The Advancement of Mateo Matic: June 20, 2398

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They took it slow. Marie first drove them into a more rural area of Germany, then had to return the controls to Ramses, so he could fly them over some of Eastern Europe, taking a little bit of a scenic route to avoid Czechian airspace. When they landed in Ukraine, they drove to the nearest dock, and floated for a little bit until submerging, and going the rest of the way through the Black Sea underwater. They reached the shores of Türkiye at around 4:00 in the morning on June 19. They weren’t at a port, though, because then they would have to register as visitors. To sneak in, they arrived at the most underpopulated area they could find, and performed a little trick.

The Olimpia can’t just transition from water to ground seamlessly. It has to roll up a ramp, and of course, that ramp has to be big and sturdy enough to accommodate it. That wouldn’t work here, so they needed a work around. In aircraft mode, it’s best to fly up as fast as possible. Vertical take-off and hovering takes a lot more energy than a normal runway launch, and forward propulsion, because it’s not drawing in ambient air to power it, among other reasons. But they can spend some fuel to make this happen, allowing them to essentially hop out of the water, and land on the road. They can’t fly as high as they would during a real trip, because then radar could spot them. Again, it’s not ideal, but necessary in this situation to meet their objective. They had to get into Türkiye undetected, and make it most of the way across the country, also undetected.

They hid in dense vegetation most of the day, but didn’t feel compelled to wait until nightfall, because they wouldn’t reach any street cameras until about halfway into this leg. Now it’s 4:00 in the morning again, and it’s time to get a sample of this Death water, hoping that it can do what Ramses believes. If not, they’ll just travel to Croatia via the Mediterranean Sea. They’ll actually probably head that way while he works.

“Hurry up, and get what you need,” Marie whispers. “This area opens to visitors in about two and a half hours, but who knows when a staff member might show up to...I dunno, pick up trash, or whatever?”

Ramses drops his bag on the ground, generating a clanking sound.

“Shh,” she whispers loudly to him. “What is in there?”

“This.” He pulls out a metal tank that’s probably large enough to fit five gallons.

“What the hell is that?” Mateo questions.

“Do I have to answer that for you, or is it rhetorical?”

“I thought you only needed a tiny sample,” Marie complains.

“We only need a sample,” Ramses agrees, “but we don’t want to come back here in the future, do we? While we’re at it, we might as well stock up. I don’t now how useful this stuff could become.” He dips it in the pool, and lets it fill up.

“It’s poison,” Marie reminds him.

“Well, I don’t plan on using it for that. If we happened to be in the Atacama Desert instead, I would take as much as I could of Body water.”

“What does Body water do?” Marie asks.

“No one knows.” As Ramses is lifting the tank up, and holding it while Mateo screws on the lid, they hear a commotion nearby.

All of the sudden, a strike team descends upon them, flaghlights and firearms drawn. A figure of authority, face still blocked by shadow, steps closer to the trio. “Is this it?” the forger, Winona Honeycutt’s voice asks. “Is this what gives you your power?”

“You’re going to spark an international incident if you try to take it,” Marie says, stepping towards her.

“It looks like you’re taking it,” Winona replies.

“We were thirsty.” Ramses struggles to lift the tank up to his mouth, then partakes when Mateo steadies it for him. If his theory is correct, it shouldn’t be poisonous without some good old fashioned temporal energy.

“Hand it over,” Winona demands.

Mateo screws the lid back on, and begins to place it in the bag.

“I said, hand it over,” she repeats more earnestly.

“Remember how I told you we would do anything to protect ourselves and each other?” Mateo asks her.

“Stabbing yourself isn’t gonna help you this time,” Winona explains. “We have a medic on standby right here, and our own doctor back on the plane.”

“I don’t intend to stab myself. I’m reminding you that you’re out of your league.”

“My dear,” Winona begins. “It is you who is out of his league. My father and I are playing chess, while you’re playing checkers.”

