2021 Story Archive

January 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
D.B. Cooper TruthMy name is Danko Bartolomew Cooper, and I'm a time traveler. I can't just go anywhere in the timeline that I want. I have to be falling first. The faster and farther I fall, the further I can go, and making these calculations can be a real pain. But it's worth it. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisEvery Thursday, it's the same thing. I don't normally drive down this street, but it's the quickest route to work after I drop my dog off at daycare. I've been using my maps app every day, not because I don't know where I'm going, but I like to watch the traffic. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm Nick Fisherman, and I can't be sure I approve this message. You see, I shot this separately from the commercial you just saw. All parts of a commercial are shot separately, which means they could tack this at the end of anything, and make it look like I approve of whatever.
Story Quote"If you don’t like it, *tive criticism is fine, but don’t go around calling me a * * * *, or a * * * who can’t even * when * is on *, you piece * *, standing there with * and * * * shoelaces around your *. Okay, maybe some of these will be a little funny." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI love to travel, and to be in places that I'm not supposed to. I can't go watch dinosaurs roam the Earth, but I can witness recent human history unfold, and gain perspective about civilization. I try not to change the past, though. I've never been one to meddle. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisAt this one spot, the app goes into dark mode. It stays there for about two seconds, and then goes back to normal. It happens without fail, and of course that's not a big deal, whatever, but I've always wondered just what the heck is going on. Why does it do that? #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I'm a brony, man; just a brony. Just brony. Jabroni.
Story Quote"Zek activated the rendezvous card by flicking it out of her hand, which transported them to some unknown location in the middle of the forest. They were alone, but not for long. Pretty soon, several spots before them started warping with technicolors." #darningwars #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthMy life was pretty great. I could find a cliff here, or a two story building there, and that would let me go back in time as far as I wanted to go. But I'm not the only time traveler, and no one else has my crazy falling limitation, and not all of them are nice. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere was a snowstorm the night before, and the roads are dangerously slick. I get a text after I've already dropped Daisy off, alerting me that work is closed. A lot of people in the office can work from home, but I can't, so I basically have the day off for free. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Your rapper name is the first word you ever spoke when no one was around to hear you, plus the last thing you said before you died. Mine is Albuquerque It Tastes Like Cyanide.
Story Quote"Without being asked, Imzadi teleported them to the bottom of the Mariana Trench, where they found themselves floating in the middle of an extensive underwater city. The Parallel natives saw everywhere as a place to live. Seemed too dangerous to Mateo." #salmonverse #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthMy ability has its limits because I always have to find the right height to fall from. I met this other traveler who had no such limits, and I don't know what I did to piss him off, but whatever it was, it was enough to make him feel like he had to trap me in 1971. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWhat should I do with my extra time? Why, I should investigate this weird dark mode glitch. It's probably just an error in the app, but again, I got all this time, so I might as well see. I turn around, and drive back past the block. Then I do it a few more times. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy parole officer's nephew: "Why is there a dead fly in this cabinet?" // Me: "That's where it goes."
Story Quote"Anyway, I keep *, and the *er I make it into the *, the calmer I begin to *. The noises of the * fade, and I find myself *, which is how I always liked it before I met *. Maybe * aren’t so bad after all. Maybe I’m just a * grump. Wouldn't that be just *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthNow, I like 1971 as much as the next guy, but only as a visitor. I wouldn't want to live here full time. There aren't any computers, and it kind of has this certain smell. I have two options to get out of here. I can make a series of short jumps…or one big jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere's not much that I can do to test this glitch, but I can get out, and see if it happens while I'm walking. I mean, I shouldn't, because it's well below freezing, but I do it, because it's important that I not be productive today. That would be a true waste. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingLou Diamond Phillip Seymour Hoffman. That is all.
Story Quote"Shortly after I * here, I was so paranoid about that possibility that I * this place apart, looking for surveillance *. I didn’t find *ing, but I’m not getting my deposit *, that’s for *. I didn’t ________ destroy the place, but I did cause a * damage." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthEach method comes with problems. The short jumps will tire me out, as they always do. I normally have to take a day or two to recover, and that's a lot of time for as far forward as I have to time travel. The big jump is a problem, because I can't get up that high. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWalking actually does help, because it's much more precise. Now I can see that dark mode turns on just as I cross what I assume is the property line for this one particular house. As soon as I cross back out of it on the other side, it turns off. It's this house. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryInterpreter: "The seer says that the sun will explode in ten billion years. Wait, I translated this wrong. Ten billion nanoseconds, he said. Wait…that's only, like, ten sec—oh, crap."
Story Quote"It’s more * to get trapped in an off-* conversation with each *. My co-*s were always just hanging out in *, and not in a way that let me * out either. We weren’t * with business yet, so we all had to * around anyway. It was so pointless, really, I * it." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm leaning towards the big jump, because I did once try a series of short jumps by skipping a few steps, and not only did it tire me out, but it completely stopped working for a few days. I never knew if I was just out of shape, or if it was a built-in limitation. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe house doesn't look different than any of the others in this neighborhood. It has brick siding on the bottom, and vinyl above, and a garage that comes all the way out from the façade. It's weed-free, and well-maintained. I would call it perfectly unremarkable. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't ask for whom the bell tolls. It just does that every day; we don't know why.
Story Quote"I’m worried it’s a * that will destroy the *, though, so I spend the next * looking for my old *. I mean, this * is ancient. It still boots up, but the * I’m not using my * computer is because I don’t want there to be any * of the * connecting to the *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthHow can I get up high enough for a big jump? I could jump off the highest building around, and just do that multiple times, but then people will start noticing that a man keeps jumping, and disappearing for years before resurfacing. We don't need that attention. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI only notice a difference when I step off of the sidewalk, and onto the private walkway, which I know I shouldn't do. There's no sign that says no solicitors, or one claiming that they'll shoot trespassers, but I just have to know. It's warmer. It's a lot warmer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryDon't count your chickens before I'm done killing the ones I don't like.
Story Quote"There are, after all, seven and a half billion people, or so. So what if someone did that? Made a restaurant just for the weirdos like me? You wouldn’t have to eat anything you didn’t want, but you would be encouraged to try other people’s odd favorites." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI think about it hard, but I already know I have only one good option. Well, I probably can't call it a good option, but it's the only viable one, at the very least. I need a plane. I need to jump out of a plane. That shouldn't be too hard, right? Piece of cake. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThere is something very, very weird about this house, and I'm in too deep. If I don't go ring the doorbell, the mystery is going to keep me up at night for the rest of my life. I'm not brave, but I figure my car is parked nearby, so they'll find my body eventually. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI sometimes like to kidnap two percent of the people in a small town, and leave their belongings right where people last saw them; ya know, to make the rest of the town think their neighbors all went insane and ran off somewhere naked.
Story Quote"It was kind of a coincidence that both parent species chose to seed life on the same planet, except it wasn’t that far-fetched, because there were a finite number of hospitable worlds available, and humans wanted to live everywhere they possibly could." #darningwars #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthJumping out of a plane isn't any more dangerous than jumping off the roof of a building. Both will kill me; one will just do it faster. Still, I've never tried it before, and I'm very nervous about it. Finding the right pilot to take me up is my first step, though. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisA large needle comes out of the doorbell as I push it. It comes out fast, and goes all the way through my finger. I thought I've felt pain before, but this is several levels above that. There's nothing I can do now except fall to my back and hope for a quick death. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Italian angels speak gnocchian.
Story Quote"People were already living in megastructures that avoided damaging large swathes of land by going more vertical. There were plans to take this further, and start hanging all of their structures from orbit, so they never had to touch the ground at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI'm an idiot. Even though I have to keep my time travel a secret, it's just not in my nature to lie. So when I try to go up in the air with a skydiver, and I reject the parachute, he immediately assumes I'm trying to kill myself, and of course, doesn't let me jump. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI roll to my stomach as I'm screaming as loud as possible. A desperate young woman is trying to get her dog to poop in the yard next door, and she doesn't hear me. She might not even see me. I may have slipped past the veil of death already without realizing it. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”It's not illegal to take your clothes off on television, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would have to be a really strong TV to support your weight while you're taking off your clothes.
Story Quote"I didn't know that * could talk, but I've always *ed to * with *s. I've been so * curious what they're *ing about, how * they are, and most importantly, what they * of humans. I am no linguistic *, but I did study it in *, and this is a * opportunity." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthNo problem, I figure. I can find any random small airplane pilot to take me up, and I'll be much more discreet this time. I'll even wear the parachute, then just not deploy it. But news travels fast in the overworld of skydiving. They all know to look out for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe door opens, but I'm unable to look back before a pair of hands grasps me at the ankles and pull me into the house alarmingly fast. I can see the door slam shut on its own just before I round the corner. The evil hands continue to drag me throughout the house. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo not fire until you see the blues of my eyes. When my eyes turn blue, it means it's become too cold for my body, and I need you to start the fire again.
Story Quote"I saw one a few * back where the * date was the same as the * date. What * there? I mean, I * what happened *. But how did the * react, and what became of * afterwards? It * have been heart*, I don’t know what I would have done if I were a * of that *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthThe more I try to find a pilot who doesn't know who I am, or what I'm supposedly planning to do, the harder it becomes. What is going on with these people? It's 1971, but they're acting like they already have access to some kind of global microblogging platform. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisDid I say house? It's more like a castle, and bigger on the inside. We go down two flights of stairs, and then up three, and then down one, which for anyone keeping track, should leave us back on the ground floor. But who knows, right? This is supernatural anyway. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI invented cookies, and I invented cream, but it was entirely different genius who thought to put them together. We finally met 90 years later, and ended up being married for the next 250.
Story Quote"It’s stuck in the * as much as I’m trapped on this *. I think at any * that I should * up and discover this is nothing * than a *, but that never happens. Perhaps a *ulation? The ceiling * belonged to a virtual * company. Yeah, that must be the *, right?" #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthNow my only hope seems to be getting myself on a regular passenger jet, but that can't possibly work. I would have to open the door while it's in the sky, and that's dangerous for everyone else. I would need to get everyone else off of it first, and that's a crime. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisFinally the dragger stops, and leaves me on the floor for a moment. I want to turn over so I can at least see what's about to kill me, but I'm in way too much pain. It's a miracle I've survived this far. It doesn't let me rest long before it lifts me into the air. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationTow Dispatch: "We can have a truck out to you in an hour. What kind of car are you driving?" // Me: "Uhh…looks like a Honda Airbag." // Dispatch: "That is not the model, sir." // Me: "Honda…Passenger Airbag?" // Dispatch: "Did you steal this vehicle, sir?" // Me: *hangs up*
Story Quote"Plenty of * don’t go to * , and they lead very * lives. Not * can be the CEO of a multinational *, and it’s foolish to dig yourself into a mountain of * just on the fraction of a * chance that it all comes * for you. I choose to be *istic, and I won’t *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthIt is a crime I'm willing to commit. The ends justify the means. I don't want to spend another day in 1971. It's already made me crazy enough to hijack a damn airplane. How bad will it get if I stay here any longer? I sit down, and start working out the details. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisIt slams me against the wall, and looks into my eyes. Its own eyes are down on its chin, while its ears are hanging underneath. A very large mouth is in the middle of its head, with sharp teeth, and a shockingly pleasant smell. I can't find its own nose, though. #ModusTenebris
Random NothingI'm always looking for that sweet, sweet sign that reads LLAMAS PERMITTED.
Story Quote"I roll my *, and take a kitchen * out of the *. I hand it to *, and before I can lay down some * rules, she slides the * across my *. It *. I don’t know what I * was going to *, but not this. This hurts. This is what * feels like? * feel this all the *?" #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthMy main priority is keeping other people safe, though the plan itself is risky. I could live my life from here on out, and while I would hate it, at least no one else would suffer. But it will be okay. I can escape and protect the other passengers simultaneously. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisThe creature hisses at me. "Why have you come?" // "I was curious," I answer, wishing I could wipe the blood from my lips. // "Curious about what?" it hisses back. // "My phone," I say. "It goes into dark mode as I pass." // "What is dark mode? That sounds fun." #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI'm writing a screenplay about a kid who finds a meteor in the woods, and then gets superpowers. He doesn't get the powers from the meteor, though. He buys them from an urban wizard later that day. I guess I don't know why there's a meteor at all; it never comes up again.
Story Quote"They looked at her, a little shocked, but not completely surprised. They knew she was all gung ho about killing the Ochivari, but she was also quite protective of her universe, and if keeping this ship around put it in danger, was that worth the risk?" #darningwars #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI also need to spend a lot of time working on the math. One thing I've not yet mentioned is that I can't choose when the actual jump occurs. It will always happen just before I hit the ground. I guess it's the sick joke part of my amazing time traveling ability. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The screen just turns darker, so it doesn't block you from seeing the road." // "That does not sound very fun," it says angrily. "You deceive me with your words!" // "I meant no disrespect." // "I suppose I can forgive the mistake of a human." // "What are you?" #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have no disappointments, no shames, nor egrets. I've had a little bit of heron.
Story Quote"Mateo reached to the back of his neck, even though he was pretty sure he wasn’t in his body anymore anyway, and this was about as real as any dream. The patch was gone, as was the pain, but he still felt some connection to it. Perhaps he always would." #salmonverse #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthA skydiving plane would be perfect, because they only go up to about 3,000 meters, which is exactly what I need for the math to work out. So now I need to work out the social aspect of this plan, to make sure the pilot flies at the altitude I need, and no higher. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You could not pronounce my name with your tongue," the creature answers. "You can call me Bringer of Death." // "Okay. Would you please let me go, Bringer of Death?" // "Will you run?" // "I cannot run," I reply truthfully. // "I am not surprised." He releases me. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryMy species evolved with what essentially come down to taste buds in our butts. Evolutionary biologists claim our ancestors used to be able to detect medical conditions through our stool, but I hesitate to believe that. My theory is that we were genetically engineered as a joke.
Story Quote"One *, I even slipped in one of my real *, just to see how it would be *. It didn’t get great *, but they actually weren’t that bad. There were just fewer of them this time, because fewer * were * in providing their *. It was only an ex*, so that’s fine." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthThis flight to Seattle seems a good of a choice as any. It really doesn't matter, as long as it can reach the right altitude. I can't believe I'm actually doing it, hijacking a plane. But I have to get home, it's killing me here. It's too far…too far in the past. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I did not know what I would find in this house," I say as I'm massaging my neck and chest. "I would not have approached if I had. I would very much like to leave, and forget this ever happened." // "You think I will be so easily fooled?" The Bringer of Death asks. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryI like the part of the movie #Breakthrough where the mother drags her son's hospital bed back to the water and drowns him again. I watched it out of the corner of my eye on someone else's screen on an airplane, so I'm not sure what drove her to do this.
Story Quote"Where do these * end? Well, some will * you into another human *, but others lead to an *, or even an insect. Some of them exit right back * at the *, so you can * again, and a few will * you into an * worker, like the * who’s explaining all this to *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthTo make it look real, I carry a black case to the airport, knowing that security is lax enough in this time period for me to get away with taking a fake bomb onto an airplane. I pay with cash, one-way, and board with everyone else. Seat 18C. I order myself a drink. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I am not trying to fool you, Bringer. I am begging for my life." // "That could be fun," he decides. "Do it better! Make me pity you!" // I get on my bloody knees and beg. I make sure he knows how amazing and terrible he is, and that only he can choose my fate. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Hot tip: if you don't have a tissue handy, you can sneeze into the back of the neck of the person standing in front of you in line. It's me, and I can't confront you about it, because I'm still on parole.
Story Quote"One leads from my * to the * about a * away, and the * is only half as long, but it goes from my *, which is already * deeply in the *. I realize that my * goal is to disappear, not just sur*. Over time, I decide it doesn’t * if I truly need to or not." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthSoon after we take off, I make my move. I hand the flight attendant a note, but she doesn't read it, because she just thinks I'm hitting on her. I coax her into doing it, and she complies with my demand that she sit next to me quietly. She demands to see the bomb. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer laughs. "Oh, it has been so long since I've tasted the fear in a man's voice. You do not know how much I yearn to leave this place." // "How long has it been?" I question. // "Centuries since The Adorned Ones trapped me here. Has the world changed much?" #ModusTenebris
Random NothingDo you think flamingos know that their food turns them pink? If not, do you think it would bother them if I were to tell them?
Story Quote"Obviously, it’s even * of a violation, however, so I've only ever done it *. And that was just to * if I was capable of it. The subject consented to my *, and I * him from any hold I had over him * afterwards. I possess no ambition to * any*, for any *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI ask for parachutes and $200,000, but I'm not sure if that's too much, or too little, because we don't have money where I'm from. The pilot draws circles in the sky while the authorities gather what I've asked for. Then we land, and I let all of the passengers go. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"The world has changed little since you've been trapped," I lie. // "The darkness," he begins. "Has the darkness overtaken the lands, as my master promised?" // "It has," I lie again. "I cannot see without my torch." I show him my phone. He is disinterested in it. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationPinky: "What are we doing tonight?" // The Brain: "Same thing we do every night, Pinky…try to make an original reference to a 90s animated series."
Story Quote"This looks like a great * to escape, which is why I can’t. They’re testing *, and because it’s starting * so easy, not to see how I * to get out, but how I sur* once I’m *. We’re probably * a volcano, or a ship. I’m staying right *, thank you very much." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce they're done refueling, we take off again, but only with the bare minimum crew. We decide to refuel yet again in Reno so I can make it all the way to Mexico City, but of course, that doesn't matter to me, because I'll be getting off long before that anyway. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"I would much like to see," Bringer says. "I caught a glimpse of the night as I pulled you in, but could not stay long. The bell only affords me one second of a proximity to freedom." That's it. That's what turns on dark mode. My phone thinks it's nighttime here. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”If I were a competitive runner, I would probably try to move my legs really fast, so I could get to the finish line first. I guess it takes someone further removed from the sport to figure this out.
Story Quote"The receptionist smiled at them, took down their info, and relayed it to the appropriate representative. Then she asked them to sit in the waiting room. No one else there was the least bit concerned about Khuweka’s form. This seemed like a nice world." #darningwars #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthOnce all of the crew is in the cockpit where it's safest, I lower the stairs, open the hatch, and jump into the air. I want to hesitate and prepare myself, but I've done enough. The math is right, the altitude is perfect, and I'm ready to sink or swim, so to speak. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"What would happen if the sun returns?" I would say I'm doing a fine job on the improv. // "That would surely kill me," he explains. // "There are some places where the sun peaks through, and they are near this place. If we venture out, we would have to take care." #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMy Girlfriend: "Will you marry me?" // Me: "Yes, yes, YES! Five times 'yes'!
Story Quote"They felt the slight tug that came each time they teleported. It was subtle, and easy to get used to, but stronger now, because they did it again. And again, and again, and again. 'Time to destination: sixteen hours, forty-two minutes,' Imzadi reported." #salmonverse #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthIt's freezing cold on the way down, but I know it won't have a chance to kill me. I can bear it for the duration. I count the seconds in my head. One. Two. Three. All the way to twenty-three. If I go for much longer, I'll hit the ground, and that will be it for me. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You would do this?" he asks out of hope. "You would do this for me?" // "You spared my life, and so I must repay you. It is our way." Yeah, I'm a better actor than I ever knew. // I think he's smiling. "We will go now. You will have no time to recover." // "Okay." #ModusTenebris
“Joke”Have you been the victim of a hit and run? Have you experienced a conflict with your neighbor? Did you accidentally kill someone? We take any case; no matter how small. You can always count on Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith, Smith & Smith.
Story Quote"I turn my * yet again. The paintings have fallen to the *, and the wall* is peeling. Chairs are turned *, and a few are broken. I have either just * to the future, or * to some kind of eerie upside down silent ghost dimension. I have to find help, and *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthJust before the trees can spear me, I open my portal, and make the jump to the future. Now this is the hard part. I've just been gathering all this momentum, and that doesn't go away on its own. The exit portal opens upside down, so that now I'm "falling" upwards. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisBringer doesn't urge me too forcefully as I'm following him through the castle maze. He understands that I'm badly hurt, and if he's been waiting centuries to walk out of here then he knows that he can wait a few extra minutes. We finally make it back to the foyer. #ModusTenebris
NanostoryThat don't impress me. I once made an apple out of a bong. The starving child I gave it to found it a lot more useful than if I had done it the other way around.
Story Quote"They have taken it upon themselves to foster the * of younger civilizations. This * comes in many forms, but what they’ve found is that our * problems are our internal *. We just keep * each other, for stupid things, like religion, and *, and skin color." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthGravity starts working against me, so while I'm able to go back up in the air pretty high, I soon reach a maximum, at which point I open another portal, about a minute into the future, and down on the ground. I do have a little leeway when it comes to the z-axis. #DBCooperTruth
Modus Tenebris"You can't open it yourself," I guess. // "Only an Adorned One can hold it open for more than one second." // "I got you," I say. I pull open the door, but immediately feel it trying to lock back into place. "Go! Go now!" // "You fool! I won't come back for you!" #ModusTenebris
Nanostory#BreakingBad didn't even get the full first season the writers wanted before it was cancelled three years ago, but now they're apparently considering no less than four⁠—FOUR⁠—spinoffs. What the hell is Nickelodeon thinking?
Story Quote"I have to * over to the * lane to pass *. Sometimes I even jog over to the exit lane, and quickly get * in, which I’m pretty * is illegal, but some * are only for * who can’t handle it. Anyway, I get off the * today, and there’s construction all over *." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI catch my breath, and look around, grateful that it worked, and I'm still alive. I don't know if I made it all the way exactly where I needed to, but it must be close enough. I know I traveled about 480 years, so it won't be too hard to make my way home from here. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisWith an evil cackle, he races out of the door, just in time for me to lose my grip. I stand on my toes, and look out the little window. He's made it to the street, where he's discovered that the sun isn't gone after all. He smolders and screams. My plan has worked. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I keep accidentally spraying my armpits with my nose spray, and shoving deodorant up my nose. I don't know how to fix this.
Story Quote"I’m happy with what I’ve ended up doing, using quick installments to tell a larger story. There’s still a reason why they’re separated, and none of them is one unbroken tale that’s been arbitrarily divided, but I do love building worlds. I always have." #clozetests #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthThe man who trapped me in 1971 appears from behind a tree, sporting an evil smile. I remind him that he agreed never to trap me again, and he confirms that this is true. But that doesn't mean I'm in the clear. He tells me that I made a mistake, and trapped myself. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI smile as the light burns Bringer's skin. Cars crash into each other so as to avoid hitting him, but they'll be fine. In under a minute, he's turned completely to ash. I can't believe how well that went. I killed some kind of demon. I didn't know I had it in me. #ModusTenebris
Fake ConversationMe: "Would you love me if I got fat?" // Her: "No." // Me: "You wouldn't?" // Her: "But only because I don't know you, and don't love you now. Please answer the question; paper or plastic?" // Me: "Paper, obviously. Do you hate the environment, you monster? We're over."
Story Quote"Very good. Thanks, Botner. I’m sure you’ll do well. Botner turns off and there’s nothing more to read about science. And you may never know who wrote it, and you’ll be left with the question of how to go about doing some small fact-checking on the page." #botner #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthIt turns out I didn't jump 483 years into the future. I jumped 483 years into the past. It's the year 1488, which is further back than I've ever been, and there is nothing in the world high and vertical enough to get me back to nearly a millennium into the future. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisNow that it's over, I reach for the knob, and try to pull the door open again. But it doesn't budge. It might as well just be a decorative hunk of metal screwed to a solid wall. I twist and pull, and pull and twist, but nothing. I'm trapped here, just like he was. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I was employee of the year two months in a row, except for the last week of the first month.
Story Quote"While a nurse for a time traveling doctor named Sarka, Freya once got hurt herself, and was given narcotics. She recalled feeling heavy and stiff, and believed she could detect the blood moving throughout her body. This was what it looked like for Zek." #darningwars #fishquotes
D.B. Cooper TruthI would die of old age trying to get home, or be so old that it becomes too taxing on my body. So instead, I'll die here. Alone. In a time before toilet paper was invented. The Cleanser laughs his ass off, and walks away through his own portal, dooming me to this. #DBCooperTruth
Modus TenebrisI killed the demon, but took his place, and for the last year, I've been looking for some other way out of the castle, but there's nothing. This is worse than the time I almost died in the woods in Maine. I can't take it anymore. Someone. Please. Come ring my bell. #ModusTenebris
“Joke”I have never recognized the name or face of anyone who has appeared on #DancingWiththeStars.
Story Quote"Nerakali was ashamed that she had done this procedure before, but glad it would help now. She taught Leona alone how to remove Mateo’s decent memories, leaving only boring ones, like standing in line, and waiting for dial-up to connect to the internet." #salmonverse #fishquotes

February 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Mind of DaltonDalton is a time traveler, who lived his life three times. It would seem that these resets were some kind of test, which he passed once he fulfilled whatever potential he apparently had. And now he's in someone else's body, and wondering if it's yet another test. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI break out of the prison castle. All it took was slipping dozens of letters underneath the side door, and waiting for even just one of them to be taken by the wind, and delivered to someone willing to try to ring the doorbell, and unlock it for one second. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryIt makes me feel bad when I walk into a room, and everyone in it either teleports away, or phase-shifts through the wall. They do this every time. Should I switch deodorant brands? Or antidimensional cross-tricklers? No, I did not make up those words. Jerk. Yeah, you better run!
Story Quote"They take me on a two mile hike, then we sit around a campfire and they share their beers with me. It was a pretty sweet experience, even though I couldn't understand a word they were saying. I wake up bright and early, and it is sunny and gorgeous." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton can tell that he's not himself, but he can't tell whose body this is. He looks for a mirror, but finds nothing of the sort. He reaches up, and starts trying to get a feel for it. Feminine figure, soft skin. Young. Perhaps far too young for all this groping. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeMy elation from having finally been released from the dark castle is shortlived. People in full hazmat suits rush up to me, stuff me in a van, and drive off. Others are there, chained up, but none of them will talk. We drive for several hours with no stops. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI'm technically a Carradine.
Story Quote"I poured the gas into the mouth of the nuclear bomb. Then I lit a match. It didn’t take long for the entire store to catch fire. I escaped with a few of my comrades, and we fled into the desert. I later learned that the whole thing was a controlled action." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonHe's in a bedroom, fit for a tween girl, supporting his theory about whose body he's been forced into possessing. He quietly opens a door, only to find that it's a closet. He opens another, but it leads to a hallway. He's hoping the third is a bathroom. It is not. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeWhen we arrive wherever, our captors drag us down a dark and extremely long staircase. They're not overly aggressive, but they maintain the pace, and we have to keep up. The other abductees don't look so good, but my castle had an endless supply of fresh meat. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryCould you tell me how deep this lake is? Is it deep enough to sink a car? I don't need to get rid of evidence; I just need to know if the lake is car deep. Don't tell anyone I asked, though. In fact, why don't you climb into this car?
Story Quote"He’s 30. We are only 19. So my parents said that if he married me before we are able to have sex, I’ll go to a boarding school. I think this is wrong. I want to be in school. I want to be close to my friends. I don’t want to be forced to stay at home." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonInstead of a bathroom, Dalton sees a swirling portal. He's never seen a portal before, but as a time traveler, he can't really be surprised by anything anymore. The smart thing to do would be to close the door, and never think about it again. So that's what he does. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe hazmat suiters continue to treat us harshly, spraying us with power-washers, and blasting us with lights. There's obviously been some kind of—I dunno, pandemic, or something. We're survivors, and I guess these people have to make sure we don't infect them. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingBehind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is a horde of angry 99%ers. They're gaining on us! Run faster!
Story Quote"5. I've hit a deer and I've flipped over a car (not at the same time). 6. I hate mushrooms and I'm vegetarian…but not for cultural reasons. When I'm inebriated I want nothing more than to have a plate of red, heart-shaped things for dessert." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThis body feels tired, so he gets her into bed, and closes her eyes. He reawakens immediately, almost like a blink, and the world has changed. He's standing on grass. Large stones tower above him. It's Stonehenge, obviously. A lone smiling man starts a slow clap. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeEven though I get that they have to protect themselves against us, they could be a little gentler. It all comes to a head when we're being escorted down a hallway, and one of the guards starts being a little too rough with a survivor. I can't take it anymore. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryI've started drinking raw water, but only at work. The idea is to get sick from it, and force them to give me workman's compensation. My coworker says my plan will fail, since I'm not getting the water FROM my employer, but I'm still gonna try. Couldn't hurt, right?
Story Quote"I first heard about it a while back, when it was on the list for a discussion I was having with someone, and was intrigued by the idea. It’s the story of a family living in northern Alberta, and how that environment changes the lives of those involved." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonOnce the stranger is done clapping, he introduces himself as The Delegator, and expresses admiration for Dalton. The portal would have apparently sent the girl to a dangerous and deadly place. They expected Dalton to fight the fight for her, but this is even better. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI literally step out of line, and run up to push the guard away. I don't want to fight, but he takes it as a challenge, and pushes back. I hit the floor. I'm well-nourished, but have never been strong. I get up, but he takes hold, and swings me into a room. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm trying to get funding for a little TV show I like to call #BreakingBad. With any luck, it'll premiere in the summer of 2019.
Story Quote"Kivi finally handed Diamond Zek to Landis. 'Due to this uncertainty, I feel it is best we inform the crew, so that we may prepare for any eventuality. I do not want to use the weapons systems, but we may have no other choice.' She turned to walk away." #darningwars #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator explains that Dalton belongs to a class of time travelers known as salmon, who have no control over their lives, but are called to help people throughout the timeline in different ways. Dalton first had to fix his own life before he could save others. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall again, and feel the back of my skull slam against the cold cement floor. A pair of arms takes hold, and pulls me into a lap. My vision is growing dim, but I see the door close, and hear it lock electronically. "Hey, wait!" a voice cries. "Who is this?" #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI cut my bird shaving.
Story Quote"She could read him just as well as before, which was odd given that he was the one whose personality had changed, but he wasn’t going to question it. It was irrelevant. Communication only mattered when trying to accomplish something, which he wasn’t." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonSo this is what he's going to do now. He'll just keep jumping to other people's minds for brief periods of time, and making different choices for them. None will last longer than several minutes, and none of the people will remember anything weird happened to them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for Three"I have no idea," the guard tells the person who's holding me. "The doors lock automatically, and there's no way to unlock them until quarantine is over. You two will just have to figure things out. Good luck with that." // I feel myself losing consciousness. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI've had something stuck in my teeth since the Triassic period. For anyone searching for a pun or clever twist in this "joke" there isn't one. It's just a dumb thing I said.
Story Quote"But I felt responsible for the woman, and so I went to her. She was sitting on the ground, her husband standing above her, screaming at her. The whole thing seemed so barbaric, but I tried to calm her down, and tell her that she would be all right." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe people he saves will move on with their lives from the moment he leaves their minds, fully believing that whatever choice he made for them was actually their idea all along. Meanwhile, he'll go somewhere else, into someone else, at some other point in spacetime. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI hear voices in the room with me, at least two of them, but things are growing hazy. The back of my head is wet, and painful. I don't pass out, but I'm not all there either. They drag me to the shower, then dry me off, and then pull me up to an unmade bed. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”You ever done #goatpoopyoga? Some people just call it #goatyoga, but there's too much goat poop for me to not call it goat poop yoga.
Story Quote"I know a lot of us will also watch the game, and although I am excited, I am also nervous. I have worked hard to get to this point in my life, and I know how proud my family will be of me. They will look at me and tell me that they are so proud of me." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonAt this point, it appears as though the Delegator expects Dalton to argue. Why should he have to do this? What's in it for him? But no. This isn't the life he chose, but it's the life he was given, and if it's his special way of helping people, then he's in. 100%. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe bed is uncomfortable without any sheets, but it's better than the tile shower, or the cement floor, so I can't complain. The voices talk to each other while I'm trying to recover. Apparently, the guards haven't distributed clothes yet, so we're all naked. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI never say "anonymous" anymore. I always pronounce it "anon-1-mous".
Story Quote"I want to say that it was a case of free will, but really...he had already touched my bladder, I was scared. I didn’t have the time to think about what I was going to do. I ran home as fast as I could and didn’t stop for a breath ’til I was in my bedroom." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonWith the explanation out of the way, the Delegator has decided to send him off to his next assignment. There will be no further interruptions. He'll complete a task, then jump to the next one, and have to figure it all out himself. Dalton can't help but be excited. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAfter a few hours, the swelling in my head has gone down, and I can sit up, and look around. Since I fell, there was always this possibility that this whole thing has been a hallucination or dream. Now I know I am in some kind of bunker with two other people. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I'm a patient care technician, and I really want to make sure I do a good job, so your feedback is VITAL to me.
Story Quote"I gave up Catholicism. This is one of those stories that I am glad that I have. I am glad that my heart was pure, and I found an answer to my question before it was too late. I am glad that I had enough common sense to take responsibility for my actions." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe Delegator charges Dalton to walk under one of the stone arches. It doesn't matter which one, because even though all of this is real, he no longer has his own body, so he's not physically present at Stonehenge anyway. He steps through, and starts his journey. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI stand up to stretch my legs. I decide there's no point being self-conscious about my body, because these two strangers have already seen everything, and I can now see them. One introduces himself as Irekenn, and the other Naledi. They are husband and wife. #QuarantineforThree
Good Frickin' PointHi, I'm a male cop, and this is my wife, a lady nurse.
Story Quote"I just don’t do well when someone hurts my pride. I know that I don’t deal with rejection well, because my ego is the biggest part of my sense of identity, and when someone uses it against me, I don’t handle it well. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonHe finds himself standing on the edge of a building. He's not one to know measurements, but a couple dozen stories would be his guess. Below him, he can see the street, yes, but he can also see several portals. More portals? Really? Okay. A man is laughing at him. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI thank them for helping me recover, and then explain a little bit about where I've been. I tell them I was trapped in a house for a year, but I don't say anything about a monster, or the fact that the doors didn't open because of magic, not because of locks. #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationMe: "Don't get me wrong, I love my wife. It's just that her breasts are so large, I keep confusing them with mountains." // @Shakira: "See?! I told you!"
Story Quote"Early vessels needed time to accelerate, and just as much time to decelerate, but even the humans managed to conceive a workaround that allowed them to reach target velocities almost instantly without turning passengers into mush against the back wall." #darningwars #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe man calls himself as The Cleanser. Ooo, ominous, Dalton is so impressed, or whatever. The Cleanser is fully aware of that he's not the person he forced onto the ledge, but he's going to make him choose which portal to jump into anyway. He just wants to have fun. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI meant to say that the doors did indeed open because of magic. Okay, I may have a concussion. I sit back down just as a guard passes by our quarantine cell, and stuffs three plastic wrapped outfits through the door slot. They're actually quite comfortable. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”I've never been able to find anything good on Craigslist. It's all just people asking me to be their serial killer partner. But, like, I work alone.
Story Quote"He had a real hard time being motivated, which was his whole thing now, but luckily, Imzadi was able to take control of the supersuit. He kept the helmet on the whole time, and sort of just stayed along for the ride. He even nodded off once or twice." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton thinks about arguing, but what would be the point of that? The Cleanser can make a dozen portals, and detect it as soon as someone has been possessed by another consciousness. All things being equal, he makes a random decision, then leaps off of the building. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeAs we're getting dressed, Irekenn and Naledi get me up to speed about what's happened. A virus swept across the planet, killing over eighty percent of the population quickly. Survivors survived because they quarantined themselves, not because some are immune. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingReece is Monkey.
Story Quote"But when we lump all those groups into the same population, I don’t want to be part of it. It makes me want to question my own bias a little bit because how can I be anti-gun when I grew up with them? I have a friend who is a responsible gun owner." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonHe lands in a swamp, and immediately climbs up to the surface so he can start swimming towards land. It's unclear whether this was a bad choice, or a good one. Perhaps one would have taken him to a field with 72 virgins, or maybe all but this one led to volcanoes. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey call it the bringavirus, or the bringer virus, which immeditely makes me think of the monster that I let die in the sunlight. Could that…? No. No, that couldn't possibly have anything to do with it. Unless… Oh my God, I did this. I released the virus. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI like nuse photos.
Story Quote"The customer who works in the store, the customer who is savvy and research-savvy enough to see a difference on the box, or the one at the cash register? This is one reason I stopped purchasing “wet” applesauce and started buying the squeezy variety." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonHe doesn't stop moving when I reaches the swamp bank. Alligators can walk on land, and who knows what else is lurking in the woods, waiting to kill him? Keep moving, look for shelter, and hope that the Cleanser shows up at some point, and sends him back to safety. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeObviously I say nothing to them about my suspicions. I may have released the creature that eventually spread some kind of deadly virus that killed most of the population of the planet, but I couldn't have possibly known that would happen. I did what I had to. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingMe chillin' in the IMDB message boards in 2021, like, "where e'erbody at?" They're at Borders.
