They felt the slight tug that came each time they teleported. It was subtle, and easy to get used to, but stronger now, because they did it again. And again, and again, and again. 'Time to destination: sixteen hours, forty-two minutes,' Imzadi reported." #salmonverse #fishquotes
25
D.B. Cooper TruthIt's freezing cold on the way down, but I know it won't have a chance to kill me. I can bear it for the duration. I count the seconds in my head. One. Two. Three. All the way to twenty-three. If I go for much longer, I'll hit the ground, and that will be it for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You would do this?" he asks out of hope. "You would do this for me?" // "You spared my life, and so I must repay you. It is our way." Yeah, I'm a better actor than I ever knew. // I think he's smiling. "We will go now. You will have no time to recover." // "Okay." #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Have you been the victim of a hit and run? Have you experienced a conflict with your neighbor? Did you accidentally kill someone? We take any case; no matter how small. You can always count on Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith & Smith.
Story Quote"I turn my * yet again. The paintings have fallen to the *, and the wall* is peeling. Chairs are turned *, and a few are broken. I have either just * to the future, or * to some kind of eerie upside down silent ghost dimension. I have to find help, and *." #clozetests #fishquotes
26
D.B. Cooper TruthJust before the trees can spear me, I open my portal, and make the jump to the future. Now this is the hard part. I've just been gathering all this momentum, and that doesn't go away on its own. The exit portal opens upside down, so that now I'm "falling" upwards. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer doesn't urge me too forcefully as I'm following him through the castle maze. He understands that I'm badly hurt, and if he's been waiting centuries to walk out of here then he knows that he can wait a few extra minutes. We finally make it back to the foyer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryThat don't impress me. I once made an apple out of a bong. The starving child I gave it to found it a lot more useful than if I had done it the other way around.
Story Quote"They have taken it upon themselves to foster the * of younger civilizations. This * comes in many forms, but what they’ve found is that our * problems are our internal *. We just keep * each other, for stupid things, like religion, and *, and skin color." #clozetests #fishquotes
27
D.B. Cooper TruthGravity starts working against me, so while I'm able to go back up in the air pretty high, I soon reach a maximum, at which point I open another portal, about a minute into the future, and down on the ground. I do have a little leeway when it comes to the z-axis. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You can't open it yourself," I guess. // "Only an Adorned One can hold it open for more than one second." // "I got you," I say. I pull open the door, but immediately feel it trying to lock back into place. "Go! Go now!" // "You fool! I won't come back for you!" #ModusTenebris
Nanostory#BreakingBad didn't even get the full first season the writers wanted before it was cancelled three years ago, but now they're apparently considering no less than four⁠—FOUR⁠—spinoffs. What the hell is Nickelodeon thinking?
Story Quote"I have to * over to the * lane to pass *. Sometimes I even jog over to the exit lane, and quickly get * in, which I’m pretty * is illegal, but some * are only for * who can’t handle it. Anyway, I get off the * today, and there’s construction all over *." #clozetests #fishquotes
28
D.B. Cooper TruthI catch my breath, and look around, grateful that it worked, and I'm still alive. I don't know if I made it all the way exactly where I needed to, but it must be close enough. I know I traveled about 480 years, so it won't be too hard to make my way home from here. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWith an evil cackle, he races out of the door, just in time for me to lose my grip. I stand on my toes, and look out the little window. He's made it to the street, where he's discovered that the sun isn't gone after all. He smolders and screams. My plan has worked. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I keep accidentally spraying my armpits with my nose spray, and shoving deodorant up my nose. I don't know how to fix this.
Story Quote"I’m happy with what I’ve ended up doing, using quick installments to tell a larger story. There’s still a reason why they’re separated, and none of them is one unbroken tale that’s been arbitrarily divided, but I do love building worlds. I always have." #clozetests #fishquotes
29
D.B. Cooper TruthThe man who trapped me in 1971 appears from behind a tree, sporting an evil smile. I remind him that he agreed never to trap me again, and he confirms that this is true. But that doesn't mean I'm in the clear. He tells me that I made a mistake, and trapped myself. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI smile as the light burns Bringer's skin. Cars crash into each other so as to avoid hitting him, but they'll be fine. In under a minute, he's turned completely to ash. I can't believe how well that went. I killed some kind of demon. I didn't know I had it in me. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMe: "Would you love me if I got fat?" // Her: "No." // Me: "You wouldn't?" // Her: "But only because I don't know you, and don't love you now. Please answer the question; paper or plastic?" // Me: "Paper, obviously. Do you hate the environment, you monster? We're over."
Story Quote"Very good. Thanks, Botner. I’m sure you’ll do well. Botner turns off and there’s nothing more to read about science. And you may never know who wrote it, and you’ll be left with the question of how to go about doing some small fact-checking on the page." #botner #fishquotes
30
D.B. Cooper TruthIt turns out I didn't jump 483 years into the future. I jumped 483 years into the past. It's the year 1488, which is further back than I've ever been, and there is nothing in the world high and vertical enough to get me back to nearly a millennium into the future. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisNow that it's over, I reach for the knob, and try to pull the door open again. But it doesn't budge. It might as well just be a decorative hunk of metal screwed to a solid wall. I twist and pull, and pull and twist, but nothing. I'm trapped here, just like he was. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I was employee of the year two months in a row, except for the last week of the first month.
Story Quote"While a nurse for a time traveling doctor named Sarka, Freya once got hurt herself, and was given narcotics. She recalled feeling heavy and stiff, and believed she could detect the blood moving throughout her body. This was what it looked like for Zek." #darningwars #fishquotes
31
D.B. Cooper TruthI would die of old age trying to get home, or be so old that it becomes too taxing on my body. So instead, I'll die here. Alone. In a time before toilet paper was invented. The Cleanser laughs his ass off, and walks away through his own portal, dooming me to this. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI killed the demon, but took his place, and for the last year, I've been looking for some other way out of the castle, but there's nothing. This is worse than the time I almost died in the woods in Maine. I can't take it anymore. Someone. Please. Come ring my bell. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have never recognized the name or face of anyone who has appeared on #DancingWiththeStars.
Story Quote"Nerakali was ashamed that she had done this procedure before, but glad it would help now. She taught Leona alone how to remove Mateo’s decent memories, leaving only boring ones, like standing in line, and waiting for dial-up to connect to the internet." #salmonverse #fishquotes

February 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Mind of DaltonDalton is a time traveler, who lived his life three times. It would seem that these resets were some kind of test, which he passed once he fulfilled whatever potential he apparently had. And now he's in someone else's body, and wondering if it's yet another test. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI break out of the prison castle. All it took was slipping dozens of letters underneath the side door, and waiting for even just one of them to be taken by the wind, and delivered to someone willing to try to ring the doorbell, and unlock it for one second. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryIt makes me feel bad when I walk into a room, and everyone in it either teleports away, or phase-shifts through the wall. They do this every time. Should I switch deodorant brands? Or antidimensional cross-tricklers? No, I did not make up those words. Jerk. Yeah, you better run!
Story Quote"They take me on a two mile hike, then we sit around a campfire and they share their beers with me. It was a pretty sweet experience, even though I couldn't understand a word they were saying. I wake up bright and early, and it is sunny and gorgeous." #botner #fishquotes
2
Mind of DaltonDalton can tell that he's not himself, but he can't tell whose body this is. He looks for a mirror, but finds nothing of the sort. He reaches up, and starts trying to get a feel for it. Feminine figure, soft skin. Young. Perhaps far too young for all this groping. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeMy elation from having finally been released from the dark castle is shortlived. People in full hazmat suits rush up to me, stuff me in a van, and drive off. Others are there, chained up, but none of them will talk. We drive for several hours with no stops. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI'm technically a Carradine.
Story Quote"I poured the gas into the mouth of the nuclear bomb. Then I lit a match. It didn’t take long for the entire store to catch fire. I escaped with a few of my comrades, and we fled into the desert. I later learned that the whole thing was a controlled action." #botner #fishquotes
3
Mind of DaltonHe's in a bedroom, fit for a tween girl, supporting his theory about whose body he's been forced into possessing. He quietly opens a door, only to find that it's a closet. He opens another, but it leads to a hallway. He's hoping the third is a bathroom. It is not. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeWhen we arrive wherever, our captors drag us down a dark and extremely long staircase. They're not overly aggressive, but they maintain the pace, and we have to keep up. The other abductees don't look so good, but my castle had an endless supply of fresh meat. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryCould you tell me how deep this lake is? Is it deep enough to sink a car? I don't need to get rid of evidence; I just need to know if the lake is car deep. Don't tell anyone I asked, though. In fact, why don't you climb into this car?
Story Quote"He’s 30. We are only 19. So my parents said that if he married me before we are able to have sex, I’ll go to a boarding school. I think this is wrong. I want to be in school. I want to be close to my friends. I don’t want to be forced to stay at home." #botner #fishquotes
4
Mind of DaltonInstead of a bathroom, Dalton sees a swirling portal. He's never seen a portal before, but as a time traveler, he can't really be surprised by anything anymore. The smart thing to do would be to close the door, and never think about it again. So that's what he does. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe hazmat suiters continue to treat us harshly, spraying us with power-washers, and blasting us with lights. There's obviously been some kind of—I dunno, pandemic, or something. We're survivors, and I guess these people have to make sure we don't infect them. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingBehind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is a horde of angry 99%ers. They're gaining on us! Run faster!
Story Quote"5. I've hit a deer and I've flipped over a car (not at the same time). 6. I hate mushrooms and I'm vegetarian…but not for cultural reasons. When I'm inebriated I want nothing more than to have a plate of red, heart-shaped things for dessert." #botner #fishquotes
5
Mind of DaltonThis body feels tired, so he gets her into bed, and closes her eyes. He reawakens immediately, almost like a blink, and the world has changed. He's standing on grass. Large stones tower above him. It's Stonehenge, obviously. A lone smiling man starts a slow clap. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeEven though I get that they have to protect themselves against us, they could be a little gentler. It all comes to a head when we're being escorted down a hallway, and one of the guards starts being a little too rough with a survivor. I can't take it anymore. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryI've started drinking raw water, but only at work. The idea is to get sick from it, and force them to give me workman's compensation. My coworker says my plan will fail, since I'm not getting the water FROM my employer, but I'm still gonna try. Couldn't hurt, right?
Story Quote"I first heard about it a while back, when it was on the list for a discussion I was having with someone, and was intrigued by the idea. It’s the story of a family living in northern Alberta, and how that environment changes the lives of those involved." #botner #fishquotes
6
Mind of DaltonOnce the stranger is done clapping, he introduces himself as The Delegator, and expresses admiration for Dalton. The portal would have apparently sent the girl to a dangerous and deadly place. They expected Dalton to fight the fight for her, but this is even better. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI literally step out of line, and run up to push the guard away. I don't want to fight, but he takes it as a challenge, and pushes back. I hit the floor. I'm well-nourished, but have never been strong. I get up, but he takes hold, and swings me into a room. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm trying to get funding for a little TV show I like to call #BreakingBad. With any luck, it'll premiere in the summer of 2019.
Story Quote"Kivi finally handed Diamond Zek to Landis. 'Due to this uncertainty, I feel it is best we inform the crew, so that we may prepare for any eventuality. I do not want to use the weapons systems, but we may have no other choice.' She turned to walk away." #darningwars #fishquotes
7
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator explains that Dalton belongs to a class of time travelers known as salmon, who have no control over their lives, but are called to help people throughout the timeline in different ways. Dalton first had to fix his own life before he could save others. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall again, and feel the back of my skull slam against the cold cement floor. A pair of arms takes hold, and pulls me into a lap. My vision is growing dim, but I see the door close, and hear it lock electronically. "Hey, wait!" a voice cries. "Who is this?" #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI cut my bird shaving.
Story Quote"She could read him just as well as before, which was odd given that he was the one whose personality had changed, but he wasn’t going to question it. It was irrelevant. Communication only mattered when trying to accomplish something, which he wasn’t." #salmonverse #fishquotes
8
Mind of DaltonSo this is what he's going to do now. He'll just keep jumping to other people's minds for brief periods of time, and making different choices for them. None will last longer than several minutes, and none of the people will remember anything weird happened to them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for Three"I have no idea," the guard tells the person who's holding me. "The doors lock automatically, and there's no way to unlock them until quarantine is over. You two will just have to figure things out. Good luck with that." // I feel myself losing consciousness. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI've had something stuck in my teeth since the Triassic period. For anyone searching for a pun or clever twist in this "joke" there isn't one. It's just a dumb thing I said.
Story Quote"But I felt responsible for the woman, and so I went to her. She was sitting on the ground, her husband standing above her, screaming at her. The whole thing seemed so barbaric, but I tried to calm her down, and tell her that she would be all right." #botner #fishquotes
9
Mind of DaltonThe people he saves will move on with their lives from the moment he leaves their minds, fully believing that whatever choice he made for them was actually their idea all along. Meanwhile, he'll go somewhere else, into someone else, at some other point in spacetime. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI hear voices in the room with me, at least two of them, but things are growing hazy. The back of my head is wet, and painful. I don't pass out, but I'm not all there either. They drag me to the shower, then dry me off, and then pull me up to an unmade bed. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”You ever done #goatpoopyoga? Some people just call it #goatyoga, but there's too much goat poop for me to not call it goat poop yoga.
Story Quote"I know a lot of us will also watch the game, and although I am excited, I am also nervous. I have worked hard to get to this point in my life, and I know how proud my family will be of me. They will look at me and tell me that they are so proud of me." #botner #fishquotes
10
Mind of DaltonAt this point, it appears as though the Delegator expects Dalton to argue. Why should he have to do this? What's in it for him? But no. This isn't the life he chose, but it's the life he was given, and if it's his special way of helping people, then he's in. 100%. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe bed is uncomfortable without any sheets, but it's better than the tile shower, or the cement floor, so I can't complain. The voices talk to each other while I'm trying to recover. Apparently, the guards haven't distributed clothes yet, so we're all naked. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI never say "anonymous" anymore. I always pronounce it "anon-1-mous".
Story Quote"I want to say that it was a case of free will, but really...he had already touched my bladder, I was scared. I didn’t have the time to think about what I was going to do. I ran home as fast as I could and didn’t stop for a breath ’til I was in my bedroom." #botner #fishquotes
11
Mind of DaltonWith the explanation out of the way, the Delegator has decided to send him off to his next assignment. There will be no further interruptions. He'll complete a task, then jump to the next one, and have to figure it all out himself. Dalton can't help but be excited. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAfter a few hours, the swelling in my head has gone down, and I can sit up, and look around. Since I fell, there was always this possibility that this whole thing has been a hallucination or dream. Now I know I am in some kind of bunker with two other people. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm a patient care technician, and I really want to make sure I do a good job, so your feedback is VITAL to me.
Story Quote"I gave up Catholicism. This is one of those stories that I am glad that I have. I am glad that my heart was pure, and I found an answer to my question before it was too late. I am glad that I had enough common sense to take responsibility for my actions." #botner #fishquotes
12
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator charges Dalton to walk under one of the stone arches. It doesn't matter which one, because even though all of this is real, he no longer has his own body, so he's not physically present at Stonehenge anyway. He steps through, and starts his journey. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI stand up to stretch my legs. I decide there's no point being self-conscious about my body, because these two strangers have already seen everything, and I can now see them. One introduces himself as Irekenn, and the other Naledi. They are husband and wife. #QuarantineforThree
Good Frickin' PointHi, I'm a male cop, and this is my wife, a lady nurse.
Story Quote"I just don’t do well when someone hurts my pride. I know that I don’t deal with rejection well, because my ego is the biggest part of my sense of identity, and when someone uses it against me, I don’t handle it well. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before." #botner #fishquotes
13
Mind of DaltonHe finds himself standing on the edge of a building. He's not one to know measurements, but a couple dozen stories would be his guess. Below him, he can see the street, yes, but he can also see several portals. More portals? Really? Okay. A man is laughing at him. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI thank them for helping me recover, and then explain a little bit about where I've been. I tell them I was trapped in a house for a year, but I don't say anything about a monster, or the fact that the doors didn't open because of magic, not because of locks. #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationMe: "Don't get me wrong, I love my wife. It's just that her breasts are so large, I keep confusing them with mountains." // @Shakira: "See?! I told you!"
Story Quote"Early vessels needed time to accelerate, and just as much time to decelerate, but even the humans managed to conceive a workaround that allowed them to reach target velocities almost instantly without turning passengers into mush against the back wall." #darningwars #fishquotes
14
Mind of DaltonThe man calls himself as The Cleanser. Ooo, ominous, Dalton is so impressed, or whatever. The Cleanser is fully aware of that he's not the person he forced onto the ledge, but he's going to make him choose which portal to jump into anyway. He just wants to have fun. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI meant to say that the doors did indeed open because of magic. Okay, I may have a concussion. I sit back down just as a guard passes by our quarantine cell, and stuffs three plastic wrapped outfits through the door slot. They're actually quite comfortable. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I've never been able to find anything good on Craigslist. It's all just people asking me to be their serial killer partner. But, like, I work alone.
Story Quote"He had a real hard time being motivated, which was his whole thing now, but luckily, Imzadi was able to take control of the supersuit. He kept the helmet on the whole time, and sort of just stayed along for the ride. He even nodded off once or twice." #salmonverse #fishquotes
15
Mind of DaltonDalton thinks about arguing, but what would be the point of that? The Cleanser can make a dozen portals, and detect it as soon as someone has been possessed by another consciousness. All things being equal, he makes a random decision, then leaps off of the building. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAs we're getting dressed, Irekenn and Naledi get me up to speed about what's happened. A virus swept across the planet, killing over eighty percent of the population quickly. Survivors survived because they quarantined themselves, not because some are immune. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingReece is Monkey.
Story Quote"But when we lump all those groups into the same population, I don’t want to be part of it. It makes me want to question my own bias a little bit because how can I be anti-gun when I grew up with them? I have a friend who is a responsible gun owner." #botner #fishquotes
16
Mind of DaltonHe lands in a swamp, and immediately climbs up to the surface so he can start swimming towards land. It's unclear whether this was a bad choice, or a good one. Perhaps one would have taken him to a field with 72 virgins, or maybe all but this one led to volcanoes. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey call it the bringavirus, or the bringer virus, which immeditely makes me think of the monster that I let die in the sunlight. Could that…? No. No, that couldn't possibly have anything to do with it. Unless… Oh my God, I did this. I released the virus. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI like nuse photos.
Story Quote"The customer who works in the store, the customer who is savvy and research-savvy enough to see a difference on the box, or the one at the cash register? This is one reason I stopped purchasing “wet” applesauce and started buying the squeezy variety." #botner #fishquotes
17
Mind of DaltonHe doesn't stop moving when I reaches the swamp bank. Alligators can walk on land, and who knows what else is lurking in the woods, waiting to kill him? Keep moving, look for shelter, and hope that the Cleanser shows up at some point, and sends him back to safety. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeObviously I say nothing to them about my suspicions. I may have released the creature that eventually spread some kind of deadly virus that killed most of the population of the planet, but I couldn't have possibly known that would happen. I did what I had to. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingMe chillin' in the IMDB message boards in 2021, like, "where e'erbody at?" They're at Borders.
