Microstory 2565: Would-be Assassin

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I do not care about Landis Tipton. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I never wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill the disease that he’s carrying. I still do, and one day, I’ll get out of here, and finish my mission. About five years ago, I was minding my own business, cleaning our streets, when five randos showed up and started talking about trying to make me “a better man”. I’m already who I ever needed to be. I answered my calling when I was sixteen years old, and I’ve never regretted it. I’ve never regretted anything, except letting them get away... I allowed them to try their new psychology on me because I didn’t understand that they had magical powers, and by the time I realized that they were the real deal, I couldn’t stop them. They started messing with my head; making me see things that weren’t there, and feel things that I didn’t want to feel. I tried to fight back, but they used their witchcraft to subdue me. It took everything I had in my soul to break free. They would get tired, you know. Their abilities don’t work forever, so I was able to overpower them eventually. I was so angry. They didn’t get who I was. There was nothing broken in me. I thought they were going to make me better at my job, but they wanted me to give it up. Not only that, but they wanted to convince me to turn myself in! Can you believe that? After all their talk about a holistic healing, it wasn’t to make a difference, because in their minds, I belonged in jail anyway. Well, as they were screaming for their lives, they told me that I would feel better about myself, even while I was locked up, but I couldn’t have it. They somehow knew what I did, and I couldn’t let them keep on living, or they would tell everyone. I’m not even entirely sure if they did, but it was too much of a risk after my failure, so I went into hiding. I went into deep hiding. I was so far off the grid that I had no clue what was going on with the rest of the world. No radio, no TV, no phone. I was trying to lay low for a while so when I came back out, no one would be looking for me. I don’t think that my attackers knew my identity; they just knew what I had done using their voodoo woowoo. Anyway, I was badly injured, ironically enough, and it was bad enough that I had to go into town to get supplies. That was when I saw the headline. It was about this guy who could heal people. One of my attackers healed me, because they didn’t want me to be physically injured. They were more into the mental torment. I knew he had something to do with it. Maybe he was one of their sons, or whatever. I did some more research, and pieced together that he must have gotten all of their powers. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but they likely went into hiding too, and I had no idea who they were, so how was I gonna find them? I figured he was the next best thing. I soon caught wind that he was gonna make an appearance on a talk show, so that was my opportunity. I had it all planned out perfectly, but I underestimated the amount of security they would have for a guy who seemingly can’t even die. They caught me. They didn’t even publicize it, which will make it easier when I try again, so that’s a plus, I guess. People love this guy, but I know that its all part of his plot to lull us into complacency. He won’t get away with it. They never do...not when I’m involved.

Microstory 2564: Protester

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This is ridiculous. I can’t believe how small our movement is. It’s growing, but not nearly fast enough. Landis Tipton is not all that he’s made out to be. Sure, curing all disease sounds great, but there are major issues with it that not everyone can see. First of all, we have no idea what long-term health consequences there are from being healed. He could be giving everyone cancer. Cancer is when your cells multiply out of control, and even if you claim that he has control over the repairs while he’s breathing on them, what happens five years later, or ten, or thirty? We don’t know. They haven’t done nearly enough studies on the subject. He just bought a freaking hotel, and people just flocked there like he was a god. Some people actually believe he is a god, which is another issue, though we don’t argue that in our literature, or during our demonstrations, because it’s a sensitive subject. What’s not sensitive, and what every single person needs to understand, is that so much of our economy is centered around health and wellness. I know it sounds cold, but disease and deaths are necessities in life. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Medical professionals, food vendors, funeral homes, insurance companies, nutritionists and dieticians, fitness trainers, pharmaceutical companies. Hell, even personal injury law firms. There are so many others. They all rely on a world that isn’t perfect, and they do not exist in a vacuum. When you take all those things down, what happens to everything else? It doesn’t work. It falls apart. Again, I may sound callous to you, but you have to think about the ramifications of your actions. Landis, and this goddamn panacea they’re trying to make, is going to do more harm than good, and I firmly believe that. Now, if we had a universal basic income, and if we had more robust automation, I might think it’s okay. But we are woefully unprepared for what’s to come. We are not ready for the paradigm shifting changes that this drug will make. We’re holding it at bay, because Landis Tipton is only one man so his impact on these sectors is minimal. But if that’s about to change, we are royally, totally, and fundamentally screwed. I don’t think you can imagine what’s going to happen to the world. No one’s gonna be able to afford the panacea when they lose their jobs. “Oh, we’ll make it free.” I’ve heard no confirmation on that, and it introduces a plethora of other issues. It will be a logistical nightmare. This has to be stopped right now. We cannot let it move on. We can let Landis do his thing, but his work schedule has to be severely shrunk, and research on this miracle cure has to end immediately! People think I’m crazy, and an asshole, but honestly—and I don’t really like to say this—but I’m smarter than you. I’m telling you, bad things are going to come of this. It will not lead us to the paradise you’ve been sold. Sell it back, it’s not worth it. Please. Please!

