Microstory 2466: Grand Central Sewage

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According to lore, this was originally called Primary Sewage Treatment Dome. They changed it, because they wanted it to sound a little more fun. Because in reality, it’s not fun at all. It’s the grossest aspect of this planet, in my humble opinion. Let’s start with the water. Every sufficiently completed dome handles its own water treatment for the most part. Using state-of-the-art plants, the sewage is collected, filtered, and recycled as needed. This clean water is then pumped back into their own pipe network, and if there’s any excess, it can be returned to the planet’s water table. There isn’t much of a water table, but it does exist, and it’s growing every day. What’s left over after all of the water has been reclaimed is called sludge, and while it’s absolutely disgusting, it is absolutely not useless. There are all sorts of goodies in your waste. It can be used for biogas, fertilizer, and even feedstock for additive printers. That’s right, the device you’re using to read this review may be made out of poop! It’s a...different circle of life. Certain useful ingredients can also be extracted from the sludge, like phosphorus, nitrogen, and cellulose. These chemicals are all processed here, and redistributed as necessary. But first, it has to get here. As I said, each individual dome reclaims its own recycled water, but since there’s only one Grand Central Sewage, it all has to be pelletized, sealed up, and transported somehow. Enter the vactrain network. That’s right, the same tubes you use to travel from your residential dome to, say, Archidome, are also used to transport waste. Don’t worry, though. They use entirely different trains, and entirely different train stations. It’s probably right under your feet, though. If you were to step through a maintenance door, and walk down the steps, you could end up in a second station where waste is moved into the tubes. Scrap is shipped from here as well. Every time you throw away some packaging, or a part breaks off from some equipment, it goes to one of these hidden stations too, so it can head off to a separate dome, colloquially known as The Scrapyard. I reviewed that dome as well, because I actually like the utility domes. I find the secret, underground means by which we live to be more interesting than what we do on the surface. It’s not pretty, and it’s not glamorous, but it is monumentally important. Yes, it might be a little weird to know that the chair your sitting on could have been in someone’s body at some point, but trust me, this is better. We used to just dump our waste in a hole, and leave it there forever. Talk about disgusting.

Microstory 1395: Display

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Magazine Interviewer: This is the interview with famed terrorist-fighter, Fiore Stern. Mr. Stern, is that how you would describe yourself?

Fiore Stern: Well, I just do what I can to help the world, in any way I can. I wouldn’t call myself a hero. I think anyone would do what I did, if they were in my position.

Magazine Interviewer: And how exactly did you find yourself in that position? Most good people don’t get themselves recruited by a terrorist organization. How were they so wrong about you?

Fiore Stern: Well, they just had a bad algorithm, I guess. I did go to prison—I won’t lie about that. What they didn’t realize is I didn’t spend my entire time locked up just sitting on my cot, being pissed off at the world. I was thinking about my mistakes, and learning in the library, and trying to become a better person. So while my record might have made me look like a perfect candidate for an illegal bomb-making company, my heart didn’t really want that. They were wrong, because they just looked at me on the surface. That’s kind of why I was having trouble finding work in the first place.

Magazine Interviewer: So, when they offered you the job at a fertilizer company, did you think you would end up here?

Fiore Stern: Absolutely. I mean, I didn’t know you would be interviewing me, or that I would start having fans, of all things. I did know that I wanted to take them down. From the moment I was in that interview, to the day before the government finally raided all of their facilities at once, I knew it was my responsibility to rid the world of this scum. Did you see all those bomb containers? It was awful.

Magazine Interviewer: Wait, you knew in the interview? You knew that early, before you even started?

Fiore Stern: Of course, they tried to entice me with the fact that I would be part of something dark and twisted.

Magazine Interviewer: Yet you took the job.

Fiore Stern: I sure did. I know what you’re getting at here. You see, I could have gone to the cops right then and there. I could have told that interviewer that I wanted no part of his business, and that I was going to get them in trouble. But what would that have gotten us? He might have killed me on the spot at worst, and no one would have suspected them, or the company could have destroyed evidence, and done whatever else they needed to do to make themselves not look guilty. I had to infiltrate them in order to get anything done. The authorities needed evidence, and that took time. And in that time, I knew I was working for a bad group of people. But I kept going, because it was important. Because it was the right thing to do.

Magazine Interviewer: Well, if the internet response is any indication, the world is grateful for your efforts. Now, tell me. Were you at all culpable for your participation in the company? Did the federal agents think you were involved in anything yourself? If you didn’t approach them until later, it seems you might have unwillingly been part of some criminal activity.

Fiore Stern: Well, indirectly, yes. I knew what they were, and I was technically helping them make money. I was part of the front business, however. We helped customers fertilize their gardens, just like any legitimate company would. They wouldn’t let me anywhere near the bomb stuff. I had to sneak in and steal evidence, but I was a lot closer than any real cop would have been.

