Microstory 2565: Would-be Assassin

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I do not care about Landis Tipton. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill the disease that he’s carrying. I still do, and one day, I’ll get out of here, and finish my mission. About five years ago, I was minding my own business, cleaning our streets, when five randos showed up and started talking about trying to make me “a better man”. I’m already who I ever needed to be. I answered my calling when I was sixteen years old, and I’ve never regretted it. I’ve never regretted anything, except letting them get away... I allowed them to try their new psychology on me because I didn’t understand that they had magical powers, and by the time I realized that they were the real deal, I couldn’t stop them. They started messing with my head; making me see things that weren’t there, and feel things that I didn’t want to feel. I tried to fight back, but they used their witchcraft to subdue me. It took everything I had in my soul to break free. They would get tired, you know. Their abilities don’t work forever, so I was able to overpower them eventually. I was so angry. They didn’t get who I was. There was nothing broken in me. I thought they were going to make me better at my job, but they wanted me to give it up. Not only that, but they wanted to convince me to turn myself in! Can you believe that? After all their talk about a holistic healing, it wasn’t to make a difference, because in their minds, I belonged in jail anyway. Well, as they were screaming for their lives, they told me that I would feel better about myself, even while I was locked up, but I couldn’t have it. They somehow knew what I did, and I couldn’t let them keep on living, or they would tell everyone. I’m not even entirely sure if they did, but it was too much of a risk after my failure, so I went into hiding. I went into deep hiding. I was so far off the grid that I had no clue what was going on with the rest of the world. No radio, no TV, no phone. I was trying to lay low for a while so when I came back out, no one would be looking for me. I don’t think that my attackers knew my identity; they just knew what I had done using their voodoo woowoo. Anyway, I was badly injured, ironically enough, and it was bad enough that I had to go into town to get supplies. That was when I saw the headline. It was about this guy who could heal people. One of my attackers healed me, because they didn’t want me to be physically injured. They were more into the mental torment. I knew he had something to do with it. Maybe he was one of their sons, or whatever. I did some more research, and pieced together that he must have gotten all of their powers. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but they likely went into hiding too, and I had no idea who they were, so how was I gonna find them? I figured he was the next best thing. I soon caught wind that he was gonna make an appearance on a talk show, so that was my opportunity. I had it all planned out perfectly, but I underestimated the amount of security they would have for a guy who seemingly can’t even die. They caught me. They didn’t even publicize it, which will make it easier when I try again, so that’s a plus, I guess. People love this guy, but I know that its all part of his plot to lull us into complacency. He won’t get away with it. They never do...not when I’m involved.

Microstory 2562: Worshiper

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People are missing the point, and I am profoundly frustrated by it. I can barely put it into words. Landis Tipton is not a man. He’s not just a hero. He is a god. Do not mistake my words for metaphor. He is literally the earthly manifestation of a deity. I can prove it. If you just read the text, you’ll see that he checks all the boxes, and that he is the embodiment of the one who created us. I was not very religious growing up, and that’s because people were just telling me things. They didn’t have any evidence of anything. They simply said, “this happened in the past.” And I’m all, “how do you know?” And they’re, like, “they wrote it down.” So I respond, “it’s been proven that they were written down no sooner than decades after the events supposedly happened.” “Well, you see, time—” Blah, blah, blah. You haven’t shown me anything. Anyone can write anything down, it doesn’t mean it’s true. But Landis Tipton? He’s true. He’s definitely real, and I know this, because I’ve seen it. Well, I haven’t personally seen it up close, but I keep trying. I keep trying to become a patient advocate, because I don’t qualify for a healing myself, but no one will hire me, or even train me. I get too excited, and honest, and people know how much I love him, so they stop me. They’re demons, is what they are. They’re keeping me from my bêlovèd, because they know that he only gets stronger when he’s surrounded by his devotees. That’s what I call myself. Others may call me a worshiper at best, or a nutjob at worst, but I don’t care. I know that Landis is the truth, and the way. He made our world, and gave us the chance to suffer, or to not, and we sadly chose the former. He wants us to have free will, but he wants us to live too, and to be happy. So instead of ordering us to change, or even simply snapping his divine fingers, and making it so, he returned to give us a new choice. We can devote ourselves to him, and be cured in the spirit of our savior, or we can reject him, and die. That’s not a threat, it’s an inevitability. Think about it. Death isn’t just this thing that happens at the end of your life. It’s always caused by something. That’s just science. If he can cure everything, there’s no reason for anyone to die. It’s only been five years, but come on, our immortality in the divine light is obviously where this all leads. How can you not see it? He’s not curing diseases, you morons. He’s ending death! I swear, the people who only see the present, and don’t realize what this all really means. It’s so clear. It’s not even a puzzle that you have to solve. He’s already doing it, we just haven’t seen anyone live past 120 already, because there hasn’t been enough time. Wake up! Once you recognize his power, the next logical step is realizing that he is not only one man, healing one person at a time. He is giving us everything we need to be as sacred as him, and we don’t even need to stand in line for it. I think there’s a reason that I don’t need to be healed. He’s already done that for me, because of how devoted I am—because I am a true believer. I’ll prove that soon. I’ll prove to you that I can’t die. Just you wait and watch.

