Thursday, December 31, 2015

Microstory 224: The Adventures of Braeburn and McIntosh

Detectives Braeburn and McIntosh are two of the toughest cops the Empire of Cortland has ever seen. They’ve just been tapped by the federal government for a special task force, codename Winesap. The team is investigating the wrongdoings of an enemy known only as Northern Spy, operating out of a secret lair in Mount Fuji. The two partners have just infiltrated a special gala at Catshead Manor, hoping that Northern Spy makes a cameo. Until then, they decide to just enjoy the jazz, and have a little fun...

Braeburn: SweeTango, McIntosh! Look at that Pink Lady!
McIntosh: She’s bad news, Braeburn.
Braeburn: So, what?
McIntosh: You know what my Granny Smith always says.
Braeburn: That you’re the apple of her pie?
McIntosh: It’s eye, moron. The expression is “apple of your eye”.
Braeburn: What the heck do apples have to do with eyes?
McIntosh: What do they have to do with—! Oh. Hmm. Whatever, anyway. My granny, she always say, “one bad apple spoils the barrel”. And you know she knows what she’s talking about. She was best friends with the famous Ida Red Macoun.
Braeburn: Hey McIntosh, ain’t that your wife, Melrose? The one standing fireside?
McIntosh: Honeycrisp, what are you doing here?
Melrose: I’m undercover, just like you, Merton. I told you not to use pet names in public. And please call me Ambrosia Antonovka. It’s my fake identity. I’ve been getting to know the wealthy Ginger Gold. And I have made a discovery. Her husband, Jonathan is Northern Spy.
Braeburn: Jon A. Gold is Northern Spy!? He must be using his position as the CEO of Elstar Enterprises as a cover.
Melrose: Keep your voice down, Baldwin. Yes, and he’s planning to assassinate Her Excellency, Lady Alice, along with the Duchess of Oldenburg. Apparently, he has King James Grieve in his pocket, and wants him to come to full power.
Braeburn: Sweet Beauty of Bath, we have to stop him! If he succeeds, it will mean the end of liberty!
Melrose: You two go find him. I need to contact my handler, Ben Davis. He can send out the beacon for reinforcements waiting to be deployed on Bardsey Island.

The three of them go off and catch Northern Spy, foiling his plans for world domination. The day is saved once again, thanks to the hard work of Braeburn and McIntosh. And Melrose.

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