Story Quote"So I went and bought the garlic bread from the grocery store and purchased a can of chicken broth…cause soup needs the broth. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, and I am in the soup bliss. I am hoping this soup is more savory than bland." #botner #fishquotes
18
Mind of DaltonDalton walks for miles until he comes across a field of portals. The land between them is thin, like a balance beam. On the other side of a field is an upright portal that appears to show the inside of a house. The object is to get to that portal without falling. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI covertly change the subject, because I don't want to think about the fact that I singlehandedly destroyed civilization. I ask them more about themselves, and also tell them about my own life before the virus. They owned and ran an apartment complex together. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Cancel #BreakingBad, you cowards!
Story Quote"At this point, the standard human reaction would be to marvel at the skill of the plant’s operator, who has apparently decided to use its many complicated arms and legs to celebrate Japan’s 125th year of reign in the world’s foremost soccer league." #botner #fishquotes
19
Mind of DaltonHe figures the most sane option would be to turn back, and go around, or some other way, but that is not an option. He's now surrounded by portals on the ground, so he either risks jumping into one of the mysteries, or carefully makes his way to the obvious goal. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey seem like such a lovely couple at first, but then they start telling me anecdotes about some of their tenants. It becomes clear how racist they are. They act like they saved a bunch of black people from gang life by graciously giving them a place to live. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryWe call them gas guzzlers. In England, they call them petrol puzzlers.
Story Quote"The question is, if there are some who don't believe it, what do they believe? What a perfect way to answer that question: Saint Peter, shut the door. I told you so. I love the idea that God would get that upset with us for going around unregenerate people." #botner #fishquotes
20
Mind of DaltonDalton starts tiptoeing through the field, nearly falling in many times. There are larger spots of land since the portals are circular, and don't line up with each other like hexagons would, but they are of varying sizes, to make the trip harder, and less straight. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI try to remain polite as I listen, because we're going to be stuck in this room for weeks, but it's exhausting. I simultaneously can't make them think I'm also racist, because that will come back to bite me in the ass later, I'm sure of it, that's my luck. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingUsing heat vision to operate my smartphone.
Story Quote"It wasn’t the worst possible place to live, but it wasn’t civilized either. They built a latrine in the ground, and wiped themselves with leaves, and no matter how intricate they made their Crusoe dwelling, the toilet situation wouldn’t ever get better." #darningwars #fishquotes
21
Mind of DaltonFinally, he makes it all the way to the final portal. The image on the other side is clearer. It's a nice house in a nice neighborhood. The Cleanser is leaning against the edge, and slow-clapping, like The Delegator was, though this is not sincere, but sarcastic. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI am not so good at hiding my feelings. They detect the change in my demeanor. Otherwise unprompted, they start arguing with me, and making claims that they can't be racist, because of all of their black customers. That's so not the point, but what can I say? #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationIndeed: "Apply?" // Me: "Indeed, Indeed. Apply."
Story Quote"Intellectually, he knew that not being worried about anything could get him into trouble. After all, risks were still there, as they were a part of life. But it was a nice change of pace, knowing that everything would turn out okay, if that wasn’t true." #salmonverse #fishquotes
22
Mind of DaltonThe Cleanser is impressed that Dalton managed to get through the portal field, but bored with the whole thing. With barely a thought, he reaches over, and knocks Dalton into one of the portals he spent all that time trying to avoid, presumably because it's funny. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeNormally, I would remove myself from this situation before I did or said something I would regret, but there is nowhere to go. Well, almost nowhere. There's a bathroom, and a closet. They may need the former, so I just go into the latter, and shut the door. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingThe enemy of my enemy is my friend. Anyone who is a friend of my friend is a friend of mine. I have a lot of friends.
Story Quote"So if I suddenly came into $6 million, what would I do? I think it would be nice to take a year to see the world. I’d head out to the moon, or maybe off to Mars, or maybe just jump in a private jet and take a couple of sweet helicopter rides." #botner #fishquotes
23
Mind of DaltonThis is unlike the other portals. Those instantly took him right to where he was going, but with this one, he keeps falling. Colors and electricity swirl around him, and over his body. Or rather they move across the body he's possessing, and he is losing control. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI'm back in the closet now, ha-ha-ha. Though, I technically never came out of the closet. I just teleported out of it one day years ago, and didn't tell anyone about it. I half expect the couple to come apologize, but it's nothing but silence. Eerie silence. #QuarantineforThree
Nanostory"I said five camels! That's four camels! Now one of us isn't gonna get a camel. Sorry, Short Round; it looks like you're sitting this one out. Or, standing, as it were." #reciteamoviequotefrommemory
Story Quote"I think to myself for a moment and rush over to my room… I see that my body has disappeared. I sense something of course, but I had never suspected this… I race through the dark building into the grass field where everyone has been getting slaughtered." #botner #fishquotes
24
Mind of DaltonDalton can feel his consciousness being peeled away from the body he was borrowing, like tape that really doesn't want to come off. Once separated, they drift away from each other, the body to one exit portal, and Dalton's mind to another, where it finds a new home. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall asleep in that closet, and wake up to a ruckus outside the door. I'm too scared to open it at first, but then I hear a choking sound, and know that I have to. Irekenn is squeezing the life out of Naledi. I have no idea why, but I have to stop it anyway. #QuarantineforThree
Total LieI keep thinking I'm gonna have time to finish my chores, but then the girl in the back of my trunk kicks the taillight out again, and that takes up the rest of my day.
Story Quote"I still do that sometimes, but they let me now. I went with them when they went to visit my granny and the park she lives near. I wanted to go home with them but they wouldn’t let me, so I waited for them at the house. I got my mom’s last bite of chicken." #botner #fishquotes
25
Mind of DaltonDalton finds himself in a huge crowd of people. They're all smiling and laughing, so he doesn't feel like he's in any danger. Something bad might be coming, or none of this was planned, and he just ended up in this body randomly. It appears to be someone's wedding. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIrekenn, breathing heavy and drooling with rage, lets go of his wife's body before I can get to them. "It's done," he says. "Your turn." He's much larger than me, so I know I have no chance. As he's lunging for me, I grab the lamp, and bash it over his head. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI had an affair with my wife.
Story Quote"If so, I’d like to give a heartfelt thanks. A big red heart to go with it. It’s very warming. I’m amused. This post reminded me a lot of something that happened to my sisters and me when we were very young. We got a kitten when we were maybe two or three." #botner #fishquotes
26
Mind of DaltonDalton notices some people walking around wearing hooded robes, and avoiding eye contact. He can't help but ask the nearest person why. She tells him that—whoever they are—their presence could potentially disrupt the timeline, and that it's best no one sees them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIn the movies, a lamp will always shatter, and the person who was hit just stumbles a little. This thing is strong, though, and heavy. Irekenn trips, and knocks his head on the bedpost. Blood spills out of it like a tipped over cup. I'm horrified, and frozen. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”There are actually only four stages of grief: passive acknowledgement, eating, sleeping, and moving on with your life. This may only apply to sociopaths like me.
Story Quote"I've bought things that deter rodents, and I put small amounts of poison in the walls and floors. It's always the same: for three weeks, they are gone. Three weeks. Then they come back. The wads of mouse poop in the utility room? I've never seen that before." #botner #fishquotes
27
Mind of DaltonAs Dalton is wondering whose body he's possessing, and whether he too should be wearing a robe—or if anyone here will recognize him as an imposter, just like The Cleanser did—one of the robed people approaches him, and speaks in a whisper, asking him to step away. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe door opens, and a man in a mask and face shield—but no hazmat suit—steps in. "How many people are in this room?" he asks me. "Both dead, and alive?" // "Four," I answer him. // He shakes his head. "No. Irekenn's wife died two years ago. He murdered her." #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingIt looks like the cat's out of the bag. Let's test the idea that there's more than one way to skin it.
Story Quote"Lowell and I step back down, and jump to a different part of the body. The egress technician says nothing, but gestures for us to leave the room. It’s clear that we’re meant to follow the hallway lights, which lead us to a beautiful botanical garden." #darningwars #fishquotes
28
Mind of DaltonThe robed person escorts Dalton underneath the seats, and removes her hood, explaining that she's an alternate version of herself. He doesn't know who she is, or what she's talking about, and it seems to show, because she starts to grow suspicious of him. He's been made. Again.
Quarantine for Three"What are you talking about?" I question. "I'm looking at Naledi's body right now." // "The virus brings back dead people, but only as hallucinations. We think it has to do with guilt. Come. We need to figure out why you can see other people's hallucinations." #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Dorothy had straight friends too.
Story Quote"People were waiting in line for their turn at a booth, where someone was handing out hooded robes, but that wasn’t the weird part. They were already obscured, as if they were paintings, and someone had carelessly wiped their faces off with the charcoal." #salmonverse #fishquotes

March 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
McQuaela The SprinterMy name is McQuaela Causey, and this is the story of how God both made me a runner, and made it so that I hated running. I've never wanted a superpower, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted one that involved exercise, but these are the cards that I was dealt. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI'm in an underground bunker, which they built never thinking they would actually need it, but here we are. A virus has wiped out nearly all of humanity, and it was technically all my fault. I released the creature that carried the virus. And now only I can stop it. Seer of Death
“Joke”Here's a lie for ya. I'm gonna die one day.
Story Quote"What did we do, you ask? We shopped, we talked, we ate dinner, and we watched movies. We didn't actually get to do any of those things the whole time, but what we did do was talk for hours and hours on end. It was nice to reconnect after all these years." #botner #fishquotes
2
McQuaela The SprinterIt started in gym class. I was a freshman, so of course I had run before. I don't know what changed, but I figure it had something to do with puberty. I'm slowly rounding the track with all the other kids who don't care about it when a bully pissed me off. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAs some authority figure is escorting me, he explains why he pulled me from the isolation room. "The idiots who brought you in didn't immediately tell us that you lived in the house right where the virus originated. Had I known, I would have handled it differently." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”It will be so amazing when we finally cure #COVID19, and it will undo all the bad things that happened over the last year. All the people who died from it will come back to life, all the racist cops will go back to not being racist. It will be awesome, just you wait. #coronavirus
Story Quote"I mean, it’s genetic, right? He knows everything about me, because, right after we met, he dug deep into my past, and I was too afraid to tell him my full name, or where I went to high school or if I ever drank vodka in my bedroom as a teenager." #botner #fishquotes
3
McQuaela The SprinterHe said something gross about my breasts, which are notably large, and I guess not in a good way; not to him. He's an athlete, so after his quip, he was able to bolt off before I could retaliate. Well, just because I hate running doesn't mean I can't do it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't live in that house," I say. "I was trapped." I sigh, not wanting to tell the truth, but feeling compelled. "I found an evil creature living there, and had to trick him into going into the sunlight, or he would kill me. It worked, but then I took his place." Seer of Death
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "The terrorists are almost through the wall. Is there a back way out of here?" // Me: "Yeah, it's in the front."
Story Quote"In fact, there are four people who are sure to come. I have no clue as to who else was invited. At least, I didn’t think so until after I had left. Maybe those four won’t show up. Maybe they weren’t invited. Maybe they don’t know that there’s a party!" #botner #fishquotes
4
McQuaela The SprinterI leave the other slackers in the dust, and start overtaking the bully's lead. I shout for him to come back, which I shouldn't have, because it alerts him to the fact that I'm chasing after him. He's picking up speed. That's fine, though, I can do that too. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe man stops, and gives me a look. He doesn't say anything for a while. "Tell me everything. Tell me before we go in there…and I'll tell you what you should tell them. You won't be able to help us if they get distracted by the blame game." // So I expound my story. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. DO NOT TRY TO LOOK AT IT WITH YOUR BUTT.
Story Quote"He left to go talk to them and I got mad because I was supposed to tell them before they moved. I went to go talk to them and found that they had moved and I wasn't invited to the wedding. My fiancé was there though. He was not at the wedding. I was so mad." #botner #fishquotes
5
McQuaela The SprinterI'm making a huge scene, and I start to get the sense that everyone is watching us. The coach is matching my volume, trying to quell whatever is happening between us. It is not she who puts a stop to it, though. It's me. It's me, and whatever it is that I am. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Okay," the man says. "Let me do the talking. You'll just screw it up." He reaches for the last door, but stops. "I should probably tell you that my name is Rolio Canard." // I balk. I know that name. That is the name of a fictional character…MY fictional character. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I was a doctor in high school.
Story Quote"My mind is blank, and the thoughts that have been swirling around in there since I decided to leave, now seem to have no connections to each other or the outside world. I can’t think of what to do next, or how to move forward. I feel adrift, rudderless." #botner #fishquotes
6
McQuaela The SprinterI feel a sort of rippling heat overcome my body, from my toes, all the way up to my head. My vision blurs for half a second, and when my sight returns, everyone is gone. I'm still on the high school track, but no one else is here. It's also a little darker. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWhat you have to understand about me is that I'm not really a fiction writer. All of the stories I tell are real; they just mostly happened in other universes, and other planets. Rolio Canard should not be here. It's not impossible, but I never knew he came to Earth. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Banana? Mine doesn't look like a banana. Should it look like a banana?
Story Quote"Just then, we hear a rustling in the bushes. It could be some kind of alien rabbit, or a person, and if it’s a person, it could be an ally, or an enemy. They stop talking, but don’t approach. They just wait patiently. Finally, a figure appears. It’s me." #darningwars #fishquotes
7
McQuaela The SprinterI jiggle my head, hoping this illusion goes away, but of course, it doesn't. The twilight still hangs over the empty field. Well, it's not quite empty. A figure approaches from the shadows, slowly and calmly, but not menacingly. I don't think I should run. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThere's no one in the world named Rolio Canard, and I've not actually publicized the name, so unless he randomly hacked my cloud account, there's kind of no way this isn't the real Rolio. I have no more time to question it, though. We're in the room where it happens. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My body is a temple, which is why I like to go inside every once in awhile to angrily flip the tables over, and throw out all the merchants and money changers, like Jesus did that one time.
Story Quote"They grew quite used to ignoring temporal ethics while they weren't in control of their own actions, but now it was up to them to decide. Was it right to let the team adapt this advanced technology to their own world? What did the Prime Directive say?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
8
McQuaela The SprinterThe dying light hits an unfamiliar face, but I still don't think I should run, and not only because I don't know what will happen if I do. He introduces himself as The Gravedigger, but promises that it's not a serial killer moniker. He literally digs graves. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathA group of people are spread around a large table. They sit far from each other, wearing both masks and face shields. People in hazmat suits line the walls; presumably the assistants. They look at me with very serious faces. I don't feel like I should even breathe. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryLeer cheating is when you leer at someone outside of your relationship. It doesn't have to be a cheerleader, but it would be nice. Lear cheating is when you watch a play other than King Lear. Cher leading is when you show Cher where to go.
Story Quote"It sounds silly, but if you want to know how to do something or say something—as opposed to waiting for a deadline and learning a new vocabulary—at your school, I can talk you through how to get started. And because I know a lot of people, I can get started." #botner #fishquotes
9
McQuaela The SprinterThe Gravedigger—whose real name is Halifax—apologizes for the way I discovered my time travel ability, saying that most do it in private on instinct. I didn't know that I traveled through time, but I was really starting to suspect, due to all the evidence. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Open the blast doors," Rolio commands. One of the hazmat suiters presses a button on the wall, which reveals a window to another room. Two young boys are sitting at a wee table. "What can you tell me about the people in this room?" he asks me. "How many are there?" #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI need ten CCs of knowing what CCs are!
Story Quote"The violent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado has become the final straw in a series of extremely divisive and emotionally charged social debates, from gun control to the treatment of those with mental illnesses. Let me be very clear, and as informed as possible." #botner #fishquotes
10
McQuaela The SprinterWe continue talking. He explains what I am. I was born with this ability, but no one really knows how it happens. It seems to be genetic in a general sense, but not a hereditary trait that I got from my parents. They probably have no idea that I'm like this. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI start describing the boys. One has lighter hair, and the other keep scratching at the back of his neck. Obviously only one of them is real, and no one else here can see the other. One of the men at the table opens a folder, revealing a picture of the hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”You can't die in a racecar. It's physically impossible.
Story Quote"There’s a plate holder. It’s hard to make out the rest because the back part's missing. I’m very disappointed to find out that it’s not just some kind of joke. I’m so excited! Did someone send me a gift? Can I open it now? Can I say thank you? Can I wear it?" #botner #fishquotes
11
McQuaela The SprinterI ask Halifax how far back in time I went, and he says that I actually went forward over ten years. I've been missing for ten years!? He says that might not be true. I may be destined to return to my time at some point, but that's up to me. I get to choose. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe one scratching at his back isn't real. The other one is just imagining him. "Do they all end in death?" I ask. "Does everyone kill their own hallucinations?" // "Not that we've found," a man in a military uniform answers. "They do seem to argue a lot, though." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I need the money to found a special school in New York where students can learn how to act like animals. I can teach them dog tricks, and bird calls, and cat skills.
Story Quote"It’s possible that this is an isolated incident. But some security experts are skeptical. 'The notion that it’s really easy for hackers to break into my account if I type in this correct password…is dubious,' says Randy Abrams, security specialist." #botner #fishquotes
12
McQuaela The SprinterI think about the prospect for a moment. If I really am a traveler, then there should be no big rush to return to my old life. What if it happens again? How does it work? How can I control it? How far can I jump? Or run, as it were. I need to practice first. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI must say, all these people are taking it well that I appear to have some ability to see other people's hallucinations. I have a character who can do this. His name is Verner Holt, and you'll notice that that's not my name. I don't understand what's happening to me. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryMy wife is on Bumble and I'm on Tinder. We somehow got matched to each other in this glitchy modern version on The Piñacolada Song.
Story Quote"There are no instruments, and no radio. I’m just hoping for the best. There is nothing more terrifying than taking over an airplane by yourself. I could attempt to write something to make you feel better about it, but I’m sure I would fail miserably." #botner #fishquotes
13
McQuaela The SprinterI ask him for help figuring all this out when he tries to leave. He apologizes, but it's not his position to help someone like me. For a second, I think he's being racist, but then it passes, because I'm pretty sure it's just some kind of time travel rule. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Bring in the next subject," another military man demands." A hazmat suiter shuffles the boy away. The other doesn't follow, but once the boy exits the room, he can't exist in there anymore, so he disappears in a puff of smoke. It's more than just a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Me when I'm trying to figure out how to upload a GIF to twitter:
Story Quote"I turn my attention to Pryce. He regards me politely, but like he has a magic bullet in his arsenal, and he knows his argument wins, regardless of what I say. He’s just waiting for his moment to drop the mic and ruin my whole day. I have to preempt him." #darningwars #fishquotes
14
McQuaela The SprinterAll he tells me is that the faster I run, the further through time I can go. There's obviously a limit to it, and I'm immediately aware that I can't go back to dinosaur times, because I only jumped ten years the first time, and was already going pretty fast. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThey start sending test subjects into the other room one by one so I can continue to prove my abilities. By the time it's over, I realize that they'll want to study me next; with scans, needles, and maybe even knives. Well…I guess they oughta do what they gotta do. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingHow do I train my eyes to focus exclusively on the subatomic particles that are floating in front of my face?
