Interview Transcripts

Microstory 1300: Nick Fisherman by Tavis Highfill

Tavis Highfill: Thank you for coming in. I know it’s easy for us to meet up with each other, since we share the same body, but it’s not often that we interact so directly.
Nick Fisherman: Thank you for having me.
Tavis: Now, you’re working on a new project, correct?
Nick: Yes. It’s a series called Interview Transcripts. I’ll be posting one each weekday, all the way through June, and then some.
Tavis: Tell me a little bit about that.
Nick: June?
Tavis: The interview transcripts. Are these real transcripts from real interviews between real people?
Nick: Absolutely not. I could not, and would not, betray someone’s privacy like that.
Tavis: So, where are they coming from?
Nick: My mindbrain.
Tavis: What the hell is a mindbrain?
Nick: It’s the hypothetical source of an original thought.
Tavis: I see. That sounds stupid.
Nick: Well, you came up with it, so...
Tavis: Are these going to be job interviews, or celebrity interviews, or what?
Nick: Yes, and yes, plus a lot of other things. I broke them down into eleven categories: employment, celebrity, journalistic, psychology, survey, police, court, college, clearance, suitability, library reference; in that order. There will be fourteen job interviews, but only four library reference interviews.
Tavis: What the hell is a library reference interview?
Nick: I don’t remember.
Tavis: ...
Nick: I’ll figure it out.
Tavis: Is this a fixed format, or can you adjust?
Nick: I can adjust, if necessary; for instance, if I can’t figure out how to write an intriguing enough suitability interview—let alone five of them.
Tavis: Are these going to be very good?
Nick: Probably not. But that’s not the point of my website. These are all experimental. Anyone can write seven books about a boy wizard, or three vampire fanfics. I’m not at all saying I’m the best writer in the world, but I do take risks, and I don’t worry about whether it ends up being good or not, because the experience alone makes it worthwhile.
Tavis: Is there anything else you would like your audience to know?
Nick: Ha! What audience!
Tavis: You know what I mean.
Nick: Yes. [Leans in real close] King Dumpster’s senate acquittal doesn’t mean he’s fit to maintain his seat. Vote him out in November. Thank you, and enjoy the series.

EDIT: These aren’t necessarily going to be entire interview transcripts. Some can be hella long, and ain’t nobody got time for that. If it looks like I ended the story without a conclusion, I guess we call that an interview excerpt? You’ll be okay.
Transportation Inspector Third Party Founder Housewife State School Candidate College Dropout Witness for the Defense Metal Thief Clearance Investigator Job Fish Feet College Graduate Suspected Arson Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Virus (Part 1) Virus (Part 2) Fear for Life Wags for Days First Resort Self-Representation Perfect Team Dynamics Insanity Maintenance Inspectorate Hillside Hangings Sports Man Savage Vandal (Part 1) Savage Vandal (Part 2) Major Scandal Judgment

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