Microstory 1581: Empty

< > Table of Contents

Prompt

I literally saw no other cars on my way to work this morning, no one on the streets, and no one in the office. Something strange is going on.

Botner

It’s been like this all week. This morning, I had to leave a little bit early for a doctor’s appointment. I can’t remember the last time I was late for work. And, since this has been happening all week, I am guessing it has something to do with my hormone levels being out of whack. Probably due to the possible infection. And, the whole period thing. I’m trying to stay positive. I just hope it’s a short term thing. And, that it doesn’t affect my job, because I really like my job. Yesterday I went for my 28-week check up. I had asked about my nausea since I noticed that it seemed to be lessening, as well as my food aversions. I was told I was still pretty miserable. Then, the doctor told me that I had to stop wearing my belly band and go on full bed rest. That I had to wear nothing but a pad or a maxi pad the rest of my pregnancy. That my blood pressure was being regulated and they had decided I had gestational hypertension, but the baby’s was fine. (There was an issue with...

Conclusion

...the ultrasound, but it turned out to be some kind of imaging error). None of that explains why there are no people around anymore. I didn’t notice it the first few days. Because of the pandemic, so few people are coming into work now. My mind wanders while I’m driving, and I try to stay away from people in person anyway. Fortunately, I work in my own little corner with a special door that pretty much takes me right there. I’m obviously extremely worried, now that I realize that I’m all alone, and have been for quite some time. Even if the virus killed everyone, and for some reason, left me alive, I should still see signs of life. If it was that quick, there should be dead bodies in at least a few cars on the way. Perhaps it’s all just hormones, and I’m imagining everything, or it’s some kind of fever dream. I decide to skip out early today, and go exploring. I just randomly drive around the city, looking for anything—anything—that suggests there are other people still alive and around. I saw a movie about this once. A couple was on vacation when they woke up to find the whole world empty except for them, and (spoiler alert) one other guy. I keep driving around, but there’s no one. I call up my doctor, and he answers the phone, so I keep him on the line while I’m headed his way. He’s confused as to what I’m talking about, but I’m even more confused when I get to his office, and find it just as empty as everywhere. He’s still talking to me, and claiming that he’s sitting in his chair. I’m looking right at it, he’s lying. Then I remember. The father’s ex-girlfriend claimed to be a witch, and warned me that she would be sending me to a prison world. I didn’t believe her then, of course, but I believe her now. I have to find a way out of here, and since I can obviously still make calls to the real world, that has to be possible. Who can I call, though? The father? Maybe, but the witch will be monitoring his communication, surely. Then again, she’s probably just watching me right now. I hang up, and call my neighbor, who once strongly suggested he too was a witch.

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: Sunday, July 31, 2146

« < » > Table of Contents

The team dropped Miapaktem and Padera off in the Croatian arcology, right where the scientists had been for the first transition window. Their job done, they went back to The Imzadi, and hung out for the rest of the day. A transition alarm woke them all up from having been sleeping in the next day. They were a little out of sorts, but well-rested. The window was opening up in Lebanon, Kansas in two minutes, and they were still in Croatia, so the new AI teleported them there, evidently underground.

A woman appeared on the bottom level. She looked around, curious but not scared. “Does anyone need any help?” she asked.

“Us?” Leona questioned as she was sliding down the steps. “I believe you are here so that we may help you.”

“I think I’m all right,” the woman said. “Helping people is generally my job.”

“As it is ours. My name is Jeremy Bearimy. These are my friends, Missus Leona and Mateo Matic, Angela Walton, and two people you can’t see named Kallias Bran, and Aeolia Sarai.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Jodie Konsten, substitute Savior of Earth.” She smiled proudly.

“Substitute?” Leona asked. “You step in when Xearea needs a break.”

“Indeed,” Jodie confirmed. “It is a tough job, and mine is easy. She gets the occasional vacation, and I get the occasional un-vacation. The rest of the time, I wait in The Constant.”

“Konsten in the Constant,” Angela noted.

“The powers that be do like their puns,” Jodie acknowledged. “If you don’t have a job for me, though...”

