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I don’t technically work for the Foundation. I work for a contract company
which specializes in performing auxiliary services for other organizations. We
have our hands in all the departments that make any sufficiently sized
business run smoothly, regardless of what their particular work product
happens to be. Every corporation has reception, every corporation has mail.
Facilities, A/V, printing/copying, shipping and receiving. We can come in and
do all that extra work for you so you can focus on succeeding and exceeding in
your specific industry. That’s my company’s slogan:
helping your business succeed and exceed. That’s plastered all over my
work area. I have all sorts of requirements about our branding, and labeling
things. It’s a switchboard, I know it’s a switchboard, I don’t have to print a
label for it, telling myself that it’s a switchboard with the company logo,
but that’s what they want. Which can be annoying and intrusive, because that
logo keeps changing. Since I started working for them, I’ve had to reprint and
rehang everything in my office twice. Some hip new marketing firm shoots
through and claims to have the best way to capture hearts and minds in the
modern world. Consistency, that’s what really gets you customers, and loyal
ones too. If you change your look every five minutes, they’re gonna move on to
something they recognize. Because that’s what makes people more comfortable;
what they’re already familiar with. Anyway, I’m blabbering on. I’ve worked for
them for almost ten years now, but only at the Tipton site for the last three.
The guy who did this before me took a job working directly for them as a
greeter. He sees it as a stepping stone to bigger and brighter things, which I
believe means becoming a settlement specialist, but don’t quote me on that.
Those people have education. You can’t just work your way up to it, and at any
rate, they’re going to shutter this whole place after the panacea comes out.
Some say that Landis will keep going, but he really shouldn’t. It doesn’t
matter how many people would rather have the real thing, or how often
you have to take the pill. It’s a cure! You’ll do whatever it takes to
make it work, and you’re not gonna waste this poor man’s time breathing on you
because you’re under the impression that it’s better. Listen to me again,
talking out my ass, as if I have any clue what’s going on up at the top. I
just answer phones, and I transfer callers to the right department. Nine
hundred and ninety-nine times out of a thousand, that means the Applications
voicemail. Literally no one monitors that line. You can leave a message,
because the carrier system they’re contracted to doesn’t let you turn off that
feature, but those messages are wiped every night. A robot tells you how to
submit an application, which is decidedly not on the phone! You think
we have time for that? It’s, like, a million questions! A lot of people also
want me to connect them directly to Mr. Tipton. Yeah, as if
that’s gonna happen. Good luck, buddy. It’s hard to reject them,
because they get so belligerent and entitled, but I have the full support of
my bosses, and our clients, to tell them to eff off if they keep giving
me ish. I don’t know, I just work here. It’s 2025, go to our website.
