Monday, February 22, 2021

Microstory 1566: Fresh Start

My wife left me the day we got back from our honeymoon, but she didn’t steal my money. What was her reason?

And what would I do with $6.1 million? This is a really cool question that I never really thought about in all of my years as a family man. We’ve been together for 13 years, and you’ve been there for 10 of those years. So why did your wife, Valerie, divorce you? I have no idea. I assume that she did it because I put my foot in my mouth one day and said something that she took the wrong way, and now she’s moving on and making out with some loser she met on her motorcycle. For the most part, though, I would not change anything about my marriage. So if I suddenly came into $6 million, what would I do? I think it would be nice to take a year to see the world. I’d head out to the moon, or maybe off to Mars, or maybe just jump in a private jet and take a couple of sweet helicopter rides. Then I’d come back, and I’d spend some time at my house in Los Angeles, where I’d have a spectacular view of the ocean and a really nice movie theater. I’d sit in the theater and watch “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” and “A Chorus Line” and “Fargo”. I’d probably also watch some soap operas like “Days of Our Lives” and “General Hospital,” because Valerie can’t stand soap operas. I think I would...

Conclusion whatever the heck I wanted, and wonder why I ever got married in the first place. Oh, and hiking. I would travel the world, and hike all over the place, because I would have no responsibilities. Of course, Valerie would come back to me if I ever won the lottery, but I’m better than that. You don’t like me when I’m poor, you won’t like me when I’m rich; you may just like my money. I think it’s okay to dream, but I have to come back to reality, and focus on my future. I had it all planned out with her, and now that she’s gone, I have to come up with a new plan. It’s actually kind of exciting, being able to start over. When we did it together before, we were young and dumb. I’m wiser now, so the plan will be much better. Perhaps her leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like it’s a fresh start, a new chance. I don’t feel like I wasted my time either, which is how a lot of people in my position would feel. It would devastate them. But I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. I just need to text her right quick to find out where she hid my jerseys. She hated me in them, and said they made me look fat, but now I can wear whatever I want. We need to talk about which restaurants each of us can go to, so we don’t run into each other. You know what, maybe I’ll just call.

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