“Why weren’t you called up in 2109?” Leona asked, though more to herself. “That’s when Xearea went out of commission, because she was trapped on Tribulation Island. If you existed, you should have been able to fill in for her the whole time.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jodie apologized.

“It’s Arcadia,” Mateo began to explain. “She trapped a bunch of people on another planet. Younger versions of the two of us are there right now.” He pointed to himself and his wife. “We were later assigned to fill in for her ourselves. I was responsible for 2121, 2122, and 2123. She had 2118, 2119, and 2120.”

Leona stepped forward. “That’s right. She must have planned that all along, and arranged for Jodie here to not be called to action.”

Jodie was upset. “That is my entire purpose in this world. Had I know that there was a gap in service, I would have found a way to close it.”

“It’s okay,” Mateo assured her. “We took care of it.”

“But not forever,” Leona reminded him. “Lincoln is doing it right now. “He got last year, this year, and next year. After that, Arcadia runs out of people. I talked to her about it once, she said that all the years until 2159 are shit out of luck.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Jodie said, determined.

“This must be why we’re here,” Jeremy figured. “Arcadia managed to keep Jodie in the Constant so she couldn’t do what she does, but we’re a loophole. She doesn’t know this team exists, or I mean, she doesn’t know what we do.”

Mateo nodded. “We’ll get you back to your reality, so that you may take the baton from Lincoln.”

“What do you mean?” Jodie asked. “Are we in a different reality?”

“That’s how we got you out,” Leona told her, “or rather, how our boss did. You won’t be needed for another year and a half, though. I’m not sure why you’re here now.”

“We think we might have an idea.” Bran looked forlorn, as did Aeolia next to him.

“What do you know?”

“I don’t know anything,” Jodie said. “You’re the one who said I’m too early.

“No, I wasn’t talking to you,” Leona tried to explain.

“Not me, what?”

“It’s too confusing,” Mateo said. “Give her a cuff, so she can see Bran and Aeolia.”

“Who are Bran and Aeolia?” Jodie asked. She couldn’t even remember Jeremy mentioning them earlier.

Angela took a cuff out of the drawer, and handed it to Jodie. “If you put this on, you’ll start to share their  patterns and temporal conditions. I’m a human, so you’ll get nothing from me, and we recently parted ways with our resident choosing one. We will also be able to use your abilities, though I’m not sure what that looks like when it comes to the Savior. This has to be your choice, mind you, but you can absolutely take it off whenever you want.”

“Okay,” Jodie said with no more thought. She put on the cuff. “Oh! Kallias and Aeolia! I know who you’re talking about. Hey, guys.”

“Hey,” Aeolia said with a laugh, but the smile faded from her face quite quickly.

“Why did we have to transition Jodie this year?” Leona asked her. “What do you know of the future?”

Aeolia sighed sadly. “The Constant. It’s been, well...constant, for billions of years. It was designed to last forever, but everything has a weakness. I couldn’t tell you what that weakness is, because I’m not the one who destroyed it. All I know is that it was, or rather, will be. It happens sometimes next year. I would imagine Nerakali is aware of this as well, and has extracted Jodie early, to both save her life, and prepare her to take a more active role in her job.”

“What?” Mateo had been pretty good for the last few days. He came back from his multiversal ordeal a changed man. He was no longer so agitated and anxious, but calm and forgiving. The bliss wore off over time, or at least lessened in intensity, but his sense of completeness remained. The constant carefree attitude would have gotten on people’s nerves, so this was a good balance. Now, all of it was—hopefully only temporarily—gone. He was back to being pissed off and overwhelmingly worried. Family was clearly his trigger. “What does that mean for Danica?”

“We don’t know,” Bran said. “We saw the aftermath in 2151, and eavesdropped on a few people who had some more details, but no one seems to know where The Concierge went.”

“Well, we have to stop it.” Mateo was growing frantic. “What did it look like?” Was it an explosion? Implosion? Tell me everything.”

“It was...” Aeolia hesitated.

“Spit it out,” Mateo demanded.

“Mateo, relax. It’s not happening today, give them time.”