Magazine Interviewer: Interesting. That’s such an amazing story. Now. Tell me about your co-workers. A lot of people died during the raid, but two of your colleagues were found dead in their homes later on. What do you suppose happened?

Fiore Stern: I think they just happened to not be at work that day—for whatever reasons—but they realized they had been caught, so they took their own lives. They probably didn’t want to go to jail. I don’t blame ‘em. It helped me improve myself, but not everyone is so lucky. Some people just get worse while behind bars.

Magazine Interviewer: Yes, that’s true. Why don’t you tell us what’s next for Fiore Stern? What does a terrorist-catcher do after he’s caught his terrorists? Any plans to go into law enforcement?

Fiore Stern: No, I don’t think so. I think I’m just gonna go look for a real company now. I still love flowers, and other plantlife.

Magazine Interviewer: Oh, that’s nice.

Microstory 1393: Terror

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Fertilizer Developer: Terror Guard 1, Terror Guard 2, Terror Guard 3. This is Fiore Stern. He’s very excited to start working with us, aren’t you, Fiore?

Fiore Stern: Uh. I am.

Fertilizer Developer: Great. Well, he needs to go through clearance, so go ahead and take care of that for me. I’ll be back for ya in two days.

Fiore Stern: Two days? Just how long is this thing?

Terror Guard 1: The interview will only take a few minutes.

Terror Guard 2: But we’ll need to test your loyalty.

Terror Guard 3: That will be the hardest thirty-six hours of your life.

Fiore Stern: Now you’re scaring me.

Terror Guard 1: You should be scared.

Terror Guard 2: This job is not for the faint of heart.

Terror Guard 3: Are you ready?

Fiore Stern: I am. Ask your questions. I’m up for anything, even if it hurts.

Terror Guard 1: We don’t have access to your résumé, so if you’ve already answered these before...we don’t apologize. If you can’t handle a little bit of repetition, you won’t survive here.

Terror Guard 2: Have you ever been convicted of a felony?

Fiore Stern: Yes. I went to prison for two years.

Terror Guard 3: For what?

Fiore Stern: Animal cruelty.

Terror Guard 2: Are you guilty?

Fiore Stern: Indeed.

Terror Guard 1: Do you regret what you did?

Fiore Stern: I was just doing an experiment. I wanted to see how long it would take for the stray cat to die if I kept from feeding it.

Terror Guard 2: So you’re a curious fellow. That’s both a good, and a bad, thing here.

Terror Guard 3: We want you to want to understand the world.

Terror Guard 2: And we want you to want to make it better.

Terror Guard 1: But there are things about our organization that you will not be allowed to know.

Terror Guard 3: Some doors will always be closed to you.

Fiore Stern: I understand.

Terror Guard 3: You will be expected to question authority.

Terror Guard 1: Unless that authority is us.

Fiore Stern: Naturally. I want to do what I can to help.

Terror Guard 2: Good. Have you ever made or used a bomb before?

Fiore Stern: Does a cherry bomb count? Or should I say bombs. I once blew up my neighbor’s garden with thirty cherry bombs.

Terror Guard 1: Really? Terror Guard 3?

Terror Guard 3: That’s worth about an eighth of a stick of dynamite.

Terror Guard 2: Were you not arrested for this as well?

Fiore Stern: This was back when I was a little kid. And no one ever found out what I did. She killed my dog with poison, so I wanted to make sure she couldn’t do that again.

Terror Guard 2: Did you love that dog?

Fiore Stern: No, but I don’t like when people work against me, whether the act itself bothers me or not.

Terror Guard 1: Justice. That’s exactly what we’re all about.

Fiore Stern: I can appreciate that. I don’t know much about explosives, except that fertilizer can be used for it. So I assume that’s what you do. I’m eager to learn, but I kind of have a thing for poisonous plants, so if there’s anything I can do on that front, I sure wouldn’t mind.

Terror Guard 1: You won’t be much involved in the engineering department; not until you prove yourself, at least. You’ll definitely be working with plants, but only so the authorities don’t figure out what we’re really up to.

Fiore Stern: It would be an honor to protect you.

Terror Guard 1: Good. I think he’s ready. Don’t you?

Terror Guard 2: I do.

Terror Guard 3: As do I.

Fiore Stern: Absolutely.

Terror Guard 3: Then put this over your head. Welcome to hell, kid.

Microstory 1392: Fertilizer

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Fertilizer Developer: Mr. Fiore, thanks for coming in.

Fiore Stern: No, thank you. I’ve been having a hell of a time getting interviews. I had honestly forgotten about this posting. It’s been a couple months.

Fertilizer Developer: I bet you have, and yes it has. We like to be...particular.

Fiore Stern: Oh, okay. That makes sense, and I guess that’s a good sign.

