Microstory 2044: Nevada

< > Table of Contents

Even though he hasn’t been to all fifty states, my dad travels a lot too. He is a photojournalist, so he takes pictures for news websites. He works as a freelancer, so he doesn’t just work for one site. He usually stays around where he lives, but he sometimes has to go out to other areas. Actually, the reason that he and my papa met on the train in Kentucky is because he was there to photograph the completion of a new college outside of Louisville, which was partially funded by someone who lived in his part of Virginia. He usually only leaves the state when there’s a connection to the local area, but a few years ago, in the year 2020, he wanted to go to Nevada. Dad also went to college, and met friends. One of his friends was a soldier who lost one of his legs in the war. He lived in Nevada, and wanted to raise awareness for something called veteran healthcare, so he set about to take the longest hike on a single leg. He carried a pack on his back, and only used a cane to support himself. He walked 17 miles all in one day! Isn’t that impressive? I couldn’t even do it with two legs. My dad was there to photograph the whole journey, so he also walked the 17 miles. My papa went on the trip with him, but he didn’t do much hiking. He dropped them off at the beginning of the trail, and then picked them up at the end. I stayed here with my cousins, since I had school.

Microstory 1384: Journalistic Objectivity

< > Table of Contents

Celebrity Interviewer: Truth be told, I do not care for being on this side of the interview.

Entertainment News Colleague: We’ve not even begun.

Celebrity Interviewer: There. That’s the attitude I had, and I was fired for it.

Entertainment News Colleague: Like I said, we haven’t begun.

Celebrity Interviewer: Ugh. I know.

Entertainment News Colleague: We don’t have to do this. I can go run with another story.

Celebrity Interviewer: No, I’m here. I wanna tell my side of the story.

Entertainment News Colleague: Your story is that you were fired recently. Tell me about what precipitated that.

Celebrity Interviewer: First of all, I want to make sure the public understands that I’ve learned my lesson. Journalistic objectivity isn’t something to be taken lightly, but it’s also something that’s very easy to lose sight of. I wouldn’t have gotten the job in the first place if I had developed a reputation of being completely unbiased during my earlier reporting. It starts off small. You make one quip here, inject a bit of your own personal opinion, and it snowballs. I didn’t realize how bad my work had gotten until I watched that supercut.

Entertainment News Colleague: You’re referring to the viral video going around the internet that shows you disrespecting your interviewees.

Celebrity Interviewer: Yes, that’s right. Obviously, I always watch my own interviews, but seeing the worst parts of them all stitched together really opened up my eyes. I was, as you said, disrespectful, and dishonorable. I don’t do that anymore.

Entertainment News Colleague: How did you react when you learned your former assistant is the one who edited and uploaded that supercut?

Celebrity Interviewer: I was relieved and proud of her. She saw an injustice, and she took it upon herself to report that.

Entertainment News Colleague: So, you weren’t mad?

Celebrity Interviewer: Absolutely not. We’re still really great friends. And I don’t mean that as a polite white lie for the public to believe. We really are, and I’m sure she’ll corroborate that.

Entertainment News Colleague: But she’s no longer your assistant.

Celebrity Interviewer: Of course she isn’t. She’s going places, and I wouldn’t have wanted her career to stall by wasting her time managing my calendar, and getting me coffee.

Entertainment News Colleague: Okay. So you mentioned that you don’t conduct interviews in the way you were criticized for doing. I assume that means you’ve gotten another job as a reporter?

Celebrity Interviewer: Yes. I had no shortage of offers from competing media organizations after I was fired. Unfortunately, I had to wait six months before I could accept any one of them, because I signed a standard six-month non-compete clause with my former employer.

Entertainment News Colleague: Was your new employer sympathetic to your situation, or did they agree with your critics?

Celebrity Interviewer: I don’t think those two are mutually exclusive. They agreed completely with my critics. They knew, however, that I would never do it again, because the whole situation humiliated me, and I don’t want to feel like that again. The six months I was unemployed were pretty difficult. I had trouble keeping up with my bills and rent payments. I was never living under and overpass, or anything, but it was rough. Honestly, I believe my former employer would have hired me back, knowing I’ve corrected my behavior, but that would have been bad publicity.

Entertainment News Colleague: So, you harbor no resentment from them?