“It was pretty bare,” Aeolia went on. There was some debris; pieces of the walls, it looked like. The rest was gone, and what little remained was, like, pulled toward the center.”

“A portal,” Leona guessed. “A portal that sucks things in, rather than allowing you to walk through it.”

“Is this a person?” Mateo wasn’t feeling any better. “Who do we know that can do that?”

“I don’t know of anyone specifically,” Leona said. “We’ve never seen it before, it’s just...possible. It would have to be a time power, or a time device, because human technology doesn’t do that. From what they describe, there’s too little left behind to be anything but temporal. I suppose the portal itself wouldn’t have to be capable of it. Maybe they simply opened the portal to a location of intense gravity, like a black hole, or a neutron star.”

Mateo sort of stepped away from the group, and spoke into his cuff. “Nerakali. You better be listening in realtime, or somehow get to us. I need you to open a transition window. We need to go to the Constant and stop whatever this is. Or we at least need to be able to save Danica. We gave you this job, you owe us.” In response, all of their cuffs beeped. A time appeared in the corner, counting down. “What is this? What does that mean? Nerakali, just use your words.” The timer grew to a larger font for emphasis, but that was it. “Goddammit.”

“It’s counting down to next year, Mateo,” Leona said. “It’s a transition window. Today is about Jodie. Tomorrow, the Constant. Presumably, there’s nothing we can do until we’re given that mission.”

“I can think of a whole hell of a lot we can do. First, we can just sneak Danica out of there, so it doesn’t matter what happens. We can leave a guard topside, and we can find a psychic, and a seer, and call in every favor we have coming to us.”

“Nerakali knows more than us,” Leona continued to try to get him to understand. “Respect and accept that.” She cleared her throat. “Of course, this doesn’t mean we can’t prepare. I don’t want Jodie involved in this, as she’s too important. So Jeremy, please escort her to the Kansas City arcology, and get her set up with a unit, where she can rest, and learn about this world. I don’t know if you’ve kept up on current events while down here, Jodie.”

“Not really. It would be nice to familiarize myself with this world.”

“Angela and Bran, we haven’t really asked you to use your powers yet. I’m going to be making a list of tech that could help us, and I want you to steal it from the Parallel natives. We don’t have time for diplomacy. Angela, the way I understand it, you taught a medication class in the afterlife sim before you became a counselor?”

“I did, yes.”

“Please help my husband get through whatever it is he’s going through. God knows I’m useless in that respect.”

“What will you do instead?” Mateo asked. He wasn’t upset about her talking about him like he wasn’t here, because he knew she was right.

“I’m gonna go call in some favors.” Leona lifted her head, and spoke to the AI. “Computer, please teleport me to the surface. I can transition from there.”

“Wait, what?” Mateo questioned. “You can?”

It was too late, Leona was gone.

« < » > Table of Contents

Big Papa: Keys to the Castle (Part III)

< > Entire Story

Two days later, Lowell and I are sitting on one side of a table, like this is mediation for a divorce, and one of us is the other’s attorney. No one else is in the room yet except for a robot assistant with limited cognitive capabilities. I check my watch. “Are the other parties in a different part of the matrioshka body?” I question the bot. “How wide is the time discrepancy?”

“Oh, we are no longer as close as we were to Sagittarius A-star,” it explains. “The entire hyperstructure is presently operating at roughly the same relativistic time as your average planet in one of the outer galactic arms.”

“We left the black hole?” I ask rhetorically. “What year is it, by Earth time?”

“Twelve-thousand three hundred, and thirty-seven,” the bot answers. It means 2337, but it’s using the human era calendar, which arbitrarily adds ten thousand years.

“We’ve still not yet caught up to the creation of the matrioshka body,” I point out.

“They will not reenter the stellar neighborhood until the time loop is complete. There will be no interference with the past,” the bot says. “Research into the effects of high gravity on time has been exhausted. That is all I know about it.”

“Thank you,’ I say to it.