Story Quote"The bliss wore off over time, or at least lessened in intensity, but his sense of completeness remained. The constant carefree attitude would have gotten on people’s nerves, so this was a good balance. Now, all of it was—hopefully only temporarily—gone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
15
McQuaela The SprinterI'm about to start running, to figure out exactly what triggers it, when I realize I'm not in a safe place. Just because people already saw me disappear ten years ago, doesn't mean I should keep revealing my secret. I have to find a remote spot to practice. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathNext, they bring in a group of subjects, and expect me to determine which ones are real, and which are hallucinations. I've gotten much better at seeing the signs since Naledi in the isolation room, so I start pointing out the real people, I'm right on all counts.# SeerofDeath
Fake ConversationI was trying to eat my muffin when my dog, Daisy stood up from her bed, and said, "I want the chocolate!" So I yelled back, "you can't handle the chocolate!" Just kidding. I gave it to her.
Story Quote"I just hope it's a short term thing. And, that it doesn't affect my job, because I really like my job. Yesterday I went for my 28 week check up. I had asked about my nausea since I noticed that it seemed to be lessening, as well as my food aversions." #botner #fishquotes
16
McQuaela The SprinterOf course, I don't have access to a car, but the high school is kind of on the edge of the city, so I shouldn't have to walk too far to get away from civilization. I take the opportunity to reflect on the life I missed, and wonder what became of my family. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathUntil now, it was unclear who was in charge. I didn't think Rolio, and everyone seemed pretty equal here. The truth becomes apparent when a woman in a pantsuit stands up. "I've seen enough. I think we all realize what must happen next." Yes, the needles and knives. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Am I tired of you asking questions, and then immediately answering them yourself? Yes.
Story Quote"I know how hard it is for a TOTALLY BOY to kiss a GIRL. (That’s how I refer to myself to my own friends). I can get just about ANYTHING ELSE done, much to Celeste’s chagrin, but kissing is the one thing that I just can’t manage. So I back off a little." #botner #fishquotes
17
McQuaela The SprinterI am so lost in my own head—worrying about fate and destiny, and if I'll ever end up going back home, or not—that I barely notice in time that I'm about to trip over something. No, it's a someONE. The only question now is whether he's just sleeping…or dead. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathRolio regards me uncomfortably. "It's okay." I say, before turning to address the group. "If you can find a way to experiment on me without killing me, though, that would be lovely." // "I make no guarantees," the leader says with the cold detachment that she needs to survive.
Fake ConversationMe: "Alexa, what's on my schedule today?" // @Alexa99: "Nothing is on your schedule. You are a loser."
Story Quote"'Boring,' the soldier says. 'She’s a slut. Why do you think you had to go so far as to run away?' He turns my head so he can see my eyes. 'Shut up, kid. You really have no sense of shame at all, do you? I don’t like these questions either, you know that.'" #botner #fishquotes
18
McQuaela The SprinterBefore I can check him for a pulse, he gets up, drunk and stumbling around. Trying to keep his eyes on me just makes it harder for him to regain balance. His reluctance to set down his bottle makes it even harder. Finally, he's upright, and he recognizes me. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWith no further instruction, the hazmat assistants carefully escort me down the passageways. They get me cleaned up, and let me rest for the night. A doctor comes in to tell me that the experiments will begin tomorrow. But there's no tomorrow when you're underground. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI spent seven months in Antarctica, studying the effects extreme cold weather has on dead bodies. I wasn't meant to be studying that, but my team was really pissing me off, so I altered the plans.
Story Quote"She laughs. 'You will help me. You have to.' // At the beginning, I was confused by the entire experience. I felt both privileged and like a fraud to be part of it. Then I remembered my PhD and the structure of the experiment that I had been part of." #botner #fishquotes
19
McQuaela The SprinterHe cries my name, and starts ranting about how his life was ruined, but that he doesn't blame me. He knows someone took me, and it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't HIS fault, and he's just glad that I'm back. Yep. These are the consequences of my disappearance. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAn alarm wakes me up in the middle of a cycle. I'm groggy and confused, and can't stand up straight. I'm grasping at the walls, looking for the lightswitch, when the door opens. I was on the wrong wall. Rolio and a man come into the room. "There's been an outbreak." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingSounds like a lot of fun, I don't wanna do any of that.
Story Quote"I wanted to be me. I got a job in entertainment instead. The job: I work for myself as a freelance illustrator and designer. I do graphic design work, print advertising for corporate clients, and offer art consulting for print and web-based businesses." #botner #fishquotes
20
McQuaela The SprinterI realize that this is the jerk who insulted me on the track. Well, I shouldn't call him a jerk. For me, only moments have passed, but it was ten years ago for him. I shouldn't judge him without knowing him. That's what he did to me, and I'm better than that. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"When this many hallucinations get together, things get bad," the other man explains. "The agitation we cause real people compounds, and makes everything so much worse. Fights break out, people get hurt." How odd, this hallucination calling himself a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My house is zombie proof. I keep a lot of zombies there, so it's proof that they exist.
Story Quote"What he said before was right. Rules are necessary, even when they seem cruel or wrong. I don’t think I misjudged his character, but I’m already starting to see the reasoning behind some of his decisions. The crown is on my head now…and it’s heavy. " #darningwars #fishquotes
21
McQuaela The SprinterI tell him it's okay, that he didn't have anything to do with my disappearance. I ran off on my own to start a new life, and I hold no grudges. Again, the incident just happened to me, but I'm going to have to most past it, because he would never understand. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's not safe here anymore," Rolio adds. "As I'm not an Earthan human, the virus affects me differently. I maintain a little more control over my faculties. As you can see, the husband I left in a lost future is still here, but we're both aware of what's happening." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI always leave the toothpick where it is in my sandwich. It keeps it held together nicely, and it tastes good. You would think the mint toothpicks would make it better, but no, not in a sandwich.
Story Quote"It bounced against walls and tables and chairs, eventually ending up kind of heading back towards her, but not really. She reached out and caught it with ease, and without even ever looking at it, like a real life superhero. It was honestly pretty hot." #salmonverse #fishquotes
22
McQuaela The SprinterHe finally lets go of his bottle, and rubs his eyes so he can get a better look at me. He grabs a canteen, and splashes water in his face to get an even better look. He points out that I haven't aged a day, but he's still drunk, so he can't trust his eyes. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's nice to meet you, just the same," I say to the husband. // "Likewise, now let's go." We leave to navigate the field of angry infected, caught up in their own delusions. A real boy notices Rolio, and decides to attack him directly. His husband fights back. How? #SeerofDeath
NanostorySometimes I think I can feel the electricity surging through my body every time the cops shoot me with their tasers because I keep killing terrorists without authorization. But then I'm like, "nah, that's not possible". You can't feel electricity.
Story Quote"I’d be okay with the fact that I don’t remember the woman’s face, but I do remember her voice. She used to sound kind of annoying…but now she sounds like an angel. I’ll call you tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow, Ms. Bailey. Goodbye. RIP Ms. Bailey." #botner #fishquotes
23
McQuaela The SprinterHe doesn't believe me, and claims he's not as drunk as I think. He's apparently mostly just sleepy, but now he's waking up. He insists that I haven't aged, and sixteen to twenty-six is too big of a gap for me to try to make up some BS about good skin cream. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathHow is it possible that this hallucination is making physical contact with a real person—one who's not even capable of seeing him in the first place? They both seem as confused as I am, but there is no time to discuss. The mob is growing angrier, and more violent. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhenever my husband comes home from the late shift, I don't want to make him think I don't want to talk to him, but I'm usually really tired, so I pretend to be awake.
Story Quote"I was basically incapacitated. I was barely able to stand or walk. But every time I went to the store, or a restaurant, I told people I was a military veteran. That was all I could remember—how to tell people I was in the military and that I had been hurt." #botner #fishquotes
24
McQuaela The SprinterHe's relentless, thinking I must be an alien, or a vampire, but he assures me he's fine with it. He just wants to know the truth, he thinks he's owed that much. I have to get out of here. I'm sick of hearing his conspiracies, even if they aren't unwarranted. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe infected come upon us like a swam. They're attracted to us now, for they know we're different. The people know I can see their hallucinations, and the hallucinations know it too. There's no way out. No door, no air vent. All I can do is scream, "everybody stop!" #SeerofDeath
Savage CriticismI'm the one who bought @jack's first tweet as an NFT for $2.9 mil. because I'm a loser. I'm joking about being the one who bought it, but not about the buyer being a loser. You could use your money to help end starvation and homelessness, but no…you chose to spend it on NOTHING.
Story Quote"There’s a web of tiny clear water drops suspended in the air in the kitchen // There are tiny strands of electric current floating in the air // Between my hands and the lights // It’s raining inside my house, and I can’t turn it off." #botner #fishquotes #fishpoetry #poetry
25
McQuaela The SprinterWith no warning, I just take off. Surely he won't chase me, and even if he does, he won't be able to keep up, because he's still drunk, no matter what he says. I'm wrong. I can feel him nipping at my heels. Whatever, I can go where he can't follow: the past. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathTo my surprise, everybody stops. The hallucinations, the real people. They all stare at me, like soldiers waiting for orders. Even Rolio and his husband appear to bend to my words. I'm more powerful than anyone could have guessed. I can stop this. I can cure them. #SeerofDeath
Good JokeThe Five Worst Websites Called @screenrant (and Five Tired and Formulaic Websites That Are Also Called Screen Rant)
Story Quote"A kid shivering in the woods, not knowing what happened to him, unable to tell me anything about it? I wondered if his mother had made him write that story. That was the only reason a six-year-old boy would lie to his mom. He wasn’t telling the truth." #botner #fishquotes
26
McQuaela The SprinterJust like before, a rippling heat overwhelms my body, clouds my vision, and sends me through the timestream. I slow down to catch my breath. He catches up to me, and does the same. Wait, what? The sun's out, it should be the past. How could he have followed? #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Back up," I order. Everyone backs away from me. I guess I could imagine being able to control hallucinations, but the fact that the regular people are just as susceptible to my demands is bizarre, and truthfully unsettling. I must take care not to abuse this power. #SeerofDeath
Spec ScriptEXT. POOP PLANET - TOMORROW // Major Spaceswords is here. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: Yeah, poop. // Darth Lollipop walks over from the moon. // DARTH LOLLIPOP: I'm here to kill your sword. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: But first…we juggle. // CUT TO BLACK. SUPER: THREE SECONDS EARLIER.
Story Quote"I’m seeing power in objects around me that wasn’t there before, and my curse is helping it happen. It’s getting harder to hide. I’m only hiding myself because it’s safer than talking to my neighbors, who think I’m a dangerous psychopath. Even though I’m not." #botner #fishquotes
27
McQuaela The SprinterThe drunk bully says he saw the fire emanating from me as I was running, and that he was close enough for it to consume him too, but he felt like he was dying, so I'm worried if we try again, something will go wrong. I can't have his death on my conscience. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Everyone go back to your rooms," I continue. "Stay there, and relax. Drink when you're thirsty, eat when you're hungry, use the toilet when necessary, and wash your hands regularly. Do not commit violence, wait for instructions, and most importantly, don't panic." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Ugh, that was my gynecologist. It turns out that I'm eight months pregnant. Give me another drink.
Story Quote"Pryce left many things that I will need to learn, but they’re not organized, because he never planned on stepping down. 'I’m afraid—and I hope not to lose your confidence for it, but—I don’t know what that is.' // 'We don’t either,' the woman explains." #darningwars #fishquotes
28
McQuaela The SprinterFortunately, we are still alone, even though it's the middle of the day. We decide to get more information about when we are. I ran about as fast as last time, but I don't know how sensitive the time difference is, or what. We search for a newspaper kiosk. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Rolio, and…" Damn, I never caught his name. "…Rolio's husband, stay back, so we can talk." They follow me to an empty storage room. "First of all, what is your name?" // "Finn Hasenkamp," he answers, in a monotone that makes it clear he is still under my spell. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI owe a lot of money to a lot of giant anteater monsters. What are they gonna do with all that platinum, you think?
Story Quote"When he first started jumping forwards in time, Mateo realized he would have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. This truth has held despite the fact that half his friends are time travelers, and the other half are immortal. Everyone leaves eventually." #salmonverse #fishquotes
29
McQuaela The SprinterBefore we find a newspaper, we come across a bank with one of those electronic signs by the sidewalk. It's showing us the temperature, but then it changes. March 29, 2021. We jumped another eleven years. For those keeping track, that's twenty-one years total. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Uhhhhh…at ease, soldiers." // It's not a real magical password, but it's enough to get my sentiment across. Rolio and Finn break free from my control, and return to themselves. "That was…" // "Painful?" I suggest, assuming the worst. // "Euphoric," Rolio corrects. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryThese are my mothers from another brother. If you think that sounds funny, you're not woke enough.
Story Quote"All those children that died are haunting me…some are still alive but more haunting than others. I am screaming again, running around and kicking and screaming like a wild animal. But no matter what I do, I am only making myself even more nervous." #botner #fishquotes
30
McQuaela The SprinterI apologize for getting him into this, and promise that I'll figure out how to get us home. I just need to understand why it is I always jump forward, even when I'm trying to go to the past. It would be foolish to try again without knowing how to control it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"How do I control myself?" I ask. "Being able to manipulate infected people isn't what's going to save their lives. Sure, I can stop them from killing each other—as long as it doesn't wear off at some point—but that doesn't actually solve our problem. It is no cure." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingEric Bal IV.
Story Quote"And I can see that in the corner of the room I’ve been sleeping on for the last two days. 'What the hell do you think you’re doing, you dirty rat?' // I open my eyes and recognize the voice coming from my left. I look to the floor, then quickly look up." #botner #fishquotes
31
McQuaela The SprinterHe takes a look at the world around us, and smiles. He tells me his slate's been wiped clean, and that we have both been long declared dead by now. Perhaps this is the best place for both of us, where we can start fresh. I'm not so sure he's wrong. Not yet. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't get a chance to tell you," Rolio begins. "You can't pass the virus on to other people. You're not a carrier, so you can move about freely. That presents an opportunity." // "An opportunity to do what?" I ask. // "To stop all of this before it even happens." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhen I was in driver's ed, I learned the 'ant technique'. Basically, it means that I drive down the center going however fast I want, while oncoming traffic drives on either side of me. If you knew anything about ants, you wouldn't be like, "why is it called the 'ant technique'?"
Story Quote"Would I take up that trade for the rest of my life? No…don’t want that life. The world needs more good guys like me, like everyone, not more killers. I will never end my life…if the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I will be a happy man." #botner #fishquotes

April 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Death of DaltonFor the last however long—by other people's control—I've been jumping through time, inhabiting OTHER people's bodies, and helping each of them get through an obstacle that is just a little bit too hard. But now it's all about to end. This is the story of my death. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI've been through a lot. I escaped from a magical castle, was immediately sent to a quarantine bunker for a virus I accidentally released, suffered the effects of infected people's hallucinations, and discovered that I may be the only one who can stop it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”You know what the difference between sardines and anchovies is? Well, for one, they're different animals. What more do you need, a taxanomical analysis? Why did you ask me this question?
Story Quote"I wish I could get away with having her sneak into my room to sleep on my bed with me, but the neighbors think my mom is the meanest mom in the world, so she’s locked in the living room with the remote control and her knitting needles to prove that point." #botner #fishquotes
2
Death of DaltonOf course, I didn't know I was going to die until it was too late. Let's go back to the moment that I only now realize was the turning point. The powers that be usually decide whose body I'll possess, but sometimes they give me a choice. This is one of those times. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRecently, I've met a character from my stories whose presence on Earth isn't something I knew, or makes any sense. He also happens to be a time traveler, and it seems he thinks he can prevent most of the horror by jumping back in time. But it won't be easy. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI'm a phagovore. I only eat eaters, so plants are the only living things that are safe from me.
Story Quote"I hate being alone. I hate swimming back up to the surface. I lie here in the water, thinking. I’m still alone. I can’t escape. I have to swim back, but I’m not brave. Maybe swimming around for hours is the stupidest thing ever, but I have no choice." #botner #fishquotes
3
Death of DaltonThe PTB have different ways of presenting me with my choices. It may look like Stonehenge, or just portals in the middle of a field. This time, it's a literal crossroads. I can turn left or right. I could theoretically turn back, but I don't sincerely consider it. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningHe seems to believe it's okay since I'm not a carrier of the virus, but I don't know how he knows that. "How do you know that?" I question. // "You don't remember them taking blood when you first arrived?" Uhhh…no." That never happened. // "Well, they did." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I am not a hypocrite! I said I only liked nice people! I never said that I liked myself, you frickin' idiot!
Story Quote"He points to the exit. 'That door will not open without a whitecard for every passenger…or the gearkey.' // 'Oh, the gearkey?' I say. 'Well, I have that.' I reach into my bag, and present him with the physical version of the gear that Pryce left me." #darningwars #fishquotes
4
Death of DaltonForward is different. I see a looming darkness, almost pulsating in the distance. Every fiber of my being is telling me I should go right or left, and never go towards the darkness. So obviously, I do. My fear doesn't control me, but my curiosity does. Always has. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI'm having a hard time believing him, but I desperately want to get out of here, and if I really can stop this virus from even taking hold of our world, then it's my responsibility to try everything I can. More to the point, it would be irresponsible not to. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Alarms are male sirens.
Story Quote"Her brain blending ability worked by allowing her to transfer memories from a potential reality to the real one—or theoretically from some other point in space time to the present—which meant that the memories had to have reasonable realistic potential." #salmonverse #fishquotes
5
Death of DaltonI don't have to reach this darkness. As soon as I step foot between the corners of the intersection, I have declared my intentions to go this direction. Everything around me starts to fade away, and is replaced with blobs of water, which threaten to overtake me. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Okay," I say, "let's go." // "I can't go," Rolio tells me. "I'm positive. I would just infect everyone in the past." // "Can I even go without you? Your version of time travel isn't exactly conventional. I've never even heard of you doing it with others." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI remember first learning about gay people when I was young. I was horrified. It's positively disgusting, what those people do. Ya know what, I'm confused. I'm actually thinking of when I learned how Republicans systematically dismiss and mistreat this nation's disenfranchised.
Story Quote"That monster, he even showed himself on stage before they stabbed him. We saw evil things dragging him by the back of his neck. Then he cried out, he was crying for his mother, and then darkness. The only darkness we will see, because evil lives on." #botner #fishquotes
6
Death of DaltonThese water blobs expand as they shoot across the sky. One of them nearly hits me in the face. I realize that time is moving at a wonky pace, slowing down and speeding up, possibly randomly. The water isn't in blobs, that's just how it looks from this perspective. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"If I'm in an enclosed space—which shouldn't be too hard to find down here—I can redirect the temporal energy somewhere else," Rolio explains. "I can redirect it to you." What he doesn't say is how much it hurts. He doesn't need to anyway, I already know. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Okay, we should be good. At this point, we've had over a year to practice social distancing. You would think we would have it down by now, and can stop practicing, but they just keep saying we should. I've been a professional social distancer for years, what's taking you so long?
