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| 1
IMS AloneIf anyone is hearing this signal, my name is Azad Petit. I slipped out of an airlock on a colony ship, and now I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but my Integrated Multipurpose Suit. I'm alive, but I might not be for long. Please send help. I'm so alone. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI faked my death. #NickFishermanLives
Epic BioHi, I'm Nick, and I'm a Chronic Oversharer. I once fell in love with my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great granddaughter. I guess, when you're Adam, you can have Eve or Lilith, but literally everyone else is off limits.
Story Quote"But the real problem was...she might never even have the chance now. The following letters comprise their initial correspondences, each one taking around a week to reach its destination, given the time lag imposed by vast interplanetary distances." #correspondence #fishquotes
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2
IMS AloneI was servicing the inner doors of Airlock SP-2 when the ship exploded for a reason that I will probably never know. Since I was operating in a high-risk area, I was required to be at PREPCON 1, which was why I was fully protected with my suit. I doubt anyone else was. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI wanted to be famous for most of my life before I came to this world, but when it finally found me, it's not what I was expecting. People were literally trying to kill me. It was just too much. The only way to stop them was to take myself out of the equation. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingUnpopular opinion: "irregardless" is a word. It means the opposite of "regardless".
Story Quote"It is a cold, heartless place, where we live in stale, recycled air. It’s a wonder that we’ve survived this long, but it could all go up in an instant with a single breach in the walls. I’m exaggerating, but it is pretty dangerous and stressful here." #correspondence #fishquotes
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3
IMS AloneBy some miracle, the outer doors opened on their own at the right time, or I would have splattered against them when the explosion blew me away. The ship was moving at fractional speeds, so anything that's left of it is thousands of kilometers away. It's just me now. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI vomited for two days before my stomach ran out of food, and then I just had nausea for the rest of the week. I was free, but it still felt like a prison. It still does, for I am still in the same universe, and there's always a chance that I might be caught. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingMy hen's gone all broody, so she's not laying any more unfertilized eggs. #winnerwinnerchickendinner
Story Quote"There are those who do not even have access to one of the domes. They found pockets of technically survivable air in the deepest corners of the planet, so they don’t die in a matter of hours, but their lifespans are quite short when compared to ours." #correspondence #fishquotes
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4
IMS AloneTo clarify, the airlock was in the stern, on the port side, so I was thrown in the opposite direction of the ship. That is how our trajectories split ways. I don't know for sure that I'm the only survivor, but no one is responding to my messages, so I'm pretty alone. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI wasn't the only one to fake their death. We planned it out for weeks. My friend, Dutch was also being harassed and threatened, so he needed an out. Our bodyguards agreed to start fresh new lives too. This didn't seem to bother them, and they were paid well. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingMy Cayman accounts are lookin' a little low. Seems I need to have another conversation with my "wife". // I wrote this so long ago, along with the one before this. Neither of them is funny, but whatever. They can't all be winners, right?
Story Quote"Finally, it all stops. Now she’s just in the middle of nowhere, and apparently no longer has a body. She can’t feel anything, nor see anything but the infinite void. If this is death, it’s a pretty boring afterlife. She would like to speak to a manager." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 5
IMS AloneHere's what I have: a portable resource unit, which houses all of my life-supporting resources, including air, water, food, and power. The primary carbon scrubber is still working at optimal efficiency, and I have a backup scrubber in my helmet if things get even worse. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesOur mutual friend, Kelly didn't want to fake her death, and we didn't feel like she needed to. No one thinks that she has magical powers, so she's just normal famous. She's covering for us now, keeping my website going, and staying in touch with our true fans. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingThat's not trivia, it's fitting. All patent clerks are geniuses.
Story Quote"Everyone said aye—in person, or through comms—except for Ramses. He didn’t want to get involved. According to him, this one Fireship posed no significant threat to either galaxy, and could only waste their time when they should be trying to find Romana." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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6
IMS AloneThe water supply is finite, but the recycling system is working. I don't love the idea of drinking my own urine, but the truth is I've been doing it my whole life. Humans perfected water recycling decades ago. I guess it just seems weird to be so close to the process. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesIt's been scary, but things are gonna be much better. We just have to keep our heads down, and stay out of sight for a few months. After that, people will lose interest in the news of our deaths, and we can go out in disguises. No one will think that we're us. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingCome back later, I'm embedded.
Story Quote"I should think that a mission that included a kidnapped baby would be rife with corruption and amorality, but I truly hope that things have changed since then, and you at least feel safe and happy with the people around you. Write back when you can." #correspondence #fishquotes
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7
IMS AloneBut what about food, you ask? Well, I have that covered too. A dayfruit smoothie is stored in one of my PRU compartments, and a tiny little garden where a new sac forms and grows. Some of my water goes into that. I think you can guess where the fertilizer comes from. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesIt's been boring in this safehouse. We've been missing Kelly, and the other people we know in this world. She knows that we're still alive, but she has to keep a distance, because people could be watching her. There is a conspiracy theory that I'm still alive. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingWho's coming to my Saturnalia next week? No clothes. No wine. All fun.
Story Quote"I’ve asked about going to Earth many times, long before I knew anything about you, but it’s always been impossible. This was planned as a one-way mission. We’re supposed to die here. Some already have. It will be a long time before anything changes." #correspondence #fishquotes
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8
IMS AlonePower. How is this thing powered? There is a microfusion reactor in the PRU, and nanofusion reactors in my suit for true emergency use. Right now, I have enough reserves to last me for weeks, but the ramscoop nodes can extend that indefinitely. I'll discuss them next. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesRight now, Dutch, one of our bodyguards, and I are finishing up a game of cards. I'm still not entirely sure how it works, but I seem to be winning. The other guard is walking the perimeter in preparation for us going out for groceries. It's always me and her. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”I'm thinking about getting into this NXIVM organization. I've heard great things. Anyone wanna join with me? // A bit of a disclaimer, I'm about a year ahead on these 08:15 nanofiction slots, and it was around this time last year that I had COVID/long COVID. That's why they suck.
Story Quote"Surely it’s a pretty big priority. We’re not the only two people having this problem. You said that you don’t know much about Earth, but do you know about any of the other colonies? A lot of the rest of the solar system has been colonized by now too." #correspondence #fishquotes
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9
IMS AloneInterstellar space isn't dense, but it is by no means empty either. There are individual atoms here and there. The PRU is covered in these little nodes that suck them up, and process them for integration. I might even be able to survive out here for an entire lifetime. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesYou remember when I went on that rant about the day of the week being named Thursday, supposedly after the god of thunder, Thor, who doesn't exist in this universe? Well, neither did the legend of Nimue. Yet that's the name of my guard. Where did it come from? #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”I'm not going to become full vegan, because I love cheese more than almost anything, but I've decided to stop eating eggs. Did you know, it takes 53 gallons of water to produce one egg? I'm really concerned with the environment. I'll fill that void with tons and tons of almonds.
Story Quote"That might sound like a non sequitur, but field researchers are the rock stars of the land. It’s a coveted position, but it’s also the most dangerous. Nearly all deaths are caused by field accidents. It even outweighs death from age-related disease." #correspondence #fishquotes
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10
IMS AloneSince we have time, let's go over how I use the scarce elements that my ramscoop nodes pick up. Hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe. I use it to keep the reactors going, and to maintain clean water via electrolysis. Without it, nothing else matters. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesThough no one has ever asked—because they know it's none of their business—Nimue and I are posing as a married couple. Dutch is pretending to be my little brother, and the other guard, Mazin is meant to be Nimue's uncle. Again, it hasn't come up yet, though. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”Whoa, whoa, whoa! They got #TheBachelorETTE now? I've been watching #TheBachelor for 21 years, and I had no idea they made a spinoff. When did THIS happen?
Story Quote"Suffice to say that I would take your job over mine any day. You may never have encountered an issue yet, but it’s quite important, and if something does come up, you could be instrumental in saving lives. Mine is pointless, and utterly redundant." #correspondence #fishquotes
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11
IMS AloneHelium doesn't have much use in a survival situation. Still, the designers didn't want to waste the second most abundant element. It's not a particularly efficient fuel for propulsion, but it's processed for the maneuvering thrusters, so they don't waste anything else. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesNimue and I go shopping once a week. We need supplies, of course, and it's good to go out and be seen by the community, even if we don't let them stare at our faces. I don't need glasses anymore, but I wear them for a disguise. I've not been recognized yet. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”I held the door open for someone in 1998, just as a good deed. I've still not yet been punished for it. I live in fear of its inevitability.
Story Quote"The Parallel’s only noteworthy competitor should be the Fifth Division. The problem is, most of their weapons were left in their former cosmic corner. They’re still powerful, and they still command this room, but they’re a shadow of what they once were." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 12
IMS AloneOxygen is used for water and air. Carbon is for food synthesis and suit repair due to micrometeoroid strikes. Neon adds to the fuel, because again, what else would you use it for? Nitrogen is also for food. Iron reinforces the suit, specifically for radiation shielding. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesYou may think it would be better to hole up in the safehouse with MREs, but people would notice if we weren't real neighbors. We must look like normal people who moved in recently, and are trying to lead normal lives. We don't party and make friends, though. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingMy new cat's name is Kitten Caboodle. YOU'RE unoriginal!
Story Quote"Romana was standing in a lit reading nook of the hotel suite. She was surrounded by a swirling swarm of dark particles. They made her disappear for a couple of seconds, only to return her for a couple more before sending her away again. It was unending." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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13
IMS AloneEverything moves in space, nothing is still. Even so, some things are faster than others. Me? I'm movin' pretty fast, so the scanning lasers can't detect particular resources fast enough to maneuver me towards hotspots. But the algorithm can make some educated guesses. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI have to end this quick. Obviously, no one knows that I'm in possession of a phone. I paid a guy I met in the bathroom of a convenience store to buy a burner, and leave it in a neutral location for me to find later. I wouldn't reach out if it weren't urgent. #NickFishermanLives
Language JokeEye haight ewe. Your to chased.
Story Quote"I may not ever be able to read a message that tried to come through during the upgrades. If you do try to send something—as people used to say in the olden days—it could get lost in the mail. I’ll hit you back when systems are up and running again." #correspondence #fishquotes
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14
IMS AloneIf you're picking up this signal, then you might be wondering why I'm wasting my time explaining to you how my suit works. Well, the truth is that it works so well at keeping me alive that it's kind of boring here. But I do have options. I could sedate myself instead. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesTo be clear, the guy who bought me this burner phone was at a gas station on our way to where we live now. It's not like he's a local who could figure who I am, and where I live. So we're good, I'm good. I just need your help with something. It's important. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”Safelite Lite repairs, but Safelite Lite doesn't replace. If you need your window to be replaced, you'll have to go to the regular Safelite. If you go to Safelite Max, we'll give you half off tickets to see a band that a few of our techs are in. They play on Wednesday afternoons.
Story Quote"I sleep and work in the same compartment, and I’m all stocked up. Not everyone lives like that. Since I’ve never been able to leave my workstation unmanned for extended periods of time, I have special permission to store an expanded cache of rations." #correspondence #fishquotes
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15
IMS AloneThe suit comes with all sorts of medication; everything that you would expect to find in a typical medkit. One of these is a sedative that will all but put me to sleep. It lowers my breathing patterns, and dampens my need for food and water, though it's not full stasis. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesAnyway, Leonard, please write me back. I gotta get out of the bathroom, and return to the card game. Don't worry, this burner isn't even on vibrate. I'll just have to check it periodically to see if you've replied. So if it takes a while, that explains why. #NickFishermanLives
Random NothingHave you ever noticed that Sofia Vergara's boobs are pretty big?
Story Quote"We have lockdowns all the time, so I kind of know what you went through. Like you, we’re always pretty well-stocked. We don’t have any restrictions on it, but we try to be mindful of what others will need, so we don’t take more than our fair share." #correspondence #fishquotes
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16
IMS AloneWhy would I choose to sedate myself? I don't know how long I'm gonna be here. I'm sending this distress call out, but who knows who's nearby, or whether they'll pick it up. I have resources, but it might be smart to limit my reliance on them by limiting my use of them. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesWith my message to Leonard done, I hide the phone in the secret pocket that I sewed into the thigh of my pants. I've already been in the bathroom for too long, but if I kind of frown and look uncomfortable when I go back out, they won't ask me any questions. #NickFishermanLives
Fake ConversationPatient: "What's the verdict, doc? What's wrong with me?" // Doctor: "Let's just say that you now have something in common with about 90% of the koalas in Australia."
Story Quote"It sounds like his work comes with a lot of risks, not only from traveling through toxic zones, but from dealing with all sorts of different people who are living in different environments, and have different agendas, which may be difficult to parse." #correspondence #fishquotes
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17
IMS AloneI'm still not convinced. If the idea is to conserve resources, then the question I need to ask myself first is for what? Is anyone coming? I don't think I'm gonna do it. I can always turn it on later. It doesn't knock me unconscious either, so I can revive myself too. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesI go back to the table, and pick up my cards. "You didn't peek, did you?" // "No." // "Uh-uh." // "Okay. Then I win." I slap my cards down on the table. They're nothing, I didn't win. I don't ever win. They're still not convinced I'm not just hustling them. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”Me: "Oh." *holds stomach* "I should have bought a soda too to settle my stomach. And also none of this junk food. And not the soda either." *opens fridge* "Oh right, there's already a soda in here. I had fast food yesterday too. Ha! That's the joke: diabetes.
