Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Microstory 2129: Eat All the Things

Generated by Google Gemini Advanced text-to-image AI software, powered by Imagen 2
Today was a fun day for me, but will make for a pretty boring post for all of you. My new company gave me both a signing bonus, and an advance. I’m not a millionaire or anything, but I have enough money in my bank account to start taking care of myself. After the pre-onboarding paperwork and meetings that I had to go through—which I can’t talk to you about—I went shopping. I bought groceries, as well as other necessary new belongings, like a nightstand to put next to my bed. I got a lot of walking done today, because I don’t have a car, and I had to make separate trips, since I didn’t want to be carrying all of the bags around. For the larger furniture, like that nightstand, and a rug for the dining area, I had to make a whole separate trip each. Fortunately, I’m in a really convenient area, so it’s not like I had to travel for miles and miles to get to these places. I have this problem when I go grocery shopping, especially if I’m starting with very little, or in this case, almost nothing. I buy everything that I feel like eating that day, but that’s too much food, so I have to choose one for my next meal, and save the rest for later. Or I don’t wait, and eat all the things. That’s how I gained so much weight even after leaving college. The way it worked in the dorm cafeteria was that I could eat all the food I wanted every time I swiped my card, and I felt like I had to take advantage of the savings by eating extra, because my parents were paying for it. I thought that this sort of behavior would stop once I moved into an apartment during my last year, but by then, I was used to binging, and couldn’t help myself. That’s never really stopped, even when I’ve been able to lose weight, which is what happened when I became immortal, but it’s coming back now, so I have to be really careful. Anyway, I’m sure you don’t wanna hear any more about my eating disorder and weight issues.

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Microstory 2128: Carve Out Some Real Time

Generated by Google Gemini Advanced text-to-image AI software, powered by Imagen 2
My therapist session went pretty well, though there’s really nothing interesting for me to tell you about. I told her that I was from another universe, but we didn’t get into it yet. We didn’t even get into my arrest. We basically pretended like I was a perfectly normal thirtysomething man who had a relatable childhood, and was starting a new job. We discussed my upbringing, my educational background, and my past work experience. She just wanted to get to know me before trying to give me any advice, or help me through my issues. We obviously didn’t have time to go over my entire life story, especially not since I first had to spend some time filling out paperwork, and setting up a payment arrangement, so I’m sure the next session will basically be the same thing. So nothing juicy to report yet, you’ll just have to wait. In the meantime, let me tell you about my new apartment, which I finalized today. It’s on the edge of the city, on the Kansas side, which makes it fairly close to the intermittent jail facility, as well as the parole offices. Sometimes Leonard will be visiting me at home, sometimes I’ll have to go to his office, and sometimes we’ll meet somewhere in the middle. This is a really great location, and I’m satisfied with my choice. The building has a ton of amenities, which I never used before, but which I’m sure I’ll start now. There’s a gym, and now that I’m no longer immortal, I’ll probably have to start worrying about my health a little more. It includes a lap pool, and that’s all it’s for. While it’s okay for children to live here, this place advertises mostly to busy working adults; single people, and childless couples. There’s a playroom that can cater to various ages, though there’s no dedicated supervisor on site, so parents can’t just drop off their young ones, and go out. The complex also has a communal area for eating, which is connected to a few popular restaurants, though these restaurants are not technically part of the complex; they just built them within its walls. They’re open to the public. My company doesn’t foresee me needing to meet clients in person, and even if I do, I’ll probably have to go to them, but if one of them happens to be in the area, the second floor also has offices that can be rented by the hour, so that’s pretty handy.

I pretty much had to get this process fast-tracked, because I needed to move in today. I’m spending all day tomorrow going through some pre-onboarding procedures for my new job, including a formal background check, even though I don’t have much of a verifiable background. I really wanted to finish this all up by the end of the week, so I can let the FBI off the hook for my expenses. I also didn’t want to schedule anything for Friday. That’s the day that I go back into jail, and even though I don’t report until the evening, I really don’t want to start making any commitments that could potentially turn into conflicts. I may feel more comfortable in the future, or I may just always leave that day available for safety. The beauty of my new job is that I can set my own hours, which means Mondays could be their own buffer too, if need be. Fortunately, in terms of the apartment, I don’t have any belongings, so once they handed me the key, I just walked right in. The FBI is continuing to let me use their laptop for now, but depending on how long the pre-onboarding takes tomorrow, I may go shopping at some point. If I have to do that on Friday instead, that will probably be okay, because I could always leave the store early if I lose track of time. It probably won’t be until Tuesday until I can carve out some real time to go shopping, for lamps, and groceries, and whatnot. I spent my whole life waiting for the weekend to do extra things like all this. It’s going to take some time before I’m used to reversing that, and not forgetting absent-mindedly that my weekends are no longer free, and won’t be for several months.

Thursday, October 26, 2023

Microstory 2004: Colorado

For most of their lives, my grandparents weren’t able to go on vacations. My grandpa was so poor, if he ever had a day when he wasn’t working, he was trying to do other things for work. He would paint a neighbor’s fence, or help out at the local gas station. Anything he could find to save money, he was doing it. This continued for many years, even after grandpa got a better job in Wyoming. They occasionally went to places nearby, but nothing that anyone would call a family vacation. In 1981, which was five years after the new job, grandpa was experiencing something that my dad calls burnout. That means his job was really hard, and he wasn’t taking care of his mental health. He had recently gotten an even better promotion, and he was working all the time. His wife made him take some time off so they could go on a real vacation. They chose Denver, Colorado. They chose it because it was in a different state, but also not too far away, so they were able to drive to it in a day. My papa was about to become an eight-year-old, and it was the summertime. He had a lot of memories of this period in his life, but he couldn’t remember much about this trip. He knew that he was at some kind of sports game, and also that they went hiking. He thinks they probably spent one of the days shopping too. What my grandma said is that my papa’s father loved this trip, and it changed how he saw the world. They would start going on more trips from now on, which is what helped my papa to end up going to all fifty states in the United States.

