I was never a singer. I joined Random Spans under the assumption that I would not have to sing. But all that changed when Pearl started being able to come to rehearsal less and less, and it started looking like I was going to have to fill in for her. I wouldn’t have even considered it, but Chester and Bert—God love ‘em—are even worse than I am. Of course, the obvious solution is to just find a replacement, but those two were really dragging their feet. Pearl didn’t really feel like she could be honest with them about how her lifestyle was going to have to change because of the baby. Guys have trouble wrapping their brains around what goes into carrying, delivering, and caring for a child. That’s not to say a father’s life doesn’t change too, but it’s different for mothers. Pretty much your whole life revolves around this living creature, and any moment you’re not with them, you’re comparing whatever it is you’re doing to being with them. Everything you see will remind you of your child, or remind you that you would rather be with your child, or that you’re glad to have a break from your child. So Pearl left, leaving me to pick up the pieces of our band, even though I was not equipped for it. Fortunately, I had a great friend named Viola, who was able to help me out with it. Had she not died, I probably never would have heard whispers of other crazy stories about her, so I’m only telling you this, because I know it’s not going to shock you any more. She definitely had powers, and I have tangible proof of it. When I was a kid, my older sister used to make us put on plays and musicals for our family during the holidays. She wrote, starred in, and directed all of our productions, but the rest of the grandkids were expected to participate. So I actually have a lot of experience singing; more than enough to know that I had a terrible voice. You can hear for yourself how bad I was. The videos are unlisted online, but I can get you the links, if you want to risk your ear drums. The point is that this all changed as Pearl’s tenure in our band was winding down. Viola started giving me vocal lessons a few times a week. I don’t know how she found the time to help me, and help all those other people, but I’m grateful for it. I don’t really know what she was meant to be teaching me, but it was all nonsense. Nothing she said during our lessons was at all logical, but I realized later that it didn’t matter. She wasn’t actually teaching me to sing, but instead imbuing me with the power to sing, and using the lessons as cover. To be sure, I don’t know how she did that either, but I know that’s what she did, because she wasn’t the first vocal coach I’ve had, and nobody improves that quickly without supernatural assistance. This whole frontwoman thing might just work out after all.
No comments :
Post a Comment