Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Microstory 362: Environmental Awareness

Click here for a list of every step.
Regional Pride

I have many passions. I’m a writer, avid TV watcher, urban hiker, rugged backpacker, camper, photographer, dancer, singer, canoer (is that a word?), skier, and probably so many more things that I can’t even remember. Please note that I’m not an expert on all of those; really only the first five. But I’m also passionate about social issues; almost all of them. If you’ve read enough of these essays, you’ve probably seen how angry I am about the lack of gay rights (a.k.a. human rights). One issue I don’t know I’ve mentioned before is the environment. It really bothers me how much paper people use. Do you really need to print that out? Is it really easier to read, or do you just like killing trees? There are so many things people can do to make the world a better place, including staying virtual. Shove electric car prices down, and build charging stations up. Tear down oil rigs, install solar panels on every house, raise wind turbines, and pull up geothermal energy. Invest in 3D printers, advanced telepresence and virtual reality, and telepathy to eliminate traffic. For when we do need to get places, build vactrains and precisely programmed driverless cars. Nanotechnology can assist with all these changes, but you know what will really facilitate it? Artificial general intelligence. Computers can make calculations with greater efficiency than any human. We saw one do it on the final chapter of Person of Interest. Sure, it was a dangerous machine that needed to be stopped, because it was killing people, but it was doing some good. In the right hands, ASI could solve all of our problems. I imagine a world with very few, and consolidated, cities. If we constructed buildings exceptionally high and close together, we wouldn’t need cars to get around. We would only need transportation to other cities while the space in between could be left to the wilderness. Yes, I said it. Destroy the cities of old, even the “historical landmarks”. The original historical landmark was Earth itself, and we were pretty excited to destroy that one. So why don’t we just get back to it. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?

Sexual Propagation

Monday, July 11, 2016

Microstory 361: Regional Pride

Click here for a list of every step.
Progressive Society

In order to write my Mateo Matic stories, since they take place primarily in the future, I’ve been doing a lot of research on future events. First of all, you should know that forms of immortality I’ve mentioned before are coming. That’s not just science fiction. With such advancements in nanorobotics, consciousness transference, and virtual reality, the physical will become less important. Borders will fade away, and many will choose to live rather nomadic lives. We won’t live in homes, because everything we need will be on our person at all times. It’ll no longer matter where anyone is from. Travel and exploration will just be something we do constantly. When you live forever, a fifteen year trip to another solar system suddenly no longer feels like a waste of time. But until then, I recognize your drive to be proud of your home. Just don’t take this too far. It’s okay when you cheer for your favorite sports team, and “hate” the opponent, but it becomes a problem when you love your country, and hate another. There’s a fat line between pride and bigotry, yet I see people crossing it all the time. One of the biggest problem I notice comes out of people who live in the U.S. south. Now I know southerners will cry hypocrisy, but it’s really not the same thing. When you wave your confederate flag (which, by the way, isn’t even the same one used during the war) you’re expressing a level of anti-patriotism that I can’t even fathom. Scrap everything about race and slavery, and you’re still on the wrong side of the argument. The war was also about a certain group of states attempting to secede from the union. They hated this country so much that they wanted to leave. When you paint the flag on the back window of your truck, or hang it on your clothes line, you identify yourself as someone who doesn’t consider themselves to be a United States citizen. It’s ironic, because you’re the one claiming to be patriotic, and screaming about immigration. Have pride in your region, but don’t let it stand in the way of love.

