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Silvia and one of the Audreys are gone. Thistle is the only one who may know
whether the original, or the clone, is the one who ended up heading off to
the planet. He reportedly deleted his own memories of the event, but it
really doesn’t matter. For all practical purposes, it’s the same
consciousness, just with a different body. He restored her to perfect health
to further conceal the truth, but a deep enough medical examination could
produce an answer, if anyone were so inclined to try. Extremus!Audrey is
choosing to be positive about the situation, taking comfort in knowing that
she is raising her baby, even though she will never have any memories
of it, or be able to make any decisions on the child’s behalf. There was a
ton of philosophical debate about this during the time when consciousness
manipulation technology was being developed. In the end, most can agree that
you are unique, and even a copy is not really you. They’re just someone who
looks like you, and thinks they are you. That’s why programs like Project
Theseus and neurosponging were created. They maintain continuity of thought
during the digitization and transfer process. There is no copy; it’s you
over here, and then over there. Audrey is ignoring that, because it’s not
the point. Silvia is being cared for by her mother, and that’s as good as
it’s going to get until the Waldemar problem is solved, or at least comes to
some kind of conclusion.
Tinaya’s duties to the population have subsided. There doesn’t really seem
to be a need for anyone to be directly in charge of promoting growth. They
don’t really want there to be someone doing that job permanently. It’s too
close to totalitarianism. If you want kids, have kids. If you don’t, don’t.
If you can’t care for them, please don’t try. In the end, it’s the public’s
responsibility, and if they want the human race on this side of the galaxy
to eventually die out, then so be it. Philosophically, it’s not a real
problem. A problem is something which has a negative impact on those
involved. If no one is alive anymore, there’s no one to feel the negative
effects. No one gets hurt. The human race is not inherently entitled to
persisting. The fact that they exist does not, on its own, provide any
transcendent benefit to the universe. This is a hard lesson to learn, and
few have learned it. In an ideal world, they shouldn’t have to. If they do
want to live, they should be able to. The only real boundary separates what
one person wants from what another does. Everyone deserves the right to
decide what they want, even if what they want is to not exist at all.
Oceanus had started to rely less on Tinaya, and more on Lataran, and that
hasn’t stopped even as Tinaya’s time begins to open up. So she’s kind of
gone back to not having that much to do. At this point, it doesn’t bother
her as much. Her son claims that he doesn’t need parenting, because he’s so
old, but that’s all changed. The thing with Audrey and Waldemar has really
messed him up. It’s affecting his work negatively. The whole point of coming
back in time was to help Waldemar, not hurt him. That’s why Silveon
didn’t just straight up murder him the first chance he got. He’s having a
hard time rectifying this mission with the monster he knows Waldemar to be
inside. Audrey put herself in a position to get pregnant, but Waldemar took
that opportunity. A decent guy would not have done that. How can Silveon
continue trying to make this future tyrant a better person when nothing
seems to be working?
While Silveon is questioning his commitment to the cause, Audrey herself has
picked up the slack. She’s still with Waldemar because she has to be, and
Waldemar is still with her because it helps his reputation. Everyone sees
him as the hero who stuck by the mother of his child even though that child
didn’t survive. This wasn’t just about population growth, or because she’s
hot and young. It’s true love, and they’re in a real relationship. At least
that’s how the public sees it. Only a few people know what’s really going
on, though even such people are each looking at it from different angles.
Silveon bursts into Tinaya and Arqut’s room. He’s huffy, pacing around in a
tight circle. “I need you two to stop me.”
“Stop you from what, honey?” Arqut asks. The two of them are in bed, but
just reading.
“Waldemar. He’s still raping her,” Silveon replies. “I wanna hurt him.”
“Careful with that word,” Tinaya warns. “I’ve spoken with Audrey. It’s
consensual.”
“We all know it’s more complicated than that,” Silveon argues.
“Yes,” Tinaya agrees. “What we know is that her birthday was two weeks ago,
which makes her an adult in the eyes of the law, and even if she weren’t a
time traveler, she would be considered capable of making her own decisions
about who she shares her body and time with. What we know that the public
doesn’t is that she’s far older than that, so even if you subscribe
to the idea that humans are not sufficiently mature until their
mid-twenties, she’s well past that. So if anyone has the advantage in
this relationship, it’s her. So who are you angry with?”
“Well, not her.”
“Then it shouldn’t be with anyone,” Arqut determines.
Silveon scoffs. “Oh, believe me. I have plenty reason to be angry with
Double-U.” He’s been having a hard time saying Waldemar’s name lately, like
it’s cursed. “It’s not just about this.”
