Microstory 1747: Little Lion

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I’m a nomadic lion, which means that I don’t belong to a pride. This is not by choice, as it is for most of my kind. I was the runt of the family, so my mother rejected and abandoned me. I should have died in the wild, having never learned how to survive, but I figured it out. I figured out what to eat, and what not to. I taught myself how to hunt, and where to find water. If only my mom could see me now. I’m full-grown, but not much larger than I was before, relatively speaking. You might think that makes it harder on me, but I have found it to be an advantage. Prey animals think of me as a baby, and while they are worried about mama being around here somewhere, they always underestimate me. Yes, it’s harder for me to run and pounce, but I don’t have to when my meal doesn’t consider me too much of a threat, and lets me get close before becoming worried about it. Yes, I’m doing okay, all things considered. I wouldn’t say this is a great life, and I doubt I’ll ever find a suitable mate, but at least I’m alive, and I understand how to keep myself that way. I will say that I’m fairly sick of it, wandering around without the protection or companionship of others. I’ve made a few attempts to join other prides, but they always run me off. They would kill me if, again, they thought I was any real threat. They don’t think I deserve to share in the food we would catch together. They don’t think I can contribute, and that’s not fair. They have no idea what I have to offer. I’ve decided to give up, and focus on being the best version of my lonesome self. If no one else can appreciate me, then I guess I have to work extra hard to make sure I appreciate myself, and maintain my self-esteem. It’s their loss.

One day, I’m walking over the grasslands, trying to pick up the scent of a sounder of warthogs. They’re pretty mean and rowdy, but they’re smaller than giraffes, so they’re kind of all I can handle on my own. My nose picks up something. I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s not a warthog. I keep going, and pretty quickly realize it to be the blood of my own kind. Another lion is hurt nearby, and I feel compelled to go investigate. I really shouldn’t. It’s none of my business, I don’t know how I could help them, and it’s not like they would try if our roles were reversed. I can’t help it, though. I have to find out what happened. Perhaps some super predator has shown up, and I’m in danger here. That is a good enough reason for me to follow the trail, right? As I draw nearer, I imagine the horrific crime scene I’m about to encounter. Blood and guts everywhere, I don’t know which parts connect to which other parts. Vultures feasting on the remains. But that’s not what it is. It’s a female, probably around my age. She’s injured enough to not be able to move on her own, but she’s not drenched in her own blood. I instinctively begin to lick her wounds. When the vultures actually do come, I scare them off with my pathetic excuse for a roar. It wouldn’t be good enough to impress another lion, but the birds are sufficiently disturbed. I continue to watch over the lioness as her cuts heal on their own. She won’t tell me what happened to her, but I get the impression that she too had some kind of falling out with her pride. Once she’s well enough, we walk together to a safer location, where I can leave her to hunt. I drag carcasses back to our den to keep her fed. It’s a lot of work for a little guy like me, but I make it work. One day, she runs off without even a thank you, and I figure that I’ll never see her again. But then she comes back with a carcass of her own as what she calls the thank you. Then we start our family.