Environmental Awareness

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: April 30, 1975

Makarion was, not surprisingly, shocked by Mateo’s actions. But Mateo had resolved to carry out the plan to kill Hitler, even if the Cleanser had no intention of him doing that. This was a chance to rid the world of one of the worst people in history. Yes, the timeline would be changed by this, but at the time, he felt like it was worth it. No one will know that Hitler was assassinated, though. Before too long, Mateo’s birthfather, Mario Matic jumped into the room and took the other time travelers away. He somehow dropped Theodore back in the same point in the timestream, but at a new location, before bringing the other two to the future. They accidentally landed in a puddle of mud. Everyone on the campgrounds was running around, somehow both chaotically and systematically. Mateo recognized a few of them as salmon, and the others held themselves in a similar fashion. This was another major time travel undertaking.
“Are you two all right?” Mario asked.
“Yes, thanks, dad.”
“Dad?” Mario asked. “I’ve only one son, and you’re definitely not him.”
“Dad, what are you talking about? It’s me, Mateo.”
“Sorry, never heard of you.”
Makarion stepped in, “this must be a perspective issue. He’s not yet learned of you, or he’s not yet even conceived you. We better not say anything further.”
Mateo was too upset, though, and he had already altered the timeline, so he wasn’t really in the mood to keep himself in check. “I am Lauren Gardner’s son.”
“Well, I’ve met a Lorraine Gardner,” Mario confirmed. Mateo remembered this as one of her aliases. “But we did not sleep together. I’m afraid you have me confused with someone else.”
“No, that’s not right.”
“Mateo,” Makarion pleaded, “that hasn’t happened to him yet. If you keep talking, you might end up changing it.”
“No, it’s already been changed,” Mateo said darkly. “Mario Matic and Lauren Gardner had me in 1986 when they were both in their early 20s. This man is at least thirty. If it didn’t already happen for him, then it never happened. I don’t exist.”
Mario looked at Mateo carefully, possibly trying to remember him. “You’re from an alternate timeline. You’re literally the son I never had.”
“So it would seem.”
Makarion appeared to be horrified by this. “Mateo, I’m so sorry.”
“Does anyone remember me?” Mateo asked, all emotionally businesslike. “Any choosers? Do the powers that be know me? What about Leona?”
“The powers still know you, and will likely return you to your pattern at some point. Some choosers are capable of perceiving alternate timelines, while others are not. All salmon, and all humans, have been overwritten. They have only memories of this timeline.” He paused before continuing, even though everyone knew what he was going to say. “Leona included.”
Mateo smiled and nodded, not happy, but he assumed that there was nothing he could do about it. He had been aware of and prepared for the changes that would come out of killing Adolf Hitler before his supposed time. He had even considered the possible ramifications for his own personal timeline. But the world was a better place without Hitler in it, even just for the following couple years. This had to be a better reality; it had to be. Maybe it was even better for his family. If he were never born, his adoptive parents, Carol and Randall, would live longer. If he were never born, Leona would not be put in danger, or would she? What about Horace Reaver? “What about Horace Reaver?”
“That’s who you ask about? That’s who you care about?” Makarion was disappointed. “Only one person in the entire world both remembers you, and cares about you, and you want to know about one of the worst people in history?”
“You knew him?” Mateo asked.
“Yes!” Makarion yelled loud enough for half the camp to hear.
“So do I,” Mario said.
“He died in 2050-something. I can’t remember the exact year. Did that still happen?”
Mario looked between Mateo and Makarion with a poker face. “I just left 2063, and he was there. Which is a weird coincidence.”
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad,” Mateo said.