Story Quote"I know that it wasn’t real, but it feels like I spent a lot of time crafting a perfect speech, and now, not only is it gone, but it probably wasn’t all that relevant. It was most likely total nonsense. And I still need to come up with something good." #correspondence #fishquotes
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18
IMS AloneI check my power reserves, and power projections. While the scanners can't hunt for hotspots, they can predict how likely I am to stay supplied. I have plenty of deuterium for fuel, and the suit is expecting enough hydrogen to keep me going. Time for some entertainment. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesNimue steps back into the house, and stomps the excess snow from her shoes. "Ready to go?" she asks me. // "Absolutely," I answer. "I annihilated these two yahoos again." // She rolls her eyes, knowing the score. // "Have him back by midnight," Mazin jokes. #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”I did NOT get my ex-wife drunk. All I did was hire the world's worst divorce lawyer, and end up having to pay $98,000 a day in alimony. Then, to make it up to me, he drove with me to Vegas while she was there. Then I drove us all to the chapel so they could get a quick marriage.
Story Quote"It’s protected from outside interference, and prisoners are genuinely locked up in prison structures. They’re separated by walls, gaps, swaths of land, canyons, and oceans. You get sent here, you’re not going anywhere until it’s time for your release." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 19
IMS AloneInformation is a resource too, and while power is a concern no matter where you are, data storage has become easier and easier over the years. I have countless hours of media at my disposal. Books, music, TV shows, and movies. The only problem is what to choose first. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"That jacket isn't heavy enough," Nimue points out as I'm heading towards her and the door. // "It's part of my cover," I explain. "He's the husband who never wears the right thing, only to complain about it not working later while his wife shakes her head. #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryMy mind is a steel trap, but memories keep leaking out. My current theory is that they're slipping through the air holes that I drilled into the trap so they can breathe.
Story Quote"He had been wanting this forever, and finally found a place to build it. Starter nanites constructed it for him while they were gone, with the first room being dedicated to the Insulator of Life, as well as the equipment necessary to produce a new body." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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20
IMS AloneOh my God, I have to go to school! The suit recognizes that I'm in the middle of a life or death situation, and it's blocking all entertainment domains—even music—until I take and pass a course on the suit's functions. My grandmother helped design it. I know this stuff. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesNimue starts to shake her head, inadvertently playing into the character that I've concocted for her, but she stops herself, and just glares at me instead. Then she points to the coat hook. "Get the big one." // "Very well, honey," I say, keeping our cover. #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryWish me luck, I'm off to an alternate reality where everything is EXACTLY the same as it is here, except to distinguish 6s and 9s, the bar is placed above the number, instead of under it.
Story Quote"I suppose that we could come up with a protocol where we reply right away with a very brief acknowledgement as a sort of manual read receipt. That way, we know that the other is still alive, but can’t reply fully yet. What do you think of that idea?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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21
IMS AloneI aced the class, as I do. Now I'm scrolling through the movies domain to find something that looks interesting to me. The Martian? No. Gravity? No. Lost in Space? Lol, hell nah. Nothing about space, please. I think I'll try this 2009 film called Pandorum. Looks creepy. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesWe step out of the house, and start to walk down the steps, only to come face to face with none other than Leonard. I sent the message only minutes ago. That was fast. "Oh, hey. Got your email. Looks like I was on the right path." // Nimue glares at me again. #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryEvery four years, people ask me when I'm going to run for president, but the truth is, I'm not old enough. I turned into a vampire when I was 17 in the summer of 1819, so I'm stuck in a filler year. I actually can't even vote!
Story Quote"In other news, my dad is coming home soon. My next letter to you should be a recap of what we end up discussing. He’s been fumfering when I’ve managed to get him on a call, so I know that he wasn’t innocent. We’ll finally get some answers, Corinthia." #correspondence #fishquotes
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22
IMS AloneGuys, I was wrong. Pandorum was super about space. In fact, it's about isolation in space. It was very good, and I made myself watch the whole thing. But it still hit a little too close to home. My power projections are dropping, so I think that's it for entertainment. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"You sent him a damn email?" Nimue questions me. // "I was obviously already on my way," Leonard says. He steps forward. "Hi, I'm Leonard Miazga." // "How did you find us?" she demands to know. // Leonard sighs. "A lot of people know where you are, and that #NickFishermanLives."
Random NothingI'm glad that humans invented bags. I was worried about that for a second.
Story Quote"If that’s true, why didn’t he tell me about you earlier? We could have known each other since we were kids, and had some sort of relationship growing up. Yet he played into the experiment. He could have made things a little better, but chose not to." #correspondence #fishquotes
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23
IMS AloneI'm still not ready to sedate myself to extend my life expectancy. How about I change things up a bit in a new way? I've been drinking chocolate dayfruit smoothie, but I'm running low on this batch. Why don't I try a more exotic flavor next? Fish? Meatloaf? Maybe duck? #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"I'll explain everything," Leonard goes on. "Why don't we go inside, so everyone can hear at once?" // Nimue is on high alert. "It's okay," I say to her. "We can trust him. I wouldn't have reached out if he were a threat." I look at him. "I know his future." #NickFishermanLives
Fake ConversationMe: "You know what your problem is?" // My new friend: "Here we go again. What's my problem?" // Me: "Your problem is everyone's always telling you what they think your problem is." // My friend: "Oh. Well, I think you're right."
Story Quote"In some ways, it’s been easier for me. I no longer have the opportunity to ask my mom about it, but I also don’t have the anxiety from anticipating her answers. I just hope that you two can find a way past this, and maintain your strong relationship." #correspondence #fishquotes
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24
IMS AloneErm, I chose meatloaf. Like most people these days, I am vegetarian. I am actually a true vegetarian, which means that I don't even eat cruelty-free cultured meat. I think it's okay, but I'm really not used to it. I have no choice, though. I have to finish this batch. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"I don't know what that means," Nimue has never believed that I was from another universe. She just believes in the money that I paid her, and the fresh start that I promised. // "The damage is done, so let's discuss it. Non-violently. Please and thank you." #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryDo you know how many times I died trying to figure out how to design a parachute that worked? I did that for you. I died so you wouldn't have to. You're welcome, by the way.
Story Quote"I was just wondering if people on Vacuus even acknowledge that this time of the year used to be a thing, or if you’ve even heard of it in the first place. Or…do you go all out with thick themed sweaters, hanging stockings, and seasonal hot drinks?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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25
IMS AloneAll right. I hope someone gets these messages eventually. I'm going to put them on a loop, and keeping send them out. For now, I guess I am going to sedate myself, if for nothing else than to escape the tedium. I won't be passed out, just lightly sleeping. See ya later. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesNimue is nothing if not pragmatic. I'm right; Leonard knows about us, and apparently so do others. So the only logical next step is damage control, not trying to figure out how to build a time machine. "Very well. Come in out of the cold," she instructs us. #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryYou know that crazy, superstitious belief that, if you eat an animal's brain, you gain its knowledge? Well, I just barely survived an alternate reality where that was real. There was just one really smart guy left. He has filed his teeth to sharp points. Humans are animals.
Story Quote"Cosette sometimes needed to be taken seriously, so she turned herself into an elder, but she sometimes wanted to be underestimated, so she showed up as a teenager. Most of the time, she just wanted to feel healthy, which meant being in her mid-twenties." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 26
IMS AloneIt's taking me a long time to record this one last message before I go night-night. I've already injected myself with the sedative, but I'm still alert enough to speak. If you're reading this, it should be fine. If you're LISTENING to it, I probably sound intoxicated. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesWe walk into the house to find Dutch and Mazin by the windows. "Don't bother explaining," Mazin says. "I stuck a listening device in one of the bushes. We could hear the whole thing. So you're the famous parole officer, Leonard Miazga. It's nice to meet you." #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryTwice—TWICE!—I died because I totally forgot to eat for several weeks. I died of thirst once, but it wasn't my fault. I accidentally drank a protozoa, then hallucinated that I was in the Atacama Desert four million years ago. I was actually in Lake Baikal four million years ago.
Story Quote"The snake had a very different impression of them. It immediately unwrapped itself from Mateo’s leg, and went for the flock of holograms. It was probably pretty upset that none of them seemed to be real, but no one stuck around to see its full reaction." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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27
IMS AloneI'm up! My suit just gave me a stimulant instead of waking me gradually. And there's a reason for this. I've been asleep for nearly two months, but the interstellar medium has become denser. This means two things: more power…and I'm probably approaching a star system. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesLeonard shakes Mazin's hand. "I'm not a P.O. anymore. I've gone private, and my first job is bringing in your charge while sending you three deeper into hiding with better resources for better lives. Sorry to spring this on you, but we don't have much time." #NickFishermanLives
Language JokeWow, look at all those crabs out there. It's so pincheresque.
Story Quote"It is mostly for the younger crowd, who are indoctrinated as children. They don’t go outside themselves. An adult who is rated for surface excursions collects from nearby, and hides them around the base for kids to find, and give to their families." #correspondence #fishquotes
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28
IMS AloneIt feels good to be back! The ISM is denser still. My puny little sensors still can't be sure that there's a star system nearby, but there's gotta be. There's just gotta. I need to figure out how to slow myself down. I have my thrusters, but unfortunately, no drag sail. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"No, I don't like this," Mazin says, shaking his head. "Nick, I know you trust him, but I don't know him." // Leonard goes on, "Nick, those people you worked for in Iowa? They've been watching you. They've been watching you since you arrived in this universe." #NickFishermanLives
“Joke”The Hulk is my absolute favorite comic book character of all time. I just hate how angry he is. It's my one and only gripe. Otherwise, the Incredible Hulk is perfect.
Story Quote"For us to assume that they would inevitably agree—and to be ready to act on it immediately—would have been rude, and placed us at an unfair advantage when it comes to future talks. It would be like suggesting that they need us more than we need them." #correspondence #fishquotes
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29
IMS AloneI know some tricks to generate drag. First, I can supercharge my PRU to prioritize helium. Pulling in material slows me down, and gives me the fuel I need to move around, which I'll do in serpentine. The rest of the suit can also interact with particles in other ways. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman Lives"I always thought that business was fishy," I admit. "Some sort of government entity, like the CIA?" // "As I said," Leonard begins, "I went private. They're always on the hunt for the unusual, and your blog caught their eye within a week of you starting it." #NickFishermanLives
Dumb Ditty🎵Love and marriage…love and marriage. Go together like a horse and buggy!🎵
Story Quote"The way I see it, he has to take the first steps to building a relationship with me, not the other way around. If he never sends me a message, then so be it. But I’m not going to write the first letter, and then sit here in anticipation of a reply." #correspondence #fishquotes
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30
IMS AloneMy sensors are definitely detecting a star system now. I'm in its backyard. Fortunately, I seem to be coming at it coplanar to the orbits. I might be able to kiss a few atmospheres, which could drastically slow me down. The system will need to calculate these maneuvers. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesThat blog. I wouldn't be here without it. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I just kept my head down, and tried to assimilate. It's caused problems, but it was the only hope I ever had of finding a way back to my friends. I regret nothing. #NickFishermanLives
NanostoryI grew up in a cult, and they taught us that the U.S.S.R. stood for the United States of Stupid Russia. It's the only thing they got right.
Story Quote"I want you to know that I won’t let him ruin our new sibling connection, and I would hope that you don’t let whatever he does or says—or doesn’t do or say—stop you from wanting to converse with me. Okay, I think I’m done with all this negativity now." #correspondence #fishquotes
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31
IMS AloneThe computer has made the calculations. It's mapped the orbiting bodies, and is maneuvering me towards the closest planet for a gravity assist. Not gonna lie, I'm scared. I could die. I'm going so fast, and there are so many variables. Wish me luck. Comms will be out. #IMSAlone
Nick Fisherman LivesEveryone is looking to me for a decision, or rather for any further information to help them make their own decisions. I nod. "We gotta do what we gotta do. If they've always known, there's no hiding from these people. We have to go in, and hope for the best." #NickFishermanLives
Fake ConversationAnd so I says, "John, you're on the wrong side of the wall!" Thank you! Thank you, that's my time, but I'll be here all week! And the week after that, and the week after that. I can never leave. No one can leave. Get comfortable folks, we're all in hell. You wanted this.
Story Quote"This can last for years, but it’s a relatively rare event, and has only happened twice since Earth sent the probes. What’s not all that rare is when one of these meteors becomes dislodged from the shower, and we end up between it and all its friends." #correspondence #fishquotes
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| 1
Citrus ContractDave Nile Seidel is a teleporter, but not just any teleporter. He can transport regular people who would otherwise become ill from experiencing nonlinear time. He is not the only person who can do this, but he's the only choosing one who uses this power for good. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsWe've left the safehouse—left it behind. I've been asked to come in from the cold, to meet with an ex-employer who has apparently always known that I faked my death, and where I was living. They also seemingly believe that I am indeed from another universe. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesMy therapist: "It's nice to meet you, Nick. I know that you've spoken to others who've not helped much, but I'm here to make sure that you have the tools you need to be healthier. I specialize in treating patients with severe paranoia." // Me: "Dr. No offense, but you're a spy."