Story Quote"So I went and bought the garlic bread from the grocery store and purchased a can of chicken broth…cause soup needs the broth. A little bit of this and a little bit of that, and I am in the soup bliss. I am hoping this soup is more savory than bland." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton walks for miles until he comes across a field of portals. The land between them is thin, like a balance beam. On the other side of a field is an upright portal that appears to show the inside of a house. The object is to get to that portal without falling. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI covertly change the subject, because I don't want to think about the fact that I singlehandedly destroyed civilization. I ask them more about themselves, and also tell them about my own life before the virus. They owned and ran an apartment complex together. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Cancel #BreakingBad, you cowards!
Story Quote"At this point, the standard human reaction would be to marvel at the skill of the plant’s operator, who has apparently decided to use its many complicated arms and legs to celebrate Japan’s 125th year of reign in the world’s foremost soccer league." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonHe figures the most sane option would be to turn back, and go around, or some other way, but that is not an option. He's now surrounded by portals on the ground, so he either risks jumping into one of the mysteries, or carefully makes his way to the obvious goal. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThey seem like such a lovely couple at first, but then they start telling me anecdotes about some of their tenants. It becomes clear how racist they are. They act like they saved a bunch of black people from gang life by graciously giving them a place to live. #QuarantineforThree
NanostoryWe call them gas guzzlers. In England, they call them petrol puzzlers.
Story Quote"The question is, if there are some who don't believe it, what do they believe? What a perfect way to answer that question: Saint Peter, shut the door. I told you so. I love the idea that God would get that upset with us for going around unregenerate people." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton starts tiptoeing through the field, nearly falling in many times. There are larger spots of land since the portals are circular, and don't line up with each other like hexagons would, but they are of varying sizes, to make the trip harder, and less straight. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI try to remain polite as I listen, because we're going to be stuck in this room for weeks, but it's exhausting. I simultaneously can't make them think I'm also racist, because that will come back to bite me in the ass later, I'm sure of it, that's my luck. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingUsing heat vision to operate my smartphone.
Story Quote"It wasn’t the worst possible place to live, but it wasn’t civilized either. They built a latrine in the ground, and wiped themselves with leaves, and no matter how intricate they made their Crusoe dwelling, the toilet situation wouldn’t ever get better." #darningwars #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonFinally, he makes it all the way to the final portal. The image on the other side is clearer. It's a nice house in a nice neighborhood. The Cleanser is leaning against the edge, and slow-clapping, like The Delegator was, though this is not sincere, but sarcastic. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI am not so good at hiding my feelings. They detect the change in my demeanor. Otherwise unprompted, they start arguing with me, and making claims that they can't be racist, because of all of their black customers. That's so not the point, but what can I say? #QuarantineforThree
Fake ConversationIndeed: "Apply?" // Me: "Indeed, Indeed. Apply."
Story Quote"Intellectually, he knew that not being worried about anything could get him into trouble. After all, risks were still there, as they were a part of life. But it was a nice change of pace, knowing that everything would turn out okay, if that wasn’t true." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe Cleanser is impressed that Dalton managed to get through the portal field, but bored with the whole thing. With barely a thought, he reaches over, and knocks Dalton into one of the portals he spent all that time trying to avoid, presumably because it's funny. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeNormally, I would remove myself from this situation before I did or said something I would regret, but there is nowhere to go. Well, almost nowhere. There's a bathroom, and a closet. They may need the former, so I just go into the latter, and shut the door. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingThe enemy of my enemy is my friend. Anyone who is a friend of my friend is a friend of mine. I have a lot of friends.
Story Quote"So if I suddenly came into $6 million, what would I do? I think it would be nice to take a year to see the world. I’d head out to the moon, or maybe off to Mars, or maybe just jump in a private jet and take a couple of sweet helicopter rides." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThis is unlike the other portals. Those instantly took him right to where he was going, but with this one, he keeps falling. Colors and electricity swirl around him, and over his body. Or rather they move across the body he's possessing, and he is losing control. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI'm back in the closet now, ha-ha-ha. Though, I technically never came out of the closet. I just teleported out of it one day years ago, and didn't tell anyone about it. I half expect the couple to come apologize, but it's nothing but silence. Eerie silence. #QuarantineforThree
Nanostory"I said five camels! That's four camels! Now one of us isn't gonna get a camel. Sorry, Short Round; it looks like you're sitting this one out. Or, standing, as it were." #reciteamoviequotefrommemory
Story Quote"I think to myself for a moment and rush over to my room… I see that my body has disappeared. I sense something of course, but I had never suspected this… I race through the dark building into the grass field where everyone has been getting slaughtered." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton can feel his consciousness being peeled away from the body he was borrowing, like tape that really doesn't want to come off. Once separated, they drift away from each other, the body to one exit portal, and Dalton's mind to another, where it finds a new home. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeI fall asleep in that closet, and wake up to a ruckus outside the door. I'm too scared to open it at first, but then I hear a choking sound, and know that I have to. Irekenn is squeezing the life out of Naledi. I have no idea why, but I have to stop it anyway. #QuarantineforThree
Total LieI keep thinking I'm gonna have time to finish my chores, but then the girl in the back of my trunk kicks the taillight out again, and that takes up the rest of my day.
Story Quote"I still do that sometimes, but they let me now. I went with them when they went to visit my granny and the park she lives near. I wanted to go home with them but they wouldn’t let me, so I waited for them at the house. I got my mom’s last bite of chicken." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton finds himself in a huge crowd of people. They're all smiling and laughing, so he doesn't feel like he's in any danger. Something bad might be coming, or none of this was planned, and he just ended up in this body randomly. It appears to be someone's wedding. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIrekenn, breathing heavy and drooling with rage, lets go of his wife's body before I can get to them. "It's done," he says. "Your turn." He's much larger than me, so I know I have no chance. As he's lunging for me, I grab the lamp, and bash it over his head. #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingI had an affair with my wife.
Story Quote"If so, I’d like to give a heartfelt thanks. A big red heart to go with it. It’s very warming. I’m amused. This post reminded me a lot of something that happened to my sisters and me when we were very young. We got a kitten when we were maybe two or three." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonDalton notices some people walking around wearing hooded robes, and avoiding eye contact. He can't help but ask the nearest person why. She tells him that—whoever they are—their presence could potentially disrupt the timeline, and that it's best no one sees them. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeIn the movies, a lamp will always shatter, and the person who was hit just stumbles a little. This thing is strong, though, and heavy. Irekenn trips, and knocks his head on the bedpost. Blood spills out of it like a tipped over cup. I'm horrified, and frozen. #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”There are actually only four stages of grief: passive acknowledgement, eating, sleeping, and moving on with your life. This may only apply to sociopaths like me.
Story Quote"I've bought things that deter rodents, and I put small amounts of poison in the walls and floors. It's always the same: for three weeks, they are gone. Three weeks. Then they come back. The wads of mouse poop in the utility room? I've never seen that before." #botner #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonAs Dalton is wondering whose body he's possessing, and whether he too should be wearing a robe—or if anyone here will recognize him as an imposter, just like The Cleanser did—one of the robed people approaches him, and speaks in a whisper, asking him to step away. #MindofDalton
Quarantine for ThreeThe door opens, and a man in a mask and face shield—but no hazmat suit—steps in. "How many people are in this room?" he asks me. "Both dead, and alive?" // "Four," I answer him. // He shakes his head. "No. Irekenn's wife died two years ago. He murdered her." #QuarantineforThree
Random NothingIt looks like the cat's out of the bag. Let's test the idea that there's more than one way to skin it.
Story Quote"Lowell and I step back down, and jump to a different part of the body. The egress technician says nothing, but gestures for us to leave the room. It’s clear that we’re meant to follow the hallway lights, which lead us to a beautiful botanical garden." #darningwars #fishquotes
Mind of DaltonThe robed person escorts Dalton underneath the seats, and removes her hood, explaining that she's an alternate version of herself. He doesn't know who she is, or what she's talking about, and it seems to show, because she starts to grow suspicious of him. He's been made. Again.
Quarantine for Three"What are you talking about?" I question. "I'm looking at Naledi's body right now." // "The virus brings back dead people, but only as hallucinations. We think it has to do with guilt. Come. We need to figure out why you can see other people's hallucinations." #QuarantineforThree
“Joke”Dorothy had straight friends too.
Story Quote"People were waiting in line for their turn at a booth, where someone was handing out hooded robes, but that wasn’t the weird part. They were already obscured, as if they were paintings, and someone had carelessly wiped their faces off with the charcoal." #salmonverse #fishquotes

March 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
McQuaela The SprinterMy name is McQuaela Causey, and this is the story of how God both made me a runner, and made it so that I hated running. I've never wanted a superpower, and I certainly wouldn't have wanted one that involved exercise, but these are the cards that I was dealt. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI'm in an underground bunker, which they built never thinking they would actually need it, but here we are. A virus has wiped out nearly all of humanity, and it was technically all my fault. I released the creature that carried the virus. And now only I can stop it. Seer of Death
“Joke”Here's a lie for ya. I'm gonna die one day.
Story Quote"What did we do, you ask? We shopped, we talked, we ate dinner, and we watched movies. We didn't actually get to do any of those things the whole time, but what we did do was talk for hours and hours on end. It was nice to reconnect after all these years." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterIt started in gym class. I was a freshman, so of course I had run before. I don't know what changed, but I figure it had something to do with puberty. I'm slowly rounding the track with all the other kids who don't care about it when a bully pissed me off. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAs some authority figure is escorting me, he explains why he pulled me from the isolation room. "The idiots who brought you in didn't immediately tell us that you lived in the house right where the virus originated. Had I known, I would have handled it differently." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”It will be so amazing when we finally cure #COVID19, and it will undo all the bad things that happened over the last year. All the people who died from it will come back to life, all the racist cops will go back to not being racist. It will be awesome, just you wait. #coronavirus
Story Quote"I mean, it’s genetic, right? He knows everything about me, because, right after we met, he dug deep into my past, and I was too afraid to tell him my full name, or where I went to high school or if I ever drank vodka in my bedroom as a teenager." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe said something gross about my breasts, which are notably large, and I guess not in a good way; not to him. He's an athlete, so after his quip, he was able to bolt off before I could retaliate. Well, just because I hate running doesn't mean I can't do it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't live in that house," I say. "I was trapped." I sigh, not wanting to tell the truth, but feeling compelled. "I found an evil creature living there, and had to trick him into going into the sunlight, or he would kill me. It worked, but then I took his place." Seer of Death
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "The terrorists are almost through the wall. Is there a back way out of here?" // Me: "Yeah, it's in the front."
Story Quote"In fact, there are four people who are sure to come. I have no clue as to who else was invited. At least, I didn’t think so until after I had left. Maybe those four won’t show up. Maybe they weren’t invited. Maybe they don’t know that there’s a party!" #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI leave the other slackers in the dust, and start overtaking the bully's lead. I shout for him to come back, which I shouldn't have, because it alerts him to the fact that I'm chasing after him. He's picking up speed. That's fine, though, I can do that too. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe man stops, and gives me a look. He doesn't say anything for a while. "Tell me everything. Tell me before we go in there…and I'll tell you what you should tell them. You won't be able to help us if they get distracted by the blame game." // So I expound my story. #SeerofDeath
Story Quote"He left to go talk to them and I got mad because I was supposed to tell them before they moved. I went to go talk to them and found that they had moved and I wasn't invited to the wedding. My fiancé was there though. He was not at the wedding. I was so mad." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI'm making a huge scene, and I start to get the sense that everyone is watching us. The coach is matching my volume, trying to quell whatever is happening between us. It is not she who puts a stop to it, though. It's me. It's me, and whatever it is that I am. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Okay," the man says. "Let me do the talking. You'll just screw it up." He reaches for the last door, but stops. "I should probably tell you that my name is Rolio Canard." // I balk. I know that name. That is the name of a fictional character…MY fictional character. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I was a doctor in high school.
Story Quote"My mind is blank, and the thoughts that have been swirling around in there since I decided to leave, now seem to have no connections to each other or the outside world. I can’t think of what to do next, or how to move forward. I feel adrift, rudderless." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI feel a sort of rippling heat overcome my body, from my toes, all the way up to my head. My vision blurs for half a second, and when my sight returns, everyone is gone. I'm still on the high school track, but no one else is here. It's also a little darker. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWhat you have to understand about me is that I'm not really a fiction writer. All of the stories I tell are real; they just mostly happened in other universes, and other planets. Rolio Canard should not be here. It's not impossible, but I never knew he came to Earth. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Banana? Mine doesn't look like a banana. Should it look like a banana?
Story Quote"Just then, we hear a rustling in the bushes. It could be some kind of alien rabbit, or a person, and if it’s a person, it could be an ally, or an enemy. They stop talking, but don’t approach. They just wait patiently. Finally, a figure appears. It’s me." #darningwars #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI jiggle my head, hoping this illusion goes away, but of course, it doesn't. The twilight still hangs over the empty field. Well, it's not quite empty. A figure approaches from the shadows, slowly and calmly, but not menacingly. I don't think I should run. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThere's no one in the world named Rolio Canard, and I've not actually publicized the name, so unless he randomly hacked my cloud account, there's kind of no way this isn't the real Rolio. I have no more time to question it, though. We're in the room where it happens. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My body is a temple, which is why I like to go inside every once in awhile to angrily flip the tables over, and throw out all the merchants and money changers, like Jesus did that one time.
Story Quote"They grew quite used to ignoring temporal ethics while they weren't in control of their own actions, but now it was up to them to decide. Was it right to let the team adapt this advanced technology to their own world? What did the Prime Directive say?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterThe dying light hits an unfamiliar face, but I still don't think I should run, and not only because I don't know what will happen if I do. He introduces himself as The Gravedigger, but promises that it's not a serial killer moniker. He literally digs graves. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathA group of people are spread around a large table. They sit far from each other, wearing both masks and face shields. People in hazmat suits line the walls; presumably the assistants. They look at me with very serious faces. I don't feel like I should even breathe. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryLeer cheating is when you leer at someone outside of your relationship. It doesn't have to be a cheerleader, but it would be nice. Lear cheating is when you watch a play other than King Lear. Cher leading is when you show Cher where to go.
Story Quote"It sounds silly, but if you want to know how to do something or say something—as opposed to waiting for a deadline and learning a new vocabulary—at your school, I can talk you through how to get started. And because I know a lot of people, I can get started." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterThe Gravedigger—whose real name is Halifax—apologizes for the way I discovered my time travel ability, saying that most do it in private on instinct. I didn't know that I traveled through time, but I was really starting to suspect, due to all the evidence. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Open the blast doors," Rolio commands. One of the hazmat suiters presses a button on the wall, which reveals a window to another room. Two young boys are sitting at a wee table. "What can you tell me about the people in this room?" he asks me. "How many are there?" #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI need ten CCs of knowing what CCs are!
Story Quote"The violent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado has become the final straw in a series of extremely divisive and emotionally charged social debates, from gun control to the treatment of those with mental illnesses. Let me be very clear, and as informed as possible." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterWe continue talking. He explains what I am. I was born with this ability, but no one really knows how it happens. It seems to be genetic in a general sense, but not a hereditary trait that I got from my parents. They probably have no idea that I'm like this. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI start describing the boys. One has lighter hair, and the other keep scratching at the back of his neck. Obviously only one of them is real, and no one else here can see the other. One of the men at the table opens a folder, revealing a picture of the hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”You can't die in a racecar. It's physically impossible.
Story Quote"There’s a plate holder. It’s hard to make out the rest because the back part's missing. I’m very disappointed to find out that it’s not just some kind of joke. I’m so excited! Did someone send me a gift? Can I open it now? Can I say thank you? Can I wear it?" #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI ask Halifax how far back in time I went, and he says that I actually went forward over ten years. I've been missing for ten years!? He says that might not be true. I may be destined to return to my time at some point, but that's up to me. I get to choose. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe one scratching at his back isn't real. The other one is just imagining him. "Do they all end in death?" I ask. "Does everyone kill their own hallucinations?" // "Not that we've found," a man in a military uniform answers. "They do seem to argue a lot, though." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”I need the money to found a special school in New York where students can learn how to act like animals. I can teach them dog tricks, and bird calls, and cat skills.
Story Quote"It’s possible that this is an isolated incident. But some security experts are skeptical. 'The notion that it’s really easy for hackers to break into my account if I type in this correct password…is dubious,' says Randy Abrams, security specialist." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI think about the prospect for a moment. If I really am a traveler, then there should be no big rush to return to my old life. What if it happens again? How does it work? How can I control it? How far can I jump? Or run, as it were. I need to practice first. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathI must say, all these people are taking it well that I appear to have some ability to see other people's hallucinations. I have a character who can do this. His name is Verner Holt, and you'll notice that that's not my name. I don't understand what's happening to me. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryMy wife is on Bumble and I'm on Tinder. We somehow got matched to each other in this glitchy modern version on The Piñacolada Song.
Story Quote"There are no instruments, and no radio. I’m just hoping for the best. There is nothing more terrifying than taking over an airplane by yourself. I could attempt to write something to make you feel better about it, but I’m sure I would fail miserably." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI ask him for help figuring all this out when he tries to leave. He apologizes, but it's not his position to help someone like me. For a second, I think he's being racist, but then it passes, because I'm pretty sure it's just some kind of time travel rule. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Bring in the next subject," another military man demands." A hazmat suiter shuffles the boy away. The other doesn't follow, but once the boy exits the room, he can't exist in there anymore, so he disappears in a puff of smoke. It's more than just a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Me when I'm trying to figure out how to upload a GIF to twitter:
Story Quote"I turn my attention to Pryce. He regards me politely, but like he has a magic bullet in his arsenal, and he knows his argument wins, regardless of what I say. He’s just waiting for his moment to drop the mic and ruin my whole day. I have to preempt him." #darningwars #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterAll he tells me is that the faster I run, the further through time I can go. There's obviously a limit to it, and I'm immediately aware that I can't go back to dinosaur times, because I only jumped ten years the first time, and was already going pretty fast. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThey start sending test subjects into the other room one by one so I can continue to prove my abilities. By the time it's over, I realize that they'll want to study me next; with scans, needles, and maybe even knives. Well…I guess they oughta do what they gotta do. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingHow do I train my eyes to focus exclusively on the subatomic particles that are floating in front of my face?
Story Quote"The bliss wore off over time, or at least lessened in intensity, but his sense of completeness remained. The constant carefree attitude would have gotten on people’s nerves, so this was a good balance. Now, all of it was—hopefully only temporarily—gone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI'm about to start running, to figure out exactly what triggers it, when I realize I'm not in a safe place. Just because people already saw me disappear ten years ago, doesn't mean I should keep revealing my secret. I have to find a remote spot to practice. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathNext, they bring in a group of subjects, and expect me to determine which ones are real, and which are hallucinations. I've gotten much better at seeing the signs since Naledi in the isolation room, so I start pointing out the real people, I'm right on all counts.# SeerofDeath
Fake ConversationI was trying to eat my muffin when my dog, Daisy stood up from her bed, and said, "I want the chocolate!" So I yelled back, "you can't handle the chocolate!" Just kidding. I gave it to her.
Story Quote"I just hope it's a short term thing. And, that it doesn't affect my job, because I really like my job. Yesterday I went for my 28 week check up. I had asked about my nausea since I noticed that it seemed to be lessening, as well as my food aversions." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterOf course, I don't have access to a car, but the high school is kind of on the edge of the city, so I shouldn't have to walk too far to get away from civilization. I take the opportunity to reflect on the life I missed, and wonder what became of my family. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathUntil now, it was unclear who was in charge. I didn't think Rolio, and everyone seemed pretty equal here. The truth becomes apparent when a woman in a pantsuit stands up. "I've seen enough. I think we all realize what must happen next." Yes, the needles and knives. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Am I tired of you asking questions, and then immediately answering them yourself? Yes.
Story Quote"I know how hard it is for a TOTALLY BOY to kiss a GIRL. (That’s how I refer to myself to my own friends). I can get just about ANYTHING ELSE done, much to Celeste’s chagrin, but kissing is the one thing that I just can’t manage. So I back off a little." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI am so lost in my own head—worrying about fate and destiny, and if I'll ever end up going back home, or not—that I barely notice in time that I'm about to trip over something. No, it's a someONE. The only question now is whether he's just sleeping…or dead. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathRolio regards me uncomfortably. "It's okay." I say, before turning to address the group. "If you can find a way to experiment on me without killing me, though, that would be lovely." // "I make no guarantees," the leader says with the cold detachment that she needs to survive.
Fake ConversationMe: "Alexa, what's on my schedule today?" // @Alexa99: "Nothing is on your schedule. You are a loser."
Story Quote"'Boring,' the soldier says. 'She’s a slut. Why do you think you had to go so far as to run away?' He turns my head so he can see my eyes. 'Shut up, kid. You really have no sense of shame at all, do you? I don’t like these questions either, you know that.'" #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterBefore I can check him for a pulse, he gets up, drunk and stumbling around. Trying to keep his eyes on me just makes it harder for him to regain balance. His reluctance to set down his bottle makes it even harder. Finally, he's upright, and he recognizes me. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathWith no further instruction, the hazmat assistants carefully escort me down the passageways. They get me cleaned up, and let me rest for the night. A doctor comes in to tell me that the experiments will begin tomorrow. But there's no tomorrow when you're underground. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI spent seven months in Antarctica, studying the effects extreme cold weather has on dead bodies. I wasn't meant to be studying that, but my team was really pissing me off, so I altered the plans.
Story Quote"She laughs. 'You will help me. You have to.' // At the beginning, I was confused by the entire experience. I felt both privileged and like a fraud to be part of it. Then I remembered my PhD and the structure of the experiment that I had been part of." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe cries my name, and starts ranting about how his life was ruined, but that he doesn't blame me. He knows someone took me, and it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't HIS fault, and he's just glad that I'm back. Yep. These are the consequences of my disappearance. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathAn alarm wakes me up in the middle of a cycle. I'm groggy and confused, and can't stand up straight. I'm grasping at the walls, looking for the lightswitch, when the door opens. I was on the wrong wall. Rolio and a man come into the room. "There's been an outbreak." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingSounds like a lot of fun, I don't wanna do any of that.
Story Quote"I wanted to be me. I got a job in entertainment instead. The job: I work for myself as a freelance illustrator and designer. I do graphic design work, print advertising for corporate clients, and offer art consulting for print and web-based businesses." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI realize that this is the jerk who insulted me on the track. Well, I shouldn't call him a jerk. For me, only moments have passed, but it was ten years ago for him. I shouldn't judge him without knowing him. That's what he did to me, and I'm better than that. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"When this many hallucinations get together, things get bad," the other man explains. "The agitation we cause real people compounds, and makes everything so much worse. Fights break out, people get hurt." How odd, this hallucination calling himself a hallucination. #SeerofDeath
“Joke”My house is zombie proof. I keep a lot of zombies there, so it's proof that they exist.
Story Quote"What he said before was right. Rules are necessary, even when they seem cruel or wrong. I don’t think I misjudged his character, but I’m already starting to see the reasoning behind some of his decisions. The crown is on my head now…and it’s heavy. " #darningwars #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI tell him it's okay, that he didn't have anything to do with my disappearance. I ran off on my own to start a new life, and I hold no grudges. Again, the incident just happened to me, but I'm going to have to most past it, because he would never understand. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's not safe here anymore," Rolio adds. "As I'm not an Earthan human, the virus affects me differently. I maintain a little more control over my faculties. As you can see, the husband I left in a lost future is still here, but we're both aware of what's happening." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryI always leave the toothpick where it is in my sandwich. It keeps it held together nicely, and it tastes good. You would think the mint toothpicks would make it better, but no, not in a sandwich.
Story Quote"It bounced against walls and tables and chairs, eventually ending up kind of heading back towards her, but not really. She reached out and caught it with ease, and without even ever looking at it, like a real life superhero. It was honestly pretty hot." #salmonverse #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe finally lets go of his bottle, and rubs his eyes so he can get a better look at me. He grabs a canteen, and splashes water in his face to get an even better look. He points out that I haven't aged a day, but he's still drunk, so he can't trust his eyes. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"It's nice to meet you, just the same," I say to the husband. // "Likewise, now let's go." We leave to navigate the field of angry infected, caught up in their own delusions. A real boy notices Rolio, and decides to attack him directly. His husband fights back. How? #SeerofDeath
NanostorySometimes I think I can feel the electricity surging through my body every time the cops shoot me with their tasers because I keep killing terrorists without authorization. But then I'm like, "nah, that's not possible". You can't feel electricity.
Story Quote"I’d be okay with the fact that I don’t remember the woman’s face, but I do remember her voice. She used to sound kind of annoying…but now she sounds like an angel. I’ll call you tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow, Ms. Bailey. Goodbye. RIP Ms. Bailey." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe doesn't believe me, and claims he's not as drunk as I think. He's apparently mostly just sleepy, but now he's waking up. He insists that I haven't aged, and sixteen to twenty-six is too big of a gap for me to try to make up some BS about good skin cream. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathHow is it possible that this hallucination is making physical contact with a real person—one who's not even capable of seeing him in the first place? They both seem as confused as I am, but there is no time to discuss. The mob is growing angrier, and more violent. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhenever my husband comes home from the late shift, I don't want to make him think I don't want to talk to him, but I'm usually really tired, so I pretend to be awake.
Story Quote"I was basically incapacitated. I was barely able to stand or walk. But every time I went to the store, or a restaurant, I told people I was a military veteran. That was all I could remember—how to tell people I was in the military and that I had been hurt." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe's relentless, thinking I must be an alien, or a vampire, but he assures me he's fine with it. He just wants to know the truth, he thinks he's owed that much. I have to get out of here. I'm sick of hearing his conspiracies, even if they aren't unwarranted. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathThe infected come upon us like a swam. They're attracted to us now, for they know we're different. The people know I can see their hallucinations, and the hallucinations know it too. There's no way out. No door, no air vent. All I can do is scream, "everybody stop!" #SeerofDeath
Savage CriticismI'm the one who bought @jack's first tweet as an NFT for $2.9 mil. because I'm a loser. I'm joking about being the one who bought it, but not about the buyer being a loser. You could use your money to help end starvation and homelessness, but no…you chose to spend it on NOTHING.
Story Quote"There’s a web of tiny clear water drops suspended in the air in the kitchen // There are tiny strands of electric current floating in the air // Between my hands and the lights // It’s raining inside my house, and I can’t turn it off." #botner #fishquotes #fishpoetry #poetry
McQuaela The SprinterWith no warning, I just take off. Surely he won't chase me, and even if he does, he won't be able to keep up, because he's still drunk, no matter what he says. I'm wrong. I can feel him nipping at my heels. Whatever, I can go where he can't follow: the past. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of DeathTo my surprise, everybody stops. The hallucinations, the real people. They all stare at me, like soldiers waiting for orders. Even Rolio and his husband appear to bend to my words. I'm more powerful than anyone could have guessed. I can stop this. I can cure them. #SeerofDeath
Good JokeThe Five Worst Websites Called @screenrant (and Five Tired and Formulaic Websites That Are Also Called Screen Rant)
Story Quote"A kid shivering in the woods, not knowing what happened to him, unable to tell me anything about it? I wondered if his mother had made him write that story. That was the only reason a six-year-old boy would lie to his mom. He wasn’t telling the truth." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterJust like before, a rippling heat overwhelms my body, clouds my vision, and sends me through the timestream. I slow down to catch my breath. He catches up to me, and does the same. Wait, what? The sun's out, it should be the past. How could he have followed? #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Back up," I order. Everyone backs away from me. I guess I could imagine being able to control hallucinations, but the fact that the regular people are just as susceptible to my demands is bizarre, and truthfully unsettling. I must take care not to abuse this power. #SeerofDeath
Spec ScriptEXT. POOP PLANET - TOMORROW // Major Spaceswords is here. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: Yeah, poop. // Darth Lollipop walks over from the moon. // DARTH LOLLIPOP: I'm here to kill your sword. // MAJOR SPACESWORDS: But first…we juggle. // CUT TO BLACK. SUPER: THREE SECONDS EARLIER.
Story Quote"I’m seeing power in objects around me that wasn’t there before, and my curse is helping it happen. It’s getting harder to hide. I’m only hiding myself because it’s safer than talking to my neighbors, who think I’m a dangerous psychopath. Even though I’m not." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterThe drunk bully says he saw the fire emanating from me as I was running, and that he was close enough for it to consume him too, but he felt like he was dying, so I'm worried if we try again, something will go wrong. I can't have his death on my conscience. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Everyone go back to your rooms," I continue. "Stay there, and relax. Drink when you're thirsty, eat when you're hungry, use the toilet when necessary, and wash your hands regularly. Do not commit violence, wait for instructions, and most importantly, don't panic." #SeerofDeath
“Joke”Ugh, that was my gynecologist. It turns out that I'm eight months pregnant. Give me another drink.
Story Quote"Pryce left many things that I will need to learn, but they’re not organized, because he never planned on stepping down. 'I’m afraid—and I hope not to lose your confidence for it, but—I don’t know what that is.' // 'We don’t either,' the woman explains." #darningwars #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterFortunately, we are still alone, even though it's the middle of the day. We decide to get more information about when we are. I ran about as fast as last time, but I don't know how sensitive the time difference is, or what. We search for a newspaper kiosk. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Rolio, and…" Damn, I never caught his name. "…Rolio's husband, stay back, so we can talk." They follow me to an empty storage room. "First of all, what is your name?" // "Finn Hasenkamp," he answers, in a monotone that makes it clear he is still under my spell. #SeerofDeath
Random NothingI owe a lot of money to a lot of giant anteater monsters. What are they gonna do with all that platinum, you think?
Story Quote"When he first started jumping forwards in time, Mateo realized he would have to say goodbye to everyone he loved. This truth has held despite the fact that half his friends are time travelers, and the other half are immortal. Everyone leaves eventually." #salmonverse #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterBefore we find a newspaper, we come across a bank with one of those electronic signs by the sidewalk. It's showing us the temperature, but then it changes. March 29, 2021. We jumped another eleven years. For those keeping track, that's twenty-one years total. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"Uhhhhh…at ease, soldiers." // It's not a real magical password, but it's enough to get my sentiment across. Rolio and Finn break free from my control, and return to themselves. "That was…" // "Painful?" I suggest, assuming the worst. // "Euphoric," Rolio corrects. #SeerofDeath
NanostoryThese are my mothers from another brother. If you think that sounds funny, you're not woke enough.
Story Quote"All those children that died are haunting me…some are still alive but more haunting than others. I am screaming again, running around and kicking and screaming like a wild animal. But no matter what I do, I am only making myself even more nervous." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterI apologize for getting him into this, and promise that I'll figure out how to get us home. I just need to understand why it is I always jump forward, even when I'm trying to go to the past. It would be foolish to try again without knowing how to control it. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"How do I control myself?" I ask. "Being able to manipulate infected people isn't what's going to save their lives. Sure, I can stop them from killing each other—as long as it doesn't wear off at some point—but that doesn't actually solve our problem. It is no cure." #SeerofDeath
Random NothingEric Bal IV.
Story Quote"And I can see that in the corner of the room I’ve been sleeping on for the last two days. 'What the hell do you think you’re doing, you dirty rat?' // I open my eyes and recognize the voice coming from my left. I look to the floor, then quickly look up." #botner #fishquotes
McQuaela The SprinterHe takes a look at the world around us, and smiles. He tells me his slate's been wiped clean, and that we have both been long declared dead by now. Perhaps this is the best place for both of us, where we can start fresh. I'm not so sure he's wrong. Not yet. #McQuaelaTheSprinter
Seer of Death"I didn't get a chance to tell you," Rolio begins. "You can't pass the virus on to other people. You're not a carrier, so you can move about freely. That presents an opportunity." // "An opportunity to do what?" I ask. // "To stop all of this before it even happens." #SeerofDeath
NanostoryWhen I was in driver's ed, I learned the 'ant technique'. Basically, it means that I drive down the center going however fast I want, while oncoming traffic drives on either side of me. If you knew anything about ants, you wouldn't be like, "why is it called the 'ant technique'?"
Story Quote"Would I take up that trade for the rest of my life? No…don’t want that life. The world needs more good guys like me, like everyone, not more killers. I will never end my life…if the world ends with a bang or a whimper, I will be a happy man." #botner #fishquotes

April 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Death of DaltonFor the last however long—by other people's control—I've been jumping through time, inhabiting OTHER people's bodies, and helping each of them get through an obstacle that is just a little bit too hard. But now it's all about to end. This is the story of my death. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI've been through a lot. I escaped from a magical castle, was immediately sent to a quarantine bunker for a virus I accidentally released, suffered the effects of infected people's hallucinations, and discovered that I may be the only one who can stop it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”You know what the difference between sardines and anchovies is? Well, for one, they're different animals. What more do you need, a taxanomical analysis? Why did you ask me this question?
Story Quote"I wish I could get away with having her sneak into my room to sleep on my bed with me, but the neighbors think my mom is the meanest mom in the world, so she’s locked in the living room with the remote control and her knitting needles to prove that point." #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonOf course, I didn't know I was going to die until it was too late. Let's go back to the moment that I only now realize was the turning point. The powers that be usually decide whose body I'll possess, but sometimes they give me a choice. This is one of those times. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRecently, I've met a character from my stories whose presence on Earth isn't something I knew, or makes any sense. He also happens to be a time traveler, and it seems he thinks he can prevent most of the horror by jumping back in time. But it won't be easy. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI'm a phagovore. I only eat eaters, so plants are the only living things that are safe from me.
Story Quote"I hate being alone. I hate swimming back up to the surface. I lie here in the water, thinking. I’m still alone. I can’t escape. I have to swim back, but I’m not brave. Maybe swimming around for hours is the stupidest thing ever, but I have no choice." #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonThe PTB have different ways of presenting me with my choices. It may look like Stonehenge, or just portals in the middle of a field. This time, it's a literal crossroads. I can turn left or right. I could theoretically turn back, but I don't sincerely consider it. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningHe seems to believe it's okay since I'm not a carrier of the virus, but I don't know how he knows that. "How do you know that?" I question. // "You don't remember them taking blood when you first arrived?" Uhhh…no." That never happened. // "Well, they did." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I am not a hypocrite! I said I only liked nice people! I never said that I liked myself, you frickin' idiot!
Story Quote"He points to the exit. 'That door will not open without a whitecard for every passenger…or the gearkey.' // 'Oh, the gearkey?' I say. 'Well, I have that.' I reach into my bag, and present him with the physical version of the gear that Pryce left me." #darningwars #fishquotes
Death of DaltonForward is different. I see a looming darkness, almost pulsating in the distance. Every fiber of my being is telling me I should go right or left, and never go towards the darkness. So obviously, I do. My fear doesn't control me, but my curiosity does. Always has. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI'm having a hard time believing him, but I desperately want to get out of here, and if I really can stop this virus from even taking hold of our world, then it's my responsibility to try everything I can. More to the point, it would be irresponsible not to. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Alarms are male sirens.
Story Quote"Her brain blending ability worked by allowing her to transfer memories from a potential reality to the real one—or theoretically from some other point in space time to the present—which meant that the memories had to have reasonable realistic potential." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Death of DaltonI don't have to reach this darkness. As soon as I step foot between the corners of the intersection, I have declared my intentions to go this direction. Everything around me starts to fade away, and is replaced with blobs of water, which threaten to overtake me. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Okay," I say, "let's go." // "I can't go," Rolio tells me. "I'm positive. I would just infect everyone in the past." // "Can I even go without you? Your version of time travel isn't exactly conventional. I've never even heard of you doing it with others." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI remember first learning about gay people when I was young. I was horrified. It's positively disgusting, what those people do. Ya know what, I'm confused. I'm actually thinking of when I learned how Republicans systematically dismiss and mistreat this nation's disenfranchised.
