Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Microstory 327: Sewage

Click here for a list of every step.

I know you’re going to laugh about this, but only if you don’t read the explanation. Back in the dark times of this world, we did not have centralized sewer systems. Hell, we didn’t really have any sewer system. People would throw their waste out onto the street...where people were walking...and they would do nothing more than shout gardez l’eau, which means “watch out for the water” and inspired the English word loo because British people gotta Anglicize everything in sight. No matter where you went in the city, you were probably walking on someone’s urine. Like I said, dark times. The moment we started dropping our waste into tanks and processing it was the same moment we became a truly civilized society. I’ve used the word civilization before, and I’ve done so in more general terms, but that’s why I’m calling this truly civilized. Only when we decided to stop shitting where we were eating, were we able to transcend our savage natures, and start on a path towards enlightenment. Yes, you’ve all been led to believe that we were always higher than the pig, but it was only relatively recently that people thought it was a good idea to get that crap as far from us as possible. Original sewage treatment methods allowed us to be more sanitary. It was quite literally a cesspool of disease and other filth. This careful segregation supported a healthier and faster-growing population. Soon, cities were being designed with these concepts in mind, rather than tacking them on ad hoc. Sewers were not the first step towards cultured society, but they were fundamental to it. Advances in water treatment are being made every year; from the backend of the processing plant to the toilets in our homes. Brave men and women handle your sludge every day so that you don’t have to. If you ever encounter one of them...probably don’t shake their hand, but do thank them for their service.

Sanctum Sanctorum

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