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Monday, April 2, 2018

Microstory 811: Inevitable

I was about fourteen years old when my parents sat me down and told me that they were time travelers. They both had the ability to go back in time, as far as the last day, which gave them enough to try things over. In fact, my mother was even more powerful, being capable of trying things over and over and unlimited number of times. I had always wondered why she was so freaking perfect. And there was that one time she caught me just as I was falling out of the tree, even though she had been nowhere near me. My dad could only do it once. I remember asking them whether I would eventually develop the same powers, and they told me I was more likely to have the same limitations as my father, since there seemed to be some gender component, but I could also end up with nothing. I would come to find out several years later that it would be inaccurate to call what I could do powers. I appeared to have no control over when it was more like time travel was happening to me, rather than me traveling. I first noticed it when I was on a date with this guy from my history class. A waiter spilled sauce on my best outfit; which involved a blazer that I actually bought specifically for this occasion, because I wanted my date to think I was more sophisticated, and didn’t just wear grunge band concert tees. As the waiter was apologizing, and sending the hostess to grab some club soda from the kitchen, I was suddenly sent back to the morning, not long after I had woken up.

Okay, great, I thought. Now I can try this again. Except that it took a lot out of me to get tickets for this restaurant, and I still needed to impress my date. I knew I would be able to pull the reservation up thirty minutes, hoping that would be enough to change my fate, but it wasn’t. I bought a different jacket; still nice, but any way I could alter the timeline seemed like a good idea. We arrived at the earlier reservation, were seated at a different table, and we even had a different waiter. Yet, this one spilled sauce on me as well, as if I were simply destined for that. But that couldn’t be true, it would be ridiculous. I was thrown back in time once more, and changed a bunch of other things, including several times just finding a different restaurant. But it happened. Every single time. This was sauce night, and there was no way around it. I thought I was cursed, but once I gave up wanting to change the timeline, the magical time gods gave up on me too. I was finally able to get through the rest of the night, and wake up the next to him. So in the end, it didn’t really matter. I guess I should have realized that he wouldn’t hold that against me. I still had to get this timeline’s blazer dry cleaned, though. A few days later, I went back to the cleaner’s to pick up my jacket, and found about three thousand dollars stuffed into the pockets, theoretically by accident. I never found out how it happened. So yeah, that’s how I came up with the capital to start my business. Good things just happen to me, I don’t work at all.

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