Celebrity Interviewer: I harbor no resentment for anyone.

Entertainment News Colleague: What about Ex-Cop? Your interview with him was said to be the last straw.

Celebrity Interviewer: Legally speaking, I’m not allowed to discuss Ex-Cop, the scrapped film he was cast in to play himself, the interview itself, or anything related.

Entertainment News Colleague: Okay. So, you said you had some financial troubles after you were let go. But your public image doesn’t seemed to have taken a hit.

Celebrity Interviewer: That’s true, and part of the reason I was able to get hired again so quickly. The public was actually on my side. Most of them couldn’t see anything wrong with how I treated my interviewees, or the news itself. But that’s because they’re not journalists, who agreed to be impartial, objective, and unbiased. I’m grateful for them, for sticking by me, but that doesn’t make what I did okay. I still apologize to my audience for that.

Entertainment News Colleague: Well, I would say good luck with your career, but that wouldn’t be very unbiased of me, so instead, I’ll just say thank you for the interview.

Celebrity Interviewer: Thank you as well. I appreciate the opportunity to explain myself.

Microstory 1334: Unwanted

< > Table of Contents

Therapist: My receptionist reported that you sounded a little upset on the phone when she was confirming your appointment. Is everything okay?

Journalism Student: Oh, it’s not a big deal. I don’t even know why I was crying about it.

Therapist: You were crying?

Journalism Student: Just a little. Again, it’s not a big deal; barely worth mentioning.

Therapist: Barely worth it, but not not worth it at all?

Journalism Student: Forget it, it’s stupid.

Therapist: The other day, a client of mine came in bawling because he had just seen an ad on his phone in the waiting room for hummus. Apparently, he and his late wife met at a mutual friend’s party when another friend turned out to be allergic to peanuts, and they both volunteered to rush to the store to pick up alternatives. His feelings were not stupid, and neither are yours.

Journalism Student: It’s just this thing that happened to me two days ago. I was interviewing this guy who dropped out of my high school. He’s starting a drone courier service for the city. They don’t sell supplies or anything; they just carry items from other companies to people who work from home. I thought it was an interesting concept, and I thought it was cool that someone I once took Spanish with was making a name for himself, even though he didn’t graduate. Well, he remembered me from that one class, and evidently thought I had some sort of crush on him, so he started making the interview personal.

Therapist: He made you uncomfortable?

Journalism Student: Yes. He didn’t touch me, or anything. I mean, he didn’t even really say anything inappropriate. I probably would have shrugged the whole thing off, except it’s not the first time this kind of thing has happened.

Therapist: Yes, I remember the swim team captain who wanted you to interview him in the boy’s locker room.

Journalism Student: Yeah, he acted like it was because that’s how they do it in the major leagues, but I don’t think that was his reason. I don’t think he was planning on us, like, doing something together, but I bet he figured I might start getting ideas if I saw him like that, in that environment.

Therapist: Yes, that could be what he was thinking. Remember, though, we talked about presuming other people’s feelings, positions, and intentions. He might have genuinely wanted to pretend he was a pro athlete.

Journalism Student: Yeah, I understand.

Therapist: Did you talk with this drone guy about it?

Journalism Student: Oh no, I just rejected him politely, and ended the interview. It was awkward, though, and I may have asked him a few follow-up questions if he hadn’t taken the conversation to that place.

Therapist: Well, was it awkward for him too, or just you?

Journalism Student: How am I meant to know?

Therapist: Did it seem like he was upset too? Or did he act like it wasn’t a big deal?

Journalism Student: I guess he seemed okay. Like, he didn’t get angry with me. But I still felt weird, so I had to get out of there.

Therapist: That’s a perfectly reasonable response. I’m saying, if you still need more information to write your article for the paper, you could call him with those follow-up questions, and act like nothing happened. You can’t let what he did get in the way of you completing your assignment. Even if he didn’t do that on purpose, you deserve to do your job. You never know, he could be talking with his own therapist right now about how that interaction made him feel. If you treat him with respect, he’ll either be relieved that it didn’t seem to ruin your life, or he’ll be pissed you’re bothering him again, but still without giving him a chance at whatever relationship he feels entitled to. To put it another way, either you make things better for him—and I think for you too, since you can get some closure—or you force him to show his true colors. Either way, it’ll be good to get this resolved.