Friday, August 11, 2023

Microstory 1950: Favorite Chaps

Generated by Google Workspace Labs text-to-image AI software
Myka: What do you think of this one?
Leonard: For me?
Myka: Yeah. It has really good battery life, and a fast processor.
Leonard: Do they just make phones with buttons for dialing phone numbers?
Myka: You don’t want to be able to text?
Leonard: Yeah, in my world, the numbered buttons have letters too.
Myka: Oh my God, you calgian. It takes forever to text that way. If you want something simpler, we can do that. But no friend of mine is gonna have a brick, or even a candybar.
Leonard: What the heck is a calgian?
Myka: You don’t have calgians? They hate all technology. I think the original term sprouted from a movement a long time ago of people whose loved ones were killed by the first horseless carriages, or something like that.
Leonard: Oh, we call those people hoobliers.
Myka: That’s a weird word. Anyway; scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. What about this one?
Leonard: When I was staying at the hotel on the government’s dime, I didn’t have to pay for anything, but I could still see the prices. Based on my understanding of the value of your dollar—which is different from what I’m used to—that is still a lot of money.
Myka: I can afford it.
Leonard: Whether you can afford it or not is not the problem. It’s whether I can afford to pay you back. The offer from the Office of Special Investigations did not come with a rate of pay, and I still don’t even know if I’m going to accept it.
Myka: This isn’t a loan, Leonard. It’s a gift.
Leonard: You don’t have to do that.
Myka: I want to. I don’t need a new job; I’m doing okay for myself as I am.
Leonard: What do you do for a living? I don’t know if you ever said.
Myka: I work in a room full of remotely accessed computers and servers. I don’t have technical expertise, but if someone who’s working from home needs their machine to be turned back on, or something else goes wrong that requires physical access, they send me a message, and I handle it. I also ship and receive their home devices.
Leonard: Oh, that’s interesting.
Myka: It’s not. Things don’t go wrong often. Luckily, it allows me to watch TV all day.
Leonard: Once when I was struggling to find a job, my father gave me the best advice I’ve ever heard. The goal for those who don’t have any special skill or passion should be a job that gives them the most amount of money for the least amount of work.
Myka: That is interesting. [...] Anyway, let me get this for you, okay? I think you may find yourself using the features more than you think. Don’t feel bad about the money. I need to know that you’ll be available at any time. Plus, you’ll be able to install SatChapp.
Leonard: All right, I won’t feel bad. Thanks, Myka. And what is SatChapp?
Myka: It’s an app that lets you track your friends via satellite. SatChapp, the sat app for your favorite chaps. There’s a jingle that goes with it. Here, I’ll look it up on VidChapp.
Leonard: I’m one of your favorite chaps?
Myka: *giggling* Shut up. Of course you are.

Thursday, May 25, 2023

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: March 22, 2399

Generated by Canva text-to-image AI software
Labhrás Delaney steps into the apartment behind Winona, and looks around with a frown on his face. It’s small, and it could do with some cleaning, but he’s lived in worse. He did not exactly grow up rich. That’s why he did what he used to do, because he had to. He’s trying to do better now, but he certainly wouldn’t say that he regrets his past transgressions. That’s not true; he literally said that he regrets everything, but he didn’t really mean it. He just knew that the only way he was ever going to get back to the surface of the planet was to tell these people what they wanted to hear. Luckily, lying is his specialty. He steps a little farther into the unit. “What’s this?”
“It’s your new place,” she tells him.
“I thought we were just stopping by to run an errand. You bought this for me?”
“Well, the government did; not me personally, and they rented it. Surprise!”
He shakes his head, looking at the mold on the wall, and incessant leaky faucet.
“Mateo taught me a phrase from his reality. He said that beggars can’t be choosers. This is what’s available. The government’s not going to spring for a penthouse apartment overlooking the water.”
“No, it’s not like that. I thought I would be living closer to my granddaughter.”
“She’s not your granddaughter yet, and I don’t think she thinks of you that way. And anyway, she lives in New York now, and I don’t think that she’ll be coming back anytime soon. There’s something there that cannot be moved.”
“Oh, you gave me access to the news down in the prison. I heard all about it. Which is why I was hoping that you would relocate me there.”
“That’s not a thing,” Winona says apologetically. “We don’t move people around. You began your rehabilitation in KC, because that’s where the person who was in charge of it—i.e. me—needed to be. We only relocate through the witness protection program.”
“I witnessed a murder,” Labhrás discloses.
“Are you talking about your own murder?”
“Would that not count? Hold on, I can think of another crime...”
“I’m sorry, Mister Delaney, but if you don’t want to go back to the black site, this place is your only option. You’ll also need to fulfill the requirements we spoke of. You need to check in regularly, stay sober, earn gainful employment by the end of April—”
“You don’t think this is going to last another month, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Word has spread, Miss Honeycutt. The world is ending.”
“Who did you overhear discussing that?” she questions.
“The guards never told me their names.”
“So it was a guard.”
“Don’t get anyone in trouble on my account.”
She sighs. “Leona is going to reveal herself to the Daltomists, and therefore the whole world, on Friday. The last thing she needs is a presumably dead future relative of hers showing up to make things even more complicated.”
He seems to get it now. He throws his knapsack onto the counter. “Thank you.”
“Try to find some joy here. This is the kind of second chance that no one else has ever received. I’ll come by to take you shopping tomorrow.”