Story Quote"She didn’t end up accepting help from Ayata, save for a few minor tasks, and some constructive criticism. If this was going to mean anything, it had to come from Cosette, or he may as well be on a date with Ayata. Was this a date? Would he say as much?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 2
Citrus Contract"That's not my middle name," Dave contends. "And I'm not a choosing one. I'm a chosen one." // "Oh, well, la-dee-da," Buddy jokes. // "Why are you writing this down?" // "It's my vampire diary." // "You're not a vampire." // He shrugs. "Hardly think that matters." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"Why Michigan?" Leonard asks once we're in the car. He parked far away from the safehouse for security reasons. // "I had family here back in my home universe," I reply, "but I don't think I ever mentioned it on my website." // "Yes, you did," Mazin contends. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesDear Doorknobby, we have given you everything you asked for. We have placed you in a great position of power. Now you must give us what we agreed upon. You must decide upon a time for our date by tomorrow. You pick the restaurant, but you pay. From Russia with Love, Putz-Putz.
Story Quote"Tertius stepped forward. 'I’m in too, if you’ll have me,' he announced sheepishly. 'I can erase everyone’s memories. They won’t even know that their friends are gone while they wait for the next bus.' // 'That’s a brilliant idea,' Leona said gratefully." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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3
Citrus Contract"Can we just get on with it?" Dave asks, annoyed. "You wanted an extinct fruit, or something?" // "Oh, we'll get to that," Buddy promises. "First, we need to draft a contract." // "I don't think that's necessary. A verbal contract should suffice." // "It won't." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"Wednesday, March 6, 2024 on your blog, you discussed places that you have lived and visited," Mazin goes on, "including Michigan. You never said if it was Ann Arbor, though." // "I forgot that, and that you have an eidetic memory. And yes, it was Ann Arbor." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesHorror story: My wife always pushed the elevator buttons, but I wanted to once, but it broke my finger, so she made me a golden prosthetic, but then the gold was killing me, but I wouldn't let it go. I said "bury me with my Goldfinger" and she did, then I was a zombie. The end.
Story Quote"For medical reasons, I’m not fit to travel in space. At least, I wasn’t. The restrictions have gradually been eroding, due to excessive need for planetary exodus, and advances in space travel which make it easier to treat at-risk patients off world." #correspondence #fishquotes
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4
Citrus Contract"You gave me what I asked for, and I pay my debts. I'm only a teleporter. I can't escape through time. You'll always be able to find me." // "Sure, but I've been screwed over one too many times by people I thought I could trust. I'm not doing it like that again." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"They didn't find you because of your website," Leonard clarifies. "This is what they do. They knew you didn't die because you've been surviving since you came to this world. And they knew that if you faked your death, your security firm had to be in on it." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesWhen I set out to start making these so-called "Expanded Bond Titles" I didn't do it because I love Bond movies, or even because I hate them. I'm indifferent, and I'm only doing it to show off that I can play on any words, and when I do, I bring the Thunder…Ball's in your court.
Story Quote"Forgiveness is a really strong word, and I’m afraid I’m going to need more time before I can even consider it. That may be all it takes. We could not talk to each other the whole time, but I may one day get over it just because it’s been long enough." #correspondence #fishquotes
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5
Citrus ContractDave sighs. "Fine. I'll sign your contract. Hand it over." // "You think it's that easy?" Buddy questions. "We have to write it together, and then we have to get it notarized." // "There's no such thing as a time traveling notary." // "Wrong again!" he exclaims. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"That was always a vulnerability," Nimue laments. // "It's okay," I say. "It's gonna be okay." // "We can't trust these people," Dutch reasons. // "No, but I can trust Leonard." // "I don't think he's in on it," Mazin begins, "but he may be just as clueless." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI went to Vegas, baby. Las Vegas, New Mexico. It's got buildings and streets, and probably people. I'm not sure as I spent most of my time in a secret underground Casino; "Royale with cheese" was the codeword to get inside. Whoops, I hope they don't kill me for revealing that.
Story Quote"The stray Valkyrie blocked our signal for a week, then flew away. The rest of the Valkyries are still orbiting on their usual path. I suppose I shouldn’t say usual as changing course is sort of their whole thing. But we’re safe from them…for now." #correspondence #fishquotes
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6
Citrus ContractThere IS someone called The Officiant who conducts weddings that transcend linear time, and The Overseer is in charge of large-scale event-correction operations, but Dave is aware of no framework for nonlinear legal precepts. What the hell is Buddy talking about? #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsLeonard calmly pulls over to the side of the highway, and stops the car. "We may be driving on the road that leads to our deaths. Or it may lead to everything we have ever dreamed of. Or it could be nothing. Are ya gonna keep whining about the uncertainty? #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesMe: "I'm here for reincarnation." // Osides: "What makes you worthy? You Only Live Twice if you did something amazing with your first life." // Me: "I once leapt over to catch a fork in mid-air right when it fell off of the counter in the cafeteria." // Osides: "Go on through."
Story Quote"The good news is, of course, that we’re finally here in beautiful Australia. It took us a lot longer than we wanted, but as you’ve suspected, the platform doesn’t move all that fast. Plus, there were some tropical storms that we had to detour around." #correspondence #fishquotes
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7
Citrus ContractBuddy snaps his fingers several times in Dave's face. "Where'd you go, buckaroo Billy? You totally zoned out there." // "It's just something I do sometimes, don't worry about it." He does worry about it. His mind wanders, and he often forgets where he is and why. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsMazin absorbs Leonard's words. "All right, man. Let's get on with it, and see what happens." He looks over at his partner, Nimue. "We're trained to get out of sticky situations, so we'll develop our contingency plans, like we always do, and figure it out." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesWhew, this is gonna be a tough one. It's so specific, and I had never even heard of it until now. But I can do it. Okay. *clears throat*. Yesterday, I, uhhhhhhh…watched a movie called On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Boom, nailed it. Cleverest wordplay yet! Suck on that, haters.
Story Quote"Things were already not as safe as they were a couple hundred years prior. Humans were evidently damaging Earth before they started to do it intentionally to harm each other! I just hope your leaders always exercise caution. Vacuus does have weather." #correspondence #fishquotes
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8
Citrus Contract"Okay, it looks like you're about to go catatonic again," Buddy decides. "Let's get on with this. While you're right that there is technically no choosing one whose self-appointed job it is to handle nonlinear legal concerns, there a few who happen to be lawyers." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsWe continue on our way to a small airport where a private jet appears to be waiting for us on the runway. We drive right up to it like one of us is some kind of billionaire hotshot. Leonard tosses the keys to one of the stoic guards, and heads up the steps. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesThey say that Diamonds Are Forever, but I've developed new technology which will un-diamond any diamond, and turn it into graphite. Now, I know that graphite is an abundant material, but who doesn't want to use a pencil that used to be a diamond and a plank from Noah's Ark?
Story Quote"Cosette certainly doesn’t need her experiences on Hockstep to be broadcast for everyone to see. It is an invasion of privacy. They were all very personal, and she had no idea that she was being recorded. No one is above the law, not even a magical tree." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 9
Citrus ContractDave relents. "Go on and call your little lawyer friend, but if I find out that you're coercing them, or doing anything else untowards here, you and I are gonna make some friction between us, you understand?" // "Like sexually?" Buddy asked. // "Call the lawyer!" #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsWe follow him into the aircraft. The bodyguard who didn't get the car keys steps through behind us, and pulls the stairs up. We take off shortly thereafter. The window partitions do not open. We are not allowed to know where we're going, but it takes all day. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesMy great great grandpappy always used to tell me to "live and let live". He would say it every time we parted, like it was a thought that should be constantly going through my head. One day, he said "Live and Let Die", and told me that that's what he meant to say the whole time.
Story Quote"He didn’t want to get into a real fight either, especially since he would definitely lose. She was the Captain, and her face certainly showed that she was giving him an order in that capacity, instead of as his wife and partner. He nodded respectfully." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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10
Citrus Contract"We don't call him. We go to him." The way Buddy's version of time travel works, these frightening little dark particles come out of the aether, and swarm his target. In this case, that's both himself, and Dave. After the swarm dissipates, they're somewhere else. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsLeonard pulls giant parkas down from an overhead compartment near the front of the jet. We came with coats, but he says we need something stronger. And he's right. It's blistering cold. My top suspects are Russia, Greenland, or somewhere in northern Canada. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI spent eleven years asking for the restroom last night in my dream. People kept giving me answers that were either wrong…or lies. Finally, one guy points, and tells me to speak with The Man with the Golden Gun, who shot me. I woke up having wet and bled the bed. Fun story, eh?
Story Quote"They never told us that these inventions ultimately came from off-world. I hope that it’s in the literature somewhere—and I’m just ignorant as an individual—not that they’re intentionally hiding the truth from us to allow someone else to take credit." #correspondence #fishquotes
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11
Citrus ContractDave and Buddy are in a hallway now. Dave doesn't know what year this is, but the architecture looks rather old. They're standing in front of a door with frosted glass. The sign says JERICHO HAGEN, ESQ. Dave reads it out loud. // "Yep, that's him," Buddy confirms. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsThere is one permanent structure here, which is either an outhouse or a shed. Or—if this is all secret spycraft—an elevator that leads to a massive underground base…with central heating. We don't go there, though. Instead, we walk towards some white tents. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI've never seen The Spy Who Loved Me, but I saw an episode of a TV show called "The Spy Who Really Liked Me". That was the name of the episode, not the show itself. The show was Jake 2.0. Why isn't this funny, you ask? I'M NOT YOUR MONKEY! Some anecdotes are boring! Get over it.
Story Quote"Australia is a big place. Do you have to stay near the dome you were trading with, or is the whole continent fair game? If it’s the second one, then this stipulation feels a bit arbitrary. Maybe they have a reason that makes sense when you hear it." #correspondence #fishquotes
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12
Citrus ContractA man briskly opens the door, and is about to say something, but is shocked and appalled by their appearance. "Get in here," he urges. "This is 1955, you are NOT dressed appropriately." // They comply with his wishes. "I take it that you're Jericho?" Dave asks. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsA small group of people are huddled around a folding table in the tent. You've seen it in movies. One older man turns around when he hears the flap open. "Mr. Fisherman, it's an honor to meet you. I believe you're owed a paycheck." // "How so?" I question. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesThe worst job that I ever had was Moonraker. We're not talking about our moon, Luna, but the one where I worked was a lot like it. I literally raked the entire surface of this thing…and why? Why did they pay me to do this? They didn't. It was a 14.7 million-year practical joke.
Story Quote"The ones that did were either very intelligent and observant, but few and far between, or responsible for destroying the environment themselves, and deliberately withholding pertinent information. Either way, the general population wasn’t hearing it." #correspondence #fishquotes
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13
Citrus Contract"Look," Jericho says. "I'm in this time period as a sort of…penance. I'm trying to get back to traditional law to build an appreciation for what it becomes 150 years from now. I'm really not interested in interacting with you people. Please leave my office. Now." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"When you worked for us, as a janitor," the man continues. "You never collected your final paycheck. It fell through the cracks." // I stare at him. "Sir, I'm rich." // "Correction, you WERE rich. Now you're dead." He stops to sign on a colleague's tablet. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesOne of my followers works for British Intelligence, which is a competing agency, but we're collaborating on a case. She knows who she is. No one else should read this tweet. Blue Tulip, this is For Your Eyes Only: the moneybag is behind Big Ben. NO ONE ELSE SHOULD GO STEAL IT!
Story Quote"My friend who lives up there now has been asking me to take the launch loop into orbit for a visit, and I want to do that, but I also don’t. So much can go wrong. I cannot believe that I used to live on a ship. How did I end up so soft and cowardly?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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14
Citrus Contract"All we need you to do is draw up a boilerplate contract for us. I've hired him to do some work for me, and we need to legalize the details," Buddy promises. // "I wasn't hired for anything, I was coerced," Dave clarifies. // "Well, he didn't need to know that." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"Why are we here, sir?" I ask. // "You don't have to 'sir' me," he insists. "You can call me Vin." // "Because you like cars," Dutch guesses. // Vin is surprised. "Yeah. Most people just assume my full name is Vincent." // Dutch shrugs like it's no big deal. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI've probably only seen four whole Bond movies. I don't remember which ones, but I know none of them was the offensive Octopussy. This isn't meant to be funny, I just think that names of things shouldn't use inappropriate words when they're child-facing. Not everything is a joke.
Story Quote"It wasn’t automatic for me, because the pollutants hide the stars, but it just so happens to be that one of the Mauna Kea observatories will already be looking in the right direction on May 17, so all I’ll have to do is register for remote viewing." #correspondence #fishquotes
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15
Citrus Contract"Uh, I kind of do," Jericho argues. "Illegal activity means that the contract isn't boilerplate. I mean—I'm not gonna do it either way. Do you see what's over there? It's a typewriter…not even an electric one. I hate the 1950s!" // "I can fix that," Buddy says. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsI keep watching Vin quietly until he answers. "We would like to offer you an opportunity." // "An opportunity for what?" Leonard asks. // "You don't know?" I ask Leonard. // "I was told to bring you here," he answers. "I wasn't told why. Almost didn't do it." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesOnce at Staring Contest Camp, we played a game called Never Say Never where one kid would utter the words, then finish the sentence with a command for another kid. I was commanded to rip out my own throat. It was the best risk I ever took because now I'll Never Say Never Again.
Story Quote"It only slows him down to about 99% of realtime. But during this time, Andrei is as hard as a rock. He can’t move, he can’t be moved, and if he’s not lying down when it happens, he’ll become incredibly fatigued while he’s waiting to return to the fray." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 16
Citrus Contract"Wait, no, don't!" Jericho cries, but it's too late. Buddy releases his dark particles, and transports all three of them and the manual typewriter elsewhere. // "Welcome to the year 2487," Buddy declares with great pride in himself. // "This isn't what I meant." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsDutch steps forward. "What would this job entail? And does the offer extend to all of us?" He's uncharacteristically serious, and maybe a little protective of me? // "You'll all be offered jobs, which utilize your unique and respective skills appropriately." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesSuspect: "I grew up in a slaughterhouse. That's all my parents could afford. My window didn't even lead to the outside. It showed me A View to a Kill room where the helpless animals were murdered. That, detective, is why I'm now the Farmer Killer. They didn't give me a choice."