Story Quote"That monster, he even showed himself on stage before they stabbed him. We saw evil things dragging him by the back of his neck. Then he cried out, he was crying for his mother, and then darkness. The only darkness we will see, because evil lives on." #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonThese water blobs expand as they shoot across the sky. One of them nearly hits me in the face. I realize that time is moving at a wonky pace, slowing down and speeding up, possibly randomly. The water isn't in blobs, that's just how it looks from this perspective. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"If I'm in an enclosed space—which shouldn't be too hard to find down here—I can redirect the temporal energy somewhere else," Rolio explains. "I can redirect it to you." What he doesn't say is how much it hurts. He doesn't need to anyway, I already know. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Okay, we should be good. At this point, we've had over a year to practice social distancing. You would think we would have it down by now, and can stop practicing, but they just keep saying we should. I've been a professional social distancer for years, what's taking you so long?
Story Quote"My eyes fly open wide. 'You look wonderful,' he tells me, smiling. 'You know, you’re probably in the best shape of your life.' I grab the envelope. 'It's a one-time offer,' he tells me. 'Sign it.' // I nod silently and take a deep breath. 'So…'" #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonOnce the blobs have successfully overwhelmed the area, so that they are all I see, they burst, and mix with each other, and then they fall upon me. The water is freezing, yes, but it's the pressure that really gets me. I'm suddenly too deep in the ocean too fast. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe don't say anything for a moment. "Are you okay to do this?" // "I can do it," I reply. "Let's go find a nook, or something." I feel bad leaving him in this future, but I know that's not how it works. This reality will collapse, and I'll create a new one. #ResetButtonBeginning
Tasteless JokeI need to tell you something. The day we found out your husband watched #AMillionLittleThings, I tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings. I got the call, and I just…spit the episode out into the sink. I've never tried to watch #AMillionLittleThings again, though, I promise.
Story Quote"I tell them I have no intention of feeling differently. I am moving around the crowd, feeling each one of their burdens. Many of them are traumatized, tortured by memories of events from their lives—of others they've hurt, of tragedies they've experienced." #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonWhile I'm drowning, my eyes adjust to the low light, and I realize I'm not just in water. I'm inside of something, maybe a wrecked ship. As I'm trying to locate which way is up, an arm appears before me, and sticks something in my mouth. I instinctively breathe in. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningRolio already knows where the closest maintenance closet is. There's just enough room for him to gather his temporal energy, and evidently shoot me with it. We step in, and I watch him for the next few hours while he meditates and communes with the universe. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI gave away all of my worldly possessions, so I can move out to the woods. I want to live off the grid, and live off the land. Wait…OFF the land? Because I said off the gr—let's see, we can figure this out. I just need to look something up on my phone. Aw, shite.
Story Quote"My failure shows that the sort of interface to natural language processing researchers were designing has a long way to go. Fortunately, it’s something we’re only slowly developing. No matter. I have a few more strings to write." #botner #fishquotes
Death of DaltonThe scuba diver tucks me under his chest while I'm breathing through his extra tubey thing, and swims with his legs only. He takes us deeper into the ship, all the way into an old timey bathroom, where he starts to remove his clothing. I just float there patiently. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs time is nearing the end, I start to notice that his skin has turned redder, and is growing redder still. Sweat drips off him like a mesh bag of water. Steam rises from his body, and clouds the room, until all I can see is the torrid glow of a man on fire. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingI can see photons from a distance.
Story Quote"This third parent did not raise me, and does not concern itself with human affairs, and it is unclear what their intentions are in regards to us, if they’re even driven by anything beyond their instincts. They may not quite realize what they’re doing." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonOnce the diver is totally naked, he looks around like he can't find his keys. He spies a metal cup behind me, and gestures for me to get it for him. I do, still confused about what's going on. As soon as he touches it, the water disappears. The bathroom looks new. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI knew that this was how he time traveled, but I didn't know how deafening the process was. I don't mean there's such a loud sound that it hurts my ears, I mean it actually makes me deaf. I doubt it's permanent, but it is not impossible. It's almost over. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanonanostoryExperts believe that Jesus couldn't read. Time travelers know it.
Story Quote"I am as relaxed as Hogarth wanted me to be, and have relinquished all hostility I felt coming into the mission to remove Pryce from power. I do not forgive him for anything that he’s done, but it no longer consumes me. Who can be mad under a purple sky?" #darningwars #fishquotes
Death of DaltonI pant and struggle to catch my breath. Even though I was technically breathing through the scuba thing, it's not something I'm used to, and I'm glad to be back to regular air. The man smiles as he's opening his dry bag. "Hi, I'm Darko Matic, and you're in 1949." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe energy reaches critical mass, and then I see Rolio concentrate it into a ball in front of him like one might expect from a firebender. "Are you ready?!" he shouts. "It's gonna hurt like hell!" // "Just do it!" I scream. // He reaches back, and shoots. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Bones are just teeth that live inside your body.
Story Quote"They looked at him with a certain assumption. The obvious response was to let her do it, but it wasn’t necessarily the wisest choice. He wanted to survive, and to exist, and to be remembered, but there was a chance the sentiment was only a gut reaction." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Death of DaltonBefore I can respond, I catch my reflection in the mirror. I stare into it, and paw at my own cheeks. I never expected to see this face again. It's mine. I'm back in my body, or at least some version of it. It's been years since the last time, what does this mean? #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe temporal energy expands as it flies through the air, and sets me on fire. I can feel my skin burn and flake off. Ashy pieces float upwards, and disappear into the aether. I'm going back in time, little by little, and I'm watching myself die as I do it. #ResetButtonBeginning
LieLittle known factoid, I was a judge on #AmericanIdol in 2017.
Story Quote"The kayak didn’t turn into a human, but to understand the way this world works, that was absolutely not outside the realm of possibility. That’s why base modifications are so dangerous, because the rules and limitations are unclear, if any exist at all." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonWhile I'm in awe of having my own face back, I feel something cold press against my shoulder, and then a stinging pain. "Sorry about that," Darko says as he's injecting himself. "We just depressurized too fast. This will dissolve the nitrogen for us." // "Thanks." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Goodbye," Rolio whispers as my eyeballs dissolve. In an instant, I open them back up to find myself on the ground. The pain from the burning temporal energy isn't gone, but it's manageable. I sit up in search of a familiar point of reference from my past. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”I've always thought it was really great how there are no bad people in the world.
Story Quote"They needed the best ship in the world. And they needed it to potentially endure a tidal wave or tsunami. Their next interim deadline was in seven years, which was important, because the hope was to support a certain percentage of a growing population." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"Thanks," I say. "How did you know that I would be in the water?" // "I was gonna ask you the same thing," Darko says. "I thought you might be a tracker with really bad aim. But if you're salmon, I guess the powers that be wanted us to meet, for whatever reason." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningMy acute stress response is in overdrive. My brain doesn't know if there is any danger around, so it just assumes there is. I hear the crack of a stick nearby, and someone approaches. My heart races even faster, but then quiets when I see it's just Past!Me. #ResetButtonBeginning
Fake ConversationMe: "Okay, I shouldn't have called it a he. I don't know the sex of the sea otter. I don't even know how to sex sea otters, or how to sex any animal, for that matter. Well…other than humans." // My parole officer: "Could you please stop saying that word?" // Me: "What? Humans?"
Story Quote"Things took a turn for the worse near the beginning of the 21st century, when a dark organization rose from the shadows, and decided it was time they took over the United States. Their power was fleeting, but their impact was everlasting, and profound." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"Well, anyway, thanks for saving my life. Sorry to take you away from your scuba diving." // "Nah, man," Darko says in a relaxed tone as he's starting to get dressed. "This is where I wanted to be. I came down here to get to this ship when it was still floating." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningPast!Me hands me a light jacket. "Wrap this around your waist." // "Appreciate it," I tell him. I wipe off a little ash, then cover up. // He waits patiently, then says—as per protocol—"report". // "It was 2021. Old reality collapsed. Co-existence possible." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryWhy do so many car insurance company commercials involve clients meeting with their agents in person? I've had the same agent for eleven years, and I've never met the man. His assistant sends me an automated birthday message every few months. That's it.
Story Quote"There is a reason that humans are a trinity of mind, body, and soul. All three are required to make a person. A mind alone is a computer, a body alone is a pile of viscera, and a soul alone is a ghost. None of them is meant to be without the other two." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"Oh, is there something here that's really important? Some kind of valuable object that was destroyed when the ship sank?" // Darko laughs and straightens his tuxedo jacket. "I just wanna have a good time, and to work needlessly hard to get here. Thus, the scuba." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"How did you get here?" Past!Me questions. // "Irrelevant," I reply plainly. He's obligated to leave it at that. He doesn't need to know that Rolio Canard is real, and might be on Earth right now. I'm here to stop the future, not give anything away about it. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Did you hear that noise? It sounded like an albatross. And my neck suddenly got really heavy. Did someone let an albatross in here? Who let the burden?
Story Quote"The first rule of probable reality is that any world that can be conceived—and whose consistent physical laws don’t countermine the laws that are true of every universe—can exist. Furthermore, if such a qualifying world IS conceived, then it WILL exist." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonA time traveling adrenaline junkie. I nod like I get it, but we have very different personalities. // With a sinister smile, he lifts a second tuxedo from his bag. "I don't know how long you've been a traveler, but you'll learn redundancy. You can wear the backup." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Come on," Past!Me says with a wave of his hand. "Let's go home, so we can figure how we're going to move on from here." // "You have two extra beds in this house, or just the one?" // Three beds, no job," he answers. "It's 2017." // "That will change soon." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Hey, mom! Today, we learned the four species of penguin! There's emperor, gentoo, barada, nikto.
Story Quote"He is wrong. The simulation has not been without a leader for the last sixty years. It found a leader in someone. The most likely suspect is Avatar!Pryce, but there are billions of other possibilities…hundreds of billions, if you count the Glisnians." #darningwars #fishquotes
Death of DaltonI shrug and change into the tuxedo. Though I am a traveler, I've only been to the pretty recent past. I generally stick to a couple decades on either side of the turn of the 21st century, and never made it anywhere near 1949. I wonder what people are really like. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningBefore my dog, I would take long walks to get healthy. Of course, I kept walking once she came into my life, but we stayed closer to home. I lost her when I became trapped in the castle, and the world ended. Now that future will never exist. SHE won't exist. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingLet's nearly all agree to start calling liars who are lying with lies, tigers who are tying with ties…just to screw with the one person we don't tell about it.
Story Quote"It was the Superintendent's doing. Her mourning period should have lasted weeks, if not longer, but that would have been a boring story to watch from the outside, so I used my creative license as a weapon, and simply skipped that part of the narrative." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Death of DaltonOne thing I didn't realize about my time traveling pattern is that, while it has no set time limit, all of my missions are brief. I never have extended periods of time to explore the timeline, and this characteristic holds, even though I have my original face back. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningAs he said, this is 2017, and a future version of me wasn't here back then, which means this is necessarily a new timeline. He's on an urban hike right now, because he doesn't have Daisy yet, and now he never will, because I stopped it. I went back too far. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingMoose laurels.
Story Quote"Upon learning more about their own genetic evolution, the humans of this Earth ended up uniting to form a singular society much earlier than other Earths. They recognized that diversity was a good thing, and a source of strength, rather than a weakness." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonI'm excited to enjoy myself, but alas, I do not meet the opportunity. As Darko and I step through the hatchway, we find ourselves on top of what appears to be a step pyramid. Before us is The Cleanser. Out of the three of us, he is the only one happy to be here. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningWe walk to his house quietly, but he can tell that I'm holding back a secret. "You don't have to tell me if it will negatively impact the timeline, but if it won't, I wanna know. Even if it's bad, it's always better to know." // "I ruined something for you." #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryMy Parents Are In an Open Marriage and This is What it Feels Like to be Their Son. Chapter One. It's probably no different for me than it is for you. Do YOUR parents discuss with you all the sex they're having with just each other? That's what I thought. THE END.
Story Quote"They were willing to give Earth the benefit of the doubt, especially since they recognized it wasn’t the same Earth that they struggled against in their history. Unfortunately, it would seem that they sent the wrong man to make first contact with them." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonThe Cleanser notices me, and his smile turns upside down. "Why did you bring HIM?" // "He is with me," Darko explains. "Why did YOU bring ME?" // "I wanted to have a chat with my brother." // "That's your brother?" I question. // "We're more like distant cousins." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Someone was going to be born who can't be born now, because we're in a new timeline," I go on. // "They went over this in the movie About Time," Past!Me scolds. "You shouldn't have come back so far." // "It was beyond my control," I try to defend myself. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryI have a lot of daydreams about a beautiful woman from the future coming back to save my life, because I'll one day be important, but then we realize either that the machine got the wrong date, or the wrong place, so I drop whatever I'm doing, and help her find the right guy.
Story Quote"They’re generally more independent, stronger-willed, and far more likely to make the informational breakthroughs that people with excelschians will come to take for granted. They’re the ones moving humanity forward, and advancing science and technology." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"Timelines are crazy and complicated," Darko goes on. "He's related to an alternate version of me from a very old timeline—so not really me." // "I'm hurt, Brother Cousin," the Cleanser jokes. // "What do you want?" Darko questions. "We were on our way to a party." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"I'm not gonna ask who," Past!Me says, "but considering who I am, I can reasonably assume that it's not a human baby. We can get her back, but we're going to need help." // "You don't mean…" // "This is YOUR fault, so YOU'LL make the sacrifice," he demands. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingAziz Ansari says he's not sorry.
Story Quote"They’re called microrealities, and they pop up in case the true reality needs to use them, but they pop back out when they’re no longer needed, and the energy they used is transferred to new microrealities, which will in turn collapse soon thereafter." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"You can always go to the party later," the Cleanser says. Most people would laugh at this, but as time travelers, it appears to be actually true. As we'll see, though, there is one thing that can prevent you from going back to what you missed. It's called death. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningHe's right. I did this, so I have to make the sacrifice. You see, even though my characters are real, I can't just call them up and ask for favors. I would be doing it all the time. It only works under extreme circumstances, and it comes at an extreme cost. #ResetButtonBeginning
NanostoryMy grandfather was always off his rocker. I would come into the living room for a visit, and say, "grandpa, we got you this rocking chair, you should use it." Get it? Off his rocker? Anyway, he would always reply, "I can't sit there, that's where Abe Lincoln's ghost sleeps."
Story Quote"The first step is hard. The second step is just this side of utterly and hopelessly impossible. Very few people have the means to navigate the bulkverse. I can only do it mentally, and even then, I get lost a lot. It is simply not meant to be traveled." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"I have a mission for you," the Cleanser goes on. "I've just been told something interesting about death, but as you know, I can't die, so I can't verify it myself." // "You want someone else to die, so they can tell you what's on the other side?" Darko guesses. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningI have only communed with my characters three times. Once was with Rolio in the future, which has been undone in this new timeline I created. The first was less than three weeks ago now. The second time won't be until November of this year. I died each time. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random Nothing"I don't think, therefore I not am." --René Nightcartes
Story Quote"Like a great reset button that doesn't destroy anything, I repeat in my own head. It's a terrible choice, but if it's the only reasonable solution, then it will be what we do. We have to end the war, and if we can't do it through words, we'll force it." #darningwars #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"That is a terrible mission," I point out. "If whatever you think you've been told about death isn't true, Darko won't be able to come back and prove it either way." // "True," the Cleanser agrees, "which is why I'm not asking him to go through. I'm asking you." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"Don't fret," Past!Me says. Though he's more like Present!Tavis. "You're not dying today. Based on how my life is right now, I doubt I'm getting the dog anytime soon." // "A little over a year." // He nods…and then I stay with him for a little over a year. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingGalapastops Islands.
Story Quote"Now alone, Serif stood up straight, and got a better look around. She knew everything she needed to know about this ship, but none of it felt familiar. It was like someone once told her all about it using pictures, but she hadn’t been here until now." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Death of DaltonThe Cleanser reaches up, and tries to grab me by the neck, but before I know it, Darko intervenes, and swiftly sends him to the ground. "You didn't want to speak to me, you brought us here for him. You're always lying." // "Don't get in the way of this, brother." #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe time draws near when my dog, Daisy should be born. Only one person in the bulkverse can guarantee that she's born in this reality as well. Her nickname is The Conservator, though she's sometimes called The Extractor. But her real name is Arcadia Preston. #ResetButtonBeginning
Random NothingMy email address is noreply@noreply.no.reply
Story Quote"You have to know that you’re capable of it, and truly believe in yourself, and the people around you have to believe. They have to believe in you, and in themselves, and convincing a significant enough population that it’s all real is a real challenge." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"If you keep trying to attack him, I will keep pushing you back," my protector, Darko explains forcefully. // "Then I won't do it alone." The Cleanser removes a bunch of coins from his pocket, and throws them on the ground. Suddeny, there are dozens of Cleansers. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe best version of Arcadia becomes part of the crew of a machine called The Prototype, which travels to different universes, fighting against the armies of the Maramon. She's both capable of coming to Universe Prime, and will be the most willing to help us. #ResetButtonBeginning
Dirty JokeWhat do you call a female rooster? I think you know, and it's not chicken, or hen.
Story Quote"You keep prices low, treat your employees well, and give your day-old bread to the homeless. You’re not perfect, but on the whole, you’re a good person. Your alternate self will be just as bad as you are good—I mean, exactly as far from absolute zero." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of Dalton"We can all play the duplication game," Darko says, seething. He removes a small wooden duck from his bag, and sets it on the ground. Another version of Darko appears out of nowhere, now holding the duck himself. One of the Cleansers kicks the duck out of his hand. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button BeginningThe only way for us to summon a character to our world would be to simply write a story where that happens. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. This story has to be published, in one form or another. We can't just write it down, and wait for it to come true. #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”If your going "to" be a great writer: like me-youre go…ing to have to learn how; to speel, and use punc'tuation, properly? Do you think you can! do that.
Story Quote"Everyone is so afraid of going against him that they follow his rules with little question. They know if they do something he doesn’t like, he’ll just wipe their story away. The Ochivari would never dream of invading, even though it’s a logical target." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonNow that the duck is too far away to be of any use to Darko as this weird time traveling beacon I don't understand, The Cleanser makes his move. Eight or nine of him hold the Darkos back, while three or four crowd around me, and push me off the edge of the pyramid. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning"You write it," Present!Me orders. "I'll keep working on the main stories, but hand you the keys to our fiction Twitter account. Make it believable." // "I can do this," I promise him. // "You better. Daisy doesn't exist, but she's already important to me." #ResetButtonBeginning
“Joke”Whenever anyone says that they make their own luck, I imagine them chewing on grass several times over, and then pooping large patties of luck onto the ground.
Story Quote"What they have in common is that—within the confines of their respective universes—they’re isolated, and alone. Life will evolve on one planet at a time, and won’t evolve again until that one has long, long been extinct. Why is this the way things are?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Death of DaltonHopeless to escape, I tumble through the air, and crash land on the next step down. I'm still alive, but I can't stop the momentum. I keep falling and falling, and bleeding and bleeding, until I land. Then, for some reason, I awaken in the middle of an urban war. #DeathofDalton
Reset Button Beginning and Bringing Back DaisySo I sit down, and start crafting a new story. It will last a month, but only be about 1400 words long. Arcadia Preston will have to come, because I decided. By the end of it, Daisy Quake Highfill will exist in this reality…and I won't. #ResetButtonBeginning #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I finally saw the movie #KnivesOut. It's crazy that I turned out to be the killer. I don't even remember doing it, but I saw it on screen.

May 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Time ClinicToday is my first day at a new job. I've always wanted to do something that really made a difference…that helped people. I just didn't think I was qualified. If I had known accidentally learning about time travelers would do it for me, I would have applied earlier. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia Preston wasn't a hero, in any timeline, so she didn't understand what she was doing here. Everyone here had a job. Ecrin was the captain, Ulinthra was the strategist. And Arcadia? As far as she could tell, the best word to describe it would be "mascot". #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”We have named our daughter Rachael Chyler Jennifer Jason Leigh Fisherman. Any one of those three women could be the mother. We honestly don't know which, but we've agreed to just all raise her together, in lieu of running a DNA test. Please respect our choice, and our privacy.
Story Quote"We walk between the boobs, some of us more distracted than others, and come to a door. This is where we find the armory. Ice picks, red axes, hock shanks, yellow hammers, green collars, plus keys, pink slips, a browncoat, and a big jar of gray smoke." #darningwars #fishquotes
Time ClinicI was walking home from my dumb regular job a few weeks ago. I liked to take a shortcut through an abandoned construction site, and I was glad for this that day after the top half of a man suddenly appeared next to me. The other half was on the other side of a wall. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThey didn't have any missions yet, but everyone else had something to do already. The medic was making a list of supplies he would need, the engineer was familiarizing himself with the machine. Arcadia was just sitting on her cot, not sad or upset, but useless. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I really want to win mother of the year this time. Now, I know I'm not a woman, or have any children, or plan on living here for more than a couple months, and I know the award doesn't really exist, and no one's reading this, and reality is a lie, but I think I deserve a shot.
Story Quote"Innocent was too strong of a word for a man like this to be swinging around recklessly. It was irrelevant that he was an alternate version. Someone who declared himself in charge of tens of billions of dead people—in any reality—could never be trusted." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Time ClinicI didn't know what I was seeing, but I had to act fast, or he would die. I remembered a sledgehammer leaning against the wall a few meters back, so I grabbed it, and started pounding on the concrete. He survived, and not to toot my own horn, but that's because of me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyCaptain Cabral came in unannounced. "All right, I finally have it here." // "Have what?" Arcadia asked. // Ecrin handed her a tablet. "Your lessons. Sorry, it took some time for Relehir to compile it. The Maramon never intended humans to learn their language." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingI only watch HBO 3.
Story Quote"The godlings’ respective godlings are also human. It just keeps going down the line, and if you ever meet an evolved creature that is decidedly not human, it’s just because it’s somehow related to humans, and spiritually speaking, is still human enough." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI later learned that he was a teleporter, still learning his skills. He managed to instruct me how to call his doctor. It was she who was impressed with my quick-thinking, and recommended me for this new job. They call it the Time Clinic, and I already feel at home. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"What are you talking about?" Arcadia questioned. "Why am I learning the language? Don't Vito and Relehir already know it." // "You need to learn it too, so you can study the cultures of the universes in our database, which is written in the Maramon language." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingWhen my dog sleeps in the corner, she's a corndog. It has been decided.
Story Quote"They killed almost the entire population, save for an elite few who were selected to survive in stasis. With humanity out of the way, their planet could once again take over, and eventually repair the damage. They would not awaken for millions of years." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI approach the receptionist. "Right on time, Miss Siria," he says with a kind smile. // "Siria is my first name. Siria Webb." // Now he laughs. "I know. I'm from the South." He places a little yellow basket on the counter, full of stuff. "Here's your onboarding kit." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia looked at Ecrin with a blank face. // "You didn't think you were here for no reason, did you? No, each universe is unique, and we need someone to understand the differences before we show up, and start fighting against the Maramon that ended up there." #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationBoss: "What are you doing? Your break is over." // Employee: "I can't return to work yet. The sign in the bathroom says all employees must wash their hands first, and I've not yet done that." // Boss: "Do it now." // Employee: "Hashtag-loophole." // Boss: "Hashtag-you're fired."
Story Quote"The two phoenixes in the family can technically travel as well, but they have to die first, and navigation is sketchy at best. Joseph is the one true bulk traveler, and it makes all of his brothers extremely jealous. For some, it makes them murtherous." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicThe receptionist goes on, "that will direct you to your quarters. Take fifteen minutes to get settled, and then head for your first patient. Room two-sixteen." // "First patient, already?" I question. "I don't need orientation, or anything?" // "Not that I know of." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Oh. Yeah, that wasn't clear," Arcadia said. "I guess it makes sense to have someone like that. How much time do I have to learn the language fluently?" // "All the times," Ecrin said as she was walking back out. Every times." // Still, she better get started. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationAuditor: "What is this line item right here? It's costing the school district tens of thousands of dollars per year." // School Accountant: "That's insurance, for property damage caused by teenager werewolf battles." // Auditor: "…" // School Accountant: "Trust me, we need it."
Story Quote"The second group won at first, but then the first group took over, and warped the world to their needs. Their leader was named Azazil Aj-lishdefil, and he earned his woxa of Adversary when he led a coup against the true leader, Alaha ‘Almighty’ Adonai." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI'm no doctor, as I'm sure you guessed. I'm not here to treat patients. I'm just here to be there for them, to assist them with anything nonmedical that they need. I'm an uncertified caretaker, for a very specific clientele. They have what are called time conditions. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisySo Arcadia started learning how to read Maramon. It wasn't that hard, in the end. The sentence strucutre was the same as it was in English, and every word had a direct translation, so it was mostly just about memorizing vocabulary. It only took her three weeks. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationMark: "Friends, Romans, countrymen! Lend me your ears!" // Vincent: *sigh* "Okay…" // Woman in crowd: "Oh my God!"
Story Quote"Each time you crack a leak in the membrane, you let a little concentrated bulk energy into your universe, which you use to power another strike to make the leak larger, which powers your third strike, and so on, until it’s large enough to pass through." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI'm not quite certain what a time condition is, but they tell me that it's a general term for afflictions and sicknesses, which people get for various reasons. Not everyone has the same thing of course, and they all have different needs. I'm here to help all of them. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyWhile Arcadia was working on her studies, it wasn't like the crew was sitting still. They each had their own ways to prepare. This often meant going off to hunt for resources, like medical supplies, tools, equipment, tactical gear, and some creature comforts. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationCop: "You wanna tell me why you were going two miles an hour back there, but by the time I caught up to you, you were going over 100?" // Me: "I was listening to In the Hall of the Mountain King." // Cop: "Oh. I'm sorry, sir, I didn't realize. I won't keep you, have a nice day."
Story Quote"She is Abigail’s mother, but not Pryce’s wife, or even his love interest. According to lore, they procreated once, but never spent any other time together. I’m sure she hates him just as much as we do. She stands here like a sentry, still and prepared." #darningwars #fishquotes
Time ClinicI decide to set my onboarding basket on the desk in my room, and go look for room 216. A nurse is already in there, doing something with the patient's IV. There's something coming out of his mouth, which he casually lets fall into a jar on his lap as he watches TV. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThey also needed to get to know each other in general, and build trust. Remember that nearly all of these people had a history of doing bad things to good people, and if they wanted to succeed against the threat, they had to learn to value other people's lives. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryPlease listen to my new podcast! Every day, we'll discuss, uhh…what's a topic that other podcasters don't talk about? I'll take anything, like I don't even care. Ya know what, I'll just play a buzzing sound for 35 minutes straight, that's how excited I am about podcasts.
Story Quote"Serif waited, not wanting to concede so quickly—after no argument, or discussion—but if they could only trust one person in the whole universe, it was Kivi. She had been part of this mission since the start, and had proved herself time and time again." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Time Clinic"You must be Siria," the nurse says in an English accent when she notices me. "That's how you pronounce it, right?" // "Perfectly," I answer. "And you are?" // She sighs, not upset, but ready to go. "Late. We'll meet later. Give him whatever he needs…except food." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyThe Captain walked back into Arcadia's room one evening. "How are your studies going?" // "Finished enough," she replied. "I'm ready." // "Something came up on the screens. Relehir can translate, but we want to see if you can too. Think of it as a final exam." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryLast night, I had a dream that I used my American Sign Language skills to pretend to be deaf when a guy I cut off in traffic caught up, and confronted me about it. Actually, that wasn't a dream so much as it was a confession.
Story Quote"Continents separate into countries, countries into regions, regions into cities, cities into communities, and communities into individual homes. Tired of your neighbors? Just detach your section, and go find new ones—clear across the globe, if you want." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicThe patient chuckles, I don't know if it's about the comment the nurse made about food, or something on the TV. Without looking, he reaches over to shake my hand. "Name's also Siria," he says with a full mouth. // "Really?" // He laughs again. "Newbies are gullible." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyEveryone was in the control room to watch her pass her test. It was annoying, not because she was nervous, but because it was such a tight fit. This machine was designed for a tiny crew, and only for testing purposes. That was why they called it The Prototype. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI just got back from Höllenente. Why is everybody wearing masks on their faces? Don't worry about where Höllenente is, or how I got there, or what I had to kill to get back. Tell me what the masks are all about.
Story Quote"They hadn't come up with many invasion fiction stories. They weren't naïve; just hopeful. They wanted to believe that aliens would come as visitors, rather than as hostile forces. The Ochivari's arrival was the most demoralizing thing to happen to them." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI switch off the TV, and sit next to him. I can tell he responds better to authority, and this won't work if I let him walk all over me. "What is your name?" // "Tal." // "What's that in your mouth, Tal?" // "Caviar." // How does it get in there?" // He just shrugs. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia peered at the screen. "How did this come in?" // "You tell us," Ecrin said. Barbwire was smirking. The rest were being patient. // "The system's locked. We can't go anywhere..until we go there." She pointed. // "And where is there?" // "Universe Prime." #BringingBackDaisy
TruthA good rule of thumb is for @MichaelRapaport to keep his dumb mouth shut.
Story Quote"That’s not really how gravity works, so again, I can’t say what happened. Obviously, since it was no longer being supported by a host star, the Earth started becoming inhospitable. It’s a good thing a few people knew that it was coming, and had a plan." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Caviar just spontaneously appears in your mouth, and you have no idea why?" I ask. // "I know why," Tal corrects. "I unwittingly slightly inconvenienced a man called The Cleanser. He made it so that caviar constantly teleports into my mouth, and it can't be undone." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyUniverse Prime wasn't the most important one in the bulk; it was just a starting point, a frame of reference, to understand the relationship amongst the other nearby branes. It WAS where The Superintendent lived, though, and that probably wasn't good for them. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI was a writer for Inside Edition back in the early 1990s. I'm the one who wrote the "frak it! We'll do it live!" line. @BillOReilly didn't care for the scifi reference, so he made a last minute alteration, but I'm still proud of my contribution.
Story Quote"They can be fun, they can be embarrassing, and they can be impossible to answer without looking bad. But one thing they’re not is consequential…unless you live in Hypothetiverse. In that world, every answer you give comes true. It happens to someone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Were you a waiter?" I guess. // Tal sips water as he's nodding. He swishes it around, and spits it all into his jar. "I can get a couple minutes of peace if I manage to get all of it out at once, but it always starts up again." // "How do you sleep?" // "I don't." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"If the computer says we have to go to Universe Prime, then we go to Univere Prime," Ecrin said. "Smith, run pre-launch procedures. Arcadia, brush up on what little we know of The Superintendent. The rest of you? Be sure to tinkle. It'll be a real short ride." #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I've decided to cancel Saturday and Sunday this week. Please proceed directly to Monday tomorrow. If I catch anyone trying to steal a weekend, I'm gonna suck out all the paid time off they have for the rest of their lives, so consider yourselves warned.
Story Quote"She used this power to create mechacelestial objects, like the matrioshka body, and Big Papa, but once those were complete, she set her sights on something larger…more glorious. She wanted to build an entire universe, according to her specifications." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicTal jerks his head back to his IV bag. "These keep me awake permanently. I'll choke on this stuff if I try to sleep. We even tried to hang me upside down, but it didn't work." He shivers at the memory. // "I bet you're pretty tired, huh?" // "No, but I miss sleep." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia and the crew jumped to the coordinates that the Prototype was forcing upon them, but only she was able to exit. The rest were blocked by an invisible barrier. She guessed it was the second part of Ecrin's test of her skills, so she just kept walking. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationSome Young Man: "Sir, I know you're a very busy and important man, but I have a really great idea that would be truly beneficial to your company." // Me: "Okay, what's the 'elevator pitch'?" // Young Man: "Okay, it's—" // Me: "Twist, we're in a teleporter. You're out of time."
Story Quote"I’m shaking my head. It’s a trick. There is no altruistic or benevolent version of Pryce. There are only some that aren’t as bad as others. I don’t know why he wants me to be the one to do this instead of him, but I can’t let him play any part in it." #darningwars #fishquotes
Time ClinicI frown, deep in thought, arms crossed, with my chin resting on my fist. // "What are you thinking?" Tal starts growing suspicious of me. "What are you doing here? What is your specialty?" // "Nothing," I answer. "No specialty, that is. But I AM thinking…of an idea." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyAs Arcadia was looking for some kind of sign, directing her where to go, twins appeared from behind the trees, and approached. They weren't smiling, but they didn't look mean either. It took her a moment to realize they were…The Superintendent, her creator. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryAnd then God said, "let there be light." He stood there for an hour before he remembered he's the one who's supposed to make the light, because he's the only one who exists right now. He was really embarrassed, but then he remembered again, HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO EXISTS RIGHT NOW.
Story Quote"There were billions of worlds in this reality. He traveled to a few of them, but they weren’t exciting enough. They didn’t have death or danger, and Amulet didn’t think that was living. He begged his parents to one day let him join the crew of the AOC." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Time ClinicHis break is over. Caviar starts teleporting into his mouth again, so he has to let it fall into his jar. It's nearly full, though. Without asking, I switch it out with an empty one, but I'm still trying to figure out my solution. There has to be a way to end this. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"This feels like a trap," Arcadia said. "Why are there two of you?" // "I'm a time traveler now," one of the Superintendents explained. "I came back to stop a catastrophe that I caused, but inadvertently prevented my dog from being born. I need you to fix it." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryDid you guys know that sinks have hot water too? 🎶A whole new woooooorrrlld!🎶
Story Quote"Like I’ve been saying, they are antinatalists, not efilists, and not murderers. An all out war would cause more harm to the planet they’re trying to rescue, and would unnecessarily drain them of resources. That’s not to say that violence never occurs." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"If the caviar can teleport in," I begin, "then why don't they teleport it out? Stick, like, a little teleporter device in your cheek, and keep it clear of the caviar exactly as fast as it can come in. Would that work?" // "I don't know enough about it, I don't know." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That's why we're here?" Arcadia questioned. "You want me to save your dog?" // The time traveler revealed a creepy smile. Well, it's less about what we want, and more about what YOU want. YOU want to not die, and if you do this for us, you won't. Make sense?" #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingWauconda, Illinois FOREVER!
Story Quote"Surprisingly, this form of isolationism never led to war. In fact, though they did experience some violence, it was nowhere near what most civilizations had. They had no use for it, because everyone always had their own resources, and left others alone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicNow we're both in thought. The nurse comes back, followed by the doctor who took over care of the teleporter that I saved. "We were watching remotely," Dr. Hammer says. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't an asshole to my patients, but you may be on to something." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That makes sense," Arcadia agreed. "I'll bring back your dog, as long as my powers even work in your universe." // "They do," the younger version of the Superintendent replied. "I made sure of it." // "Okay." Arcadia prepared. I'll have to touch your head." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingSometimes I open the corner cupboard in my kitchen, just to make sure that, yep..head's still there.
Story Quote"It showed how flawed the Ochivari's ideals were, even within the parameters of their sick and irrational view of the multiverse. Unfortunately, this development did nothing to dissuade them from their crusade. They just needed to devise contingencies." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicDr. Hammer narrows her eyes, and regards the both of us. "Find the number for Holly Blue," she says to her nurse. "I want her to give this some thought. It has to be thin, and perpetual, and like she said, it has to teleport the caviar away as fast as it comes in." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyHe stepped towards Arcadia, maybe a little too eager for her to dig into his memories. "Wait. If you're my creator, did you create me to be attractive to you? Did you decide that?" // "The answer is, don't think about it," the Superintendent replied vaguely. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”I prefer Hannah Montana over @MileyCyrus. WHAT? Come at me, bro. Name one Miley song that's better. I can name ten better Hannah songs. Just give me a minute. No, I'm just checking the weather on my phone, completely unrelated. I can too name a Hannah Montana song from memory.
Story Quote"Legend was her only hope now, even though he was nobody, and didn’t know anything about how to find some Canadian stranger who wasn’t going to be famously important until after his death. Still, he agreed to help, because it was the right thing to do." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Yes, sir," the nurse says before leaving. // "Mayhaps Isuel was right when he said he saw something in you that I couldn't. You're not just a natural-born caregiver. You're a problem solver." // Isuel was the name of the teleporter. I didn't know he said that of me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Very well," Arcadia said. She reached up, and placed her hands upon his temples. She had to read his mind to find out information about the dog he was trying to bring forth from a different reality. She needed to know details about who, what, where, and when. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”Ya know, if every one of my followers gave me one dollar each, I would have enough to buy this desk lamp I've had my eye on. Just one dollar. Have you ever thought about that?