Saturday, December 24, 2022

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: October 21, 2398

Alyssa comes out of her room, and looks around at the empty communal area of their hotel suite. It’s been empty for days. Mateo and Ramses are stuck is some sort of something or other. Leona and Winona are off doing whatever, they won’t talk about it, but it kind of sounds more personal than operational. Arcadia and Vearden are dealing with family issues. Kivi never lived here anyway. Marie was the last to leave, and she hasn’t called in since. Seems mighty weird, Alyssa living here all alone. Not only is it too much space for one person, but she has the least amount of experience with any of this. She’s just a farm girl from Central Kansas. That’s the problem, isn’t it? They don’t trust her with anything, so they don’t ask anything of her. At least not anymore. They asked her for a lot in the past. The temporal energy has dwindled, though, so she’s of no use to them as an illusionist. Still, a quick call would be nice.
She has to do something. Living it up in this fancy place is making her feel terrible. Maybe Marie needs her help tracking the other time travelers, but she doesn’t know how to ask. Let’s find out where she is. Alyssa pulls out her device, and looks for Marie’s location. Her device hasn’t moved in a long time, and it’s not where she had her surveillance nest set up. She zooms into the satellite view of the friend finder app, but she can’t tell what this building is. She has to cross-reference it with the regular map. It’s showing those coordinates to be a mental hospital, which doesn’t sound good. No one else’s device is on, or they’ve switched off location tracking. Either way, they’re not picking up. She can sit here alone and be useless, or she can try to help.
Seeing no better option, Alyssa looks up the number to the hospital, and dials. “Hello, English?” she confirms. “Yes, I’m looking for a friend. We share our location history, and she’s been there since yesterday afternoon.” She waits for a response. “Her name is Sydney Bristow?” It’s the alias that Marie has been using, and apparently the name of an agent on a TV show from her reality called Alias. “Oh, really? Well, does she have outside communication privileges?” She does, but Marie will have to call her if she’s feeling up to it. “My name is Alyssa, she’ll know me.” She hangs up, and waits.
Ten minutes later, her phone rings. “Sydney, are you okay?” The phone may be tapped, she doesn’t know what kind of laws they have over there, so stick with the alias. “Yeah, I can see where that might get you into trouble, if you weren’t talking to the right person. Well, how can I get you out of there?” Marie doesn’t want to leave. “You’re happy there? What, are ya gonna stay there forever?” Not forever, just a few days to clear her head. “Your friends need you. I need you, I don’t know what to do.” Marie has one idea. “You think I’m ready for something like that on my own?” Yes, it’s just reconnaissance. “That’s the problem, we don’t know what—or who—I might run into.”
They keep discussing it for a little bit, Alyssa asking to fly to Manila herself, and be there for her. Marie doesn’t want that, and she’s the one controlling the purse strings. The trip would cost about ten thousand dollars, and still, no one else is available to help. Marie has to go, so she leaves the choice up to her, and hangs up. Alyssa thinks about it for a few minutes. This is her moment to prove that she deserves to be part of the team, and she doesn’t always need help from other people. She grabs her coat, and heads downstairs. If she’s gonna do this, she’s gonna do it right. She needs to shop for supplies. Who knows what she’ll find in Springfield, Kansas?

Monday, June 13, 2022

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: April 10, 2398

The six of them had a lovely dinner. They tried not to think about the fact that Olimpia wasn’t there to enjoy it with them. When most of the team was missing, it was sad, but at least they could fight to get them back. And at least there was more than one. Now that there was only one outstanding member, it felt like a betrayal; like they were excluding someone on purpose, even though of course, they weren’t. Leona still had trouble being convinced that they would not jump forward at the end of the day. As she saw it, it was programmed into their DNA, and their neurology, and the only way they could suppress it was with the Cassidy cuffs...until now. This place, this whole layer of reality, suppressed all nonlinear time. It was more than that, though. Not all of the upgrades that Ramses designed for their bodies had anything to do with the manipulation of time. Their strength, their ability to convert sunlight into energy; it was highly advanced, but not time travel. Not even their form of immortality was time-based. He used more traditional forms of cellular regeneration that were common throughout human civilization in the main sequence. For these reasons, Ramses and Leona are pretty confident that a person, or a group of people, were responsible for the state of things here. No natural phenomenon explained it...not in this universe, anyway. It was not time to investigate it, though. It was time to rest, and sleep, which they needed more of these days.
This unit was made with three bedrooms, which allowed Marie and Heath to keep the master, and Mateo and Leona to have the medium-sized one. Angela had the smaller one all to herself, while Ramses slept on the couch. Everyone was comfortable and content. Come midnight central, Leona was proven wrong. They were still there, having not missed a second. This might only last another day before they solve the problem, or they’ll have to wait four years, just like Marie did. There was no way to know right now. When they woke up, Ramses and Heath went to the store together to pick up some supplies. The former needed parts to build his own tiny cameras from scratch, and that wasn’t not something the latter could help with, but he wanted to be involved. Meanwhile, the two Angelas spent the day together, talking about secret things. They probably needed to figure out what they were going to tell the friends that Marie made here in this world of muggles and mundanes. They looked exactly alike, which she could probably explain away by saying they were estranged twins, but Marie also looked four years older, and that might be easy to spot for eagle-eyed viewers. The Matics decided to take a tour of the city, going to all the spots that they were familiar with, including the Forger’s original den, Aura and Samson’s house in Mission Hills, and even the warehouse where Mateo gave Leona her kidney. Nothing. Everything was normal. Mateo suggested they broaden their search, and try looking for answers in far away places, starting with Lebanon, Kansas, and even to Antarctica, where the Nexus should be. These were good ideas, but they would all have to wait for another day.

Monday, March 1, 2021

Microstory 1571: Secret Compartment

Prompt
I just found this secret compartment in my grandfather’s old oak desk, and inside it was...

Botner
...his driver’s license! He’s never been married, he’s in his 60s, and he’s been married to the same woman for 25 years! How crazy is that? I had a hard time believing that, but there you have it. Here’s the proof. I’ve had many girlfriends over the years, but never an old girlfriend. After my daughter was born last May, a friend of mine called to ask if I could watch her infant daughter for a few days. Of course, I said yes. Then I asked, “do you happen to have an old girlfriend around who can’t have the baby?” We had a blast. The baby and I spent a few nights and weekends together, but we got to see each other the rest of the time. What did we do, you ask? We shopped, we talked, we ate dinner, and we watched movies. We didn’t actually get to do any of those things the whole time, but what we did do was talk for hours and hours on end. It was nice to reconnect after all these years. When I got my first full-time job in 1998, I saved money and...