Story Quote"Ramses had installed a coherence gauge, which measured the drive’s readiness factors, boiling them down to a color-coded scale. Red meant that it was too early to make another safe jump. Violet meant that it was fully charged, stable, and ready to go." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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17
Citrus Contract"Mr. Hagen," Buddy begins. "You did not want to be there anymore. You were waiting for your ride home, and you obviously regretted how much time you asked for. I showed up early, and gave you an out. You can complain all you want, but I know that you're grateful." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"I'm not qualified for anything," I reason. "The last job I had with you was as a janitor." // Vin chuckles. "We had no choice. You were trying to stay anonymous, and not applying to higher level jobs. But we all know your potential, and life experiences." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI got in a fight with an ogre six years ago. He punched The Living Daylights out of me. Now I only see the darkness of death. I've asked people to put me out of my misery, but as I've told you, I'm immortal, so it never works. True peace is always within sight, but out of reach.
Story Quote"I never said, but our settlement is not the ideal location for a large telescope, so our main one was built at an outpost several kilometers away. A small team operates there in person while researchers use the data as needed, and allowed, remotely." #correspondence #fishquotes
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18
Citrus ContractJericho sighs, and looks around a bit. "What is this place?" // "My summer home," Buddy says. // "You said something about a contract?" Jericho asks. // "Yeah." Buddy steps over to a bookshelf, and pulls a few pages out from between two books. "Start with these." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"What exactly does your organization do?" I press. // Vin smiles. "When you first came to this universe, you called it boring, right?" // "Sorry about that," I say awkwardly. // He smiles wider. "It's boring because of us. What we do is protect this world." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI only went to the DMV to renew my driver's license, but there was a small mix-up and I ended up with a License to Kill. I don't want to hurt anyone, but one of the requirements for having the license is actually using it. If I refuse…someone else will get a license to kill me.
Story Quote"They don’t have domes, since that would interfere with the views from the telescopes, so they built compartmentalized vestibules to keep the fumes from getting inside the buildings, always keep the doors closed, and only go outside in hazmat suits." #correspondence #fishquotes
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19
Citrus ContractJericho sighs again, and starts looking through the documents that Buddy already prepared. "This says he'll bring your dead daughter back to life if you succeed." // "What?" Dave questions. "It's not possible, I've tried." // "It's possible for me," Buddy claims. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"I don't understand," I say. // Vin picks up his own tablet. "You sign the NDAs, and I'll explain everything. To give you some reason to even consider it, I'm authorized to tell you that visitors from another universe…is not the strangest thing we've seen." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesTo stop me from killing innocent people as a zombie, my wife tried to pour molten gold into my eyes, so I wouldn't be able to see my victims, but I ate her brains before she was able to finish, so now I just walk around with one GoldenEye, and then I found five dollars. The end.
Story Quote"It sounds like most people live under land domes, but you’re on a floating platform, which takes some level of creative thinking. Has anyone ever thought of living in an aerostat? It might not be better—per se—but it could give people more options." #correspondence #fishquotes
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20
Citrus Contract"No," Dave insists. "Ann was killed with the hundemarke. Or rather, she wasn't killed intentionally with it, but she was a casualty when someone had it activated to make another event a fixed moment in time. She can't be saved. I have tried everything…everyone." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsI look back at everyone else. Dutch is shocked. Leonard is apprehensive, so he probably didn't know about this. Nimue and Mazin don't know what to think of it. They're not entirely sure what big of a deal this is. "Are you saying the supernatural is real?" #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesYou can all thank me for the gift of the present. They say that the past no longer exists, and tomorrow will never come, but what they don't realize is that I'm the one who kills the past. I'm the reason it stops existing. I keep trying to kill tomorrow…but Tomorrow Never Dies.
Story Quote"We’re supposed to be fixing it, and if we start treating the bug as a feature, we’ll either not work hard on cleaning it up, or we will, and people will have to leave the aerostats before too long anyway. Neither plan seemed reasonable or rational." #correspondence #fishquotes
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21
Citrus Contract"Have you noticed how unusual my time power is?" Buddy puts forth. "Other people call the little things that I create dark particles. Why do they exist? What is the point? No one else has them. It's because I'm unique. I can get your daughter back, guaranteed." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"That's not a word that we use," Vin says, sitting on the edge of the table. "But that's all I'm at liberty to say…until you sign." He presents us with his tablet again. // Not hesitating, Dutch steps right up, takes it from him, and scribbles on the screen. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI asked my fiancé if he was having reservations about our wedding, and he said that he wouldn't give me up for the world. I smiled, but then he added that The World Is Not Enough. He wouldn't sell me for a dime less than the world AND the moon. He now owns the world and the moon.
Story Quote"It’s true that I never developed relationships as strong as the ones I sometimes see on TV, but I would still consider them my friends. I don’t know why I’ve never talked about them to you, but they were there, and we had fun. Who else was at yours?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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22
Citrus Contract"It's a transporter," Jericho says quietly. // "Huh?" Buddy asks. // "From Star Trek," Jericho goes on. "It atomizes you, then beams them down to the target, and reconstitutes your atoms. In reality, if we could do that, it wouldn't really be you. Just a copy." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsI have to see this through, whatever it is. I take the tablet from Dutch, and sign next to my own name, as does Leonard after me. Nimue and Mazin are still not so sure. // "What happens if they don't sign?" I ask Vin. // "There are a few alternative options." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesSix years ago, I was almost killed, but then I remembered that I still hadn't watched the last three episodes of Castle, so I decided to Die Another Day. I still haven't gotten archivetweet to it. I keep promising my killer that it will be soon, but…I just lost interest in the story.
Story Quote"This is all very overwhelming, but no one says anything out loud. They just exchange looks, and it’s clear that none of them was prepared for what they were getting themselves into. They should have asked for more information before raising their hands." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 23
Citrus ContractJericho drops the papers that Buddy handed him. "He's dead. I'm not really Jericho Hagen. You didn't transport me from the past. You killed him, and then I replaced him as a copy. I have all of his thoughts and memories, so I believe that I'm him…but it's a lie." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman Learns"There are roles within our organization that don't require signing nondisclosure agreements," Vin goes on. "They could do something like that. It would protect them from public scrutiny, and give some meaning back to their lives. […] Or they can sign too." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI forgot that there were two Bond movies with the same title. What should I do, tell the same joke as I did before? I guess comedians tell the same jokes in different cities all the time, right, like when they perform at a new Casino? "Royale with cheese" is still the password.
Story Quote"The Dritewing was the flagship of the Castlebourne fleet, though it had no current crew, and Hrockas had no idea how to start an army, nor a security contingency. He never thought that he might need one, and mercenaries weren’t really a thing anymore." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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24
Citrus ContractBuddy looks over at Dave. "He's obviously having an existential crisis. He doesn't know what he's talking about. What I do isn't just duplication—it's transportation, same as any other time traveler. Jericho, make the contract." // "No." He heads towards the door. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsMazin frowns at his partner. "We agreed to protect them, whatever that entails. Let's sign it, and continue down whatever path this is together." // "Okay," Nimue agrees. She takes the tablet first, and then him. // "Great!" Vin says. "Let's go for a walk." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesI worked at a movie theatre when the 24th Bond film came out. I remember thinking, "what the hell is this movie about?" I watched it several times from the projection booth—which I called my Quantum of Solace—without being able to hear the sound until I was fired for not working.
Story Quote"He’s really good at knowing when someone wants to speak, but is too afraid to interrupt, and will in fact interrupt other people to give the quieter ones their chances. I wish I could be more like him in this regard, always charming and fascinating." #correspondence #fishquotes
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25
Citrus Contract"Don't worry about the contract," Dave says when it looks like Buddy is about to do something to stop Jericho. "I get you your fruit, you give me my daughter. You go back on your word, I come after you. I call Mateo. I don't think you want that." // "No, I don't." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsVin steps out of the tent, and we all follow him. "No, you two stay at camp. Grab some coffee and doughnuts. You already have significant training. You'll jump straight to the testing phase. This will just be for Nick and Dutch, and their handler, Leonard." #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesMy therapist: "I'll say a word, and you'll respond with one word answers only, please." // Me: "Okay." // Therapist: "Woman." // Me: "Boobs." // Therapist: "Keyboard." // Me: "Boobs." // Therapist: "Hiking." // Me: "Boobs." // Therapist: "Skyfall." // Me: "DontthinkIsawthatone."
Story Quote"I don’t have any myself, unless you count watching TV. There’s so much content from the before-fore times, and it’s the easiest thing to do while I’m at work. There’s no collecting up here, and there aren’t many opportunities to make things either." #correspondence #fishquotes
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26
Citrus Contract"You have something I need," Dave goes on, "and you know I would do just about anything to get it. We don't need a physical contract anymore. I don't know why you didn't just tell me all this when we first met. You're not the brightest bulb in the bunch, are you?" #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsNimue and Mazin do stay behind, because Vin is right; they don't need training. But what kind of training are Dutch and I going to be going through, and why here? I'm freezing my fingers off. I know a lot of people say that they hate the cold, but I VERY do. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesIn an alternate reality, James Bond is an iconic American spy franchise. So instead of Spectre, they call it Specter. Instead of Q, they call him Line. Instead of driving on the left side, they drive on the correct. Instead of a vodka martini, he drinks a Jägerbomb with Red Bull.
Story Quote"Ya gotta stay fit, and just hanging from a pull-up bar or doing a few push-ups is boring. I used to play a little football as a kid, before the gases, but I never got back into it in the latter years. I don’t miss it, and have no plans on going back." #correspondence #fishquotes
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27
Citrus Contract"You're shocked and confused, so I'm gonna let that one slide. Just go get me my fruit." He lifts his hands to wave Dave to some unknown location." // "Where are you sending me?" Dave asks. // "To a time when some people still used toilet paper instead of bidets." #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsI gotta say, as terribly freezing as this area is, it's quite beautiful. It looks completely untouched by man. I'm happy to be back to hiking, which I used to love to do. We walk for several kilometers, hardly saying a word. Then we get in a couple of canoes. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesMe: "I feel like I'm wasting my life. All I do is sit around, rewatching TV shows, and writing dumb jokes for Twitter that no one ever reads." // My therapist: "Learn to prioritize the things that matter. Do you have time to die?" // Me: "No, I'm so busy! There's No Time to Die!"
Story Quote"That would take a lot of dedication on your part, and we don’t even know if you would like it. You might be annoyed to see those people taken to those beautiful remote locations where the air is pure, and clean enough even where they normally live." #correspondence #fishquotes
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28
Citrus ContractBuddy releases the scary dark particles from his hand, and banishes Dave from this place. Once the room stops spinning, Dave looks around to find that Buddy did not come along with him, but that doesn't mean he's alone. He has incidentally attracted an audience. #CitrusContract
Nick Fisherman LearnsWe paddle the canoes across the lake. We move slow in deference to the wind. On the other side, Vin makes me and Dutch remove our parkas, and our jackets, throws them in the canoes, and orders Leonard to leave with him. We're on our own. And we're gonna die. #NickFishermanLearns
Expanded Bond TitlesEon assured me that the title for the next installment in the James Bond franchise would be available by now, but it looks like they screwed me over…AGAIN. I'll just have to make one up for this joke. Let's see, what will they likely call it? I'm thinking "Golden Death Bullet".
Story Quote"If you’re lookin’ for a story about a regular person who has to beat the odds despite having no clue what he’s doing, then you’ll probably like The Winfield Files. It’s a series of twelve books, and there’s even a TV adaptation with twelve seasons." #correspondence #fishquotes
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| March | ||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday |
| 1
Citrus ShieldDave Seidel was sent time traveling to the middle of some town square, apparently at the local farmer's market. Several people are staring at him, jaws on the ground, having presumably witnessed the miracle. Others have become interested since his sudden appearance. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersDutch and I are in the middle of nowhere. It's freezing, there's no shelter, and we're not wearing very much. We don't have any supplies. It's not like I keep a matchbook or knife in my pocket. Those are the two most important things in a survival situation. #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMy GF: "You can translate it." // Me: "I don't remember high school French." // GF: "Try!" // Me: "Ugh. 'The others, they're dead. They're dead. It killed them—it killed them all.'" // GF: "Is that what they're really saying?" // "Me: "No, that's from LOST! I don't speak French!"
Story Quote"How could they not know? They have all been living here for the last half century, and they never even felt like something was different? Now they need to question everything about their whole lives. Is anything in the universe what they thought it was?" #salmonverse #fishquotes
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||||||
| 2
Citrus ShieldAs Dave is scanning the crowd, vamping for an explanation for his teleportation with a smile and some nodding, he catches sight of Buddha's hand citron at a fruit booth. That's why Buddy sent him here. But these people don't have a monopoly on them. He can bug out. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersDutch pulls me into a bear hug. "Body heat is great," I begin, "but it is not gonna last. We can't walk like this, and we need to find and-or build a shelter ASAP." // "No, this is a goodbye hug. I'm not gonna make it out here. I barely survived Michigan." #NickFishermanLingers
Good QuestionIt's 2025. Do you know where your democracy is?
