Prompt
My wife left me the day we got back from our honeymoon, but she didn’t steal
my money. What was her reason?
Botner
And what would I do with $6.1 million? This is a really cool question that I
never really thought about in all of my years as a family man. We’ve been
together for 13 years, and you’ve been there for 10 of those years. So why
did your wife, Valerie, divorce you? I have no idea. I assume that she did
it because I put my foot in my mouth one day and said something that she
took the wrong way, and now she’s moving on and making out with some loser
she met on her motorcycle. For the most part, though, I would not change
anything about my marriage. So if I suddenly came into $6 million, what
would I do? I think it would be nice to take a year to see the world. I’d
head out to the moon, or maybe off to Mars, or maybe just jump in a private
jet and take a couple of sweet helicopter rides. Then I’d come back, and I’d
spend some time at my house in Los Angeles, where I’d have a spectacular
view of the ocean and a really nice movie theater. I’d sit in the theater
and watch “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” and “A Chorus Line” and “Fargo”. I’d
probably also watch some soap operas like “Days of Our Lives” and “General
Hospital,” because Valerie can’t stand soap operas. I think I would...
Conclusion
...do whatever the heck I wanted, and wonder why I ever got married in the
first place. Oh, and hiking. I would travel the world, and hike all over the
place, because I would have no responsibilities. Of course, Valerie would
come back to me if I ever won the lottery, but I’m better than that. You
don’t like me when I’m poor, you won’t like me when I’m rich; you may just
like my money. I think it’s okay to dream, but I have to come back to
reality, and focus on my future. I had it all planned out with her, and now
that she’s gone, I have to come up with a new plan. It’s actually kind of
exciting, being able to start over. When we did it together before, we were
young and dumb. I’m wiser now, so the plan will be much better. Perhaps her
leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like it’s a
fresh start, a new chance. I don’t feel like I wasted my time either, which
is how a lot of people in my position would feel. It would devastate them.
But I’m fine. Really, I’m fine. I just need to text her right quick to find
out where she hid my jerseys. She hated me in them, and said they made me
look fat, but now I can wear whatever I want. We need to talk about which
restaurants each of us can go to, so we don’t run into each other. You know
what, maybe I’ll just call.
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