Microstory 2492: Mythodome

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This is a very complex dome, and it’s due to the interconnectedness of world mythology. As I’m sure you’re aware, Earth is home to many a myth, which people once believed, or at least found value in the stories that described them. Since there have been so many cultures in our history, these myths often contradict each other. Lots of them, for instance, came up with a god of the sun, but they could never all be true. That’s where this dome takes liberties, because they are all “true” insomuch as they coexist here. There are indeed multiple sun gods, and they operate as a sort of council. Don’t ask me what they do, though, because as I’m sure you’re also aware, this is all made up. In real life, God doesn’t exist, elves don’t exist, trolls don’t exist. This is an immersive world where such creatures and beings have been engineered out of the specifications presented in the various source materials. It can be hard to track. Some myths even contradict themselves, as told by different authors, and diverging translations. So, Mythodome does its best, but the interesting result—which I’ve been trying to drive at this whole time—is that it is more than the sum of its parts. It has spawned a new mythology, which includes that sun-god council I mentioned, and various factional alliances that never existed in the original stories, because they weren’t culturally related. Part of the experience is learning the new story that has come out of this, which could have hypothetically been its own franchise in traditional media, if someone had thought to be quite this comprehensive before. There are different kinds of elves, for instance, because there have been different interpretations in the stories, and these elves are aware of each other, and have developed complicated relationships with each other naturally. That’s my understanding anyway, which is that their dynamics have taken on a life of their own to form this fresh society, and I think they were doing it before any Earthans came to visit. That alone is interesting enough, not just that these mythical creatures can be genetically engineered, but that we end up with unpredictable consequences as a result of so many variables. I’m rambling now, but suffice it to say that it would not be difficult to spend years here. You could even spend an entire lifetime, making your own way, and finding your purpose. Because very little about this place was prewritten. It’s all been developing on its own, and who knows where it will take us next?

Microstory 1321: Insanity

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Sane Defendant: So, how does this work? Do you expect me to tear off my clothes, and smear feces on the wall, or is it one of those things where you just sign the papers, and move on?

Court Appointed Psychologist: Do you feel compelled to remove your clothing, or smear feces on the wall?

Sane Defendant: Not really.

Psychologist: Then all we need to do is talk.

Sane Defendant: What are the parameters? What are you looking for in my responses?

Psychologist: Determining whether a defendant can reasonably plea insanity is an extremely complex and nuanced process. I wouldn’t be able to explain how it works even if I wanted to. I can’t tell you anything, because then you could simply tell me what you think I expect to hear. It would taint the results, and I’m starting to get the impression that that’s exactly what you’re trying to do.

Sane Defendant: No, that’s not true. I’m crazy; everybody says so.

Psychologist: Everybody, like who?

Sane Defendant: Are you going to run a background check on me; consult with character witnesses, and corroborate my claims?

Psychologist: If we were to do that, what would be the results? Would they verify what you say about yourself?

Sane Defendant: Let’s move on. I suppose it all started with my parents. My uncle used to put out his cigarettes on my arm. That’s when I started developing a fascination with causing other people harm. I pushed down those urges, but I couldn’t contain them anymore, and I just went berserk.

Psychologist: Hmm. I have the crime scene investigation report right here, and it says the crime must have been planned out meticulously. Evidence was difficult to come by. Besides the blood, the scene was immaculate, as if having been scrubbed down after the murder.

Sane Defendant: [...] Well, yes, of course. I mean, that’s the work of the elven fairies.

Psychologist: Elven fairies?

Sane Defendant: Yeah, you haven’t heard of them. They usually live in..filing cabinets, but they’re attracted to murderers. They follow them around until they kill, and then the elven fairies clean up afterwards.

Psychologist: I saw your eyes dart over to my filing cabinet when you said that, and I’m sorry, is your defense that you are experiencing a delusion where mythical creatures help you carry out crimes, or is your defense that you experienced a drop in impulse control, which caused you to murder that couple?

Sane Defendant: Um. Yes. All of those things. I was impulsive, and the fairy elves helped me, because fairy elves are real. I can prove it. They’re sending secret messages through, uh...postal stamps.

Psychologist: All they elven fairies, or fairy elves?

Sane Defendant: See? I can’t even keep it straight, I’m so crazy.

Psychologist: We don’t like to use that term.

Sane Defendant: See, I’m so mentally unstable that I don’t even know not to use the word crazy.