Fertilizer Developer: It is. Now. It says here you graduated with honors from Hillside University?

Fiore Stern: That’s right. Go Wild Turkeys!

Fertilizer Developer: Right. Well, we do things a little differently here. The first time we run a background check on someone we’re interested in comes before the interview, using a system called Generiport. It quickly verifies certain key information. I’m talkin’ minutes. We know where you went to high school and college, if you’re a citizen, whether you have a criminal history, and a few other bits of info. It doesn’t get too deep, but it gets us just enough information to see if we want to pursue you.

Fiore Stern: Oh. I understand, I’ll go.

Fertilizer Developer: No, don’t do that.

Fiore Stern: Well, you’re obviously about to tell me you know I have a criminal record, and that I didn’t go to college at all.

Fertilizer Developer: That was indeed what I was going to say, but I wasn’t going to tell you it would be a problem. You see, here at Hemming Fertilizer, we look for candidates just like you. We’re about more than just fertilizing gardens. We help the country by keeping its citizens in line. Some don’t like it, but it is our sacred duty, and people like you are vital to that mission.

Fiore Stern: Really? Are you trying to tell me that you regularly hire criminals, and not as part of a public service program, but to use the skills they possess as criminals?

Fertilizer Developer: [...] That’s exactly what I’m telling you.

Fiore Stern: I don’t know what to say.

Fertilizer Developer: I told you about the quick report we ran, but what I didn’t tell you is that your résumé triggered a more comprehensive report, which involves one of our people going through your entire history with a fine-toothed comb. We know about the things you’ve done, and the things done to you. We know the reason you didn’t go to Hillside U is because they wouldn’t take someone who had—give me a second—and I quote, a peculiar and unsettling preoccupation with poisonous plants, and the body decomposition process. Apparently you were caught trying to use the school library?

Fiore Stern: The library never said it was for students only. They just didn’t like what I wanted to research.

Fertilizer Developer: I don’t doubt it.

Fiore Stern: So that quote. The security guard wrote that, and kept my name on file, even though I wasn’t a student, and wasn’t arrested?

Fertilizer Developer: He did, but don’t worry. We took care of it.

Fiore Stern: What do you mean?

Fertilizer Developer: I mean, if someone were to look you up in campus security records, they wouldn’t find anything about you. We couldn’t clear your criminal record—or the time you spent in prison because of what you did—but we got rid of all the evidence that put you there.

Fiore Stern: It sounds like you got me in your debt.

Fertilizer Developer: We don’t like to look at it that way. We see this as an opportunity for you to contribute to society in a way you never knew was possible. Let’s go talk to the clearance department.

Microstory 1390: Growth

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Fiore Stern: Hello? Mr. Botany Professor?

Botany Professor: Yes, that’s me. Office hours begin in a half hour, but I think I can make an exception. Are you struggling with the cambium assignment? I can give you an extra day, if you need it.

Fiore Stern: No, sir. I’m actually not a student yet. I was hoping to interview you, so you can help me get accepted into the program.

Botany Professor: Well, Botany is part of a liberal arts and sciences degree. All you have to do is get into the school, and you can choose Botany as your major—if you’re really sure this is what you want to study, that is.

Fiore Stern: You don’t think you could give me an edge? Maybe write me a letter of recommendation?

Botany Professor: Not really. This is Hillside University. They let pretty much anyone in who’s graduated from high school. The failout rate is lower with that method than you might think, because our professors are really invested in student success. Once you’re accepted, and start classes, you can join the program, and I can become your advisor. But I doubt you’ll need help being accepted.

Fiore Stern: Well, the truth is, I’m a...I’m a felon. I got out of prison a few months ago, and I’m trying to get my life on track.

Botany Professor: I see.

Fiore Stern: I don’t even know if the college will accept me with all that.

Botany Professor: I believe this institution does have a way of doing that. You have to acknowledge it on your application, but then they’ll have you meet with some special advisor. That has nothing to do with me, though, so I’m not completely clear how it works.

Fiore Stern: Can I still ask you a few questions?

Botany Professor: Yeah, that should be fine. Students probably will start coming in fifteen minutes from now, though.

Fiore Stern: Okay. So. How would you define botany?

Botany Professor: Botany is the study of plants, and pretty much everything that goes with that. It’s about how they convert energy, and grow, and support the environment.

Fiore Stern: What is the difference between a plant, and a flower?

Botany Professor: Well, a flower is just one part of a plant. Not all plants have flowers, because they have different ways of reproducing and spreading, other than sexually.

Fiore Stern: I have heard that. Plants have sex?

Botany Professor: Flowering plants reproduce sexually, yes. The male will transfer its gametes to the female. We call that pollination. It’s not quite the same as the way animals do it, though.

