Microstory 820: Attack Dogs

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This is what happened. The neighborhood’s crazy old man was trapping rabbits in a tiny icey stream in the backyard, so he could tie them to fireworks. He forced me to chase after the rabbits so he could torture them first, but I was purposely failing. Instead, I caught two stray dogs. The dogs had been living in a series of rabbit tunnels that should have been too small for them. The owner teleported in immediately. He acted like the dogs were barking and screaming at me, but then I realized he abused them, so I ordered them to attack him. While attacking, the two dogs became five dogs, and I helped by kicking the evil owner. Now I had five dogs I couldn’t take care of. As I was wondering what to do with the dogs, spacetime shifted around me. Our base had been ransacked...blood smeared on the walls. The ordeal with the dogs had altered the timeline. Now a rival spy agency had taken over our operations, which accidentally destroyed the world. My spy agency and I were in the middle of our last stand against the rivals. But they were too strong...it was going to be a slaughter. The last of my spy agency and I fled to a bulletproof car. Two of our people sacrificed themselves to push our car over the edge of a cliff. We fell backwards in the car down the side of the cliff in slow motion. We knew we would survive, and that the other two wouldn’t. Unfortunately, the car was impenetrable. Once at the bottom of the cliff, we couldn’t even get out. We eventually starved to death. Do you have any idea what it feels like to starve trapped in a car? Your holographic simulator is clearly broken; it’s combining multiple programs into one. I demand a refund.