Gacar enters the room from one door, while Tamerlane Pryce comes in from another, as if they rehearsed their grand entrance. Lowell and I stand up respectfully, then sit down with the other two. “Thank you three for coming. This is a relatively informal meeting to see if this issue can resolve itself. We understand that your species demands a sort of...long-winded approach to everything you do. My people would rather stay out of it, if at all possible. I’m here to facilitate discussion, but intend to make no judgments. If you cannot come to an agreement, we will step in, but not before that. Understand this, the afterlife simulation exists as a favor to whoever wants it. As long as it does not disrupt anyone else’s processing power, we will let it be. We don’t care who’s running it, or even what they’re doing with it. We will shut it down, however, if that is the only way to end this. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” we all say in unison.

“Then we’ll begin,” Gacar says. “Ellie, you may speak first, but after that, I expect the three of you to police yourselves, and stay civil without intervention.”

“Thank you, Gacar,” I say. I turn my attention to Pryce. He regards me politely, but like he has a magic bullet in his arsenal—and knows that his argument wins, regardless of what I say. He’s just waiting for his moment to drop the mic and pwn me, so to speak. I must preempt him. “I do not demand control of the simulation. I only ask what you did with my friends, and why they are not here to control it, if only alongside you?”

He tilts his head to the other side. “I killed Trinity. Thor and my daughter were conscripted into some kind of train war. I didn’t ask a lot of questions.”

“Why did you kill Trinity?” I ask. I’m keeping my cool, because if she truly died, her consciousness should still have survived in the simulation. Technically, the simulation always existed if he went back in time to collect everyone’s consciousness from history. The bot even called it a time loop.

“It couldn’t be helped. “Thor destroyed the body I was using before her, so I jumped into Trinity’s.”

I think a moment. “That’s when you were masquerading as me,” I posit.

“Yes. I intended to ingratiate myself into your group, and become one of the big four in your stead. There’s a reason I haven’t done that before, though. I’m not a good actor. I’m...not a great person either, but I’m nothing if not honest. I couldn’t pretend to be you. Didn’t last a couple minutes. So I let Thor kill me, and switched tactics.”

“Wait. That doesn’t make any sense. You say you weren’t capable of pretending to be me, but you were good enough of an actor to pretend to be Trinity?”

“I wasn’t her at first,” Pryce answers. “I was a passenger. I couldn’t control the things she did or said. I would later realize that I was influencing her the entire time, which is why they abandoned you so decisively, but Trinity was still there back then. Over time, my consciousness overtook hers...until there was nothing left. I was not aware that this would happen. By the time I had the chance to make myself a new clone, Trinity was essentially brain dead.”

“But she’s still alive,” I put forth. “She’s somewhere in the sim.”

He looks saddened. The guy actually looks saddened, it’s unbelievable. “Contrary to popular belief, not everyone goes to the sim after they die.”

“What?” Lowell finally jumps in. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Pryce sighs, and runs his finger through his hair. “Little bits in the brain. They act like insulation, but they’re what transfer neural data. An entire backup of the brain is located inside every brain. When someone dies, that generally survives long enough to complete a transfer to an external server, which is on Earth—and most other planets before they’re needed. From there, it can be transferred to the sim. There are exceptions to this. I spent a lot of time perfecting the timing. I needed to be able to rescue people even if they were blown up by a bomb. I needed people who were stabbed in the head with a sword. I am damn good too. Almost everyone makes it. Almost.”

“What are the exceptions?” I press. “What made Trinity one of these exceptions?”

“Technological advancements come with some pretty crazy ways to die. The twentieth century gave us vaporization. The people who die within the blast radius of a nuclear bomb do so too quickly for my systems to save. Your buddy, Lucius Deschamp can basically do this with his mind. I can’t save those people either. It doesn’t matter how fast I made my program, it was never fast enough. Thor didn’t want any time travel, other than the first one that sent us to the beginning of the endeavor. I respected that, but it means that some people can’t be saved. To answer your question, there are other exceptions, which go the other way. They’re too slow. Some people’s minds don’t die all at once. Alzheimer’s, dementia; these involve microdeaths that essentially destroy the person’s identity little by little. How do you quantify that? It’s hard enough to map and transfer a single flash image of someone’s mind, but over time, as it changes? That’s...not impossible, but it was hard, and still leaves us with exceptions.”