Mateo chuckles. “Then neither of us can win. We’re not using the same pieces. We’re not even on the same game board. Your advantage is an illusion.”

“My advantage looks like a battery of guns,” she counters, indicating her people.

That’s true, Mateo is really just stalling, and it sounds like he and Ramses did so for as long as necessary. They hear an explosion in the distance. Lights fill the sky. Everyone looks over to find more explosions, and more lights. Someone has set up a fireworks show. It’s incredibly odd timing. In any reality, he would assume it was a cognizant friend, or even a future version of himself, creating a diversion, but here, it must just be a coincidence.

Whatever the cause, it’s enough. Mateo feels himself being pulled over the edge of the pool, and into the water. A surge of energy overwhelms his body, and snaps him away, delivering him to the ground beside the Olimpia.

A woman comes around the corner holding a gun. “Stop right there!”

Marie stands up, and hits her in the forehead—not like a boxer, but with the precision of a grasshopper. She falls to the ground, unconscious. She stands with her friends for half a moment. “No jokes about how fitting it was for a woman to get into a fight with another woman.”

“Fight?” Mateo echoes. “That was a savage takedown.”

“We gotta go.” Ramses opens the door, and climbs in, followed by Marie and Mateo. “Hey, Olimpia, engage Escape Pattern Alpha.”

“Acknowledged. Initiating.” The plane takes off, and heads for the dark skies.

“How did we teleport?” Marie asks.

“I’m the one who teleported,” Ramses answers her. He shows them a syringe. “This is why I’m confident I can make the abortion bullet—”

“Don’t call it that.”

“I’ve figured out how to synthesize temporal energy,” he continues. “It’s only temporary, so I could inject you two too, but I think I have a better idea.”

Microstory 1393: Terror

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Fertilizer Developer: Terror Guard 1, Terror Guard 2, Terror Guard 3. This is Fiore Stern. He’s very excited to start working with us, aren’t you, Fiore?

Fiore Stern: Uh. I am.

Fertilizer Developer: Great. Well, he needs to go through clearance, so go ahead and take care of that for me. I’ll be back for ya in two days.

Fiore Stern: Two days? Just how long is this thing?

Terror Guard 1: The interview will only take a few minutes.

Terror Guard 2: But we’ll need to test your loyalty.

Terror Guard 3: That will be the hardest thirty-six hours of your life.

Fiore Stern: Now you’re scaring me.

Terror Guard 1: You should be scared.

Terror Guard 2: This job is not for the faint of heart.

Terror Guard 3: Are you ready?

Fiore Stern: I am. Ask your questions. I’m up for anything, even if it hurts.

Terror Guard 1: We don’t have access to your résumé, so if you’ve already answered these before...we don’t apologize. If you can’t handle a little bit of repetition, you won’t survive here.

Terror Guard 2: Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

Fiore Stern: Yes. I went to prison for two years.

Terror Guard 3: For what?

Fiore Stern: Animal cruelty.

Terror Guard 2: Are you guilty?

Fiore Stern: Indeed.

Terror Guard 1: Do you regret what you did?

Fiore Stern: I was just doing an experiment. I wanted to see how long it would take for the stray cat to die if I kept from feeding it.

Terror Guard 2: So you’re a curious fellow. That’s both a good, and a bad, thing here.

Terror Guard 3: We want you to want to understand the world.

Terror Guard 2: And we want you to want to make it better.

Terror Guard 1: But there are things about our organization that you will not be allowed to know.

Terror Guard 3: Some doors will always be closed to you.

Fiore Stern: I understand.

Terror Guard 3: You will be expected to question authority.

Terror Guard 1: Unless that authority is us.

Fiore Stern: Naturally. I want to do what I can to help.

Terror Guard 2: Good. Have you ever made or used a bomb before?

Fiore Stern: Does a cherry bomb count? Or should I say bombs. I once blew up my neighbor’s garden with thirty cherry bombs.