Story Quote"My eyes fly open wide. 'You look wonderful,' he tells me, smiling. 'You know, you’re probably in the best shape of your life.' I grab the envelope. 'It's a one-time offer,' he tells me. 'Sign it.' // I nod silently and take a deep breath. 'So…'" #botner #fishquotes
7
Death of DaltonOnce the blobs have successfully overwhelmed the area, so that they are all I see, they burst, and mix with each other, and then they fall upon me. The water is freezing, yes, but it's the pressure that really gets me. I'm suddenly too deep in the ocean too fast. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe don't say anything for a moment. "Are you okay to do this?" // "I can do it," I reply. "Let's go find a nook, or something." I feel bad leaving him in this future, but I know that's not how it works. This reality will collapse, and I'll create a new one. #ResetButtonBeginning
Tasteless JokeI need to tell you something. The day we found out your husband watched #AMillionLittleThings, I tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings. I got the call, and I just…spit the episode out into the sink. I've never tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings again, though, I promise.
Story Quote"I tell them I have no intention of feeling differently. I am moving around the crowd, feeling each one of their burdens. Many of them are traumatized, tortured by memories of events from their lives—of others they've hurt, of tragedies they've experienced." #botner #fishquotes
8
Death of DaltonWhile I'm drowning, my eyes adjust to the low light, and I realize I'm not just in water. I'm inside of something, maybe a wrecked ship. As I'm trying to locate which way is up, an arm appears before me, and sticks something in my mouth. I instinctively breathe in. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRolio already knows where the closest maintenance closet is. There's just enough room for him to gather his temporal energy, and evidently shoot me with it. We step in, and I watch him for the next few hours while he meditates and communes with the universe. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI gave away all of my worldly possessions, so I can move out to the woods. I want to live off the grid, and live off the land. Wait…OFF the land? Because I said off the gr—let's see, we can figure this out. I just need to look something up on my phone. Aw, shite.
Story Quote"My failure shows that the sort of interface to natural language processing researchers were designing has a long way to go. Fortunately, it’s something we’re only slowly developing. No matter. I have a few more strings to write." #botner #fishquotes
9
Death of DaltonThe scuba diver tucks me under his chest while I'm breathing through his extra tubey thing, and swims with his legs only. He takes us deeper into the ship, all the way into an old timey bathroom, where he starts to remove his clothing. I just float there patiently. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs time is nearing the end, I start to notice that his skin has turned redder, and is growing redder still. Sweat drips off him like a mesh bag of water. Steam rises from his body, and clouds the room, until all I can see is the torrid glow of a man on fire. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingI can see photons from a distance.
Story Quote"This third parent did not raise me, and does not concern itself with human affairs, and it is unclear what their intentions are in regards to us, if they’re even driven by anything beyond their instincts. They may not quite realize what they’re doing." #bulkstories #fishquotes
10
Death of DaltonOnce the diver is totally naked, he looks around like he can't find his keys. He spies a metal cup behind me, and gestures for me to get it for him. I do, still confused about what's going on. As soon as he touches it, the water disappears. The bathroom looks new. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI knew that this was how he time traveled, but I didn't know how deafening the process was. I don't mean there's such a loud sound that it hurts my ears, I mean it actually makes me deaf. I doubt it's permanent, but it is not impossible. It's almost over. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanonanostoryExperts believe that Jesus couldn't read. Time travelers know it.
Story Quote"I am as relaxed as Hogarth wanted me to be, and have relinquished all hostility I felt coming into the mission to remove Pryce from power. I do not forgive him for anything that he’s done, but it no longer consumes me. Who can be mad under a purple sky?" #darningwars #fishquotes
11
Death of DaltonI pant and struggle to catch my breath. Even though I was technically breathing through the scuba thing, it's not something I'm used to, and I'm glad to be back to regular air. The man smiles as he's opening his dry bag. "Hi, I'm Darko Matic, and you're in 1949." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe energy reaches critical mass, and then I see Rolio concentrate it into a ball in front of him like one might expect from a firebender. "Are you ready?!" he shouts. "It's gonna hurt like hell!" // "Just do it!" I scream. // He reaches back, and shoots. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Bones are just teeth that live inside your body.
Story Quote"They looked at him with a certain assumption. The obvious response was to let her do it, but it wasn’t necessarily the wisest choice. He wanted to survive, and to exist, and to be remembered, but there was a chance the sentiment was only a gut reaction." #salmonverse #fishquotes
12
Death of DaltonBefore I can respond, I catch my reflection in the mirror. I stare into it, and paw at my own cheeks. I never expected to see this face again. It's mine. I'm back in my body, or at least some version of it. It's been years since the last time, what does this mean? #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe temporal energy expands as it flies through the air, and sets me on fire. I can feel my skin burn and flake off. Ashy pieces float upwards, and disappear into the aether. I'm going back in time, little by little, and I'm watching myself die as I do it. #ResetButtonBeginning
LieLittle known factoid, I was a judge on #AmericanIdol in 2017.
Story Quote"The kayak didn’t turn into a human, but to understand the way this world works, that was absolutely not outside the realm of possibility. That’s why base modifications are so dangerous, because the rules and limitations are unclear, if any exist at all." #bulkstories #fishquotes
13
Death of DaltonWhile I'm in awe of having my own face back, I feel something cold press against my shoulder, and then a stinging pain. "Sorry about that," Darko says as he's injecting himself. "We just depressurized too fast. This will dissolve the nitrogen for us." // "Thanks." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Goodbye," Rolio whispers as my eyeballs dissolve. In an instant, I open them back up to find myself on the ground. The pain from the burning temporal energy isn't gone, but it's manageable. I sit up in search of a familiar point of reference from my past. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I've always thought it was really great how there are no bad people in the world.
Story Quote"They needed the best ship in the world. And they needed it to potentially endure a tidal wave or tsunami. Their next interim deadline was in seven years, which was important, because the hope was to support a certain percentage of a growing population." #bulkstories #fishquotes
14
Death of Dalton"Thanks," I say. "How did you know that I would be in the water?" // "I was gonna ask you the same thing," Darko says. "I thought you might be a tracker with really bad aim. But if you're salmon, I guess the powers that be wanted us to meet, for whatever reason." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningMy acute stress response is in overdrive. My brain doesn't know if there is any danger around, so it just assumes there is. I hear the crack of a stick nearby, and someone approaches. My heart races even faster, but then quiets when I see it's just Past!Me. #ResetButtonBeginning
Fake ConversationMe: "Okay, I shouldn't have called it a he. I don't know the sex of the sea otter. I don't even know how to sex sea otters, or how to sex any animal, for that matter. Well…other than humans." // My parole officer: "Could you please stop saying that word?" // Me: "What? Humans?"
Story Quote"Things took a turn for the worse near the beginning of the 21st century, when a dark organization rose from the shadows, and decided it was time they took over the United States. Their power was fleeting, but their impact was everlasting, and profound." #bulkstories #fishquotes
15
Death of Dalton"Well, anyway, thanks for saving my life. Sorry to take you away from your scuba diving." // "Nah, man," Darko says in a relaxed tone as he's starting to get dressed. "This is where I wanted to be. I came down here to get to this ship when it was still floating." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningPast!Me hands me a light jacket. "Wrap this around your waist." // "Appreciate it," I tell him. I wipe off a little ash, then cover up. // He waits patiently, then says—as per protocol—"report". // "It was 2021. Old reality collapsed. Co-existence possible." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryWhy do so many car insurance company commercials involve clients meeting with their agents in person? I've had the same agent for eleven years, and I've never met the man. His assistant sends me an automated birthday message every few months. That's it.
Story Quote"There is a reason that humans are a trinity of mind, body, and soul. All three are required to make a person. A mind alone is a computer, a body alone is a pile of viscera, and a soul alone is a ghost. None of them is meant to be without the other two." #bulkstories #fishquotes
16
Death of Dalton"Oh, is there something here that's really important? Some kind of valuable object that was destroyed when the ship sank?" // Darko laughs and straightens his tuxedo jacket. "I just wanna have a good time, and to work needlessly hard to get here. Thus, the scuba." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"How did you get here?" Past!Me questions. // "Irrelevant," I reply plainly. He's obligated to leave it at that. He doesn't need to know that Rolio Canard is real, and might be on Earth right now. I'm here to stop the future, not give anything away about it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Did you hear that noise? It sounded like an albatross. And my neck suddenly got really heavy. Did someone let an albatross in here? Who let the burden?
Story Quote"The first rule of probable reality is that any world that can be conceived—and whose consistent physical laws don’t countermine the laws that are true of every universe—can exist. Furthermore, if such a qualifying world IS conceived, then it WILL exist." #bulkstories #fishquotes
17
Death of DaltonA time traveling adrenaline junkie. I nod like I get it, but we have very different personalities. // With a sinister smile, he lifts a second tuxedo from his bag. "I don't know how long you've been a traveler, but you'll learn redundancy. You can wear the backup." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Come on," Past!Me says with a wave of his hand. "Let's go home, so we can figure how we're going to move on from here." // "You have two extra beds in this house, or just the one?" // Three beds, no job," he answers. "It's 2017." // "That will change soon." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Hey, mom! Today, we learned the four species of penguin! There's emperor, gentoo, barada, nikto.
Story Quote"He is wrong. The simulation has not been without a leader for the last sixty years. It found a leader in someone. The most likely suspect is Avatar!Pryce, but there are billions of other possibilities…hundreds of billions, if you count the Glisnians." #darningwars #fishquotes
18
Death of DaltonI shrug and change into the tuxedo. Though I am a traveler, I've only been to the pretty recent past. I generally stick to a couple decades on either side of the turn of the 21st century, and never made it anywhere near 1949. I wonder what people are really like. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningBefore my dog, I would take long walks to get healthy. Of course, I kept walking once she came into my life, but we stayed closer to home. I lost her when I became trapped in the castle, and the world ended. Now that future will never exist. SHE won't exist. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingLet's nearly all agree to start calling liars who are lying with lies, tigers who are tying with ties…just to screw with the one person we don't tell about it.
Story Quote"It was the Superintendent's doing. Her mourning period should have lasted weeks, if not longer, but that would have been a boring story to watch from the outside, so I used my creative license as a weapon, and simply skipped that part of the narrative." #salmonverse #fishquotes
19
Death of DaltonOne thing I didn't realize about my time traveling pattern is that, while it has no set time limit, all of my missions are brief. I never have extended periods of time to explore the timeline, and this characteristic holds, even though I have my original face back. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs he said, this is 2017, and a future version of me wasn't here back then, which means this is necessarily a new timeline. He's on an urban hike right now, because he doesn't have Daisy yet, and now he never will, because I stopped it. I went back too far. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingMoose laurels.
Story Quote"Upon learning more about their own genetic evolution, the humans of this Earth ended up uniting to form a singular society much earlier than other Earths. They recognized that diversity was a good thing, and a source of strength, rather than a weakness." #bulkstories #fishquotes
20
Death of DaltonI'm excited to enjoy myself, but alas, I do not meet the opportunity. As Darko and I step through the hatchway, we find ourselves on top of what appears to be a step pyramid. Before us is The Cleanser. Out of the three of us, he is the only one happy to be here. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe walk to his house quietly, but he can tell that I'm holding back a secret. "You don't have to tell me if it will negatively impact the timeline, but if it won't, I wanna know. Even if it's bad, it's always better to know." // "I ruined something for you." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryMy Parents Are In an Open Marriage and This is What it Feels Like to be Their Son. Chapter One. It's probably no different for me than it is for you. Do YOUR parents discuss with you all the sex they're having with just each other? That's what I thought. THE END.
Story Quote"They were willing to give Earth the benefit of the doubt, especially since they recognized it wasn’t the same Earth that they struggled against in their history. Unfortunately, it would seem that they sent the wrong man to make first contact with them." #bulkstories #fishquotes
21
Death of DaltonThe Cleanser notices me, and his smile turns upside down. "Why did you bring HIM?" // "He is with me," Darko explains. "Why did YOU bring ME?" // "I wanted to have a chat with my brother." // "That's your brother?" I question. // "We're more like distant cousins." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Someone was going to be born who can't be born now, because we're in a new timeline," I go on. // "They went over this in the movie About Time," Past!Me scolds. "You shouldn't have come back so far." // "It was beyond my control," I try to defend myself. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI have a lot of daydreams about a beautiful woman from the future coming back to save my life, because I'll one day be important, but then we realize either that the machine got the wrong date, or the wrong place, so I drop whatever I'm doing, and help her find the right guy.
Story Quote"They’re generally more independent, stronger-willed, and far more likely to make the informational breakthroughs that people with excelschians will come to take for granted. They’re the ones moving humanity forward, and advancing science and technology." #bulkstories #fishquotes
22
Death of Dalton"Timelines are crazy and complicated," Darko goes on. "He's related to an alternate version of me from a very old timeline—so not really me." // "I'm hurt, Brother Cousin," the Cleanser jokes. // "What do you want?" Darko questions. "We were on our way to a party." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"I'm not gonna ask who," Past!Me says, "but considering who I am, I can reasonably assume that it's not a human baby. We can get her back, but we're going to need help." // "You don't mean…" // "This is YOUR fault, so YOU'LL make the sacrifice," he demands. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingAziz Ansari says he's not sorry.
Story Quote"They’re called microrealities, and they pop up in case the true reality needs to use them, but they pop back out when they’re no longer needed, and the energy they used is transferred to new microrealities, which will in turn collapse soon thereafter." #bulkstories #fishquotes
23
Death of Dalton"You can always go to the party later," the Cleanser says. Most people would laugh at this, but as time travelers, it appears to be actually true. As we'll see, though, there is one thing that can prevent you from going back to what you missed. It's called death. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningHe's right. I did this, so I have to make the sacrifice. You see, even though my characters are real, I can't just call them up and ask for favors. I would be doing it all the time. It only works under extreme circumstances, and it comes at an extreme cost. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryMy grandfather was always off his rocker. I would come into the living room for a visit, and say, "grandpa, we got you this rocking chair, you should use it." Get it? Off his rocker? Anyway, he would always reply, "I can't sit there, that's where Abe Lincoln's ghost sleeps."
Story Quote"The first step is hard. The second step is just this side of utterly and hopelessly impossible. Very few people have the means to navigate the bulkverse. I can only do it mentally, and even then, I get lost a lot. It is simply not meant to be traveled." #bulkstories #fishquotes
24
Death of Dalton"I have a mission for you," the Cleanser goes on. "I've just been told something interesting about death, but as you know, I can't die, so I can't verify it myself." // "You want someone else to die, so they can tell you what's on the other side?" Darko guesses. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI have only communed with my characters three times. Once was with Rolio in the future, which has been undone in this new timeline I created. The first was less than three weeks ago now. The second time won't be until November of this year. I died each time. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random Nothing"I don't think, therefore I not am." --René Nightcartes
Story Quote"Like a great reset button that doesn't destroy anything, I repeat in my own head. It's a terrible choice, but if it's the only reasonable solution, then it will be what we do. We have to end the war, and if we can't do it through words, we'll force it." #darningwars #fishquotes
25
Death of Dalton"That is a terrible mission," I point out. "If whatever you think you've been told about death isn't true, Darko won't be able to come back and prove it either way." // "True," the Cleanser agrees, "which is why I'm not asking him to go through. I'm asking you." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Don't fret," Past!Me says. Though he's more like Present!Tavis. "You're not dying today. Based on how my life is right now, I doubt I'm getting the dog anytime soon." // "A little over a year." // He nods…and then I stay with him for a little over a year. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingGalapastops Islands.
Story Quote"Now alone, Serif stood up straight, and got a better look around. She knew everything she needed to know about this ship, but none of it felt familiar. It was like someone once told her all about it using pictures, but she hadn’t been here until now." #salmonverse #fishquotes
26
Death of DaltonThe Cleanser reaches up, and tries to grab me by the neck, but before I know it, Darko intervenes, and swiftly sends him to the ground. "You didn't want to speak to me, you brought us here for him. You're always lying." // "Don't get in the way of this, brother." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe time draws near when my dog, Daisy should be born. Only one person in the bulkverse can guarantee that she's born in this reality as well. Her nickname is The Conservator, though she's sometimes called The Extractor. But her real name is Arcadia Preston. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingMy email address is noreply@noreply.no.reply
Story Quote"You have to know that you’re capable of it, and truly believe in yourself, and the people around you have to believe. They have to believe in you, and in themselves, and convincing a significant enough population that it’s all real is a real challenge." #bulkstories #fishquotes
27
Death of Dalton"If you keep trying to attack him, I will keep pushing you back," my protector, Darko explains forcefully. // "Then I won't do it alone." The Cleanser removes a bunch of coins from his pocket, and throws them on the ground. Suddeny, there are dozens of Cleansers. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe best version of Arcadia becomes part of the crew of a machine called The Prototype, which travels to different universes, fighting against the armies of the Maramon. She's both capable of coming to Universe Prime, and will be the most willing to help us. #ResetButtonBeginning
Dirty JokeWhat do you call a female rooster? I think you know, and it's not chicken, or hen.
Story Quote"You keep prices low, treat your employees well, and give your day-old bread to the homeless. You’re not perfect, but on the whole, you’re a good person. Your alternate self will be just as bad as you are good—I mean, exactly as far from absolute zero." #bulkstories #fishquotes
28
Death of Dalton"We can all play the duplication game," Darko says, seething. He removes a small wooden duck from his bag, and sets it on the ground. Another version of Darko appears out of nowhere, now holding the duck himself. One of the Cleansers kicks the duck out of his hand. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe only way for us to summon a character to our world would be to simply write a story where that happens. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. This story has to be published, in one form or another. We can't just write it down, and wait for it to come true. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”If your going "to" be a great writer: like me-youre go…ing to have to learn how; to speel, and use punc'tuation, properly? Do you think you can! do that.
Story Quote"Everyone is so afraid of going against him that they follow his rules with little question. They know if they do something he doesn’t like, he’ll just wipe their story away. The Ochivari would never dream of invading, even though it’s a logical target." #bulkstories #fishquotes
29
Death of DaltonNow that the duck is too far away to be of any use to Darko as this weird time traveling beacon I don't understand, The Cleanser makes his move. Eight or nine of him hold the Darkos back, while three or four crowd around me, and push me off the edge of the pyramid. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"You write it," Present!Me orders. "I'll keep working on the main stories, but hand you the keys to our fiction Twitter account. Make it believable." // "I can do this," I promise him. // "You better. Daisy doesn't exist, but she's already important to me." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Whenever anyone says that they make their own luck, I imagine them chewing on grass several times over, and then pooping large patties of luck onto the ground.