“You still haven’t explained Trinity yet,” I remind him.

“But I have, haven’t I? I told you my mind took over her body...slowly. Dementia patients slowly lose their minds, but those minds aren’t being replaced, they’re just losing connections. And that revision history still exists, so all I have to do is backup those people long before their deaths, uploading them as slowly as their disease destroys them. Before you ask, I can’t back up everyone using this technique, like they do on Altered Carbon, because that much server space would alert people to our existence, but I’ve been able to reserve a little extra space for those few who need it. That didn’t work with Trinity, and some other people who suffer too much psychic trauma, like Volpsidia Raske.”

I sit quietly for a moment, and everyone just lets me. “This sounds like manslaughter to me. Where do manslaughterers go when they die? What level are they?”

“Level Three, Hock, just as they would be on Earth.”

I sit quietly for another moment. “Did you put yourself in there? You killed someone? Did you do your time? Or have you been sitting one your throne since this all started?”

“Is that what you want from me?” Pryce asks. “You want me to serve time in prison?”

“Yes,” I answer plainly.

He snaps his fingers, but keeps his eyes on me. A little wheel appears before us.

“What was that?” Lowell questions, looking around. “Are we in the sim?”

“As we have always been,” Pryce replies.

“I was concerned that one of you would resort to violence,” Gacar jumps back in. “We are in a part of the simulation that I control. I delegated the responsibility of making sure you understood this to someone else.” Gacar gives the assistant bot the stink eye, but he just keeps smiling back. He’s not programmed to feel shame, embarrassment, or guilt. Must be nice.

“Running the simulation is not easy,” Pryce says to me. “I wouldn’t think you would think it was, but I just want you to know that I did my best, and I hope you recognize and remember that when I’m up for parole.” There are twelve wedges on the wheel, of varying sizes. The smallest is obviously the hardest to land on, but if you get it, you’ll be resurrected. It’s only happened twice. When I, Lowell, and our other friends were brought back to life, he didn’t make us spin the wheel, because he had already made the decision. It has no power on its own, it’s just a way for him to turn life and death into a game. The fourth largest wedge is orange, and will send the spinner to a virtually inescapable prison section of the simulation. This is the wedge that Pryce deliberately chooses for himself, rather than spinning and hoping. He just adjusts the hand, so it goes where he wants it. His clothes automatically turn orange, but he doesn’t disappear right away. “You’ll see. You’ll understand the choices I made, and when you realize that the changes you make to the system are creating nothing but chaos...you’ll know where to find me.”

As soon as Pryce disappears, a heavy metal gear a little larger than a normal human hand appears on the table, spinning like a top. It never loses momentum, due to us being in a simulation. It just keeps going, until I pick it up. “Does anyone know what this is?”

“A symbol,” Gacar explains. “The possessor of that gear controls the simulation. Don’t fear it, though. If someone were to physically steal it from you, they wouldn’t simply take your place. There’s a real world analog, but as far as I know, it doesn’t really do anything. He’s just telling you that you won.”

We’re silent for a second. “Congratulations,” Lowell says to me, not in monotone or shock, but genuinely and softly. “What is your first act as God of this world?”

I inhale deeply, then let it out. “I’m going to prove him wrong, and show that I can indeed save everyone, including dementia patients, and vaporized victims. We’re ignoring Thor’s mandate, and going back in time, so that everyone makes it to the simulation, especially Trinity.”

< > Entire Story

Microstory 1580: Getting Through It

< > Table of Contents

Prompt

The pilot is dead, and the plane is going down. I’m the only one here with any hope of flying it, but I only have a few hours under my belt so far.