“No, it’s bad. It’s very bad. We have to go back. We have to stop you from killing Hitler. I knew this would happen, but The Cleanser wouldn’t listen to me. I knew something would change that we didn’t like, and Horace Reaver being alive is the absolute worst outcome.”
“Honestly,” Mateo began, “after meeting The Rogue and the Cleanser, I don’t think that’s true. He at least had his motivation. He was trying to save the woman he loved. I can understand that.”
Makarion shook his head and looked to the ground. “You don’t understand. My God, you don’t understand.”
“Then explain it.”
“Mateo Matic?” Guard Number Two had walked up to them. He repeated his question after Mateo looked at him without answering, “are you Mateo Matic?”
“Yes, sorry. It’s just weird that you don’t recognize me.”
“I don’t know what you mean by that, but we can sort it out at the canopy. She needs to give you your assignment.”
“He’s not going to be part of Operation Second Wind,” Makarion argued. “We need to speak with The Repairman.”
“No,” Mario disagreed, “we need The Blender.”
“Shut the hell up!” Makarion yelled again. “We’re not doing that! We have to stop Hitler’s death. He’s exempt. He always has been. He’s a an Essential Temporal Juncture, so his death should never have been changed. We have to repair that.”
“They’re not going to let you stop that mission,” Guard Number Two noted. “And the Blender isn’t here. By her very nature, she would be useless for us. I can help you put in a request for a metalink to her, though.”
“Yes, that would be great, Kolby. Thanks.”
“Your name is Kolby?” Mateo asked.
“Yes, I was under the impression that you already knew me.”
“Of course, but...” Mateo trailed off. “Never mind.”
Kolby, a.k.a. Guard Number Two, left to request a metalink, whatever that was.
“Why is he here?” Mateo went on. “He only became whatever he is because of things that I did, in my timeline.”
“I don’t know,” Makarion said. “The Repairman, or The Stitcher, could have manipulated the timeline to make him discover our world in some other way. That’s what they do. When someone alters the timeline, like what we did by killing Hitler, they go through the timestream, making several minor adjustments so that certain things remain the same.”
“Yet they chose to let my son never be born.” Mario was more upset than Mateo would have thought. The whole thing was that he didn’t remember Mateo at all, so why would he be so passionate about fixing the issue?
“What does the Blender do?”
“She can’t change the timeline itself, but she can merge memories across alternate realities. She can make your father remember an alternate version of himself; the one who knew you and your mother. It won’t make it so it actually happened, but he’ll have memories of it. The problem is that those new memories will conflict with the ones he has from this timeline, which is why it’s dangerous. Overriding an overwrite can make the subject go crazy. I do not recommend it. We should find a way to stop you from killing Hitler at all.”
“It won’t matter,” Mario disagreed. “They’ll just send someone else. If they want him dead, he’ll die. You would have to repeat that moment ad infinitum if you wanted to protect it from change.”
“Mateo, I’m telling you, we have to make sure Horace Reaver dies, or at least gets locked up. He was born late enough in history to live forever. Can you imagine what that will do to the world?”
“He doesn’t seem like such a bad guy,” Mario said.
“You’re not helping,” Makarion spat. He too was inexplicably passionate. What was going on with people?
Kolby returned, hopefully to diffuse the situation. “All right, my boss isn’t happy about losing you for Second Wind, but she knows that your powers don’t give us much of an advantage anyway. Unfortunately, she would not authorize a metalink. If you want to find someone, you’re going to use a different method.” He left to get back to work.
“What is a metalink again?” Mateo asked, knowing that no one ever explained it to him in the first place.
“It’s like a phone call across time,” was all that Makarion said about it.
“Well, then what’s this other way he mentioned?” Mateo asked.
Makarion took both Mateo and Mario by the shoulder and said, “your cousin.”