Journalism Student: What if he turns out to be a stalker, or something? What if engaging him again is just leading him on?

Therapist: [...] As a woman, everything you do will be scrutinized and interpreted. The fact is that you could smile at the grocery store cashier a little too widely, and make him think you want to have his baby. This is a dangerous world, and there are lots of dangerous people in it who are looking for an excuse to justify their thoughts. We can’t let them have that much power. I’m not saying don’t be cautious, but you have the right to write your article, just as much as you have the right to smile without also agreeing to marriage. You see what I’m saying?

Journalism Student: Yeah, I guess.

Therapist: We can keep talking about this as long as you want, but I do what to make sure we have time to discuss your former teacher’s death. This virus hit us all really hard, and I don’t want you ignoring the loss, even if you didn’t know her very well.

Journalism Student: Okay.

Microstory 1314: Virus (Part 2)

< > Table of Contents

Seasoned Reporter: Thank you for sitting down with me.

Viral Sensation: Thank you for this opportunity.

Seasoned Reporter: Now, I understand that you do film reviews—let’s see—no, reviews for films you haven’t seen, on your vlogging site.

Viral Sensation: It’s called a channel, and no, that’s not entirely accurate. I have seen all the movies that I review, but I pretend that I haven’t when I’m in character.

Seasoned Reporter: Would you care to explain what the point is in performing a fake review for a film?

Viral Sensation: Because it’s funny. Look, if I didn’t see the movies, and I criticized it online, people would just criticize me for not being open-minded, and for not giving it a chance. It wouldn’t be a joke; it would just be offensive to the fans. But my audience knows that I’m not truly coming from a place of ignorance. I make very specific references to plot points I couldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it, but I twist it for comedic effect. For instance, when I saw the movie Severe—

Seasoned Reporter: I thought you only did scifi/fantasy and action films.

Viral Sensation: I branch out when I see something’s big in the zeitgeist. Anyway, when I reviewed Severe, I brought up the part where the next door neighbor purposefully plants toxic flowers in her garden, and sprays them with meat smoothie she blended, so the dog will eat them and die. I mused that it would have been easier to mix the toxic flower into the dog’s food directly, because it wasn’t like the owner had cameras. Of course, a huge part of the story is what the family captures on their security cameras, so that wouldn’t have worked. So my mistake—

Seasoned Reporter: I hate airquotes.

Viral Sensation: ...didn’t suggest I didn’t see the movie so much as it suggested that I was indeed in the theatre, but that I wasn’t really paying attention.

Seasoned Reporter: Yes, you sometimes reenact your experiences at the theatre, and you’re always on your phone while the film is playing.

Viral Sensation: Yeah, those are also fake. The whole thing is fake. I do this to entertain my audience. I didn’t know it was going to transform into this. If you look at my earliest videos, I have one where I put on really bad makeup, but act like I’m an expert giving a tutorial. I botch a baking recipe in another. None of these took off. It didn’t happen for me until I made a Stem where I note my fear of a bioweapon from the country of Bacteria if Yo Diggity ever comes back to life.

Seasoned Reporter: Oh my God, that’s from The Great Dictator. I get that reference.

Viral Sensation: You and thousands of other people who watched the Stem millions of times

Seasoned Reporter: And what is Stem? I mean...I know what it is, but my audience may not.

Viral Sensation: It’s a different site that lets you upload very, very short videos. Ten seconds maximum. Once I had my own small audience from that viral video, I decided to expand the concept into longer videos, which of course Stem can’t handle. Now I upload something once a day.

Seasoned Reporter: I see. And it’s ‘Il Diggedy’ Benzino Napaloni; not Yo Diggity.

Viral Sensation: Yeah, that was part of the joke. I was surprised it took off. My target demo is a little young for it.

Seasoned Reporter: Yeah. So, this must cost you some money, right? Going to the movies every day?

Viral Sensation: I haven’t paid for a single film in two years. Theatres send me free vouchers if I agree to promote them, and independent filmmakers send me DVDs and digital copies ahead of release to generate buzz.

Seasoned Reporter: They do? They’re not worried your fake review will confuse people?

Viral Sensation: No, people know what they’re getting into. It works. They send me gift baskets when their stuff becomes successful. I don’t get people to see the movie because of how I reviewed it. People see the movies because they know I’ve reviewed it, and they want to understand what makes my review funny.