Botner

I’m still hoping to find a navigator with a good enough map. My hands shake as I make the first turn. I need to be able to do this for seven more hours. I don’t know how much time has passed since I’ve flown in the cockpit of a plane, but the engines of the aircraft are now cold. There are no instruments, and no radio. I’m just hoping for the best. There is nothing more terrifying than taking over an airplane by yourself. I could attempt to write something to make you feel better about it, but I’m sure I would fail miserably. I’m not an expert on flight. I’ve never flown. I’ve never even been in a plane. But if I can do it, you can do it. You need this, though. Well, maybe not now, but you will want this. This is how they knew that they would need you. You need to be able to write about moments that are random and out of your control and also be able to make them actionable. So, here you go: It is coming up to one year since I last saw Dustin. The last time we spoke we...

Conclusion

...had this awkward moment where I was thinking we might get back together, and he paused like he was thinking the same thing, but then we looked away, and said our goodbyes. I’m trying to concentrate on what I’m doing, but my mind drifts to the past. I would be here with him if I had just stopped, and forced a conversation. We could have worked through our issues. We didn’t end on bad terms, but at the time, neither one of us was willing to compromise, and get on the same page. I regret that now, and not just because I’m heading for a mountain, and I don’t know if I can pull up in time. The people in the back are crying, reminding me of when I was volunteering at the assisted living facility. I watched a family watch their patriarch die right before their eyes. That was how I met Dustin, as he was an orderly there. I tried very hard not to become overly emotional in the moment, because it wasn’t about me, and he helped me get through it without seeming cold and uncaring instead. If he were here, he would know what to do. I mean, he wouldn’t be able to fly the plane, but he would keep me calm and focused. We barely miss the summit, and I feel like I can breathe again. It’s not going to be easy getting back home from here on out, but the worst of it should be over. I know this part of Colorado well enough, because it’s where he’s from, and we used to plan a lot of trips back, because it’s so beautiful. There won’t be another flat place to land for a while, I’m sure. We’ll just have to sit tight and wait. We keep going for about ten minutes until the engine starts making a sound I’ve never heard before, but we all know what it means. We’re running out of fuel, which I was hoping wouldn’t be the case, but like I said, no instruments. We’re gonna have to do a crash landing somehow, and I don’t think we’ll make it. Now I’m so glad that Dustin isn’t here, because he would just die with the rest of us. Another passenger yells that she finally found the parachutes, but there aren’t enough for all of us. This is my fault. It’s all my fault, Dustin included. I’ll stay.

Microstory 1579: Any Password Will Do

< > Table of Contents

Prompt

I enter my bank password wrong, but the app still lets me sign in. I log out and try again, this time using a password that is not anywhere close to the right one. It lets me sign in this time too.

Botner

The trick: I don’t use the exact password. Instead I pick a random six-letter combination. It’s not easy to do, but there’s a little-known secret that lets me log in without making a mistake. All I have to do is get my phone to emit a strong “pattern” beep and lock pattern. If I follow this series of steps, I can log in to my bank account from my phone no matter what the password is. I started wondering how this works after I noticed this article from The Atlantic detailing how to trick Google into giving you the wrong password when you’re on an Android device. The author said that when he logged in, his bank account info and the password didn’t match. He was able to get into his account despite the fact that his password was wrong. It’s possible that this is an isolated incident. But some security experts are skeptical. “The notion that it’s really easy for hackers to break into my account if I type in this correct password...is dubious,” says Randy Abrams, security specialist.

Conclusion

I’m no programmer, but I have a decent idea what happened here. There’s a line of code somewhere in my bank’s software. It’s there to help people login to their accounts. When someone inputs their password, this line is supposed to ask whether it’s correct. If not, it will return false. But if the code itself just says true, then the password is always right, no matter what. As long as they put something in the box, it will let them in. This is a problem. This could allow anyone to access anyone else’s account, assuming I’m right, and it’s a global issue, rather than some kind of caching bug that’s only happening to my device. I open my laptop, and put in my mom’s username, since we use the same bank. I randomly strike a bunch of keys, and try to get into her account. It works. It is global, it has to be. But still, I’ll try one more thing. I call my mom, and ask her to try to login to my uncle’s account. She helped him set it up, so she has his information too. She puts in the wrong password, just like I did, but it doesn’t work. Whew! I guess they solved the problem already.  Hopefully I was the first and only person to notice the glitch, and no one had the chance to exploit it. I realize my session’s been terminated because the app has been logged in too long, and I never did get to check my balance, so I have to login yet again. Feeling shaky because of what might have been, I mess up my password once more, like an idiot. But it works. I know I messed it up, my hand slipped. What the hell is going on here? I have to get help, so I call customer service, and tell them what I know. “Yes, sir,” the representative says. “You have access to all accounts, as you should.” What?” This is even weirder than that time I drove down the highway going the wrong direction, and the cop just smiled and greeted me like it was normal. Something is happening to me, and even though it all seems good, it can’t be that easy.