Story Quote"What they have in common is that—within the confines of their respective universes—they’re isolated, and alone. Life will evolve on one planet at a time, and won’t evolve again until that one has long, long been extinct. Why is this the way things are?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
30
Death of DaltonHopeless to escape, I tumble through the air, and crash land on the next step down. I'm still alive, but I can't stop the momentum. I keep falling and falling, and bleeding and bleeding, until I land. Then, for some reason, I awaken in the middle of an urban war. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning and Bringing Back DaisySo I sit down, and start crafting a new story. It will last a month, but only be about 1400 words long. Arcadia Preston will have to come, because I decided. By the end of it, Daisy Quake Highfill will exist in this reality…and I won't. #ResetButtonBeginning #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I finally saw the movie #KnivesOut. It's crazy that I turned out to be the killer. I don't even remember doing it, but I saw it on screen.

May 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Time ClinicToday is my first day at a new job. I've always wanted to do something that really made a difference…that helped people. I just didn't think I was qualified. If I had known accidentally learning about time travelers would do it for me, I would have applied earlier. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia Preston wasn't a hero, in any timeline, so she didn't understand what she was doing here. Everyone here had a job. Ecrin was the captain, Ulinthra was the strategist. And Arcadia? As far as she could tell, the best word to describe it would be "mascot". #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”We have named our daughter Rachael Chyler Jennifer Jason Leigh Fisherman. Any one of those three women could be the mother. We honestly don't know which, but we've agreed to just all raise her together, in lieu of running a DNA test. Please respect our choice, and our privacy.
Story Quote"We walk between the boobs, some of us more distracted than others, and come to a door. This is where we find the armory. Ice picks, red axes, hock shanks, yellow hammers, green collars, plus keys, pink slips, a browncoat, and a big jar of gray smoke." #darningwars #fishquotes
2
Time ClinicI was walking home from my dumb regular job a few weeks ago. I liked to take a shortcut through an abandoned construction site, and I was glad for this that day after the top half of a man suddenly appeared next to me. The other half was on the other side of a wall. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThey didn't have any missions yet, but everyone else had something to do already. The medic was making a list of supplies he would need, the engineer was familiarizing himself with the machine. Arcadia was just sitting on her cot, not sad or upset, but useless. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I really want to win mother of the year this time. Now, I know I'm not a woman, or have any children, or plan on living here for more than a couple months, and I know the award doesn't really exist, and no one's reading this, and reality is a lie, but I think I deserve a shot.
Story Quote"Innocent was too strong of a word for a man like this to be swinging around recklessly. It was irrelevant that he was an alternate version. Someone who declared himself in charge of tens of billions of dead people—in any reality—could never be trusted." #salmonverse #fishquotes
3
Time ClinicI didn't know what I was seeing, but I had to act fast, or he would die. I remembered a sledgehammer leaning against the wall a few meters back, so I grabbed it, and started pounding on the concrete. He survived, and not to toot my own horn, but that's because of me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyCaptain Cabral came in unannounced. "All right, I finally have it here." // "Have what?" Arcadia asked. // Ecrin handed her a tablet. "Your lessons. Sorry, it took some time for Relehir to compile it. The Maramon never intended humans to learn their language." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingI only watch HBO 3.
Story Quote"The godlings’ respective godlings are also human. It just keeps going down the line, and if you ever meet an evolved creature that is decidedly not human, it’s just because it’s somehow related to humans, and spiritually speaking, is still human enough." #bulkstories #fishquotes
4
Time ClinicI later learned that he was a teleporter, still learning his skills. He managed to instruct me how to call his doctor. It was she who was impressed with my quick-thinking, and recommended me for this new job. They call it the Time Clinic, and I already feel at home. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"What are you talking about?" Arcadia questioned. "Why am I learning the language? Don't Vito and Relehir already know it." // "You need to learn it too, so you can study the cultures of the universes in our database, which is written in the Maramon language." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingWhen my dog sleeps in the corner, she's a corndog. It has been decided.
Story Quote"They killed almost the entire population, save for an elite few who were selected to survive in stasis. With humanity out of the way, their planet could once again take over, and eventually repair the damage. They would not awaken for millions of years." #bulkstories #fishquotes
5
Time ClinicI approach the receptionist. "Right on time, Miss Siria," he says with a kind smile. // "Siria is my first name. Siria Webb." // Now he laughs. "I know. I'm from the South." He places a little yellow basket on the counter, full of stuff. "Here's your onboarding kit." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia looked at Ecrin with a blank face. // "You didn't think you were here for no reason, did you? No, each universe is unique, and we need someone to understand the differences before we show up, and start fighting against the Maramon that ended up there." #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationBoss: "What are you doing? Your break is over." // Employee: "I can't return to work yet. The sign in the bathroom says all employees must wash their hands first, and I've not yet done that." // Boss: "Do it now." // Employee: "Hashtag-loophole." // Boss: "Hashtag-you're fired."
Story Quote"The two phoenixes in the family can technically travel as well, but they have to die first, and navigation is sketchy at best. Joseph is the one true bulk traveler, and it makes all of his brothers extremely jealous. For some, it makes them murtherous." #bulkstories #fishquotes
6
Time ClinicThe receptionist goes on, "that will direct you to your quarters. Take fifteen minutes to get settled, and then head for your first patient. Room two-sixteen." // "First patient, already?" I question. "I don't need orientation, or anything?" // "Not that I know of." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Oh. Yeah, that wasn't clear," Arcadia said. "I guess it makes sense to have someone like that. How much time do I have to learn the language fluently?" // "All the times," Ecrin said as she was walking back out. Every times." // Still, she better get started. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationAuditor: "What is this line item right here? It's costing the school district tens of thousands of dollars per year." // School Accountant: "That's insurance, for property damage caused by teenager werewolf battles." // Auditor: "…" // School Accountant: "Trust me, we need it."
Story Quote"The second group won at first, but then the first group took over, and warped the world to their needs. Their leader was named Azazil Aj-lishdefil, and he earned his woxa of Adversary when he led a coup against the true leader, Alaha ‘Almighty’ Adonai." #bulkstories #fishquotes
7
Time ClinicI'm no doctor, as I'm sure you guessed. I'm not here to treat patients. I'm just here to be there for them, to assist them with anything nonmedical that they need. I'm an uncertified caretaker, for a very specific clientele. They have what are called time conditions. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisySo Arcadia started learning how to read Maramon. It wasn't that hard, in the end. The sentence strucutre was the same as it was in English, and every word had a direct translation, so it was mostly just about memorizing vocabulary. It only took her three weeks. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationMark: "Friends, Romans, countrymen! Lend me your ears!" // Vincent: *sigh* "Okay…" // Woman in crowd: "Oh my God!"
Story Quote"Each time you crack a leak in the membrane, you let a little concentrated bulk energy into your universe, which you use to power another strike to make the leak larger, which powers your third strike, and so on, until it’s large enough to pass through." #bulkstories #fishquotes
8
Time ClinicI'm not quite certain what a time condition is, but they tell me that it's a general term for afflictions and sicknesses, which people get for various reasons. Not everyone has the same thing of course, and they all have different needs. I'm here to help all of them. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyWhile Arcadia was working on her studies, it wasn't like the crew was sitting still. They each had their own ways to prepare. This often meant going off to hunt for resources, like medical supplies, tools, equipment, tactical gear, and some creature comforts. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationCop: "You wanna tell me why you were going two miles an hour back there, but by the time I caught up to you, you were going over 100?" // Me: "I was listening to In the Hall of the Mountain King." // Cop: "Oh. I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realize. I won't keep you, have a nice day."
Story Quote"She is Abigail’s mother, but not Pryce’s wife, or even his love interest. According to lore, they procreated once, but never spent any other time together. I’m sure she hates him just as much as we do. She stands here like a sentry, still and prepared." #darningwars #fishquotes
9
Time ClinicI decide to set my onboarding basket on the desk in my room, and go look for room 216. A nurse is already in there, doing something with the patient's IV. There's something coming out of his mouth, which he casually lets fall into a jar on his lap as he watches TV. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThey also needed to get to know each other in general, and build trust. Remember that nearly all of these people had a history of doing bad things to good people, and if they wanted to succeed against the threat, they had to learn to value other people's lives. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryPlease listen to my new podcast! Every day, we'll discuss, uhh…what's a topic that other podcasters don't talk about? I'll take anything, like I don't even care. Ya know what, I'll just play a buzzing sound for 35 minutes straight, that's how excited I am about podcasts.
Story Quote"Serif waited, not wanting to concede so quickly—after no argument, or discussion—but if they could only trust one person in the whole universe, it was Kivi. She had been part of this mission since the start, and had proved herself time and time again." #salmonverse #fishquotes
10
Time Clinic"You must be Siria," the nurse says in an English accent when she notices me. "That's how you pronounce it, right?" // "Perfectly," I answer. "And you are?" // She sighs, not upset, but ready to go. "Late. We'll meet later. Give him whatever he needs…except food." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThe Captain walked back into Arcadia's room one evening. "How are your studies going?" // "Finished enough," she replied. "I'm ready." // "Something came up on the screens. Relehir can translate, but we want to see if you can too. Think of it as a final exam." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryLast night, I had a dream that I used my American Sign Language skills to pretend to be deaf when a guy I cut off in traffic caught up, and confronted me about it. Actually, that wasn't a dream so much as it was a confession.
Story Quote"Continents separate into countries, countries into regions, regions into cities, cities into communities, and communities into individual homes. Tired of your neighbors? Just detach your section, and go find new ones—clear across the globe, if you want." #bulkstories #fishquotes
11
Time ClinicThe patient chuckles, I don't know if it's about the comment the nurse made about food, or something on the TV. Without looking, he reaches over to shake my hand. "Name's also Siria," he says with a full mouth. // "Really?" // He laughs again. "Newbies are gullible." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyEveryone was in the control room to watch her pass her test. It was annoying, not because she was nervous, but because it was such a tight fit. This machine was designed for a tiny crew, and only for testing purposes. That was why they called it The Prototype. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI just got back from Höllenente. Why is everybody wearing masks on their faces? Don't worry about where Höllenente is, or how I got there, or what I had to kill to get back. Tell me what the masks are all about.
Story Quote"They hadn't come up with many invasion fiction stories. They weren't naïve; just hopeful. They wanted to believe that aliens would come as visitors, rather than as hostile forces. The Ochivari's arrival was the most demoralizing thing to happen to them." #bulkstories #fishquotes
12
Time ClinicI switch off the TV, and sit next to him. I can tell he responds better to authority, and this won't work if I let him walk all over me. "What is your name?" // "Tal." // "What's that in your mouth, Tal?" // "Caviar." // How does it get in there?" // He just shrugs. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia peered at the screen. "How did this come in?" // "You tell us," Ecrin said. Barbwire was smirking. The rest were being patient. // "The system's locked. We can't go anywhere..until we go there." She pointed. // "And where is there?" // "Universe Prime." #BringingBackDaisy
TruthA good rule of thumb is for @MichaelRapaport to keep his dumb mouth shut.
Story Quote"That’s not really how gravity works, so again, I can’t say what happened. Obviously, since it was no longer being supported by a host star, the Earth started becoming inhospitable. It’s a good thing a few people knew that it was coming, and had a plan." #bulkstories #fishquotes
13
Time Clinic"Caviar just spontaneously appears in your mouth, and you have no idea why?" I ask. // "I know why," Tal corrects. "I unwittingly slightly inconvenienced a man called The Cleanser. He made it so that caviar constantly teleports into my mouth, and it can't be undone." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyUniverse Prime wasn't the most important one in the bulk; it was just a starting point, a frame of reference, to understand the relationship amongst the other nearby branes. It WAS where The Superintendent lived, though, and that probably wasn't good for them. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI was a writer for Inside Edition back in the early 1990s. I'm the one who wrote the "frak it! We'll do it live!" line. @BillOReilly didn't care for the scifi reference, so he made a last minute alteration, but I'm still proud of my contribution.
Story Quote"They can be fun, they can be embarrassing, and they can be impossible to answer without looking bad. But one thing they’re not is consequential…unless you live in Hypothetiverse. In that world, every answer you give comes true. It happens to someone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
14
Time Clinic"Were you a waiter?" I guess. // Tal sips water as he's nodding. He swishes it around, and spits it all into his jar. "I can get a couple minutes of peace if I manage to get all of it out at once, but it always starts up again." // "How do you sleep?" // "I don't." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"If the computer says we have to go to Universe Prime, then we go to Univere Prime," Ecrin said. "Smith, run pre-launch procedures. Arcadia, brush up on what little we know of The Superintendent. The rest of you? Be sure to tinkle. It'll be a real short ride." #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I've decided to cancel Saturday and Sunday this week. Please proceed directly to Monday tomorrow. If I catch anyone trying to steal a weekend, I'm gonna suck out all the paid time off they have for the rest of their lives, so consider yourselves warned.
Story Quote"She used this power to create mechacelestial objects, like the matrioshka body, and Big Papa, but once those were complete, she set her sights on something larger…more glorious. She wanted to build an entire universe, according to her specifications." #bulkstories #fishquotes
15
Time ClinicTal jerks his head back to his IV bag. "These keep me awake permanently. I'll choke on this stuff if I try to sleep. We even tried to hang me upside down, but it didn't work." He shivers at the memory. // "I bet you're pretty tired, huh?" // "No, but I miss sleep." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia and the crew jumped to the coordinates that the Prototype was forcing upon them, but only she was able to exit. The rest were blocked by an invisible barrier. She guessed it was the second part of Ecrin's test of her skills, so she just kept walking. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationSome Young Man: "Sir, I know you're a very busy and important man, but I have a really great idea that would be truly beneficial to your company." // Me: "Okay, what's the 'elevator pitch'?" // Young Man: "Okay, it's—" // Me: "Twist, we're in a teleporter. You're out of time."
Story Quote"I’m shaking my head. It’s a trick. There is no altruistic or benevolent version of Pryce. There are only some that aren’t as bad as others. I don’t know why he wants me to be the one to do this instead of him, but I can’t let him play any part in it." #darningwars #fishquotes
16
Time ClinicI frown, deep in thought, arms crossed, with my chin resting on my fist. // "What are you thinking?" Tal starts growing suspicious of me. "What are you doing here? What is your specialty?" // "Nothing," I answer. "No specialty, that is. But I AM thinking…of an idea." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyAs Arcadia was looking for some kind of sign, directing her where to go, twins appeared from behind the trees, and approached. They weren't smiling, but they didn't look mean either. It took her a moment to realize they were…The Superintendent, her creator. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryAnd then God said, "let there be light." He stood there for an hour before he remembered he's the one who's supposed to make the light, because he's the only one who exists right now. He was really embarrassed, but then he remembered again, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EXISTS RIGHT NOW.
Story Quote"There were billions of worlds in this reality. He traveled to a few of them, but they weren’t exciting enough. They didn’t have death or danger, and Amulet didn’t think that was living. He begged his parents to one day let him join the crew of the AOC." #salmonverse #fishquotes
17
Time ClinicHis break is over. Caviar starts teleporting into his mouth again, so he has to let it fall into his jar. It's nearly full, though. Without asking, I switch it out with an empty one, but I'm still trying to figure out my solution. There has to be a way to end this. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"This feels like a trap," Arcadia said. "Why are there two of you?" // "I'm a time traveler now," one of the Superintendents explained. "I came back to stop a catastrophe that I caused, but inadvertently prevented my dog from being born. I need you to fix it." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryDid you guys know that sinks have hot water too? 🎶A whole new woooooorrrlld!🎶
Story Quote"Like I’ve been saying, they are antinatalists, not efilists, and not murderers. An all out war would cause more harm to the planet they’re trying to rescue, and would unnecessarily drain them of resources. That’s not to say that violence never occurs." #bulkstories #fishquotes
18
Time Clinic"If the caviar can teleport in," I begin, "then why don't they teleport it out? Stick, like, a little teleporter device in your cheek, and keep it clear of the caviar exactly as fast as it can come in. Would that work?" // "I don't know enough about it, I don't know." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That's why we're here?" Arcadia questioned. "You want me to save your dog?" // The time traveler revealed a creepy smile. Well, it's less about what we want, and more about what YOU want. YOU want to not die, and if you do this for us, you won't. Make sense?" #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingWauconda, Illinois FOREVER!
Story Quote"Surprisingly, this form of isolationism never led to war. In fact, though they did experience some violence, it was nowhere near what most civilizations had. They had no use for it, because everyone always had their own resources, and left others alone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
19
Time ClinicNow we're both in thought. The nurse comes back, followed by the doctor who took over care of the teleporter that I saved. "We were watching remotely," Dr. Hammer says. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't an asshole to my patients, but you may be on to something." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That makes sense," Arcadia agreed. "I'll bring back your dog, as long as my powers even work in your universe." // "They do," the younger version of the Superintendent replied. "I made sure of it." // "Okay." Arcadia prepared. I'll have to touch your head." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingSometimes I open the corner cupboard in my kitchen, just to make sure that, yep..head's still there.
Story Quote"It showed how flawed the Ochivari's ideals were, even within the parameters of their sick and irrational view of the multiverse. Unfortunately, this development did nothing to dissuade them from their crusade. They just needed to devise contingencies." #bulkstories #fishquotes
20
Time ClinicDr. Hammer narrows her eyes, and regards the both of us. "Find the number for Holly Blue," she says to her nurse. "I want her to give this some thought. It has to be thin, and perpetual, and like she said, it has to teleport the caviar away as fast as it comes in." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyHe stepped towards Arcadia, maybe a little too eager for her to dig into his memories. "Wait. If you're my creator, did you create me to be attractive to you? Did you decide that?" // "The answer is, don't think about it," the Superintendent replied vaguely. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I prefer Hannah Montana over @MileyCyrus. WHAT? Come at me, bro. Name one Miley song that's better. I can name ten better Hannah songs. Just give me a minute. No, I'm just checking the weather on my phone, completely unrelated. I can too name a Hannah Montana song from memory.
Story Quote"Legend was her only hope now, even though he was nobody, and didn’t know anything about how to find some Canadian stranger who wasn’t going to be famously important until after his death. Still, he agreed to help, because it was the right thing to do." #bulkstories #fishquotes
21
Time Clinic"Yes, sir," the nurse says before leaving. // "Mayhaps Isuel was right when he said he saw something in you that I couldn't. You're not just a natural-born caregiver. You're a problem solver." // Isuel was the name of the teleporter. I didn't know he said that of me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Very well," Arcadia said. She reached up, and placed her hands upon his temples. She had to read his mind to find out information about the dog he was trying to bring forth from a different reality. She needed to know details about who, what, where, and when. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”Ya know, if every one of my followers gave me one dollar each, I would have enough to buy this desk lamp I've had my eye on. Just one dollar. Have you ever thought about that?