Seasoned Reporter: Interesting, interesting. And how do you make money doing this?

Viral Sensation: I have four primary sponsors, three of which are in the film industry. I’ll promote one of them at the beginning of every video, and at the end, I’ll promote the people who sent me the copy of that specific movie, if that’s what happened. Some people have to sit through an advertisement before my video plays, and I get a cut of that action. Some people pay for premium access to the site, and I get some of that money too. Lastly, my fans support me directly on Benefactr.

Seasoned Reporter: Benefactr, my colleague did a piece on that four months ago. People just send you money every month?

Viral Sensation: They get something out of it. I give them shoutouts, and mail them signed autographs. One guy sent me five thousand dollars, which is the highest tier, so I flew him out here, and we hung out all weekend. People struggle to make it big on the internet, just like they do in the physical world. I’m one of the lucky ones. My content isn’t better; I just happened to be the one of the few that people discovered.

Seasoned Reporter: Well, I’ll be honest, I was reluctant to conduct this interview. I didn’t think you would be so...

Viral Sensation: Normal? Nice? Unassuming?

Seasoned Reporter: Genuine.

Viral Sensation: That’s very kind of you to say. Now how ‘bout we do this?

Seasoned Reporter: Do what?

Viral Sensation: Do what? You’re gonna be in my next video, and help me review Devastation Damage. I’m sure you saw it.

Microstory 1313: Virus (Part 1)

< > Table of Contents

Seasoned Reporter: Ma’am, I know what you’re going to say, but I just can’t do it. I have too much integrity.

News Editor: Seasoned Reporter, I’ve told you a thousand times; this is 2020—call me sir, just like you would anyone else.

Seasoned Reporter: And I’ve told you twenty-eight times to please refrain from hyperbole around me.

News Editor: Tell me more about what you said in regards to your integrity. What does that have to do with an assignment that your superior has given you?

Seasoned Reporter: The girl you want me to interview is a joke.

News Editor: She’s a woman.

Seasoned Reporter: Okay.

News Editor: Do you have a problem with the fame that a woman has garnered from her work?

Seasoned Reporter: I know everyone thinks that I’m sexist, but I’m not. I don’t care whether she has a—um—I just don’t think that I would call what she does work. She makes silly and uninspired videos that unchallenged middle schoolers can watch when they should be doing their studies.

News Editor: Have you watched any of the videos yourself?

Seasoned Reporter: I’ve not.

News Editor: So, you don’t know what it is you object to.

Seasoned Reporter: I don’t know to what I object.

News Editor: Right. Do you think maybe you shouldn’t be prejudging this person? Maybe you should take a look at her creations, read a little bit about her accomplishments as an influencer, and take a look at her outreach statistics?

Seasoned Reporter: I know that sounds reasonable, but I object to the very idea of an influencer. It is not a job in itself. I am an influencer. I reported on war zones, and I was the first journalist to get the maniac who inspired the film Severe to open up. These are the things that I did, and because of how they impacted my audience, I influenced the world. Kids these days aren’t actually doing anything. They just decide they want to be influencers, and because of their looks, it happens for them. They don’t have to be thoughtful, or provocative, or do anything at all. They just need clicks. My nephew taught me that word. It’s all about clicks.

News Editor: Is that any different than what you do? Sure, you tackle serious issues, but you’re still just as preoccupied with readership and viewership as any of us. If no one sees what you’ve done, then does it really matter? Are you more important than Miss Viral Sensation just because she focuses on entertainment instead of news?

Seasoned Reporter: I would prefer to not answer that.

News Editor: I think you just did.

Seasoned Reporter: Now, wait. You can’t just infer—

News Editor: I’m going to phrase this in the form of a question, and leave it up to you to decide whether it really is a question, or actually just an order that’s been disguised as an option. Do you understand what’s about to happen?

Seasoned Reporter: Umm...I think so.

News Editor: Then here’s the question.

Seasoned Reporter: I hate airquotes.

News Editor: Are you going to interview Viral Sensation, like you’ve been told, or are you going to continue making problems, and giving your boss a headache?

Seasoned Reporter: ...

News Editor: ...

Seasoned Reporter: I’ll do the interview.