He teleported them to the little chapel just outside of Lebanon, Kansas that was standing in the middle of the country. It looked different than the last time he was there, but then he remembered that this one was destroyed in a vehicular collision sometime in the future. “This is 1975 in an alternate timeline. She won’t know me.”
“She knows you,” Mario assured him as the special elevator started dropping them down. “She knows everybody. This is The Constant, after all.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Maybe he was losing his memories as well.
Danica was waiting for them at the bottom. She immediately threw her arms around Mateo, and was almost crying. “I’m so sorry about what happened. I’ve seen people erase themselves from history before, but it’s always either reversible, or they were alone anyway.”
“It’s okay,” Mario said to her. “You’re gonna help me get my memories back, and then we’ll do it for everyone else.”
“Yes, right, the Blender. I can contact her.” She opened something that looked like a thin portfolio binder, but didn’t let anyone see the contents. “That’s funny. She exists in this moment. In fact, she’s in Belle Fourche right now.”
Makarion disappeared without a word. Danica went over to a console on the side of the wall and punched in a code. They could hear the sound of something turning off. “There’s a field around this place. Only certain people can get in without an invitation. I turned it off so Boyce can return.”
“Where did he go?”
“South Dakota,” Mario answered. This is the center of the country if you don’t include Alaska and Hawaii, and Belle Fourche is the center if you do.”
“I see.”
“It’s nothing special,” Mario continued. “I mean, it’s not a special spot for salmon or choosers. She must just be there as a coincidence.” Another one. What other interesting circumstances arose from the timeline change. Where was everyone else he had ever met?
Makarion teleported back in, the Blender in tow.
“What do we have here?” she asked.
“He erased himself from the timeline,” Danica told her. “This was supposed to be his father, so you need to blend his mind with that version of him.
The Blender eyed Mateo, and he couldn’t help but think that she was reading his mind. She almost certainly had the ability to do so, and would use this power to choose her clients. “I will do it for one.”
“Dowhatnow?” Mario asked.
She shrugged apathetically. “I’ll blend your brain, but only you. No one else will have the benefit of alternate memories.” She looked over at Mateo. “If you want an ally, then I recommend you think long and hard about who you want that person to be.”
“Why are you doing this?” Makarion asked.
She shrugged again. “I have my reasons. You know what that’s like, don’t you?” She smiled at him knowingly.
Mario rubbed his mouth and chin while he paced around the room. “I trust you,” he said. “You’re my son. I don’t know you, I don’t remember you, but I don’t need to in order to love you. Our bond cannot be erased, so do not choose me. Something tells me you have someone else in mind.”
Makarion nodded. “Leona.”
“Doesn’t matter to me,” the Blender said. “Just tell me where to go so I can move on with my life.”
“2083,” Mateo said.
“No, I have a different idea,” Makarion said. “Let’s go, Nerakali.” He took her by the hand and they disappeared again.
“What is he doing?”
“I’ve no idea,” Danica responded.
“They’re making me leave, son,” Mario said. “But I promise that we will see each other again. I’ll do everything I can to remember. I’ll put the pieces together.” He disappeared as well.
The Cleanser appeared right after. “I honestly didn’t know that was going to happen,” he said with the air of truth. “Hitler’s death is tricky, but we can’t go back now. Makarion is off to get Leona for you, but if we don’t go to The Pentagon, he will find nothing but her grave.”
“Well...what are we waiting for?”