Fiore Stern: Interesting. Do you teach plant toxicity? Will you teach your students to tell the difference between a poisonous plant, and one that’s safe to eat?

Botany Professor: That sort of specificity isn’t what we do in the undergraduate department. Poisonous plants do not all share a single trait you would be able to use to determine if it fits into the category. You just kind of have to know what’s good, and what to stay away from. As far as edibility goes, there’s something called the universal edibility test. It involves a long process of slowly interacting with the fruits, roots, or leaves, to find out whether it’s safe to eat. It takes a really long time, and we don’t teach that here, because we don’t expect our students to find themselves in a survival situation where such knowledge means life or death. It’s a liability issue too. I’m not even allowed to tell you how to learn about the test.

Fiore Stern: Well, let’s say someone does die, because they ate the wrong thing. If a decomposing body helps fertilize the soil, in the circle of life, will plants and flowers grow out of the dead body?

Botany Professor: Um. Well, no. A dead body is not an ideal environment for growth. Sure, a lot of nitrogen will be released into the soil, which may support any life growing around it, but the body itself doesn’t just isn’t fit for that. Why?

Fiore Stern: No reason. Thanks for talking to me. It’s been really helpful.

Botany Professor: Yeah...okay.

Microstory 174: Anton Vann

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Anton Coriolis Vann (real name) was a good little Amadesin, and all for the violent nature of his religion that his family and friends instilled in him as a child. But unlike his twin brother, he was sympathetic to his sister, Wilma’s distaste for the “family business”. He kept the secret of her vigilantism from the rest of the community for years. He was also smarter than his brother, Otto. He modified the traditional soul-squeezing techniques so that they were less physically painful, and slower. He chose to torture his victims much more deliberately than his fellow Amadesins, and primarily psychologically. As a result, the number of converts he managed to create was much higher than the average. Fortunately for the rest of the world, Amadesins were stubborn and foolhardy, and refused to adopt his new techniques. If they had, their numbers would have increased beyond control. Anton was actually pretty fascinated by his own ability, and tried to practice it on his own time. He could manipulate the nitrogen and oxygen in the surrounding air to create small explosions. Had he been stronger, he may have been able to cause more massive explosions, but Bellevue researchers believed his damaged soul prevented him to excelling. Upon channeling his ability, Helen Larkin discovered that his ability had several other applications that Anton never knew about. He could have progressed the field of food preservation, agricultural fertilization, and steel manufacturing. He even could have generated nitrous oxide laughing gas, and manipulated his victims more precisely. The world never really got to see the good side of Anton Vann. His upbringing prevented him from making the right decisions, and having a desire to help others. His death at a young age also prevented scientists from being able to study his biology and replicate his ability in creative ways.

Microstory 35: Cellar Door

In the entire universe, there are only two species. There are many different kinds of humans, some of them “originating” from their own planets. If you ever encounter someone you believe to be an alien, they’re probably just a descendant of a genetically altered human. These come in the form of subspecies (vampires, elves, etc.), tangent species (e.g. dragons), and superspecies (e.g. Martians). The only true alien in the universe is called the Slrdr, and they are a complete evolutionary mistake. God is human, and made us in her image. So how the Slrdr evolved is something we don’t quite understand. But the most interesting part about them is that there are eight genders.

The male and female copulate through a combination of both liquid and pheromone secretion, stimulation, and song. The male deposits his sperm into one opening of the carrier while the female deposits a brood of several hundred ova into the other opening. Most of the several hundred ova will form zygotes, but usually only eight will survive after absorbing other zygotes. The carrier consumes blood orally from the sustainer. The eggs develop over the course of a half year during which the male, female, and carrier will sing. The carrier lays a clutch of eight eggs into a mudflat nest. If there are more or less than eight eggs, a defect or mutation may have occurred. It is not necessarily a problem; any number of things could have happened. The fertilizer sprays a growth hormone onto the clutch. The determiner injects enzymes into each egg that will mix the genes, leading to each individual scion’s gender and general genetic configuration. Each litter will contain one of each gender. All six genetic parents will be accounted for in the genes of the young. The fertilizer and determiner share the responsibility of protecting and watering the nest while singing.

The eggs will hatch after a half year. The young, considered to be one year old, will crawl into the pouch of the marsupial, which gives antibodies and other immunity boosters through its nipples for one year while singing. Marsupials are the largest of the genders, capable of sustaining the lives of two litters (if need be), but only if they consume blood from the sustainer as well. After the scions are fully developed, they will consistently receive milk containing protein, calcium, and other nutrients from the nipples of the giver who will teach them how to sing. Scions begin eating regular adult food after one more year (when they’re three years old). Scions are raised by all of their parents, along with their respective spouses, for five more years during which they will sing together. At eight years of age, children begin more independent lives. The parents will move on to conceive more children. At sixteen years of age, the scions restart the cycle.