Microstory 1474: New Mayor in Town

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The mayor of Aljabara was not the president of the whole planet, but they did enjoy some de facto influence that went beyond the city. When their former mayor was taken to Earth by the salmon battalion, the city knew what to do. They had a long history of special elections, so this would just be one more. Hopefully this sort of thing would end after this one, though. They now had a Constitution, and an easy-to-follow set of protocols for abiding by the law, and making it fair and safe for everyone. A lot of people started up campaigns, but most of them did not procure the necessary minimum signatures to even officially declare their candidacy. Still, there were fourteen people who felt up for the job. Only one of them was a woman. Other women were part of the new government, but none so high up, because they hadn’t before been given the education or experience to make policy. Voters weren’t trying to continue the misogyny; there just weren’t many women who felt comfortable running. Merrill Panders was different. Her father gave her mother a little more leeway when it came to them being alone together. He wouldn’t have approved of his wife educating her child against social conventions, but they were sneaky about it. She taught Merrill everything her mother had taught her. She had learned it from her own mother. They came from a long line of educated girls, who passed their skills on to the next generation; both the knowledge itself, and the expertise to get away with it without the men in their lives knowing. Merril ran to be a member of the president’s cabinet during the last election, but she lost. Now, though, she was famous and popular, and people were ready to hear what she had to say about the future of Aljabara, and Durus as a whole. She quickly became frontrunner. Merrill campaigned well, and kicked butt at every debate. As the list of hopefuls were whittled down one by one, she remained strong, and moved up in the polls. She had some strong competition, however. Her primary opponent’s platform was very similar to hers, and a lot of voters couldn’t decide between the two of them, because it didn’t seem like there would be much of a difference. In the end, however, Merrill nabbed too many of the votes. While women were fully free to vote in the first election for the Democratic Republic, many of them still chose not to. They weren’t used to it, and to be honest, they were a little scared. They were less underconfident and bashful about it by the time 2170 rolled around. Merrill was a good leader, and helped develop Aljabara into a thriving city during her many years as mayor. She was particularly focused on female education, which was no surprise, but wasn’t the only thing that she cared about. She also pioneered technological innovations, hoping to one day match progress with Earth in more ways than just social. She would go down in history as one of the best governmental officials Durus ever saw, and many assumed she would eventually run for president, or some other higher station. She never did, though. She just kept running for mayor, and kept getting reëlected, and Aljabara was better for it.

Microstory 1335: Debut

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Entertainment Interviewer: Is this your first interview?

Film Student: My first real interview, yes. I’ve been in the school newspaper a time or two.

Entertainment Interviewer: Well, I bet you’re pretty excited, aren’t you?

Film Student: Yes, I feel very fortunate to have been given this opportunity. I haven’t even started working yet, and Sterling Serials has already been so good to me. They assure me they’re not just going to throw me in the deep end, and expect me to fend for myself.

Entertainment Interviewer: I mean this interview. I bet you’re excited for the interview.

Film Student: Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah.

Entertainment Interviewer: Then I guess we ought to get started. First, tell me a little bit about yourself.

Film Student: Well, my name is Film Student. I’ve been a film student at Hillside University for three years now. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a director, so I picked my major right away. I did a little bit of stage acting in middle and high school, and some of my film and video classes required us to make short films, of course. I much prefer to be behind the camera, though. Other than that, I do some photography—mostly close-ups—which I consider to be more like motion pictures than most people do.

Entertainment Interviewer: Oh, that’s cool Very interesting. So, what was your first thought when you got the call that you won the contest?

Film Student: I know you expect me to say I was giddy, and I jumped up and down, or did a dance, but my aunt always taught me to act like I’ve been there, so I played it pretty cool. I wanted to sound professional right from the start.

Entertainment Interviewer: It says here they want you to direct the fourth episode of the third season of The Light of Day. When does filming begin?

Film Student: First of the month, next month. I’ve already seen a draft of the script, and I obviously can’t give anything away, but I can tell you that it’s really good. I’m honored to be working off the incredible talent from the writers room.

Entertainment Interviewer: What about the cast?

Film Student: I haven’t met any of the cast yet, but the internet tells me they’re all really nice, and down to Earth.

Entertainment Interviewer: What do you have to say to all the little girls out there who are being told they can’t make movies? What did you wish you had said when someone said that to you?

Film Student: Um, well...that never happened to me. No one’s ever told me that.

Entertainment Interviewer: I thought you said you always wanted to make movies. No one ever tried to tear you down when you were young?

Film Student: Umm...no? My family has always been very supportive. I was born into middle class, and my parents sacrificed a lot so I could have the things I wanted to be happy. They bought me multiple video cameras over the years so I could practice my skills.

Entertainment Interviewer: Right, but wasn’t there someone who mocked you about your dreams, or at least tried to tell you that you’ll have to work twice as hard to make it as a woman in the industry.