Terror Guard 1: Really? Terror Guard 3?

Terror Guard 3: That’s worth about an eighth of a stick of dynamite.

Terror Guard 2: Were you not arrested for this as well?

Fiore Stern: This was back when I was a little kid. And no one ever found out what I did. She killed my dog with poison, so I wanted to make sure she couldn’t do that again.

Terror Guard 2: Did you love that dog?

Fiore Stern: No, but I don’t like when people work against me, whether the act itself bothers me or not.

Terror Guard 1: Justice. That’s exactly what we’re all about.

Fiore Stern: I can appreciate that. I don’t know much about explosives, except that fertilizer can be used for it. So I assume that’s what you do. I’m eager to learn, but I kind of have a thing for poisonous plants, so if there’s anything I can do on that front, I sure wouldn’t mind.

Terror Guard 1: You won’t be much involved in the engineering department; not until you prove yourself, at least. You’ll definitely be working with plants, but only so the authorities don’t figure out what we’re really up to.

Fiore Stern: It would be an honor to protect you.

Terror Guard 1: Good. I think he’s ready. Don’t you?

Terror Guard 2: I do.

Terror Guard 3: As do I.

Fiore Stern: Absolutely.

Terror Guard 3: Then put this over your head. Welcome to hell, kid.

Microstory 820: Attack Dogs

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This is what happened. The neighborhood’s crazy old man was trapping rabbits in a tiny icey stream in the backyard, so he could tie them to fireworks. He forced me to chase after the rabbits so he could torture them first, but I was purposely failing. Instead, I caught two stray dogs. The dogs had been living in a series of rabbit tunnels that should have been too small for them. The owner teleported in immediately. He acted like the dogs were barking and screaming at me, but then I realized he abused them, so I ordered them to attack him. While attacking, the two dogs became five dogs, and I helped by kicking the evil owner. Now I had five dogs I couldn’t take care of. As I was wondering what to do with the dogs, spacetime shifted around me. Our base had been ransacked...blood smeared on the walls. The ordeal with the dogs had altered the timeline. Now a rival spy agency had taken over our operations, which accidentally destroyed the world. My spy agency and I were in the middle of our last stand against the rivals. But they were too strong...it was going to be a slaughter. The last of my spy agency and I fled to a bulletproof car. Two of our people sacrificed themselves to push our car over the edge of a cliff. We fell backwards in the car down the side of the cliff in slow motion. We knew we would survive, and that the other two wouldn’t. Unfortunately, the car was impenetrable. Once at the bottom of the cliff, we couldn’t even get out. We eventually starved to death. Do you have any idea what it feels like to starve trapped in a car? Your holographic simulator is clearly broken; it’s combining multiple programs into one. I demand a refund.

Siftens Landing Part V

Click here for the first installment of this series.

Click here for the second installment of this series.
Click here for the third installment of this series.
Click here for the fourth installment of this series.

Father Siften, Sabrina Lander, Ryan Lander, and Madam Kapka were out looking for little Moe when the explosion came from behind them. They ran towards it, stumbling onto the bottom of the hill where Billy and Kyle were lifting an unconscious Allison from the ground. “Oh my god,” Father Siften yelled.

“She’s okay,” little Moe assured him. And she really was okay. She would have a nasty bump on the head, but she would live.

“We have to get back to the houses,” Sabrina exclaimed. They raced up to meet the horror. The Siften house was on fire, and the flames were licking at the side of the Kapka house. They got there just in time to hear the sirens from emergency services. They did a headcount and found that the only two who were not present were Mama Siften and Mister Kapka, who were each known to be out running errands.

While Father Siften was coordinating with the sheriff, Ryan was talking with the kids who had caused the explosion. “How did this happen?” he asked.

“We’re sorry,” his daughter, Libby answered. “We just wanted to look at your fireworks.”