Story Quote"The temperate zones where their physical bodies once took up excessive space were returned to nature. Within a century, it was nearly impossible to tell that people had ever lived there before. Anyone still using a body was exploring interstellar space." #bulkstories #fishquotes
22
Time ClinicI continue my job after this, meeting other patients with similar problems, many of which were caused by the same man who punished Tal. Speaking of Tal, the experts get together and invent what I suggested. I feel pretty good about it. I have never been so…important. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Oh," Arcadia says, eyes still closed, and reading The Superintendent's mind. "Your dog is meant to be born tomorrow, which means that our only choice is immaculate conception. I can make it so that nobody realizes that's what happened. Just give me a second." #BringingBackDaisy
Movie LoglineShe's a time traveler. He's an idiot with an unfitting name. Neither one of them knows what they're doing, but together, they'll have to make their way across the country to save the life of a future hero. Legend Has It, coming Spring of 2022. Rated NC-17.
Story Quote"It looked like something out of an old timey one-horse town, but this was clearly a big city. Freya figured that made sense, because most people here would have access to Landis’ panacea, which mostly negated the need for traditional medical practices." #darningwars #fishquotes
23
Time ClinicThe other patients aren't as easy to treat as Tal was. Then I meet someone who can only see ten minutes into the past. Her room has to be kept consistent, or she'll run into something that was moved too recently. It's practically impossible to communicate with her. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia removed her hands from the Superintendent's head. "It's done. Daisy Quake will be born tomorrow, May 23, 2018." // "She'll be the same as she was on my timeline?" he asked. // "Yes," she confirmed. "She's technically FROM that timeline. Just like you." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingThere's a girl at work. We're on the same pee schedule. Unfortunately, she's already married, so I guess life really is just one big cruel joke.
Story Quote"Big surprise, Serif was leaving yet again. It would seem that the universe was working against them, always coming up with new ways to keep them apart. It wasn't the universe, though, it was something else. It was someone else, and he was unbeatable." #salmonverse #fishquotes
24
Time ClinicShe was born deaf, so sight was her only way to understand the world. Now that it's been distorted, she lives in isolation. They are presently teaching her braille, but that still involves a significant delay. I feel like there's a workaround to this, like with Tal. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That means…" // Arcadia nodded. "That's the price. You came back to the past after a series of events that began with the existence of your dog, Daisy, in your timeline. But I took her from you, and gave her to him." She pointed to the younger version of him. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryMy parents always keep their house at a temperature of 69 degrees. I used to think that was a coincidence; that it's just what's most comfortable. Now I'm thinking my parents are just high school sophomores. And now I hear it: "what's most comfortable". Gross.
Story Quote"They may not even be conscious of it, but a couple will have more children, knowing that some will die. That’s not what happened here. Parents will have relatively few children, and if all of them die, and they can't pass on their legacy, then so be it." #bulkstories #fishquotes
25
Time ClinicI spend weeks with Hera, trying to craft a solution, but I realize my main problem is that I don't know what the rules are. I haven't met that many temporal manipulators. I don't know their limits, and their weaknesses. I need to do more research or I'll get nowhere. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"If Daisy never existed in your timeline," she continued, "then the timeline couldn't have existed either." // "Then we've not solved anything," he realized. "He'll make the same mistake over again. He'll destroy the world." // "I can stop him," she offered. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationMe: "If you two don't quiet down back there, I'm calling @jtimberlake, and asking him to take sexy away from all of us! Is that what you want?" // My Kids: "No, dad." // There's no pun or clever observation here. I just live in constant fear that Justin will do this to us.
Story Quote"It didn't make them wonder if there was a better way. They only figured that all they had to do was tweak the investigative aspect. They just needed to better understand how and when people can change. They didn't consider helping them change, though." #bulkstories #fishquotes
26
Time ClinicFortunately for me, the clinic includes a library, where I'm allowed to read up on whatever I want. Not much is written about people with time powers, obviously because they don't want their secrets getting out, but what little I find does finally spark an idea in me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"How am I still here?" the older Superintendent questioned. "If you paradoxed me, why am I still standing here?" // "I'm holding you in a quantum bubble," Arcadia explained. "When I let go, you will disappear, and your counterpart here will forget you existed." #BringingBackDaisy
Dirty JokeI'm German for a whale's vagina. As in, if you give me a whale's vagina, I'll be German for you…or whatever you want me to be. I'm not here to judge.
Story Quote"A skirmish resulted in heavy loss on both sides. By the time a ceasefire was called, the settlers numbered 147, which just so happened to be the generally acceptable minimum for restarting a given population, as it was sufficiently genetically diverse." #bulkstories #fishquotes
27
Time Clinic"Of course," I say to myself out loud. "Hera needs a mask of some kind that shows her ten minutes into the future, which should end up being the present." As it turned out, the resident time traveling inventor, Holly Blue, had already come up with something like this. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"I've left evidence," he pressed. "I posted on social media. I told this story to other people." // "That will be erased as well," Arcadia said. "Each post will be replaced by a different one." // "This isn't fair, I deserve my story to be told. I can't just…" #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryHere to convince you that Daniel Sickles and Philip Barton Key were the same person the whole time. If you don't get this joke, don't worry. I had to look it up a second time when I reread it, and now I've already forgotten who these people are. I'm sure it's a laugh riot.
Story Quote"Most worlds can't fight back, though many would like to try. Once the virus is released, the Ochivari and their allies bug out, and their victims have no way to follow. This time, though, the infiltrators didn't escape fast enough, and they were caught." #bulkstories #fishquotes
28
Time ClinicI quickly find my boss, Nurse Nejla Koroman, who agrees to take my idea to Dr. Hammer and Holly Blue. I return to my room, satisfied that I probably just once again gave a real life back to someone who deserves it. Someone's in here, waiting for me. He looks menacing. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"I'll tell your story," the younger version of the Superintendent promised, finally speaking up. "I'll remember. Arcadia will retrieve her sister, Nerakali for me, and she'll blend my brain. You won't truly disappear. A part of you will live on in my fiction." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI have twelve nipples, but I keep ten of them on my dog. Ya know, after writing it out like this, I'm thinking now maybe those ten are just my dog's nipples, and I really only have two. How can I prove this one way, or the other?
Story Quote"Obviously, the entire point of all this was to protect the species, but the price of not going extinct by some disease could not be going extinct by a lack of propagation. Instead of interacting in base reality, communities formed in virtual constructs." #bulkstories #fishquotes
29
Time Clinic"Who are you?" I ask. // "Well, I'm the one what put wrong what you've put right." // "Huh?" // "The Cleanser. I'm the Cleanser. You have been undoing some of my greatest work. I put a lot of thought into how I torture those people." // "Well…you shouldn't do that." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Will it feel like death?" Future!Superintendent asked. // "It'll feel like nothing," Arcadia revealed. "It never happened." // He breathed in deep, and prepared himself emotionally. "Then best get on with it." Arcadia dropped the bubble, and all of time reset. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”The Pillsbury Doughboy killed someone in 1998, and I helped cover it up, but I just can't stay silent anymore.
Story Quote"That was one of the bad universes. Miss Collins would never use such a word, because she was a kind and understanding person, but all the students got the idea. It was populated by monsters, who broke off of the universe that Treasure’s mother was from." #darningwars #fishquotes
30
Time Clinic"Hm, I've never thought about it like that," he lies before changing back into his rude self, "except I don't care, because they deserved it, and if you're going to stand in my way, then you deserve it too." // "Fine." // "Fine?" // "Fine. Do what you gotta do, bruh." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia disappeared at the same time, leaving the younger—and now only—version of The Superintendent standing there alone, not having recalled any of this time travel stuff. He met his dog, Daisy a few weeks later, fell in love, and just moved on with his life. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”If no one else has ever made a joke about the Bering Gay, or the Gay of Gibraltar, then I guess maybe it's just not that funny. Because I'm certainly not very original.
Story Quote"A well-respected scientific theory hypothesized that people were indeed living in a simulation already, and it didn’t make most people crazy. Hell, today was the day Leona went off to another universe to learn that it was kind of true, but she was fine." #salmonverse #fishquotes
31
Time ClinicThe Cleanser grimaces. "You're not gonna like it." // "Are you stalling until you can get it up, or something? If you're gonna torture me, then do it already!" I don't like bullies. // "Very well," he decides. He holds up a hand, and hits me with a blast of energy. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyAbout two years later, Arcadia returned to Universe Prime, as promised. She brought Nerakali, who blended the Superintendent's brain, showing him his alternate self. It is what has allowed him to tell this story—HIS story. But it is not where that story ends. #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingThank you, Heavy 277. You are cleared for landing on the runway at 37R.
Story Quote"They knew that it was more important to finish the overall structure first, and stuff it with enough resources for the people to survive on. But they didn’t build individual units and rooms until later, in case it took them too long to finish Stage One." #bulkstories #fishquotes

June 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Rebirth of DaltonAfter I died, I fell in with the people who were in charge of the afterlife. It wasn't a real afterlife, mind you, but a virtual simulation where everyone goes after they pass. They trusted me immediately…but they shouldn't have. They should have locked me up. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWhen a timeline collapses to be replaced by a new one, everyone in that old timeline ceases to exist, like they never existed at all. But the time travelers who created the new reality in the first place will survive…unless there is a paradox. I was a paradox. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”Used rug for sale. History of urine.
Story Quote"They thought this simple restriction was all they would need, but there were problems, of course. It led them to prioritizing certain people over others—usually on a first come, first serve basis—resulting in an unfair system. It also resulted in chaos." #bulkstories #fishquotes
2
Rebirth of DaltonI don't know how he did it, but someone was controlling me. He let me move around however I wanted in the simulation, but if I did something he didn't like, he would cause me a great deal of pain. He forced me to spy for him, and then forced me to steal for him. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe timeline changed when I went back, but then a very powerful woman changed it again, and she did it in such a way that negated my original timeline completely. And if it truly never existed, then neither could I, so I just disappeared. But now I have returned. #ParadoxSurvivor
Dumb DittyMe: "🎤The wind blew them off // And blew them on again // Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.🎤 No." // Audience: "What?" // Me: "I will not begin again! I didn't even want to sing it the first time! I am not your monkey!"
Story Quote"The living human species, meanwhile, went on. They began to rebuild civilization, though not out of the ruins of the old world. They had to stay away from cities that were still falling apart from the war, which meant they were basically starting over." #bulkstories #fishquotes
3
Rebirth of DaltonThe leadership and I were down in some secret tunnels, apparently in opposition with some people who were trying to take control of everything. But what they didn't know was that a man named The Cleanser was watching through my eyes, waiting for his opportunity. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe powerful woman's powerful sister came, and gave my alternate self my memories. With those, he recreated me. That's his power, to create characters. But he didn't want us to share a life anymore, so he didn't bring me back on Earth. He's put me somewhere else. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”They should make a sequel to #ThePostman called #TheGarbageMan. It'll have the same premise as the first film, except this guy decides to start picking up people's trash again. I guess that's exactly what he did in the first one. OOOOHHHH! SNAIL MAIL BURN!
Story Quote"The leaners slowly got even better at this when they figured out how to uproot themselves, inch closer to their prey, and reroot themselves at this new location. Their descendants became better and better at this, until they were pretty much walking." #bulkstories #fishquotes
4
Rebirth of DaltonHis opportunity came when we discovered this to be the location of the White Staff; a very powerful object capable of transferring a consciousness from the afterlife simulation, into a new body in the real world. The Cleanser wanted it, so I grabbed it, and ran. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorHe didn't just keep me off of his Earth, though. He placed me on another planet in another universe. He knew that this would be where I wanted to go if I could travel anywhere, because I'm essentially him, just a few years older. This is where my story begins. #ParadoxSurvivor
Dumb Ditty🎙️My dog food brings Daisy to the yard, and she's like.."I like that dog food," and she's like.."I like that dog food. I would share this food, but I'm selfish, dude."🎙️
Story Quote"They didn’t genetically engineer anything, but they helped one evolutionary branch survive everything that would have otherwise prevented it from ultimately evolving intelligence. They helped them pass all their Great Filters, and become an alien race." #bulkstories #fishquotes
5
Rebirth of DaltonI expect the simulation leaders to chase after me, but they seem to have more pressing issues. I run up the steps, across the plaza to the nearest community teleporter, and input the coordinates to a different virtual world, where The Cleanser is waiting for me. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe people of this world—and many others like it—live peacefully, and in harmony with nature. They got rid of, or never developed, any technology that was not necessary to live without struggle. They focused on adapting their own genetics to reach immortality. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingI drank some nail polish remover to see if I was an alien. More data needed.
Story Quote"The soldiers were still chained up to the seats, but their arms were now free, so they could eat. They regarded her with fairly noticeable indifference, probably having realized that she didn’t know anything about them, and had no stake in their war." #darningwars #fishquotes
6
Rebirth of DaltonI hand him the White Staff. "There. Can I please have my free will back?" // "Huh?" He's enamored by the staff. "Oh yeah, sure, sure. Whatever." He waves his hand towards me, but nothing happens. I guess I have to hope he released me, so I can go explain myself. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThere is no war, and no money. If I could design a paradise universe, this would be it. They travel the stars using interstellar wormholes, which occur naturally, but must be widened and stabilized to accommodate passage. They love creation, and hate destruction. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingIt smacks of open-handed violence.
Story Quote"She hadn’t been so mindful of this, but yeah. When Jupiter was in charge, it was somewhat antagonistic. He didn’t give them a choice. Now that Nerakali was the boss, it did seem a little weird that they were still bound by the same arbitrary limitation." #salmonverse #fishquotes
7
Rebirth of Dalton"You can go wherever you want now," he says. "That is…unless you want me to bring you back to life. It can be any life you choose. Anywhere, anywhen, with any powers you want. Just name it. You can even go off to save people again, if that's still your thing." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorSo I can get my bearings, my alternate self reconstituted my atoms a bit away from the village. I'm close enough to reach out to people, but far enough that I can spend time alone if I feel like I need it. I do. The relaxing purr of a river is rushing behind me. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingPig-bimpin'.
Story Quote"Their ancestors put so much effort into perfecting their bodies that they don’t have to work anymore. This is not because automation takes care of everything, like it does in other advanced cultures. They don’t work, because little needs to get done." #bulkstories #fishquotes
8
Rebirth of Dalton"How would you do that?" I question. "The Staff just resurrects people in a pre-made body. It can't give you powers." // "Are you sure about that?" The Cleanser massages the staff in what looks like a very deliberate way, like he's inputting an unlock pattern. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI walk over to sit on the bank of the idyllic river, and enjoy the solitude for a few hours. I don't have any responsibilities anymore, and it feels kinda good. It doesn't last, though. Unlike the people who live in this universe, I have to eat a few times a day. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI look around, and wonder…why do people take their masks off when they eat? It makes no sense. As everybody clearly knows, masks are supposed to hang under your chin, which allows you to put whatever you want in your mouth. Or to spit things out of it, such as all of your bullsh
Story Quote"They sent more probes, now even further out in the universe, but encountered no other lifeforms. Everyone was here, and everyone was either human, or descended from humans. They were disappointed and bored because of this. How could they be so alone?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
9
Rebirth of DaltonThe White Staff transforms, from the basic, sanded, normal wooden-looking stick, to this ornate object with switches, and other flourishes. I don't think the current owners of the simulation knew this was how it worked, or they never would have let me take it. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAs I'm looking around for anything that might be edible, I start to hear singing up the river. It's soft and comforting, just like everything in this universe, and it's headed right for me. Pretty soon, I see a raft floating my way. The singer is lying upon it. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI played one of the little women in an all male cast of Little Women. It's not that I don't remember which part I played. It's just that I've never seen it, so I can't even lie about which one. I've never read it either. Is it a book? I've never read it either.
Story Quote"They weren’t about to let a fascist plutocracy rule the lands again, and their anger clouded them to the fact that the only way to enforce their will was to become the fascists. Anyone who attempted to show them this reality was—you guessed it—executed." #bulkstories #fishquotes
10
Rebirth of Dalton"How did you know it could do that?" I ask, amazed, and upset that I'm amazed by anything The Cleanser did. // "I've been studying the afterlife simulation," he explains. "I know everything about this place, even things Pryce never realized." Pryce, the creator. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAs if sensing my presence as she approaches on the uncontrolled raft, the singer stops, and perks up. When she finds me on the bank, she smiles, and grabs a paddle to stop the raft. "Hey, there, friend. You look like an ancient human!" // "Not quite," I reply. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”The healthiest way to brush your teeth is to squeeze the toothpaste directly onto your teeth, rather than the brush first. You lose about 7% effectiveness by letting a minute amount of it evaporate before it even gets in your mouth.
Story Quote"Some children stay young for an extended period of time. Others will age too fast, often because some profound moment in their lives has transformed them into a different person, which only the illusion of the passage of time can meaningfully express." #bulkstories #fishquote
11
Rebirth of Dalton"So, what'll it be?" he offers. // "I can't change the proper physics of the real world, but I can translate any simulation ability that is possible in the real world from your avatar, to your new body." // Hmm. That's not something I've ever fantasized about. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI'm honest when I tell her who I am, and where I'm from, because I know it won't freak her out. Nothing freaks these people out. Going with the flow is their resting state, and also their elevated states. "That's interesting," she says. "Want a ride on my raft?" #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryThere is a little bit of pee on everything I touch. No, you misunderstand. I don't touch things when I have pee on my hands. It's just that a witch cursed me with there always already being pee on the things I touch.
Story Quote"The curator still didn’t know that it had magical powers, but she felt compelled to put it on display, and make up a story about its history. The museum was struggling, you see, and she just needed to get people back in the doors for the real artifacts." #bulkstories #fishquote
12
Rebirth of DaltonThe voice of the true leader of the simulation booms from everywhere at once, "hear me now, people of the afterlife. The experiment is over, and it is time to see The Beyond. It is time to live once more." // "If you want powers," the Cleanser says, "decide now." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox Survivor"Where are you going?" // "Nowhere in particular," she says with a shrug. "I'm just letting the river decide my fate." // "Sounds like a good enough reason to me." I climb on board, and we push off. She puts the paddle away, and we lie down to watch the clouds. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryIt's Hollywood's worst kept secret that @AaronRAshmore does not have a twin. @ShawnRAshmore is a fabrication he came up with to land more roles. It's like how a regular person will have two part-time jobs, because they can't get enough hours to be full-time at just the one job.
Story Quote"Where once she was isolated and unhelpful, now she was vital to the mission. She was getting a lot of exercise, running back and forth from the front of the ship, to the middle, to the back. It felt like punishment, but at least it was keeping her fit." #darningwars #fishquotes
13
Rebirth of DaltonI don't have much time to respond. If Ellie resurrects me with everyone else, I'll come out normal. If I want to make a real difference in the world, The White Staff—and therefore The Cleanser—is my only hope now. "Do it." // "What powers do you want?" he asks. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAfter at least a half hour of silence, I speak. "My name is Tavis, by the way." // "I'm Cricket," she says. // "Nice to meet you, Cricket. What are your pronouns?" // "He-slash-him," he answers. "Yours?" // "Same. Do you happen to have any food?" // "I sure do." #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake QuoteThe full quote goes, "the best laid plans of mice and men…will make you pretty, young, and thin."