Story Quote"The temperate zones where their physical bodies once took up excessive space were returned to nature. Within a century, it was nearly impossible to tell that people had ever lived there before. Anyone still using a body was exploring interstellar space." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI continue my job after this, meeting other patients with similar problems, many of which were caused by the same man who punished Tal. Speaking of Tal, the experts get together and invent what I suggested. I feel pretty good about it. I have never been so…important. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Oh," Arcadia says, eyes still closed, and reading The Superintendent's mind. "Your dog is meant to be born tomorrow, which means that our only choice is immaculate conception. I can make it so that nobody realizes that's what happened. Just give me a second." #BringingBackDaisy
Movie LoglineShe's a time traveler. He's an idiot with an unfitting name. Neither one of them knows what they're doing, but together, they'll have to make their way across the country to save the life of a future hero. Legend Has It, coming Spring of 2022. Rated NC-17.
Story Quote"It looked like something out of an old timey one-horse town, but this was clearly a big city. Freya figured that made sense, because most people here would have access to Landis’ panacea, which mostly negated the need for traditional medical practices." #darningwars #fishquotes
Time ClinicThe other patients aren't as easy to treat as Tal was. Then I meet someone who can only see ten minutes into the past. Her room has to be kept consistent, or she'll run into something that was moved too recently. It's practically impossible to communicate with her. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia removed her hands from the Superintendent's head. "It's done. Daisy Quake will be born tomorrow, May 23, 2018." // "She'll be the same as she was on my timeline?" he asked. // "Yes," she confirmed. "She's technically FROM that timeline. Just like you." #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingThere's a girl at work. We're on the same pee schedule. Unfortunately, she's already married, so I guess life really is just one big cruel joke.
Story Quote"Big surprise, Serif was leaving yet again. It would seem that the universe was working against them, always coming up with new ways to keep them apart. It wasn't the universe, though, it was something else. It was someone else, and he was unbeatable." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Time ClinicShe was born deaf, so sight was her only way to understand the world. Now that it's been distorted, she lives in isolation. They are presently teaching her braille, but that still involves a significant delay. I feel like there's a workaround to this, like with Tal. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"That means…" // Arcadia nodded. "That's the price. You came back to the past after a series of events that began with the existence of your dog, Daisy, in your timeline. But I took her from you, and gave her to him." She pointed to the younger version of him. #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryMy parents always keep their house at a temperature of 69 degrees. I used to think that was a coincidence; that it's just what's most comfortable. Now I'm thinking my parents are just high school sophomores. And now I hear it: "what's most comfortable". Gross.
Story Quote"They may not even be conscious of it, but a couple will have more children, knowing that some will die. That’s not what happened here. Parents will have relatively few children, and if all of them die, and they can't pass on their legacy, then so be it." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI spend weeks with Hera, trying to craft a solution, but I realize my main problem is that I don't know what the rules are. I haven't met that many temporal manipulators. I don't know their limits, and their weaknesses. I need to do more research or I'll get nowhere. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"If Daisy never existed in your timeline," she continued, "then the timeline couldn't have existed either." // "Then we've not solved anything," he realized. "He'll make the same mistake over again. He'll destroy the world." // "I can stop him," she offered. #BringingBackDaisy
Fake ConversationMe: "If you two don't quiet down back there, I'm calling @jtimberlake, and asking him to take sexy away from all of us! Is that what you want?" // My Kids: "No, dad." // There's no pun or clever observation here. I just live in constant fear that Justin will do this to us.
Story Quote"It didn't make them wonder if there was a better way. They only figured that all they had to do was tweak the investigative aspect. They just needed to better understand how and when people can change. They didn't consider helping them change, though." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicFortunately for me, the clinic includes a library, where I'm allowed to read up on whatever I want. Not much is written about people with time powers, obviously because they don't want their secrets getting out, but what little I find does finally spark an idea in me. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"How am I still here?" the older Superintendent questioned. "If you paradoxed me, why am I still standing here?" // "I'm holding you in a quantum bubble," Arcadia explained. "When I let go, you will disappear, and your counterpart here will forget you existed." #BringingBackDaisy
Dirty JokeI'm German for a whale's vagina. As in, if you give me a whale's vagina, I'll be German for you…or whatever you want me to be. I'm not here to judge.
Story Quote"A skirmish resulted in heavy loss on both sides. By the time a ceasefire was called, the settlers numbered 147, which just so happened to be the generally acceptable minimum for restarting a given population, as it was sufficiently genetically diverse." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Of course," I say to myself out loud. "Hera needs a mask of some kind that shows her ten minutes into the future, which should end up being the present." As it turned out, the resident time traveling inventor, Holly Blue, had already come up with something like this. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"I've left evidence," he pressed. "I posted on social media. I told this story to other people." // "That will be erased as well," Arcadia said. "Each post will be replaced by a different one." // "This isn't fair, I deserve my story to be told. I can't just…" #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryHere to convince you that Daniel Sickles and Philip Barton Key were the same person the whole time. If you don't get this joke, don't worry. I had to look it up a second time when I reread it, and now I've already forgotten who these people are. I'm sure it's a laugh riot.
Story Quote"Most worlds can't fight back, though many would like to try. Once the virus is released, the Ochivari and their allies bug out, and their victims have no way to follow. This time, though, the infiltrators didn't escape fast enough, and they were caught." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time ClinicI quickly find my boss, Nurse Nejla Koroman, who agrees to take my idea to Dr. Hammer and Holly Blue. I return to my room, satisfied that I probably just once again gave a real life back to someone who deserves it. Someone's in here, waiting for me. He looks menacing. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"I'll tell your story," the younger version of the Superintendent promised, finally speaking up. "I'll remember. Arcadia will retrieve her sister, Nerakali for me, and she'll blend my brain. You won't truly disappear. A part of you will live on in my fiction." #BringingBackDaisy
NanostoryI have twelve nipples, but I keep ten of them on my dog. Ya know, after writing it out like this, I'm thinking now maybe those ten are just my dog's nipples, and I really only have two. How can I prove this one way, or the other?
Story Quote"Obviously, the entire point of all this was to protect the species, but the price of not going extinct by some disease could not be going extinct by a lack of propagation. Instead of interacting in base reality, communities formed in virtual constructs." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Who are you?" I ask. // "Well, I'm the one what put wrong what you've put right." // "Huh?" // "The Cleanser. I'm the Cleanser. You have been undoing some of my greatest work. I put a lot of thought into how I torture those people." // "Well…you shouldn't do that." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back Daisy"Will it feel like death?" Future!Superintendent asked. // "It'll feel like nothing," Arcadia revealed. "It never happened." // He breathed in deep, and prepared himself emotionally. "Then best get on with it." Arcadia dropped the bubble, and all of time reset. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”The Pillsbury Doughboy killed someone in 1998, and I helped cover it up, but I just can't stay silent anymore.
Story Quote"That was one of the bad universes. Miss Collins would never use such a word, because she was a kind and understanding person, but all the students got the idea. It was populated by monsters, who broke off of the universe that Treasure’s mother was from." #darningwars #fishquotes
Time Clinic"Hm, I've never thought about it like that," he lies before changing back into his rude self, "except I don't care, because they deserved it, and if you're going to stand in my way, then you deserve it too." // "Fine." // "Fine?" // "Fine. Do what you gotta do, bruh." #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyArcadia disappeared at the same time, leaving the younger—and now only—version of The Superintendent standing there alone, not having recalled any of this time travel stuff. He met his dog, Daisy a few weeks later, fell in love, and just moved on with his life. #BringingBackDaisy
“Joke”If no one else has ever made a joke about the Bering Gay, or the Gay of Gibraltar, then I guess maybe it's just not that funny. Because I'm certainly not very original.
Story Quote"A well-respected scientific theory hypothesized that people were indeed living in a simulation already, and it didn’t make most people crazy. Hell, today was the day Leona went off to another universe to learn that it was kind of true, but she was fine." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Time ClinicThe Cleanser grimaces. "You're not gonna like it." // "Are you stalling until you can get it up, or something? If you're gonna torture me, then do it already!" I don't like bullies. // "Very well," he decides. He holds up a hand, and hits me with a blast of energy. #TimeClinic
Bringing Back DaisyAbout two years later, Arcadia returned to Universe Prime, as promised. She brought Nerakali, who blended the Superintendent's brain, showing him his alternate self. It is what has allowed him to tell this story—HIS story. But it is not where that story ends. #BringingBackDaisy
Random NothingThank you, Heavy 277. You are cleared for landing on the runway at 37R.
Story Quote"They knew that it was more important to finish the overall structure first, and stuff it with enough resources for the people to survive on. But they didn’t build individual units and rooms until later, in case it took them too long to finish Stage One." #bulkstories #fishquotes

June 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Rebirth of DaltonAfter I died, I fell in with the people who were in charge of the afterlife. It wasn't a real afterlife, mind you, but a virtual simulation where everyone goes after they pass. They trusted me immediately…but they shouldn't have. They should have locked me up. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWhen a timeline collapses to be replaced by a new one, everyone in that old timeline ceases to exist, like they never existed at all. But the time travelers who created the new reality in the first place will survive…unless there is a paradox. I was a paradox. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”Used rug for sale. History of urine.
Story Quote"They thought this simple restriction was all they would need, but there were problems, of course. It led them to prioritizing certain people over others—usually on a first come, first serve basis—resulting in an unfair system. It also resulted in chaos." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI don't know how he did it, but someone was controlling me. He let me move around however I wanted in the simulation, but if I did something he didn't like, he would cause me a great deal of pain. He forced me to spy for him, and then forced me to steal for him. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe timeline changed when I went back, but then a very powerful woman changed it again, and she did it in such a way that negated my original timeline completely. And if it truly never existed, then neither could I, so I just disappeared. But now I have returned. #ParadoxSurvivor
Dumb DittyMe: "🎤The wind blew them off // And blew them on again // Poor old Michael Finnegan, begin again.🎤 No." // Audience: "What?" // Me: "I will not begin again! I didn't even want to sing it the first time! I am not your monkey!"
Story Quote"The living human species, meanwhile, went on. They began to rebuild civilization, though not out of the ruins of the old world. They had to stay away from cities that were still falling apart from the war, which meant they were basically starting over." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonThe leadership and I were down in some secret tunnels, apparently in opposition with some people who were trying to take control of everything. But what they didn't know was that a man named The Cleanser was watching through my eyes, waiting for his opportunity. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe powerful woman's powerful sister came, and gave my alternate self my memories. With those, he recreated me. That's his power, to create characters. But he didn't want us to share a life anymore, so he didn't bring me back on Earth. He's put me somewhere else. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”They should make a sequel to #ThePostman called #TheGarbageMan. It'll have the same premise as the first film, except this guy decides to start picking up people's trash again. I guess that's exactly what he did in the first one. OOOOHHHH! SNAIL MAIL BURN!
Story Quote"The leaners slowly got even better at this when they figured out how to uproot themselves, inch closer to their prey, and reroot themselves at this new location. Their descendants became better and better at this, until they were pretty much walking." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonHis opportunity came when we discovered this to be the location of the White Staff; a very powerful object capable of transferring a consciousness from the afterlife simulation, into a new body in the real world. The Cleanser wanted it, so I grabbed it, and ran. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorHe didn't just keep me off of his Earth, though. He placed me on another planet in another universe. He knew that this would be where I wanted to go if I could travel anywhere, because I'm essentially him, just a few years older. This is where my story begins. #ParadoxSurvivor
Dumb Ditty🎙️My dog food brings Daisy to the yard, and she's like.."I like that dog food," and she's like.."I like that dog food. I would share this food, but I'm selfish, dude."🎙️
Story Quote"They didn’t genetically engineer anything, but they helped one evolutionary branch survive everything that would have otherwise prevented it from ultimately evolving intelligence. They helped them pass all their Great Filters, and become an alien race." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI expect the simulation leaders to chase after me, but they seem to have more pressing issues. I run up the steps, across the plaza to the nearest community teleporter, and input the coordinates to a different virtual world, where The Cleanser is waiting for me. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe people of this world—and many others like it—live peacefully, and in harmony with nature. They got rid of, or never developed, any technology that was not necessary to live without struggle. They focused on adapting their own genetics to reach immortality. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingI drank some nail polish remover to see if I was an alien. More data needed.
Story Quote"The soldiers were still chained up to the seats, but their arms were now free, so they could eat. They regarded her with fairly noticeable indifference, probably having realized that she didn’t know anything about them, and had no stake in their war." #darningwars #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI hand him the White Staff. "There. Can I please have my free will back?" // "Huh?" He's enamored by the staff. "Oh yeah, sure, sure. Whatever." He waves his hand towards me, but nothing happens. I guess I have to hope he released me, so I can go explain myself. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThere is no war, and no money. If I could design a paradise universe, this would be it. They travel the stars using interstellar wormholes, which occur naturally, but must be widened and stabilized to accommodate passage. They love creation, and hate destruction. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingIt smacks of open-handed violence.
Story Quote"She hadn’t been so mindful of this, but yeah. When Jupiter was in charge, it was somewhat antagonistic. He didn’t give them a choice. Now that Nerakali was the boss, it did seem a little weird that they were still bound by the same arbitrary limitation." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"You can go wherever you want now," he says. "That is…unless you want me to bring you back to life. It can be any life you choose. Anywhere, anywhen, with any powers you want. Just name it. You can even go off to save people again, if that's still your thing." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorSo I can get my bearings, my alternate self reconstituted my atoms a bit away from the village. I'm close enough to reach out to people, but far enough that I can spend time alone if I feel like I need it. I do. The relaxing purr of a river is rushing behind me. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingPig-bimpin'.
Story Quote"Their ancestors put so much effort into perfecting their bodies that they don’t have to work anymore. This is not because automation takes care of everything, like it does in other advanced cultures. They don’t work, because little needs to get done." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"How would you do that?" I question. "The Staff just resurrects people in a pre-made body. It can't give you powers." // "Are you sure about that?" The Cleanser massages the staff in what looks like a very deliberate way, like he's inputting an unlock pattern. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI walk over to sit on the bank of the idyllic river, and enjoy the solitude for a few hours. I don't have any responsibilities anymore, and it feels kinda good. It doesn't last, though. Unlike the people who live in this universe, I have to eat a few times a day. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI look around, and wonder…why do people take their masks off when they eat? It makes no sense. As everybody clearly knows, masks are supposed to hang under your chin, which allows you to put whatever you want in your mouth. Or to spit things out of it, such as all of your bullsh
Story Quote"They sent more probes, now even further out in the universe, but encountered no other lifeforms. Everyone was here, and everyone was either human, or descended from humans. They were disappointed and bored because of this. How could they be so alone?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonThe White Staff transforms, from the basic, sanded, normal wooden-looking stick, to this ornate object with switches, and other flourishes. I don't think the current owners of the simulation knew this was how it worked, or they never would have let me take it. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAs I'm looking around for anything that might be edible, I start to hear singing up the river. It's soft and comforting, just like everything in this universe, and it's headed right for me. Pretty soon, I see a raft floating my way. The singer is lying upon it. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI played one of the little women in an all male cast of Little Women. It's not that I don't remember which part I played. It's just that I've never seen it, so I can't even lie about which one. I've never read it either. Is it a book? I've never read it either.
Story Quote"They weren’t about to let a fascist plutocracy rule the lands again, and their anger clouded them to the fact that the only way to enforce their will was to become the fascists. Anyone who attempted to show them this reality was—you guessed it—executed." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"How did you know it could do that?" I ask, amazed, and upset that I'm amazed by anything The Cleanser did. // "I've been studying the afterlife simulation," he explains. "I know everything about this place, even things Pryce never realized." Pryce, the creator. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAs if sensing my presence as she approaches on the uncontrolled raft, the singer stops, and perks up. When she finds me on the bank, she smiles, and grabs a paddle to stop the raft. "Hey, there, friend. You look like an ancient human!" // "Not quite," I reply. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”The healthiest way to brush your teeth is to squeeze the toothpaste directly onto your teeth, rather than the brush first. You lose about 7% effectiveness by letting a minute amount of it evaporate before it even gets in your mouth.
Story Quote"Some children stay young for an extended period of time. Others will age too fast, often because some profound moment in their lives has transformed them into a different person, which only the illusion of the passage of time can meaningfully express." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of Dalton"So, what'll it be?" he offers. // "I can't change the proper physics of the real world, but I can translate any simulation ability that is possible in the real world from your avatar, to your new body." // Hmm. That's not something I've ever fantasized about. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI'm honest when I tell her who I am, and where I'm from, because I know it won't freak her out. Nothing freaks these people out. Going with the flow is their resting state, and also their elevated states. "That's interesting," she says. "Want a ride on my raft?" #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryThere is a little bit of pee on everything I touch. No, you misunderstand. I don't touch things when I have pee on my hands. It's just that a witch cursed me with there always already being pee on the things I touch.
Story Quote"The curator still didn’t know that it had magical powers, but she felt compelled to put it on display, and make up a story about its history. The museum was struggling, you see, and she just needed to get people back in the doors for the real artifacts." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of DaltonThe voice of the true leader of the simulation booms from everywhere at once, "hear me now, people of the afterlife. The experiment is over, and it is time to see The Beyond. It is time to live once more." // "If you want powers," the Cleanser says, "decide now." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox Survivor"Where are you going?" // "Nowhere in particular," she says with a shrug. "I'm just letting the river decide my fate." // "Sounds like a good enough reason to me." I climb on board, and we push off. She puts the paddle away, and we lie down to watch the clouds. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryIt's Hollywood's worst kept secret that @AaronRAshmore does not have a twin. @ShawnRAshmore is a fabrication he came up with to land more roles. It's like how a regular person will have two part-time jobs, because they can't get enough hours to be full-time at just the one job.
Story Quote"Where once she was isolated and unhelpful, now she was vital to the mission. She was getting a lot of exercise, running back and forth from the front of the ship, to the middle, to the back. It felt like punishment, but at least it was keeping her fit." #darningwars #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI don't have much time to respond. If Ellie resurrects me with everyone else, I'll come out normal. If I want to make a real difference in the world, The White Staff—and therefore The Cleanser—is my only hope now. "Do it." // "What powers do you want?" he asks. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorAfter at least a half hour of silence, I speak. "My name is Tavis, by the way." // "I'm Cricket," she says. // "Nice to meet you, Cricket. What are your pronouns?" // "He-slash-him," he answers. "Yours?" // "Same. Do you happen to have any food?" // "I sure do." #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake QuoteThe full quote goes, "the best laid plans of mice and men…will make you pretty, young, and thin."
Story Quote"Things were okay for now. Both of them just wanted to take it slow, and focus on their missions. It looked like that might be coming to an end, however. There just wasn't a lot of danger in the world anymore, and people like them weren't so necessary." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI wish I had more time to come up with an answer, but I can already feel Ellie trying to resurrect us all in her own way. I quickly go through my mental rolodex. I've met a lot of people with time powers over the years. Time travel, teleportation, immortality… #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorCricket carelessly gestures towards the other side of the raft, where his bag is. I assume the food is in there, so I reach in and help myself to some bread. It's very good, and quickly filling. Once I'm done, I lie back down, and we watch the clouds some more. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryMy dog is a pollo-pesceterian, just like me. This means that she only eats poultry and seafood—just like me—and the occasional squirrel or rabbit, raw and whole...just like me.
Story Quote"The evolutionary road that brought the two species to this point was a long and windy one, but the gist of it is that the nevilere started living in the hump for obvious reasons; as protection against predators, but it also does the same for the human." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of Dalton"Too late!" The Cleanser declares. "Too slow! Whatever your current idea is, that is what you are going to get! It's psychic. Here, hold this right here." // I grab hold of the staff, as he holds on as well. Just before Ellie can take us, I see a flash of white. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe keep drifting down the river for a few hours. We talk a little bit, getting to know each other, but we also just enjoy the sounds of nature. Suddenly, we crash into a rock. The raft completely falls apart, and we have to swim to shore. NBD, we're both fine. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryPeople always say that it's a free country, but that's not true. I paid $540 million for it back in 1871. I, admittedly, did not keep a watchful eye on it, and we've had some middle management issues, but I think the personnel changes I made several months ago are going well.
Story Quote"Most of the time, monogamy is not a very good survival trait, and it doesn’t always support the biological imperative. Sure, perhaps a child is better off being raised consistently by two parents, but evolution isn’t about the survival of an individual." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of DaltonNext thing I know, I'm waking up in a pod. I'm not having any trouble breathing, but I'm pretty disoriented. I know that I was just about to get resurrected, but I'm not sure if that was a second ago, or last year. I feel confused, and an urge to get to my feet. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe look downstream as the remnants of the raft, and all of Cricket's gear disappear around the bend. "I lost all my stuff," he says, nonchalantly. // "I might need to find shelter. I'm just a regular, unenhanced human. The elements aren't always kind to my kind." #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryHorses are our equals, which is why they call them equine.
Story Quote"People didn’t know what to think when Sea Goddess showed up on the scene in her colorful frilly outfit, and started fighting crime. They didn’t have the concept of a superhero. Comic books were predominantly about angsty teens, and exceptional athletes." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of DaltonSomeone is next to me, struggling to get out of his own pod. It's probably The Cleanser, but he looks different. Our new bodies don't look like us. They're just generic models that we can modify later as needed. For now, we just have to learn how to walk again. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox Survivor"I had a tent. But now…" he starts patting himself down. "Aha, yes. I do have a sleeping bag with me." He pulls out this tiny little thing that could never possibly expand large enough to accommodate a person, but these people once developed advanced technology. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryI've never touched my own penis.
Story Quote"They couldn’t build extensions, because the engines wouldn’t be able to handle more mass. They installed pocket dimension generators, which gave them extra space, without making the ship proper any larger. Something went wrong in one of these pockets." #bulkstories #fishquote
Rebirth of DaltonA robot comes in, and starts tending to me, followed quickly by another for The Cleanser. It escorts me down the hall, and into a waterfall shower. It's the perfect temperature, and the perfect pressure. Once clean, I relax in the hot tub for a couple of hours. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorCricket pulls a string, and releases the sleeping bag. It expands to be large enough for two people, but surely he's not intending for us both to use it. He strips down, and climbs inside. Then he clearly invites me in as well. "I'm in need of a good nap. You?" #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake ConversationTexian: "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" // Me: "I WAS BLACKED OUT DURING MOST OF THE 1830s!"
Story Quote"In the evening, he had a nice dinner, enjoyed an hour-long massage, then started his nightshift, which was… Well, it was different. Let’s just say that certain women were…interested in…seeing if his abilities could be…passed onto a new generation." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonThis new body is great. The skin doesn't prune, and I don't feel overheated. They took all the great things about being human, but removed all the bad. I tripped and fell on my face getting out, but it didn't hurt at all. Powers or no, I could get used to this. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI get inside the sleeping bag too, but keep my clothes on. It's going to take me awhile to get used to the carefree attitude of this universe. I'm in favor of the chill life, but it's not instinctual. We lie down back to back, and he zips it all the way closed. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingThe alphabet you all learned was wrong. Here's the real order: O, C, E, T, A, Z, F, U, R, V, S, D, B, X, G, I, J, P, W, L, Q, Y, K, N, H, M. You may be like, "that's an arbitrary order," and to that I say, so is the real one, innit?
Story Quote"That wasn’t the truth, but it was probably a good idea, seeing as that Treasure avoided combat training as she was growing up. They made it available to her, if she wanted it, but she never did. She wasn’t a pacifist, but she wasn’t a fighter either." #darningwars #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonWhen I step out of the bathroom, the robot is waiting for me. It escorts me down another hallway, through a large room, and into—what's that? Is that The Cleanser? He's in some kind of stasis pod. "Why is he in there?" // "He's a prisoner now," the robot answers. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorIt's always taken me at least an hour to fall asleep, and that's if I'm really tired. I didn't know until I was an adult that it takes most people about ten minutes. Here, I'm so comfortable that I'm out in a few minutes. I've also never been comfortable before. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingNot today, Satan! Not today! Tomorrow.
Story Quote"Leona pantomimed zipping her lips shut, not that it mattered. Nothing about what they knew of Hokusai and Loa’s future prevented them from one day traveling to Tau Ceti. They, in fact, did not know much about what would become of them. They lost touch." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"Why is he a prisoner?" I ask. // "The builder of the afterlife simulation, Tamerlane Pryce. He asked us to hold that man in custody indefinitely if he ever managed to get himself resurrected." // "Oh, weird," I muse. "Good, but weird. He didn't see this coming?" #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI don't know how long we sleep, because we have nothing to wake up to do, so it doesn't matter. I've always been obsessed with time, and managing time, but also yearned for a world where I no longer needed it. We awaken to find other sleeping bags all around us. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingAtheist: "I have faith that you will one day lose your faith, Faith."
Story Quote"It wasn’t technically against the law to modify yourself on purpose, but there were consequences. The government wasn’t obligated to help if you chose it for yourself, because you would be taking resources from innocent people, who had no other choice." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"He was reportedly surprised," the robot says. "Now come. We must return you to Earth." It leads me to a machine called a Nexus, which is capable of nearly instantaneously transporting people across the galaxy. I step down into it, and unceremoniously disappear. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorOne thing I didn't before know about this universe is that people engineered themselves to sense when others are sleeping nearby. They'll be compelled to do the same, for protection and comfort. They also sometimes wake up at the same time. That's happening now. #ParadoxSurvivor
NanostoryMan plans, and God laughs. She's relieved. "For a second there, I thought they were going to expect me to have some master plan for them. I have no idea what I'm doing."
Story Quote"Seven people who belonged to the Institute the entire time will be there to help guide the inheritors, and maintain order. These include a leader, a primary medical professional, an engineer, an electrician, a mechanic, a gardener, and a logistician." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI expect there to be some kind of guide to help get me back on my feet on Earth, but I'm all alone. There doesn't even appear to be a Nexus technician on this side. I assume I'm on Earth, but I can't tell that by staying in this room, so I walk out into the sun. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe crawl out of our sleeping bags and tents. Few seem to know each other, so it turns into a mixer, with everyone introducing themselves. Some people get out food, while others set up games. None of the activities are quite familiar, but they're not too foreign. #ParadoxSurvivor
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Oh, he'll be ready for your date in a few minutes. He says he just wants to finish one more episode." // My boyfriend: "Well, it's nice to meet you. My name is Channing. What show is he watching?" // My parole officer: "Charmed, I'm sure."
Story Quote"Many tuned in, not just for the competition itself, but the drama that surrounded the contestants. How they lived together during the season, even after people were eliminated, was an important aspect of the social experiment; perhaps most important." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI walk right back inside, because it's freezing out there. As far as my eyes can see, it's snow. No buildings, no roads. I have to gather some information, so I walk up the steps to the control room. To my surprise, the door is unlocked, and so is the computer. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorIt's a lot of fun, hanging out with these stranges, and playing a horseshoe-like game, and a sort of hopskotch. I'm not one for parties, and I don't like meeting new people, but I guess I'm a totally different person in this universe. I'm the best version of me. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”I just got this internet challenge. I'm meant to post five things I love about myself. Okay, I can do this. 1) I don't ever brag about mys—oh, no…
Story Quote"If the police weren’t going to police themselves, then the people were going to have to do it for them, and if the courts did not accept such evidence as legitimate, then the offending party was at risk of being crucified by the court of public opinion." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI'm confused, and I'm not sure I'm reading this right. When The Cleanser and I escaped the afterlife simulation, it was the year 2400. But if I'm understanding this, the Nexus technician sent me back to Earth in the year 2021. Was that a mistake, or on purpose? #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe event dies down as people gradually leave. Some are going to specific homes, but most are continuing to travel, just like Cricket is. One couple wants to start walking instead, so they give us their boat, and let us continue down the river, towards wherever. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingMy favorite actor is Colbie Smuders.
Story Quote"That’s one thing that I was right about. They were capable of demanding universal laws for the protection of their world, but they didn’t possess a spirit of cooperation, which stifled ingenuity, and slowed progress. They couldn’t last forever this way." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonWell, this sucks. I'm pretty sure someone works at the Earthan Nexus centuries from now, but I don't think people knew about it in this time period. Some time travelers did, sure, but they would be few and far between. I have nowhere to go. I'm gonna die here. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorFirst, I make sure that Cricket really does want me to continue with him, and he happily assures me that he likes having me around. People here don't come together in large communities for long, but I think they usually do stay in small groups, so I believe him. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”[This tweet has been pre-deleted for its inappropriateness in the present sociopolitical climate. Don't worry, you're not missing anything.]
Story Quote"People did not go down to the surface very often, instead deciding to leave it to the plants and animals. They mostly lived in large structures that were hanging from the bottom, down towards the atmosphere, like gargantuan stalactites. How interesting." #darningwars #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonI sit on the edge of the landing from the ramp, and hang my legs off of the edge. There is really nothing that I can do. I suppose I could try to find a way to send a message from the computer, but who would receive it, and what is their proverbial phone number? #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorWe keep going down the river for a few hours, now standing up to enjoy watching the trees go by, rather than the clouds. Something weird and large is up ahead in the water. We're headed right for it, and there's no avoiding it unless we just jump out of the boat. #ParadoxSurvivor
Random NothingI fall asleep after ten minutes if no one pushes any of my buttons.
Story Quote"There was no doubt that he could beat Mateo, and there was no getting around this fact. If they were normal people, maybe Mateo could sneak a gun into the duel, and just kill him, and it wouldn’t matter anymore, because the threat would be eliminated." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Rebirth of DaltonBefore I can come up with a pointless plan, a woman appears on the steps. She nearly falls, having not expected to show up on the stairs. I hop up, and catch her. "Oh, thank you," she says. "But I am here to rescue you…I imagine. My name is Daria." // "Dalton." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI'm a writer, not an illustrator, so though I would be pretty good at spotting elements from my stories if I were to come across them, there's no guarantee. I realize too late that the mass of energy is a temporary bridge, which will lead us to another universe. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”If there's one lesson I learned after my years of experience with the CIA, it's never accept a drink from someone who's trying to poison you.
Story Quote"He wasn’t the last in his generation, or even the parents’ only son. He was just the best choice for passing the baton. His DNA was strong, and so were his reproductive capabilities. If they couldn’t have him, no one could. Yeah, they were that sick." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"Do you happen to know where we are, Dalton?" Daria asks me. // "I do not. Somewhere cold. I couldn't see anything but snow outside." // "Hmm. Could be Antarctica." // "Yeah, maybe. But either way, you can get us both out of here?" // "Absolutely. It's my job." #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorI try to explain to Cricket that there is no way to know what kind of universe we'll end up in, but he just smiles. "I told you that I'm headed nowhere. I might as well just keep going, and see where that is." // I don't want to go, but I don't want to leave him. #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”A New Avengers: Endgame Theory Says That It's Just A Movie And All Your Dumb Theories Are Pointless, Because If There Isn't Proof Within The Confines Of A Narrative, Then It Isn't Real, Unless A Theory Is Posed by That Narrative But Unanswered, Like Whether The Top Keeps Spinning
Story Quote"The metaphorical picture of the universe is larger than a normal one when that happens, but my perspective hasn’t changed, so every detail is smaller. The point is that I don’t know how many loops these people went through. I only know that it was bad." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Rebirth of Dalton"Can you choose where we go?" I question. // "Nope," Daria answers. "The powers that be send me where they want me to be. I'm going to have to touch you now." She reaches over, and wraps her arms around my shoulders. Then we disappear from this wretched place. #RebirthofDalton
Paradox SurvivorThe water starts to move faster, pulling us towards the bridge, lowering the chances that it will collapse on its own before we get there. I didn't even think they ever stayed open this long. We arrive in enough time, and cross the threshold into the unknown… #ParadoxSurvivor
“Joke”Horses have wooden teeth. Scientists still aren't sure how they evolved to be the only animal species that grows wood.
Story Quote"She just had to make sure she wasn’t around too many people who had excelscians. She actually tried to join a community of non-excelschianed humans, but those were pretty exclusive, and always at least a little racist, so they rejected her applications." #bulkstories #fishquotes

July 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Siria’s WebMy name is Siria Webb, and I used to be a pretty normal person. I found myself working at a special clinic that treated patients who were suffering from time conditions. I loved it, but now…I've become one of them. But I'm not lucky enough to be at the clinic anymore. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseThe boat crashes into the side of a building. A crowd of passersby stares at us, surely wondering how we've seemingly come out of nowhere. It wasn't nowhere; just a different universe. The question is, what universe are we in now? It at least looks pretty modern. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”Why was this week's new episode of #BreakingBad five hours long? They spent so much time showing Walter Wright drawing fake hair on his legs after that coke dealer burned it off. I mean, I get that it was important, but did we have to be there for every sodding minute of it?
Story Quote"This is an extremely delicate dance, and there is pretty much no room for error. For the most part, the people in charge of the program know what they’re doing, and they don’t make mistakes. But of course, it wouldn’t be a story if it never happened." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI first find myself in dinosaur times. I couldn't tell you the year, or even what epoch, or whatever. I'm not a whatever kind of scientist would know such things. I only know that some kind of gigantic bird-like creature is heading right for me, so all I can do is run. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Are you okay, Cricket?" I ask. // "Yeah, man, I'm cool," he says. We climb out of the wreckage, and stand there, not sure what to do now. The crowd stares for a few more seconds before going back to whatever they were doing before, acting like it never happened. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryCurrently working my second job where I sneak onto movie sets with sunglasses and a bandana around my neck, pretend I'm meant to be there, and as soon as a production issue comes up, I just say, "we'll fix it in post." I like the taste of their screams on my tongue.
Story Quote"A few like-minded individuals came together, and formed an organization dedicated to this research. They did not have malevolent intentions, but they recognized the possibility that the dreamworlds could be weaponized in some way, or otherwise abused." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI run, and I run, and I run. I try to find somewhere to hide, like a cave, but I don't know how desperate this thing is, or how smart it is, and there could be something lurking in that cave anyway. I'm gonna die, and all because I antagonized such a powerful person. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Do you know where we are?" Cricket asks. // "No, but I can narrow it down," I say. "They have to experience weird things regularly enough to brush off our arrival so easily. My best guess is Bladapodoverse, but it could also be Fickleverse, or even Muxleyverse." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”The lifetime achievement award is the sickest thing this world has. It's great that you're appreciating this great person, who has done great things, but they might have more life to live. You don't have to condemn them to death just to acknowledge them. There are better ways.
Story Quote"Quino turned red, and closed his eyes in embarrassment. Now things were really awkward. What little info Kickstand disclosed wasn’t proof, because time travel, but there was really good evidence now that he and Treasure were destined to end up together." #darningwars #fishquotes
Siria’s WebAs I'm running, I see something out of the corner of my eye. Was it a tree, or a trick of the light? I take a risk, and backtrack a bit. No, he's real. He's an actual human being. Either this is a six-part movie series come to life, or I'm not the only time traveler. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Well, let's take a walk," Cricket suggests. "Maybe you'll figure out which world this is when you see a little bit more." So we do, we start walking. Yes, it does look a lot like Bladapodoverse, but I don't think that's it. That just does not sound quite right. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I once met a dude named No Reply. He was very lonely. Nobody ever responded to his messages. I essentially already made this joke, because I'm dumb and lazy.
Story Quote"Leona didn’t want to go anywhere. She didn’t want to stop her training, and she didn’t want to return to the Milky Way. This was her home now. No, she had to keep it a secret. Perhaps she would never tell them, and they would just live here forever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Come on!" I shout to the other traveler. "We have to go!" // "I can't move," he contends. "I can only travel out of here if I stand still for a long enough time. If I run now, I'll lose my charge." // "I'll help you charge up later, but if you don't leave, you die." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Then I see it. It could still be Bladapodoverse, but probably not. A man is walking backwards; slowly so he doesn't run into anything, but he doesn't turn his head. A little girl seems to be physically holding her eyelids open. A woman is drinking from a plate. #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingPretty grocery store clerk: "We all want to be safe during the pandemic. If you wear a mask in the store, I'll give you a kiss."
Story Quote"Psychics didn’t bother fighting against this, because they didn’t really care. There were better places to live anyway. The presence detector was allowed to live there without any grief, though, since it was her hometown, and she didn’t disturb anyone." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"I'm not going anywhere," the guy claims. "You can stay too, and I'll jump us both back to the future. I only need a few more minutes." // I grit my teeth, and debate it in my head. One option is quickly taken away from me when the dinosaur catches up, and attacks him. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Hypothetiverse," I say to Cricket. // "How can you tell?" // "In the main reality, people ask each other 'would you rather' questions. 'Would you rather walk backwards, or have to slide on your butt?' Things like that. This reality is beholden to those answers." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYou can mow snow. That's why they called it that. I know I should be posting this in winter, but…I'm working on July right now, and switching over to another spreadsheet tab just seems like too much work for a Twitter account that literally no one reads.