Conclusion
...was able to hire someone to help me get clean. I had never done drugs before, but the cleaner says the desk must have been lined with some kind of hallucinogenic, perhaps to stop anyone from accessing it. Now that I’m better, and the things I’m saying make any bit of goddamn sense, and don’t contradict each other, I can get back to the driver’s license. At first, I don’t think there’s anything interesting about it, because I saw his current one in his effects after he died. Little by little, I start to notice discrepancies. Firstly, it claims that his birthdate was last year, and that his license won’t be issued until decades from now. That cannot be right, of course. Is there a smudge on the card? I try to wipe it off, then find myself a magnifying glass. No, it says 2020, which is absolutely bizarre. His home address is weird as well. It says he lives—or will live, as it were—at my friend’s house, the one with the infant daughter I just babysat. Only then do I notice the name. The baby’s name is Indra, and my grandfather’s was Darin. Those are anagrams of each other, which is not something I would have realized until seeing it here on the license, paired with the wrong surname. My grandfather was a time traveler. That’s the only explanation. He’ll grow up in the wrong body, undergo gender reassignment surgery, and then at some point, go back to the past, and become my mother’s father. I don’t know why, and I definitely don’t know how, but I know I have to do whatever I can to protect that baby...or I’ll never even exist.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Microstory 1562: Apples to Apples, Dust to Dust

Prompt
I have sensitive teeth, but I love the taste of fruit, so my own personal hell would be a room full of apples with no applesauce.

Botner
And I am not picky about the flavor, the texture, or even the actual taste of applesauce. I have no idea what sets one applesauce apart from another. I can’t tell the difference between Frosty Paws and the pricier Thompson brands, and I never understood those Velveeta Light Blend applesauces until I realized that they don’t even contain applesauce. The frozen bagged applesauce I bought specifically for ease of quick prepackaging was also made by Thompson’s, and as I did my research, that seemed to be the only one. The last bag I bought had a different look on the box. I asked the clerk about it, and she said, “oh, I can’t remember offhand which brand it is.” Which makes me wonder: which brand should a customer trust? The customer who works in the store, the customer who is savvy and research-savvy enough to see a difference on the box, or the one at the cash register? This is one reason I stopped purchasing “wet” applesauce and started buying the squeezy variety. Before, I had to use a spatula to even break the seal, and then to scrape the spoonful out, which was a Herculean chore. The “seal” that the bag placed over the applesauce as it cooked was just as gross.

Conclusion
I know, I’m getting a little off topic, but it’s important to understand what I’ve gone through if you’re going to follow the story. The other day, I bought applesauce, like I do. It’s a really easy side piece for my breakfast, because it doesn’t take any time to make, and coupled with cereal, I’m full until lunch. It was a different brand this time, because I couldn’t find what I really wanted, but I figured I would try it. It actually tasted really good, but I only had time for one bite before I had to leave the house. My cat retched on the carpet, and I freaked out. I called in sick to work, and just left all my food on the table while we went to the vet. Don’t worry, everything was fine with him, but the weird thing is, when I got home, the applesauce was gone, and inside the bowl was a fully-formed apple. I live alone, and don’t have any family. I don’t even give my neighbors a key for safety, because I don’t know them, and don’t care to. It’s obviously a prank, but I can’t think of who. I toss the apple in the fridge, and move on. The next day, though, I’m curious to see who’s coming into my house. I keep a camera in my cat’s favorite room, to keep an eye on him, but nowhere else. I have to move it from there, and point it at a second bowl of uneaten applesauce. There are too many possible entrances for me to cover all of them, but the dining area is in a central location. I have two computer monitors at work, but only technically need one, so I just keep the second on my camera stream the whole time, and look over every once in a while. I’m surprised to see a new apple in the bowl during one of these glances. I quickly rewind the feed, and am even more shocked to see that no one replaced my applesauce. It just happened. On its own. I watch it transform itself, like it’s somehow reversing entropy. That’s not all that happens, though. When I switch back to live, I find that the bowl itself turns into a mound of clay, and the rug I have rolled up in the corner because it needs to be cleaned turns into a leopard. I was told that it was not made of real leopard fur, which is annoying and terrible, but at least its alive now? It continues. All the walls in my house suddenly become trees, ultimately destroying the camera, so I can’t see what happens next. I bolt out of work without telling my boss, and race back home. Or rather, I race back to the forest that was once my home. It’s spreading, swallowing everything in its path. Frightened of what happens when it hits me, I turn around, and now try to drive away from the onslaught. I don’t make it far before my car literally breaks down, and becomes a hunk of minerals and oil. I climb out of the wreckage, and try to go on foot. This unseen force takes over me too, though. Beams of light shoot out of my skin as I sublimate into a dusty gas, and become a nanostar.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Microstory 1336: Shot to Hell

