It wasn’t until I was thirteen years old when I realized that I should grow up to become a fulltime writer. Before that, I was into science; specifically meteorology, biochemistry, and quantum physics. A failing grade in the middle of the year for eighth grade science class swiftly quashed that dream. Only my interest in physics has remained from all that. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t until college that I decided to focus on science fiction, and I subsequently started shoveling as much scifi TV and movies into my brain as I could find. Before all this happened, however, I was already a writer. I just didn’t understand how powerful that aspect of me would become. I would visit my grandparents just under an hour away in Lawrence, Kansas on a regular basis. While I was there, I would walk myself down to the library, sign in to use a computer, and get to work. What would I write? Short stories? Little jokes? Fan fiction? No, my first personal experiences with writing involved little fake news stories. I would write about the world ending from the perspective of one of the last journalists. I would write about other planets, and science experiments gone wrong, and who knows what else? I remember printing them all out, but I cannot for the life of me remember what I did with them after that. I certainly don’t have access to them now. This was before flashdrives, and I don’t think those old PCs had internet access. Since then, I’ve developed a massive canon called recursiverse with hundreds of named characters having adventures and tribulations on thousands of named planets over the course of billions of years. Then there’s my salmonverse canon, the scope of which is yet to be determined. I’ve written jokes, poems, microstories, songs, short stories, fan fiction, original novels, graphic novels, television shows, and movies. I’ve planned about 70 TV series, designed to be released through the year 2066. All of eight of them are not connected to other narratives. This either sounds like I’m crazy, or trying to brag, or both. It’s both. The sad part is that there is a strong possibility that none of them will see the light of day, just like those fake news articles I wrote when I was a little tiny baby boy baby. Here’s the thing, though, these fake articles I’ll be writing for the next twenty weeks will indeed be released. I’m going to be working on this website through 2066 no matter what, and it’s going to result in at least 150 self-published books guaranteed. So do not pity me. Just sit back and supplement the onslaught of celebrity nipslips and political nightmares with a little news...from the other side. Welcome...to Headlines.

New Hitch Series Moving Forward
Deformed Wolves Come Out of Hiding
Deering Method Ready for Human Patients
Why Does the Destruction Destroy?
New Mission to Keres Most Ambitious Yet
Amadesin Remnant Hiding in Higher Dimensions
Human Visitors Claim to be From Another Universe
Landslide Vote in Favor of Rename to ‘Martian’
Grandmother in the Moon Continues to Elude Authorities
Aleri War Commences After Sublight Delay
First School Based on Alto Technology Opens
The Boy With No Country
WARP Lantern Accident Damages Artwork
Martian Law Enforcement Approves ‘Culmination’ Coven
Woman Uses Telekinesis to Tear Planet in Half
Dasha Sinclair Interview Transcript
A Look at a Crew Ship
Heavy World Subspecies Created
Humans Claim to be From Another Galaxy
Lone Survivor of Plane Crash Missing
Vampir-Human Hybrid Baby Dies
Anakro Biotech Reawakens Extinct Animals
The End of Time…Travel
Trackstar Uses Chemicals to Enhance Speed
Savons Are Barely Not Human
Lactean Irritants Possess Cloning Technology
Mysterious Savior May Not Have Abilities
So-called Light Wars Begin Over Earth
What Happened to the Flowers?
Major Drug Bust in Carolina
Special Devices Allow Elves to Swim
Government Approves Flashbacking Interrogation
Man Claims to Know Where Flipcoats Come From
Cause of Strange Weather Events in Bellevue Found
Suspended Animation Essentially Achieved
Meganexa Completed, Core Construction Finished
What Will Happen When Mosi Jengo Dies?
Small Military Contingency Remains to Help Keres
Last Human Alive Writes News Article
Telepathic Students Cheating on Tests
New Planet Discovered From an Early Exodus
Starscapers Hopes to Rival Magnus Immortality
Ashil to Become Site of First Off-world Settlement
Attack on Asexual Headquarters; Amadesins Take Credit
New Home Galaxy Detected 55 MLY Away
Drug Problem Increases; Earthan Psychiatrists Deveiled
Solange Attar Coming to Wyoming
What Makes Edward’s Haven Special and Exclusive?
Bellevue Increasing Scope to Utah
Second Day of No Death Crash at Same Location
Defense System Test Reveals Dangerous Flaws
Woman Reaches Naked Orange Plex Swimming
Area Hospitals Experiencing Impossible Cures
Telescope Reveals Most Planets Aren't Flat
Battleship Participating in War Games Goes Missing
Are Criminals Running The Core?
Tissue & Organ Replacement Prices Dropping
Spacetime Tear May Lead to A Planet in the Future
Magnus Immortality Claimed to Be Real
Child Pulls God Down From Sky
Bellevue Publicly Condemns GRC Growth
First Completely Self-Sufficient Building To Open
The Quake That Never Was
Prisoners Fall Off the Face of Gavismet
Government Used Interstellar Travel for Decades
Experiments Increase Animal Intelligence
Spontaneous Human Combustion Proved Inaccurate
Once Again No Winner For Seven Day Wonder
Brooks Clothing Opens in Kansas City
Dwyn Rinen Lands on Moon
Calendar Reset to Zero Following Fall of Civilization
Amnesia Patients Receive Erroneous Memory Infusions
News brief: Jarl Found Dead; Thralls Missing
Infamous Amadesin Refugee Rescuer Identified
Sunken Russian Passenger Submarine Found
Construction on Verge Planet Complete
Evidence of Illegal Human Experiments Uncovered
Operator Cult Growing Every Day
Rangers Assure Public ‘Vampire Uprising’ Unlikely
The Return of Meteora?
World Leaders Debate Universal Identity
Artificial Gestation Perfected
New Home Hair Management Products
Fairies Leave the Planet
Aerial Broadcasting Terminals Unsafe, Scientists Say
‘My Miacid, Sid’ Author Returning to Kansas City
‘Adventures of Conundrum & Treemaker’ Cancelled
Outsiders Selected to Crew Theseus
Extinct Human Civilization Discovered on Exoplanet
Operator Halts All Ploutonic Enterprises Operation
Visitors Have Yet to Leave Ship
Surviving AMF Platoon Primarily Incipiants
Prophet Warner Clemons’ Death Ruled Murder
Miscalculation of Largest Particle Accelerator in the World
Atlantis Will Sink
Claims of New Anomaly Revealed Erroneous
Last Giant Dies
Group of Ambers Provide Aid Following Disaster;
Form Paramilitary ‘Brigade’

How PROSAIC Took Over the World

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