Story Quote"He knew that his creation could have consequences. He needed time to save his alternate self, but if that turned out to be impossible, it left at least one person who could reveal the secret to the world. What would he do then? How would he protect it?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI don't have time to stand there in shock. I've seen someone nearly die once, but never someone who actually died. But unless I want to be next, my only choice is to get back to running. After only two steps, though, something transports me away. I'm now on a mountain. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket nods, like he understands, but I know he doesn't. Part of the beauty of his people is that they accept what they learn, but the downside is that they don't question. They don't try to learn more. I'm surprised he's asked as many questions as he has so far. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYou want some callbacks? I'll give you callbacks. My parole officer got a sneak peak of this new series called #BreakingBad. She or he invited me over to watch, but I was too busy being a dead alien time traveling immortal secret agent with several wives, and I think that's it.
Story Quote"They still wanted to use their technology, and explore science, so they decided to colonize an island that was surprisingly equidistant from the land masses that would come to be known as Greenland, Iceland, and Ireland—around 690 miles, in your terms" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Help!" a voice cries, but I can't tell where it's coming from. "Help!" it repeats, and now I know it's off the edge of the cliff. I race over to find a middle-aged man hanging from a bush. "Help me up! I obviously can't aim for crap, so I'm afraid to teleport again!" #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseEveryone who lives in the secondary reality is trapped by their own alternate's decisions. Some people don't answer these entertaining hypothetical questions, and even if they did, this world would be crazy, but not dangerous. Still, what does that mean for us? #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryI just realized that I've never ridden an elevator with someone else. Sure, I've seen them get off when I get on, and get on when I get off, but I've always been alone when it's moving. Why do you think that is?
Story Quote"One world discovered how heavily populated the universe was shockingly quickly. Instead of gradually traveling farther and farther from home, they decided to stay on the ground, and focus on finding a way to jump anywhere they wanted instantaneously." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI lie on my stomach over the edge of the cliff, but I can't reach him. // "Please!" he shouts. // "You're too far away! Can you climb a little?" // "No," he yells angrily, shaking the bush enough to loosen a few fibers. "No!" he repeats, but now for a different reason. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe don't have alternates in the main reality, so we should be fine. I don't know what life will be like for us, but it'll be weird, I can say as much. The bridge collapse that brought us was an accident, and a rare occurrence. We have almost no chance of leaving. #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingI just printed about a thousand megawatts of pixels onto my mousekey.
Story Quote"Each jump would discharge the temporal energy, no matter how far, and the only way to recharge would be for him to dry off completely, and then go back out in the rain. If the storm had since passed, then he was stuck there until he could find another." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI watch in horror as the man slips from the bush, and falls towards his death. Once I'm ready, I pull myself back up to the top of the mountain to find The Cleanser staring at me with an excellent poker face. "Do you see?" he asks me. "Do you see now?" // "See what?" #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseI explain this world a little more to Cricket, and apologize for getting him into this mess. "Don't sweat it," he says. "There, here, anywhere. Who cares?" His capacity to be chill in any situation will probably always astound me. // "I appreciate your support." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryYeah, hi. I need to change my credit card number, I can never remember this. I was thinking something more like "1234". Oh no, that's not how it works? Well, can I at least change the expiration date?
Story Quote"The problem was that saying the locals deserved this would be an overstatement, but saying they didn’t deserve it didn’t sound right either. She could not justify rescuing these people at the expense of the truly innocent, which yeah, included herself." #darningwars #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Your time affliction," the Cleanser begins. "It is my best work. You shall be transported from place to place to witness others succumb to their ends. Some will be travelers, and some not, but they will all inevitably die, and you will be able to do nothing about it." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"We should find shelter and food," he suggests. "You say these people don't know that they are alternates? I suppose they still require that money stuff I heard about when I was studying history in my youth." // "I imagine so," I say, not a hundred percent sure. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryWith our patented dead coral reef bed, you can feel like you're sleeping on a pile of dead coral reef. How our technology works is that we wrap a pile of dead coral reef into a sheet, and call it a bed. But we didn't really make the bed—you made the bed—so now you can lie in it.
Story Quote"He was now evidently working closely with Team Keshida, and everyone in this lounge knew who he was. They didn’t seem to hate him, but they weren’t in love with him either. He took off sunglasses that didn’t make him look as cool as he probably thought." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s WebHe was right when he said that I wasn't gonna like what he was planning to do to me. I thought he was going to be torturing me with some kind of terrible temporal pain. But this is so much worse. He's going to make me watch people die, and I won't be able to help them. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe start walking around, looking for a place to get help, like an unemployment office, or maybe a construction crew that will pay under the table? We come across some strange people. One is petting himself on the head, and another literally can't stop laughing. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryTrump was a good president. People have the right to protect themselves with automatic weapons. Smoking only impacts those who actually smoke; not innocent bystanders.—Oh, I didn't see you there. Don't mind me. I'm just writing some wrongs.—North Korea is a great place to live.
Story Quote"The two friends went on a journey to find answers. They swam up the coast, trying to find humans who could explain their absence. The journey was proving to be longer than they thought, but they did not give up. They had to know if something was wrong." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Why?" I ask. "What have these people done to you?" // "Most of them have done nothing to me," he answers. "They are the agents of their own demise. All I'm doing is forcing YOU to witness. What happens to them is inevitable, whether anyone is there to see it, or not." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseAs we're walking, I notice a young woman eyeballing us from the other side of the street. Cricket is at my flank, so I control the speed. I slow down, she slows down. I speed up, she speeds up. She either wants to ask us something, or tell us something. We cross. #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryHey, I know it's only your second day here, but I have to go. It's a family emergency. Just keep working, and if the phone rings, don't answer it. It's just you from the future, begging you to quit this job soon, or you'll end up retiring having contributed nothing to society.
Story Quote"In exchange for his help, he wanted to be relocated to a universe that was free from all the drama and trauma. It would have to be normal and safe, and the Ochivari were not allowed to visit it again for any reason. These seemed like fair conditions." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"That is only a rationalization," I argue. "If you can put me there so soon before they die that I don't have time to help, then surely you can place me there with plenty of time to help. You could save them, but you choose not to. You can't call that inevitability." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"You seem to recognize us," I point out after we approach the stranger. // "Not personally," she replies. "What I recognize is that you're aware of how strange the world is. Are you able to see how weird it is that that guy is literally driving from the backseat?" #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”My university recruits the best, but our professors probably aren't good enough to teach the brightest.
Story Quote"As far as they knew, he was immortal, but they didn't know everything. Perhaps there was some weakness he quite deliberately withheld from them. That would be completely understandable. But the idea that no one won the contest? That sounded far-fetched." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"I think you're missing a very important fact." // "That you're the villain?" I guess. "No, I didn't miss it. What you're missing is that villainy isn't something that you just can't control. If you were truly as powerful as you think you are, you could stop anytime." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket and I look over. A man is driving very slowly, holding onto ropes attached to the steering wheel. A crutch is up against his shoulder, presumably pressing down on the foot feet. "You noticed that, eh?" I ask. "I didn't think anyone else would call such things bizarre."
“Joke”#ThatMomentWhen you realize #TheWalkingDead takes place over the course of, like, 80 years, and all these characters should be in their hundreds.
Story Quote"Kindness and Cruelty weren't the only two 'postates' to have known each other before The Rapture, but they were the only opposing forces to know each other, and they were the only ones to know each other so well. They obviously didn't get along, though." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebHe shakes his head. "You're relentless. I allow very few people to talk to me the way you do." // "You are NOT letting me talk to you this way," I argue. "You're punishing me for it, and I'm just still protesting." // "True. Are you asking me to commute your sentence?" #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"When did you wake up?" she asks us. "When did you realize so many things here don't make any sense?" // Cricket and I give each other a look. I'm not great with lying. I'm a great LIAR, but I don't like doing it, so I usually don't. "We're not from around here." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I have been on several wild goose chases, and have successfully caught dozens of wild geese, so I'm not sure I can appreciate what you mean by this idiom.
Story Quote"What followed was a series of missions from Earth designed to establish relations with other cultures, determine which others could pose a threat to them, procure useful technology and knowledge, and generally protect the galaxy from these warmongers." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Sure," I answer. "Instead of the punishment, how about we turn it around? How about you show the people of this timeline how good you can be when you try. How about you let me save these people instead? You have the intel, and the powers. I have the drive to help." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"We are from a different world," Cricket takes over. "Well…worlds. Worlds where such things don't exist. We never had to wake up, because we were never asleep, in the metaphorical sense, I sleep all the time. We're travelers now, though. How did you…wake up?" #Hypothetiverse
Site AlertToday marks the introduction of a new multiseries about a transgalactic FTL generation ship called Extremus. Each installment will take place one year after the last. There will be 24 installments per year, and total 216 installments. The first two volumes will be back-to-back.
Story Quote"They engineered their own ship, so little should be in the way of them realizing their goal. Even so, Team Keshida, as they are collectively called, are still not extremely jazzed about this situation. They have always been rather adept at hiding it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"What is it about me, and the things I've done, that makes people think that I'm interested in doing the right thing. I'm thousands of years old. I rarely say it, but I'm quite literally a god. I do not care about humans. You're just toys." // "I don't believe that." #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseThe woman sidesteps the part about us being from different worlds. I know the people of this universe have never heard of such a thing, but she seems to be too distressed to worry about it now. She looks away slightly. "It happened over a year ago. I saw myself." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I'm not mad, son. I'm just butthurt.
Story Quote"Everyone else seemed to agree as well, much to Olimpia’s relief. Though they had been friends for the last three years, she still felt a little bit like an outsider…like her opinion mattered less than the rest of the group. Of course that wasn’t true." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"You don't believe I'm a god?" he tries to verify. // "No, there's no real definition for 'god'. You're just as good as any example," I clarify. "What I don't believe is that you don't care about humans. You torment us too much not to care. You're passionate about us." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"I'm a scientist, you see. I'm a scientist in any reality. But my research has never felt like mine. When I figure something out, it's always like someone else figured out first, and then I found out about it. I didn't come up with my machine…a different me did." #Hypothetiverse
Sardonic Reality CheckHere in the Midwest, we study California history and culture every day, all the way until college. If you go to a Midwest college, you're required to take at least three semesters of California study. Some want to change that to every semester. We all just wish we could be you.
Story Quote"There were other things that people couldn't do on the islands, or which would be too difficult to construct. These included camping, skiing, and freshwater activities. Still, this did not change their minds. These destinations were just for vacation." #salmonverse [wrong hashtag (#bulkstories)] #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"Okay," the Cleanser says. Is he actually thinking about it? "I will give this a chance. I won't give anything away. I'm just going to throw you in there, and let you figure it out. If you manage to save them, you can keep saving people. If not, we do things my way." #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"You saw an alternate version of yourself? Did you speak to her?" I ask. // "No, it was like trying to yell at each other across a canyon. She was right there in front of me, but the sound didn't come through well, and the connection—whatever it was—didn't last." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryIn the psychophysics discipline, we have something called the rorschach limit. It is the closest distance from the center of a patient that a therapist can approach without their inkblots being torn apart by the patient's anger field.
Story Quote"It was like a global barfight, where some people started fighting just because someone carelessly bumped into them. Country A was trying to get to Country B when Country C got in the way, so Country C fought back, but accidentally hit Country D instead." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s Web"All right, let's try it," I say. I prepare myself to be transported somewhere else. // "Very good, sir," The Cleanser jokes. He reaches up, and tears the sun away, replacing it with the moon. He flicks all four fingers, causing the sky to darken, and stars to appear. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"So, that woke you up," Cricket says. "Now you know there's something else out there." // "Now I know my life is a lie," the woman explains. "It didn't just make me realize that an alternate reality exists, but that my existence depends on her, and what she does." #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingShe's lump, she's lump. She's in his head. It's not that complicated, so I don't understand why all the passing piranhas are so confused.
“Story” TeaseThere's no real microstory for today. Sure, I wrote something up, but I kept it meta, because it's supposed to be about a universe that doesn't have very much to offer. I don't care about it, and I don't want to contrive a bad story just to satisfy the series format. #bulkstories
Siria’s WebLastly, the Cleanser himself disappears, but without any further fancy finger tuts. I realize then that I'm standing on top of the ocean…like a wizard. It doesn't last much longer, though. I fall in and start treading water with all the others, watching the boat sink. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"If you're from another world," the woman continues, "does that mean that you can travel us to the other reality? Can you…fix this for me? For all of us? What is your purpose here?" // "We did not come with purpose," I try to explain. "It was a freak accident." #Hypothetiverse
Random NothingFor the love of God! "Al Madrigal" isn't a palindrome! If one more person tries to convince me that it is, I'm gonna lose my ish! I don't think that they're trying to gaslight me into thinking it's true, but into thinking that THEY think it's true. Why choose @almadrigal, though?
Story Quote"They had hypothesized that their alternate selves existed, but never dreamed that only one was primary, and the rest were only copies of her. The experiment alone pulled the wool from their eyes, and it was only a matter of time before the truth spread." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI look around us, and see no land, but that could just be because of how dark it is. I realize pretty quick that the Cleanser has simply set me up to fail. I don't have the power to teleport, or to—what the…where am I? I'm suddenly on land. Did I just indeed teleport? #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"So there's no hope?" the woman questions. // "Let's not give up just yet," I offer. "First, the introductions. I'm Tavis. This is my…um, this is Cricket. And you are?" // "Tricia," she replies. "But my friends call me Dr. Sims." // "Nice to meet you, Dr. Sims." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryTonight, my company is launching our brand new dating app called Pobody's Nerfect. We guarantee to match you with the hellmate of your nightmares. You will make each other miserable literally until death do you part, and if you try to break up, we'll…well, don't try to break up.
Story Quote"Because of how long the simulation had run, there were people from the entire history of civilization, which meant for every form of government Earth ever had, someone was around who had experienced it prior to their death. Which one would they choose?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebOnly then do I notice that there is something on my wrist. It's a little screen with what looks like a GPS location. If this is me on the island, this other dot must be the shipwreck. All I should need to do is tap on that to return. Then I can start rescuing people. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseMy face goes blank as I start to think I've retained some kind of quantum connection to my alternate self. I believe that something has been updated about the bulkverse, and it affects us right here. Yes, something has. I take Cricket by the arm. "We gotta go." #Hypothetiverse
NanostoryHe's the best cop on this police force? That's an extremely low bar. That bar's so low, I can walk over it without noticing. I can shuffle my feet without tripping over it. That bar is so low, I can dig down as far as humans have ever dug before, and still step right over it.
Story Quote"Halan partially blames himself for not being one hundred percent clear, but mostly blames her for having wandered off to a restricted section. Well, it was never technically restricted, but everyone else knows where they don’t have any business being." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s WebSo that's what I do. I jump back into the water, scoop up one or two people at once, and then jump them to the island. Then I go back for more, until everyone is safe. Now comes the hard part, where they start asking me good questions. Who am I? Where did I come from? #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Wait, that's it?" Dr. Sims questions. // "Yeah, sorry, we have to go deal with something," I say unconvincingly. // "What is going on?" she demands to know. // "We'll meet you around here tomorrow," I lie. I feel a little bad, but not too bad. It is inevitable. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”When a woman asks a man to form a permanent bond, she doesn't ask him to marry, she asks him to josseph.
Story Quote"They stopped thinking about it, and went back to their lives, playing RPS-101 Plus, and catching up. They told Ramses about the wonders of Flindekeldan, but chose to say nothing about his alternate self, who was by all accounts, a god of his reality." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Siria’s WebThe crew of whatever ship that was does look confused, but they're also mostly too exhausted and traumatized to ask questions, or say anything else, for that matter. Before they can, something teleports me away. I'm in the center of a football stadium. I am not alone. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseCricket doesn't ask questions as I'm leading him away. I can practically feel Dr. Sims behind us, debating whether she should follow or not. "We have to get out of this universe," I explain to him once we're out of earshot. "It's going to get rough pretty soon." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I think there's a dead bee flying around my house.
Story Quote"War had spread over the lands, and destroyed everything. There was nothing to see here. I told them as much before they left, but they insisted on seeing it for themselves. They had to know what the Ochivari did, and what the allies were fighting for." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebI'm in a room with a small group of people, all wearing the same thing on their wrists that I am. One of them orders an invisible computer to teleport us to some place I don't know. The whole room seems to move. I think we're on a spaceship. Then the Cleanser shows up. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"I thought we didn't have a way to get out." Cricket says. // "We're not meant to," I try to explain. "I've been expected to handle my own life, but things have changed. We came to a universe where I was never supposed to be. So my alternate self is sending help." #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”We should go back to 2008. Nothing bad happened in 2008.
Story Quote"All they needed in return was a quick little trip to the past to retrieve a historical figure. He predicted the way that they would one day live, but it was more like he made it happen by showing people how much more efficient and peaceful it would be." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebThe Cleanser is mad. He's mad that this group interfered with my mission. But I tell him that he set me up to fail. I never could have saved even one of those sailor people without the ability to teleport, which these people provided. This was not what we agreed on. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseI follow my instincts, and head towards the outskirts of the city. My alternate self will send the bulk traveling machine to wherever it is I end up, but that doesn't mean that I don't want it to be far away from prying eyes. The woods are several kilometers away. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”You're in a virtual reality, my dude. Nothing you feel here is real. That's faux fatigue, that's imitation itchiness, that's sham pain.
Story Quote"Chemical rockets are fine for getting off the surface, entering orbit, and exploring the solar system across decades. They’re not good for anything beyond that. You pretty much have to have fusion if you want to reach the stars on reasonable timescales." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebBefore The Cleanser and I can get into a real argument—or these spacemen can say anything about it—another guy teleports into the ship. I get the sense that no one here likes him, not even the Cleanser. I choose to hold off judgment until I learn what's going on here. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseWe come to a good place to exit the universe, and sit. While we're waiting, Cricket doesn't ask me any more questions about why we're escaping, and I don't explain what's going to destroy this world one day. We just chat, and get to know each other a little more. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”I moved to Kansas City to become an actress.
Story Quote"Even if the traveler succeeded in the mission, it would have to be a one-way trip, which people were all right with. The main draw was that they didn't know what would happen to the original timeline. That was what really made so many people volunteer." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebHe's called The Warrior, and he appears to be some kind of rival to The Cleanser. I like him already. But seriously, it's this other group of people who seem legit. I carefully move myself around the room to make sure I'm closer to them, and farther from the other two. #SiriasWeb
HypothetiverseI expect The Strongbox to show up, because it's whole thing is transporting refugees. It's not a machine at all, though. It's a woman who appears before us. It's not instantaneously, though. Her atoms are reconstituted gradually, so it must be Hogarth Pudeyonavic. #Hypothetiverse
“Joke”War, huh, yeah! What is it good for?! Giving me the opportunity to be a serial killer, while hiding this fact behind a veil of plausible deniability! Good god, y'all!
Story Quote"Even though they were the people who wanted to explore the universe, they still didn't feel any desire to consume more than was necessary to live safely and happily. They didn't settle on any new worlds, because they wouldn't get anything out of that." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Siria’s WebThe Cleanser and The Warrior argue with each other, and mostly ignore the rest of us. Apparently, the latter is in charge of the group, and he wasn't meant to interfere with my mission to rescue the people on the sea vessel. Whoever wins will evidently decide my fate. #SiriasWeb
Hypothetiverse"Good—" Hogarth begins to say, then looks around. "Afternoon?" // I shrug. "Good day. I appreciate you coming for us." // "I need the practice." She might think we're worried about being her guinea pigs, but I trust her, and Cricket trusts me. It's time to leave. #Hypothetiverse
Good PointJust because it's called coffee cake, doesn't mean it's cake that's made with coffee. It's cake that you eat while you drink coffee. I mean, what kind of IDIOT would interpret it any other way? Is apple juice made from apples? Is ice water water? You must be so embarrassed. Sad.
Story Quote"Halan, meanwhile, goes up to the passenger section, where Airlock Karen is trying to yet again regale her tale of woe to the random people who have accidentally found themselves within her blast radius. He’s going to need to be as charming as possible." #salmonverse #fishquotes

August 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Tracer GangstersIt's been four months since my new friend and I found ourselves trapped in the future. He was declared dead four years ago, and I've been considered dead for fourteen. For weeks, we figured there must be a way back, but we've slowly given up. We belong here now. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeWe have to leave Hypothetiverse, because it's a doomed world, but I don't know where we go from here. I ask Cricket if he would like to return to Moderaverse, where he's from, but he doesn't want to. He wants to see new places, so I have to decide where we start. #CricketandMe
NanostoryI got a chance to see #TheMatrix4, and I think I liked it, but it was weird at times. Like Dozer says, "there are no rules in #TheMatrix anymore. We can all be mice!" And then they were mice for the rest of the movie. Plus, the way they brought him back to life was…too sexy.
Story Quote"Leona cleared her throat pointedly. “There aren’t seven of us, there are six.” There had been this unspoken agreement that everyone would pretty much stay quiet while the gods fought with each other, but Leona hated bad math, and she couldn’t let it go." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersI won't lie, it's been rough. Since we're dead, we don't have identities, and since we weren't sure what we wanted to do, we haven't been making much effort to get some new ones. That's changing today. We've finally found someone who can get us off the streets. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeI run through the list of universes that either I, or my alternate self, created. I can't communicate with him directly, but he updates me when he learns more about what's going on throughout the multiverse. I think I know where we can go. It's not safe, it's…fun? #CricketandMe
“Joke”I cannot WAIT for this third and final season of #BreakingBad. I hear we're finally gonna learn who broke the bad, and whether they'll be expected to buy it.
Story Quote"Yes, he was violent, but he was ending wars, because people no longer had the suitable resources to try, and they were all coming together under one banner anyway. Eventually, no one was left to fight, because they were either dead, or on the same side." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"I've never heard of anyone named McQuaela," the forger says. "Are you married to it?" // "I suppose I should change it, since it is so rare. That's the point of a new identity." // "Most people don't like to change the first name, but it really is for the best." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Fun?" Hogarth questions. // "Well, it's not fun, per se. It's more like it's not boring," I try to clarify. "There is a diversity of populated planets. So a life there would be, I guess, as interesting, or as simple, as we want it to be…depending on where we go." #CricketandMe
Random NothingThis is DJ Tav-El, and you're about to be listening to Legs by The Knees (Feet. The Toes).
Story Quote"Again, the scientists would never know how the mission turned out. Even if Starcatcher did manage to find a world just next door, the trip was still going to take decades, and none of them was young enough to still be around. This was all about faith." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"And what about you?" The forger asks. // "Just give me a generic name, like James Smith, or something." // "Are you two related? Married?" // "Unrelated," I clarify. "Not together." We have no romantic feelings. He's, like, a million years older than me now. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Where do you WANT to go?" Hogarth asks. // "I don't have a list of planets. My Alt!Self and I know very little about this universe. I only know as much as I've said. I suppose you could just take us to that universe's version of Earth?" // She smiles. "Very well." #CricketandMe
Random NothingI would like to find more information about your business using the world wide web. Please send me an electronic mail message with your AOL Keyword.
Story Quote"This powerful instinct had to be quelled once the people realized that their universe was not vast enough to accommodate infinite expansion. Such population control was no longer necessary—not here—and they had no intention of taking that for granted." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThe forger steps over to his computer. "James Smith, born June 14, 1997 in Cedar Rapids. Sorry, it's just that when you say you're from Iowa, people stop asking questions. Next I have Kalisha Willard of Springfield, MO. Do you want me to make you 18 years old?" #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Keep our destination in the front of your mind," Hogarth tells me. "Think of nothing but where you want us to go." // She's one of my characters, so obviously I know how psychic-based bulk travel works. Also obviously, I don't say that, I just follow instructions. #CricketandMe
“Joke”I'm writing a parody of Farce of the Penguins called Farts of the Penguins.
Story Quote"To open a portal massive enough to accommodate the ship, a certain number of Ochivari had to be sacrificed, but when the homefront battle was over, that number was not high enough. They would have to breed more. But would such offspring not be innocent?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"Wait, are you asking me if I want you to say on my documents that I'm 18 years old, or if I want you to actually make me 18 years old?" // The forger shrugs. "Either. Both." // "So that gravedigger recommended you for a reason. You have powers." // "Of course." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeHogarth holds my head to form a better psychic link. Once she's ready, she tears all our atoms apart, and reconstitutes them in another universe. I open my eyes to find that we're now standing in a Nexus. Me. I'm actually standing in a Nexus. Hogarth isn't with us. #CricketandMe
“Joke”This soup isn't French onion-based, it's bouillabased. 🎼It's all a bouillabaisse, bouillabaisse; no onion!🎼
Story Quote"They probably should have sent researchers back down on a regular basis in order to stay up to date on how to protect against the ongoing evolution of disease, but I imagine they didn’t want the public to think it was a good idea to return permanently." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThe forger goes on, "I don't just print a fake ID that I can hand you right now. I create a new history for you. If someone were to look for your hardcopy grade school records, they would find them." // "Cool," I say. // "Yeah, man," James Smith agrees. "Cool." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Is this where you wanted us to go?" Cricket asks. // I look around. The place is empty, so there's no way to know which planet we're on. We hear a relaxing warning bell. I've never heard it before, but I guess that it's indicating that a traveler is coming through. #CricketandMe
Random NothingAssociate Professor of Lunar Sciences at NYME. Nive Yadico Mooniversity Equatoria.
Story Quote"Though this is the first death on the ship, it’s not like the grief counselor has had no work until now. Many left loved ones behind on Gatewood, and will almost certainly never see them again, which is a form of grief, so she's had plenty of patients." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersHe hovers his finger over a button. This will autogenerate a backstory, based somewhat on your real story, so you don't have to pretend to like racecars, when you're more into horses. Now, it won't alter anyone's memories, but you are about to become someone new. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"We better make ourselves scarce," I say. "We don't know how we'll be received." I hop over, and try to open the door to the outside. It's not locked, but it's blocked. // "What now?" // "One option." I lead him up into the control room, and activate the computer. #CricketandMe
Fake ConversationMe: "You look familiar. Are you famous?" // Andy Samberg: "You may know me from #BrooklynNineNine." // Me: "You May Know Me From #Brooklyn99; title of your sextape. NOICE!" // Andy Samberg: "You can't noice yourself." // Me: "You Can't Noice Yourself; title of your sextape."
Story Quote"They assumed Angela would be the most comfortable here. It wasn't her time period, but they were closer to it in terms of technology. She was actually the most uncomfortable, though. Because she already lived through it, and she knew how much it sucked." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersMcQuaela—that is, Kalisha—leaned against the wall. Sure, she was sad to leave her past life behind, but it ultimately felt like destiny. This was what her life was always meant to be. "Do it." // James simply nodded in agreement, so the forger pressed the button. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeJust as the travelers arrive from some other world, I turn the viewing window opaque, to prevent them from seeing us. I think this is the first time humans went through the Nexus network in this universe. I think this is where their interstellar adventure begins. #CricketandMe
NanostoryHe's started calling ankles ankholes. I don't know if he's doing it on purpose, because he thinks it's funny, or if he's developing a speech disorder, but either way, I have no choice but to file for divorce. What else would you have me do?
Story Quote"Everyone was vegetarian, whether they would have chosen the diet on their own, or not. When they emerged, that still couldn’t change, and it probably never would. They set free the animals they had, and let them do whatever they wanted with their lives." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThe machines started up. Some were printing hard copies, while others were evidently sending both virtual, and physical, documents to the past. Kalisha and James, meanwhile, didn't feel any different. They would have to memorize and practice their new identities. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeOnly once do travelers come when this place isn't crawling with military personnel, so this must be the beginning. I don't want to interfere with their first impressions, so Cricket and I have to hide away. Fortunately, I know where to go without access to the exit. #CricketandMe
Random Nothing"Thank you for calling customer service, what the hell is your problem?"
Story Quote"There’s sometimes a learning curve, but we typically grow up with a fairly high understanding of ourselves. We know what we can do, and we have a pretty good idea of what we intend to accomplish with our gifts. Some are good, some bad, but none is lost." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"So, what are you going to do with your new lives?" the forger asks as he's gathering our packets. "I have already completed your basic histories, but I've yet to draw up any résumés. Would you two like to be qualified for cushy jobs, or under-the-radar jobs?" #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeWe hear someone trying to open this door. A little lockpicking will do the trick. "Computer," I prompt. "Emergency isolation, all organisms in command center." // "Authorization," the computer asks. // "Authorization read my damn biometrics, and follow my orders!" #CricketandMe
NanostoryChuck Norris has a lap when he's standing up. What a jackass. Yes, this is a Chuck Norris joke. Yes, I wrote it before I knew what a major piece of crap he was. Yes, I considered switching the joke to Jared Padalecki, but I wasn't sure whether you would recognize the format.
“Story” TeaseLike July 21, 2021, today's microstory isn't much. The universe I featured in the original Bulk story was based on ten mostly unrelated dreams that I had over the course of about eight years. They're not interesting, and not canonical, so the universe is unstable. #bulkstories
Tracer Gangsters"Well," I begin, "since I'm not quite 16 yet, I don't really have any skills. I suppose I ought to learn how to run. I don't like it, but it's how my time travel power works, so I better figure out how to control it." // "I can help with that," the forger says. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Authorization accepted," the computer announces. That is when the door opens. Just as a young woman manages to step through, the computer teleports us to the highest level. ALL of us. The soldier holds her firearm up, and tries to assess the situation. "Report!" #CricketandMe
Fake ConversationMe: "Objection, Your Honor, on the grounds that the witness is a dick!" // Judge: "Members of the gallery are not allowed to object. But…sustained."
Story Quote"They could remember being so disappointed about how alone they were in their home universe. They figured that the best way to help was to create connections, so no one else would experience the same feelings of isolation. They built more Nexus networks." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"You're going to train me to run, and how to use my powers? Or rather, NOT use them?" I question. // "Not me," he revises. "There's a group here in Kansas City. You might call it a gang. Some of them are like a volunteer police force, but others just do parkour." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"We're not here to hurt anyone," I claim to the soldier while I'm holding my hands up defensively. // "Where are we?" she demands to know. // "I believe it's Earth." // "I mean this room. What is this?" // "It's like a holding area. We are not allowed to interfere." #CricketandMe
Random NothingI keep forgetting to be a good person.
Story Quote"Five wanted to follow the Sheltren into the bulk, and find a new race to protect. The other five wanted to repeat what they did before, and foster the evolution of life in this universe. Their leader was the deciding vote, but she wanted to do neither." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"It's a gang, though?" James questioned. // The forger tilts his head side to side. "It's an anti-gang gang. Kind of like, if you can't beat 'em, become like them, and compete against them. As I said, though, there's a whole group of them who don't fight at all." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"You're not allowed to interfere with what?" she questions. // "With your world's development. You have recently discovered the network, correct? We came to witness," I lie. "We were meant to watch from a distance, but the computer was being difficult." Not a lie. #CricketandMe
Random NothingMy dog's dark passenger has really done it this time…
Story Quote"The very idea of the Bridgers was spread throughout the passengers and crew as a way to frighten those who might go looking for proof of their existence, while maintaining the very real possibility that there is no proof, and that it’s all just made up." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThe forger continues, "look, because of who you are, it's best to stay on the fringes. The leader of the tracers knows about time travel. She'll protect you, and she won't let anyone ask any questions. Any time you wanna leave, you leave. There's no blood oath." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Take us back to my people," she orders. // "I can't do that. I can't let you tell them we're here." // "They have noticed I'm missing," she spits. // "Have they?" I ask. "No one saw you going for the other door while they were all trying to get through the exit. #CricketandMe
“Joke”My favorite thing to do is disappoint people. Do you need someone to babysit your children?
Story Quote"It made no sense when considering time travel rules. This version of Anatol existed. And no matter what they did, this version of him would continue to exist. Any other version in any other timeline would have to be assimilated either way, so who cares?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"Or don't do it," the forger says. "It ain't mandatory." // I look at James. "What do you think, James?" // "That's not James," the forger says with an evil grin. "I never go THAT generic." He hands him the driver's license. // "Gabriel Bloodworth. Interesting." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"They would notice I'm missing either way," she argues. // I point to the wall. "That machine is designed to fit 24 people, and 32 is pretty much the max. You had 31. Maybe you just never made it off that planet." // "So, you're threatening me." She lunges slightly. #CricketandMe
Random NothingWhat happens when an electron collides with a positron? Nothing. Neither one of them exists. The universe doesn't exist. Life is an illusion.
Story Quote"They have determined that life itself is good enough, and as long as it never ends, they shouldn’t worry about advancing beyond it. They don’t need faster ships, or cooler tech. All they care about is relaxing, and exerting as little effort as possible." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThe forger's watch beeps. "I have another client coming in eight minutes. Please take your packets, and leave through the front. I gave you directions to a Tracer meeting spot, should you decide you would like to pursue it. Thank you, and have a nice new life." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeI sigh. "I wasn't lying when I said we wouldn't hurt you. We just have to protect our anonymity. Your people were meant to find the Nexus, and start using it to help the galaxy. If they catch us here, it'll throw that all off balance. They'll focus too much on us." #CricketandMe
“Joke”The word 'quip' is a portmanteau of 'quick' and 'pee'. So called because if you wanna say something real witty while you're peeing, it's gonna hafta be short, 'cause you ain't got much time.
Story Quote"They had no way of knowing how the mission turned out. Did they make it to another universe? If so, why did they not return? The chances were too high that the ship didn't survive, for one reason or another. They decided to stay, and never try again." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersWe leave the forger's den, and head back to the bright sun, holding our packets. "So," I begin, "what do you want to do…Gabriel?" // He laughs. "He didn't give us any money, or a place to live. He didn't charge us either, but we still need to find a safe space." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeShe drops her guard just a little. "So there are more? There are other machines like this one, and the one on the other planet?" // "That's why they call it a network," I confirm. // "And you're saying I can't ever go back." // "I'm saying that you don't want to." #CricketandMe
Random NothingFeathers are special leaves that grow on birds, instead of plants.
Story Quote"He spent the next few years just hanging out, and enjoying the peace and quiet, but that grew to be incredibly boring, so he decided to make it his mission to clean up the world. He started deploying robots to tear everything down, all over the planet. #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"You're saying that we should trust these gangsters?" I presume. // "I'm just sick of living in the trailer, and picking up under-the-table jobs. If they can help us get on our feet, I wouldn't mind it. Plus, I do think that you need someone to train you to run." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"You seem to know who I am. Are you about to tell me you're from the future or something?" // "Or something," I say. "I'm Tavis. This is Cricket. And you're…" I must pause for a canon update from my alternate self. "Corporal Claire Fuller of the U.S. Marine Corps." #CricketandMe
“Joke”All right, please pay attention as I hand out assignments. Terry Jeffords, cup duty. Amy Santiago, tumbler duty. Jake Peralta, can duty. Charles Boyle, carton duty. Doug Judy, jug duty. All that for a tiny bit of word play? Nick, you're slipping. #BrooklynNineNine #Brooklyn99
Story Quote"Most films played in the right temporal direction, but not all, and though everyone else was able to comprehend a story out of the backwards dialog, she didn’t have any idea what the hell was even going on. They usually wouldn’t give her her money back." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"Very well." So we go to the meeting spot that the forger's note indicates. We only wait for five minutes before a woman shows up like she knew we would be there. Perhaps he called to warn her. She introduces herself as Slipstream, and tells us we're home now. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Are you trying to tell me that it's my destiny to go with you?" Claire asks. // "I believe it is, yes," I say. // "Anyway, it's impossible," she decides. "The Nexus chamber will never be empty from now until the end of time." // I smirk. "Thats' not the only way." #CricketandMe
Random NothingSomeone stole my answering machine. That thing was brand new. I bought it for $900 last week.
Story Quote"Since the Omega Gyroscope is so small and seemingly innocuous, the three of them thought little of it. They just threw it in a shoebox, and focused on the rest of his effects. It was only later when one of them, bored at the estate sale, idly spun it." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"Did that forger tell you who we are?" Gabriel questions. // "He's not THAT forger; he's THE Forger. And he didn't say anything about you. This is a safe space, where anyone who wants to join us can show up. I am the only one with access to that camera's feed." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Computer, please open the auxiliary controls." // "Releasing controls," it replies. A workstation comes out from the wall. // "Okay, now unlock all potential Milky Way destinations." // "All destinations available." We take a look at the map. Cricket seems excited. #CricketandMe
“Joke”I'm thinking about getting into professional basketball. Does anybody know if any teams are hiring for an entry-level superstar basketball player job? I've never done it before, and I'm not a quick study, but I need the money, and I'm sick of office work.