Product Surveyor: Thank you all for coming in. I mean, both. Thank you both for coming. Please have a seat. No, no, these are not refreshments. You’ll get a chance to sample all of the products, but I would like to start with introductions.
Tester 1: I’m Tester 1. I came into the mall to browse. I hear they’re shutting down, so I wanted to see whether it looked like a ghost town. I don’t have much to do with my life, so I figured I would come in here and see what this was all about.
Tester 2: My name is Tester 2. I too have nothing to do, but I also have no one to talk to. My landlord shut off my internet, so now I have no outlet for my opinions. I like to go around, answering surveys, so that at least someone will listen to me.
Product Surveyor: Okay, cool. Well, my name is Product Surveyor. I’ve been working for this company for two and a half years, but I’ve been using my expertise to conduct surveys for the last twelve.
Tester 2: That’s amazing, congratulations.
Product Surveyor: Thanks. First, I would like—
Tester 1: I too would like to congratulate you on your long and wonderful career.
Product Surveyor: Well, I appreciate that. Anyway, before we move forward, I want to point out that this is not an energy drink. And for legal reasons, nor is it medicine. Our marketing team has chosen to refer to these as Daily Cleansing Shots. My first question to you is, how does that name make you feel?
Tester 2: Well, we don’t know what it is. What exactly is it meant to do?
Tester 1: I too, must know what it is before I put my name on it.
Product Surveyor: No, you’re—you’re not putting your name on it. I just need to know, when you hear the phrase Daily Cleansing Shot, what does it make you think of?
Tester 1: Needle.
Tester 2: Doctor.
Tester 1: Evil.
Tester 2: Evil?
Tester 1: Yeah, like Dr. Evil.
Tester 2: Oh, okay. Umm...pinky.
Product Surveyor: All right, it’s not a word association chain. We’re really just trying to get your initial thoughts on Daily Cleansing Shot.
Tester 1: It makes me think of a needle, I said that.
Product Surveyor: Okay, I can accept that. It makes you think of needle shots. But you have heard of drink shots, correct?
Tester 2: My father was an alcoholic, so absolutely.
Product Surveyor: Okay, so that’s important to hear too. There are some negative connotations to the word shot. I will write that down.
Tester 1: I never said his alcoholism is a bad thing.
Product Surveyor: Right. Umm, why don’t you try the first cup there?
Tester 2: Ahhhhh.
Product Surveyor: Tester 1, do you want to try it?
Tester 1: It looks like he drank the whole thing.
Product Surveyor: No, you have your own. All these little cups here are yours. They’re each just one shot. You’re supposed to drink the whole thing. Yeah, whole thing. Tip it all the way up. You almost have it.
Tester 2: Is he okay?
Product Surveyor: Tester 1? Tester 1. I’m sure it’s all gone now. You don’t have to get every molecule.
Tester 1: Ahhhhh.
Product Surveyor: Now, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the taste of that first sample? We call it Mornin’ Orange.
Tester 1: Is it gonna make me poop?
Product Surveyor: I’m sorry?
Tester 1: Most cleanses make me poop.
Tester 2: Uh, I too, would like to know if it will make me poop. I can’t remember what underwear I’m wearing today.
Product Surveyor: Well, it’s not a laxative. It does have some fiber, which can regularize your bowels, but unless you have underlying medical conditions, you should always be able to make it to the restroom. Are bowel movements important to your daily health? Is it something you find yourself worrying about?
Tester 2: Not really. I could take it or leave it.
Product Surveyor: I’m not sure what that means. Did you two like the taste, or dislike it?
Tester 1: I love it.
Tester 2: That wasn’t one of the choices, dude. I liked the taste.
Product Surveyor: Okay. Why don’t you try the second one; the green one? While these are designed to be taken one shot each day, you get to choose when you want it, and it’s okay to have more than one, so don’t worry about that today. This one is better suited for lunchtime. We just call it...Verde.
Tester 1: Oh my God, no. Dislike, dislike!
Product Surveyor: Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that. Tester 2?
Tester 2: I already forgot what it tastes like.
Product Surveyor: So, that’s a zero from one, and a bland from the other.
Tester 1: Why are you writing this down?
Product Surveyor: This is a survey. We need to know your reactions to our products, so we can market them better.
Tester 2: I see, and then we get a cut.
Product Surveyor: This is an unpaid survey. The poster outside was very clear on that. We’re paying you with free samples of our products!
Tester 1: Well, which is it. Is it unpaid, or is it paid?
Tester 2: Yeah.
Tester 1: My brother used to be paid, but they let him go.
Tester 2: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where did he work?
Tester 1: I don’t know, I’ve never met ‘im.
Tester 2: I have a pretty good job. It’s called life. Maybe you’ve heard of it?
Tester 1: That’s my job too. Where do you live?
Tester 2: The whole universe is my home, my man.
Tester 1: That’s beautiful.
Product Surveyor: Would you please try the blue sample? Effervescent Evening is a dinner shot. Great, thanks; we...got it in one try. How did you like that?
Tester: I think I’m gonna go back to work.
Tester 2: Yeah, me too.
Product Surveyor: That’s wonderful. Thanks for stopping by. It was..profoundly unhelpful, and I hope you don’t find us at our next location.
Tester 1: Thanks.
Tester 2: Thanks! Hey, you wanna grab some food?
Tester 1: Nah, I just ate. It was these weird shots that you put in your mouth, instead of a needle in your butt...

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Microstory 1004: Blanche

I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want for me, but I’m not going to cry over someone I didn’t know. Thousands of people die every day, you expect me to mourn for every one of them? No? Just the ones in some arbitrary geographical radius? No, that can’t be right either, because I know people who live in Chile, and Mongolia. I bet you would care about them too, but not about all the other Chileans and Mongolians. Look, all I know about Viola came from rumors and second-hand conversations. I’m not going to comment on a topic on which I am not an authority. I have my own problems to deal with. My parents are worried that I’m a sociopath because I didn’t shed a single tear, or even attend the memorial service. Just because I’m not emotional about everything, doesn’t mean I’m not emotional about anything. But if you really need it, I will give you a story of a notable encounter I had with her. You’re new, so you may not know this. In a town so small, we basically have two stores. You can shop at the snooty rich joint, or you can come to the regular place that’s been here almost as long as Blast City itself. Viola Woods and her ilk do not shop at the old store, because it’s beneath them. They literally built the new store on top of a slightly taller hill, just so they could look down on us. Yet there she was one day in the valley, I guess to get a look at the funny little normal people who shop there, or in my case, work there. It didn’t look like someone had dared her to do it, but she didn’t look comfortable either. Maybe it’s just that her parents have never let her go in before, and she didn’t know where anything was, but she stood out like a sore thumb. And that’s about it! She bought a few single-serving boxes of cereal, some milk, and I think a magazine. She paid in cash, then she walked out. This was about a year ago, and she never came back. Real brush with grace, I know, I almost fainted. I sure do hope the rest of your interviews are more interesting than this, because you’ve just learned everything there is to know about the infamous duo of Viola and Blanche.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