“Was this the work of my Ferocity Sunstrikers?” The children kept their heads down in shame, but nodded affirmatively. A deputy had heard the conversation.

Madam Kapka, who was a veterinarian, was treating Allison’s wound since the paramedics hadn’t arrived yet. Allison woke up confused and backed away. “No, no, honey. It’s okay. It’s me.”

“I don’t know who you are,” Allison said in fear.

“This is my mother,” Kyle explained to her.” His voice was enough to calm her down.

“What happened to her?” Madam Kapka asked while continuing to work.

The boys were afraid to answer, but Billy decided to be the bigger man. “Kyle and I were fighting, and we accidently bumped into her, so she fell down the hill.”

“Is anyone else hurt?” Madam Kapka asked after she had done all there was to do with Allison’s head.

“No,” Kyle replied. A second deputy had heard the conversation.

The firetruck finally arrived, followed closely by the ambulance. The firefighters sprayed the house with water while paramedics loaded Allison up and drove her away. A few other firefighters went into the house, even though there were told that no one was in there. The deputy and the sheriff spent some time whispering to each other over to the side, trying to figure out what they were going to do. In the end, it was decided that the children would be separated from their parents, and that the parents would be brought in under suspicion of some form of child abuse. The parents and children screamed and pulled away from the cops, trying to reach each other. Then they all stopped and watched as one of the firefighters came out of the Siften house carrying a body. It was Mama Siften. She had come back without anyone knowing. The firefighter shook his head at his superior. She was dead.
Days later, after all legal charges were dropped, everyone moved away from each other, and never went back to the hidden cul-de-sac again. Once she graduated from high school, Allison ran off with Kyle, and they haven’t spoken to their respective families since.

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Honestly, I'm glad that's over. Now I can start on the stories that I really want to tell. Next Saturday will be the premiere of Mr. Muxley Meets Mediocrity.

Siftens Landing Part IV

Click here for the first installment of this series.

Click here for the second installment of this series.
Click here for the third installment of this series.

Allison Siften’s younger brother, Junior would turn out to be the cause of the explosion. While all six of the parents went out to search for Moe, he and Libby Lander were asked to keep the two youngest children from the new family company. They had a lot in common with Sandra and Johnny Kapka. They liked playing video games, they hated conformists, and they couldn’t care less that their families were in this weird unspoken feud. While Libby and Johnny played against each other in a racing game, Sandra watched with an air of superiority, and Junior sat restlessly. He wanted to do something interesting. He wanted to do something fun. He wanted to do something dangerous. “I have some firecrackers,” he announced.

The other three stood up from the couch immediately. “Let’s go!” Johnny said excitedly.

They spent the rest of the day shooting off fireworks clear on the other side of the forest, so they wouldn’t get caught. They had found another thing in common; a love for destruction. They were quickly unsatisfied with the firecrackers themselves, and started rigging them to blow up other things. A computer monitor here, a bottle of cola there. They tried to use a pile of dead grass as shrapnel, but it wasn’t as glorious as they had hoped. Once they had depleted their supplies, Junior said, “We could always get the Ferocity Sunstrikers.”

“What are Ferocity Sunstrikers?” Sandra asked.
“They’re the biggest firecrackers ever created by human man,” Libby explained. “And they aren’t his. They belong to my dad.”“They’re basically legal bombs,” Junior continued. They went back down to the houses to retrieve the legendary fireworks from the Landers’ garage. The box got caught on some rope that someone had put in front of it. Junior tugged and pulled, trying to get it out. He was always so impatient and thoughtless. After one last try, he fell to his back. The box opened, spilling the Ferocity Sunstrikers. One of them started rolling down the garage and out to the driveway. They tried to catch it, but it was too fast. Junior had no idea how, but the Sunstriker activated and shot across the lawn. They watched as it flew right into his own garage, and exploded, sending a massive plume of fire up through the house, and out of the roof. Click here for the final installment...