“Yeah, you’ve told us all the stories,” Tinaya reminds him. “We don’t need
to rehash his fate, or lack thereof.”
“I haven’t told you everything.” Silveon shakes his head.
“Silvy, why don’t you have a seat on the ottoman?” Tinaya offers.
To their surprise, he does it. It doesn’t alleviate his stress right away,
but it’s harder for him to be so tense when his own weight is distributed a
little more comfortably.
His parents slide down the bed to join him on either side. “I’m only going
to ask you this one more time, and then never again. I will believe you this
time.” Tinaya pauses a moment. “I’m not downplaying your fundamental
disapproval of their...unconventional relationship. But I think it’s
important to establish once and for all if even a small part of you is so
upset because you have feelings for Audrey?”
Silveon shoots right back up to his feet, and spins around to face them.
“Are you kidding me? Of course I have feelings for her! Have you
seen her? She looks no less beautiful as an old woman than she does
now. I still see her like that, though; the wrinkles in her face. The way
her skin sags. The...experience and heartache in her eyes. I’ve always been
in love with her.” He steps over to sit in the armchair. “But I set that all
aside, because I thought I would never see that Audrey again. Not the
real her. When I came back to the past, she was just this little
girl. She would always be far too young for me. Mom, dad, everyone is too
young for me. Except, as it turns out, her. I can’t believe I’m
telling you this, but I’ve not slept with anyone myself, and I will never be
able to. Unless...”
“Unless something changes between her and Waldemar,” Arqut acknowledges.
“She’s your only peer. She’s your only hope for love. Even if you met an old
person who was closer to your real age, they would see you as
a child.”
Silveon takes a deep breath. “Yeah.” They sit in silence for a few moments
before Silveon continues, “don’t take me for a fool, though. I wasn’t
surprised by that fact. I obviously knew what I was getting into. She’s the
variable that I wasn’t expecting. Understanding that I would be alone in
this new timeline was one thing, but having one possibility just out of
reach? No one prepared me for that. They knew she was coming back
with me. She knew too. They could have told me, and maybe I would have
handled everything differently. Maybe we could have brainstormed ways to
give Waldemar the bump in the polls he would need without a prop
family.”
Tinaya has been patiently waiting for her son to get to a point where she
could interject, and this is the right place. “There’s a very old song I
love from Earth, which was written centuries ago. It goes,
when I was a young boy // My mama said to me // ‘There's only one girl in
the world for you // And she probably lives in Tahiti. For reference, the singer did not live very close to Tahiti, and might
never venture there. The song is about him going all around the world to
look for this one girl, because maybe it’s not really Tahiti. That was just
one example. She could have been anywhere, and the lyrics never reach a
resolution, because the singer missed the point that I am interpreting his
mother to be making, which is that you’ll never find the perfect one for
you. She doesn’t live in Tahiti, Silveon. She doesn’t live anywhere, because
she doesn’t exist. Maybe Audrey would have been great for you in the other
timeline, but as you said, she’s out of reach. If you pursue her, Waldemar
will never accept it. I can almost guarantee you that he will be worse than
what you experienced under his reign before. You may see her as your one
shot, but I see her as the only person you can’t be with.
“I probably shouldn’t recommend this, but maybe you’re looking at this all
wrong. Don’t think of yourself as an old man in a young man’s body. Think of
yourself as a young man with special knowledge. Only the four of us know
where you’re from. Find a partner. Recognize your age difference initially,
but then ignore it. Put it in a lockbox, and never open it up again. They
don’t ever have to find out about it, and neither does anyone else. You’re
not a time traveler, Silveon. You’re a seer. There are tons of seers on
Earth, and no one thinks of them as older than they look. Just pretend to be
a seer.”
“You want me to start a relationship with some innocent girl with a lie?”
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret,” Tinaya goes on, “which I’m
surprised you never grew up to learn yourself. All relationships start out
on a foundation of lies. People are disgusting, and we never let others see
our true selves. It wouldn’t be any different for you than for anyone else.
Convince yourself that you are a seer. Forget your past life. Treat it as
the gift of foresight. Find a way to be happy, and forgive yourself.”
“Or,” Arqut jumps in, “alternatively, accept your role in this life, and
avoid all romantic entanglements. You wouldn’t be the first. Hell, you
wouldn’t even be the first time traveler to face this choice. How do
you think Lincoln Rutherford and Dalton Hawk got through it?”
“That’s a good point,” Silveon realizes. “I should ask those two how they
dealt with their consciousness travel shenanigans.”
“How would you do that?” Tinaya asks. “They live or lived on Earth.”
“You need to get me into the Bridger Section,” Silveon decides. “They have a
secret time mirror there.”
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