Story Quote"One of them started lasering into his neck, and worked its way down his spine. Other incisions were made on his wrists, shoulders, ankles, the back of his knees, and even his mons pubis. The cuts hurt, but the implantation of the devices hurt even more." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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3
Citrus ShieldOne last thing, Dave catches English on the booth signs, and takes a guess that they're in California. Buddha's hand isn't sold everywhere. "Thank you, ladies and germs, you can catch me in Las Vegas on Mondays and Tuesdays at the Starbound Lounge!" He bows deeply. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"No," I disagree, "we can do this. We're humans, and if there's one thing that animals have that humans have lost…it's strong survival instincts." // "Great pep talk." // "I mean, it leads us to underestimating our skills. But we can get those skills back!" #NickFishermanLingers
Random NothingMy wife's name is Anne Daykroyd.
Story Quote"Since it takes so terribly long for each message to cross the interplanetary void between us, I think it makes the most sense for us to read a whole book, or watch a whole season, in between letters. It will all still probably take quite a long time." #correspondence #fishquotes
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4
Citrus ShieldReal magicians can't literally disappear into thin air. It always involves some misdirect. So Dave quickly pulls his hands into his sleeves, turtles his head into his jacket, and teleports away naked. Not every teleporter can leave their clothes behind like that. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersDutch releases me. "Okay, boss. What do we do first?" // I look up. "I've never understood how to measure time just by looking at the sun. But we have to assume that nightfall is right around the corner. Let's start lookin' around, for a cave, or something." #NickFishermanLingers
Dumb Ditty🎵English loo! // Gotta get into this English loo! // I'll wreck the toilet, ya know it's true! // Vi-vi-vi-vi Vindaloo! // Finally tasted her vindaloo! // I really wish I could've refused // But rejecting her cooking would have been rude! // Oh my, this meal was my Waterloo!🎵
Story Quote"To answer your question, our relationship with the dome remains strong. Generally speaking, the immigrants aren’t having significant issues, though it’s a culture shock for many of them. In some ways, we’re different, but in others, we’re the same." #correspondence #fishquotes
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5
Citrus ShieldHe's outside of Lebanon, Kansas now. He jumped to a wooded area to avoid being spotted, but there's no one here anyway. It's still fairly early for tourists, though the sun is higher, providing further evidence that he was in California before. He needs some help. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"We'll have to split up, but don't stray farther than shouting distance from each other" I go on. "A skim search will allow us to cover more ground. Don't be thorough, be quick. You go clockwise while I go counterclockwise. We'll rendezvous on that ridge." #NickFishermanLingers
Language JokePeeta peed on the pita.
Story Quote"We’re both being studied against our will. I think that’s what really endeared him to me, and honestly, this street seems to go both ways. He has had a much harder life than I realized, and I think that he also sometimes wishes that he were on Earth." #correspondence #fishquotes
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6
Citrus ShieldThis is literally the center of the country. Right under this spot, a woman called The Concierge runs a large facility called The Constant. Time travelers can come here when they need aid, direction, or just a rest. Dave…needs clothes. Hopefully, she'll let him in. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersWe go our separate ways, and start looking for a pre-existing shelter. "Gather firewood!" I shout to him. We might as well feed two birds with one worm while we're at it. I go halfway around a circle, but don't find any safe place to get out of the elements. #NickFishermanLingers
Hurtful Stuff"Wherever you go, there you are" has such meaning, and it's not meaningless. Nor is it devoid of meaning, or holds no meaning. It's so full of meaning, and it's meaningful. It means a lot to me, because of what it means, which is not that it means nothing; it means something.
Story Quote"A small group of brave people during the toxic buildup dedicated their lives to preserving humanity’s knowledge. Some regions have information that others don’t, but only due to oversights and lapses, not a concerted effort to hide the truth from us." #correspondence #fishquotes
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7
Citrus ShieldDave runs into the tiny chapel that is secretly also an elevator to The Constant. "Hello? Dave Seidel, requesting respite." There is no set protocol, not even a doorbell. But she knows he's here, and she'll either answer, or she won't. "I really just need clothes." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersIt looks like Dutch is erring on the side of caution, and hasn't gone around his half of the circle quite as fast, so I just keep going to meet off-center. In the spot where we do run into each other is exactly what we were looking for. It's a scary cave. #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”My neighbor's smoke alarm has been going off for the last six years, and not gonna lie, it's starting to get on my nerves.
Story Quote"You’re my brother, which makes it awkward, but we also don’t know each other very well yet, so that makes it awkward in a different way. I’ll spare you the details no matter what, but please let me know if you would rather not hear about it at all." #correspondence #fishquotes
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8
Citrus ShieldIn the back corner is a shelf that contains a comment box for visitors. It magically rotates to the left into another dimension to be replaced by an identical shelf, except that this one has a set of clothes on it, as requested. "Okay, thanks!" He takes the clothes. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"You had a thing about spiders," Dutch points out. // "I still do. Even when I was immortal, I did not like them." // "It's all we have." // "Yeah," I agree. "Survival is everything right now." I drop my collection of firewood. "Let's make some friction." #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”Last year, I was going to make a KIND OF offensive joke here, but I had to push it back a year. Then I come to realize that it shouldn't be done on a Saturday, so I tried to push it to 2026. But THAT..is a Sunday! So just forget it. You'll have to cancel me for something else!
Story Quote"Slightly higher, a boy is hanging onto the central column, holding on with one hand and two feet, like a monkey. His other hand shields his eyes from the sun. He’s searching for something in the opposite direction of who Selma imagines to be his sister." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 9
Citrus Shield"How much do I owe ya?" Dave jokes once he's done dressing. No response. He hasn't been invited down, and he probably won't be if clothes are his only problem. But they're not, are they? "I need to get a citrus to the future. Any ideas?" The elevator begins to move. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"Do you know how to make a fire without matches or a lighter?" Dutch asks. // "Cricket and Claire taught me a thing or two. But understanding the mechanics of starting a friction fire is not the same as accomplishing it. I've never actually done it before." #NickFishermanLingers
Response ContestI'm offering a reward of $75,000 to anyone who can prove to me that clouds exist within the next 30 seconds. That's 30 seconds from the moment that this tweet is posted; not from whenever you happen to see it. I'm waiting…
Story Quote"She spent most of the time taking the slingdrive apart, and putting it back together, as if the task alone was enough to provide her with answers. She didn’t even really seem to examine the parts, or anything. She only needed to go through the motions." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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10
Citrus ShieldDave takes the five-kilometer trip down to the Constant in the elevator. There's a way to allow him to just skip all of this waiting, and teleport to the bottom, but the Concierge sets limits. He has never met her, but she has her rules. Finally, he makes it there. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"Go find a sinewy thing, like the drawstring of a pair of sweatpants, or maybe a vine. We'll be trying several things before something finally works." // "Unless we die first," Dutch points out enthusiastically. // "That's right," I say, matching his energy. #NickFishermanLingers
Random NothingWhen the name Carolina was invented, it went a little somethin' like this: "Caroline, uhh…what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, I hate your name. It doesn't have enough syllables." I'm creative. This is a creative little anecdote I came up with. Can I be a famous author now? Pleeeease!
Story Quote"Others are running low. The funny thing is, as helpful as it is to the Australian dome for us to take those people, it’s actually good for us too, because that is what we need. We want to establish our own nation, and to do that, we need citizens." #correspondence #fishquotes
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11
Citrus Shield"Chauffeur," she says with a nod when the doors open. // "Concierge," he replies. // "Let me guess, you're mixed up with a man who calls himself Buddha." // "We just call him Buddy," Dave clarifies. // "Right. Well, as you know, transporting citrus is impossible." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI start to organize the sticks that we collectively collected, by size. While I'm at it, I look for one that we can use for a bow drill. I'm not sure exactly which kind will work best. I suppose my only choice is to use my instincts, and hope for the best. #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryI once met Evelyn Waugh, but I never met Evelyn Waugh.
Story Quote"I won’t even get into population control mandates, but the only things keeping us from bursting at the seams are the people who do the transportation jobs like we used to have, and those building new settlements, or expanding preexisting habitats." #correspondence #fishquotes
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12
Citrus Shield"That's what I told him," he agrees. "But I have to find a way. This facility is, like, 2,000 years old. It's not constantly full. Haven't you ever had time to wonder why citrus explodes when it hits the time vortex, or whatever?" // "Well…no. I've not." she says. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersEverything's frozen here, and there are no vines. At least none that holds up to Dutch's stress test. We need this fire as soon as possible, and it's going to take us forever just to make our first sparks. We take off our shoelaces to use those for the cord. #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryDark matter isn't actually dark; it's white. It's produced in black holes and neutron stars when the galaxy breaks down non-baryonic particles during low hydrogen levels, such as during exercise. We should really be calling it galactic acid.
Story Quote"It’s really gross, but this is where pretty much all of our human waste goes. We used to use some of it for radiation shielding in our habitats, but we almost exclusively use a special fungus for that instead now, though that does feed on our waste." #correspondence #fishquotes
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13
Citrus Shield"Look," the Concierge goes on, "I let you down here to give you some advice. Give up. Whatever he has over you, let it go." // "He has my daughter," Dave interrupts. They both go silent before he continues. "I have to get him his damn fruit. I don't have a choice." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI tie our shoelaces to each other, and then I pick up the stick that I chose to use for the bow drill, and then I turn the stick around, and look at it at different angles. And then I look over at Dutch. "Yeah, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, sorry." #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryI'm trying this new weight loss regimen. You can eat whatever you want during a period of eight hours, and you can sleep for eight hours. For the other eight hours in the day, you literally have to run the entire time.
Story Quote"I know that it’s kind of an odd request, but if we aren’t odd, then what are we, right? I feel like I’m doing my rambling thing again, but worse than usual, so I think I’m gonna call it a night. You can disregard everything I’ve said in this letter." #correspondence #fishquotes
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14
Citrus ShieldThe Concierge sighs, saddened by Dave's explanation. "I can't take sides. It's not part of the deal," she laments. "So you didn't hear it from me…" // "Yeah?" Dave asks. "Go on." // All I'll say is mu-metal." // "Mu-metal?" // "Mu-metal," she repeats cryptically. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"Can you make fire without a bow drill?" Dutch asks. // "Absolutely!" I say enthusiastically. "But not before we freeze to death." // "I keep bumping up against that too." // "Luckily, the attempt to make fire alone will warm us up." // "Let's get on it!" #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”I saw two really old people full-on making out in the park yesterday, and I said, "gross! Those two are Nazis." They were also Nazis, I forgot to say that part.
Story Quote"Had things gone more smoothly here—had Condor and I lived more stable lives—the insights taken from this research could have helped humanity better understand how humans adapt and survive in the black. Space travel will only increase in the future." #correspondence #fishquotes
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15
Citrus ShieldDave looks back at the elevator. "Can you lift the teleportation blocker?" // "Just for egress," she agrees. "You can stay for a night, but once you leave, I won't let you back down." // "Thanks for your help, ma'am." // "Danica," she says just before he disappears. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersEven without my jacket and the parka, I'm still wearing three layers on top. I remove my t-shirt, and give it to Dutch for added protection, claiming that I need better maneuverability, but really, it's just that this is all my fault…and my responsibility. #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”Big news: I just found religion. It was in the back of the pantry. I had to throw it out. It went bad years ago.
Story Quote"They were forced to negotiate in the Rock Meetings. The sparks of conflict never ignited the flames of war, but Ingrid never managed to wrest control over a whole universe either. That certainly would have been nice to see written in the history books." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 16
Citrus ShieldIt's the year 2077, yet good old-fashioned brick and mortar libraries still exist. They have a lot more computers and 3D printers than they used to, but the dusty books are still in the stacks. "Mu-metal," Dave says under his breath. "What is that?" // "An alloy." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI don't have a knife to cut a notch in the wood that I'm rubbing the stick against to start a fire, but there are plenty of rocks around. I begin to dig into the plank, struggling to pull out the splinters with my numb fingers. Well. This will have to do. #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryWhen I poop, I just sit there and poop. I don't do anything else. Just two or three hours of pooping, and staring at the wall in front of me. I'm thinking of installing a fun house mirror to make it a more interesting experience.
Story Quote"Romana took off her jacket, and plopped it over the back of a chair as she was walking towards a wall. The door of a standing pod slid open on its own, and she stepped up into it as she spun around 540 degrees like a ballerina. She smiled at her father." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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17
Citrus ShieldA youngish woman is standing near the book drop-off slot, holding her arms behind her back. She has a sticker on her chest with an image of an owl reading a book. Above it is her name, Rochelle, and below the owl is the word VOLUNTEER. // "What was that?" Dave asks. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI place the stick between my hands, and start to spin it back and forth. I have to press down hard, which causes my hands to slide down, which means I have to stop every couple of seconds to go back up to start at the top again. There has to be a better way. #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMe: "I always feel fatter on Tuesdays and Thursday. I don't understand why. It's so consistent." // My mother: "Well, do you do anything different on those days, maybe a different diet?" // Me: "No, nothing's different at all. I just consistently wear a different pair of pants."