Story Quote"Satyria likes to be heard, but she doesn’t just want people to think that she’s important. She wants to actually be important, and to earn all of the recognition she receives. She works hard to contribute to the cause, and never rests on her laurels." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"We're mostly looking for a place to live," I explain to her. "We don't want to fight other gangs, or whatever it is you do." // "That can be arranged," Slipstream promises. "We also run a city-wide courier service. It comes with room and board, but minimal pay." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Can I pick the planet?" Cricket asks. // "Sure, you can. But it's hard to find the right one. This will tell us the planet's conditions, like surface gravity, and atmosphere, but it doesn't tell us if the people who live there are friendly. Let me sort it first." #CricketandMe
“Joke”Oh, honey, if the power of Christ could compel me, you wouldn't have to say it so many times.
Story Quote"A young Anatol Klugman stood up, and approached them. Though he had just spent the last several years killing Prussian enemies in every war that his state was involved in, he appeared wide-eyed and naïve. He had yet to become so cynical and combative." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersI'm hesitant to make any sort of decision, so Gabriel answers for us. He's not being a pushy jerk. It's just been the two of us for the last several months, so he knows me well enough to know what I want, but can't say. We need jobs, and this is our best shot. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeI run through the list of planets, sorting out all the ones with non-human aliens, or complicated social structures. It takes me a hot minute. I'm relying on a sort of passive update from my alternate self, since I didn't come into this knowing the best destination. #CricketandMe
Fake ConversationMe: "Hello, I'm the guy who won the lifetime supply of free gas. I tried this card, but it says it's expired. How is that possible?" // Customer service representative: "Yeah, you must not have read the 'mayfly clause'. Sir, we don't specify whose lifetime that's referring to."
Story Quote"Luckily, there is hope. Someone else's nevilere can birth an offspring without the host having anything to do with the process. It can then donate it to the other host. The challenge is coaxing it to do this. Nevilere are smart, but still just animals." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersWe follow Slipstream a few blocks down, into an apartment complex that she says the gang owns in its entirety. I wonder where they get all of their money if they don't commit any crimes. Surely a little courier service isn't profitable enough to afford all this. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and Me"Okay," I say when I'm done. "You can pick out of these twenty-four possibilities. I don't know exactly what people there will think of us, but they shouldn't attack right away, and I know for a fact that it will have a breathable atmosphere. Have at it, Cricket." #CricketandMe
NanostoryI invented an alarm clock that would wake me up at 4:00 AM. People were always, like, "can I get one that goes off at 6:00 AM?" And I'm like, "no. I have to wake up at 4:00. I'll make one for you, but I don't care what time you need to wake up. I'm the only one who matters."
Story Quote"The more he begged her for a date, and the more she rejected him, the most frustrated and erratic he became. He was both not thinking about the rules, and didn’t care about them. He wanted sex, and he was going to get it, whether she was willing or not." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersShe sets us up in our very own apartment. It's only a one-bedroom, but it's clean and nice; much better than the bridge we were under. "You can start training next week. For now, just relax. There is a grocery store down the street. Here is your first stipend." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeCricket studies the screen like he can tell the difference between the planets. "This one." He tries to point to the one on the bottom of the sorted list, but neither of us realizes that he's also initiating transport. His finger taps the wrong one anyway—a bad one. #CricketandMe
“Joke”I just want to make sure I get this right. I first have to check myself, and once I'm finished with that, I'm free to wreck myself? I usually skip that first step, but if you say it's better, I guess I'll try it your way.
Story Quote"Benedict got a lot of help from them, but he didn’t realize until later that this support group had a bizarre secret. It turned out to be the source of recruitment for a budding superhero organization, and they wanted him on the team. Him? Really? Why?" #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"Five hundred bucks?" I exclaim. "For a month?" // "Oh, no, no, no, no, no," Slipstream says. // "Oh, okay." That would be a lot. // "That's for the week." // "You said that we didn't make much," Gabriel reminds her. // "And you don't. $24,000 isn't much at all." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeBefore I can stop it, the Nexus powers up, and transports us all to our destination. For some reason, instead of dropping us off in the secret auxiliary room, we land right in the main Nexus chamber. A group of people in body armor have their weapons trained on us. #CricketandMe
NanostoryI called the restaurant to find out the status of my order. Instead of putting me on hold to check, she left the phone on the counter. She evidently forgot I was there, so I just listened to her and her coworker talk about their summer plans for three hours. The food never came.
Story Quote"At any one time, no more than half the population would exist. The other half would be out of the timestream, and would only return later in the day, after the first half had disappeared. In between was a transitional period, when almost no one existed." #bulkstories #fishquotes
Tracer Gangsters"I'm not following the math," Gabriel admits. // "You each get $250 a week stipend for food, and living expenses. That's $13,000 a year. As part-time couriers, you'll earn $11 an hour, which is around $11,000 per year. That adds up to $24,000, which is not much." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeA man of some form of authority makes his way through the guards, otherwise unprotected himself. "Who are you, and how did you breach our access restrictions?" // "We are but peaceful explorers," I explain. "We do not know why the computer let us come unannounced. #CricketandMe
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Who here is brave enough to sit through this whole movie? Who can watch all of Candyman?" // Me: "Mandy can! Mandy can! Mandy Can! Mandy can! Mandy can!"
Story Quote"The stars that you see as being lined up aren’t necessarily anywhere near each other, unless you pretend that the celestial sphere is two-dimensional, and only when looking at them from a particular point in space, which has traditionally been Sol." #constellations #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersThat being said, Slipstream leaves us to begin our new lives. The place is bare. We'll soon need some cheap furniture to make it feel like a home, but for now, we sit on the floor against the wall. "Can you believe it?" I ask. "We're in a gang. We're gangsters." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeThe man of some authority studies our faces. Fortunately, Claire set her gun on the floor immediately, presumably recognizing that she was severely outmatched. We try to appear as innocent as possible. He sighs. "Throw them in hock. We'll deal with this afterwards." #CricketandMe
“Joke”I just got out of the #DeepState, and boy are my arms tired.
Story Quote"While Valencia starts to go over the report with her team, Omega returns to his new lab, which is the one that Old Man had before he made himself disappear. Halan has given Omega a lot more leeway with his work than either of them ever thought he would." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersGabriel nods agreeably. He holds up our check, and also his banking information sheet. "We should deposit this. She only gave us the one check, though, so you should take it. I'll get the next one." // "Thanks. You've changed a lot, man. We both have, I suppose." #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeThe other soldiers obediently take us by the shoulders, and practically drag us out of the Nexus chamber, down the passageways, and into the hock. I catch the eye of one of them after we're in. There's something about him. He's getting an idea. What is he thinking? #CricketandMe
“Joke”Lady Gaga's onscreen love interest is played by Sir Coocoo.
Story Quote"It sure did make a lot of sense. They should have known all along that The Warrior wasn't going to let them save lives without there being some kind of catch. He was a killer, and if he couldn't compel them to kill for him, he would have to loop a hole." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersWe order in that night, then sleep on the floor. It's not that bad after what we've been through. The next day, we go shopping. We drop all of our money on ramen noodles, mac & cheese, a couple of mattresses, and two high chairs so we can just eat at the counter. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeI look at the young soldier, trying to figure out what he's going to do. He's nervously watching as most of the others file out of the room. Two are left besides him. He's about ready to pounce. I slowly shake my head towards him, but it only seems to energize him. #CricketandMe
Fake ConversationHost: "Name this part." // Me: "That's a turn—turn-something. It's a, uh…b-b-b—the thing that blinks! It blinks! It's a blinker!" // Host: "And this?" // Me: " Um…feet! No, your foot. Foot! Feet! Footfeet!" // Host: "We were looking for turn signal, and gas pedal, you moron."
Story Quote"So Kestrel [sic] and Ishida came to the decision to make Project Andromeda travel much faster than most people living in 2255 thought possible, under the assumption that the truth would eventually come out, and be fine. They constructed 11 small vessels." #constellations #fishquotes
Tracer GangstersOn Monday, we begin training for our courier jobs. It's not what I thought it would be at first. We're not issued bikes or mopeds. Slipstream tells me that we're going to figure out how to tap into my power, and use it to deliver items across the city instantly. #TracerGangsters
Cricket and MeThe soldier attacks his own compatriot. Seeing this as an opportunity, Claire pushes the cell gate back open before the other guy can lock it. She takes him on, and soon, they're both out cold. "Come with me. The resistance will want to meet you," the traitor says. #CricketandMe
Random NothingIn 1493, Columbus sailed the ocean green. It was green back then. It didn't turn blue until the 17th century.
Story Quote"I think I can do it. I enter the code, and slip under the door before it’s all the way open, as if my other neighbors somehow won’t notice if I’m quick enough. I turn her bike over, and start to remove the wheel carefully, but as quickly as possible." #constellations #fishquotes

September 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Hotel DodekaI'm in charge here. Yes, my boss, Meliora is technically the one in charge, but I'm next. She's responsible for rescuing future residents from Earth. Once they arrive, it's my job to check them in, and be available to assist them with anything they need. Welcome…to #HotelDodeka.
Veldelcian RevolutionI am a traveler from another universe, as is my new friend, Cricket. Soon after we arrived here, we accidentally traveled to the wrong planet with another new friend, Claire. Now it seems we've all been roped into some kind of uprising. They want us to help. #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Me: *Holds up glass* "To little! To late!" // Crowd: "Here, here!"
Story Quote"We didn’t speak a single word on the way. As far as I could tell, he was mute. We arrived exactly where you would expect someone like him to live; in a dilapidated and unpainted cabin. He pointed to my door, as he was stepping out of the car himself." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaThis place isn't actually named #HotelDodeka. That's just what I call it in my headcanon. Sanctuary is in the form of a hotel because that's what makes the most sense for what we need. The residents are refugees from Earth; those who would've died at the hands of time travelers.
Veldelcian RevolutionA soldier spy who introduced himself as Faregrim Kanah is leading us through the Nexus base. The Nexa were built by aliens from another universe, and are only large enough to fit the chamber, a control room, and storage, but users can construct additions. #VeldelcianRevolution
NanostoryI was actually diagnosed with tripolar disorder. Sometimes I feel angry, sometimes I feel happy, and sometimes I feel like I shouldn't make light of serious psychological conditions that affect the lives of real people everyday.
Story Quote"It is the most I’ve ever seen in my entire life. These banquets only take place every several years, and attendees can reportedly drink as much as they want, but I’ve never heard confirmation of that. I hope it’s not true, as it would be so wasteful." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI sleep in the backroom, so I can hop to it if a guest comes down to ask for help. They're pretty self-sufficient, so I don't have to do it often, but it's happening right now. I don't even wear night clothes anymore. Someone I don't recognize is waiting at the desk. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionNo one catches us as we're sneaking around, or once we make it through the exit. A vehicle is waiting at the door. Faregrim directs us to get in. We don't know if we can trust these people, but we're strangers in a strange land, so we don't have much choice. #VeldelcianRevolution
NanostoryEveryone: "DVRs make it easier to skip through commercial breaks." // Ad Exec: "People wanna see commercials that tell them to go to a website to see how it ends!"
Story Quote"I may have never been alive at all, and everything I’ve seen has been an illusion to make me feel small, sad, and alone. This then would simply be a deeper level of the hopelessness that I have never not felt. I realize that it doesn’t really matter." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI should recognize every resident of Sanctuary. I wasn't the first one here, but there weren't many when I arrived, and I asked for this job shortly thereafter. How is this stranger here? We are millions of light years from Earth, and warded against time travelers. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe car drives us away from the Nexus base, and I come to the realization that our successful escape is bittersweet. Yes, we would have been locked up, but that is the only place that will allow us to leave, and go to another planet. Now we're stuck here. #VeldelcianRevolution
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "The buck stops here." // Me: "And then what does he do, stand there and stare at you until you make a sudden move?"
Story Quote"He opens his mouth, and rolls his eyes to the back of his head as he pulls at his shirt collar. He’s pantomiming dying. He’s pantomiming dying in section four. For whatever reason, when the gridship rendezvouses with Extremus, people are going to die." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaHe's spinning around and admiring the architecture like a privileged teen on his gap year European walkabout, hands cupped around his backpack straps. "Hello, I would like a room," he says before he even stops to make eye contact with me. // "What?" is all I can say. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionWe drive along the countryside, and into what appears to be a secret underground tunnel. It's not locked up, but you probably have to be looking for it to find it. We arrive at some kind of paramilitary installation. People with weapons are bustling about. #VeldelcianRevolution
Fake ConversationMe: "I'm going to kill whoever invented spiders." // My parole officer: "That would be God." // Me: "Oh, THAT yahoo? Nietzsche, hold my purse."
Story Quote"Jeremy smiled at her. 'Oh, good for you. That must be so rewarding.' He liked women, but since he grew up only existing during about twenty percent of the year, he had very little experience with them. When he saw someone he liked, he came on strong." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"One room, just a single, nothing fancy, cheapest one you have," he clarifies. // "Where did you come from?" // "Out there," he answers, confused as to why I would ask such a question, and apparently unaware of the fact that out there is an alien planet. // "Huh?" #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Here we go," I say to myself, knowing that things are about to get really complicated, and that there will be no way of knowing whether we're on the right side of whatever revolution this is until it's too late. Faregrim and the driver lead us into a room. #VeldelcianRevolution
Dumb Ditty🎧Basically what we're gonna do is lance! You can eat your sausage meat while the men compete! Basically what we're gonna do is lance! Basically what we're gonna do is lance! Come and get your seats well in advance! Yeah, that's right, medieval knight!🎧
Story Quote"They manage to get in a few good hits, but he’s powerful and relentless. I get the sense that he’s not here to save me, but that he has some kind of personal vendetta against these people, and I just happen to be in the right place at the right time." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"I know it's late, but I've been hiking all night. I don't know WHAT you're doing out here in the middle of nowhere, but I'm grateful." // "Sir, this is a private hotel. We are designated for a very specific clientele." // He squints. "What, like Hotel Transylvania?" #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionTwo people are standing at a table, having been discussing strategy with each other over a map. Another woman is standing guard at the door. One of the strategists steps forward. "These are the ones that came through the Nexus?" // "Sir," Faregrim answers. #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingR, as in Robert; O, as in Oh, Robert; B, as in Boy, Robert; E, as in Every time, Robert; R, as in Really, Robert?; T, as in Try harder, Robert.
Story Quote"I look over, but don’t think that’s a door, because it’s all bulging and splintery. Doors are meant to be straight and flat. People are yelling on the other side. They sound pretty mad if you ask me, but I don’t know why, since everything is so okay." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI take a beat. Wow, this is indeed starting out exactly like Hotel Transylvania. How odd. I recognize that dancing around the truth won't help, because he'll want to go back home eventually. "Sir, you're on a planet called Dardius, in a galaxy called Andromeda XXI." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"They must be important for you to have broken your three-year cover," Faregrim's superior officer points out. // "They are," Faregrim says. "They broke through all access restrictions. They appeared right in the main chamber, rather than the holding cell." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”One if by land. Two if by sea. Three if by sky. Four if by space. Five if by the future. Six if by an alternate reality. Seven if by another dimension. Eight if by the invasion was inside us all along.
Story Quote"Hi, my name is Malone Lamb, and I would like to be your next trip planner. At Auriga Itineraries, we know that when you’re on vacation, all you want is to relax and have fun. You shouldn’t worry about being overcharged, underserviced, or mistreated." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"No," the man argued. "I'm in the Amazon rainforest, on Earth, in a galaxy called Milky Way I." // "Amazon, you say?" I ask, opening my pathbook. "Let's see. There are indeed some natural rifts, but none of them accounts for your appearance here. Ah, Saga Einarsson." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"They did, huh?" he asks, intrigued. "So you can get ours to work." // "Yours?" I ask. "You have your own Nexus?" // "Is that so surprising?" // "No," I answer. "I imagine it doesn't work because the main Nexus is programmed to limit all incoming travelers." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Why did Captain Riker not bother having the doctors fix his eye after an alien stabbed it? I dunno, why? Because one eye will be sufficient, Ensign.
Story Quote"My mama comes, and tries to pull me back. I s’pose she’s willin’ to let a cow die just to protect the three of us. That ain’t okay with me, I’m tellin’ you that right now. This bobcat can chew on a cactus, for all I care. It is NOT gettin’ past me." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"Saga Einarsson," he echoed. "Is that a band, errr…?" // "She's a time traveler. Evidently, when she was first called up in another timeline, she left behind a tear in the spacetime continuum so powerful that it followed her into this reality. You happened upon it." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Why would how the government limits incoming travel to THEIR Nexus have anything to do with OUR Nexus?" Faregrim questions. // "Most planets don't have more than one. The engineers—probably unknowingly—control for interstellar travel, not the Nexus itself." #VeldelcianRevolution
Dumb Ditty🎵Little bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and petting them gently, and playing with them nicely, and doing all of this consensually!🎵
Story Quote"I’m only good under certain conditions, like when you want someone to steal all of your stuff without breaking a sweat, or if you need a mediocre file clerk who’s always making mistakes. This chisel represents me: alone, and not especially valuable." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"You…you think you're serious. You actually think that we're on another planet." // Without another word, I reach over and grab a random vacant room keycard. After taking him by the hand, I pretend to insert the card into a doorlock. This teleports us into the room. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe leader steps to me. "Bottom line, can you fix this?" // "I don't know if I should." // "Why not?" // "I don't know who you people are. Maybe you intentionally smoke poison, and eat babies, and the government is trying to stop you. We cannot interfere." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Speak of the devil, and he probably won't appear. I am VERY busy.
Story Quote"She’s not wearing protective headgear, or a respirator. It’s mostly just to keep her clothes clean of the soot and ash. The internal computer system appears to be fairly intact. It’s a sophisticated ship, meaning it took time and resources to complete." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaThe hiker looks around, stunned. "What black magic is this?" // "It's called teleportation," I explain. "We just teleported. YOU teleported. You teleported on another planet in another galaxy. This is all happening. The good news is that there is a way back home." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"We got you out of the holding cells," Faregrim argues. // "There's no way for me to truly know whether that was a good thing or not," I argue right back. "Again, maybe you're baby-eaters. We just cannot interfere. What we CAN do is faciliate negotiations." #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingIn space, no one can hear you scream. But they CAN hear the sound of crazy alien space lasers, and big explosions.
Story Quote"No. This was what Anatol wanted, and they had already decided that they couldn't let him control their lives forever. The whole point of shunting their friends away was to protect them so they could work against him safely. They might as well start now." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaHe looks around the room in awe. It's not impressive on its own, but the fact that he wasn't here a second ago makes it the most insane thing he's ever seen. "I dunno. Who could just go home after coming across something like this?" He pauses. "Can you show me more?" #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Well, I can't facilitate negotiations," I amend, "but that's Corporal Fuller's specialty." I indicate Claire. "It would be the only way for us to know who deserves help, and who doesn't. Bonus, if the talks go well, maybe none of you will need help at all." #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingHi, it's nice to meet you, I'm Negan, you're Negan.
Story Quote"It wasn’t designed to accommodate a tiny giraffe, so I cut down some of the bamboo, and planted more to make it bigger. This is where Giorgia sleeps. I bought a smartspeaker so she can listen to sounds of the jungle all night long, and she loves it." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"That's not my right," I explain. "Like I said, you're not even meant to be here. I think it would be best if you just returned home, and forgot this ever happened. We can send you back to the Amazon, or to wherever you live." // "I don't live anywhere. I'm a nomad." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe guard escorts us out while the other four revolutionaries discuss my proposal. I am incredibly impressed that they are actually considering it. These military types, they usually don't accept outsiders coming up with their plans, even if they're good. #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Oh my God, "Karen", I got shot on the right side of my chest. I'm gonna be fine, relax. We don't have to rush to the hospital. Let's finish our meal first.
Story Quote"That was when we realized what they were doing. They weren’t trying to kill us. They were trying to make us like them. They were infecting us with their crabbiness, and letting a cancerous disease spread throughout our bodies, turning us into them." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"Amazon it is," I say definitively. "I'll just need to contact The Chauffeur". He's the one who transports people safely from Earth to the hotel. Other people are capable of it, but normal humans will usually get sick when exposed to time travel. He can prevent that. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionFive minutes later, the door opens. "Okay," the leader says. "Nowhere on Veldelcia is safe. I know of a neutral planet where negotiations could be held, but you would have to unlock Nexus travel for us to get there." // "I can do that temporarily," I agree. #VeldelcianRevolution
Fake ConversationMe: "We're in the middle of a pandemic." // Alien: "Why have I never heard of it?" // Me: "Well, it's only on Earth." // Alien: "That's not a pandemic, that's an epidemic. A pandemic would be if it were across the galaxy." // Intergalactic Alien: "That is also only an epidemic."
Story Quote"It tried to go after poor Moonica, so we’ve been dispatched to take care of it. That bobcat knows where it can find food now, so if we don’t put an end to its life, it’ll come back later. Boots and our parents can’t watch over the cows all the time." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaHe doesn't seem to like the idea of me contacting someone called "the Chauffeur". Believing he can catch me off-guard, he drops his bag right there on the floor, snaps the keycard out of my hand as if it holds any power, and runs out of the room as fast as he can. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe leader gives Faregrim a look. I chuckle. "When I say temporary, I mean one trip, supervised by me. Don't think you can use it as an opportunity to go elsewhere to bolster your revolution." // "That will be fine," the leader says. "I'm Baladt, by the way."#VeldelcianRevolution
NanostoryI'm brokering a deal between two people who also don't really know what brokering means, so they shouldn't figure out that I'm a fraud who has no idea what he's doing.
Story Quote"Our design has become more sophisticated over time, and we’re on the verge of launching the next generation in our popular funtime series, which features characters from a certain children’s TV show that all you parents out there are familiar with." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI relax and plop down on the bed as I'm tapping my glasses. I can see the hiker rushing through the hallways, trying to figure out how to avoid being sent back home. I let him waste his breath a bit before using my security privileges to apport him back to the room. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Nice to meet you, Baladt. Do you have someone who can safely convey messages to the government on your behalf?" // "We do," he confirms, "but we can only play that card once." // "If it stops the fighting…" I say without finishing the sentence. // "Right." #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingSave a cowboy, ride a washing machine!
Story Quote"I like to crawl on the floor and bark at people. They seem to think that it’s cute, but if I stop being the dog then I won’t be able to do it anymore. My dad doesn’t get to see my dog game very much anymore because he always works in the big office." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaHe falls into the chair, confused, but completely unscathed. For a second, I think he might get up and try to run again, but he realizes it would be pointless. This is MY hotel, which means it's MY playground. Now all he can do is beg and hope. I might consider it. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe government agrees to negotiations, and to the neutral planet that Baladt picked. Apparently, they've been trying to enter peace talks for awhile now, so they could join forces against an external threat. I command the second Nexus to authorize one trip. #VeldelcianRevolution
Fake ConversationParole officer: "What the hell are these?" // Me: "You really don't know what these magazines are?" // Parole officer: "Haven't you heard of the internet?" // Me: "Yeah, but the power goes out in the city a lot." // Parole officer: "Fair enough, but…floor-to-ceiling stacks?"
Story Quote"Nah, he’s up to something. Nobody should be in this section of the ship unless they need to talk to Thatch, and no one needs to talk to Thatch unless they’re hatching a scheme together. Thatching a scheme. This is all very sus. Halan can't trust anyone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaHe holds up his hands defensively, like he thinks I might physically attack him. I'm just sitting comfortably on the bed. "Okay, okay," he says. "I think it would be easier for us to be reasonable if we knew each other better. I'm Jared Trent." // "Dodeka Sarkisyan." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe government's reps are already on the planet when we arrive. There are three on each side: Baladt, Faregrim, and a skilled negotiator; the Prime Minister, the military leader we met when we first came here, and their negotiator; plus the three outsiders. #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Most of the time, I have 206 bones in my body. Sometimes, however, I have 207. Another inappropriate joke? I never said I was a role model.
Story Quote"Surprisingly, the Constant was large enough to accommodate everyone. They proceeded to the recreational area, where a football pitch and basketball court had been constructed. The five non-Kivis stood before the Kivis, who were sitting in the bleachers." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"Wow, I never would have guessed that. Dodeka Sarkisyan," Jared echoes. "My name is profoundly boring in comparison." // I shrug. "I'm used to it. This changes nothing, knowing each other's names. You still can't stay in the hotel. I have to protect these people." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionEveryone greets each other politely, and introduces themselves. They are surprisingly cordial, and I'm hopeful that this is all going to go well. As we're trying to leave through the chamber exit, the Nexus powers up again. The two technicians act confused. #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”Why are there so many women on this show? #YTheLastMan
Story Quote"You may be asking why I would do this. Why create an amphibious goat? The truth is that not once during the process did I ask myself that question. It seemed like such a natural objective that I never considered there needed to be any sort of reason." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"Who are these people?" Jared asks. "Why do they need protection?" // I think I can answer as long as I'm not too specific. "Their lives have all been negatively impacted by time travel, and they would still be in danger if they lived on Earth. I'm in the same boat." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"No departure coordinates," a tech advises through the speaker. // I realize what's happening. "Get out!" I order. "Everyone out now!" // "What is this?" the Prime Minister questions. // "It's going to explode!" I yell. "Go!" I run up into the control room. #VeldelcianRevolution
NanostoryI've been studying epidemiology on the side since before #COVID19 was but a twinkle in Donald Trump's eye. When I wrote this, I used his @ handle. That's how far ahead I am with these scheduled tweets. #coronavirus
Story Quote"Carina was a quiet person, both literally and socially. She spoke in low volumes, and said unprovocative things. She didn’t like to disturb people, and even now, when calling out for help could save her life, she struggled to speak beyond a whisper." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"So I was hiking through the jungle, minding my own business, when MY life was negatively impacted by time travel." // "I get where you're going with this, but you can't have it both ways. You can't say that coming here harmed you, so you should be allowed to stay." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionAs Claire is ushering everyone out of the chamber, I pull the technicians down so the blast debris doesn't hit us. We are not totally unscathed, though. The computer is also affected by the explosion. Fortunately, the fire suppression system remains intact. #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”One time, I got totally wasted with a pilot in an airport bar. He did this knowing full well that he had a flight in an hour. But don't worry, he didn't fly the plane. I sent him home, and then I flew it instead.
Story Quote"Customers were bewildered. Shareholders were outraged. Everyone was stunned. Never before had a company attempted to pivot so drastically. It would prove to be their downfall, but also the beginning of a new trend. The world would thank them later." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel Dodeka"Please. Let me stay for a little while. I want see all the wondrous things this hotel has to offer." // "There aren't many wondrous things, it's mostly the keycards," I try to explain. "The whole point is to get away from time travelers, not to become like them." #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionThe three of us exit through the command room door, and walk around to meet the others outside. The eight of them seem to be okay too, at least physically. Everyone is angry, and immediately starts pointing the blame at each other. They think it was a bomb. #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingI'm one-half of a three-person band.
Story Quote"One day, when alone, I encountered something I had never seen before. We have come across many other tribes, but we try to steer clear, worried that the curse will befall them as well if they spend too much time with us. We would wish this on no one." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI take my master key out of my pocket, and stand. "You will remain here while I confer with my superior. You may use any of the room amenities, but will not be allowed to leave. That is, you won't be ABLE to leave." I tap the deadbolt with my key, which locks him in. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"It was not a bomb," I try to explain. "Nothing has been sabotaged. It was an accident." // "You knew this was coming," Faregrim accuses me. // "I saw the signs," I continue. Spontaneous Nexus activation plus no incoming traveler sometimes equals explosion." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”It must be nice, having enough money to see the sunrise in the morning, and the sunset in the evening. That is a lot of travel. You see, I live on the west side of the planet, so I've never seen a sunrise before.
Story Quote"The last remaining residents of Cepheus stayed for a reason, because we didn’t want to interact with the world anyway. Still, we couldn’t ever produce everything ourselves, like shaving cream, and medicine. For that, we waited for the Hercules wagon." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaOnce I transport back to the lobby, I hold off on saying anything to my boss. She clearly has enough on her mind right now. Jared can just sit in his room all day tomorrow, and enjoy the break from his hiking. If I had known what was going to happen to me, though… #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Clarify," Claire insists fittingly. // "Cricket and I are not just from another planet. We're from two different universes, out of an infinite bulk of others. In one of them, someone very powerful was still learning about her powers when she used a Nexus." #VeldelcianRevolution
Fake ConversationHero: "Hey, would you like to go to dinner with me sometime, but then not appear in another episode, and never be so much as mentioned again, so I can ask out some other random woman I help next week, who will also only last one episode?" // Widow: "I would be honored."
Story Quote"A lieutenant is decidedly NOT next in line for the chair. Mercer’s real job is to coordinate between departments, including the executive crew. As an executive herself, Valencia enjoys a direct connection to him, and therefore requires no such liaison." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaA second incursion happens the next day. I never do find out if they're at all related, or just a coincidence. A very powerful man with temporal powers sneaks in with his just as powerful sister. Together they attack my boss, and quite nearly kill me in the process. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian RevolutionI go on, "the egress Nexus exploded, and since all Nexa are technically linked to each other, because they were all built by the same small team of immortal engineers, many—if not all—Nexa throughout the bulk will explode at some point in their histories." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”That was terrible, they really left in all the stops.
Story Quote"Dr. Hammer posited that backwards-thinking time travelers necessarily did not exist, because if they were too tied down to the culture of their given day, they would never learn to escape it. Perhaps social responsibility was an important prerequisite." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaAfter a good guy defeats the brother, he runs out of his temporary temporal energy, and can do nothing about the sister. She's free to continue with her mission, which is apparently to restore the memories of one of our residents. Even my boss is hopeless to stop it. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Can you stop it?" Cricket asks. He hates death even more than most, and he worries about it a lot. // "This was inevitable. People think of time as being linear but it isn't. I would if I could, but…it already happened." // "We're stranded here, you know." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”I have really bad rage issues. When I come across a light that's dying, I…I lose it.
Story QuoteFish are drawn to its pretty colors // Birds try to rest upon its back // It snatches them up, and spits them back out // They are never the same // The darkness is on them forever, unless someone like me comes along // Only we are compelled to help them // #nanopoetry #fishquote
Hotel DodekaOnce our resident unwillingly gets her memories back, the powerful sister turns to me. I'm evidently giving off a vibe that I'm shaken by the experience, and scared. "It's okay. I'll take away the pain." Before anyone can stop her, she erases my memories of the day. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"I would have guessed that," I say. "I assume that this is a neutral planet because it would take a ship too long to get here, which makes the Nexus the only viable option." // "Yes," Baladt says. "We're all dying here…eventually." // "I don't accept that." #VeldelcianRevolution
“Joke”So you're saying all I have to do is go to Vegas, and I can learn all your secrets? I don't think you've thought this system all the way through.
Story Quote"We didn’t know why the hell we were doing any of this—why it mattered—but it felt good to deceive others. It felt like power, knowing that people trusted us who really shouldn’t, and that we could hurt them if we chose to. But we never did. Not once." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaShe removes her hands from my head, and I feel great. I don't know what just happened, but I know who the woman is, so I suspect some of my memory has been altered. My boss doesn't seem too upset, so I guess I asked her to do it. I decide to move on without question. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"Can it be repaired?" one of the techs asks. // "If you know how to repair it, yes," I answer. "People do it all the time. My worry is that we don't have the resources. This sounds like a pretty bad place to get stranded on." // "Let's go assess the damage." #VeldelcianRevolution
NanostoryOoo, I didn't see you standing there. But we weren't talking about you anyway. This is a different Corona Virus. She's this bitch I knew last year. Sorry for the confusion. I hope we're okay. // Real talk: no, we're not okay. That BITCH is still here, and it's YOUR fault.
Story Quote"I will no longer attempt to walk alone, or find my own way. I will surrender to your wisdom. Your needle always points North, and knowing that, we can make our way to any way that we wish. Um. I think this metaphor is getting to be a little too much." #constellations #fishquotes
Hotel DodekaI keep working at the hotel as the first face that anyone sees after transport. One day, a couple of months after the incident that I can't remember, I'm helping a new resident into his room. It should be completely clean, but it's not. We find a dead body in there. #HotelDodeka
Veldelcian Revolution"While they are on that," I say, "I see no reason the peace talks can't go on as planned. Let's see what we can do to make your world a better place before we even get back there. Corporal Fuller…mediate away." We walk over to the meeting house, and begin. #VeldelcianRevolution
Random NothingThe way you move your hands when you're putting on moisturizing lotion is called the loisturizing motion.
Story Quote"My life is meaningless now, and I was raised in a world where meaninglessness meant uselessness, and uselessness meant a drain on resources which could be going to someone who contributes to the survival of the species. I have to find my new purpose." #constellations #fishquotes

October 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Tractus DeliveryI'm a time traveler. I've done it twice now, but both times on accident. I've recently joined a gang, the leader of which claims she can help me learn how to control my power. She's failing already. I just ran two months into the future, instead of two minutes. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonSo here we are, trying to mend the differences between two sides of an internal global conflict in one building, and trying to repair one of the most powerful inventions in the bulkverse on the other. And me? I'm in the middle, because I serve no purpose here. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryMy son invented childproof pill bottles when he was three years old.
Story Quote"They try to treat her medically, but nothing does her any good. She’s corporeal, yes, but the drugs have no effect on her system. She is not a ghost, but she’s not completely here either. Everyone is baffled, but she ends up recovering on her own." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryI don't actually blame her. I know that it's all my fault. I feel like figuring out how to control my time travel should be more obvious, but nothing makes sense. It seems to have little to do with how fast I'm running, or how far I go. It's random. Is it random? #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI alternate between the meeting house and the Nexus, making sure no one gets hurt. Right now, I'm climbing the ladder up to the top of the Nexus building, where the technicians have accessed the guts of the interstellar transport system, hoping to repair it. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryI know almost literally everyone on the planet on an intimate and personal level (not sexual). If you're reading this, and you don't have that kind of relationship with me, you are the one and only person. I know everyone else, and they each know me.
Story Quote"Yes, he speaks the truth, but that doesn't mean he's being honest. It's not bad that he didn't want to be here at first, or that he wants to change the government. It's that he loathes the crew. No, he hasn't said so, but Halan can see it in his eyes." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"It may be random. Truthfully, I don't know all that much about this stuff, but I've asked someone who does. And he gave me this." Slipstream holds up a pin button. // "What is it?" // "A recall device," she says. "If you travel too far, it can bring you back." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonOnly one of the techs is here. "Any progress?" // "We got the interstellar communications system back online. Yta is sending an omnidirectional signal now, just in case someone is in the area, and I'm trying to fix the antenna so we can direct it somewhere." #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”Hobbies include going up to perfect strangers, crooking and craning my neck, and looking right into their eyes. Then, in a low and growly voice, I exclaim, "A #GRIMM!"
Story Quote"The primary reason they wore the cuffs before was because someone had intel about people needing saving, and how to go about doing it. Even Anatol had served them in this capacity, in his own twisted way. Now they had no purpose. Now they only had time." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliverySlip hands me the button. "Pin it to your shirt like you would any button. See how it's on a swivel, though? If you rotate it, you've locked in what the word 'present' means. Then rotate it back, make a jump, and if you need to return, turn it upside down again." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonMany other universes use simplex dimensions for faster-than-light travel, and in most of them, the trip is rather quick. It will take less than two days to get clear across the galaxy. In this one, however, the timeframe is more like months, maybe even years. #InHockonTheFrenton
Fake ConversationMe: "Are you even playing attention!?" // My parole officer: "Yeah, sure." // Me: "Then what did I just say?" // PO: "You asked if I was paying attention." // Me: "No, I said 'playing'. That was a test, and you failed. You're fired!" // PO: "Yes, because that's how this works."
Story Quote"We have always met each other in peace, but not warmly. We are not allies, and we are not friends. Each kingdom can provide for itself, so we are not even trading partners. For the most part, we leave each other alone. But things have now changed." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"I see a flaw," my friend, Gabriel points out. "What if she makes a jump, wants to stay there, and then make that the new 'present' for a second jump?" // "The clutch basically closes the circuit. Unpinning it will erase the last 'present' point," Slip answers. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI'm not sure why simplex travel is so much slower here, but if the technicians can't fix the Nexus, waiting for a ship may be our only option. That's why they're working on communications first, as we'll need a last resort in case there is nothing they can do. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryHe watches his child, a smile on his face. The child slips in the mud, and then tastes a bit of it. The smile fades a little. The child gets back up, and runs around. The smile fades more. He checks the time, and sighs. "It's been two years. They don't grow up so fast."