Microstory 1578: Nameless

< > Table of Contents

Prompt

I found a package on my porch. It was addressed to me, but had the wrong address. I don’t know how it got here, but I shrugged, and opened it up. Inside was...

Botner

...a huge bag of Reese’s Pieces (I don't even like Reese's Pieces) and...a shirt, and pants, and...a cardboard license plate? Who did this? Hey there! Yes, I know, that license plate looks pretty strange, but I thought it might help you identify yourself if you ever get pulled over. Here are the parts of it. There’s a 4x4 strip that says “Pickles Drive”. There’s a piece that says “Raging Bull” and another that says “Scotty Doesn’t Drive”. There’s a plate holder. It’s hard to make out the rest because the back part’s missing. I’m very disappointed to find out that it’s not just some kind of joke. I’m so excited! Did someone send me a gift? Can I open it now? Can I say thank you? Can I wear it? I think I’m going to cry. From: The [Nameless]. To: [Me]. From: [The Nameless]. Date: 12/16/13. Subject: Greetings and salutations and other nothings. To: [Me]. I really appreciate it! I haven’t tried the Reese’s Pieces yet, but my brother really likes them, and it would be a shame if I didn’t...

Conclusion

...at least eat a little bit of it. Someone went through all this trouble to make this care package for me, and it would be rude for me to completely ignore it. The fake license plate intrigues me. I feel compelled to use it, even though I obviously already have a state-issued plate on my car, and this would be extremely illegal. I remove that one, and affix the fake one in its place, just for fun, I guess. To my surprise, the cardboard transforms into metal, and looks totally authentic. You would never know that this isn’t the real thing. I now feel the urge to get in my car, and drive as fast as I can. I’ve never been much of a daredevil, and I don’t break the law. This is so not me, but I can’t stop myself. I stick to normal speeds while I’m in the neighborhood, and don’t go too terribly fast in the city, but once I’m out, all bets are off. I’m going ninety on a sixty-five, and pissing everyone off as I weave in and out of traffic. I pass a speed trap that we all know is there, because it’s not a very good hiding place. The cop pulls out of their little spot, and switches on the sirens. They match my speed until they’re right behind me, and then they do something strange. They turn off the siren, and pull back over. Since we’re in flat Kansas, I can see them in my rearview mirror for quite awhile, even at these high speeds. They’re just sitting on the shoulder as if this were a video game that’s not programmed well enough for the NPCs to notice the player once they pass a certain point. I turn around, and start heading back towards them. I don’t mean I get onto the other side of the highway. I’m driving the wrong direction on the shoulder. It’s dangerous as hell, but as I was saying, I don’t care anymore. I can’t. This Nameless person isn’t letting me. I keep going until I’m face to face with the cop. He just smiles at me through the windshield, and gives a salute. What the hell is going? Curious and bold, I step out, and approach from the passenger side. “Mornin’ officer,” I say.

“Mornin’, sir,” he replies in between bites of his own giant bag of Reese’s Pieces. “Almost got up to ninety-five today! Still can’t make a hundred, I see! Ah, I’m just playin’. Anything I can help you with?”

Again. What the hell? Where does this license place get its power?

Microstory 1577: Watching History

< > Table of Contents

Prompt

My family and I are glued to the screen, watching the horror unfold before our eyes, which we painfully muse will one day demand the majority of pages in history books dedicated to this time period.