Story Quote"Things were okay for now. Both of them just wanted to take it slow, and focus on their missions. It looked like that might be coming to an end, however. There just wasn't a lot of danger in the world anymore, and people like them weren't so necessary." #salmonverse #fishquotes
14
Rebirth of DaltonI wish I had more time to come up with an answer, but I can already feel Ellie trying to resurrect us all in her own way. I quickly go through my mental rolodex. I've met a lot of people with time powers over the years. Time travel, teleportation, immortality… #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorCricket carelessly gestures towards the other side of the raft, where his bag is. I assume the food is in there, so I reach in and help myself to some bread. It's very good, and quickly filling. Once I'm done, I lie back down, and we watch the clouds some more. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryMy dog is a pollo-pesceterian, just like me. This means that she only eats poultry and seafood—just like me—and the occasional squirrel or rabbit, raw and whole...just like me.
Story Quote"The evolutionary road that brought the two species to this point was a long and windy one, but the gist of it is that the nevilere started living in the hump for obvious reasons; as protection against predators, but it also does the same for the human." #bulkstories #fishquote
15
Rebirth of Dalton"Too late!" The Cleanser declares. "Too slow! Whatever your current idea is, that is what you are going to get! It's psychic. Here, hold this right here." // I grab hold of the staff, as he holds on as well. Just before Ellie can take us, I see a flash of white. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe keep drifting down the river for a few hours. We talk a little bit, getting to know each other, but we also just enjoy the sounds of nature. Suddenly, we crash into a rock. The raft completely falls apart, and we have to swim to shore. NBD, we're both fine. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryPeople always say that it's a free country, but that's not true. I paid $540 million for it back in 1871. I, admittedly, did not keep a watchful eye on it, and we've had some middle management issues, but I think the personnel changes I made several months ago are going well.
Story Quote"Most of the time, monogamy is not a very good survival trait, and it doesn’t always support the biological imperative. Sure, perhaps a child is better off being raised consistently by two parents, but evolution isn’t about the survival of an individual." #bulkstories #fishquote
16
Rebirth of DaltonNext thing I know, I'm waking up in a pod. I'm not having any trouble breathing, but I'm pretty disoriented. I know that I was just about to get resurrected, but I'm not sure if that was a second ago, or last year. I feel confused, and an urge to get to my feet. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe look downstream as the remnants of the raft, and all of Cricket's gear disappear around the bend. "I lost all my stuff," he says, nonchalantly. // "I might need to find shelter. I'm just a regular, unenhanced human. The elements aren't always kind to my kind." #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryHorses are our equals, which is why they call them equine.
Story Quote"People didn’t know what to think when Sea Goddess showed up on the scene in her colorful frilly outfit, and started fighting crime. They didn’t have the concept of a superhero. Comic books were predominantly about angsty teens, and exceptional athletes." #bulkstories #fishquote
17
Rebirth of DaltonSomeone is next to me, struggling to get out of his own pod. It's probably The Cleanser, but he looks different. Our new bodies don't look like us. They're just generic models that we can modify later as needed. For now, we just have to learn how to walk again. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox Survivor"I had a tent. But now…" he starts patting himself down. "Aha, yes. I do have a sleeping bag with me." He pulls out this tiny little thing that could never possibly expand large enough to accommodate a person, but these people once developed advanced technology. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI've never touched my own penis.
Story Quote"They couldn’t build extensions, because the engines wouldn’t be able to handle more mass. They installed pocket dimension generators, which gave them extra space, without making the ship proper any larger. Something went wrong in one of these pockets." #bulkstories #fishquote
18
Rebirth of DaltonA robot comes in, and starts tending to me, followed quickly by another for The Cleanser. It escorts me down the hall, and into a waterfall shower. It's the perfect temperature, and the perfect pressure. Once clean, I relax in the hot tub for a couple of hours. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorCricket pulls a string, and releases the sleeping bag. It expands to be large enough for two people, but surely he's not intending for us both to use it. He strips down, and climbs inside. Then he clearly invites me in as well. "I'm in need of a good nap. You?" #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake ConversationTexian: "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" // Me: "I WAS BLACKED OUT DURING MOST OF THE 1830s!"
Story Quote"In the evening, he had a nice dinner, enjoyed an hour-long massage, then started his nightshift, which was… Well, it was different. Let’s just say that certain women were…interested in…seeing if his abilities could be…passed onto a new generation." #bulkstories #fishquotes
19
Rebirth of DaltonThis new body is great. The skin doesn't prune, and I don't feel overheated. They took all the great things about being human, but removed all the bad. I tripped and fell on my face getting out, but it didn't hurt at all. Powers or no, I could get used to this. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI get inside the sleeping bag too, but keep my clothes on. It's going to take me awhile to get used to the carefree attitude of this universe. I'm in favor of the chill life, but it's not instinctual. We lie down back to back, and he zips it all the way closed. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingThe alphabet you all learned was wrong. Here's the real order: O, C, E, T, A, Z, F, U, R, V, S, D, B, X, G, I, J, P, W, L, Q, Y, K, N, H, M. You may be like, "that's an arbitrary order," and to that I say, so is the real one, innit?
Story Quote"That wasn’t the truth, but it was probably a good idea, seeing as that Treasure avoided combat training as she was growing up. They made it available to her, if she wanted it, but she never did. She wasn’t a pacifist, but she wasn’t a fighter either." #darningwars #fishquotes
20
Rebirth of DaltonWhen I step out of the bathroom, the robot is waiting for me. It escorts me down another hallway, through a large room, and into—what's that? Is that The Cleanser? He's in some kind of stasis pod. "Why is he in there?" // "He's a prisoner now," the robot answers. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorIt's always taken me at least an hour to fall asleep, and that's if I'm really tired. I didn't know until I was an adult that it takes most people about ten minutes. Here, I'm so comfortable that I'm out in a few minutes. I've also never been comfortable before. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingNot today, Satan! Not today! Tomorrow.
Story Quote"Leona pantomimed zipping her lips shut, not that it mattered. Nothing about what they knew of Hokusai and Loa’s future prevented them from one day traveling to Tau Ceti. They, in fact, did not know much about what would become of them. They lost touch." #salmonverse #fishquotes
21
Rebirth of Dalton"Why is he a prisoner?" I ask. // "The builder of the afterlife simulation, Tamerlane Pryce. He asked us to hold that man in custody indefinitely if he ever managed to get himself resurrected." // "Oh, weird," I muse. "Good, but weird. He didn't see this coming?" #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI don't know how long we sleep, because we have nothing to wake up to do, so it doesn't matter. I've always been obsessed with time, and managing time, but also yearned for a world where I no longer needed it. We awaken to find other sleeping bags all around us. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingAtheist: "I have faith that you will one day lose your faith, Faith."
Story Quote"It wasn’t technically against the law to modify yourself on purpose, but there were consequences. The government wasn’t obligated to help if you chose it for yourself, because you would be taking resources from innocent people, who had no other choice." #bulkstories #fishquotes
22
Rebirth of Dalton"He was reportedly surprised," the robot says. "Now come. We must return you to Earth." It leads me to a machine called a Nexus, which is capable of nearly instantaneously transporting people across the galaxy. I step down into it, and unceremoniously disappear. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorOne thing I didn't before know about this universe is that people engineered themselves to sense when others are sleeping nearby. They'll be compelled to do the same, for protection and comfort. They also sometimes wake up at the same time. That's happening now. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryMan plans, and God laughs. She's relieved. "For a second there, I thought they were going to expect me to have some master plan for them. I have no idea what I'm doing."
Story Quote"Seven people who belonged to the Institute the entire time will be there to help guide the inheritors, and maintain order. These include a leader, a primary medical professional, an engineer, an electrician, a mechanic, a gardener, and a logistician." #bulkstories #fishquotes
23
Rebirth of DaltonI expect there to be some kind of guide to help get me back on my feet on Earth, but I'm all alone. There doesn't even appear to be a Nexus technician on this side. I assume I'm on Earth, but I can't tell that by staying in this room, so I walk out into the sun. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe crawl out of our sleeping bags and tents. Few seem to know each other, so it turns into a mixer, with everyone introducing themselves. Some people get out food, while others set up games. None of the activities are quite familiar, but they're not too foreign. #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Oh, he'll be ready for your date in a few minutes. He says he just wants to finish one more episode." // My boyfriend: "Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Channing. What show is he watching?" // My parole officer: "Charmed, I'm sure."
Story Quote"Many tuned in, not just for the competition itself, but the drama that surrounded the contestants. How they lived together during the season, even after people were eliminated, was an important aspect of the social experiment; perhaps most important." #bulkstories #fishquotes
24
Rebirth of DaltonI walk right back inside, because it's freezing out there. As far as my eyes can see, it's snow. No buildings, no roads. I have to gather some information, so I walk up the steps to the control room. To my surprise, the door is unlocked, and so is the computer. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorIt's a lot of fun, hanging out with these stranges, and playing a horseshoe-like game, and a sort of hopskotch. I'm not one for parties, and I don't like meeting new people, but I guess I'm a totally different person in this universe. I'm the best version of me. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”I just got this internet challenge. I'm meant to post five things I love about myself. Okay, I can do this. 1) I don't ever brag about mys—oh, no…
Story Quote"If the police weren’t going to police themselves, then the people were going to have to do it for them, and if the courts did not accept such evidence as legitimate, then the offending party was at risk of being crucified by the court of public opinion." #bulkstories #fishquotes
25
Rebirth of DaltonI'm confused, and I'm not sure I'm reading this right. When The Cleanser and I escaped the afterlife simulation, it was the year 2400. But if I'm understanding this, the Nexus technician sent me back to Earth in the year 2021. Was that a mistake, or on purpose? #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe event dies down as people gradually leave. Some are going to specific homes, but most are continuing to travel, just like Cricket is. One couple wants to start walking instead, so they give us their boat, and let us continue down the river, towards wherever. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingMy favorite actor is Colbie Smuders.
Story Quote"That’s one thing that I was right about. They were capable of demanding universal laws for the protection of their world, but they didn’t possess a spirit of cooperation, which stifled ingenuity, and slowed progress. They couldn’t last forever this way." #bulkstories #fishquotes
26
Rebirth of DaltonWell, this sucks. I'm pretty sure someone works at the Earthan Nexus centuries from now, but I don't think people knew about it in this time period. Some time travelers did, sure, but they would be few and far between. I have nowhere to go. I'm gonna die here. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorFirst, I make sure that Cricket really does want me to continue with him, and he happily assures me that he likes having me around. People here don't come together in large communities for long, but I think they usually do stay in small groups, so I believe him. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”[This tweet has been pre-deleted for its inappropriateness in the present sociopolitical climate. Don't worry, you're not missing anything.]
Story Quote"People did not go down to the surface very often, instead deciding to leave it to the plants and animals. They mostly lived in large structures that were hanging from the bottom, down towards the atmosphere, like gargantuan stalactites. How interesting." #darningwars #fishquotes
27
Rebirth of DaltonI sit on the edge of the landing from the ramp, and hang my legs off of the edge. There is really nothing that I can do. I suppose I could try to find a way to send a message from the computer, but who would receive it, and what is their proverbial phone number? #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe keep going down the river for a few hours, now standing up to enjoy watching the trees go by, rather than the clouds. Something weird and large is up ahead in the water. We're headed right for it, and there's no avoiding it unless we just jump out of the boat. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingI fall asleep after ten minutes if no one pushes any of my buttons.
Story Quote"There was no doubt that he could beat Mateo, and there was no getting around this fact. If they were normal people, maybe Mateo could sneak a gun into the duel, and just kill him, and it wouldn’t matter anymore, because the threat would be eliminated." #salmonverse #fishquotes
28
Rebirth of DaltonBefore I can come up with a pointless plan, a woman appears on the steps. She nearly falls, having not expected to show up on the stairs. I hop up, and catch her. "Oh, thank you," she says. "But I am here to rescue you…I imagine. My name is Daria." // "Dalton." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI'm a writer, not an illustrator, so though I would be pretty good at spotting elements from my stories if I were to come across them, there's no guarantee. I realize too late that the mass of energy is a temporary bridge, which will lead us to another universe. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”If there's one lesson I learned after my years of experience with the CIA, it's never accept a drink from someone who's trying to poison you.
Story Quote"He wasn’t the last in his generation, or even the parents’ only son. He was just the best choice for passing the baton. His DNA was strong, and so were his reproductive capabilities. If they couldn’t have him, no one could. Yeah, they were that sick." #bulkstories #fishquotes
29
Rebirth of Dalton"Do you happen to know where we are, Dalton?" Daria asks me. // "I do not. Somewhere cold. I couldn't see anything but snow outside." // "Hmm. Could be Antarctica." // "Yeah, maybe. But either way, you can get us both out of here?" // "Absolutely. It's my job." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI try to explain to Cricket that there is no way to know what kind of universe we'll end up in, but he just smiles. "I told you that I'm headed nowhere. I might as well just keep going, and see where that is." // I don't want to go, but I don't want to leave him. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”A New Avengers: Endgame Theory Says That It's Just A Movie And All Your Dumb Theories Are Pointless, Because If There Isn't Proof Within The Confines Of A Narrative, Then It Isn't Real, Unless A Theory Is Posed by That Narrative But Unanswered, Like Whether The Top Keeps Spinning
Story Quote"The metaphorical picture of the universe is larger than a normal one when that happens, but my perspective hasn’t changed, so every detail is smaller. The point is that I don’t know how many loops these people went through. I only know that it was bad." #bulkstories #fishquotes
30
Rebirth of Dalton"Can you choose where we go?" I question. // "Nope," Daria answers. "The powers that be send me where they want me to be. I'm going to have to touch you now." She reaches over, and wraps her arms around my shoulders. Then we disappear from this wretched place. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe water starts to move faster, pulling us towards the bridge, lowering the chances that it will collapse on its own before we get there. I didn't even think they ever stayed open this long. We arrive in enough time, and cross the threshold into the unknown… #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”Horses have wooden teeth. Scientists still aren't sure how they evolved to be the only animal species that grows wood.
Story Quote"She just had to make sure she wasn’t around too many people who had excelscians. She actually tried to join a community of non-excelschianed humans, but those were pretty exclusive, and always at least a little racist, so they rejected her applications." #bulkstories #fishquotes

July 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
Siria’s WebMy name is Siria Webb, and I used to be a pretty normal person. I found myself working at a special clinic that treated patients who were suffering from time conditions. I loved it, but now…I've become one of them. But I'm not lucky enough to be at the clinic anymore. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseThe boat crashes into the side of a building. A crowd of passersby stares at us, surely wondering how we've seemingly come out of nowhere. It wasn't nowhere; just a different universe. The question is, what universe are we in now? It at least looks pretty modern. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”Why was this week's new episode of #BreakingBad five hours long? They spent so much time showing Walter Wright drawing fake hair on his legs after that coke dealer burned it off. I mean, I get that it was important, but did we have to be there for every sodding minute of it?
Story Quote"This is an extremely delicate dance, and there is pretty much no room for error. For the most part, the people in charge of the program know what they’re doing, and they don’t make mistakes. But of course, it wouldn’t be a story if it never happened." #bulkstories #fishquotes
2
Siria’s WebI first find myself in dinosaur times. I couldn't tell you the year, or even what epoch, or whatever. I'm not a whatever kind of scientist would know such things. I only know that some kind of gigantic bird-like creature is heading right for me, so all I can do is run. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Are you okay, Cricket?" I ask. // "Yeah, man, I'm cool," he says. We climb out of the wreckage, and stand there, not sure what to do now. The crowd stares for a few more seconds before going back to whatever they were doing before, acting like it never happened. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryCurrently working my second job where I sneak onto movie sets with sunglasses and a bandana around my neck, pretend I'm meant to be there, and as soon as a production issue comes up, I just say, "we'll fix it in post." I like the taste of their screams on my tongue.
Story Quote"A few like-minded individuals came together, and formed an organization dedicated to this research. They did not have malevolent intentions, but they recognized the possibility that the dreamworlds could be weaponized in some way, or otherwise abused." #bulkstories #fishquotes
3
Siria’s WebI run, and I run, and I run. I try to find somewhere to hide, like a cave, but I don't know how desperate this thing is, or how smart it is, and there could be something lurking in that cave anyway. I'm gonna die, and all because I antagonized such a powerful person. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Do you know where we are?" Cricket asks. // "No, but I can narrow it down," I say. "They have to experience weird things regularly enough to brush off our arrival so easily. My best guess is Bladapodoverse, but it could also be Fickleverse, or even Muxleyverse." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”The lifetime achievement award is the sickest thing this world has. It's great that you're appreciating this great person, who has done great things, but they might have more life to live. You don't have to condemn them to death just to acknowledge them. There are better ways.
Story Quote"Quino turned red, and closed his eyes in embarrassment. Now things were really awkward. What little info Kickstand disclosed wasn’t proof, because time travel, but there was really good evidence now that he and Treasure were destined to end up together." #darningwars #fishquotes
4
Siria’s WebAs I'm running, I see something out of the corner of my eye. Was it a tree, or a trick of the light? I take a risk, and backtrack a bit. No, he's real. He's an actual human being. Either this is a six-part movie series come to life, or I'm not the only time traveler. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Well, let's take a walk," Cricket suggests. "Maybe you'll figure out which world this is when you see a little bit more." So we do, we start walking. Yes, it does look a lot like Bladapodoverse, but I don't think that's it. That just does not sound quite right. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I once met a dude named No Reply. He was very lonely. Nobody ever responded to his messages. I essentially already made this joke, because I'm dumb and lazy.
Story Quote"Leona didn’t want to go anywhere. She didn’t want to stop her training, and she didn’t want to return to the Milky Way. This was her home now. No, she had to keep it a secret. Perhaps she would never tell them, and they would just live here forever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
5
Siria’s Web"Come on!" I shout to the other traveler. "We have to go!" // "I can't move," he contends. "I can only travel out of here if I stand still for a long enough time. If I run now, I'll lose my charge." // "I'll help you charge up later, but if you don't leave, you die." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Then I see it. It could still be Bladapodoverse, but probably not. A man is walking backwards; slowly so he doesn't run into anything, but he doesn't turn his head. A little girl seems to be physically holding her eyelids open. A woman is drinking from a plate. #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingPretty grocery store clerk: "We all want to be safe during the pandemic. If you wear a mask in the store, I'll give you a kiss."
Story Quote"Psychics didn’t bother fighting against this, because they didn’t really care. There were better places to live anyway. The presence detector was allowed to live there without any grief, though, since it was her hometown, and she didn’t disturb anyone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
6
Siria’s Web"I'm not going anywhere," the guy claims. "You can stay too, and I'll jump us both back to the future. I only need a few more minutes." // I grit my teeth, and debate it in my head. One option is quickly taken away from me when the dinosaur catches up, and attacks him. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Hypothetiverse," I say to Cricket. // "How can you tell?" // "In the main reality, people ask each other 'would you rather' questions. 'Would you rather walk backwards, or have to slide on your butt?' Things like that. This reality is beholden to those answers." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYou can mow snow. That's why they called it that. I know I should be posting this in winter, but…I'm working on July right now, and switching over to another spreadsheet tab just seems like too much work for a Twitter account that literally no one reads.
