Microstory 1258: Entodo Purcell IV

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The Purcell family was always rich enough to afford what they referred to as domestic servants, all of whom spoke barely any English. They preferred it this way, so it would be easier to not see them as real people. They had very strict rules that were impossible to follow about where these servants were meant to clean, and how much. The cleaners would regularly have to reaffirm their directives, often by saying the Spanish phrase en todo? which means throughout. They were asking if the homeowners wanted them to clean the entire room, or not. Their young son, of course, didn’t understand what the phrase meant, but as he grew older, he lost his excuse for his ignorance. There were plenty of books in the Springfield library, some of which would have helped him translate, but he chose to ignore them. When the entire town was sucked into a portal, and relocated to the planet of Durus, the Purcell’s employees no longer had any reason to stick around. Money didn’t mean anything here, so they moved on, and started new lives. The Purcells struggled with this new dynamic, and did not care for the fact that they now had to clean up after themselves. That little boy went on to name his own son Entodo, under the assumption that it was a proper first name. He believed he was doing it in honor of his family’s former workers, and even when the townsfolk laughed at him for his choice, he stuck to his decision. The family made it a tradition, and named all the firstborn sons Entodo, until the fourth one came along after the turn of the 22nd century. He was the only one who was bothered by it, which was frightening and weird, though he never changed it. Technically, he didn’t use his first name much when he was an adult. He joined the army as soon as he was old enough, and he always asked people to address him by his rank. After the war—which ended before Entodo IV’s birth—devastated the lands, all the once separate towns of Durus were pulled together into one giant city. The few monsters that had survived were scattered about, and rare. Society was run by the police, so there wasn’t much need for an army. Still, he was invested in “protecting the borders” as he would say. It was his dedication that propelled him through the ranks, until he reached Common. Over the years, now that Springfield was completely cut off from the rest of Earth, language had been transformed slightly. It was still totally intelligible, but there were a few random words whose meanings had changed, or new terms based on confusions. The word general can mean universally applicable, or it can be short for Captain General. The military rank of Common on Durus is the result of morons who neither understand this difference, nor bothered to figure it out. So here he was, Common Entodo Purcell IV. He was proud of who he was, where he had come from, and what he had accomplished. But he shouldn’t have been, because his story was uninteresting, and his impact on history was minimal.