Thursday, February 4, 2021

Microstory 1554: Shame

The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is check outside to see if anyone is passed out on my lawn. I live next to a frat house, so this is a regular occurrence.

Literally. They have no shame. [Here are nine more things you should know about me.] 3. I have never pooped at a gas station (and probably never will, because I refuse to pay $6 for a cup of coffee...even if they were roasting the beans with their bare hands...a lot). I try to use public restrooms at gas stations when I can, because they are generally cleaner and just usually very busy. 4. I’ve been drunk in 17 states and 7 countries. I love traveling...a lot. 5. I’ve hit a deer and I’ve flipped over a car (not at the same time). 6. I hate mushrooms and I’m vegetarian... but not for cultural reasons. When I’m inebriated I want nothing more than to have a plate of red, heart-shaped things for dessert. 7. I’ve been in a room with 1,000 women and we’ve talked about everything from N’SYNC to soap operas. I’ve come to absolutely love my girlfriends as well as become a healthier person for it...truly. 8. My favorite color is brown. 9. I’ve kissed at least two strangers in my lifetime. 10. I bought my first purse at Target...two years ago. 11. I’m fluent in Korean. I lived in Korea for 10 months and I can actually speak it. 12. I love men...but I love women just as much. I am mostly single, because I’m not sure what I...

...really want out of a relationship. Will anyone truly want me if they know all these personal things about me? It has taken a long time for society to accept homosexuality, and we are nowhere near out of the woods yet. Omnisexuality, which is how I identify, is so much harder. Even gay people don’t accept us. They think that we should just get off the fence, and decide already. Of course, that’s not how it works, and they’re being just as ignorant as people have always been, but I’ll keep trying to change their minds. The frat guys are actually pretty cool. The fact that they pass out on my lawn has nothing to do with me, it’s just proximity. My older brother is a lawyer, and he says this could turn into a problem, though. If one of them were to end up dead, or something, I could be liable for the damages, even though I don’t even know the guy, and I didn’t do anything wrong. He tells me I should invest in a front yard fence, but nobody has those anymore, and it’s not exactly on brand for me. Besides, I would rather they end up sleeping on my lawn than trying to drive home after the party. Still, I feel I should do something, but I don’t want to seem elitist, or anything. People think that about me when I say I don’t eat meat anymore. I’m probably overthinking all of this, and I should just stick to my own problems, and worry about who I’m going to take as my date to my cousin’s wedding. There’s this guy I really like, and I think he would be interested, but there are those in my family who do not know about me, and positively would not approve. Should I ignore them, and take the guy anyway, or should I make sure the night doesn’t end up about me, and let my cousin have her special day? Everyone else gets to take whoever they want, though. Why should I pretend to be someone I’m not? Perhaps these situations are exactly when we should start expecting people to learn to be better.

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