Microstory 2563: Injured Visitor

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Let me start with my backstory, so you’ll understand why I was at the Foundation in the first place, because it wasn’t to be healed. It’s a complex situation that my family has been grappling with for years, and questioning whether we should attempt to correct the issue since Landis Tipton first showed up. My brother was born with a genetic condition known as T21. Its full name is hard to type out and pronounce, but it’s also often known as Trisomy 21. This is when the patient develops an extra copy of chromosome 21, and it results in a particular facial look, as well as neurological differences. My brother is a functioning young adult, who can put his own clothes on in the morning, and make his own meals. There are things he struggles with, though. He doesn’t need anyone to take care of him—he’s not going to forget to breathe—but he does need some help. It has been hard for him to learn skills that others take for granted, like managing his finances, and navigating the world around him. The biggest problem he faces is discrimination. He has needed assistance finding work, and keeping it, because people don’t understand him. They don’t understand that, while he’s not so good in an interview, he’s good at the work that he’s looking for, he can follow directions to a T, and he’ll never let you down. They keep firing him, because he doesn’t want to engage in certain adult-oriented conversations, and I think that some people just don’t like the way he looks or talks. You can tell that he has T21, because of its defining characteristics, and instead of being accepting, they just want everyone to be the same. One other area he needs help with is healthcare, which is where I come in. He lives with me, and I accompany him on his appointments, which he needs, because he’s at a higher risk of developing true medical conditions. This is what happened. He now has Leukemia, and we’ve been treating it accordingly. We wanted to get him cured, but we were worried what it would do to him. What exactly are Mr. Tipton’s limits? What exactly is a “disease”?

Trisomy 21 is a part of who my brother is, and he does not need to be “cured” of it, but we weren’t sure if the healing process did consider it a disease. The literature says that Landis doesn’t control it. He breathes, and the breath cures everything. After further research, however, we felt assured that he would be all right. They called T21 a condition of state, and not within Mr. Tipton’s purview. As always, I took him to his appointment, and we stayed in a tent, with plans to be there for two nights while we waited. When we woke up one morning, my brother wanted to go on a walk, which we do regularly. Unfortunately, we are not familiar with this area, and didn’t know what to expect. I slipped on some wet leaves on a hill, tried to grab a log on instinct to keep from falling, and ended up with that log on top of me. I was impaled by a sharp snag. I told my brother to run for help while I, dazed and confused, pulled the snag off, stood up, and started limping back. Here was the new question, would Landis agree to help me since I was injured on the property? The answer was no, but he was not without mercy. He used his other gifts on me instead. He sang me to contentment, and soothed my pain through touch. This allowed me to make it to the hospital, which was pretty far away, without being in agony the whole time, but also without breaking their rule against healing injuries. They even let my brother cut in line, so he could get his cure in time to go with me in the ambulance. I think they keep an ambulance on hand now because of this incident, so that’s kind of cool.

Microstory 2562: Worshiper

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People are missing the point, and I am profoundly frustrated by it. I can barely put it into words. Landis Tipton is not a man. He’s not just a hero. He is a god. Do not mistake my words for metaphor. He is literally the earthly manifestation of a deity. I can prove it. If you just read the text, you’ll see that he checks all the boxes, and that he is the embodiment of the one who created us. I was not very religious growing up, and that’s because people were just telling me things. They didn’t have any evidence of anything. They simply said, “this happened in the past.” And I’m all, “how do you know?” And they’re, like, “they wrote it down.” So I respond, “it’s been proven that they were written down no sooner than decades after the events supposedly happened.” “Well, you see, time—” Blah, blah, blah. You haven’t shown me anything. Anyone can write anything down, it doesn’t mean it’s true. But Landis Tipton? He’s true. He’s definitely real, and I know this, because I’ve seen it. Well, I haven’t personally seen it up close, but I keep trying. I keep trying to become a patient advocate, because I don’t qualify for a healing myself, but no one will hire me, or even train me. I get too excited, and honest, and people know how much I love him, so they stop me. They’re demons, is what they are. They’re keeping me from my bêlovèd, because they know that he only gets stronger when he’s surrounded by his devotees. That’s what I call myself. Others may call me a worshiper at best, or a nutjob at worst, but I don’t care. I know that Landis is the truth, and the way. He made our world, and gave us the chance to suffer, or to not, and we sadly chose the former. He wants us to have free will, but he wants us to live too, and to be happy. So instead of ordering us to change, or even simply snapping his divine fingers, and making it so, he returned to give us a new choice. We can devote ourselves to him, and be cured in the spirit of our savior, or we can reject him, and die. That’s not a threat, it’s an inevitability. Think about it. Death isn’t just this thing that happens at the end of your life. It’s always caused by something. That’s just science. If he can cure everything, there’s no reason for anyone to die. It’s only been five years, but come on, our immortality in the divine light is obviously where this all leads. How can you not see it? He’s not curing diseases, you morons. He’s ending death! I swear, the people who only see the present, and don’t realize what this all really means. It’s so clear. It’s not even a puzzle that you have to solve. He’s already doing it, we just haven’t seen anyone live past 120 already, because there hasn’t been enough time. Wake up! Once you recognize his power, the next logical step is realizing that he is not only one man, healing one person at a time. He is giving us everything we need to be as sacred as him, and we don’t even need to stand in line for it. I think there’s a reason that I don’t need to be healed. He’s already done that for me, because of how devoted I am—because I am a true believer. I’ll prove that soon. I’ll prove to you that I can’t die. Just you wait and watch.