The Advancement of Leona Matic: September 15, 2192

As instructed, they didn’t approach any of the people giving each other butterfly signals in 2191. First of all, they didn’t know what it meant. It seemed shady, but it could also be some strange new form of greeting that they weren’t privy to since they only existed one day out of the year. They couldn’t even be sure if the people were trying to say butterfly at all. To communicate the word in sign language, one was meant to wave their hands, as the flapping of wings, which none of them was doing. Vitalie, of course, was entirely convinced that this was some underground resistance movement, presently working against the Arianrhod occupation. They should have done better at keeping themselves informed about the events they missed during their interim years, on the arc, and elsewhere. If any rebels attempted to fight back sometime in the past, they definitely lost, and Ulinthra would have buried it. Now they had too little intelligence to go on. That night, they got together to discuss how they were going to proceed, ultimately deciding to wait until the next year, so they could have a fresh start.
“All right,” Leona began near the end of their latest breakfast meetings. “Brooke, you’re sure these heart trackers aren’t also listening devices.”
“I’m certain,” Brooke answered with a formal nod.
“Then on to Vitalie.”
“On to me?”
“I know your power doesn’t work with Ulinthra, and we think she has some time power blocker, but we’ve not until now had reason to use it elsewhere.”
“We should have tested it at some point,” Ecrin said.
“I’ve tested it,” Vitalie said, as if it were obvious. “I can go anywhere on Earth. It’s not easy, because I think that blocker she uses has minimal effect on me no matter what, but like you said, there was nothing to see.”
“In that case, you think you could stomach a trip to one of the common areas, like a shopping mall, or restaurant?” Leona asked.
“I could,” Vitalie said.
“Do you think you could take one of us with you?”
“I could take both,” Vitalie answered. She looked at Brooke with guilt. “Sorry, I don’t think I could take you.”
“I’m used to it,” Brooke said, not feeling left out.
“Then let’s go back,” Leona said, “and find someone giving what we think is a butterfly sign—”
They were suddenly in the marketplace.
“I didn’t mean right away,” Leona said.
Vitalie shrugged. “No use in waiting.” She took off her shirt, and started swinging it around like a lasso. “We’re invisible, by the way!” she shouted.
“Are our bodies just slumped in our chairs, back at the unit?” Ecrin questioned.
Vitalie pointed at her. “Uh, you fell to the floor. Don’t worry, you’re not hurt, and Brooke is carrying you to the couch.”
“Do you maintain a presence in both locations simultaneously?” Leona asked out of scientific curiosity.
“It’s like I’m wearing bifocals. I just adjust my focus to one or the other. It takes less than a second, and I can always kind of see both at the same time. I don’t think you can do that, though.”
Leona nodded understandingly. “Let’s walk around while we’re invisible. Keep your shirts on, though.”
“They’re not real shirts, Leona,” Vitalie needlessly reminded her.
“Look for a butterfly,” Leona continued. “Call out when you see it.”
It was a half hour before Ecrin saw two people give each other the secret sign. They seemed to be doing it a lot less than they did yesterday. A lot can happen in a year, and there was no way of knowing what these people had been through. Vitalie allowed the man and woman to see them, but no one else, so they could have a secret conversation.
“What does it mean when you do that?” Leona asked of them, trying to be careful about broaching the subject.
“When I do what?” the man asked.
Leona mimicked the movement. “When you interlock your thumbs like that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to leave, but Vitalie teleported Ecrin’s image right in front of them. “How did you do that?”
“You first,” Ecrin said.
He looked around in paranoia. “Not here.”
Ecrin swept her hand downwards, like a model at a game show. “Lead the way.”
“What are you?” the man asked after leading them to an empty storage room.
“We can’t be here physically,” Vitalie explained. “Ulinthra planted tracking devices on our hearts, so we have astrally project to have this conversation.”
Someone in the early 21st century would have needed that term explained to them, but enough science fiction had become science fact since then. While astral projection was not something other people could do, it was a concept that audiences these days would find easier to grasp. “Who is Ulinthra?”
“That’s Arianrhod’s real name,” Leona said.
His and the woman’s eyes widened as they looked at each other. “How do you know this? Do you use your...ghost powers to spy on her?”
“We go way back,” Leona replied. She looked to the other two, hesitating. But the cat was out of the bag, and they needed allies. “We’re time travelers, and so is she. If you’ve ever tried to do something against her, there’s a reason she always wins. She’s already been through it.”
He lifted his chin to think this over, not sure if he believed it, but wanting to entertain the possibility. “Then we have to be unpredictable.”
Vitalie shook her head. “She’s already lived through this day. Every time you try to be unpredictable, you could just be making the same unpredictable choice you did in the first timeline.” She surrounded the word in airquotes.
“I assume you don’t use real names,” Ecrin said, briefly changing the subject, and recalling her time in the IAC, where everyone had a callsign. “What are your designations?”
“I’m Gatekeeper,” the man said.
“Holly Blue,” the woman finally spoke.
“Are those butterflies?” Vitalie asked.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“We always suspected Arianrhod to be a fake name,” the woman now said enough for it to be clear she had an Irish accent. “It’s the name of a Celtic goddess, and means silver wheel. Who breaks the butterfly upon the wheel?”
“No one,” Leona understood. “Not if the butterflies fight back.”
“Assuming we believe you about the time travel thing,” Gatekeeper tried to begin, but was stopped when Vitalie walked right through the wall, and soon thereafter appeared through the other wall. “Okay, that’s pretty convincing, unless we’re having the same delusion.” He looked to Holly Blue, who indicated that she had seen it too. “You mean to tell me Arianrhod can go back in time, but only one day?”
“It’s not that she can do it,” Leona explained. “It’s that she has to. She experiences every day twice. And only twice. She can’t control it.”
“Well, what hope would we have?”
Vitalie then started in on the explanation of what they were doing with the penny; how their only hope of changing the timeline was by using Ulinthra.
The two revolutionaries understood the logic, and recognized the flaws. “What did you flip today?” they asked.
“We didn’t flip today,” Leona replied. “Our biggest problem now is that we don’t know what we can do against her. And we’re afraid of what she’ll do in retaliation. Whatever move we make, it has to be a final blow, because the consequences last time were too great.”
“But you said that was reversed?”
“They’re not gonna reverse the next one,” Ecrin said.
“We may be able to get something done,” Vitalie started, “if we work together. Now that we know about you, we stand a chance. How many are there in your group?”
Holly Blue and Gatekeeper looked at each other again. “Three,” he finally said.
The two of us, and one other,” Holly Blue added.
“How is that possible?” Leona asked. “Only three of you signed up?”
“Lots signed up,” Gatekeeper said. “They’re all dead now.”
“You act like you already know each other. Why the hand signal?”
“It’s not just to prove we’re rebels. We also use it to indicate that we need to talk, and that the coast is clear to do so.”
“Where’s the last one right now?”
“Monarch is our designated survivor,” Gatekeeper explained. “No one knows who they are. He or she stays out of sight until something goes wrong. If we all die, it’s up to them to start it back up again, which they’ll probably soon have to do. You seem like lovely people, but you’re still just three recruits.
“Barely recruits,” Holly Blue noted.
“Isn’t there something else you can do?” Gatekeeper asked. “Someone you can talk to? You said there are other time travelers. Can they help? Can you contact them?”
Leona knew a few people with potential. Unfortunately, Ulinthra never let her touch land, so she couldn’t dig a grave for Mr. Halifax. The Forger might be willing to help? Ecrin probably knew many choosers, so this was a good question for her to answer. She looked at her inquisitively, completely forgetting that Ecrin hadn’t been involved in her own personal thought process.
“What?” Ecrin asked.
“Do you know someone? Maybe you know someone that we don’t? Maybe someone that Ulinthra doesn’t know?”
“Ulinthra has the memory of countless versions of herself, from indefinite timelines. I don’t know who she knows. There may be someone, though. You’re not gonna like it, but he may be our best chance. There’s one thing we’ve not yet discussed, but I think we all know it needs to be on the table.”
“You’re talking about killing her,” Vitalie realized.
“I’m not killing anyone,” Leona said. “Not again.”
“That’s what I’m saying. You wouldn’t have to. When I was working for the coalition, there was a team we came across. They were deadly travelers, and we spent a lot of resources trying to catch them. I stepped into the field myself to work on it, even though I was mostly in administration.”
“Who is it?” Vitalie was intrigued.
“The leader is called The Maverick; his team, The Mavericks. Not very original.”
Leona nodded her head solemnly. “I met one of them once. Darrell, or something. He helped Gilbert go back into the extraction mirror, for his death.”
“Darrow,” Ecrin corrected. “We would probably want to deal with him only, since he can be reasoned with. The other two can be rather..insufferable. But we all have to agree to it, including Viceroy.”
“Viceroy?” Leona didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Yeah, the other one in our group...since we’re using butterfly codenames?”
She meant Brooke. “Right. Viceroy, yes. We’ll ask her, but I don’t see her taking issue with it. I suppose I always knew it would have to end like this. If the powers that be don’t step in, we may have no way of getting her to Beaver Haven.”
Vitalie was totally on board, as were Holly Blue and Gatekeeper, who assumed that was what everyone was going for anyway. After going over some secret protocols with their two new allies, the three of them jumped back into their own bodies. They needed a couple of things to reach the Maverick, though, so Ecrin went out in physical form to shop. She came back with a cloak, and a dagger. She hung the cloak up on the door, and used the dagger to cut a symbol into it twice. They looked like bird tracks. Once she was finished, she jabbed the dagger into the cloak, sticking it into the door.
Within seconds, the cloak started billowing out, until the figure of a man appeared inside of it. He reached behind him and pulled the dagger from his back before turning around. He smiled and shook his head when he saw it was Ecrin. “I bet you just loooved doing that.”
“I don’t love that you’re here,” Ecrin said. “But we need your help. We just don’t know when.”

