Thursday, March 4, 2021

Microstory 1574: Nap

I just woke up from a very unfulfilling nap where I dreamt that...

I think I had a dream once that my future husband and I were in our bedroom talking. We were talking about what a close relationship he wants to have with his parents. I remember talking about how he needs to talk to them before he tells them about our relationship. The problem is, they are moving and they are leaving the state before he can tell them, or they are moving to another country. He left to go talk to them and I got mad because I was supposed to tell them before they moved. I went to go talk to them and found that they had moved and I wasn’t invited to the wedding. My fiancé was there though. He was not at the wedding. I was so mad. I looked over at my fiancé and he had tears in his eyes. I felt bad. Then I woke up. I am always very, very glad that I am not still in that relationship. When I had this dream, I always thought, man, maybe I’m about to have a really bad life. I’ve recently gotten into reading the Harry Potter books. And I think I’m in the...

...minority here, because everyone else has already read them, and they managed to do it before all the news broke about the author’s transphobia. I’m in the middle of the third one, and I don’t know if I should keep going. It’s one thing for an actor or filmmaker to be cancelled. You can still enjoy their work, because it’s not just their work. A lot of people worked very hard to make that, and why should they suffer because this one person screams at young women, or does worse to them? This is different. She’s the only person who made these books, and I feel committed to them, but I also feel dirty. The nap was meant to make me feel better, but I only feel worse now, because the doorbell rang in the middle of a cycle, or something, and my heart is racing. I can’t even remember what happened in the dream, and it was only moments ago. That’s why I started talking about an old dream. Though, maybe it’s more relevant to my anxiety than the recent one was. People around me were making decisions, and they weren’t asking for my input, or even warning me about them. That’s kind of how I feel about cancel culture. So much of it is happening too fast that I don’t have time to really dig deep, and find out what happened. I’m just supposed to accept that we don’t like this person anymore, and not ask questions. The author thing is a pretty easy answer, but they’re not all like that, I just don’t know. I guess that’s what the dream was trying to teach me, that I have to slow down, and make time for the facts, or I’ll make bad decisions, and piss off everyone else.

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