Microstory 2561: Filmmaker

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I worked with Genesis Ventura on a drama we made a few years ago called South Leaving. She had to learn an Ozark accent for that role, and she did very well with it. A lot of people don’t realize that before her most recent visit, she had been to Kansas, because we filmed some scenes in all three border states near South Leaving. It wasn’t as popular as some of the other things that she’s done, but she didn’t complain. She may seem like your average out-of-touch Hollywood star, but she has some real depth, and the craft is important to her. We’ve stayed friends since our project, so I was one of the first people she told about her meeting with Landis Tipton. I mean, she didn’t give details, but I can connect the dots. It suddenly clicked. I knew that I needed to do a biopic about him. They’re making a documentary, but this would be different. This would be a true story, but dramatized, and still scripted. That’s where I shine. The first thing I did was approach the Foundation’s publicist about securing Mr. Tipton’s life rights. She was hesitant to agree, but it wasn’t her decision, so she quickly brought in their lawyer. I have been working with the two of them, waiting for answers for a few weeks now. It’s unclear if they’ve talked with Mr. Tipton about it, but I’m worried about the answer. He’s known to be a very private person, but I think a lot of that has to do with his demanding work schedule. He did that one talk show interview recently, but he doesn’t have time to go on the circuit, or anything. That is going to be the toughest challenge. In order to tell his story the right way, I need access to the man, the legend. Being able to speak with his associates, and seeing him in action, won’t be enough to make this work. The way I frame it, someone is going to make this movie. Someone maybe already is working on it. In order to combat misinformation, they have to take control of the narrative. I can give them that. I’m very highly respected in the industry, and I’m known for my integrity. I’m going to tell the truth while not focusing on anything negative that might have happened in his past. I’m not here to expose the world to his whole life. The documentary can do that. I wanna know about the Foundation. I wanna know what’s happening right now. My contemporaries believe that it’s too early. His story isn’t ready yet. And to that I say...sequel, anyone? Biopics don’t usually get sequels, but I don’t see why not, especially when dealing with a living figure. Plenty of biographies come in multi-volume sets. If there’s too much story to tell, then find a way to tell it all without rushing it. I’m still holding onto the hope that he’ll say yes. I think it’s in his best interests to, but that’s for him to decide. All I can do is make my pitch.

Microstory 2560: Genesis Ventura

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Hi, I’m Genesis. You may know me from my hit romances like Firetown Treasures and Promise Harp, or from my epic failure buddy comedy, That Ain’t Fire. I’m not saying that I was ever hoping to get sick, and I certainly didn’t try to make myself sick, but I did want to meet Landis Tipton in person. He’s such a wonderful man, whose story and mission really speaks to me. Who wouldn’t want to know such a guy? Well, I pulled some strings, and got myself a meeting with him. I didn’t even need to fill out an application, and while I didn’t go there for a healing, he did technically breathe on me. Like, a lot. We had a nice dinner, prepared by his personal chef, and we talked all night. He told me about why he started the Foundation, and what he did with his life before this. I told him how I got into acting, and how I would like to take on some more dramatic roles, and not just be the hot girl anymore. We have a whole lot in common, and I had a really great time. Now I’m not one to kiss and tell, but let’s just say I know one consort whose appointment with Landis had to be pushed back a night, if you know what I mean. He and I exchanged contact info, and we’ve texted a little bit, but I doubt we’ll ever have the chance to hook up again. I live halfway across the country, I’m so busy with my acting schedule, and I guess he still has that thing where he literally saves thousands of people’s lives every day. He was really sweet, and a total gentleman. Five out of five, totally recommend. I don’t think he has much time to socialize, so I’m glad that I got him a little bit of time to just relax and be himself. He’s so...always on. People expect him to be the healer, so his true personality never gets to shine through. I hope to see him again one day, but if it never happens, at least we’ll always have that magical night. And hey, I hear murmurs of our story maybe being turned into a movie. I wonder who will play me? How about...me!

Microstory 2559: Talk Show Host

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And so she said, “why don’t you try lifting it up first? I promise, you can’t miss it!” *Crowd laughs* We have a great show for you tonight. Landis Tipton is here! *Hold for applause* That’s right. They said he’d never do it, but he took time out of his incredibly busy schedule to come talk to us, and I can’t wait for you to hear what he has to say. Before we get to our first guest, I want to talk to you about Mr. Tipton. *Don’t cry* This story is near and dear to my heart. As many of you know, my mother was diagnosed with cervical cancer seven years ago. She was given a four-year prognosis, and we did everything to make them the best years of her life. When we heard about Mr. Tipton’s foundation, we were...cautiously excited. Here was a real way for my mother to live longer and healthier, but we knew that it was no guarantee. A year ago, however, our application was accepted, and she was able to receive her breath of life. That’s right. My mother beat the odds even when she still had cancer, which she doesn’t anymore. Her doctors can’t find any trace of it in her body. It’s like it was never there. I’ve been hoping for an interview as long as Landis has been on the scene, but my people lobbied hard for it after news broke of my mother’s success story. She’s actually here, and will be one of the few honored with the opportunity to thank her savior in person after the fact. There she is. Smile for the camera, mom. *More applause* Oh. Yes. Thank you, thank you! So much love in this house, I’m so grateful. Okay, my producer is tapping on his watch, so I better wrap this up. I usually don’t get to talk this long after my jokes. We have a great show for you! *Cheers* Random Spans is playing for us! *Louder cheers* Genesis Ventura is here to speak with us! *Even louder cheers* Stick around! *Music plays*