Psychologist: I think we both know that you were in your right mind when you committed the double murder, that you have no delusions about mythological beings, and that you are only here to receive a more lenient sentence.

Sane Defendant: Well, doesn’t that speak to my mental capacity? Would a healthy individual make such an attempt? Doesn’t it mean that there actually truly is indeed something wrong with me? Sounds like a paradox.

Psychologist: Sounds like I have everything I need to complete my evaluation. Guard? You can come back in now!

Sane Defendant: Wait, no. Isn’t murder alone a good enough reason to diagnose someone with a mental illness? Are any murderers not insane? I would argue murderousness should be in the DSM-6.

Psychologist: Goodbye.

Sane Defendant: No, wait. I am crazy. Loco, cholo. Get your hands off me. I didn’t do it! What if I took back my plea. The fairies told me to! You hear me, the fairies...!

Microstory 597: Last Giant Dies

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The shortest-living intelligent species in the world was the giant, and the ultimate consequence of this fact was realized yesterday when the last giant died following a life of heart disease, along with other health complications. Wizards first drew up the plans for giant humans centuries ago, though never actually created them, likely due to the problems they eventually endured. Unfortunately, the fairies ended up getting their hands on this information, and had no problems acting on it. The average human is about 7.5 sheam in height, with the upper limit sitting right around 10 sheam. Species that are related to humans, like elves and veratope, tend to fall within the same range. Meanwhile, werewolves and dwarves are generally shorter. Giants, on the other hand, average twice the size of the standard human, towering over the ground at 20 sheam. Prehistoric avians, of course, could get much larger than that, but they evolved with certain biological characteristics that prevented them from experiencing the same issues as giants did. The first thing to understand is that scaling up a creature does not require a linear formula. Though giants were twice the size of us, they were eight times our mass, which meant that they weighed upwards of two shemratra, which is equal to 2,080 sheamtra. This made them the heaviest beings living on land at the time. Cetaceans only survive as heavy as they are by benefiting from weightlessness perception in the ocean. This is what causes beached whales to die; their organs can’t withstand the weight of each other. Land animals do not possess this advantage, which means that giants were literally unable to move.

Giants were discovered in the Bogs of Linctavia decades ago, having apparently been left there by the fairies, which are notorious for abandoning their experiments and creations. The water and mud of the bog allowed some movement, but not an adequate amount. The giants had somehow managed to develop some kind of symbiotic relationship with the marble fintys in the area. Marble fintys are known for their evolutionary quirk wherein they never learned what their bodies were capable of consuming, which means they eat just about everything, and regurgitate anything that their digestive system can’t handle. These strange birds figured out that they could do this near the giants, and that not only would the giants not harm them, but other predators would avoid the area for fear of them. Sadly, not even this was enough to keep giants alive as their numbers experienced diminishing returns over a few short generations. The last giant was named Kirabo Endison, and his last words were, “take care of my [pet marble finty] Faven.” He was seven years old, and is survived by all of us.

Microstory 531: Special Devices Allow Elves to Swim

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While some scientists are working to cure cancer, or send man beyond the solar system, others are working on more practical needs. One thing that makes humans so special when it come to the animal kingdom is that we’re not physically great at anything in particular, but we can display a middling performance in just about everything. Humans are not the fastest, largest, strongest, most agile, or swimmiest. We can’t jump all that high, we don’t always land on our feet, and we definitely can’t fly. Some individuals are more adept at certain skills than others, but in general, we’re all about the same. But what does that mean for human subspecies, like vampirs, dwarves, or the subject of our story today, elves? These other types of humans have their own advantages, but they also have some disadvantages. The most obvious of these is that vampirs have a less efficient oxygen-carrying system in their blood, but one that may be looked over is an elf’s inability to swim. Elves have denser bones, and a disproportionate weight distribution, favoring their upper body. They can’t swim, because just like standard humans, they still need to be able to come up for air, which is something their bodies won’t let them do. There are exceptions, of course. The Ferene Prince, for instance, is known for having succeeded in a sacred and dangerous rite of passage underwater that not even non-elves on their home islands were able to master. Unfortunately, most elves were not able to experience the joy of swimming through the water...until now. An eclectic group of scientists gathered at an old submarine base in Alabama’s Jouri Bay, and remained there for weeks, perfecting a technology the industry had never thought was necessary. Details on the design have not yet been released as patent proceedings are still underway, but these scientists have confirmed that their technology works. Special devices allow a wearer to both move through the water, and surface for breath, when needed. As previously stated, intellectual rights first have to get situated. After that, the device needs to go through rigorous safety standards with the Usonian government, and also with the Confederacy, if they wish to enter the global market. A spokesperson for the group has stated that they expect to put these devices on shelves within the next year.