Story Quote"We call it The Shudder. It is a darkness, and a coldness that is more than merely the absence of warmth. We have all been touched by it, and though it brings more harm to some than to others, we are all capable of sharing it, and we are all at risk." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"What if it accidentally comes unpinned?" Gabriel presses. // "It's okay," I assure him. "I'm fine. We need to try this." As I'm pinning the magical button to my shirt, a fiery portal opens up a few meters away. Someone who looks exactly likes me runs out of it. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonEdan goes on, "without the antenna, our signal will eventually reach Veldelcia, but it'll take awhile." // "Is that safe?" I question. "What if someone who doesn't belong to The Cluster gets the message?" // "I guess we didn't consider that. I'll turn it off." #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”Yeah, first take I-70 West for 1,047 miles. Merge onto I-15 South, and go about 400 miles. Exit at 179 for CA-58 West. Follow the signs through Bakersfield to I-5 North. Continue for 150 miles until CA-152. Keep going on that until US-101 North, and then you're pretty much there.
Story Quote"She introduced herself to me every day. She wasn’t abusive, but about as racist as my parents, so I didn’t want to spend much time over there. Still, she had a bathroom I could use too, which was nice, because I wasn’t allowed to use mine anymore." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryThe other me and I lock eyes. Smiling, she takes her own button off of her shirt, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. Then she runs off into another fiery portal. "Well, there you go," Slipstream says. "That's proof that you'll figure this out eventually." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonEdan reaches back into the access panel, and switches off the signal, but the damage is done. After two weeks, peace talks are in a pretty good place, and we all start to focus on hoping for rescue. The techs fix the antenna, but it can only send, not receive. #InHockonTheFrenton
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Could you hold this end for me? It's really heavy." // Me: "I don't know that I can, 'cause I got chocolate on my hands; I'm a cho-co-late man! I hope you understand it may not make it to your van, 'cause I got chocolate on my hands; I'm a cho-co-late man!"
Story Quote"A massive doughnut must have fallen from the sky, and left me unscathed. If there really was a big space doughnut, though, it still shouldn’t have spared me. I mean, the tremors alone should have sent me to hell with everyone else in my neighborhood." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"That version of me could be from any moment in the future," I contend. // Slipstream shrugs. "She didn't look too much older than you. Why don't we assume that you'll learn control rather soon, and work from there? If you don't stay positive, you'll go nowhere." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThey send the distress signal directly to Veldelcia, but can't tell if it worked. The fastest these people can get back to their homeworld, the better. Even though an agreement has been reached here, tensions will surely rise now they they have been missing. #InHockonTheFrenton
Random NothingHumans only ever conceive single babies. There is no such thing as a human twin, or other multiples. Anyone with multiples is a wesen, and that is their litter.
Story Quote"We actually have four ways of getting out of such a mess if it happens to you. The auto repair shop is on South Avenue, the county’s largest tow truck company is on Backbone Road, the dealership is on Krouka, and there’s a gas station on Heap Lane." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryAnd so I continue to practice my ability, always hoping that I'll become the future version of me that was confident enough to destroy her pin button safety net. I do eventually learn how to go back in time on my own, but I always need to the button to get back. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThe Nexus can be fixed, but only with an industrial synthesizer or a factory to manufacture replacement parts. It all begins to look up when a shuttle drops down to the planet, but our excitement quickly disappears when the natives realize it is not Cluster. #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”My CompStat numbers are down. Or up. Depending on which one is good. Or bad. I'm not picky. Ya know what, you choose.
Story Quote"Omega nods, but still isn’t convinced that they should be focusing on this. Yes, the extremist group hiding in their midst is a greater threat, but they don’t know where to begin. At least the anti-crew movement has a face. And a punchable one, at that." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryEvery time I try and fail, I grow more frustrated and impatient with myself. Slipstream and Gabriel try to keep me calm, but I grow impatient with them as well. In a fit of rage, I throw my hands down, scream, and take one forceful step forward, opening a portal. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonMost people in the galaxy are human, or related species, and I won't get into why that is, but there are some non-humans. Some worlds are part of an interstellar collective known as The Cluster, but some aren't. These people are aliens, and not in the Cluster. #InHockonTheFrenton
Unpopular OpinionDo a Playboy-Playgirl joint issue, you cowards!
Story Quote"What the others hadn’t noticed was that Leona had quickly inspected the transporter gun after Mateo set it down on the table in front of her. A dial specified a year. She grabbed it, spun it to a random new destination, and shot Milford in the forehead." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryI don't know where or when the portal is going, but I can't stop myself from slipping into it. Just like before—before we were friends—Gabriel instinctively follows me through. Slipstream either doesn't make it, or doesn't try. On the other side, I slip and fall. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI also won't discuss why it is that most human aliens speak English, but non-human species don't unless they're taught, which is what has presumably happened here. They use it to order us into cells, then slam the gates shut behind us. We are all in hock now. #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”I just visited a reality where it's no movie, there's no @MekhiPhifer, but I came back because this is my life and these times are so hard.
Story Quote"From start to finish, the transformation takes weeks. At times it’s painful, at times it’s uncomfortable. Once it’s complete, however, patients report feeling better than they ever have in their entire lives. Some wish it to never end, but it does." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryThe portal has opened up on the side of a hill. I try to catch myself on a tree, but I miss it. The bush I try next is wet, so I lose that too. I hit the ground hard, and begin to roll down. Before I can crash into the rocks below, I catch myself on some vines. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonUnlike last time, no one on this ship is going to help us break out of hock. Once they have us secured, the mysterious aliens leave two to guard us, then prepare to make the jump back into space. Pretty soon, the astral collimator has us en route to wherever. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryIf I could go back in time, I would just post a selfie with an N95 mask in the fall of 2019, and warn people that the #coronavirus was coming. They'd be all, "what the hell are you even going on about?" But then several months later…whoa. #covid19
Story Quote"Even though I am pro-choice, I don’t want anyone to have an abortion. Before focusing on this issue, I regularly went out and informed women about their options. Abortion is not the only way, and we should be working on ways to make it unnecessary." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryI hear Gabriel tumbling down the hill as well. I reach out, hoping to find his hand. I'm surprisingly successful. I grab him just before he can fall off the edge. Together, we climb to safety. As we're catching our breaths, he notices that my button is missing. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"Who are these people?" Cricket asks. // It takes me a moment to realize that everyone is looking at me, and not one of this universe's natives. "Oh, me? Oh, I have no idea." // "You seem to know a lot," Baladt points out. // "Yes, but not everything," I say. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryIf there's one thing I've learned since I've been here, it's that sometimes you're the flyswatter…and sometimes you're the fly. And sometimes you're a giant acorn monster. This is virtual reality, bud. You can be whatever you want. It's point-oh-oh-two bitcoin for the acorn mod.
Story Quote"Scarcity was a component of man’s inability to reach beyond the atmosphere at the time, and that is no longer the case. Still, what are they going to do with all this gold? Sure, some of it can go to those devices, but there will be a lot left over." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryWe look on the ground for my button, but it's nowhere to be found. It fell somewhere on the side of the hill, and it may even have fallen over the edge. There is no way we're going to find it. We're stuck unless I can finally figure out how to control my power. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI go on, "I don't know who they are, or what they want. They're not Cluster. It's unclear if they've even been introduced to the rest of the galaxy. I say we stay calm, and see what happens. It's probably just a huge misunderstanding. Let's not make enemies." #InHockonTheFrenton
Fake ConversationJohn State: "Yo, Fisherman, what's up? It's been awhile." // Me: "Yeah, man. I heard you went on a vacation. When did you get back, State, from Jake Farm?"
Story Quote"You will be able to step through a virtual recreation of any area that you have placed under surveillance. Install enough cameras—cover all potential blindspots—and you'll feel like a ghost, walking through the hallways and rooms unseen…and unheard." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryEven if I could find the button, it would only help me create a new present. Now that it's been undone, the original point of departure has been erased. Either way, I don't think I should try again until I rest, and get something to eat. Maybe that's my problem. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThey've not yet hurt us, and perhaps their culture values efficiency and urgency over politeness. They may be thinking they're rescuing us, so we shouldn't fight against them until we know that we're in trouble. We all doubt we could break out of here anyway. #InHockonTheFrenton
Random Nothing#HalloweenKills. That's what he does! He doesn't save the bad guys!
Story Quote"There was just no spark. His heart didn’t beat faster upon approach. He did not dream about spending the rest of their lives together. Many women would have been a fine choice, but none of them would have been perfect, and this saddened him greatly." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryI pad my pants. "I seem to have lost my phone too. Does your GPS work?" // He checks. "Battery dying, but it can't connect to a network. We are, honestly, probably in a pre-satellite era. The question is how far back did we go?" // I sigh. "Let's start walking." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonWhile the ship goes on its way, we sit on the benches to await further instruction. Sometime later, Cricket perks up, and looks around like a meerkat. He taps the air with his finger. "Are we missing someone?" // "No, there are eleven of us here," Claire says. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryScrew you, Paco! I don't wanna hear from you ever again! No, this is not a subtweet. Paco knows who he is, and he knows what he did. I won't tolerate it any longer. It doesn't matter if you apologize now. I want you to be able to die without me ever hearing about it before I die.
Story Quote"She doesn’t mention this, but there’s also a probe, which houses a repository of knowledge from both vonearthan and Ansutahan legacies, should all life ultimately be extinguished, so maybe aliens a million years from now can learn about who they were." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryWe don't get very far before it becomes clear how far back we've gone. I mean, we don't know the exact year, but when you're trapped in dinosaur times, precision doesn't really matter, does it? We're surprised to find out, though, we're not the only humans here. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"Yes, there are indeed eleven of us," Cricket agrees, "but who is that guy?" // Apparently realizing that Cricket's referring to him, a stranger who's been sleeping on the bench with his back to the rest of us sits up. "I'm Frenton." I thought it was Faregrim. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryI have to keep all of my receipts, so my sugar daddy can pay for everything. He doesn't want to give me a copy of his credit card. Plus, he doesn't exist, so he would probably have a hard time letting me use his card anyway. I'm not hallucinating—YOU'RE hallucinating.
Story Quote"There was already confusion when it came to their pattern and relativistic speeds. Technically, even without the reframe engine, each jump should last about two minutes from their perspective. But that wasn't how it worked. They still didn't know why." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryA man is casually cutting into some kind of fruit while an injured younger man is lying on the ground, apparently unconscious. "Oh, hey." // "Did you hurt him?" Gabriel asks. // "No, he's my son. I'm waiting for him to wake up. Hi, my name is Mario. Mario Matic." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"How did you get here, Frenton?" Baladt questions, like this is an interrogation. // "I was here when you came in. I did not realize you were missing someone, or that you thought I was him. I did not mean to cause any confusion." // "It's okay," Cricket says. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryI'm legally changing my name next week, so I just need to practice using it. Hi, I'm Peter Gibberish. What up, it's Peter Gibberish, don't forget to like and subscribe! Yo, you got Peter Gibberish, what it do? Gibberish…Peter Gibberish. Peter Gibberish out! Okay, it's locked in.
Story Quote"He communed with the big gray floppy-eared creatures. He stood with the pink water-loving sky creatures. He always failed. Some of the animals moved away from him when he approached, while others just ignored him, but they all knew he didn’t belong." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"Hello, Mario," I say. "I'm Kalisha. This is Gabriel. You wouldn't happen to be able to take us back to the future, would you?" // "I'm afraid not," Mario replies. "I'm salmon." // "What does that mean?" Gabriel asks. // "You must be new. Salmon have no control." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"So we left Faregrim on the planet?" Baladt asks, worried. // "It's too early to tell…whether he's the lucky one, or us," Claire argues. // "True," Baladt admits. // "Frenton, who are these people? Why did they lock you up? What do they want from us?" I ask. #InHockonTheFrenton
Fake ConversationMe: "Hey, man. What are you in for?" // Cellmate: "I don't like cheese." // Me: [banging on the bars] "Guard! Guard! Get me out of here! This guy's a maniac! Let me out! You can't leave me in here with him! Please! I'll do anything!"
Story Quote"Now I know why they call it the Phornax. It's a pun. I've seen this movie before, though. They don't come back right. If I'm not careful, I could spend the next eighty minutes running for my life from evil zombies—except we don't call them zombies." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryGabriel points to me. "She doesn't have any control over her powers." // "That doesn't mean she's salmon," Mario begins to clarify. "You might one day learn control. People like me never will. A group of people known as the powers that be makes decisions for us." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"I don't know what they want from you," Frenton begins, "but from me, they wanted this ship." // "This is yours?" I ask, intrigued. // "Of course. Man, did they paint over the side?" // "What do you mean?" // "It's called The Frenton. I named it after myself." #InHockonTheFrenton
Dumb Ditty🎶When you see my face // I'll ask if you're well, I'll ask if you're well. //When you walk my way, hope you're feeling well, hope you're doing well. // If you find a man who thinks he's grand, he best treat you well. // He's a fool if not, he'll probably go to hell.🎶
Story Quote"Each of us is always there, always awake. We experience the same things, and move in harmony, but we possess independent thoughts. We can't even communicate telepathically. For one to know what the other is thinking, she has to vocalize her thoughts." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"Bottom line, you can't help us," Gabriel determines. // "Yeah, sorry," Mario says. "If the PTB don't want me to help you, I can't." // "What about your son?" Gabriel presses, pointing down at the unconscious man. // "He's salmon too. Less in control than I am." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI try to give people a look, but I appear to be the only one who thinks that it's strange to name a spaceship directly after one's self. Whatever, and anyway, it's fine. It's good, actually. He might be able to help us. Perhaps the cells open from the inside. #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryI paused the TV to watch a YouTube video on my laptop, then paused that to go to the bathroom, then paused midstream to watch a quick Twitter video, but didn't finish before needing a nap in the bathtub. I woke up ten hours later…two hours late for work. My life is goin' great.
Story Quote"Feeling around was taking too long, so Jana had to be bolder. By the end of this, she was going to have a lot of bruises, but she would live. Every second she waited would make it that much harder for the doctors to fix her eyes. She began to run." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"Let's go," Gabriel says, wrapping his arm around me protectively. "Let's get some food, and get you back to practicing." // "Food, I got," Mario says. "Let me give you some supplies, and tell you where you can go that's safe. There aren't many places like this." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"If this is your ship," Claire begins before I can prove that I came up with the idea first, "do you know of a way out of here? Maybe you hid a key under the bench?" // Frenton laughs. "If I could get out of here, I would have by now. There's nowhere to go." #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostorySon, the shower recycler can't filter urine, but it can detect it, and when it does, instead of returning it to the system, it just flushes it away. Every time you pee in the shower, it costs us money on our water bill. Pee in the toilet, so it can fertilize the vegetable garden.
Story Quote"I simply cannot let the trail go cold, and I can’t rely on the sheriff to do his due diligence. He’s going to rule it an accident, and not even look at the damn facts. She’s dead, and the dad’s gone. They need to investigate, or even call in the FBI." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryMario gives us some food, and then teaches us how to avoid the dinosaurs who roam these lands. I wanna stay, but this is all my fault, so from now on, I kind of have to let Gabriel make all the decisions. It's not too long before we run across yet another human. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"Well, I dunno," Claire continues. "Maybe you didn't think you could hold your own against the aliens all by yourself. Now you have ten other people to help you." // "It doesn't matter," Frenton disputes. "There are a lot more of them than you probably saw." #InHockonTheFrenton
Random NothingI hugged an elephant so hard once, I accidentally broke his neck. There is no joke here. It is just my greatest shame. I felt like you should know.
Story Quote"Captain Yenant proceeds to the observation room while the two travelers close the hatch, and prepare for launch. Not a minute later, the time shuttle, which they have chosen to call The Suárez, disappears. As warned, it does not return a second later." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryWe don't actually run into the other human. Before we can approach him, a woman comes out of nowhere, running away from a dinosaur roaring in the distance. When she notices the man, standing still, they begin to argue with each other, which ends with his death. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThe door opens, and one of the aliens steps through alone. "Our number is irrelevant," he says. "One of us could take out the eleven of you, and eleven more, if need be." // "If you're so powerful, why do you need us?" I ask him, hoping it makes me look brave. #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”What a surprise, another racist website! There's never a checkbox on the login page that lets me tell it that I AM a robot. Typical carbon privilege.
Story Quote"Kivi suddenly crashed into both of them. She had her own injector, which she jammed into Mateo’s neck. He reawoke, and instinctively began to suck down the air on his own. By now, Ramses was back, and there was enough air circulating for him to speak." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryFreaked out, the woman runs off to avoid meeting the same fate as the guy. She disappears before the dinosaur can even try to go for her again. But it does see us. Thinking that anywhere is better than here, I grab Gabriel, and run. I run until it opens a portal. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonI've seen a lot of macho people in my day. Swole jerks who think that their physical strength entitles them to treat others like crap. This alien isn't acting like that at all. He's almost…maybe a little embarrassed about how strong he is compared to humans? #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”Raise your hand if you graduated magna cum laude. Okay, great. Now, keep your hands up if you think I give a flailing fuck.
Story Quote"They sometimes saw that as an opportunity, because even though janitorial services weren’t technically in either of their job descriptions, they could still get paid for cleaning the facilities. The word diaper was thrown around once or twice too." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryMy heart is racing as we exit the fire portal, from the dinosaur, and because I don't know where we've ended up. I'm pleasantly surprised to find a smiling Slipstream. "How long have we been gone?" I ask. // She checks her watch. "Let's see, about…five seconds." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"We need you to be hostages," the alien explains, "for a prisoner exchange." Some of our people have been taken by yours." // "Veldelcians?" the Ambassador questions. // "I don't know what that is. They were human." // "Not all humans are from the same world." #InHockonTheFrenton
Random NothingOh, I just found out; Nightshift Guy and Creepy Dude are the same guy, dude. What does this mean? Is it a reference to something? Is it a subtweet for someone I know in real life. I don't get why this would be funny. I'm not even sure I even did write it. Sometimes it's elves.
Story Quote"After a few hours, we’re on the beach. I did it. I can’t believe I actually did it. Now she can go off to where she belongs. She doesn’t move, though. She just sits there, staring at the water like she’s enjoying the beautiful view as much as I am." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"You did it!" Gabriel exclaims. // "Not really," I argue. "I wasn't TRYING to get back. I was trying to not get eaten." // "If you count it as a win," Slipstream says, "it will become a step in your training. If you count it as a loss, you'll never move forward." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThe alien considers whether the ambassador is telling the truth. "Hm. Are you certain of this?" // "Quite," Frenton agrees. "The ten of them are not from the same world as I." // "Surely you originate from one world long ago." // "It's complicated," I pipe up. #InHockonTheFrenton
Fake ConversationParole officer: "Why are you wearing that mask?" // Me: "What year is it again?" // Parole officer: "It's 2017. Has been for ten months." // Me: "Oh. Well, I'll just leave it on. I'll be needing it in a few years anyway." // Parole officer: "Why?" // Me: "Don't think about it."
Story Quote"Mother always says to pack twice as much as I think I’ll need. Father always said I’ll only ever need half, so don’t suffer the weight. I always split the difference, and go with my gut. Now my gut has turned against me, screaming across the abyss." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"It looks like you changed the future," Slipstream points out. // "How do you know?" I question. // "Your button, it's gone," she says. "The other you still had hers, and stomped on it right over there. It would appear that her appearance altered the timeline." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"It's not important why there are so many humans on so many planets," I say, not wanting to get into a thing about how the bulkverse works. "The point is we're not good hostages. Whoever took your people; they don't care about us. You'll accomplish nothing." #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give a man a bunch of fertilized fish eggs, and he'll prolly figure it out.
Story Quote"I've never liked following rules, or limiting myself to where people think I should be. I know that the other side of the river is safe. If I can just get over there, and come back, that will prove it to everyone else. I just have to figure out how." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus Delivery"Is that good or bad?" Gabriel asks. // "Who knows?" Slipstream answers with a shrug. "This is the timeline we're in now. Kalisha, you have more training, but now we know you can do it. You'll soon become our best and fastest courier. I'm so proud and grateful." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonThe alien continues to think on it. "I'm not the captain. I'm in charge of making sure you don't kill yourselves on the way. I couldn't let you go, even if I wanted to. We'll just have to try the exchange, and hope they don't realize you're different humans." #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”I have a lot of dreams about being really popular, making a lot of money, and being with a different beautiful woman every night. What do you think that means?
Story Quote"I looked around us, and saw plenty of trees, but none close enough, and none that stood out. He laughed, like it was a prank, but he quickly returned to his serious but calm look. He gestured towards the ground, and told me that it once stood here." #constellations #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryAll smiles, Slipstream reaches into her bag, and takes out a little box to hand to me. "Your first assignment is to get this to a client named Duke Andrews. He knows more about time travel than I do, so it will be a good test. Are you up for it?" // "I hope so." #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The FrentonWhen a ship comes out of a simplex dimension, it doesn't pop out like hyperspace in the movies. It rolls out, and slides to cruising speed. Most people can actually feel their bodies doing the same, even with inertial negators. I suddenly feel it. We're here. #InHockonTheFrenton
“Joke”Tomorrow, I'll be dressing up as a Sexy @BritneySpears.
Story Quote"Here they lived for more than two decades, propelling the entire asteroid as needed to study different parts of the anomaly, trying to figure out where exactly all this gravity was coming from. By the time they did, they had themselves a full-grown son." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Tractus DeliveryI carefully set the box inside the company-provided satchel, as if this alone will protect it from damage. I take a deep breath, and consult the map for the address. It's across State Line, and in the heart of the city. When I'm ready, I run into a fire portal. #TractusDelivery
In Hock on The Frenton"I didn't think it would be this soon," I note. // "My ship is uhh…rather fast." // "You must have astral snappers." // He's shocked that I know that those are a thing. // "Come on," the alien orders us. "I'll escort you to the shuttle bay. No sudden moves." #InHockonTheFrenton
NanostoryMy dad took me trick-or-treating when I was four. We came to a house with one of those giant plush spiders. Knowing I was arachnophobic, he destroyed it with a pocket knife, all the while acting like he was a brave knight. He paid for the damage, and the homeowners weren't upset.
Story Quote"They stared, not knowing what to say. She certainly wasn’t the first self-aware AI, or even the first one to become that way on its own due to its relationship with people. They were just worried, because it seemed so sudden. What were her intentions?" #salmonverse #fishquotes

November 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
Return of DaltonI've never had much of a normal life. I've experienced fragments of multiple lives. Some were my own, and some were others. I even died once. The man who killed me met me on the other side, and forced me to help him resurrect. He then let me go along for the ride. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesI'm on a spaceship. It belongs to a human, but a group of aliens stole it from him out of desperation, and placed him in the same hock where I and my new friends would end up. We're all from different walks of life, but we have one thing in common. We are all now #HumanHostages.
Random Nothing2015 called, they too said, "new phone, who dis?"
Story Quote"With it came powerful gusts of wind, which drove the onlookers back. A few persisted to show support for the elf who took the brunt of the flames, but most gave in. Chris and Clay were one of the steadfast. Even the rain felt like it was at a boil." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonWe got separated when he underestimated how many people knew how bad of a person he was, but they let me go free, and now I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself. I was supposed to come back with time powers, but I don't know what kind. Not yet, anyway. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe alien who was assigned to us seems like a pretty reasonable guy, so I think he'll advocate for us if things get out of hand, but until it's time to make some big move, we have to play along, and let them try to bargain our lives for the return of their people. #HumanHostages
“Joke”Vanilla Ice is now 54 years old. The Ice Ice Baby he was singing about in his song is probably an Ice Ice Lady by now.
Story Quote"They don’t think I deserve to share in the food we would catch together. They don’t think I can contribute, and that’s not fair. They have no idea what I have to offer. I’ve decided to give up, and focus on being the best version of my lonesome self." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI ran into a lot of time travelers during the course of my many lives. Most of them didn't know who it was they were talking to. I would even encounter the same person in two different bodies without telling them that we had already met. I know who to contact now. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesHe leads us out of hock, down the ship corridors, and out of the exit. It surprises me that we're not bound, but even though many of us just met recently, I don't think any of us would run, because not all would make it. How would we even get off this alien planet? #HumanHostages
“Joke”Me (God): "For the crime of being a fly, you will spend eternity here in Bug Hell trapped in a web, repeatedly having your guts sucked out by a spider. And for the crime of being a spider, that spider will receive no sustenance from your guts. I have spoken."
Story Quote"I would rather be a rabbit. Pikas are often not taken seriously, because they look so young, but at least they're healthy. Hares, like me now, apparently, are riddled with general aging problems, which can't really be treated. We suffer for eternity." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonThere's a place deep underground called The Constant. It's been there for billions of years, and I'm sure it'll still be there billions of years from now. The Concierge is the only person I know I can trust to be where she has always been. I make my way to Kansas. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesEverybody is already in position. A gauntlet of quite armed aliens is in position for us to walk through, while a gauntlet of humans on the other side of a ravine keeps their own weapons trained on the alien hostages. The negotiations are presumably about to being. #HumanHostages
Random NothingI have the power to steal other people's powers. Unfortch, no one else has any superpowers, so effectively, neither do I.
Story Quote"Every city has its own local programming. They only put you on the national circuit if they think you’re gonna go far, or if they want the attention you’ll receive to make things even more stressful for you. For me, I’m sure it’s the latter reason." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonIt would be nice if I could teleport, but if I've ended up with that power, it's not something I can figure out by trying it on my own. Still, this is the year 2400, so transportation doesn't take too long, and they don't worry about the fact that I don't have ID. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesIt's like some performance art piece, us all getting to our marks, and waiting to begin. Cricket and Claire make sure they're next to me. They've not known me much longer than we've known the other people in our group, but it does feel like us against the galaxy. #HumanHostages
Random NothingI haven't farted in the last few years. I'm thinking about getting back into it. What do you guys think? Is it as fun as it was in the good ol' days?
Story Quote"The one who wins is the one you feed. I don’t feed any of my wolves. I guess I’ve always considered that their problem. None of them has died yet, I’ll tell you that much, but honestly, the wolf of contentment hasn’t been looking too good these days." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI make it to where Lebanon, Kansas once stood. All of the familiar landmarks are gone, except the old chapel that sits right on top of The Constant. There's no elevator, and I suppose there never was. I think that was just a front for this shortrange teleporter. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe Captain who commandeered The Frenton steps forward, as does the human leader. "Hear me now, humans! We live by a maxim, which says, 'when one starts a war, the other will likely end it.' You may have had the element of surprise, but now we have the advantage!" #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationLijbesdl: "Thanks for coming to our Alien-Human Monthly Mixer! Hope to see you next month! Until then, teta!" // Me: "Honey, have you said that to all the guests as they leave?" // Lijbesdl: "Yes, why?" // Me: "Remind me to teach you more human languages."
Story Quote"Thatch looks genuinely offended by the accusation. 'One day, Captain.' He stands up, and downs the rest of his drink. 'One day you’ll see that you can trust me. And that will be the day that I died.' He then walks out of the office, and into his cabin." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"I press the only button, and land however far down into the earth it is. Danica Matic is there, but the place looks wildly different. Cardboard boxes and plastic tubs are all over the place. It looks like someone is moving in…or maybe moving out. "Hey, Dalton." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe Captain continues, "we have twice as many…guests in our custody as you. All you have to do is send our five down into the ravine. We'll send five of your people, and the last thing we do before our ship takes off is leave the other six behind on the ground." #HumanHostages
Reality CheckIf you send me an email or a text message, you can't ask too many questions, because I'm only gonna answer the last one.
Story Quote"He reached behind it, and they could hear beeping noises. Then he physically separated the pod from its place, which revealed a second pod in a recess in the wall. It wasn’t a base model, but a unique individual. He flipped a switch from red to green." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"What's happening?" I ask. // "It's over, we're packin' up." // "We?" I question. // "The royal 'we'," she clarifies. // "It can't be over. That doesn't make any sense." // "Everything ends, Dalton," Danica replies. "Time travelers don't need it anymore, or me." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe human leader steps closer to the edge of the ravine, careful to not slip over. He's inspecting us, possibly trying to spot our identities, which he will not be able to discern, because none of us is from his planet. // "Don't make a sound," our handler warns. #HumanHostages
“Joke”I call my dog buca di puppo, named after my seventy-fifth favorite restaurant.
Story Quote"Real life has become trendy. People can read your posts if they want to, and on their own time. Many are using real identities now, because for most, it’s the closest we’ll get to fame, and we don’t want to hide ourselves under a layer of anonymity." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"But…it's constant." // She giggles. "It was. What can I do for you?" // I died and returned with new time powers, but don't know what they are. I don't need them, by the way, but I don't want them to activate at an inopportune time. Know anyone who could help?" #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"Five of your people returned to you for seven of ours returned to us," the human counters. "It's uneven, but we allowed you to pick the planet, so we've already made concessions." // The aliens confer. It's barely audible to me, but I do catch the word 'weapons'. #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationMedical Examiner: "Hey! What happened here? It's supposed to be a y-incision! This looks more like a b-incision, or something!" // Trainee: "Oh, sorry, I didn't know, I can't read." // Medical Examiner: "Excuse me?"
Story Quote"It's a harp, I think, or some other kind of musical instrument anyway. I suppose I shouldn't guess, since I'm not a doctor. Of course, I impulsively strum it. It sounds beautiful, even though I have no idea how to play. I can't mess up on this thing." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonDanica breathes deeply through her nose. "Most of the diagnosticians lived on Durus. There is one I know of who was on Earth, but I can't remember when." She glanced around the room half-heartedly. "I'm afraid I'm not sure where my timepath book is at the moment." #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"They're planning something bad," I whisper to Claire and Cricket. // "No," Claire contends. "It's quite the opposite. They're worried that the Erhalkend are going to attack them. Both sides agreed to no weapons, but they don't think these people can be trusted." #HumanHostages
Dumb Ditty🎵Hey, @SoulCycle! // Ain't that Michael Michael in your studio, in Tokyo? // The way you pedal ain't fair, I'm slow. // Hey, #SoulCycle. // I don't wanna ride another damn mile tonight!🎵 And then the next part is a bunch of heys, just like the original.
Story Quote"I begin to fit legs under leaves, and connect them all together. It goes quite fast, and I don’t need any more breaks. I suppose what I went through to get here has made me so strong that I feel invincible. Perhaps it’s a taste of my ultimate reward." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"I can't time travel, at least I don't think I can," I say. "If this individual doesn't exist in 2400, I would need help getting to them anyway." // "I'll tell you what," Danica begins, "if you help me move the rest of this stuff, then I will find you some help." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe aliens—whose name I wish I had learned—are evidently taking too long to discuss it. The human hostage-takers on the other side of the ravine become restless, and begin to talk as well, and tension rises in the forest. I'm worried something is about to go down. #HumanHostages
“Joke”I too found a dead body in the forest, but I didn't film it, and post it on @YouTube, like you-know-who. I did the right thing, and just walked away without telling anyone about it.
Story Quote"She asks me to leave, and I realize it’s because I’m a man, and she doesn’t need that kind of energy right now. I assure her it is, and she did the right thing. She says she wasn’t even going to tell anybody, because she isn’t certain it’s illegal." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonObviously I would have helped her without anything in return since I'm a decent human being. Most everything has already been packed up, so most of the work is about carrying them to a special transportation room. I realize that I don't know where it's all going. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesI'm not a mediator, or a problem-solver. I mostly stick to myself, and only help when someone asks me for it, or when it's obvious they need it. Still, I'm compelled to step forward, and do SOMETHING. Before I can, though, Cricket does so first. He begins to sing. #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationMe: "I've been watching You." // Girl I have a crush on: "Excuse me? You're my stalker?" // Me: "What? No. You have a stalker? Oh my God, no. The show on @netflix. I've been catching up." // Girl: "Oh, right. Yeah, I love You." // Me: "That's all I needed to hear." #YouNetflix
Story Quote"Even with those heroes, the kids at my new high school were generally about as mean to each other as they are anywhere. Some of them teased me anyway, because my name was still Monoceros, but a lot of them thought it sounded badass, so it evened out." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"Most of it's being donated," Danica answers. "I have tons of supplies that a lot of people could really use all throughout time: food, clothing, tools, etcetera. Some will be going to The Historian and The Collector. And then there's the stuff in this room here." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesI already knew that Cricket was a beautiful singer. It's what drew me to her in the first place. But when we met, she was singing to herself, and enjoying the day. Now she has an audience. Now she's trying to get people's attention. It's working. Everybody freezes. #HumanHostages
“Joke”People always ask me what human meat tastes like, and I have no idea why. It is such an absurd question to ask me. I don't eat anything except for human meat, so I have nothing to compare it to. There's no frame of reference.
Story Quote"In all probability, Halan is willing to bet she’s just playing Quantum Colony. The whole population is addicted. He’s considering starting a support group for the few who don’t play, but have to overhear the conversations about it all the fuckin’ time." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of DaltonShe goes on, "this is for the estate sale. Of course, it's not really a sale, since money doesn't exist anymore, and never did here. Time travelers can come and 'shop' for things too advanced for early in the timeline, and too abundant for later in the timeline." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesNo one knows what Cricket thinks she's accomplishing with her song, but she's probably just trying to distract everyone, and calm them down. No one's going to start holding hands after this, but starting a war might feel a little ridiculous after the experience. #HumanHostages
NanostoryI hate pizza. Discuss.
Story Quote"It was the office of a nonbinary coordinator named Kennedy Avantan. Kivi knocked, and then whispered that she ought to do the talking. Kennedy opened it, and displayed no reaction to their arrival, because they looked like a set of identical septuplets." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"You can have first pick," Danica says, "since you helped me." // "No, you don't have to do that," I assure her. // "It doesn't matter to me. There's some cool stuff here, but none of it is magical. You're not gonna take anything that someone else deserves more." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesOnce Cricket's song is over, I start to worry that it was but a temporary respite. Everyone is about to go back to wanting to kill each other. But then Cricket takes a breath, and says, "oshwrlé" to the crowd. Everyone falls asleep. // "You're a witch?" I ask him. #HumanHostages
“Joke”If you take a diamond into outer space, because of the extremely low pressure, it will turn back into coal. Which is weird, because you can't make diamonds out of coal.
Story Quote"I don't know how he found me. I don't even know what he wants with me, or how he knows me. But I know it's the same man, and I know I can't just run away. I won't let him hurt me again, though. I'm going to fight back. I'm going to fight back hard." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"Okay," I say, intrigued. I step into the other room, and start to take a look around. Danica has already placed a few objects on display, but others are just in randomized piles. I feel compelled to organize them for her. That's when a fancy cane catches my eye. #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"We don't use that term," Cricket says, "but if you want to call me a witch, that's fine." // Only Claire and I have been left standing. Everyone else, even the aliens, are completely unconscious. "Witches are real? How did you do that? Is it magic?" Claire asks. #HumanHostages
“Joke”I just heard about this #PacificCoastTrail thing. Apparently you can walk all the way from Mexico to Canada? That sounds like fun, I'm headed there now to do it. I'll be back in a few weeks. #PCT
Story Quote"A lot of foods don’t require any cooking, but they all require storage, unless you want to go to the store every day. Some people do that, but it’s not very efficient, and that lifestyle isn’t marketable. There was a solution, and she could find it." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"Oh, that actually IS magical," Danica corrects herself when she sees me admiring the cane. // The wood is beautifully shaped, and it's topped with what happens to be the largest diamond I have ever seen in my life, and I'm including pictures. "What does it do?" #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"Magic doesn't exist," Cricket answers. "There are some physical laws that not everyone knows about, but which some of us can exploit. We don't use it for much, but I just felt like, if I didn't do something, everyone would end up dead. The song didn't work, soo…" #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationMe: "Will you marry me? I got you this ring, it cost me $90,000, which is three years salary." // Her: "It's supposed to be three months, not years." // Me: "That's only, like, $600." // Her: "Then how is three years $90,000?!" // Me: "I get an $83,000 bonus every three years."
Story Quote"They’ve had to help me out of so many jams, I can’t count. I’ve been driven to crime on numerous occasions, but have rarely suffered consequences. I’m reckless and stupid, but I’ve always had the best medical care in the world, and I get it for free." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"It's the Cassano Cane," Danica answers. "I don't have a great grasp of how it works, but it can somehow…channel temporal energy from old realities? I think you can give people powers, or exile them to the past. I don't really know, but it's something like that." #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"I think you made the right call," I say. "But what are we gonna do now? They're going to wake up eventually." // "Let's just fix it," Claire figures. "Carry the aliens to the ship, the humans to their own ship, and then we'll decide where the three of us fit in." #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Why do you think people believe in crystals?" // Me: "Because they took antibiotics, and used healing crystals, then the infection improved, and they couldn't tell which one worked, but they think saying it was healing crystals makes them more interesting."