Sunday, August 5, 2018

The Advancement of Leona Matic: September 14, 2191

           As Leona and her friends were frozen in place, watching the screen that was just playing the disappearance of entire arcology hanging tower, four other people stepped up beside them. It was the Warrior, Nerakali Preston, another man, and another woman.
“This is going to be a lot of work,” said the man.
“Did the entire planet see it?” Nerakali asked.
“We cut the stream before it could reach Mars,” the Warrior replied, “but we think it got as far as Luna.”
“Shit.”
“What’s going on here?” Leona asked them.
“Miss Matic, it’s nice to see you again,” the man said to her. “When I learned a few of our people were so close to the incident, we wanted to drop by first, and make sure you were okay.”
“We’ve not met for me yet.”
“We have,” he said with a smile. “I’m The Repairman. Your memories have been messed with, but it’s already happened for you.”
The other woman presented her hand. “And I’m The Stitcher. He and I do pretty much the same thing. The work just sometimes takes more than one person.”
“This time we need to the whole team.”
“The whole team for what?” Vitalie questioned. “What is it you do?”
“We fix noticed temporal anomalies,” the Repairman began to explain. “When normal humans witness something outside their comprehension of the way the laws of physics should work, we step in and make them forget that it ever happened.”
The Stitcher continued, “historically, it’s been enough for Nerakali to modify people’s memories. With something so pervasive, like this, or the Deathspring, it requires more drastic measures. Which is where we come in.”
“Drastic measures, like...?” Ecrin trailed off cautiously.
“Quantum overlap. We can merge realities. There’s a microreality out there where Ulinthra doesn’t massacre thousands of people, and those people don’t slip into a massive portal. We have to sort of...borrow that chunk of timeline, so people move on without a care. It’s not always pretty, but we try to make it as seamless as possible.”
“And Hogarth?” Brooke asked.
“Hogarth?” the Stitcher repeated?
“One of the Durune precursors,” Nerakali informed her.
“Ah, yes. Was she in the tower?”
“At the very bottom,” Leona said.
“If she wasn’t on one of the top floors, then she would still have been there when the tower fell. The Savior only rescued those who were in danger of people killed by the weapons,” the Warrior explained.
“Well, where did it go?” Ecrin asked.
The four visitors looked to each other. “We don’t actually  know,” the Repairman ended up saying.
“How could you not know?”
“There are other forces at play,” the Stitcher said.
“If it makes you feel any better,” Nerakali began, “it’s unlikely the people in that tower are dead. Very few choosers would be capable of generating a portal that large. Whoever it was wanted them alive.”
“Yes, but for what?” Leona asked, knowing she would receive no answer.
“We have to go,” the Warrior said definitively. “When you return next year, you four will be the only ones with any memory of this. We’ll even erase Ulinthra’s, so she doesn’t try it again.”
“If she doesn’t remember punishing us, she’ll just punish us some other way,” Leona pointed out. “Actually probably the same way, with some other tower.”
Nerakali shook her head. “She won’t. She’ll think she’s already done something to you, and I promise it won’t be as bad.”
Much to both hers and Nerakali’s surprise, Leona gently took Nerakali by the arm while she was trying to leave. “What do you know?”
Nerakali’s eyes darted towards the Warrior, who would have already killed her in the past of his timeline, or he wouldn’t have had her time power today. He didn’t look sorry about it, and she didn’t seem to have any sore feelings against him either. “Everything. This won’t be the last time you see me, so to stop you from asking me that question yet again, know this one thing.” She paused, struggling with the truth. I used to live in another dimension. The first thing I learned when I fell to your plane of existence...was how I was going to die. I’ve always been at peace with it, and have really just been going through the motions.” She smiled warmly, and tipped an imaginary hat. “I’ll see you on The Warren.”
“Anatol,” the Stitcher said, “please open a portal for us. We’ll start with Kansas City, and work our way through the spiral.”
 The Warrior drew a black hole in the middle of the room, through which the four of them disappeared.