Microstory 2558: Documentarian

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I am a historian, if you can believe it. That’s what I studied in college, graduate school, and for my PhD. That’s what I wanted to teach at university. I was competing for jobs against some really great, knowledgeable people, and there just weren’t enough spots for all of us. In order to make a little cash while I kept looking for work, I started to make documentaries online. I called my channel Fourk History, because I made it with a four prong approach. The way I see it, not everyone trying to learn something is trying to learn the same stuff, and definitely not the same way. Instead of only making one video on a topic, I decided to make four. Quick aside, some people who start watching my videos don’t realize this, and call me “Mr. Fourk”. That’s not my name. It kind of sounds like a name, but it’s a blending word. That’s it. As I was saying, four videos. One video is one or two minutes long. This gives you a very brief overview on some historical moment. Watch one of these if you just haven’t heard of Daun Macht 1912, or the Peace Treaty of Alslierde. You don’t wanna look foolish in front of your friends, or you just want to be able to answer a question with a reasonable expectation of accuracy on trivia night. My seven- to ten-minute long videos go a little deeper. This is what you’ll need if you’re trying to answer one or two short answer questions on a homework assignment or exam. It’s not enough to write an entire paper, but it gives you a decent understanding of the topic. The longest video can take up to an hour, and this is what you need if you are writing that paper focused solely on this subject matter. The fourth and final prong is the full course, for people who are serious about history. It’s not a perfect analogy, because said course will be a convergence of multiple trio sets, for different topics. Like, you’ll get three vids on The Battle of Sandsbarry Wharf, and three different ones on the Siege of Green Hamlet. Both of these happened during the First Colshire War, which will comprehensively be a course, covering both battles and topics, among others. I don’t know why I’m bringing all of this up, but I think someone at the Landis Tipton Breath of Life Foundation liked my stuff, or at least found it useful, because they have asked me to document their story in an official capacity. I don’t work for them, and I have full creative control over the direction of my piece. This is the largest project I’ve ever started, but I know that I can handle it, because I’ve been writing and performing video essays and full lectures for years now, having long ago given up on teaching only one class at a time. I have eleven million subscribers now, so I know what I’m doing. I’m not saying that there’s some scandalous secrets at the hotel, but whatever the truth is—even if all is as it appears to be—I’ll find it. I’ve never explored the present day before, but that’s what’s so great about the opportunity. I’m here on the ground, watching history in the making.

Microstory 2557: Publicist

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I took my first journalism class in my freshman year of high school, and joined the school paper as soon as I could. I figured that’s what I was going to do with my life, and I don’t regret the time and energy I spent on concentrating on that. However. When I became an adult, I started to be a little smarter. I had a better grasp on the world, and was more knowledgeable than ever before. This made me a better journalist, but it also made me cynical. No longer did I only understand the scope of any article, but also its context in the grand scheme of things. I was frustrated with only being able to report on the truth, rather than being able to make changes to the truth. I found myself wanting to control the narrative. There was no public relations degree where I went to college, but it was all I could afford, so I majored in Communications. I know, I know, what a cliché, right? Well, it was better than something meaningless, like philosophy, and it got me in the door at a public relations firm, where I worked throughout most of my career. The Foundation hired me because of my exemplary track record in my field, and because I applied. They didn’t choose me after seeing a particular press conference, like my mom has been claiming. What I said was the interviewer happened to see one of my conferences, and I said that that probably helped get me the job, because people tend to gravitate towards familiarity. I was not a celebrity prior to my work here. I’m a celebrity now, because all eyes are on Mr. Tipton, and the Foundation, and I am standing in front of them both. I don’t really have to deal with any scandals, but the Legacy Department is extremely controversial, so I do have to maintain a positive public image for the program. It helps that it’s run by an ethical team, and no woman has come forward with a story of discomfort or inappropriate behavior. It’s just this thing that’s always hanging over my head. No matter how many people we heal, they all wanna know about the consorts. Are they okay? Is anyone being forced to be there? What is the minimum age requirement? I’ll respond accordingly to anything that’s thrown at me, because that’s my job, but I do get sick of it sometimes. A part of me misses having a different story to tell every day. But it’s okay, I know that I’m on the right side of history, so that provides me some peace of mind that I wasn’t usually able to say prior to this role. I sleep great at night now, and that wasn’t always true.

Microstory 2556: Web Developer

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I knew what I wanted to do with my life from a pretty young age. I taught myself HTML and CSS when I was in fourth grade, and started three surprisingly successful websites that demonstrated my skills. They were stupid, and thank God, defunct now, but they were my first little babies. I took all the computer classes I could in high school. I had to ask my guidance counselor to waive the language requirement, because I did not have time to learn it. I was learning javascript. That is a language, and these days, some schools which also have a language minimum include it in their lists. I never went to a four-year program, because it would have been a waste of time. I would have gotten a degree in art history, or something, and cost my parents tens of thousands of dollars for nothing. Again, I knew what I wanted to do. I earned an associate’s degree in Web Development and Graphic Design, which was helpful because graphics have never come easy for me. I’m much better with deep coding, and logical operations. After I completed that, I felt ready to really lean into my specialization, and ended up being accepted into a Coding Bootcamp. Unlike other programs, this one lasted for eighteen months. What they do there is teach you how to write code from scratch, and build your own libraries. It’s kind of this open secret that most coders don’t write most of their code. They copy and paste, and there’s nothing wrong with that, except there is, because that’s where the bugs come from. If your phone ever randomly closes an app on you, or two separate programs claim that they’re compatible with each other, but you can’t get them to share data properly, it’s probably because the developer didn’t know how to do a thing they needed to do. To make it work, they found a resource. This other resource gave them something similar to what they needed, and they were smart enough to adapt it for their needs. The problem with this technique is there’s no cohesion in the code. You can tell either that that’s how they did it, or multiple people worked on different sections, and then they had to stitch everything together. Mama don’t play that way.