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Second Stage of Something Started: Resignation (Part XIII)

Vearden looked out the window to see the clouds flying by faster than they should have been. They were moving through time at an abnormal rate. He looked back to see The Cleanser dancing his fingers around in the air like he was lightly playing a floating piano. As he did so, everyone on the plane except for the door-walkers started drifting their head around in some kind of daze. “What did you do to them?” Vearden asked, probably a bit too curious.
“It’s like when you wake up and think you’re late for work but eventually realize it’s Saturday,” he tried to explain, “but that on crack.”
Saga violently grabbed him by the shoulder. “Forget about that! What did you say about crashing into the Pentagon?”
“Exactly what I said, bitch! Get your hands off me!”
“This isn’t what we signed up for.”
“What did you sign up for? Nothing? That’s what I thought. Now sit down and let me do my job.”
“And what exactly is your job?” Vearden asked, uncharacteristically more relaxed than his partner.
“I’m The Cleaner,” he replied.
“Don’t you mean cleanser?” Vearden asked.
“No, I mean Cleaner. What are you even talking about?”
As Vearden just stared at him in confusion, Saga quickly figured out what was happening. This was a past version of the Cleanser they all knew and hated. He did look significantly younger than before. For whatever reason, this chooser chose to change his name to the Cleanser, possibly as a response to whatever made him quit his chooser job and go rogue. Strangely, it would seem that Vearden had given him the idea for his new nickname all along. But if this were true, who came up with the name in the first place? “Nothing, sir,” she said, hoping he would drop the subject. “His bootstraps are just on too tight.”
The Cleanser Cleaner seemed to have understood the reference, and did make a point of letting it go. “Well, it’s my job to clean up the timeline. Some events are so pivotal to the timeline that when a chooser prevents them from happening, someone has to go in and put it back the way it was.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Saga pointed out. “I remember the 2001 and 2005 Pentagon attacks. The planes aren’t from the future. I mean, the government would have certainly tried to cover that up, but the events were so massive and far-reaching that we would have heard at least rumors.”
“First of all, you’re from a timeline where the 2005 Pentagon attack was carried out by humans, with regular airplanes that appropriately predate the event. Secondly, the government won’t have to cover up anything. We have ways of adjusting people’s memories by merging them with an alternate version of themselves through a quantum entanglement connection. I don’t expect you to understand how it works, because I certainly don’t.”
“We’ve heard that word before,” Vearden noticed. “Merging. We encountered someone called The Merger in 1975.”
“That’s quite interesting. I’ll have to remember that for my future, but I’m not talking about physical merging. I’m referring to blending.”
Remembering the problem at hand, Saga brought the conversation back. “So you’re going to send this plane to 2005 so it can crash into the Pentagon. Why would you need to do that? That human attack was successful.”
“Again, in the timeline you remember, but someone went back and stopped it.”
“Oh right,” Saga said. “I still see one problem with your plan.”
“That I’m short about four planes?”
“Oh yeah,” Vearden said, too excitedly. “Guess you better give up!”
The Cleaner smiled while he was interlocking his fingers to pop them. “I’ve not tried autocatalysis before, but I’ve seen it done, and I know that it’s one of my capabilities. I think I can do it for the whole plane, but I’m going to need your help.”
“Screw that, we’re not helping you,” Vearden argued.
“You keep acting like you have a choice. I recommend you get over that.” The Cleaner prepared himself and aggressively took both of them by the arm. He was incredibly strong, more so than he looked. Saga couldn’t think of any time manipulation function that would allow that, but maybe there was something. This particular chooser seemed to be excellent at finding loopholes, and using his powers in ever-creative ways.
They could feel energy surge through their bodies. The power didn’t move only from them and to him. Their combined powers cycled between all three of them like flowing water, methodically trickling out before shooting into the aether. With this power came knowledge. Both Saga and Vearden began to better understand time travel and the timeline. They saw the past, the future, alternate realities, spatial merging, extracting, regression, paradox stabilization, quantum blending, and autocatalysis, among others. They could feel the airplane split into two equal parts, and then those two separated into two more, and then those into one more pair. The Cleaner disintegrated the sixth plane across time, because it was not needed to accomplish his objectives.
The five remaining planes flew away from each other, headed toward the same spot. The three travelers could feel themselves in disparate places all at once, conscious of the slight differences, but still aware that they were but mirror images of only one thing. There was still only one plane, and it was about to crash into the past of the Department of Defense five times. In the original timeline, a powerful group of terrorists, angry from the ultimate failure of 9/11, coordinated a strike with five relatively small, but still powerful enough commercial airliners. Instead of hijacking preexisting flights, they simply stole the planes as they sat in their hangars. There was no lack of security, but certainly less than for aircraft being used for travel at any given moment.
The Cleaner had, probably inadvertently, bestowed upon Saga and Vearden a special level of perspective. A chooser, whose name was not relevant at the moment, traveled back into the past upon discovering her gift, before anyone else had a chance to introduce her to the world. A disproportionate number of family members of hers had died in the 2005 attack. So she used her foreknowledge to change the outcome of events, anonymously sending the authorities to the hangars before the terrorists could abscond with the aircraft. Her family was saved, but April 30, 2005 was too significant of a day in history. The powers that be were not happy with this change in the timeline. Though they did not particular enjoy the death of hundreds of people, they considered it too dangerous to prevent. Some events give rise to so many variables that not even the powers are capable of comprehending the ramifications. These variables stretch out beyond their purview, and create wrinkles in the fabric of space and time. Thousands of people are born or not by this single variation. And so they employed their Cleaner to repair the timeline for them, and restore their dominion. He was not the only one they used for this purpose, but he was one of their best. Ruthless and clever, he could always wrangle the variables. Or rather, he usually could. For one reason or another, he did not accurately predict what Saga would do.
The replicated time displaced airplane(s) plunged towards the building with even greater temporal precision than their counterparts in the other timeline. Vearden reached forwards with his mind and looked upon the faces of everyone in the affected area, including none other than Mateo Matic. He was standing in the middle of the courtyard, looking up at them with determination. At time slowed down from their point of view, the door-walking freelancers looked at each other in a way they never had before. In that moment, they both knew everything about the other one’s past...and Saga knew about Vearden’s future. She smiled. He frowned. But he understood. He couldn’t do what she had to. He had more work to do, and his time was yet to come. Her life was over, but he would see her again, in other ways.