Botner

Americans are grasping for answers, finding themselves unable to even form a sense of understanding, let alone a coherent response. The media is seizing upon every small tidbit of information, only to discard it as irrelevant, when in fact the story of this nightmare may not be as complicated as it appears on the surface. The violent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado has become the final straw in a series of extremely divisive and emotionally charged social debates, from gun control to the treatment of those with mental illnesses. Let me be very clear, and as informed as possible. This violence is a hate crime. The perpetrator, [redacted], has a documented history of mental illness and a multitude of anti-social behavior and mental health issues. Additionally, a large number of literature highlighting his mentally ill tendencies. The link between mental health and mass shootings is painfully clear, and is the same in regards to the NPI (National Alliance on Mental Illness).

Conclusion

But let us not use mental health issues cloud and forgive personal accountability. So easy is it to let someone off the hook because there is something wrong with their brain. However, no amount of mental problems will lead someone to immediately, and suddenly, start killing people. Mass murderers are made over time, through years of trying out lesser evils, and not being treated properly. Someone who is like that cannot always seek help, but they must be given this help just the same. It is a systemic problem that can be corrected through social changes, policy updates, and a general sense of duty among all of us. I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until I was twenty-seven years old. My parents could not have understood what was going on with me, but my teachers should have had the training to see the signs, and the tools to seek guidance. I’m fine, I developed coping mechanisms, which have helped me survive, even when I didn’t understand myself. Others are not so lucky. Know this, though: even without the ability to test and evaluate each and every child, we should be more wary of just handing out guns to anyone who asks. At the very least, everyone who tries to buy one should undergo some sort of mental health evaluation. If you are deserving and worthy, then you should have no problem letting such legislation pass. If you think you’ll fail any test that the experts devise, then fail it, you should. That’s sort of the whole point. That’s all I’ll say about it.

Microstory 1576: Time Off

< > Table of Contents

[Note: Inferkit appears to be down today, so I had to switch to a different text generator from DeepAI.org. I knew I should have worked ahead. That’s what I get for relying on others. As you’ll see, this one is so much worse, and makes so much less sense.]

Prompt

I hate taking time off of work, because it doesn’t lighten my load. All it means is that I have to work ahead before I leave, and catch up when I return.

Botner

The best part is that I don’t have to leave work if I find one in the near future. This is going to cost you money. I’ve had the luxury of getting a few hours of training this summer, especially since I found out how to write JavaScript. I’ll be working on a rewrite of my JavaScript, on time, at the same time I run errands and make plans for the season, and if I’m out at all I need to get off schedule, all at once. That means the most important thing now, is to be able to do everything I want and still come out tomorrow. What’s the best part about working here? You’ll be much better at your job. Your time and work. So much more productive stuff. Why don’t you work at your school? It sounds silly, but if you want to know how to do something or say something—as opposed to waiting for a deadline and learning a new vocabulary—at your school, I can talk you through how to get started. And because I know a lot of people, I can get started. Also, if you are reading this, your mind is going to be more focused if you spend longer, more time, and more time doing...

Conclusion

...whatever you can to get your point across in the most concise and understandable way. You can’t just jumble your ideas together, and spit them out, expecting everyone to make sense of the mess. The last paragraph was an example of what can go wrong when you try to convey a thought without truly thinking about it ahead of time. I left work last week, confident that everything was finished. But it turned out my boss unloaded a bunch of other stuff for me to do while I was gone. He claims he came in at 4:59, but I don’t leave a second sooner than 5:01 every day, so I know he’s lying. Even if he had showed up before I left the room, he knew I had to leave for my sleep study. I couldn’t stick around this time. Besides, none of this garbage is time sensitive. We’re scanning records that no one will see, and we’re winding down the project, so I have plenty of time. I imagine he wants me to finish as quickly as possible so he can let me go. I’m not a temp, there’s supposed to be more work waiting for me in a few weeks, but this company doesn’t like to do things that way. They got a lot of bad publicity for converting most of their workforce to temps, so they didn’t have to provide benefits. So their solution was to hire permanent workers, and just let them go before the benefits cost them too much money. I don’t think they’re doing that math right, but every time they fire someone, and onboard someone new, their proverbial accounting calculator resets, so they can’t tell how much their new method is costing them. They’ll be sorry in the long run.