My code is mine, and it works flawlessly because I wrote it all myself, and I did it using consistent conventions, which promotes flow and compatibility. Now, I’m not saying things don’t go wrong. People are still accessing my site from browsers that I have no control over, and with extensions that interfere with it, but for the most part, it’s a well-oiled machine. I keep a watchful eye over it, and man do I pay attention to those bug reports and complaints. A lot of tech companies don’t do that, because they don’t want to spend the time on it. Fixing bugs doesn’t make them money. Only signing up new users, or generating more traffic, can do that. The application process is complicated. The way you answer one question changes what questions are asked of you afterwards. This is not easy to program, but I can do it, because I worked hard, and I’m passionate about perfection. Candidates do not want to get all the way through the application, only to be kicked out because they missed a question, or because their internet cut out for a millisecond. I prevent those disruptions. I save their work. I don’t make mistakes. Because if I make a mistake, they make a mistake, which gives the evaluators the wrong information, which leads to no healing, which leads to death! I can’t have that on my conscience. I won’t allow it. I live and breathe this code. It’s my one and only baby now, and I won’t let anything bad happen to it. I promise.

Microstory 2555: Inhouse Lawyer

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Before I came here, I did not have any experience in healthcare law, or in nonprofit law. I applied to this job because I wanted some better work-life balance. My old firm was very demanding. It wasn’t arbitrary. We had a lot of big clients, who required constant aid, advice, and representation. The Foundation has had to overcome obstacles that no other organization ever has, and it’s my job to get them through it. The work they do here is unprecedented, and I know we all hear that a lot, but it’s absolutely true in this case. Pun intended. What Landis and the Director built here is nothing short of profoundly astonishing, and despite how massively popular it is among the general public, it also raised some eyebrows. Who are you? What led you to start something like this? What gives you the right? Why should your customers trust you? What do you mean some people don’t pay? What do you mean you pay some of them? How do we know it’s not a scam? Where’s your experience in healthcare? How do you find your customers? What are your criteria for accepting or rejecting an application? This is just a fraction of a fraction of the questions that I had to help the Foundation answer. It’s been the toughest challenge I’ve ever had, but it wasn’t stressful, because I believe in the cause. I’ve not always been able to say that about my clients, and my colleagues advise me not to feel that way, but come on, how can you not be a fan? I think, when you’re defending multiple clients, you can’t play favorites, but when it’s only the one, I don’t see any reason why I can’t see myself as just another important cog in the machine, rather than an outside associated party. Work has been steadily slowing down over the years. As we’ve become established, and the validity of the healings are hardly in question anymore, there aren’t so many more questions left. Mostly what we’re dealing with now is in regards to the panacea that the researchers are trying to synthesize from Mr. Tipton’s genes, or whatever it is that makes him work. I don’t represent the pharmaceutical company, but I did help broker the deal that led them to being the ones to advance this research, so we’re all obviously still involved. Everything will work out, though. If the panacea works, there is no way it doesn’t go through eventually. Don’t get me wrong, it’s more than just signing the right papers. Approval has been slow, but we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Very soon, you won’t have to leave your house to cure what ails you. I don’t know what will happen with the Foundation, or my job, but I can’t wait to find out.

Microstory 2554: Janitor

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This is the best job I’ve ever had, which may sound crazy when you look at my job title, and you learn that it’s the first time I’ve ever been a janitor. I actually know a little bit about the way it works now, thanks to the Foundation. Let me start at the beginning. I’m not some hot shot career-driven professional. Like I said, I’ve never cleaned before, but I’ve never exactly been the CEO either. I’ve always worked other menial jobs, and in fact had a self-imposed rule that I wouldn’t ever make cleaning my primary responsibility. This was just an offer that I couldn’t pass up. First of all, I don’t work for the Foundation, I’m on contract, and the way the contract is written, my employer is not allowed to pay me any less than $25.00 an hour. If you do the math, that is an insane amount for a janitor. No one else is making that much. I told my cousin about it, who lived thousands of miles away at the time, and he just had to get in on it too, so he moved his family out here. First of all, that’s crazy, right? Who moves for a janitorial position? He didn’t even apply for the job first. He thought that admitting he would have to relocate would hurt his chances, so he packed up right away, and just went for it. Sure, they lived with me for a few months, but then they were able to move out to their own place, so it went all right. Here’s his theory on why the Foundation dictates that we’re supposed to be making that much. They’re trying to fix the world, right? I mean, not just for people with disease. They wanna make the whole planet a better place to live in. What’s the point of being healthy if we’re all miserable for other reasons? That’s why they pay people to get cured. It sounds like another insane proposition, but it works, because it’s a charitable organization, and they see the payments as an opportunity to expand on what they do. It’s not just a random additional feature. By demanding that my employers pay me a lot of money, they’re raising the bar. First of all, they’re saying, “we’ll contract with you, but only if you pay the worker you assign to us a lot of money.” But this is also like saying to the whole world, “look, see? It’s possible to pay people more.” And workers will say, “hey, I deserve more money too.” And then hopefully we all start getting more. I don’t really have the knowledge on how to find market trends, or whatever, but I bet it’s helping. I bet they’ve changed the economy in greater ways. I bet my salary has made a positive difference in other people’s lives; people I will never meet, or even hear of. It’s not the most glamorous job, and I still don’t love it, but it puts food on the table, and better food than we’ve ever had before, so I’m not complainin’.