News Editor: Great answer. What was it like, being the interviewee for a change?

Seasoned Reporter: I didn’t love it.

Microstory 1300: Nick Fisherman by Tavis Highfill

< > Table of Contents

Tavis Highfill: Thank you for coming in. I know it’s easy for us to meet up with each other, since we share the same body, but it’s not often that we interact so directly.

Nick Fisherman: Thank you for having me.

Tavis: Now, you’re working on a new project, correct?

Nick: Yes. It’s a series called Interview Transcripts. I’ll be posting one each weekday, all the way through June, and then some.

Tavis: Tell me a little bit about that.

Nick: June?

Tavis: The interview transcripts. Are these real transcripts from real interviews between real people?

Nick: Absolutely not. I could not, and would not, betray someone’s privacy like that.

Tavis: So, where are they coming from?

Nick: My mindbrain.

Tavis: What the hell is a mindbrain?

Nick: It’s the hypothetical source of an original thought.

Tavis: I see. That sounds stupid.

Nick: Well, you came up with it, so...

Tavis: Are these going to be job interviews, or celebrity interviews, or what?

Nick: Yes, and yes, plus a lot of other things. I broke them down into eleven categories: employment, celebrity, journalistic, psychology, survey, police, court, college, clearance, suitability, library reference; in that order. There will be fourteen job interviews, but only four library reference interviews.

Tavis: What the hell is a library reference interview?

Nick: I don’t remember.

Tavis: ...

Nick: I’ll figure it out.

Tavis: Is this a fixed format, or can you adjust?

Nick: I can adjust, if necessary; for instance, if I can’t figure out how to write an intriguing enough suitability interview—let alone five of them.

Tavis: Are these going to be very good?

Nick: Probably not. But that’s not the point of my website. These are all experimental. Anyone can write seven books about a boy wizard, or three vampire fanfics. I’m not at all saying I’m the best writer in the world, but I do take risks, and I don’t worry about whether it ends up being good or not, because the experience alone makes it worthwhile.

Tavis: Is there anything else you would like your audience to know?

Nick: Ha! What audience!

Tavis: You know what I mean.

Nick: Yes. [Leans in real close] King Dumpster’s senate acquittal doesn’t mean he’s fit to maintain his seat. Vote him out in November. Thank you, and enjoy the series.

EDIT: These aren’t necessarily going to be entire interview transcripts. Some can be hella long, and ain’t nobody got time for that. If it looks like I ended the story without a conclusion, I guess we call that an interview excerpt? You’ll be okay.

Microstory 1048: Herbert

< > Table of Contents

Everybody just calls me Air Bear—because that’s how my name is pronounced in a French accent—which isn’t as original as you may think, but I kind of like it. It’s become kind of a running joke around town. The guy who ran the paper before you got here used to write these articles with funny little headlines that refer to me, but ultimately have nothing to do with me. You can go back in the archives to find such greats as Air Bear’s Parent’s Share Their Spare Hair. It’s about a real club at school where students coordinate hair donations. He also wrote Air Bear Cares About Pears, which is about our annual canned food drive, and Air Bear Dares Cher to Marry a Fairy in Town Square. That one sounds homophobic, but Cher and Beulah were the first kids from their graduating class to get married, the latter of which is infamous from having actually dressed as a fairy for Halloween every year. And they really did hold the ceremony in the town’s square. Again, I didn’t actually have anything to do with these things, but it was really important to Lester that he include me precisely once in every paper he released. The journalism teacher, and the rest of the administration, didn’t care for his headline fibs, but his aunt personally funded a renovation of the library, so they couldn’t really do anything about it. I know, I’ve talked a lot about me and Lester, so I’ll get on point now. Viola and I were on friendly terms, but I always hated her clique, and I never understood why she hung out with them. I’m telling you, they had more to do with her death than they’re saying. I’m not claiming there’s this big conspiracy to murder her, but they’re definitely lying about what happened that day by the river. She was a helper. She went all over town, fixing things for people, even those who didn’t know they needed any help. The truth about her so-called friends is starting to come out, and I’m thinking that’s why she was with them in the first place. You’re here to finish this for her, Alma. You have to figure out who those people really are, and what they were doing at Masters Creek. I don’t have any specific story to tell you about an experience I had with Viola, but what I can do is encourage you to pursue this with all vigor. Justice must be served, and if the police can’t do it, you’re going to have to do it for them. That’s what Lester would have done. Say what you will about the man, but he knew how to get to the bottom of a story.