Film Student: I—I guess that sort of thing does happen. But I don’t have any personal experience with it. Like I said, my family was very supportive.

Entertainment Interviewer: Okay. That’s—good for you.

Film Student: Yeah, thanks.

Entertainment Interviewer: Well, what are things like now? How does it feel to be a woman in such a male-dominated field?

Film Student: I don’t know, man. It feels great to be here, but I don’t really give my gender much thought, and no one so far has given me the impression they give it much thought either.

Entertainment Interviewer: Oh.

Film Student: Except for you. You seem to be giving it a lot of thought.

Entertainment Interviewer: I just want to acknowledge that it’s harder—I suppose I don’t want to make a generalization—but different. It’s different for a woman. People have different expectations, and there’s a history. No matter what job you get, it’s just..different.

Film Student: I think it’s only different because people look at it differently. I appreciate you trying to acknowledge it, but be careful to not fall into a trap while you’re at it. If we put less pressure on gender, we probably wouldn’t notice it as much, which is the ultimate goal here. I mean, think about when Clinton II became president. All anyone talked about was how she was the first female president of the United States. That’s great and all, but if a woman was the second president overall, immediately after Washington, we wouldn’t be singing her praises. I mean, maybe we would; it depends on who this hypothetical person was. My point is that it’s only a big deal because we make it a big deal. But I’m not impressed with Hillary Clinton because she’s a woman. I’m impressed with her because she’s a strong leader, and has a great deal of foreign policy experience. I don’t want to keep hearing about the first woman this, and the first black man that. We should be striving for a world where no one notices such things, because they’re totally normal. I don’t wanna be a female director. I just wanna be a director.

Entertainment Interviewer: Great. Well, that’s all the time we have today. Thanks for stopping by.

Microstory 469: Floor 17 (Part 2)

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Engineer 1: What are you talking about? How did I have anything to do with the construction of the elevators.

Engineer 2: You were the lead engineer for this building project, which means you’re responsible for all construction aspects of it!

Engineer 1: First of all, that is not what that means! Where did you go to school? That’s not what my job entails! I’m not responsible for everything! Secondly, the elevators were created, and installed, by outside contractors, like they always are! And two, I don’t like your tone!

Engineer 2: I don’t like your tone!

Engineer 1: Screw you!

Engineer 2: Screw you!

Engineer 1: You were the head engineer, which means that it was your job to contract the elevator...uh, contractors! This is still your fault!

Engineer 2: It is absolutely not my fault! This was group project! Oh, you think I built this whole building myself? Yep, that’s what I did! Derpa deepity doody doo! I’m just gonna set this brick here, and lay some cement on top of it, and boom! A goddamn building is born! Isn’t she PRECIOUS!

Engineer 1: That’s not what I was saying!

Engineer 2: You’re an idiot is what you’re saying! Words come out, but all I hear is “blah, blah, blah, la, la, la, I’m an idiot! I got my degree from, like, Wyoming...or something!”

Engineer 1: Yeah, that sounds JUST like me, jackass!

Engineer 2: What did you call me?!

Engineer 1: I sorry. English not so good. Perhaps a better translation is the biggest douche in the universe!

Engineer 2: Oh, you’re one to talk!

Engineer 1: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Engineer 2: Just that maybe you could use a douche once in awhile!

Engineer 1: Oh my God, that is so sexist, and completely ignorant about the female body! I can’t believe you said that to me!

Engineer 2: I can’t believe you’re trying to blame me for an elevator crash! This is just like Tulsa Trip!

Engineer 1: That was a completely different situation! And I thought you didn’t want me to bring that up again, but here you are, trying to use it in an argument against me? As if.

Engineer 2: The 90s called, they don’t want their catchphrase back, because even they know how retarded you sound!

Engineer 1: What did I say about using that word!

Engineer 2: I have no idea! When you talk, I usually just tune out and hope you’ll eventually get bored, and WALK AWAY!