Story Quote"I’ve attached my first draft of the letter so you can tell me what you think about it—maybe proofread it, and scribble in some notes in the margins. Don’t show it to anyone yet, send it back, and then I’ll make my final decision. I’m still not sure." #correspondence #fishquotes
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18
Citrus Shield"Mu-metal," Rochelle repeats. "It's an alloy. That's all I remember about it from school, and that it has cool properties, but I don't remember what they are." // "Do you think I could ever maybe…buy a box made out of the stuff?" // She shrugs. "Let's go check." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersWe have two people here. What I need is for Dutch to hold onto the top of the spinny stick with a rock or something, and keep it from falling down. My hands might still slip, but at least I can let go, and it will be waiting for me once I regain my position. #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMinister: "And you? Would you like to share how you've seen God work in mysterious ways?" // Fourteen-Year-Old Me: "Yes. Uh…yeah, hi, yeah, I used to be mad at him for giving me allergies, but it turned out to be a great excuse for why there are so many tissues in my trashcan."
Story Quote"My suggestions are very minor, so it’s up to you whether to accept them. That also goes for whether to even send it or not. I won’t cloud your decision any further. It’s not like people will be mad at me if you decline. Both worlds will keep turning." #correspondence #fishquotes
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19
Citrus ShieldRochelle leads him over to a computer that's kind of in a secluded area. It's not hidden, but no one else is around. "I'm going to need to see your ID." // He doesn't have any to speak of, and doesn't really belong here. // "I'm kidding, Mr. Seidel." // "Wait, huh?" #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"The beach!" Dutch exclaims. "There must be a rock over there that's how we need it. Wouldn't you think rocks that lived their lives underwater would be better to hold a stick down?" // I shrug. I really should have paid more attention to Cricket's lessons. #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryI was kicked out of my women's studies class in college. They didn't want us to learn all their secrets back then. I mean, they still don't, but now they know how to have secret classes just for them too. Was this meant to be funny, Past!Nick?
Story Quote"In the past, a fair market encouraged healthy competition—which ideally makes things better for consumers—but certain legislative changes led to loopholes in regulatory oversight. They weren’t competing anymore, they were fighting. They were killing." #correspondence #fishquotes
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20
Citrus Shield"It's stitched on your shirt," Rochelle explains. // Dave looks down. He's wearing a white tunic and white pants, both with blue trim. The Concierge provided them. He didn't look closely. He is now. "Why the hell did she do that?" // "Who? The Concierge?" // "WHAT?" #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersDutch runs off to find a rock. I keep trying to spark a flame, confident that it will never work. He comes back and asks me to close my eyes. I comply, because I'm exhausted. Before he can tell me to open them again, I can hear, and feel the heat of, a fire. #NickFishermanLingers
Random Nothing. @ZacharyLevi are you coming to the toga party? Don't bother answering. I'm sure you're at a Nazi rally, or a lynching, or whatever disgusting things you King Dumpster worshipers do. I wrote the original referential "joke" before I knew the real you. You can go kick rocks.
Story Quote"Thinking on it now, though, maybe there was something between them. Maybe she was never a babysitter at all, but a girlfriend. They didn’t tell me her last name, so I can’t look her up, and I’m afraid to ask. I have never otherwise known him to date." #correspondence #fishquotes
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21
Citrus ShieldShe smirks. "You think you're the first time traveler to stroll in here wearing standard dress of guests who stay in The Constant?" // "Are you one of us?" // She shakes her head. "No, but I knew one when I was a kid. It intrigued me. I started looking for others." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"How did you do that?" I ask, watching the fire grow larger. // Dutch presents a silver lighter. "I'm guessing that Leonard left it behind? He doesn't want us to die out here." // "No, and he would have broken the rules. We can never tell anyone." "Agreed." #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMe: "What the hell is this? I didn't ask for this." // My dumb assistant: "Yes, you did. You said, 'get me a Coca Cola from Florida.'" // Me: "No, I said get me Pensacola. Pensacola, Florida. You were supposed to buy the whole city for me. Now Elon's gonna get his bid in first."
Story Quote"You were telling me about how you used to get sick as a child. Could you give me more details about what your signs and symptoms were? Could you, maybe…ask your father about it too? I don’t want to be pushy, but I think we need to know the truth." #correspondence #fishquotes
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22
Citrus ShieldIt's kinda true that, once you know about time travel, you start noticing the clues. You see people who look just a little out of place. People come out of restrooms who never went in. Still, it's quite the coincidence that Dave should walk into Rochelle's library. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersWe watch the fire for a bit, appreciating the warmth more than ever before, and adding wood to it as necessary to make it grow. But what we really need is water. "What now, boss?" Dutch asks. // "Dig a hole, fill it up." // "With what?" // "Bark," I answer." #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryI don't only have a muffin top, but also a muffin bottom. I woke up the other day to find my legs fused together, with these weird ridges going all the way down them. I don't know what they are, but now I wake up every day wrapped in really thin paper. I taste like chocolate.
Story Quote"Someone—it’s unclear who; perhaps Hogarth herself—replicated this ability in everyone. Now they all respawn. It’s relatively rare, because they’re kind of living in a utopia, so it’s not like people are dropping like flies, but it’s a nice contingency." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 23
Citrus Shield"I can see that you're worried," Rochelle says. "I think it was one of your seers who told me to volunteer at this library. I suppose I'm here to help you. So let's get working on figuring out what mu-metal is. What do you need it for?" // "As shielding," Dave says. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersDutch actually did find a rock on the shore, so he uses it to scrape and peel bark off from the skinny white trees that are all around. I'm using my stick to dig a hole. The ground is frozen, so it's not easy, but that lighter has saved us a ton of energy. #NickFishermanLingers
NanostoryI was going to make a joke about Sydney Sweeney being my new CIA handler, but I don't really hear about her anymore. It seems that she's left the zeitgeist. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I hide from all news these days because it is INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING.
Story Quote"He argued that everyone was entitled to at least a little privacy. The team didn’t have many opportunities while spending nearly every day together, so they had to find small corners or moments which belonged only to them. The two of them found theirs." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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24
Citrus Shield"Shielding for what?" Rochelle asks. // "A citrus. A guy wants me to bring one to him in the future." // "Why would you need shielding for that?" // "Wull…it will explode without it." // She looks at him quizzically for a moment. "We're talking about fruit, right?" #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI finish digging the hole, and Dutch lines it with bark. It should keep the water from leaking down, and soaking into the soil. We've heated these stones, which we'll use to boil the water. "Wait! How do we get the water into the hole?" // "Ah, crap!" I cry. #NickFishermanLingers
Random NothingI'm working on a new documentary called "Supre Me". It's where I eat pizza every day for a month, and see what happens. The rule is if they ask if I want them to supre it, I have to say yes. And if they ask me to get high, I have to headbutt them. Another dumb joke. Sorry, folks.
Story Quote"Whenever I was showing signs of my illness again, she slipped me medicine—often hidden in the chicken noodle soup—and then I got better. She had no clue that it was hereditary, however, I’m still mad, because he should have said something recently." #correspondence #fishquotes
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25
Citrus Shield"Yes, it's a rule," he begins to explain. "Citrus can't experience nonlinear time. No one understands why, and no one has ever found an exception." // She breathes deeply. "Well, all right then. Let's find a mu-metal box to protect it from such a sticky situation." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersWe built the fire here so it's close to the shelter. We dug the boiling pit near the fire so we won't have to roll the hot stones too far. But we have no receptacles to transport the water from the lake, or we wouldn't have needed the pit in the first place! #NickFishermanLingers
Language JokeNew York? More like New DORK? Am I RIGHT, LA? No? Wow, tough crowd. Crickets. Not to brag—swear to God—but I told that joke IN New York, and it did NOT go over well. Sooo, THAT'S a thing! But seriously, I love NYC, they're great…NOT! Thanks, that's my time! Tip your waitresses!
Story Quote"Many of the older people here who left connections behind have found those connections since severed, due to death or outdated information, probably because of the collapse of society. They appreciate hearing from someone, even if it’s not all great." #correspondence #fishquotes
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26
Citrus ShieldRochelle finds out for Dave that there might be a reason why Buddy sent him to this time period. He must know mu-metal's potential. They're practically giving it away in Geneva. Not that it matters much, it would be accessible any time in the last several decades. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"It's okay, I have something," Dutch claims when I get upset. He runs back into the woods, and returns with more bark, but it's in a pretty long sheet, and when he folds it just so, it's shaped like a bowl. You have to hold it together, but it should work. #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMe: *publishes a book* *gets famous* // Girl who rejected me in high school: "It's nice to see you. We should have a drink, and catch up." // Me: "You can look me up on Wikipedia, and I don't care what you've been up to."
Story Quote"Have they done studies on it? Do space colonists have weakened immune systems because they’re not exposed to random environmental foreign contaminants, or whatever? Perhaps someone should be comparing twins for this instead of behavioral differences." #correspondence #fishquotes
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27
Citrus ShieldA local vendor is selling mu-metal boxes. Dave doesn't need anything fancy, but he reckons it ought to be thick. This is only a test to see if there's any merit to the Concierge's suggestion that it may be able to transport citrus. Rochelle orders a drone delivery. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersI carefully hold onto the bowled up bark and dip it into the lake. It's not enough to fill the pit on its own, especially not since I do drop some, but it only takes a few trips back and forth. We roll the hot rocks into the water and start it boiling. Whew. #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”I've had this book since the 1970s, which is weird, because it was written in 1982, and I was born in 1987.
Story Quote"We have garment fabricators like you here, but it was a change for me, wearing new clothes. In the past, when we needed replacements, we had to trade for them at whatever market we came across, or even scavenge them from the ruins of the old world." #correspondence #fishquotes
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28
Citrus ShieldA few hours later, the mu-metal box has arrived at the library. Dave is about to leave with it when Rochelle stops him. "I paid for that." // "Yeah, I know where you are," he says. "I'll find a way to pay you back." // "You can do it right now. Take me with you." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersThe pit is pretty big, so it takes a few minutes to stone boil it, but it gets there. As soon as we see bubbles, Dutch rolls them back out, we wait for it to cool down, and then we drink. The water is dirty, but it's the best I have ever tasted in my life. #NickFishermanLingers
“Joke”I'm a terrible liar. I couldn't lie my way out of a paper bag. I would probably do something stupid, like rip it.
Story Quote"I bet they were indeed studying the physiological differences between us, living in vastly different environments, or at least they were trying to. We’ve mentioned that it makes little sense, trying to study anything in fraternal twins, but whatever." #correspondence #fishquotes
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29
Citrus ShieldHe's used to time travel being a form of payment in his world, so her request isn't out of left field. "All right. But I have touch you." // "Yeah, I get it," she agrees. // He takes hold of her shoulders, and teleports them both to California. It's a citrus farm. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersNow that we're not going to die of thirst—or from some waterborne pathogen from raw water—we can pack it in for the night. We sadly put out the fire, crawl into the shallow cave in the rock wall, and try not to think about the spiders that are lurking there. #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMe: "Don't tell me what to do." // My CIA handler: "Don't tell me what to do." // Me: "I didn't tell you what to do. YOU told ME what to do. How did I tell YOU what to do?" // My CIA handler: "You told me what to do too when you told me not to tell you what to do."
Story Quote"The tree laughs again at the dumb children. 'Is that the point of life? To be controlled?' He reaches up to swipe the scene away entirely, flinging the view across the lands—out of the pocket where the garden once stood—somewhere away from its borders." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 30
Citrus ShieldDave picks the Buddha's hand citron that's nearest to him, throws it in the box, and teleports about five meters away from Rochelle. He takes a deep breath before opening it to find that it has exploded, just as these things tend to do. // "Try again," she suggests. #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman LingersIn the morning, we wake up, and do it all again. There's no way to carry the water with us, so we drink up as much as possible. When we're ready, we circumnavigate the lake, and retrace our steps. I think we get little off track, but we make it back to base. #NickFishermanLingers
Random NothingI wore a cummerbund at my wedding. My fiancée did not. When she walked up on stage, so graceful and gorgeous, I shouted at her, "how many cummerbunds are YOU holding right now? Zero! It's one bund to none, son! Tell 'em, Kevin [my best man]". She left me at the altar. #worthit
Story Quote"He put an arm around her shoulders, and used his other hand to control her interface. A video popped up. 'Hi. I’m a virtual avatar, presenting in the form of my creator, Ramses Abdulrashid. Let me show you how your new EmergentSuit works!' He muted it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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31
Citrus ShieldHe shakes his head. "It's not gonna work. I don't understand why the Concierge would lead me astray." // "Are you The Chauffeur?" comes a voice from behind him. // "Who are you?" he asks. // "You bought one of my boxes? I'm Jesimula Utkin. But you can call me Mu." #CitrusShield
Nick Fisherman Lingers"How did you fare?" Vin asks. "Did you make a friction fire?" // I'm about to lie, but I chicken out. I toss the lighter to Leonard. "Sorry. We couldn't do it." // Vin smiles. "The archivetweet's mine. You passed the honesty test. Now let's start your training." #NickFishermanLingers
Fake ConversationMe: "Hi, I'm Nick. What's your name." // Girl at mixer: "It's…" *sighs* "It's Fynnefuf." // Me: "Oh my God." // Fynnefuf: "Yeah, I know…" // Me: "That's such a great name, I love it."
Story Quote"I’m mostly there in a supervisory role. The machines aren’t hard to operate, but rather than training everyone who needs clothes, they only worry about making sure that I know them, and I make sure that nothing gets screwed up. It’s pretty low-key." #correspondence #fishquotes
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| April | ||||||
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| Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday |
| 1
Citrus Bubble"Mu?" Dave questions. "Your name is Mu, and you sell mu-metal boxes?" // "It's just a side hustle," Jesi explains. "Kind of a joke, really." // "How did you find us here?" Rochelle asks her. // "My friend, Ophir can find anyone—anywhere, anywhen—and send me to 'em." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI've been training for six months. I've learned everything from covert operations to hand-to-hand combat, to firearms. I'm actually not a bad fighter, though I lacked strength and speed. That's what they've been focusing more on than usual; strength training. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostorySomeone screwed up when they were repaving our parking lot, which led them to jackhammering both entrances at the same time. We've been trapped here for days. It's a highly secured building, so it's all fenced off. Please send more anchovies, and black licorice, if you have it.
