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I finished my work hours a little early, so my parole officer could pick me
up, and drive me back to jail, but I wasn’t staying there as a guest. I had
a meeting with the warden, which was agitating the butterflies in my
stomach. I put it like that, because I always keep butterflies in there,
they just don’t always move around this much. As it turns out, it wasn’t
bad, but I’m not so sure that it was good either. He read my story, as he
apparently does every evening, and he thought that I had some good ideas. I
hadn’t even realized that I had presented any ideas, but this was in regards
to the disharmony that sometimes arises when guests that don’t get along
well with each other are forced to live together in an enclosed space. To
me, that’s kind of the definition of jail and prison, but he wants to find a
way to put an end to it anyway. That sounds like a lovely sentiment, but I’m
not sure that it can be done. Perhaps with a sufficiently advanced
artificial intelligence, you could figure out how to accurately profile and
categorize everyone in need of being housed in the system with as many
labels as necessary, and organize them to prevent gang conflicts, or other
major disagreements. But here’s the thing, you wouldn’t just want to stop
two gangs from going to war with each other, you would want the gang to stop
from forming in the first place, or they’ll just translate all that into the
outside world once their sentences were up. That’s why you can’t just sit
down with everyone’s psych profile, and sort them like you’re simply
planning the seating arrangements for a wedding reception.
If you think that I’m being dismissive of how difficult it is to plan a
wedding, you’re mistaken. Wedding receptions are hard. This would be
virtually impossible. First thoughts, you’re gonna need a team of behavioral
psychologists, and sociologists, and who knows what else, maybe a
logistician? See, I couldn’t even tell you how to form the team. While it
might have kind of been my idea, I can’t be a part of it. But that’s what he
wants. He wants me to start a taskforce of sorts to figure out how to
schedule the guests at the jail. But you would have to account for people’s
job situations, the judges’ particular rulings on each person’s specific
sentence. Again, I think you need an AI to do all this for you. Even a
team probably wouldn’t be able to figure it out. I didn’t say no to
the request, because you don’t say no to a warden, but I’ve not
agreed to it either. I would need to discuss it with my lawyers, and my
current employer... It would eat into the time I need for my site and
socials. It would also seem weird to me if I were both a staff member of the
jail, and a guest who had no choice but to be there for 48 hours a week
straight. I know that prisons have work programs, but this is not the same
thing as shelving books in the library, or renovating the CO break room.
Those are references that, fortunately, none of you gets. Anyway, I guess
this is more a long-term shift in strategies. The warden says that if this
hypothetical pilot program works, they could theoretically institute it at
other facilities. I suppose nothing would really start until after I
completed my sentence, assuming any of this gets off the ground, and that
there’s a place for me in it at all, which sounds ridiculous right now.
Until then (or until never) I’ll just go back to doing my thang, and not
worry much about it. The stress would not get me anywhere. My butterflies
move around enough as it is.
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