Engineer 1: Oh I’m walkin’ away!

Engineer 2: Good!

Engineer 1: Fine!

Engineer 2: Great!

Engineer 1: Perfect!

Engineer 2: Wouldn’t have it any other way!

Engineer 1: I’ll see you at home!

Engineer 2: I’m cooking chicken tetrazzini!

Microstory 365: The Right to Not Be Raped

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Basic Romantic Involvement

I can’t remember what was supposed to go in this slot, but I removed it because it wasn’t that important, and because this is. I’m not going to worry about word count with this one, not as a joke, but because I just need to say what I need to say. Earlier this week, I was watching Nikki Glaser’s Not Safe. The whole premise of the show is to discuss sex openly. The program is informative, humorous, and a welcome relief after a week in a world like this. During one segment of this latest episode, she and a fellow personality took a small break from comedy to discuss rape as it pertains to current events. They still cracked a few jokes, but all in all, it was rather serious. They laid out some staggering statistics concerning recent court circuses—I’m sorry, I mean “cases”. But I guess that’s the real joke. Our adjudicative system is one big first draft that should be thrown out and rewritten. Seriously, if I tried to turn in a paper of the same caliber as the judicial branch, I would receive the only F I never had for writing. Instead of finding the truth, we only care about what can be proved, and if a woman comes forward with an accusation of rape or sexual assault, the first thing people do is try to figure out how to make her look like she’s lying. Victim-blaming should be a concept reserved for academic arguments, right at the top of the fallacy section in your debate handbook. Though I guess it’s already in there with ad hominem, isn’t it? It’s probably in a few more places too.

Rape is real. And it alone is a huge problem, I’ll give you that. But one rape survivor that Nikki interviewed made an insightful point when she said that a majorly overlooked problem is how everyone treats the situation following a rape. Judges, college authorities, and others are constantly telling women what they should wear, or how they should act, or what else they can do to keep from being raped. One dumbass politician even made the completely unscientific supposition that rape victims with ovaries have some sort of visceral “feature” capable of preventing unwanted pregnancies. These are baseless and ridiculous claims that so many idiots believe, if only to justify their own apathy or fear of dealing with the issue. It’s a lot easier to throw out a case and pretend the survivor is lying than it is to punish some stupid fucking football player because he brings in money. That nonsense makes me want to cheer for the Joker in the scene in The Dark Knight where he burns a giant pile of cash. Rapists need to be imprisoned, not just to punish them, and not just to keep them away from society, but so that maybe they can learn that rape is, ya know, wrong? They can’t do that if they get to move on with their lives. In fact, it encourages recidivism. And I know, rape is happening in prison as well, and it sounds like my suggestion wouldn’t work, but that’s an entirely different area where the judicial system has failed us.

Assume the fact of rape is a given, and just about everybody will—at least publicly—agree that rapists should pay for their crimes, but there’s one thing you may not agree with. Judges, and other people who actively support the “rape culture” should too be punished. Every school dean who sweeps the accusation under the rug, every judge who finds a very clear rapists innocent, every defense attorney who conducts oppo research on accusers just to defame their character and detract from the issue; they all deserve jail time. Judges, in particular, have far too much power over what the fuck happens in my country, and I for one am sick and goddamn tired of it. Where in your precious constitution does it say that they’re immune to the law? Why is it that, if a judge has a bias against someone, they get to do whatever they want, because they can always make the claim that they’re not really biased? Oh, they can’t lie? What a relief. If it is in the constitution somehow, then I implore you to get rid of it, because it’s a bullshit document anyway. I’m not sure why we’re still basing our lives on an old document that had no way of predicting present-day society. You don’t put so much trust in the bible, do you? Oh. That’s right. Now it all makes sense. I’m bested again by religion. Women have a history of being subjugated and objectified, so why should I expect things to be any different today? There’s gotta be some way for us to fix things, though. These are your religions...any ideas?