Five copies of Saga Einarsson harnessed the fumes of the Cleaner’s special chooser powers to teleport themselves to five centers of the Pentagon’s roofs. They held their arms to the heavens, almost welcoming to the oncoming airplane barrage. She used the remnants of both her and Vearden’s power to transform herself into continuum bombs. The planes recombined into one and flew through a portal to a distant locations. The pilots reawoke and sprang into action, somewhat safely landing the plane in the ocean as if they thought it was the Hudson River.

Having lost his temporal insight and returned to salmon status, Vearden Haywood quietly crawled out of the airplane and swam to shore. He walked up to the stargate replica and stepped through. It sent him right back down the ramp, but about five years earlier. Harrison was waiting for him on the beach. “How long have I been gone?” he asked.
Harrison replied, “Several hours.”
“Mateo has yet to experience the tribulation.”
“Correct. Where is Saga?”
“She is not in this version of events. We changed history. She did.”
“What does that mean for what happens now?”
“It means I quit.”

Friday, July 8, 2016

Microstory 360: Progressive Society

Click here for a list of every step.
Right to Privacy

This one gets a little weird. I met an alien from another planet the other day. They return to Earth every few years to see how we’re doing. They monitor our behavior, and interview certain chosen subjects. She wasn’t the first alien I had met, but she was a new point of contact for me, and she had never done this before. Her superiors didn’t tell her much about us before she started her new job, so she was surprised by a few things. We are incredibly bizarre creatures, and shockingly backwards in some respects, while progressive in others. A long time ago, a caveman discovered a firepit that a different caveman had left behind. He put some ash in his mouth. Then he spit it out. Thousands of years later, however, people are still stuffing ash in their mouths, and they’ve also added hundreds more toxins. It’s not like everyone tries ash once and realizes they don’t like it. The same people eat it over and over again, and they think it does them good. People have different colored skin, and they’re from different places, and they speak different languages. There is so much hate between these factions; some of it out in the open, while some more subtle and insidious. Not everyone is of the same gender, nor sexuality, and that seems to be a problem for certain people. We war and torture and discriminate and sneak and live selfishly. We kick the homeless to the curb and take money away from educational programs. We burn books, worship invisible friends, and laugh at 2 Broke Girls and The Big Bang Theory. Yeah, I said it, that show sucks! These aliens have been waiting to bring us into the fold and prove Enrico Fermi wrong. They’ve not been waiting for us to discover warp speed, or play us little five-note melody. They’re waiting for us to get our shit together. They want us to join them in the 15th gigennium, and start actually being kind to one another. Honestly, they’re tired of waiting, and they’re about to give up. We all deserve a progressive society. Let’s get that trending.

Regional Pride

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Microstory 359: Right to Privacy

Click here for a list of every step.
Safety from Political Corruption

I know what you’re thinking; Nick, my mind is actually preoccupied with something else right now. That’s okay, but if you happen to have been paying attention, then you may know that I’m a huge supporter of security over privacy. At least I think I’ve discussed this here before; that may have been with someone else. Just the same, I’ll reiterate my feelings. There are terrorists on this planet. It’s kind of a conservative’s go-to argument against pretty much any change to society, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. There are people in this world who want to hurt others. I don’t care their reasons, because I’m not going to change who I am out of fear, hoping they lay down their arms. The fact is that they are a real and major threat to the happiness of millions, even billions, of people around the globe. I’m not super happy about the NSA listening in on my calls, and reading my emails, but I allow it. My embarrassing research queries are less important to me than...like, my life? They’re doing it to protect us. The government isn’t going to call your spouse about your affair, and they aren’t posting to the White House website that you secretly like The Notebook. They’re trying to save your life, so stop crying and let them in. That said, that doesn’t mean the government should be privy to absolutely everything you do. There must be regulations, compartmentalization, and other safeguards in place to protect the innocent. This is where artificial superintelligence comes in. Everyone is so freaked out about the dangers of an ASI taking over the world by turning humans into paperclips, but remember that and AI would be the only entity capable of deleting memories. When you ask the jury to “please disregard what was just said” there’s no way for them to do that. Once it’s in the brain, it’s there forever. We don’t lose memories, just connection. Computers, however, can forget. They can scan your private files, and then wipe the knowledge from their minds upon learning your irrelevance. Doesn’t that sound like a pretty good idea now?

Progressive Society

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Microstory 358: Safety from Political Corruption or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Escape to a Constructed Reality

Click here for a list of every step.
Freedom from War

My personal political ideas are so radical that I’ve never really gotten into studying how politics work in the real world. I approach the fictional worlds in my stories as a naïve child; with few preconceived notions. Don’t get me wrong, I do tons of research for my work, and it’s actually my favorite part (I more often than not dread the typing part, whoops). But I also like to reimagine the world from an outsider’s perspective, because if another planet wanted to create a judicial system, they wouldn’t check in with Earthan humans first. I tell you this as a disclaimer so that you’ll understand where I’m coming from when I tell you that voting for Donald Trump is unlikely to be any less than the second or third worst mistake of your life. It on its own probably wouldn’t be the worst, because Trump-voters have something fundamentally wrong with their brains. He’s not as dumb as his twitter feed makes him seem. In fact, he and his campaign team are geniuses. We hear so much about the “black vote” and the “female vote” and the “hispanic vote” but Trump has finally figured out that idiots outnumber the rest of us by a ratio of at least 3:1. He’s low on money, and the polls aren’t looking great for him, but the scare is not yet over. Even if he doesn’t win, he’s a giant mirror for the state of our country. That Trump has made it this far is an omen to how close Uncle Sam is to shooting a firecracker in his own face. I speak so much of him because he’s not a politician, yet he could be the greatest we’ve ever seen. Politicians lie, cheat, and steal. They put people in danger, they do favors for each other, and their motives rarely align with the greater good or the moral high ground. Sounds like Trump to me. He’s corporate incarnate, so I’m not worried about him and policy, because little would change there. I’m worried about him being in possession of reapers and nuclear codes. He’s why I live in an alternate reality.

Right to Privacy