Story Quote"He used the code for new trade opportunities. He really shouldn’t be looking for those since we’re preoccupied with Australia at the moment, and it wouldn’t make any sense for him to fly all the way to Eastern Seaboard, U.S.A. while we’re down under." #correspondence #fishquotes
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2
Citrus Bubble"You're a time traveler?" Rochelle presses. "Or do you just know them, like me?" // "I make bubbles," Jesimula replies, squinting at her. "Do you know Dalton Hawk?" // Rochelle is very surprised. "Uh, he was my first. I mean—I don't mean…" // "I get what you mean." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesYes, it sounds like I've been training to be a super secret agent, but not exactly. The bosses knew that my personality will just never lend itself to spycraft. I can learn the physical stuff, but I can't pretend to be anyone else. I can't…manipulate people." #NickFishermanLoses
Joke, Guys. Guys, It's a JokeAbout half of @taylorswift13's songs are garbagio, and the other half are ALSO garbagio. Fight me. Literally. I wanna feel ALIVE!
Story Quote"I don’t know what I would have done if I lived in the kind of world that I read about in some of the classics. The tales are fascinating, but they take place in mundane settings. If you were privileged, you got an education, and pursued your dreams." #correspondence #fishquotes
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3
Citrus Bubble"In another timeline, we had our eye on Dalton," Jesi begins to explain. "We thought he may have had some much-needed perspective for a project that we were working on, having lived multiple timelines. We ended up not needing him, but I remember reading his file." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesToday is a big deal, though I could not tell you exactly why it's so important. I graduated from the academy last week. Now they're apparently going to explain what I've been training for, and show me how this world is less boring than I initially believed. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”The rest of the world is quantifiably more empathetic than we are in this country. Anywhere else, they only expect you to walk 0.6213711922373 miles in someone else's shoes.
Story Quote"I know he’ll have already left, but remember to tell dad to be careful. I’m sure you always say something to that effect, but a lot has changed since he last saw your neighbor. He could be dangerous, even if he had nothing to do with our separation." #correspondence #fishquotes
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4
Citrus Bubble"Hm," Rochelle says. "What did you mean, you make bubbles?" // "Time bubbles," Jesi begins to clarify. "I can slide backwards or forwards at different rates of subjective time. I also fool around a bit with entropy." // Dave's ears perk up. "Entropy. Are you sure?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI've not seen Nimue or Mazin in a long time. They had to go through some training too, but since they already had military and security backgrounds, we were on entirely different tracks. Leonard was too, but I run into him more. We are all here together now. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryAs I always say, happy life, happy wife, because my happiness is all that matters, and she's only here to serve me. I told this joke to Gemini, and it took offense. If it offends you too, I'll tell you what I told it, which is YOU'RE JUST A COMPUTER PROGRAM, YOU'RE NOT REAL!
Story Quote"To crouch there on the edge of the colorful garden, smiling up at the sun. We don’t have a sun here, so I suppose just about anything outdoors would be amazing. I do yoga too, so I’m flexible, and don’t have any problem being on my hands and knees." #correspondence #fishquotes
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5
Citrus Bubble"Yeah," Jesi says. "I can heal people. Or rather UNwound them." // "That's why the Concierge led me to you," Dave decides. // "That ol' broad? How's muh girl doin'?" Jesi jokes. // "She's hoping I figure this out. Do you think you can get a citrus to the future?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesVin walks in, Dutch in tow. Dutch didn't last long with his field training, and ended up pivoting to the analyst track instead. He's holding a tablet, and focusing on it, but is still able to navigate the steps and hallways, and properly greet the rest of us. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingI think it's time to elect a 35-year-old president. No, I'm not talking about myself. It's too late for me, I'm 37. We need some young blood up in this piece. Enough of these fogies. I don't know why I wrote this. It's not a good joke, and it's not topical. Whatever. Let it ride.
Story Quote"Storm considers the options. They could go through with this and risk the timeline, as well as their own lives, or they could cut their losses, and leave the magnolia in the past. This won’t be an easy decision, so she decides to not make it right away." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 6
Citrus BubbleJesi looks around at the Buddha's hand citron. "Oh, is THAT what you're trying to do?" // "Have YOU ever tried it?" Dave poses. // "No, never," she admits. "Someone told me the rule when I was a kid, and I never gave it much thought. I might as well, though, huh?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Thank you all for coming," Vin says. "It's time you all know the truth about how the world works." // "What is it?" I ask. "Aliens? Robots? Robot aliens? Invaders from the future? The past? Another dimension?" // "Bingo!" Dutch says. // "Really?" I question. #NickFishermanLoses
Fake Conversation"You're so full of yourself!" my Promised One accused. // "No, I'm not!" I contended. // "Yeah, you are," she insisted. // "You're right, I am," I conceited.
Story Quote"There was a lull in the conversation. No one knew if they were going to leave this very moment, or after saying their goodbyes to everyone here, or even this year. Leona was still worried about her right to be the leader, so she couldn’t just order it." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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7
Citrus BubbleJesi pulls one of the citrons off the stem, and inspects it. "This is a weird-lookin' one." // "Buddy like what he likes," Dave says. // "Yeah," Jesi agrees, though she doesn't know him. "Okay. See ya later!" It looks like she's about to time travel away. // "Wait!" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesWe've been standing in a stone room, unlike anything else on this secret partially underground base at location: unknown. Everywhere else is modern, leading me to believe that this is some ancient enclave that predates the paramilitary outfit that uses it now. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingThe coconut is not a true nut, it's a water.
Story Quote"Those photos you sent him, woof. I told you the first one was too revealing, but that’s how you’re built, and I don’t wanna body-shame you. But I can’t believe you sent him the one of you doing yoga too. Why did you even take that in the first place?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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8
Citrus Bubble"Oh, did you wanna come with?" Jesi asks jokingly. // "It's my responsibility," Dave explains. "If I'm not the one who presents Buddy with his prize, he doesn't bring my daughter back to life." // She suddenly becomes serious. "You're doing this for your daughter?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI've been in this area before, mostly because it's the fastest way to get from the shooting range to the cafeteria, so it's not like it's forbidden territory, but I've never seen anything special happening here. Other people seem to use it as a shortcut too. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingI'm going to put another Madison Square Garden next to the original Madison Square Garden, and let people finally say Madison Square Gardens if they want without being ridiculed by New York City snobs.
Story Quote"He seemed to have mixed feelings about seeing me again, like he was happy, but also pretty worried. In my head, I thought for sure this was the guy. He knew something. He was part of it. He was Condor’s secret observer. As it turns out, not exactly." #correspondence #fishquotes
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9
Citrus Bubble"You have a soft spot for people's kids?" Dave asks. "Does it hit close to home?" // "Of course I have a soft spot for kids, I'm not a monster," she replies. "As cavalier as I am about people and their lives, children are innocent. I'll do what I can to save yours." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Open 'er up," Vin commands. // Dutch taps his screen once. The wall next to them shutters, and starts sliding towards them, releasing dust from the seams. This hidden door moves all the way over to the right, revealing a large, dark passageway. // "Go on in." #NickFishermanLoses
Fake ConversationPeople are always, like, "lol, I'm snooping. I'm snoopy. Sorry, I get curious when I'm in other people's houses." And I'm always, like, "that's my safe, and you're using high-grade safe-cracking equipment." And so they're all, "this isn't where you keep your extra toilet paper?"
Story Quote"It was an excuse she came up with for why she wasn’t demanding much money to care for me. She didn’t need money, she just needed to get into that apartment, though obviously it would have been quite suspicious had she agreed to do it entirely free." #correspondence #fishquotes
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10
Citrus Bubble"Come on, come on," Jesi urges, in a quiet and reassuring voice, her hand beckoning him towards her hip. // Dave steps closer so her time bubble doesn't have to be too big, but they don't touch. // "What about that one o'er there?" Jesi jerks her chin at Rochelle. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"It goes to another dimension?" I question, leaning towards the tunnel opening, but not stepping closer to it. // "You tell us," Vin says. "It sounds like you know more about this stuff than we do. This is why we were watching you, and why we recruited you." #NickFishermanLoses
Fake ConversationMy girlfriend: "Are you nervous to meet my parents after all these years?" // Me: "No, parents love me." // Girlfriend: "They do?" // Me: "Well…MY parents do." // Girlfriend: "But do they?" // Me: *sighs* "No." // Girlfriend: "Neither do I." // Me: *sighs again* "Neither do I."
Story Quote"We have so much in common despite our vastly different upbringings and environments. I don’t know how we could possibly have a real relationship given our restrictions, but I don’t think that’s reason enough not to try. I think the opposite is true." #correspondence #fishquotes
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11
Citrus Bubble"If there's room," Rochelle begins, "I would love to go with you." // Jesi is the type of person who makes decisions quickly, and often decides to withhold or delay information from others for strategic purposes, or her own amusement. "Oh, okay, I guess," she jokes. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Is this gonna kill me?" I press. I don't expect Vin to answer honestly if this is indeed a trap, but it's logical to ask. I'm not exceptional at reading people, but all humans have some capacity for deception detection, and it doesn't work if you don't try. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryI wanted a raise at work, so I asked my friend, who's a recruiter at our main competitor, to email me a "leverage offer" so I could show my boss what I'm worth. But that fake offer was so good that I was able to leverage it into a real job at the other company. I start on Monday.
Story Quote"We hope that the Valkyries will fly off into the void, and leave us alone forever, but if not, don’t forget that we’re thinking of you. And hey, maybe they’ll have that breakthrough in FTL communications, and the Valkyries won’t be able to block it." #correspondence #fishquotes
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12
Citrus BubbleRochelle walks over into the inner circle. With hardly any effort, Jesi waves her hand, and forms a bubble around the three of them. It has a mostly pinkish hue, but it shifts to and from various shades. This is interesting because most time bubbles are colorless. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesVin scoffs. "If I were gonna kill ya, I'd have done it a long time ago. You know how much it costs to train just one of you brandlings?" That's what new recruits are called, unless they already have some decent experience. Nimue and Mazin came in as joiners. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryI met Jesus once. I asked him to build me a school, and he tried to literally cut corners, and pocket the extra money. I forgave him, though…like Jesus would if he had been in my shoes.
Story Quote"When the enemy comes, Ayata and Andrei hold them off while Ingrid and Killjlir go for the red fruit. Ayata and Andrei lose, but don’t die. The attackers plant their bomb, and bug out. That hopefully leaves enough time for the five of them to escape too." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 13
Citrus BubbleShe seems to be reading Dave's mind. "I paid extra for the pink coloring." // "You paid for it? You weren't born with this power?" // Jesi smirks. "I wasn't born…I was made. And it was for that reason that I was able to make aftermarket changes later on in life." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Very well, then." I make eye contact with everyone, then step over the threshold, into the dark, scary tunnel. I am immediately overcome by a sense of power, surging through my body. I feel strong, healthy, more at ease. I've not felt this good for a while. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingHe's a either a flipper, or a flopper. I can't decide which one describes him best.
Story Quote"Dark particles wafted up from the sand, forming themselves into a blob, which assembled into a humanoid figure. It developed approximations of human facial features, but only as creases and pits. It was a great example of body-horror. Its mouth moved." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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14
Citrus BubbleDave stops to think. His whole reason for being is that he can transport regular people who don't have powers. He doesn't interact with other time travelers all that much, and had no idea that there were others like him, who were turned, not born. What does it mean? #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI look down at my hands. The bruises from my boxing training are gone. The aches in my knees from the three miles that I had to run this morning, in addition to the three miles I have to run every day for months…that's all gone too. My immortality, it's back. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”My superhero story is so twisted, it makes The Boys look like Captain Underpants.
Story Quote"While we’ll never meet in person—and we may soon be separated by time as well as space—I think our correspondences will be worth it. Please understand, however, that as Corinthia said, you deserve happiness. If you meet someone else, don’t hesitate." #correspondence #fishquotes
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15
Citrus Bubble"Are we gonna go, or what?" // "Huh? Oh yeah, sorry." Dave holds up the Buddha's hand citron that they'll be using for this test. "Do it." // Jesi pantomimes pushing forwards. The trees around them rustle faster than usual. Day turns to night. The fruit explodes. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI turn around to smile at my friends, but they're gone. All I see is a stone wall. I don't know if it's a hologram, some other illusion, or if I've been transported somewhere. I'm having trouble worrying about it. I once again can't die. This is the real me. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingEven if cheese could some how turn back into the water buffalo—which it can't, because the animal isn't MADE OUT OF cheese—it should theoretically turn into a lady cow, since they are at least the ones who produce milk. I know that this means nothing now, but it will in a year.