Microstory 2553: Maintenance Worker

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I didn’t even realize where I would be working when I applied for this job. I didn’t even apply to the Foundation people. I went through a temp agency, which told me that a number of businesses in the area could use my maintenance skills. They sent my résumé out to a bunch of different places, and this was the first one to respond. I have a little trouble talking to people, so I’ve always been grateful for the help. I didn’t even have to interview, which is good, because I’m not so good at them. I think I still work for the agency. They’re the ones who ask me to put in my hours, and my paychecks come from them. Whenever I run into an issue, though, I don’t talk to anybody there. I go to one of the Foundation people. There isn’t usually any issue. They have a computer system where they send my job requests, and I go do them. Unless someone else claimed them first. It just depends on who’s on the shift. I was here pretty early after the company started, and things were a lot harder back then. You see, someone built this hotel, and then they had to sell it to Mr. Tipton and his people. I think they wanted to get started healing people right away, so they kind of rushed making repairs. It wasn’t too bad, but with a building this size, there are bound to be issues. I kept getting requests to fix things back then. We had a larger team back then. We’ve cut back, because now things are okay. They put a lot of money into new parts. I tell you, I’ve never seen anything like it. Usually, whoever has to approve of a purchase will look at the amount to pay for it, and get mad if it seems too high to them. So they’ll go with the cheapest one. Not this place, they seem to always want the higher number, because they assume it means it will be better. A lot of the times, that’s true, but vendors will also try to sell you the more expensive version, when the difference doesn’t matter. I mean, think about this. What if you needed to order a new doorknob, and there were two in the catalog. One of them was made out of brass, and the other out of diamonds. Which one is cheaper? Obviously, the brass one, but the diamond one is dumb. It isn’t better because it costs more, and no one should ever buy that. If I ever go to a building with diamond doorknobs, I’m walking out, because those people can’t be trusted. So I do have to sometimes say, look, this one will get you just fine. This part has to be replaced every five years to keep up with regulations anyway, so you’re not better off with the one that lasts for ten years. They’re just trying to get you to spend more to spend more. I do try to save these people money, because they’re doing good work here. I’m glad I work here, but if it ends, I’ll be okay. I’m sure I’ll find something else. The agency has always been real good to me too.

Microstory 2552: Switchboard Operator

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I don’t technically work for the Foundation. I work for a contract company which specializes in performing auxiliary services for other organizations. We have our hands in all the departments that make any sufficiently sized business run smoothly, regardless of what their particular work product happens to be. Every corporation has reception, every corporation has mail. Facilities, A/V, printing/copying, shipping and receiving. We can come in and do all that extra work for you so you can focus on succeeding and exceeding in your specific industry. That’s my company’s slogan: helping your business succeed and exceed. That’s plastered all over my work area. I have all sorts of requirements about our branding, and labeling things. It’s a switchboard, I know it’s a switchboard, I don’t have to print a label for it, telling myself that it’s a switchboard with the company logo, but that’s what they want. Which can be annoying and intrusive, because that logo keeps changing. Since I started working for them, I’ve had to reprint and rehang everything in my office twice. Some hip new marketing firm shoots through and claims to have the best way to capture hearts and minds in the modern world. Consistency, that’s what really gets you customers, and loyal ones too. If you change your look every five minutes, they’re gonna move on to something they recognize. Because that’s what makes people more comfortable; what they’re already familiar with. Anyway, I’m blabbering on. I’ve worked for them for almost ten years now, but only at the Tipton site for the last three. The guy who did this before me took a job working directly for them as a greeter. He sees it as a stepping stone to bigger and brighter things, which I believe means becoming a settlement specialist, but don’t quote me on that. Those people have education. You can’t just work your way up to it, and at any rate, they’re going to shutter this whole place after the panacea comes out. Some say that Landis will keep going, but he really shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how many people would rather have the real thing, or how often you have to take the pill. It’s a cure! You’ll do whatever it takes to make it work, and you’re not gonna waste this poor man’s time breathing on you because you’re under the impression that it’s better. Listen to me again, talking out my ass, as if I have any clue what’s going on up at the top. I just answer phones, and I transfer callers to the right department. Nine hundred and ninety-nine times out of a thousand, that means the Applications voicemail. Literally no one monitors that line. You can leave a message, because the carrier system they’re contracted to doesn’t let you turn off that feature, but those messages are wiped every night. A robot tells you how to submit an application, which is decidedly not on the phone! You think we have time for that? It’s, like, a million questions! A lot of people also want me to connect them directly to Mr. Tipton. Yeah, as if that’s gonna happen. Good luck, buddy. It’s hard to reject them, because they get so belligerent and entitled, but I have the full support of my bosses, and our clients, to tell them to eff off if they keep giving me ish. I don’t know, I just work here. It’s 2025, go to our website.

Microstory 2551: Cafeteria Cook

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I’ve always been in the culinary arts, and yes, I’m allowed to call it that, even though I don’t own a world-class fine dining establishment. As soon as I turned fourteen, I started working at a diner. I actually applied two weeks prior to that when I was still too young, and my future boss worked the delay into the scheduling. I started at the bottom, just washing dishes, but I worked my way up, and eventually practically ran the place. Unfortunately, the town we lived in was shrinking at the same time. There wasn’t room for two restaurants, so ours got shut down. I probably could have moved over to the other, but it’s not like the shrinking was going to stop there. I could see the writing on the wall. My younger brother, he was going into premed about two and a half hours away from home. (He eventually entered medical school at the same institution). Our mother didn’t like him being that far away on his own, and the timing worked out anyway, so I went out there with him. He didn’t need taken care of, mind you, but we all need a support system. It saved us all money. Whenever he needed help studying, or just to talk out his problems, I was only ten minutes away. I took a job at the university hospital where he would eventually work, and I did that for many years, working my way up the seniority ladder yet again. I don’t have an interesting story about how I landed this position here. I hear people talk about how they knew someone who knew someone, or they had some special family member who was healed. It was about as basic as it gets for me. I applied, they interviewed me, they offered me the job, and I took it. I’m not saying that this is just like any other job, but I’ve been in the medical field—tangentially, at least—for decades at this point. I watched healing heroes every day. I fed them their food so they could have the energy to get back out there and perform miracles. They didn’t have superpowers, but they did the best they could. It’s a rewarding experience, and I’m quite proud of my job, but I’ve always been able to say that. Even at the diner, we weren’t saving lives, but we were the only place in a hundred miles with pancakes that made you see God. That’s pretty magical too.