Microstory 525: Savons Are Barely Not Human

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Ever since savons, elves, dwarves, and hiniaur were reintroduced to the world, scientists have been eager to learn more about them. We don’t know exactly where they came from, or how they came to be. All we know is how different they are than us. Elves are generally leaner, taller, and top-heavy when compared to humans. The bones in their upper body are denser than ours, which is why they are unable to swim. They can’t get their heads above water in order to breathe. What they lack in the water, they make up on land. They’re faster, stronger, tougher, and possess a greater amount of endurance. On the superficial side, they also have an almost silvery, powdery, tint of purple eyes and hair. Like elves, dwarves are known for their stamina. They require very little sleep, and are particularly adept at manual labor. They are, however, short and stout, and are technically capable of swimming. They’re nothing when compared to hiniaur, though, which are at their best in the water. Every hiniaur is born with gills, but not always in the same place of the body. They’re capable of walking around on land, but require considerable amounts of salt in order to survive. They will carry little pouches of salt around their necks in case they ever find themselves too far from saltwater. It is often unsettling when first meeting a hiniaur. They grow up normal to an adolescent stage, but then they stop aging. They’ll live nearly another 120 years, but will show no outward signs of it. Biologists believe they were created long ago in an attempt to cure aging; one that failed...but not completely.

Perhaps simultaneously the most interesting, and the least interesting, of the new races are the savons. They are noted for their tendency to speak in riddles and noncontextual metaphors. More research needs to be done, but they claim to have some kind of insight into the future; one that may or may not rival that of prophets. As far as their biology goes, they can possibly be considered the opposite of hiniaur. Their bodies age extremely rapidly for several years, before hitting a plateau, and appearing elderly for the rest of their lives, which will likely be somewhat longer than humans. Despite their advanced age, they are indistinguishable from humans, and some have even been hesitant to believe that they exist. Geneticists have found this to be not too far from the truth. Testing has shown that savon genes so similar to normal humans that results are often negligible. They appear to have such minor differences that it is almost not worth treating them as a separate human subspecies. A full report will be released to the public next month.

Microstory 35: Cellar Door

In the entire universe, there are only two species. There are many different kinds of humans, some of them “originating” from their own planets. If you ever encounter someone you believe to be an alien, they’re probably just a descendant of a genetically altered human. These come in the form of subspecies (vampires, elves, etc.), tangent species (e.g. dragons), and superspecies (e.g. Martians). The only true alien in the universe is called the Slrdr, and they are a complete evolutionary mistake. God is human, and made us in her image. So how the Slrdr evolved is something we don’t quite understand. But the most interesting part about them is that there are eight genders.

The male and female copulate through a combination of both liquid and pheromone secretion, stimulation, and song. The male deposits his sperm into one opening of the carrier while the female deposits a brood of several hundred ova into the other opening. Most of the several hundred ova will form zygotes, but usually only eight will survive after absorbing other zygotes. The carrier consumes blood orally from the sustainer. The eggs develop over the course of a half year during which the male, female, and carrier will sing. The carrier lays a clutch of eight eggs into a mudflat nest. If there are more or less than eight eggs, a defect or mutation may have occurred. It is not necessarily a problem; any number of things could have happened. The fertilizer sprays a growth hormone onto the clutch. The determiner injects enzymes into each egg that will mix the genes, leading to each individual scion’s gender and general genetic configuration. Each litter will contain one of each gender. All six genetic parents will be accounted for in the genes of the young. The fertilizer and determiner share the responsibility of protecting and watering the nest while singing.

The eggs will hatch after a half year. The young, considered to be one year old, will crawl into the pouch of the marsupial, which gives antibodies and other immunity boosters through its nipples for one year while singing. Marsupials are the largest of the genders, capable of sustaining the lives of two litters (if need be), but only if they consume blood from the sustainer as well. After the scions are fully developed, they will consistently receive milk containing protein, calcium, and other nutrients from the nipples of the giver who will teach them how to sing. Scions begin eating regular adult food after one more year (when they’re three years old). Scions are raised by all of their parents, along with their respective spouses, for five more years during which they will sing together. At eight years of age, children begin more independent lives. The parents will move on to conceive more children. At sixteen years of age, the scions restart the cycle.