Microstory 1042: Hattie

< > Table of Contents

I’m glad you and I can finally meet. While you work for the paper, I work for the yearbook, so the two of us are kind of born rivals, aren’t we? Both programs used to fall under the same department, headed by the journalism teacher, but the school decided to separate them, for no reason—or just to make things different, I guess. Or maybe they wanted us to have to operate out of the library, while you get an entire room. And they gave me the crappiest camera to work with. See? This is what they forced on me, look how blurry that is. I ended up just using my own. Back to your questions, though, I had lots of encounters with Viola, but I’m not sure any one of them really stands out to me. I suppose I saw her more often than she saw me. I spend a lot of time walking around with my invisibility camera, taking pictures of other people without them realizing I’m even there. I first noticed my power to get close to people without being noticed when I was a child. My parents are huge partiers, at places unfit for a child. You would think an eight-year-old girl would stand out, but I was able to walk around without anybody paying me any mind. My friend, Mollie would later tell me all those adults were on drugs, but that doesn’t explain why I can be so sneaky around school. If I were to lay out every photo I and my team took of any one person, I could probably piece together almost their entire life story. I’ve already done most of that with Viola, at the request of Hope, but I haven’t had time to analyze the data. I can tell you that she was not a normal person. She was never in two places at once, or anything, but she was sure good at taking the shortest route from one place to another. Of course, people do that all the time, but she would sometimes show up with no logical reason, yet it was the perfect place for her. She could go from magic club, straight to Eugene’s locker, to leave him a note seconds before he got there. Then she could have a quick tutoring session with Raymond, and be at the pool hall with Finley by five. This may all just sound like a crazy schedule, but not supernatural, but like I said, I haven’t really looked at the pictures yet. I would be wildly interested in your finished interviews, though. The raw ones; not the truncated versions you’ll be releasing to the public. There was something about her; she knew things about people she shouldn’t, and she was able to help them in ways no one should have. I think you and I should collaborate, Alma. Don’t answer yet, just think about it. We’ll see each other tomorrow.

Microstory 1008: Bertha

< > Table of Contents

Hi, my name is Bertha, and I don’t want to be here right now. Oh, sorry about that, let me try again. Hi, I’m Bertha, and I don’t want to be here. Yeah, still sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to say something that doesn’t ring true. I have a huge problem with the media. Your original job was to report the news; the facts. You’re not meant to investigate crimes, or inject your own flare. Tell me what happened, and that’s it. Look, I can’t tell you whether they solved the crime, or not, because like you, that’s not my job. I’m not saying to never question the system, but at some point, you have to resign yourself to the fact that we may never know the truth. And yeah, that sucks for the person imprisoned for something they didn’t do, but I have to believe that such a thing happens very rarely. Our justice branch was designed to lay everything out, so that nothing is missing. If you have all the facts, and all the witness testimonies, and all the parts of something, you should be able to put it all together into a full story. You want my reaction to Viola’s murder? You want to know what I think? I think that it’s a terrible tragedy, and also that it’s none of my business. I didn’t know Viola, I don’t know Maud, and I don’t know what happened. I can only tell you about myself. I was born in Coaltown, but my family moved here when I was three years old, so Blast City is all I’ve ever known. I’m a fair to middling student, with mostly Bs, sometimes a couple Cs, and one A. I love history, and always excel in the topic. I don’t care if we’re talking about the 1880s, or prehistoric times. Hell, I can get down with some dinosaurs, if you talk about them from an historical standpoint, rather than a biological one. Maybe that’s why I’m so cold with people, because they exist right now. I can’t relate to someone if they haven’t lived their whole lives, and died. Wow, I guess I never realized this about myself. Does that make me a bad person? Or rather, does that make me antisocial? Part of being human is connecting with others, so if I care most about strangers from the past, am I even human? I suppose it’s better than only caring about fictional characters. Yes, I saw your list, so I know you’ll be talking to Ira next. He’s a huge nerd, who I believe reads a book a day. Now, that is someone who can’t relate to others. He’ll have lots of thoughts on the murder, and they’ll all be stupid.