Friday, March 6, 2020

Microstory 1315: Fear For Life

Bad Cop: Stop crying!
Little Girl: Wha?
Bad Cop: STOP CRYING! Big girls don’t cry!
Little Girl: I’m not a big girl.
Bad Cop: You got that right. How old are you?
Little Girl: Six and a quarter.
Bad Cop: You should be able to stop crying once you turn six and an eighth.
Little Girl: What does that mean?
Bad Cop: Oh my God. Get in the car.
Little Girl: I can’t reach up that high.
Bad Cop: Why not.
Little Girl: My hands are handcuffed behind my back.
Bad Cop: They’re not handcuffed, you idiot, they’re zipcuffed.
Little Girl: Okay.
Bad Cop: Fine, I’ll pick you up.
Little Girl: Please don’t arrest me. I wanna go home.
Bad Cop: I’m taking you to the police station. We’ll call you parents from there.
Little Girl: Nooooo!! Just let me go!
Bad Cop: It ain’t gonna happen, Elsa. You’ve been a bad girl.
Little Girl: I just wanted to wear my hat. I didn’t do anything.
Bad Cop: Why did you need to wear the hat?
Little Girl: It’s the last thing my daddy gave me before he went to sleep.
Bad Cop: You mean he died?
Little Girl: Mom called it going to sleep.
Bad Cop: Well, that’s not what happened. He died.
Little Girl: ...
Bad Cop: What did I just tell you about crying!
Little Girl: Please! Just let me go.
Bad Cop: No. I’m taking you to holding, so you can think about what you did.
Little Girl: Holding what?
Bad Cop: Holding is a place you go when you do bad things, before a judge sees you, and sends you to prison.
Little Girl: I don’t want to go to prison.
Bad Cop: Well, you may not have to, if you promise not to hurt people again.
Little Girl: I didn’t hurt anyone.
Bad Cop: Your teacher said you screamed so loud, you hurt his ears.
Little Girl: I didn’t mean to.
Bad Cop: That doesn’t matter. You did it.
Little Girl: Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseee-uh!!
Good Cop: What’s going on here?
Bad Cop: I’m dealing with it, Good. I don’t need backup.
Good Cop: Are you arresting a seven-year-old girl?
Bad Cop: No, she’s six. Youngest I’ve ever arrested.
Good Cop: You say that with such pride.
Bad Cop: I’m just stating a fact.
Good Cop: Bad Cop, you are not under arrest for assaulting a minor, but I still recommend you keep your mouth shut. Anything you say will definitely be used against you when I talk to the captain about this. A union rep will be provided to you, but I don’t think she’s going to be pleased with what you’ve done. Let the girl go, and follow me back to the station. That’s an order. Decent Cop, please handle things here. I’ll check in with you later. And find out who called the cops on a kindergartner.
Decent Cop: Yes, boss.

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