Story Quote"He knew that his creation could have consequences. He needed time to save his alternate self, but if that turned out to be impossible, it left at least one person who could reveal the secret to the world. What would he do then? How would he protect it?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
7
Siria’s WebI don't have time to stand there in shock. I've seen someone nearly die once, but never someone who actually died. But unless I want to be next, my only choice is to get back to running. After only two steps, though, something transports me away. I'm now on a mountain. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket nods, like he understands, but I know he doesn't. Part of the beauty of his people is that they accept what they learn, but the downside is that they don't question. They don't try to learn more. I'm surprised he's asked as many questions as he has so far. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYou want some callbacks? I'll give you callbacks. My parole officer got a sneak peak of this new series called #BreakingBad. She or he invited me over to watch, but I was too busy being a dead alien time traveling immortal secret agent with several wives, and I think that's it.
Story Quote"They still wanted to use their technology, and explore science, so they decided to colonize an island that was surprisingly equidistant from the land masses that would come to be known as Greenland, Iceland, and Ireland—around 690 miles, in your terms" #bulkstories #fishquotes
8
Siria’s Web"Help!" a voice cries, but I can't tell where it's coming from. "Help!" it repeats, and now I know it's off the edge of the cliff. I race over to find a middle-aged man hanging from a bush. "Help me up! I obviously can't aim for crap, so I'm afraid to teleport again!" #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseEveryone who lives in the secondary reality is trapped by their own alternate's decisions. Some people don't answer these entertaining hypothetical questions, and even if they did, this world would be crazy, but not dangerous. Still, what does that mean for us? #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryI just realized that I've never ridden an elevator with someone else. Sure, I've seen them get off when I get on, and get on when I get off, but I've always been alone when it's moving. Why do you think that is?
Story Quote"One world discovered how heavily populated the universe was shockingly quickly. Instead of gradually traveling farther and farther from home, they decided to stay on the ground, and focus on finding a way to jump anywhere they wanted instantaneously." #bulkstories #fishquotes
9
Siria’s WebI lie on my stomach over the edge of the cliff, but I can't reach him. // "Please!" he shouts. // "You're too far away! Can you climb a little?" // "No," he yells angrily, shaking the bush enough to loosen a few fibers. "No!" he repeats, but now for a different reason. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe don't have alternates in the main reality, so we should be fine. I don't know what life will be like for us, but it'll be weird, I can say as much. The bridge collapse that brought us was an accident, and a rare occurrence. We have almost no chance of leaving. #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingI just printed about a thousand megawatts of pixels onto my mousekey.
Story Quote"Each jump would discharge the temporal energy, no matter how far, and the only way to recharge would be for him to dry off completely, and then go back out in the rain. If the storm had since passed, then he was stuck there until he could find another." #bulkstories #fishquotes
10
Siria’s WebI watch in horror as the man slips from the bush, and falls towards his death. Once I'm ready, I pull myself back up to the top of the mountain to find The Cleanser staring at me with an excellent poker face. "Do you see?" he asks me. "Do you see now?" // "See what?" #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseI explain this world a little more to Cricket, and apologize for getting him into this mess. "Don't sweat it," he says. "There, here, anywhere. Who cares?" His capacity to be chill in any situation will probably always astound me. // "I appreciate your support." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYeah, hi. I need to change my credit card number, I can never remember this. I was thinking something more like "1234". Oh no, that's not how it works? Well, can I at least change the expiration date?
Story Quote"The problem was that saying the locals deserved this would be an overstatement, but saying they didn’t deserve it didn’t sound right either. She could not justify rescuing these people at the expense of the truly innocent, which yeah, included herself." #darningwars #fishquotes
11
Siria’s Web"Your time affliction," the Cleanser begins. "It is my best work. You shall be transported from place to place to witness others succumb to their ends. Some will be travelers, and some not, but they will all inevitably die, and you will be able to do nothing about it." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"We should find shelter and food," he suggests. "You say these people don't know that they are alternates? I suppose they still require that money stuff I heard about when I was studying history in my youth." // "I imagine so," I say, not a hundred percent sure. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryWith our patented dead coral reef bed, you can feel like you're sleeping on a pile of dead coral reef. How our technology works is that we wrap a pile of dead coral reef into a sheet, and call it a bed. But we didn't really make the bed—you made the bed—so now you can lie in it.
Story Quote"He was now evidently working closely with Team Keshida, and everyone in this lounge knew who he was. They didn’t seem to hate him, but they weren’t in love with him either. He took off sunglasses that didn’t make him look as cool as he probably thought." #salmonverse #fishquotes
12
Siria’s WebHe was right when he said that I wasn't gonna like what he was planning to do to me. I thought he was going to be torturing me with some kind of terrible temporal pain. But this is so much worse. He's going to make me watch people die, and I won't be able to help them. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe start walking around, looking for a place to get help, like an unemployment office, or maybe a construction crew that will pay under the table? We come across some strange people. One is petting himself on the head, and another literally can't stop laughing. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryTrump was a good president. People have the right to protect themselves with automatic weapons. Smoking only impacts those who actually smoke; not innocent bystanders.—Oh, I didn't see you there. Don't mind me. I'm just writing some wrongs.—North Korea is a great place to live.
Story Quote"The two friends went on a journey to find answers. They swam up the coast, trying to find humans who could explain their absence. The journey was proving to be longer than they thought, but they did not give up. They had to know if something was wrong." #bulkstories #fishquotes
13
Siria’s Web"Why?" I ask. "What have these people done to you?" // "Most of them have done nothing to me," he answers. "They are the agents of their own demise. All I'm doing is forcing YOU to witness. What happens to them is inevitable, whether anyone is there to see it, or not." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseAs we're walking, I notice a young woman eyeballing us from the other side of the street. Cricket is at my flank, so I control the speed. I slow down, she slows down. I speed up, she speeds up. She either wants to ask us something, or tell us something. We cross. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryHey, I know it's only your second day here, but I have to go. It's a family emergency. Just keep working, and if the phone rings, don't answer it. It's just you from the future, begging you to quit this job soon, or you'll end up retiring having contributed nothing to society.
Story Quote"In exchange for his help, he wanted to be relocated to a universe that was free from all the drama and trauma. It would have to be normal and safe, and the Ochivari were not allowed to visit it again for any reason. These seemed like fair conditions." #bulkstories #fishquotes
14
Siria’s Web"That is only a rationalization," I argue. "If you can put me there so soon before they die that I don't have time to help, then surely you can place me there with plenty of time to help. You could save them, but you choose not to. You can't call that inevitability." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"You seem to recognize us," I point out after we approach the stranger. // "Not personally," she replies. "What I recognize is that you're aware of how strange the world is. Are you able to see how weird it is that that guy is literally driving from the backseat?" #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”My university recruits the best, but our professors probably aren't good enough to teach the brightest.
Story Quote"As far as they knew, he was immortal, but they didn't know everything. Perhaps there was some weakness he quite deliberately withheld from them. That would be completely understandable. But the idea that no one won the contest? That sounded far-fetched." #bulkstories #fishquotes
15
Siria’s Web"I think you're missing a very important fact." // "That you're the villain?" I guess. "No, I didn't miss it. What you're missing is that villainy isn't something that you just can't control. If you were truly as powerful as you think you are, you could stop anytime." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket and I look over. A man is driving very slowly, holding onto ropes attached to the steering wheel. A crutch is up against his shoulder, presumably pressing down on the foot feet. "You noticed that, eh?" I ask. "I didn't think anyone else would call such things bizarre."
“Joke”#ThatMomentWhen you realize #TheWalkingDead takes place over the course of, like, 80 years, and all these characters should be in their hundreds.
Story Quote"Kindness and Cruelty weren't the only two 'postates' to have known each other before The Rapture, but they were the only opposing forces to know each other, and they were the only ones to know each other so well. They obviously didn't get along, though." #bulkstories #fishquotes
16
Siria’s WebHe shakes his head. "You're relentless. I allow very few people to talk to me the way you do." // "You are NOT letting me talk to you this way," I argue. "You're punishing me for it, and I'm just still protesting." // "True. Are you asking me to commute your sentence?" #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"When did you wake up?" she asks us. "When did you realize so many things here don't make any sense?" // Cricket and I give each other a look. I'm not great with lying. I'm a great LIAR, but I don't like doing it, so I usually don't. "We're not from around here." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I have been on several wild goose chases, and have successfully caught dozens of wild geese, so I'm not sure I can appreciate what you mean by this idiom.
Story Quote"What followed was a series of missions from Earth designed to establish relations with other cultures, determine which others could pose a threat to them, procure useful technology and knowledge, and generally protect the galaxy from these warmongers." #bulkstories #fishquotes
17
Siria’s Web"Sure," I answer. "Instead of the punishment, how about we turn it around? How about you show the people of this timeline how good you can be when you try. How about you let me save these people instead? You have the intel, and the powers. I have the drive to help." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"We are from a different world," Cricket takes over. "Well…worlds. Worlds where such things don't exist. We never had to wake up, because we were never asleep, in the metaphorical sense, I sleep all the time. We're travelers now, though. How did you…wake up?" #Hypothetiverse
Site AlertToday marks the introduction of a new multiseries about a transgalactic FTL generation ship called Extremus. Each installment will take place one year after the last. There will be 24 installments per year, and total 216 installments. The first two volumes will be back-to-back.
Story Quote"They engineered their own ship, so little should be in the way of them realizing their goal. Even so, Team Keshida, as they are collectively called, are still not extremely jazzed about this situation. They have always been rather adept at hiding it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
18
Siria’s Web"What is it about me, and the things I've done, that makes people think that I'm interested in doing the right thing. I'm thousands of years old. I rarely say it, but I'm quite literally a god. I do not care about humans. You're just toys." // "I don't believe that." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseThe woman sidesteps the part about us being from different worlds. I know the people of this universe have never heard of such a thing, but she seems to be too distressed to worry about it now. She looks away slightly. "It happened over a year ago. I saw myself." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I'm not mad, son. I'm just butthurt.
Story Quote"Everyone else seemed to agree as well, much to Olimpia’s relief. Though they had been friends for the last three years, she still felt a little bit like an outsider…like her opinion mattered less than the rest of the group. Of course that wasn’t true." #salmonverse #fishquotes
19
Siria’s Web"You don't believe I'm a god?" he tries to verify. // "No, there's no real definition for 'god'. You're just as good as any example," I clarify. "What I don't believe is that you don't care about humans. You torment us too much not to care. You're passionate about us." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"I'm a scientist, you see. I'm a scientist in any reality. But my research has never felt like mine. When I figure something out, it's always like someone else figured out first, and then I found out about it. I didn't come up with my machine…a different me did." #Hypothetiverse
Sardonic Reality CheckHere in the Midwest, we study California history and culture every day, all the way until college. If you go to a Midwest college, you're required to take at least three semesters of California study. Some want to change that to every semester. We all just wish we could be you.
Story Quote"There were other things that people couldn't do on the islands, or which would be too difficult to construct. These included camping, skiing, and freshwater activities. Still, this did not change their minds. These destinations were just for vacation." #salmonverse [wrong hashtag (#bulkstories)] #fishquotes
20
Siria’s Web"Okay," the Cleanser says. Is he actually thinking about it? "I will give this a chance. I won't give anything away. I'm just going to throw you in there, and let you figure it out. If you manage to save them, you can keep saving people. If not, we do things my way." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"You saw an alternate version of yourself? Did you speak to her?" I ask. // "No, it was like trying to yell at each other across a canyon. She was right there in front of me, but the sound didn't come through well, and the connection—whatever it was—didn't last." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryIn the psychophysics discipline, we have something called the rorschach limit. It is the closest distance from the center of a patient that a therapist can approach without their inkblots being torn apart by the patient's anger field.
Story Quote"It was like a global barfight, where some people started fighting just because someone carelessly bumped into them. Country A was trying to get to Country B when Country C got in the way, so Country C fought back, but accidentally hit Country D instead." #bulkstories #fishquotes
21
Siria’s Web"All right, let's try it," I say. I prepare myself to be transported somewhere else. // "Very good, sir," The Cleanser jokes. He reaches up, and tears the sun away, replacing it with the moon. He flicks all four fingers, causing the sky to darken, and stars to appear. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"So, that woke you up," Cricket says. "Now you know there's something else out there." // "Now I know my life is a lie," the woman explains. "It didn't just make me realize that an alternate reality exists, but that my existence depends on her, and what she does." #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingShe's lump, she's lump. She's in his head. It's not that complicated, so I don't understand why all the passing piranhas are so confused.
“Story” TeaseThere's no real microstory for today. Sure, I wrote something up, but I kept it meta, because it's supposed to be about a universe that doesn't have very much to offer. I don't care about it, and I don't want to contrive a bad story just to satisfy the series format. #bulkstories
22
Siria’s WebLastly, the Cleanser himself disappears, but without any further fancy finger tuts. I realize then that I'm standing on top of the ocean…like a wizard. It doesn't last much longer, though. I fall in and start treading water with all the others, watching the boat sink. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"If you're from another world," the woman continues, "does that mean that you can travel us to the other reality? Can you…fix this for me? For all of us? What is your purpose here?" // "We did not come with purpose," I try to explain. "It was a freak accident." #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingFor the love of God! "Al Madrigal" isn't a palindrome! If one more person tries to convince me that it is, I'm gonna lose my ish! I don't think that they're trying to gaslight me into thinking it's true, but into thinking that THEY think it's true. Why choose @almadrigal, though?
Story Quote"They had hypothesized that their alternate selves existed, but never dreamed that only one was primary, and the rest were only copies of her. The experiment alone pulled the wool from their eyes, and it was only a matter of time before the truth spread." #bulkstories #fishquotes
23
Siria’s WebI look around us, and see no land, but that could just be because of how dark it is. I realize pretty quick that the Cleanser has simply set me up to fail. I don't have the power to teleport, or to—what the…where am I? I'm suddenly on land. Did I just indeed teleport? #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"So there's no hope?" the woman questions. // "Let's not give up just yet," I offer. "First, the introductions. I'm Tavis. This is my…um, this is Cricket. And you are?" // "Tricia," she replies. "But my friends call me Dr. Sims." // "Nice to meet you, Dr. Sims." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryTonight, my company is launching our brand new dating app called Pobody's Nerfect. We guarantee to match you with the hellmate of your nightmares. You will make each other miserable literally until death do you part, and if you try to break up, we'll…well, don't try to break up.
Story Quote"Because of how long the simulation had run, there were people from the entire history of civilization, which meant for every form of government Earth ever had, someone was around who had experienced it prior to their death. Which one would they choose?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
24
Siria’s WebOnly then do I notice that there is something on my wrist. It's a little screen with what looks like a GPS location. If this is me on the island, this other dot must be the shipwreck. All I should need to do is tap on that to return. Then I can start rescuing people. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseMy face goes blank as I start to think I've retained some kind of quantum connection to my alternate self. I believe that something has been updated about the bulkverse, and it affects us right here. Yes, something has. I take Cricket by the arm. "We gotta go." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryHe's the best cop on this police force? That's an extremely low bar. That bar's so low, I can walk over it without noticing. I can shuffle my feet without tripping over it. That bar is so low, I can dig down as far as humans have ever dug before, and still step right over it.
Story Quote"Halan partially blames himself for not being one hundred percent clear, but mostly blames her for having wandered off to a restricted section. Well, it was never technically restricted, but everyone else knows where they don’t have any business being." #salmonverse #fishquotes
25
Siria’s WebSo that's what I do. I jump back into the water, scoop up one or two people at once, and then jump them to the island. Then I go back for more, until everyone is safe. Now comes the hard part, where they start asking me good questions. Who am I? Where did I come from? #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Wait, that's it?" Dr. Sims questions. // "Yeah, sorry, we have to go deal with something," I say unconvincingly. // "What is going on?" she demands to know. // "We'll meet you around here tomorrow," I lie. I feel a little bad, but not too bad. It is inevitable. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”When a woman asks a man to form a permanent bond, she doesn't ask him to marry, she asks him to josseph.
Story Quote"They stopped thinking about it, and went back to their lives, playing RPS-101 Plus, and catching up. They told Ramses about the wonders of Flindekeldan, but chose to say nothing about his alternate self, who was by all accounts, a god of his reality." #salmonverse #fishquotes
26
Siria’s WebThe crew of whatever ship that was does look confused, but they're also mostly too exhausted and traumatized to ask questions, or say anything else, for that matter. Before they can, something teleports me away. I'm in the center of a football stadium. I am not alone. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket doesn't ask questions as I'm leading him away. I can practically feel Dr. Sims behind us, debating whether she should follow or not. "We have to get out of this universe," I explain to him once we're out of earshot. "It's going to get rough pretty soon." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I think there's a dead bee flying around my house.
Story Quote"War had spread over the lands, and destroyed everything. There was nothing to see here. I told them as much before they left, but they insisted on seeing it for themselves. They had to know what the Ochivari did, and what the allies were fighting for." #bulkstories #fishquotes
27
Siria’s WebI'm in a room with a small group of people, all wearing the same thing on their wrists that I am. One of them orders an invisible computer to teleport us to some place I don't know. The whole room seems to move. I think we're on a spaceship. Then the Cleanser shows up. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"I thought we didn't have a way to get out." Cricket says. // "We're not meant to," I try to explain. "I've been expected to handle my own life, but things have changed. We came to a universe where I was never supposed to be. So my alternate self is sending help." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”We should go back to 2008. Nothing bad happened in 2008.
Story Quote"All they needed in return was a quick little trip to the past to retrieve a historical figure. He predicted the way that they would one day live, but it was more like he made it happen by showing people how much more efficient and peaceful it would be." #bulkstories #fishquotes
28
Siria’s WebThe Cleanser is mad. He's mad that this group interfered with my mission. But I tell him that he set me up to fail. I never could have saved even one of those sailor people without the ability to teleport, which these people provided. This was not what we agreed on. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseI follow my instincts, and head towards the outskirts of the city. My alternate self will send the bulk traveling machine to wherever it is I end up, but that doesn't mean that I don't want it to be far away from prying eyes. The woods are several kilometers away. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”You're in a virtual reality, my dude. Nothing you feel here is real. That's faux fatigue, that's imitation itchiness, that's sham pain.
Story Quote"Chemical rockets are fine for getting off the surface, entering orbit, and exploring the solar system across decades. They’re not good for anything beyond that. You pretty much have to have fusion if you want to reach the stars on reasonable timescales." #bulkstories #fishquotes
29
Siria’s WebBefore The Cleanser and I can get into a real argument—or these spacemen can say anything about it—another guy teleports into the ship. I get the sense that no one here likes him, not even the Cleanser. I choose to hold off judgment until I learn what's going on here. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe come to a good place to exit the universe, and sit. While we're waiting, Cricket doesn't ask me any more questions about why we're escaping, and I don't explain what's going to destroy this world one day. We just chat, and get to know each other a little more. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I moved to Kansas City to become an actress.
30
31

August 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1 2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15 16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31

September 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30

October 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31

November 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30

December 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31

No comments :

Post a Comment