Story Quote"Now that my job is kind of cushy and breezy, I rarely ever feel that rush of adrenaline anymore. Reading your letters gave me that intensity that I guess I’ve been missing in my life. I hope I’ve not gotten too carried away about it. So, you tell me." #correspondence #fishquotes
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16
Citrus Bubble"How far in the future did we go?" Rochelle asks. She's standing there in amazement, looking up and out at the world around them. She doesn't really even care about the fruit. // "About eleven hours," Jesi replies. // "It exploded after one second," Dave lamented. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Nick," Vin calls to me from behind. // I spin around to find him walking towards me in this dark corridor. A portal opens up to my left, and another to my right, along with a few others. They're each showing the same thing; the view back into headquarters. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking. Daniel Radcliffe has the worst British accent I've ever heard. Who is his dialect coach? Their license should be revoked. Just go back to your regular accent, dude. We're not buyin' it. Oh, hahaha, Nick. Clever. You see, it's funny beca
Story Quote"I hope she was telling the truth that she never made you sick, and was genuinely treating you for the regretful condition you were born with. It shows that she wasn’t a total monster. A true scientific observer wouldn’t allow themselves to interfere." #correspondence #fishquotes
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17
Citrus Bubble"Well, hold on," Jesi says. "Let me try something else." She pulls her arms back to rewind time. Night turns to day, the trees rustle back to the way they were when the three of them left. As for the fruit…it reconstitutes itself. She really can control entropy. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesEach of my friends steps through the duplicate portals at the same time, but each of them appears on this side of it through DIFFERENT portals. Apparently, only one person can take one way in, even if they walk through simultaneously. That's a real weird rule. #NickFishermanLoses
Fake ConversationOld Guy: "Young man, I know what I'm doing. I was doing it when you were just a twinkle in your daddy's eye." // Me: "Please don't feel like you're being condescended to, but it's possible that you believe this, so I have to ask…do you think that people start out as twinkles?"
Story Quote"One thing that has helped some couples is building a fictional environment to occupy together. They imagine what their lives would be like if they could live them in realtime. Fair warning, this doesn’t work for everyone. The lie can be…maddening." #correspondence #fishquotes
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18
Citrus Bubble"Holy crap, it worked!" Rochelle squeals. // "Wait one second," Jesi warns. She pulls back even further, and makes time continue to reverse, to before the moment the bubble was formed. They see themselves walk backwards out of the bubble. The fruit explodes again. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"What happened?" I ask. // Vin grimaces a little. "I was hoping that you could tell us. It hasn't become a problem so far, we just don't understand why it does that. Why does the portal move to a different exit. How does it know that it's a separate person?" #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingHeard at work today: "Heyo! Ha-ha-ha! Won't even have to lie! […] MATH!" Me. It was me. I said that.
Story Quote"Take Bray with you, do it in public. Don’t talk to Velia first. I know you don’t want her to be surprised, but what if she turns on you? What if she warns her father? What if she doesn’t realize what he’s capable of. Don’t take any risks. I love you." #correspondence #fishquotes
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19
Citrus BubbleDave shakes his head. "The fruit can't stay together when it moves through time too quickly, whether forwards or backwards. UNLESS…it goes back to where it started. Maybe there's a way to trick it into thinking it should exist in the future?" // "Maybe," Jesi says. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"I've never heard of anything like it," I admit. "I don't even know where we are." // Vin checks his watch. "Dutch?" // "It should be soon." // Vin is suddenly growing impatient. "Dutch!" // "It'll be fine, we won't miss it." // "Miss what?" Leonard questions. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”I'm rich! // I wrote this back when I wasn't rich, but now that I am, it seems so braggy. Still, I'm keeping it, because I'm authentic. // I wrote this when I thought I was gonna be rich by the time it posted, but that never happened. Still, I'm keeping it, because I'm authentic.
Story Quote"Saddened by this bizarre and disappointing development, Echo does his duty, and buries her in the ground. There is no way for him to know if this is what she would have wanted, but that is what his parents told him to do with them after they were gone." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 20
Citrus Bubble"Hmm," Jesi begins. "If you want to make the fruit specimen think that it's from the future, you might want to start with manipulating its DNA. Now, I'm pretty smart, but at my company, I have certain people handle those sorts of highly specialized skills for me." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesThe walls start closing in. It's not that they're sliding along the floor like a death maze escape horror movie. It's more like this corridor is slowly being squeezed like a garden hose. Still, the result will be the same. We'll be crushed between the rocks. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryTwo heads are not better than one if one of the heads is mine, and the other is @elonmusk's, and he won't shut the hell up about how it's 4-20, and just get in the game. We're supposed to be running The Amazing Race: Mortal Enemies Edition.
Story Quote"At first, they thought he was hurt, but he was positively ecstatic. He was laughing and crying simultaneously, holding his arms up and to the side like he had just won Olympic gold, panting, both relieved and proud. No one had a clue what was going on." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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21
Citrus Bubble"Well, if you're gonna be foolin' with the citrus DNA, why don't you just save the code, and send THAT to the future instead?" Rochelle said it like it was nothing more than an off-handed comment. // Dave is taken aback. "Hold up, would that work? Would that work!?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesThe corridor becomes narrower and narrower. We move to stand in a single-file line, crouching down. It doesn't look good, in more ways than one. At the last possible second, gravity totally shifts. Forwards becomes down, and we slide towards an infinite abyss. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryI started a new courier company called China Direct. You order something that's coming from China, and I'll teleport there and grab it for you. You pay me by letting me pick one thing from your refrigerator. But if there's nothing good, I'm breaking whatever you had me retrieve.
Story Quote"He still sees me as his little baby boy sometimes, but he recognizes that I am well into adulthood, and I can make my own decisions now. They may be bad decisions—you may even call them mistakes—but it’s time that I fly the nest, and find my own way." #correspondence #fishquotes
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22
Citrus BubbleJesi looks away to think. She sends them forward a few moments, back to their present. The whole Buddha's hand citron falls to the ground as Dave's hands relax. Rochelle is confused. Did she just come to a realization before these two experienced time travelers did? #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesThe walls of the corridor continue to constrict as we're sliding down the ramp. A few minutes later, we slip through an opening, and fall into some kind of body of water. It's freezing cold, but I don't care, because I'm alive. Not everyone can say the same. #NickFishermanLoses
NanostoryYou think that I wanted to be a pediatric surgeon when I applied for Johns Hopkins University? No, I just sort of fell into it. I was only trying to get an art history degree. Four years went by so fast, and by the time I realized it, the only good credits I had were for this.
Story Quote"Here are the highlights. The program had been going on for a hell of a lot longer than we realized. Madalena was only hired for its most recent iteration. They tried this with other missions prior to this, including lunar bases and Martian outposts." #correspondence #fishquotes
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23
Citrus Bubble"WOULD it work?" Jesi echoes. "I don't see why not. It's not a fruit, it's just ones and zeroes on a computer. Did Buddy say that that isn't good enough? Does he want a specimen from the past, or does he just want to eat an extinct variety of citrus in his present?" #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI see someone floating in the water, but I can't tell who it is yet. I assume they've just passed out, and will respond to CPR, but then I notice the redness of the water surrounding them. Still, I swim to it, and turn it over. But it's just legs and a torso. #NickFishermanLoses
Random NothingHarmony And Total Equality. #unfortunateacronyms
Story Quote"The study was decades ago, so my dad claims that he hasn’t thought about it all this time. I don’t know if I believe that. He must have had some sort of reaction every time he passed her in the corridor, or whenever they came to have dinner with us." #correspondence #fishquotes
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24
Citrus Bubble"I think he just wants to eat it," Dave determines. "Or maybe even just have it." He picks the fruit back up again. "The problem with this is that it goes extinct in 100 years. But by then, humans can easily bring back extinct species by having their genetic code." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesFrightened, I look around. There's Vin. There's Mazin. There's Leonard. Where's Dutch? "Where's Dutch? Dutch!" // "Right here!" Dutch calls back. "I'm right here! I'm fine!" // I look back down at the severed body in my arms. So it's Nimue. She didn't make it. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”You wanna know how I got my parole officer?
Story Quote"I’m telling you all this, not only because I want to update you on my life, but also so you’ll understand that I may be incommunicado from my end for a while. I really just don’t know, but the Valkyries may not be the only thing standing in our way." #correspondence #fishquotes
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25
Citrus Bubble"Has anyone mapped the DNA of this particular species?" Rochelle questions. // "I have no idea," Dave says. "But that can be solved with little effort. If I can't find someone in this time period to do it for me, I'll jump forward until I locate someone who will." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"What the hell was that?" I demand to know as I'm dragging what's left of Nimue onto the bank of the lake. Everyone else is climbing out of the lake too, shaking the water out of the hair, and wringing it out of their clothes. "What happened!" I repeat loudly. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”The Tower of Babel was only, like, 150 meters tall. That was really tall back then. The smartest people around (besides yours truly, of course) calculated that it was about halfway to archivetweet, instead of the truth, which is that heaven isn't real, and neither is God.
Story Quote"I can’t slow down. I won’t have time to proofread before it’s time to cleave. There I go again, using the word time. It’s been so many times. Speaking oftime, we did not get enough. There’s still so much that I don’t know about you, and vice versa." #correspondence #fishquotes
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26
Citrus Bubble"Just give me a second," Rochelle says as she's pulling out her handheld device. "Okay, it says here that the Buddha's hand citron was ALREADY sequenced around 50 years ago. The database can be accessed through one's research credentials from the WorlDNA Bank. Hm." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesVin is panting. "It wasn't supposed to happen like that. I thought you timed it right." // "I don't understand," Dutch says, going back to working on his tablet. "That was closer than ever. Teams have never had that little time before. Let me check something." #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”By the time I was 6, I tested a 789 IQ, solved 5 math equations that had been plaguing scientists for 400,000 years, designed 2 different perpetual motion machines, and ran 1 mile in 3 minutes. I don't even feel that smart, but I have never met anyone who can meet my intellect.
Story Quote"It’s Clavia’s voice, but there’s something a little different about it. It sounds like it’s coming from a specific location, instead of just around him in general. Someone appears from behind the tree. It’s the dead woman who he buried here. She lives." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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| 27
Citrus Bubble"I don't suppose you have any credentials," Rochelle guesses. // "I do," Jesi says. She scoffs when they look at her weird. "I run a science foundation. I can get you anything. You want a dead body? I'm swimming in dead bodies." // "Just the sequence, thank you." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"Explain yourself," Leonard demands. // "That tunnel," Vin begins. "It's like a temporary bridge between our world and this one. When one forms, you have to make it to the other side before time runs out. But like he was saying, it's never happened that fast." #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”I have here in my notes from a long time ago something called "Eleven's Company" which I guess is meant to be a riff on 'Three's Company', perhaps as some kind of pitch for a reboot? Past!Me was an idiot, I'm glad he's dead.
Story Quote"RideSauce managed to avoid all of that by treating their workers with the respect they deserved from the very beginning. It was why they were now number one in this country, as well as in many others. Boyd stopped in front of the door, and let him out." #salmonverse #fishquotes
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28
Citrus Bubble"You have helped me quite a bit so far," Dave goes on. "I know it didn't work out with our little entropy gambit, but I do recall you being part of the Springfield Nine. Yet you've not yet asked for any form of payment, like a favor." // "I'm not like them anymore." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"You can't run through," Dutch continues the explanation. "You have to wait until gravity shifts from where you started to where you're going. But again, that always happens first. This time, for some reason, the bridge started to collapse before the fall." #NickFishermanLoses
Fake ConversationMe: "It says here that you only card people under 35. I'm 38, see? It's my birthday." // Liquor Store Clerk: "Why do you have a fake ID that says you're 38 when you look like you're at least 26 anyway?" // Me: "Because I got it when I was 9." // Clerk: "…………………………WAT!?"
Story Quote"I’m really hoping that nothing terrible happened, but I’m so afraid. Nothing happened to the Earth overall—that much I know—so please, is there anything you can tell me? How long has it been since you’ve spoken to him? Do you know where he could be?" #correspondence #fishquotes
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29
Citrus BubbleJesi reaches her hands out. "Teleport us to my headquarters, and I'll look into getting you that DNA sequence, free of charge. I'm too curious now to not see this through. I have to know if transporting citrus has always been as easy as just resurrecting it later." #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman LosesI look up at the face of the cliff where we fell from. The hole is gone now, because it was never really there. The interdimensional bridge formed inside of it, then quickly fell apart. They don't know how to stabilize them yet. They may not even know to try. #NickFishermanLoses
“Joke”Every year on my birthday, I give myself the gift of a new toothbrush. Each one is supposed to last two whole months, but I was born on the 28th, so I'm always a few days early. I'm so bad.
Story Quote"I wish that I had better news, and I wish I could keep going, but I buried my son. I held a funeral for him, and everything. I’m an old man now, and can’t keep traveling like I used to. I’ve recently settled in a region that was once called Ecuador." #correspondence #fishquotes
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30
Citrus Bubble"Thanks," Dave says. He takes one hand while Rochelle takes the other, and HIS other. Together, they jump all the way to Independence, Missouri. Jesi sits down at her desk and gets to work while the other two wait patiently on the couch. Exciting stuff right here. #CitrusBubble
Nick Fisherman Loses"You should have warned us," Mazin argues. "We went in there blind…literally. And now my partner is dead. I don't know if the truth would have saved her. We will never know. But what I do know is that you screwed this up, Vin. You'll answer for her death." #NickFishermanLoses
Fake ConversationInterviewer: "What kind of research do your stories require?" // Me: "Science, mostly, but I once wrote a story about a character who went back to 1945 to kill Hitler, so I needed to study WWII history." // Interviewer: "But Hitler DID die in 1945." // Me: "Yeah…you're welcome."
Story Quote"There’s nothing to say about the blackout. Most of our lives didn’t change on a day-to-day basis. For the most part, it has no effect on our internal communications. My job is a bit different, but as the saying goes, it’s nothing to write home about." #correspondence #fishquotes
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