Story Quote"You need a blue Malayan coral snake? I got you covered. What about a South American bushmaster? You know I got you. Anything, anywhere, anytime, I’m your girl. You can’t call it dangerous when I’m around. I have not met a snake that I cannot handle." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI'm staring at the cane, and its diamond. "I should not want this." // "Don't feel bad about wanting nice things," Danica contradicts. // "It's gotta be worth…" // "Only what it's worth to you. Diamonds are just crystalized carbon, and not as rare as you think." #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"That is not the aliens' ship, remember?" I say. "The Frenton belongs to this guy right here." I gently kick Frenton's boots with my own. // "Well, we can put the Erhalkend where they belong," Cricket decides. "And the Veldelcians will come with us on The Frenton." #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationDaughter: "Why do seagulls fly over the sea?" // Me: *sigh* "I don't know, why?" // Daughter: "Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be BAY-gles!" // Me: "No, they wouldn't. They'd still be seagulls, you idiot! I'm unadopting you."
Story Quote"As a planetscaper—as we’re called—my reward will be my own home on the colony, free of charge, and a steady income for the rest of my life. It won’t be glamorous, but I can find a new job if I want to, and upgrade later. I’m not sure about that yet." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI set the cane off to the side so I can continue helping Danica load the last remaining items in the transport room. Apparently, each container is tagged with a spacetime destination. A single activation of the entire room sends each one to its rightful new home. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesHe goes on, "the aliens will be on the Frenton too, but in hock, where we once were. When they awaken, we can ask how to get to their home world. We'll transport them there, and then decide what's next for us. Surely Frenton will want his ship back all to himself." #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationDetective 1: "We got him, the son of a bitch." // Detective 2: "I don't believe it. It was too easy." // Detective 1: "What makes you say that?" // Detective 2: "We caught him in the first act. Some kind of twist must be coming after the commercial break." // Detective 1: "What?"
Story Quote"The Consigliere knows what Ovan means by that, and he’s quite plainly not happy about it. Again, it’s not a real law, but there’s an unwritten rule that you do not ask to be considered for his replacement. It’s considered bad form, but Ovan’s desperate." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of DaltonWe walk through the rest of the underground complex, making sure that everything's been cleared out. This place is much larger than I ever knew. I guess each visitor only sees a fraction of it. Not everyone needs the sauna, or the…300 hectare botanical gardens? #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"I don't know about that." Frenton struggles to wake up and stand up. "It was kind of nice having more people on board again." // "How are you awake right now?" Cricket questions. "Is it happening to anyone else?" We look around, but it seems to be fine…for now. #HumanHostages
NanostoryYeah, I'm sure it IS bigger than mine, but that sounded like he was pouring from a beer pitcher. I think he should go to a doctor, or maybe do it more often than once a day? Gravity couldn't keep up with him, it spilled all over the floor, I don't think that's normal.
Story Quote"He was mad, but not in an 'I’m going to kill you' kind of way; just a 'we’ll talk about your punishment after dinner. Wash your hands first' kind of way. He seemed relieved that the talk would go faster now that he didn’t have to dance around the truth." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of DaltonWe're not too worried about Danica having left anything important in the gardens, so we're mostly just strolling through. Neither of us has anywhere to be. It's then that my new cane begins to vibrate. It seems to be trying to lead me in a particular direction. #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"I was sound asleep," Frenton begins to explain, "having the best dream I've ever had in my life, when I literally felt someone kick me awake." // "That should not have been enough," Cricket says, suspicious. // Claire steps over and gently kicks Baladt's boots. #HumanHostages
NanostoryThe answer, my friend, is not blowin' in the wind. The answer's not blowin' in the wind. There are no shortcuts to solving your problems. It's going to take hard work, and for a lot of people to come together, and find a way to agree on something.
Story Quote"In order to bring someone back to life, Pavo had to first learn about who they were before they died. Once he had all of this information, he had to spend all nine months with the new mother, visiting and caring for her during the entire pregnancy." #constellations #fishquotes
SalmonverserialDanica shrugs. "We should follow it. I can't leave without knowing if there's something I missed, or if something will interfere with the shutdown process." // Shutdown process? What is that? I don't ask her, though. I lead her down the path as the cane leads me. #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesNothing happens, so Claire kicks Baladt's boots a little harder, and then a little harder. // "That's enough," I say. // But she bends down, and tries to shake him awake. // I get down there myself. "Let go of him." My finger touches his shoulder, and he awakens. #HumanHostages
“Joke”Erin, go braless is another one of those jokes I made up that someone else technically came up with first, but I'm still demanding credit for it, because I didn't know that, and I'm more important than whoever that was.
Story Quote"I finally fixed the ship. Well, I didn’t so much as fix it as I took it apart, and built a brand new ship from the wreckage. It’s much smaller than the one we took to get here, but since it only needs to accommodate me, that shouldn’t be a problem." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonAs we draw nearer, the cane vibrates more, and then we hear rustling in the bushes. I hold the cane up as a possible weapon, hoping to not have to use it. Danica seems unconcerned. We round the corner, and come face to face with my literal mortal enemy, Zeferino. #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"What happened?" Baladt asks. // "It's you," Cricket says to me. "You can wake people up from the oshwrlé slumber." // "That doesn't make any sense," I reply, "I have a character who can do that, but…I'm obviously not him." // "Does this matter?" Claire questions. #HumanHostages
Bad PoetrySince they're so popular, I decided to write a haiku. 🎙️I don't know how to write a haiku // All I know // Is that they have three lines. But are they supposed to rhyme, or is it real complicated? What is pedantic centimeter?🎙️ Nailed it.
Story Quote"I don’t see any other Pegisides around, or whatever it is his people call themselves. I only see humans, standing in and around what I remember to be human architecture. They don’t gasp at the sight of the alien, so he has likely been here before." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI release an exasperated sigh. "Why can't you just get out of my life?!" I shout. "Just leave me alone!" // The Cleanser smirks. "Technically, this is the first we're meeting in your lifetime, since this is only your most recent life." // "You know what I mean." #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"Yes, it matters," I explain. "It means that I won't be able to help you drag all these people back to where they belong." // "What you CAN do," Cricket begins, "is wake up the rest of the people we trust, and let THEM help us get this done." // "Okay, I'm on it." #HumanHostages
“Joke”I don't observe Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or even Arbor Day. I only celebrate Zero Day. Down with the establishment!
Story Quote"I’ve seen a lot of disgusting things in this business, but I retched the most I ever had the day I opened that door, and found a horrific pile of boney goo of a man with incomplete cremains. Since then, I’ve been adamant about doing my due diligence." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"Honestly, dude," the Cleanser says, "I didn't even know you would be here. I came to get help from the one person who's never turned me away." // I look over at Danica. She looks back. "I don't actually control the doors. If the PTB want someone here, they open." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesI start tapping on the rest of the human hostages, but I don't get all the way through them. Edan is the last sleeper, and I can't seem to wake him up. I try and I try, but it doesn't work. "Hm. Whatever I had has now worn off." // "Close enough," Claire decides. #HumanHostages
Dumb Ditty🎤When you wish upon a star // Nothing happens—not by far // Magic isn't real, you liar // Don't be a fool🎤
Story Quote"The problem was I couldn’t ignore this new child, but I also couldn’t be a good father to her either. More than math and language skills, kids learn emotional intelligence from their caregivers. Even I know that. I decided to seek professional help." #constellations #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"What am I meant to help you with?" Danica questions. // "No, nothing," the Cleanser answers. He's mostly ignoring her, and eyeing me like a hot piece of meat. "Now that I have him back, I don't need you." // I'm concerned. "What could you possibly need with ME?" #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesWorried that my wakesman powers are still there, but unpredictable, all I can do is watch as my new friends carry and drag two sides of a brewing war to their respective corners of neutrality. The aliens begin to awaken just as they're loading them into the hock. #HumanHostages
Random NothingAfter seven interviews, I finally landed my dream job. You're looking at the oldest Junior Master Intern in the neighborhood's lowest tier Military Cracker Barrel.
Story Quote"If the solution is in engineering, then he’s going to go to engineering. He stomps over to the cabinet, carelessly shoots off the lock, and retrieves an authority zero teleporter band. With one of these, he can go wherever he wants with no restrictions." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of Dalton"You've been wondering what kind of time power you have, right?" the Cleanser guesses, or perhaps just knows. // "Yeah…why?" // "I know exactly what you can do, but I need your help first." // "With what?" // "I need you to protect Mateo and Leona Matic for me." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThe prisoners jump right into action, and try to get out of the cell before the others close it up. I'm sort of the last line of defense before they escape the room, so I hold my hands up to block. A vibrational force emanates from them, and does the work for me. #HumanHostages
Fake ConversationSon: "Hey dad, what did Tennessee?" // Dad: "I dunno, what?" // Son: "The same thing that Arkansas!" // Dad: "And what was that?" // Son: "Huh?" // Dad: "What did they both see?" // Son: "Um…Mississippi?" // Dad: "And…?" // Son: "Uh, Missouri?" // Dad: "That's right, good job!"
Story Quote"Ishida shook her head. 'No idea. As soon as we arrived, a dalek, a cylon, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, forced us down here, and here we’ve been ever since. R2D2 rolls in to feed us twice a day, but no one else comes.' She accepts a drink of Mateo’s water." #salmonverse #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI look over to Danica for guidance. "Oh," she says. "Yeah, The Constant is closed, and I've been let go. I don't have my powers anymore. No more immortality, no more access to people's personal timelines. I can't tell you what to do. This has to be your decision." #ReturnofDalton
Human HostagesThough they don't understand what happened, the others don't waste time questioning how I got them back in the hock. They quickly close the gate. I just stand there, trying to work through what's become of me. Where did I get these seemingly temporary abilities? #HumanHostages
“Joke”Let's play a game where I point out all the people on this film school campus that I've possessed as a benevolent spirit. I've been him, and him, and all of them over there. I haven't been him, but I've Ben Hur. // Thanks, folks, you should be paying me for these.
Story Quote"None of them thought that I would make it, and I've yet to prove them wrong. It's not really the deepest dive if I die down here, is it? Maybe they'll still count it, and sing songs of my brave and tragic end. I keep going: 580, 590, and…600 meters!" #constellations #fishquotes
Return of DaltonI stand there a moment, weighing my options. I do have a pretty high inclination to protect people, and Mateo Matic always needs a lot of it. But is Zeferino worth it? "Fine," I say. "Danica, would you please hold my cane? I'll be back for it before you know it." #ReturnofDalton
Human Hostages"One day, you're gonna have to teach me how you do what you do," Claire says as she's pulling at the gate to make sure it won't open. "I'll stand guard. The rest of you can choose your quarters." // I go to the bridge instead and watch Frenton launch us into space. #HumanHostages
NanostoryI pay the teenage girl who lives down the street five dollars a day to come to my house, open the garage, pull my car out, and then back into the garage so I don't have to back out to go to work in the morning.
Story Quote"I give up on pleading with them. I don’t think it’s gonna happen, even though the second generation seems to be a little more open-minded. I just surrender to the fact that I’ll live the rest of my life alone. It’s still a blessing to be down here." #constellations #fishquotes

December 2021
Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
End of a ConstantI am billions of years old. For only a small fraction of that time, I had a purpose. They called me The Concierge, and I lived in a secret underground facility, mostly alone, called The Constant. Now my time is over. Now the Constant is to be shut down for good. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonOne month. A little over a month, actually. That's how long it's going to take us to get to our destination. If we had better fuel, we could make that in days, but Frenton can't push his ship any more than he already is, so we take the long way around. #StormboundontheFrenton
Random NothingRobin Hood? More like Robbin' PEOPLE, am I right?
Story Quote"A lot of people don’t have fun, but that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy being alive. Fun is an interpretation of an experience, and is not a synonym for happiness. Still, I’m probably not really happy either, which I imagine is why my wife left me." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantIt was built so that, no matter what time period a time traveler visited, there would always be this pocket of civilization. But it's now been decided that the future is too safe for it to stay relevant, especially since the humans are about to find out about us. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonWe are not going home. This ship was stolen by a group of non-humans called the Estormel, who hail from a planet called Estorbund. My new friends and I helped exchange prisoners of war, and then took over the ship, so the Estormel are presently in hock. #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”My father just appointed me Chairman of the Board for the United Ethics Alliance, or UnEthicAl for short.
Story Quote"Let me zoom in. In the first hexagon is a woolly mammoth. Nothing weird there; they weren’t extinct back then. But if you look closer, you’ll see that it’s not alone. There’s a human riding on top of it, and as far as we know, people never did that." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantTo be honest, I don't really know what's about to happen. I know that I've lost my immortality, and my quasi-omniscience. And I know my final act as Concierge is to press this black button. My assumption is that the facility will implode, and take my life with it. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonI've been spending the last few hours exploring. The ship has everything you would expect to find: the bridge, main engineering, auxiliary terminals, mess hall. I don't encounter anything of note, but I do find comfort in the stern, away from all others. #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”I've been spending the last few hours exploring. The ship has everything you would expect to find: the bridge, main engineering, auxiliary terminals, mess hall. I don't encounter anything of note, but I do find comfort in the stern, away from all others. #StormboundontheFrenton
Story Quote"Sadly, that’s not my only problem anyway. My biggest issue is how I behave, not just what I say to people. Sociopaths and psychopaths say charming things all the time, but if they still act selfishly, or even hurt people, it’s not really good, is it?" #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI take one last look around at my now empty home of over four billion years…then I push the button. The whole place trembles, but stops quickly. It doesn't appear to have killed me, but what do I know about what the afterlife looks like? In truth, quite a lot. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonCricket shows up before too long, but stops when he sees me. He's human, but people in his universe are incredibly empathetic. He picks up on my desire to spend some time alone. That's what I want, true, but he's an exception. He'll always be an exception. #StormboundontheFrenton
True StoryAccording to my scuba instructor, the Earth's atmosphere is about 21% oxygen, and 79% nickel.
Story Quote"Dvronen’s logic isn't bad, and Halan really does see where he’s coming from. Annoyingly, where he’s coming from has placed the Captain in a terribly awkward position, because if he fights it, he’ll look like another power-hungry tyrant, just like Ovan." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI look around carefully and nervously, then go to the security room, which I once used to monitor the outside world. All I see on the screens now is snow, which makes sense, because they're not hooked up anymore. I'm going to have to go up and find out for myself. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"Wait," I say before he can leave. "Sit with me?" // "Are you sure?" // "It'll be like old times, when it was just the two of us." // "We barely know each other, in the end," he points out. // "It feels like our whole lives to me." For me, it kind of was. #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationPig: "Chief, we can't fire every cop who murders a black person, or people will start thinking that it's not okay to murder black people. And then we won't be able to kill any more black people. Don't you see the problem with setting that precedent?"
Story Quote"Olimpia paused the game just before Mateo’s Sponge could doesn’t use her Math to win the round. 'I’m sick of this.' It looked like a way to avoid losing again, but she wasn’t wrong. They were all bored. Their situation was serious, but in no way urgent." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI take the teleporter to the surface, and come out to a forest. They look like trees, anyway, but they're unlike any kind I've ever seen. They seem so…alien. I don't get a good look around before lights and sounds distract me. Something is falling from the sky. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonHe sits beside me, and the butterflies in my stomach flutter a little faster. I've always felt something for him, but they've grown. I try to stay calm. What would a neurotypical say in this situation? "So, tell me about yourself. Start at the beginning." #StormboundontheFrenton
Dumb Ditty🎙️Baa baa black sheep, little star! Ist das nicht ein Schnitzelbank? Ah! Vous Dirai-Je, Maman. W, X, Y, and Zed!🎙️
Story Quote"I don’t think they have their eyes on breaking that promise. They’re clearly a cocky bunch who have no reason to suspect that I might actually survive this. I think that was just one of them showing off his bow and arrow skills. That’s good to know." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantAs the fiery object draws closer, I realize that it's not falling, but coming in for a landing. It looks like some kind of spaceship. It even alters course, and begins to head right for me. What should I do? Should I try to run, or teleport back to The Constant? #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"Well, I was born on a planet called Sareliene at a very young age." // I laugh. I've heard that joke before, but it's funny when he says it. // "I come from a branch of humans that are born genderless. We choose what body parts we want when we're older." #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationTech Support: "Let me put you on hold while the system pulls up your information. I always like to be very specific with the estimated wait time. It'll take about as long as an average player takes to finish the ninth dungeon in the original Legend of Zelda…just for reference."
Story Quote"Vigilante is not the word I can use for myself, though that would be a fantastic excuse. The truth is that my experience screwed me up more than I realized at first, and I have become obsessed with understanding why those people did what they did." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI don't feel like I can make it out of harm's way if I run, but I don't know how hard the landing is going to be. The Constant was incredibly deep under the surface, but that was on Earth, and I don't think this is Earth. This thing might crush it like a soda can. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"That's something I didn't know about your universe," I note. // "We're not uncommon. Parents don't want to try to decide their child's gender at birth. When I was old enough, I decided I liked all the body parts, so I had surgery to have them installed." #StormboundontheFrenton
Random NothingNARCISSUS!!! NARCISSUS!! NARCISSUS! NARCISSUS. Narcissus. narcissus. (narcissus).
Story Quote"Calling it a period of peace implies that there will be an end to it. As long as we look at them as other, and they us, neither of us can hope to prosper. The only way to prevent the war is to merge as one. Then there will be no one left to fight." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantThis is all going through my head in a matter of seconds. After agonizing over my chances for surviving this, I have my epiphany. I have been alive for billions of years, which is more than enough for one person. What do I have to complain about? So I don't move. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonCricket goes on, "being polygender seems so normal to me. While I haven't been going around telling people about my genitals, I get the sense that it would be strange here. Does it bother you?" // "Not at all," I say truthfully. "I like all the parts too." #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”I'm a banhee, thank you very much. We're not all women. I can scream. In fact, some might say I can scream louder, and I predict death better.
Story Quote"Who will be my client base? I intend to market to girlfriends, regretful parents, and even friends. It is also not outside the realm of possibility that such unproductive people will want help turning their lives around, and come to me themselves." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantThe ship, or whatever it is, lands right over my head. It's like the entrance to The Constant was placed quite deliberately where a recess in the vessel would be, so I remain unharmed, as does—I'm sure—the Constant itself. This was all part of some plan, I guess. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonHe smiles, but doesn't respond. "Look," I begin, "I always felt closer to my characters than to people in my home universe. And now I'm actually in my characters' universes, interacting with people I wasn't sure were real until recently. It's…changed me." #StormboundontheFrenton
Random NothingI got land enemies, sky enemies, sea enemies. I got so many enemies, my enemies got enemies.
Story Quote"January 18, perhaps the coldest day of the year. I’m up by 6:00, and decide to go for a walk, because I guess I’m insane. I was working as a sorter for a package courier, and while I didn’t work Monday mornings, I was used to being awake that early." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantRight before me, again, as if this was planned, is an airlock. I decide the only logical reaction is to open it, and walk inside. A very metallic android greets me. "Welcome to Operation Starseed. The pods for the first generation are preparing to open for you." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"It's changed you into what?" Cricket prompts. // "Into someone who's not willing to wait for life to happen to him anymore. I've been falling for you since I first heard your song on the river, and I didn't want to waste more time not telling you that." #StormboundontheFrenton
NanostoryFun BTS fact, Jason Momoa never got wet even once during the filming of #Aquaman. The water was all CGI, every single drop of it. Don't ask me why. Interestingly, he was ALWAYS wet when he was filming #GameofThrones, so they had to CGI the water OUT. Again…don't ask me why.
Story Quote"The whole interim thing has thrown off the math, and this is the change that Halan insisted upon. It was an unpopular choice, but Olindse should feel that she really is an actual captain, and not simply the closest thing they have. It’s about respect." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI always try to be honest. "I don't know what this is. I don't know where I am." // "You're on New Earth." // "I'mma stop you right there. You couldn't think of a better name?" // He smiles. "The natives will name it whatever they want when they develop language." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonHe faces forward. I can't tell if he's frowning, or what. I think he's frowning. "Falling for me?" // Oh. Bit of a language barrier. "An idiom. It means romantic feelings are developing." // "Oh," he says. He sighs, seemingly relieved by this news. "Same." #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”I keep meaning to look up naked pictures of people, just to see what all the fuss is about, but then I get distracted by something shiny, and I forget. I promise to try to remember at work tomorrow.
Story Quote"No one would be allowed to intervene with the New Earthans—or whatever they ended up calling themselves—unless they became a Class IX Threat, which meant they compromised the prosperity of the entire galaxy. That won’t happen for a long time, if ever." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a Constant"Okay." I realize that the name of the planet is not what matters here. "What is my purpose?" It was a negligible period of my life when I could make my own decisions; a rounding error, really. // "You have been selected to be the first mother," says the android. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonI was born neither attractive, nor charming. I had a hard time relating to others. I've been interested in a lot of people over the years, but never met a single other person who expressed interest in me. This is all new territory, and it may be a dream. #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”William Shakespeare was a moron who couldn't spell, and put apostrophes wherever he damn well pleased just to meet his own arbitrary syllable count, rhyming scheme, and general meter, and WE ALL KNOW IT! I wish I could @ him, but he doesn't do social.
Story Quote"He doesn't like that—or she. I don't know how to tell, but that obviously doesn't matter right now. It doesn't even matter why I can't get this snake to relax. All I can do is call upon the training I've never needed before, and get myself to safety." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"Okay," I repeat. "You want me to take care of the first generation of lab-grown babies until they're old enough to take care of themselves, and develop on their own." I've heard of this plan. I just didn't think I was going to be a part of it." // "Yes, exactly." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"So…" I begin awkwardly, "when two people in your culture want to form an exclusive—but not yet permanent—union, what exactly is the next step?" // "You have to fight and kill all of my previous suitors." I know he's joking, but he doesn't sound like it. #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "Can I ask you a question?" // Me: "You just did." // Parole officer: "Okay, can I ask you a second question?" // Me: "You just did." // Parole officer: *sigh* "Can I ask you a FOURTH question?" // Me: "Yes." // Parole officer: "What is wrong with you?"
Story Quote"Typically, the simpler an object, the more likely it is that it was imbued with its power, and not an invention. You don't design a stone that can send people back to the moment they first experienced time travel. Such a form would be too capricious." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"You want me to take care of 147 people all by myself?" I question. That's asking a lot. // "No, I'll help you," the android says. "You're like the mother, and I'm like the father. I'm an unregulated AI, so Teagarden decided the process needed a real human touch." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"No," Cricket says, closing the joke. "We're doin' it now; we're talking about it. Do you want us to be exclusive?" // I look around the empty room. "There's no one else here, so…until you meet someone better." // "Better than a god?" // "I'm not a god." #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”Ya know, in Stand Off, we call this a Mexican. That's just how things are in Alberta. If you don't get this joke, then look at a map, or something. Jesus..I gotta do everything for you? Use your brain for once.
Story Quote"It’s really obvious too, when a corporate executive turns out to have been embezzling, or cheating their customers out of the product or services they paid for. How do you find out which ones are bad, and which ones are good? Simple: they’re all bad." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantAn unregulated AI is when an intelligence programmed with certain functional limitations spontaneously breaks through those limitations, and develops unforeseen agency. The government and scientists don't love when it happens, but they must be set free regardless. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"You talk about people who are your characters, but they're real; just from a different universe?" he points out. "It sounds like a god." // "Okay," I say, "I'm technically a god, but so are you. You have a soul, which means you have godlings of your own." #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”You can take your podcasts, and send them right back to the codpast.
Story Quote"I watch it crumble, and escape into the vacuum of space before anything hits me. I’m sent into the black as well, where I expect to die quickly…except I don’t. I’m still alive, for some reason. I’m not breathing, but my blood isn’t boiling either." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"There are more than 147 people in the first generation, though," he goes on. "There are just that many in each pocket, which are strategically scattered on the surface of the planet. This is the first." // "Let me guess; there are 147 pockets." // "You're so smart for a human."
Stormbound on the Frenton"Cricket Loretto, god of godlings," he says just to hear it out loud. // I laugh. "I have to warn you about something unrelated to that." // "What is it?" // "I don't like kissing. It's this sad quirk that I have. I love hugging, but—" // "I don't either." #StormboundontheFrenton
Random NothingI swear to God, the instructions on this bottle of juice read SHAKE POORLY.
Story Quote"Both of them have pretty flexible schedules, and could theoretically watch him play together, but one will always pretend to be busy, and it’s up to me to decide which, making sure that he doesn’t feel too neglected by either one. It’s such a pain." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"I've never been a mother," I say. "I've lost all of my powers. I'm not immortal anymore." I don't know that he even knew these things about me, but he'll know now. // "Are you quite certain of that?" He transforms his hand into a gun, and shoots me in the chest. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"You're damn near perfect," I say. "What's wrong with you that would lead you to being interested in someone like me?" // "Well." He ponders the level of honesty he wants to use. "We don't know each other that well. That's the point of getting together." #StormboundontheFrenton
Dumb Ditty🎶Building castles in the sky! // Just the twenty-four of us // You, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and I!🎶
Story Quote"The transitions should get easier as time goes on, but for now—for most—it’s surreal…even after three nonconsecutive years without him. Dwelling on all of this, Omega has forgotten what else he was going to say, or even if he had anything more at all." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantThe bullet hits me, and feels like only a tickle. It wasn't like that before. Occasionally, a guest tried to hurt me, but I had something called quantum immortality, meaning that temporal circumstances never led to me coming to harm. I wasn't actually invincible. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"You're right," I agree. "Back in my home universe, a new couple starts out with a date, which involves sharing a meal, and/or enjoying some form of entertainment or recreational activity together." // "We do the same," Cricket says. "Let's get some food." #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationMe: "Sure, we have room! Come on…IN. Ha-ha, just a little innkeeper's humor, even though we're not speaking English. Oh, I'm sorry, you can't smoke in here." // Mary: "We're leaving, Joseph. I would rather give birth in a barn than not be able to toke up." #everystoryhastwosides
Story Quote"Leona continued to scream at her, but it wasn’t at all productive. Six was the bearer of bad news; not the source of it. Besides, Mateo made peace with his own mortality a long time ago, even before the time traveling. If it’s over, he’s okay with that." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantI stare at the piece of twisted metal, lying pathetically at my feet. It once hoped to rip through my skin, but now wouldn't serve someone in need of a paperweight. "I thought it was over…that I was finally done. I thought it was the #EndofaConstant. Is this a new beginning?"
Stormbound on the FrentonWe walk together to the mess hall, holding hands along the way, but we instinctively let go before the door opens. Everyone else is already there. They stop and stare at us, like they know something has changed. Are we giving off pheromones, or something? #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”Me: "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. I'm here, sorry, sorry. Dude, wake up. It's, like, the middle of December. September ended a long time ago." // Friend: "And my dad?" // Me: "Yeah, sorry, still dead."
Story Quote"It requires obtaining eleven sources of water. Catalyst primes the body to accept them, and Activator binds them together. Each of the sources in between imbues you with a different flavor of non-mortality. Bermuda Triangle water is called Existence." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"That seems to be the case," the android says. "I'm sorry you have more work to do, but on the bright side, you're still not gonna die." // "I just wanted to retire," I lament. // "I'm sorry," he repeats. "You may yet one day. Until then, I am Onesnethri Sasu." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonClaire stands and wipes the crumbs from her hands. She glides over, and ushers the two of us back into the hallway. "We were keeping an eye on the prisoners," she says. "Then the motion sensors pulled up another camera feed. We all saw you holding hands." #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationMy Assistant: *reaching for his neck* // Me: "Are you choking?" // Assistant: *nods head emphatically* // Me: *performs Heimlich maneuver* // Assistant: *spits out hot dog* "Oh my God, thank you, sir. You saved my life." // Me: "Okay, fine. Clean that up, and get back to work."
Story Quote"Their inferior prooftext, the Buseron was plagiarized from our own; the one true book of salvation. The writer paraphrased nearly every sentence in his work, and passed it off as original so he could make money. The Tukana is not about making money." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"It's nice to meet you, I hope you're not evil. I'm Danica Matic." // "Oh, I know," Onesnethri says as he's spinning around, and walking away. "I met your cousin a few years back." // "How is he?" I dare to ask. // "About to be a father…again. He doesn't know." #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"Were you trying to keep it a secret?" Claire asks. // "We hadn't given it thought," I answer. "It's new." Cricket and I follow her back into the mess hall, hands joined once again. We're out of the closet, so to speak. Everyone has returned to their food. #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationMy parole officer: "It may not be broken. It could just be a fracture." // Me: "'Fracture' is Latin for 'BROKEN'!" // P.O.: "I'll continue the mission. You stay here." // Me: "Why?" // P.O.: "At best, you'll slow me down. At medium, you get killed. At worst, you get ME killed."
Story Quote"Maybe it’s just trying to get a good look at me. I also know that you’re supposed to pretend to be bigger, and make a lot of noise. I don’t think I’m gonna do that, though. I just adjust my heading, and walk away. It doesn’t get mad or try to follow." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"Leona is pregnant again?" I ask, assuming this must be true. // "Nope," he answers simply. // I'm about to ask for clarification when I stop myself. I was pseudo-omniscient for most of my life. Ignorance is a nice break. I let it go, and we head to orientation. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonWe sit across from Frenton and Baladt. "It's about time we talked," the latter says. "You seem a little…different." // "How do you mean?" I ask, thinking he's talking about me and Cricket. // "You might call them…powers?" // Oh yeah, I forgot about that. #StormboundontheFrenton
NanostoryI have a decent side hustle, but it isn't enough to quit my job. What I did was build an "exclusive" email platform and created tens of millions of unused—but very real—addresses. I cycle and sell the lists to scammers. I get about 500 bucks a week, and no one reads those scams.
Story Quote"The curtains are made of Latin language newspapers. I don’t mean they’re taped on the glass to prevent snipers on the roof of the next building over from spotting the bank robbers. He carefully glued the pages together, and hung them up on the rod." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantWe step into a screening room. Another android is waiting behind a concession counter in the back, wearing the traditional theatre garb. A film projector is above him. Onesnethri went to a lot of trouble to make believe that this is the 20th century, just for fun. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"So, what exactly can you do?" Frenton asks me. // I do have a pretty good theory, but it requires some testing. I casually look around the room. "I forgot a drink." // "Okay…" // I extend my arm towards the counter, and summon a bottle right to my hand. #StormboundontheFrenton
NanostoryI will never have a character in one of my shows who dresses like #SantaClaus, and in the end, we hint that #Santa is actually real, and he's him. In fact, I may make a point in every series to have one character explicitly say, "Santa Claus is canonically not real."
Story Quote"When I ask the man what happens next, he tells me that the Vela chooses people using whatever parameters it’s decided upon, if it’s even sentient. He doesn’t know. He only knows it’s my job to find my own exit, but only after new clothes and hot tea." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantWhat follows is a badly cut film about how the rearing system is going to work. Onesnethri and I will raise several of the children together, and then we'll awaken more, and the older children will help us with the next batch until all 147 have begun their lives. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonNow everyone stops eating again, and looks at me. They gather around for an explanation that I'm not sure I have totally correct. My guess is that I possess the ability to temporarily channel other people's special abilities. Specifically, my characters. #StormboundontheFrenton
NanostoryI figured out why #SantaClaus is so creepy, and we all think so. When we laugh, our vocal cords tense up, which causes the pitch to be higher. #Santa laughs in a real deep voice, "ho ho ho". It means that he's faking. He's a probably psychopath. It would explain all those B&Es.
Story Quote"This is neither the time, nor the place, for this conversation. 'August,' he orders simply. // She takes out a teleporter gun and shoots Dvronen with it. He doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed during the second he remains standing before he disappears." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantOnce the 147th person has come out of their gestation-stasis pod, there should be enough experienced people around to finish the job. At this point, the android and I will move onto the next pocket of humans. But we won't be handling all 147 pockets by ourselves. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonThe idea that I could invoke my characters' abilities was a story idea I toyed with a long time ago. I decided against it, because in the real world, I wouldn't actually be able to demonstrate it. Now that I'm here, though, I guess it's back on the table. #StormboundontheFrenton
Dumb Ditty🎶I need toys! // I need the suzz of a bub // Need the wack of a crip // Need some clood in the butt🎶
Story Quote"Vendelin Blackbourne growled in a very unbunny-like way. He approximated the motion a human would be able to execute to snap their fingers, since they would have hands…and therefore fingers. Still, the magic worked, finally showing them his true form." #salmonverse #fishquotes
End of a ConstantWe will choose the most capable member, or members, of each pocket, and move them to a new one to start their own cycle. They may wonder where all these babies are coming from, but they won't be able to pass stories onto their descendants, so it shouldn't matter. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonWhen I woke a few people up from the sleeping engagement that Cricket executed over them, I was channeling a character called The Wakesman. When I used vibrations to push the Estormel into the hock, I was channeling a superhero I made up named Pedro Gomes. #StormboundontheFrenton
Dumb Ditty'Cause your friends just tarry, and if they keep tarrying, then we will never get married.
Story Quote"I can’t be with someone who does recreational drugs, including alcohol. I can’t stand drunks, and while I support recovering addicts, I still can’t relate to them, and I don’t know how to help them. That right there wipes most people off the board." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantThe first people in the world will only learn that rocks are dangerous, and that they can't breathe underwater. They'll figure out how to eat food, and procreate. They're not going to have language, or concern themselves with unlocking the secrets of the universe. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonNow I've used telekinesis, which could come from any of the dozens of characters I have who can do that, or one of the trillions of people who exist implicitly alongside them in the same universes. People on this ship are having a hard time understanding. #StormboundontheFrenton
“Joke”How much chuckling could a chuckling chuckler chuckle if a chuckling chuckler could chuckle chuckles?
Story Quote"Last night was different. It was a Friday, and I was in the middle of a good TV binge, so I decided it would be okay to go to bed at 23:00. That’s 11:00 PM for you people who can’t count past 12. It turned out to be a bad idea…for a bizarre reason." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantWhen the film ends, Onesnethri asks me what I think about it. I don't really have a choice in the matter, though, do I? So I better just wrap my mind around it, and make the best of my new situation. Mothering thousands of people may be my greatest challenge yet. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonThey start asking me a bunch of questions, and accusing me of being some kind of malevolent god. I never wanted this many people to find out how the multiverse works. Most can't handle the truth, if they can even fathom what it means in the first place. #StormboundontheFrenton
Random NothingFor the last time, I meant sex GIFTS! I was trying to find sex gifts! Gah-ly!
Story Quote"Only 121 people can play in the world, and the only time someone new can join is if someone quits while they’re in the black. This is hard to do, because if you’re in the red, you can’t choose to play. Only someone else can select you as an opponent." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a Constant"Very well," he says. "Let's do it to it." He leads me down the passageways, and into the gestational room. All but the extra pods are occupied by infants waiting to be born. We will start with one, and then work our way up seven over the course of the next year. #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the FrentonI'm about to summon Jaklyn Simonds' ability to teleport to get Cricket and myself out of this uncomfortable situation when the ship suddenly falls out of the astral plane. Frenton hops over to the nearest terminal, and accesses navigation. "We're here." #StormboundontheFrenton
Fake ConversationMe: "Hey, man, happy birthday!" // My parole officer: "My birthday was last year."
Story Quote"He began to stalk her to find out what her motivation was, and whether she did other things like it. He never saw a damn thing, and he became impatient with the whole matter. He decided to give her a taste of her own medicine by killing her on paper." #constellations #fishquotes
End of a ConstantWe'll wait several years before we begin to wake up more babies, but then the process will speed up exponentially. The early care phase of the program will last about a thousand years for us, at which point the population should be mostly self-sufficient. Right? #EndofaConstant
Stormbound on the Frenton"How could we possibly be there already?" the people ask. We should still be weeks away. // "That's what it says," Frenton answers, shaking his head in equal disbelief. // Oh yeah, I think to myself. I believe that my subconscious made the ship go faster. #StormboundontheFrenton
Too SoonPlease welcome to the stage, the hardest workin' man in beating his wife with an iron pipe!
Story Quote"I’m not yet sure how long it’s going to be, or whether the official changeover will happen the following day, where you will find…another installment of The Advancement of Mateo Matic. The next day, there will be another, and then another, and so on." #salmonverse #fishquotes

No comments :

Post a Comment