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Hey, everyone, this is Kelly again. Things are not going well. As you may have
realized, Nick is not well. We thought that we were totally past this, but we
were wrong. He proved that he was once immortal by being cured of the prion
disease, and now he’s incidentally proving that he’s no longer immortal by
suffering from something else. We didn’t know what we were dealing with at
first, but we were very worried for him. He’s been very fatigued and weak
lately, which he attributed to a lack of consistent and comfortable sleeping
situations. But that just didn’t seem to be enough to explain how dramatically
he was declining. And then that last post. It was written so poorly, and
wasn’t like him at all. We knew that something else had gone wrong; something
specific that could be tested for, and not just remedied homeopathically.
Everyone’s first thought was yet another pathogen of some kind, since he seems
to have become a magnet for them. I’m sure that a lot of you were all thinking
the same thing, as his posts were reminiscent of the kind that he wrote during
other infections. That’s not what it is, though, and not because he’s run out
of those. Some of you seem to feel like he can’t get another infection,
because he’s already had every kind, but that’s not how it works. He’s had
every classification. He could get a thousand different ones over the course
of the next half century, and he will still not have contracted everything
that the world has to offer. And you can become reinfected with the same exact
disease anyway; we’ve never cured any of them. But no, that has nothing to do
with it anyway. It’s poison. He has been poisoned. The hospital ran a battery
of tests, and came to the conclusion that it’s an organophosphate. Don’t ask
me to say that out loud. They are commonly found in pesticides, which is why
the majority of patients live or work on farms, or in facilities would use
these pesticides, or which take part in the manufacturing of them. But those
are not the only ways to encounter it. You can eat contaminated food, or even
be exposed to it from a chemical explosion. None of these apply to Nick. Well,
he’s eaten food, of course, but we’ve all eaten the same things, and have not
tested positive for the stuff. The most likely answer is that someone poisoned
him deliberately. I don’t know if they were trying to kill him, or only
wrongly trying to prove that he’s still immortal, or what, but we will not
tolerate that. We’ve spoken with the proper authorities, and a major
investigation is underway. Since these chemicals are sometimes used in
terroristic plots, the FBI is on the case, not just for Nick, but because such
a bad actor places the whole country at risk. So be warned, they’re going to
find you, and you will pay. As for Nick himself, he is receiving the treatment
that he needs, and the medical professionals expect a full recovery
eventually. If you did this to him, you better hope for a positive outcome, or
you will be in even bigger trouble than you already are.
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