Microstory 2146: To Participate

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There are consequences to your actions, people. Never forget that. I’m not saying that I’m being punished here, but my website does get read by a number of people, including the jail’s personnel. Based on my weird last two installments, it has been suggested to me that I start to struggle more when I’m unable to have my usual weekly therapy session, for whatever reason. I don’t think it always matters so much what she and I discuss, just that I have time to talk to someone who has been trained to listen and try to understand others. I think that’s a fair assessment. Just looking back on my past posts, and reflecting on my recent life, it sounds about right that I go a little crazy sometimes. I think I was meant to have group sessions all along while I was in jail, but I sort of forgot about it, and the expectation is that I manage my schedule myself. No one is going to force me to talk to anyone about anything in particular. Some people are given more detailed sentences in this regard, but mine was purposefully vague. Even so, it’s a good idea, so I participated in group on Saturday. I didn’t really want to participate directly. In fact, I think maybe it should be expected that a newbie keep their mouth shut on their first day, and just listen to the veterans first. I don’t mean to imply that no one has anything worthy of being heard during their first session, just that it might foster a safer and more welcoming environment to not introduce people so shockingly suddenly to an established group. Give us time to acclimate, ya know?

Well, I was forced to talk, because as I’ve explained, I’m kind of famous. Some were not happy that I was there, and/or not happy about the developments on my website. Due to my belief that I’m a traveler from another universe, they think that I should be given stricter rules when it comes to my personal mental health journey. I’m obviously crazy, and need to be medicated, heavily therapized, and maybe locked up 24/7. I must say, I totally see where they’re coming from. If I’m so convinced that time travel is real, then a group session where I talk about how much I miss my dog—who is supposedly being taken care of by an alternate version of me—is probably not enough. It might be taking time away from people who have more grounded problems. If I were trying to work through what they perceive to be my delusions, that would be a different story, but since I’m holding firm to them, and the group leader is making no effort to change that, I imagine that that can get pretty annoying. That’s one reason why I didn’t want to talk the first time, and why I don’t know if I ever want to talk at all. I am from another world, and I’m never going to claim otherwise, because it would be a lie, and that would be worse. I hope that my fellow patients can learn to accept that, as I make an effort to accept their drug addictions and domestic violence issues, which I’ve never had a problem with personally. For now, I have no reason to believe that I won’t be able to have my regular private session with my own therapist this coming Wednesday, so hopefully I can get back on track then. Oh, and one more thing, for this Sunday’s social media post, I wrote this cryptic question about a snake eating its own tail in real life. There’s no hidden meaning behind that. I just didn’t have anything real to say, so I just kind of randomly started typing words, and that’s what came out. If you interpreted it as a puzzle, or thought experiment, or something, don’t worry about it anymore. I just don’t like to skip days. Maybe I should talk to my therapist about that.

Microstory 1548: Wrong-of-Way

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I’m not one for rules. I don’t care if you don’t pay your ________, or shoplift from a major store ________. You shouldn’t be able to hurt ________, but if you get in a fight, and you’re both on ________ footing, then whatever, right? There are certain ________, however, that you can’t ignore. Road rules. Most people seem to understand that traffic ________ are there to ensure everyone’s safety, but what they don’t under____ is that they’re also there to facilitate traffic. When you come to a four-way ________, we’ve decided that it’s first-come first-serve. That’s what makes the most sense, and if you tried to do it in ________, it would be crazy, and I don’t want to live in that ________. When you get there before me, please just go. You don’t even have to wait until I come to a complete ________. As soon as you’ve stopped for a reasonable amount of ________—which is measured in seconds—then just move on. Waving me through before you is ________ polite. It is not a nice ________ to do. It’s irritating, because it’s unexpected, and unconventional. Follow the ________. If you just went when it was your ________, you would be out of my way before I even needed to go anyway, so stop ____ting my time and patting yourself on the back like you’re some ________ of generous street hero. I’m ranting now, but the ________ is that the laws are there to get everyone to their destination as ________ as possible. They’re not pointless, and they are not random. They’re all ________ logical, so they shouldn’t be too hard to ________. This is unlike, say, learning another language, which will be made up of almost ________ arbitrary rules that could go either way. I say all this because I’ve always been a really ________ driver. I’m fast, yes. I speed, yes. But damn am I good, and I’m nothing if not the least intrusive fellow ________ ever. It may seem like I ________ you off, but I’ll go zero to forty-five in two ________ flat, and you won’t, so me being in front of you is no different from your perspective than me just not being there at all. I’ve never been in an ________, and I always stay out of people’s ________. Today is different. Today, I ________ up.

I always take the same route to ________, because it’s familiar, and I know all the tricks. I don’t just mean I know the ____est way there, and where the pot____ are. I also know what the traffic is going to ________. This changes throughout the week, throughout the ________, and throughout the year. I know when school’s on, and when it’s not. I know how ________ the other drivers are going to go, and when they’re going to slow ________. I drive in the ________ lane for most of the highway, but there’s this stretch of it where everyone slows ________, because a chain of cars comes in from the right, and they’re all delusional about how fast they actually are. I have to ________ over to the ________ lane to pass ________. Sometimes I even jog over to the exit lane, and quickly get ________ in, which I’m pretty ________ is illegal, but some ________ are only for ________ who can’t handle it. Anyway, I get off the ________ today, and there’s construction all over ________. I don’t know how all this sprung up overnight, but I think it’s fine, because I’m familiar enough with the ________ to find my way around it, even if it’s not the detour that the signs are claiming is ________. This is where ________ get interesting. I’m going down a ________ I’ve never been on before, and I see orange ________ up ahead, but not roadblocks, so I figure it must be ________. There’s a caravan of others behind me, because I guess they’ve ________ me as their leader. I make the slight ________, and head for the cones, but there’s a problem. I can’t tell which side is open for traffic, and which is for the construction ________. There’s a tiny little baby sign for babies, with an arrow pointing towards the ________, but I don’t see it in time, and end up on the left. No, this isn’t ________. This is the lane for oncoming ________. I thought they were supposed to be on the far side of the ________, but nope, they’re right here. And so am I. So are we. The cones are close together, but I should have just run one ________, because now we’re in between concrete ________, and there’s another caravan coming ________ us. We all stop. We can’t move. And more ________are coming.