Microstory 2550: Payroll Specialist

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Boring! I know, my job is boring. I’m not gonna lie. I hear my co-workers talk about how they’re making a difference in the world, and—oh my God, that makes it sound like I don’t think it’s true—it is true, it’s just not really true of me. Math is math, and if the math ain’t mathing, I’m not doing it right. I could work for any other organization, and my daily work would be the exact same thing. Is it more fulfilling to know that I’m paying people who are there to help heal people? No, not really. I guess I just feel pretty removed from it. One thing is that I regularly work from home. They offered me a suite to share with someone, but that’s not really my thing. I don’t need to live where I work. I actually don’t want to. I think it’s better for my work-life balance if it’s somewhere I go, and somewhere I then leave. I know, that sounds contradictory to the fact that I sometimes work from home, but whatever. It just feels different to me. I guess working where you live is not the same as living where you work, you know? There are others who seem to feel the same way. I know one of the financial evaluators who lives a thousand or so miles away, and actually hasn’t stepped foot in this building before. It might go against the “culture” of us all being one, big happy family, but it’s real. I’m sorry, I sound so ungrateful and antisocial. I’m really not. Again, I just don’t really feel a part of it. It pays well, and has great benefits. I mean, no one has really said this, because I think there’s a legal issue, but if I were to get sick, I’m pretty sure that Landis would heal me on the DL. It would be free of charge, with no application process, and no waiting. Like I said, I don’t know that, and I’ve never seen proof. All I know is that my chess buddy on the maintenance team was so sick in the middle of his shift that he had to go back up to his room. Next day, he’s back, totally fine, and won’t talk about it. I think he signed an NDA, because they don’t want the bad publicity of giving special treatment to its employees. He’s not even technically an employee, but a contractor, which may be why they have to keep it quiet, but it also more strongly suggests that I would be in an even better position. Hopefully I won’t need it, but it’s a perk that only a couple hundred people in the world even might have. Okay, I gotta get back to telling this computer program to do all the work for me, because it’s 2025.

Microstory 2549: Event Coordinator

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Working and living at the Landis Tipton Breath of Life Foundation isn’t all fun and games, but it is some fun and games. Hi, I’m the Event Coordinator. My only job is to boost staff morale, and keep them entertained. All I hear from my co-workers is how much they love their jobs, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy, or that they’re not working hard. They deserve some time to let loose, and relax. We hold parties, and we present movies. The auditoriums were designed to orient patients with what we do, and what’s in store for them, but it’s not like we can’t use it as a regular movie theatre, am I right? For the most part, when Landis stops healing, we stop working. They have one more screening of that orientation video, and then the workers have to clean up after the patients. Basically, they have a whole bunch of housekeeping, but then they can do whatever they want. It’s not like office people, where they have to take their work home with them. Sure, we have accountants and managers, but they seem to be able to get their work done during normal business hours. Now, we don’t have something planned every single night, but there’s usually something going on, even if it’s just a dozen friends getting together for card games. I’m not in charge of those things. I mean, if they ask for drinks to be available, I’ll make sure the refreshment cart is where it needs to be, but I’m only responsible for the big things. We hold concerts in the ballroom, and ice cream socials in the cafeteria. The other day, a certain celebrity came by, and sang for us. It was impromptu, because she was really just there to meet Landis himself. She’s an actress, but she sometimes sings for fun, and it was certainly a performance, and I had to coordinate A/V and tech in a matter of minutes. Anyway, the local paper interviewed me once about what I do. They’ve talked to a lot of people at the Foundation over the years, and I guess it was my turn. They asked me whether I would consider putting on events for the public on behalf of the Foundation, and like, no. Not only is that not what I was hired to do, but that sounds like something a company would do if it were selling something. Sure, rich people pay for the honor, but the majority of our patients are getting paid, or getting it for free. We don’t need to market. We don’t need to publicize. We don’t need to get the public on our side, or spin our reputation, or anything like that. If someone wanted to do that, it would have nothing to do with me. The people I work with; they’re all heroes. They deserve to have a little fun every once in a while, and that’s all I care about. I’m not good at much, but I’m good at planning events. So that’s how I help.

Microstory 2548: Head of Security

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Some people confuse me with Mr. Tipton’s personal bodyguard, and when I explain the difference, they usually wanna know which one of us is the other’s boss. The answer is neither. We don’t even work in the same department. He’s in Personal Support, and I’m in Facilities. His only responsibility is the safety of the primary asset, and mine is to the Foundation as a whole, which primarily means our headquarters. There aren’t as many on my team as I would like, but the truth is that we’re not doing it alone. The Guides and Queuers are trained in their own way, and are on the lookout for trouble and vulnerabilities. Not all of us who actually are Security proper are even armed, so the difference is sometimes logistical. I can’t order them around, I guess that’s the thing, but the rest of the staff is always very aware and prepared. I’m not sure there’s anyone who doesn’t know first aid and CPR, at least. Everyone has a profound interest in protecting the organization, and its primary. We didn’t apply to work here because the pay looked good, or it was close to home, or because we couldn’t find anything else. You have to have passion and heart, and the hiring managers know how to filter for that. They’re directed and trained to look for it in interviews. It’s not too hard to find when you pull in the kind of numbers that our Staff Services department does. Everyone wants to work here, so choosing someone who will fight to keep it safe and secure just sort of happens on its own. Look at me, talking mostly about staffing, as if that’s my concern. I’m not worried about them at all. I’m worried about the thousands of people wandering around the building day in, day out. Everyone gets sick. It doesn’t matter if you’re nice, mean, well-intentioned, or demonic; you might need a cure, and the application process does not screen for personality traits. It operates on a first come, first serve basis, so we’re pretty much the last and only defense against genuine threats. We never know where they’re coming from, or who might be perpetrating them. I’m not saying that there have been any major on-the-ground issues, but we have to stay alert at all times. Mostly, we run into patients who believe they’ve been cut in line, or they have a perception that they’ve been waiting for longer than others. If someone has been sick their whole life, waiting a couple hours to be free from it forever might seem trivial, but the closer you get to the miracle, the more anxious you become. That can lead to conflict, and you would be surprised at the demographics. We’ve had to put a stop to a few fist fights, but we only made the decision to call the police once. It was for someone who came in drunk because he was celebrating the upcoming occasion. As far as I know, his name was flagged, and he’ll never get his cure. This was early on, they turned the campground into a dry one after that incident. We do track threats to Mr. Tipton’s life, and there is one in particular that I’m very worried about, but we’ll handle it. We always do.

