Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Microstory 1322: Maintenance

Maintenance Supervisor: All right, what do we have here? Looks like you’ve had a few jobs over the years, but nothing in maintenance.
Unskilled Laborer: Right. I haven’t been paid for this sort of thing before, but if you look down there at the extra activities, I listed volunteer work with my church. We remodeled homes for the poor, and fixed a few things in schools in low-income neighborhoods. I’ve also helped my dad around the house my whole life, so I know my way around a drill.
Maintenance Supervisor: Okay, okay. What about education? Did you go to college at all?
Unskilled Laborer: I didn’t even bother applying. It’s not for me.
Maintenance Supervisor: Yeah, I get it. So, where do you see yourself in five years?
Unskilled Laborer: I don’t really know. I wouldn’t say I’m an ambitious person. I’m not after your job, or anything. I just wanna put in my time, then go home and sit in front of the TV for the rest of the night.
Maintenance Supervisor: A lot of us are like that; that’s fine. Why don’t you tell me about a time when you...um.
Unskilled Laborer: Sorry?
Maintenance Supervisor: Tell me about a time when you had a disagreement with a coworker, and had to—Jesus, this is stupid. Why would I ask you this? I printed this list of questions to ask a candidate off the internet, but the way I’ve been hiring people has been good enough. I mean, sure, we’ve had some duds, but they were smooth-talkers too. They could have easily lied on their résumé, and then given me bogus answers. I don’t need to know...what kind of animal you would be, or...who you would want to be stranded with on a deserted island.
Unskilled Laborer: I’ve gotten those questions before.
Maintenance Supervisor: How have you answered them? Not a serious question; I’m just curious.
Unskilled Laborer: I just B.S. my way through it.
Maintenance Supervisor: That’s what I would do. When I was a kid, employers only wanted to know a few things. Can you get here on time?
Unskilled Laborer: Yes.
Maintenance Supervisor: Can you be here every day that you’re scheduled.
Unskilled Laborer: Yes.
Maintenance Supervisor: Do you do drugs?
Unskilled Laborer: I smoke a little weed.
Maintenance Supervisor: Ah, whatever. Are you gonna steal from us?
Unskilled Laborer: No, sir.
Maintenance Supervisor: Can you lift fifty pounds by yourself, and are you cool to stand for extended periods of time?
Unskilled Laborer: I can do both of those things.
Maintenance Supervisor: Welcome aboard.

No comments :

Post a Comment