Intellectual Stimulation

Microstory 364: Basic Romantic Involvement

Click here for a list of every step.
Sexual Propagation

Not everyone who is alone is also lonely. Everyone requires different things out of life, and your drive towards human connection is not automatically universal. Hermits, as they are called, still depend on other people, just in indirect ways. Even if they live out in the wild, they weren’t always like that. But those are rare cases anyway. Even throughout the rest of the population, there are different types of relationships. There are as many kinds of people as there are people. Some are male, some female, some are somewhere in between, and some identify as genderless. There are even people out there who identify as asexual. As with anything, this is a gradient, but the basic idea is that they don’t experience the same kind of pleasure or satisfaction from sexual encounters. Some of these people are sociopaths, like the titular character from the series Dexter, but that’s not the only reason to reject societal traditions of sexual partnership. Once again, I believe I need to remind you that these “steps” I’ve laid out for you not only do not necessarily arrive in order, but also do not apply to everyone. Like asexuality, some people don’t enjoy or appreciate romantic relationships. They may remain alone, or they may lead sexually active single lives. Some people may even prefer the level of anonymity or detachment one might find in an association with a professional sex worker. Sidenote: I’ve not mentioned this in my nonfiction; prostitution should not be illegal. All of your reasonable objections to the sex industry don’t have to apply to it. You’re against violence, drug abuse, and kidnapping. So is everyone who doesn’t participate in those things. Anyway, the primary takeaway from this entry, and any other related essay, is how important it is to train yourself to avoid being judgmental. Just because someone doesn’t live the same way you do, doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Interracial marriages, okay. Open relationships, okay. Polyamory, okay. If you’re ever unsure whether a relationship is moral or not, just recall The Three C’s: consent, consent, consent. One, two, or more people are allowed to do what they please, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.

The Right to Not Be Raped

Microstory 35: Cellar Door

In the entire universe, there are only two species. There are many different kinds of humans, some of them “originating” from their own planets. If you ever encounter someone you believe to be an alien, they’re probably just a descendant of a genetically altered human. These come in the form of subspecies (vampires, elves, etc.), tangent species (e.g. dragons), and superspecies (e.g. Martians). The only true alien in the universe is called the Slrdr, and they are a complete evolutionary mistake. God is human, and made us in her image. So how the Slrdr evolved is something we don’t quite understand. But the most interesting part about them is that there are eight genders.

The male and female copulate through a combination of both liquid and pheromone secretion, stimulation, and song. The male deposits his sperm into one opening of the carrier while the female deposits a brood of several hundred ova into the other opening. Most of the several hundred ova will form zygotes, but usually only eight will survive after absorbing other zygotes. The carrier consumes blood orally from the sustainer. The eggs develop over the course of a half year during which the male, female, and carrier will sing. The carrier lays a clutch of eight eggs into a mudflat nest. If there are more or less than eight eggs, a defect or mutation may have occurred. It is not necessarily a problem; any number of things could have happened. The fertilizer sprays a growth hormone onto the clutch. The determiner injects enzymes into each egg that will mix the genes, leading to each individual scion’s gender and general genetic configuration. Each litter will contain one of each gender. All six genetic parents will be accounted for in the genes of the young. The fertilizer and determiner share the responsibility of protecting and watering the nest while singing.

The eggs will hatch after a half year. The young, considered to be one year old, will crawl into the pouch of the marsupial, which gives antibodies and other immunity boosters through its nipples for one year while singing. Marsupials are the largest of the genders, capable of sustaining the lives of two litters (if need be), but only if they consume blood from the sustainer as well. After the scions are fully developed, they will consistently receive milk containing protein, calcium, and other nutrients from the nipples of the giver who will teach them how to sing. Scions begin eating regular adult food after one more year (when they’re three years old). Scions are raised by all of their parents, along with their respective spouses, for five more years during which they will sing together. At eight years of age, children begin more independent lives. The parents will move on to conceive more children. At sixteen years of age, the scions restart the cycle.