The reality correction team was not lying when they said Leona, Ecrin, Brooke, and Vitalie would be the only ones to remember what happened to the hanging tower come next year. Common knowledge was that a software error caused one of the Panama arcs to be built with one fewer hanging towers than others of the same style. People accepted this completely, and just ignored the asymmetrical blank space on the bottom of the platform where it was meant to be.
Ulinthra seemed to be under the impression that she punished the group for Harrison’s murder by taking away a few of their amenities, like their synthesizers, as well as embedding tracking devices on their hearts. She didn’t explicitly say this, but these devices were almost certainly capable of killing them if they got out of line. Still, the group took a vote, and decided to recommence their plans to work against her by flipping a penny every day. Leona called Ulinthra to confirm what they were allowed to do, and where they were allowed to go, but of course, this was just a way of forcing Schrödinger’s cat to make up its damn mind about whether it was dead or not. When Vitalie flipped the coin, it landed on heads. This left the question of what they were going to actually do. It wasn’t like they had created a list of offensive maneuvers. Their only move was to steal the teleporter gun plans. They did still have those, but since their movements were now being tracked, it would be nearly impossible to access the nearest synthesizing machine, and build another one. Plus, they were now missing their engineering ringer, Hogarth, and Leona didn’t have the time or resources to make a full-functioning gun.
“There’s only one thing we can do from our current position,” Vitalie said.
“And what would that be?” Leona asked, having no clue what she was talking about.
“We have to tell the truth,” Vitalie replied.
“The truth about what?”
“About everything. About us, about her, and what she can do. We have to tell the world what we are. Isn’t that against some time law?” Vitalie asked.
“In a way, it is,” Leona said. “We’ve talked about this. While there is no formal law prohibiting revealing our powers—which is why you’ve always been free to tell your loved ones, if you so wished—if you take it too far, Beaver Havens steps in.”
Vitalie nodded once. “That’s exactly what we need.”
“Brooke had it right before. We would be locked up, instead of Ulinthra, and she would be free to continue.”
“Right now, Earth is not my concern,” Vitalie said. “Right now, we are the ones in the most danger. At the moment, I would rather be in prison than this arc.”
“Are we really considering sending ourselves to jail?” Brooke wasn’t convinced. “Even if that’s the safest for us, that doesn’t change the fact that we’ve exposed all choosers and salmon. There’s a reason they would lock us up.”
“We could find a way to threaten exposure. We’ll do just enough to get their attention, but not actually say anything,” Vitalie suggested.
“I don’t see how we could fake it like that, and besides, Brooke can’t go,” Leona reminded them. “Anything we try like that will automatically exclude her.”
“Well, don’t make decisions on my account,” Brooke groaned. She was getting tired of feeling like a burden.
“I’m all out of ideas,” Vitalie said, literally throwing up her arms. “I came up with the penny thing. I guess I didn’t consider what we were meant to actually do on head days. If you’re not willing to go to prison, then I can’t even.”
Leona looked over to Ecrin. “You’ve been quiet. What is your opinion on this whole thing?”
“Do you think the penny thing is just dumb?” Vitalie asked as well.
“No,” Ecrin replied clearly. “We have to be able to take action, and the penny is our best vehicle for that. But Brooke can’t go to prison, and I’m sorry, Brooke, but we are going to take that into account with everything we try. You guys are missing the obvious answer, though.”
Leona tried to think. “What would that be?”
“You keep looking for some time power solution. But look at where we are. No one in Panama wants to be controlled by the Arianation. In fact, most of the Arianation on the whole wants nothing to do with her. It’s just that her followers are too powerful.”
“Okay...”
“We need to connect with the resistance movement. The human resistance movement; the ones who don’t know she has powers, and are trying to get rid of her.”
“Great. Do you know where they are, or who they are? Because I haven’t heard a single mention of such a group.”
“I don’t know anything about them,” Ecrin admitted, “but I know they must exist. They couldn’t not. There must be a way to find them, though. All we need to do is figure out who is hurting the most from her being here.”
“I’m sure they do exist,” Leona agreed. But they would be squashed in a second, because Ulinthra will always see it coming. Always”
“That’s because they don’t have our penny advantage.” She smiled at Vitalie. “We find them, we tell them—and only them—what we know. Beaver Haven won’t care if we just do that. We don’t even have to be there. The humans will do the work for us. In one year’s time, this could be all over.”
“Or it isn’t over,” Brooke argued. “Because even without her power advantage, Ulinthra still has a lot of loyalty. Overthrowing governments is always difficult.”
“I think we should try,” Ecrin said.
“I do too,” Vitalie said, always ready for a fight.
Leona didn’t see how this could make any difference. People had been fighting against her this whole time, and even Ulinthra wasn’t invulnerable. She only ever lived through each day twice, so once she gathered all intelligence on her enemies, everything would be altered as soon as she made a single move. Once she changed the timeline, she would lose that foreknowledge. Yet she was still not only in as much control as she had been, but more. In just the last few years, she was already making moves against the smaller Class D arcstates, like Rwanda, and Ecuador. She was showing no chance of slowing, and her opposition was showing no hope of keeping her at bay. “Brooke, if you agree with me, the penny will need to be the tiebreaker.”
Brooke stared into space for a pretty long time. “No need.” She looked at Leona with a hint of embarrassment. “I think we should go for it.”
“Okay,” Leona said, knowing she had been beat, and deciding not to argue the matter further. “Since they took our synthesizers anyway, we have a great opportunity to do some recon. Let’s go shopping, in pairs. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t ask anyone how they feel about the Arianrhod regime. Just observe. One thing we’ve been missing these several days is social interaction. We need to know better what it’s like to live in one of the arcs when you don’t know the king personally. Look for recurring tattoos, or multiple people wearing the same ribbons on their belt loops. It could be anything; just as long as it’s suspiciously prevalent, but not glaringly conspicuous. Again, do not approach anyone. We’ll report back to each other at the end of the day, and decide what to do about it tomorrow, if anything.”
They went out to look for clues, and returned that night having all noticed the same literal sign; the one for butterfly.