Microstory 2547: Director of Housekeeping

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A lot of people don’t know that I’ve been working here the longest. It’s been even longer than Landis or the Foundation Director. We still call this a hotel, because that’s what it is, but before Landis bought it and converted it into a place of healing, it was just, indeed, a regular hotel. We didn’t have any official guests yet, because there were funding issues, but housekeeping was already a thing, and I ran it. Before things fell apart, the original owner held a soft open, where guests could stay at a heavily discounted price. They were asked to complete surveys, and help decide the direction the hotel would go. These weren’t just random people snatched off the street. The owner either knew them, or knew someone who knew them. They agreed to help because of their connection, not because they needed a place to stay overnight. It was still real, though. The experience had to match what they were hoping to offer following the grand opening that never was. So there was a staffed kitchen, and bellhops, and a concierge. I was the only housekeeper, but it wasn’t hard to keep up, because the guests were very clean. They were also incredibly respectful. I’ve been doing this for eighteen years, and not everyone is like that. That’s really why I stuck around. The owner, before he found a buyer, kept me, and me alone, on the payroll. The rest moved on to other things. Actually, I take that back, the original janitor now works as a line cook in the cafeteria, but he’s only been back for about a year now, so it’s more of a coincidence than anything. And he still doesn’t beat my record. While he was in limbo, the original owner lived here, and I was just his housekeeper. I treated the job like any other, and did the work that I would have been expected to do under normal circumstances. Now I run a full staff, though the work is easier than it is at other places. All of our guests are permanent, and there is a different expectation in such cases. They mostly pick up after themselves. They can even come down and retrieve more toiletries or towels when they need them. We do handle the laundry for their bedding, but they bring it down, and retrieve a replacement set on their own. My people run the machines. We also provide a little extra care for our mothers and expectant mothers, but really only when it’s hard for them to move around. It’s a pretty cool job, and a lot different than what I used to do. It’s still busy, busy, busy, but we have a good atmosphere, and I’m happy to help keep it clean.

Microstory 2546: Midwife

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I am a Certified Nurse-Midwife, and the only one that this Foundation has ever seen. I have delivered every single child born of Landis, and many of the children of staff members who happened to get pregnant while they were employed, and chose our team instead of another facility. Landis makes an attempt to procreate with one of the legacy consorts once per night, which means that, on average, I deliver one baby a night. But of course, the timing doesn’t work out perfectly. Everybody is different, and every body is different. It has been known to happen that I’ve delivered two babies in one day. My busiest day was on October 7, 2023 when a perfect storm of storks arrived all at once. I’m mixing metaphors here, but I delivered six babies within a period of 24 hours. It was crazy, but an amazing experience. I’m obviously not entirely alone here. There is an obstetrician, and a host of other nurses and doctors. We’re a pretty streamlined outfit, but every mother here is very well-taken care of. Or I should say family. We take care of families here; that’s our mission. I don’t know much about the healing side of things. I’m pretty busy in the Legacy Department. I do know Landis, though. He doesn’t have the time or bandwidth to raise all of the children, and in order for it to be fair, the decision has been made that he doesn’t raise any of them. Researchers fought against this. They actually wanted there to be an imbalance, so they could measure any differences in development. But the psychological well-being of these kids is more important than their research. There are 815 of them right now, and they deserve stability and predictability, as any child would. They are each raised by a single parent, which that parent is fully aware of when she signs up for the program. She’s then reminded time and time again throughout the program that she will be on her own, except for the care that we provide as third party participants. Landis meets every one of his babies once. He holds them for 15 to 30 minutes, and then they move on with their lives. It might sound cold, but it would be impossible for him to be there for them all, and worse for him to give preferential treatment to a handful of them, or some arbitrary number. I can’t speak to his mental state, but outwardly, he has accepted this dynamic. I don’t think it’s easy, but I had nothing to do with the plan for the Legacy program. I just deliver the babies. Some of my colleagues have told me that it’s unethical, and honestly, they may be right; you’re having babies as an experiment. But I do stress to them that the children will be protected for their whole lives, and they don’t undergo tests. They don’t have their blood drawn, or receive shots, or anything that goes beyond the normal, conventional means of physical health. We had to fight the researchers on that too, but the kids aren’t lab rats. They’re people, and if they develop abilities later in life, they will come to that realization on their own, not because some lab tech sequenced their genome. I won’t have it, and I’m backed by the support of everyone at the Foundation, including Landis, as well as the mothers. Like I said, I don’t know if we should be doing this, but since we are, at least I know that we’re doing it the right way.