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People call me Landis’ personal phlebotomist, and it’s true that I’m the only
one who performs that task, but the truth is that I do it for the whole staff,
and even some of the patients. There are two other phlebotomists that are
there to help me with other patients. People think that working for the
Foundation means that you can’t get sick. They think that if something
happens, he can just heal them up real quick, and then return to his normal
work. He probably would do that, but we can’t have our workers getting
sick just because they have that safety net. Our health insurance company, and
other regulatory bodies, would lose their minds if they found out that we were
being careless with our health and safety protocols. They really don’t care
what it is we do here. Sick people don’t just frequent our building. That’s
literally the whole reason that we exist, and like any normal medical
facility, we’re expected to take precautions. I test the staff’s blood
regularly, screening them for ever transmissible disease that they may have
come in contact with during their work. That’s in addition to the masking,
social distancing, and cleaning that we perform to prevent the spread. Landis
could have operated out of a tent in the middle of a field like those lunatic
religious liars, but he chose the hotel so people could keep their distances
from each other. Seriously, it was part of his initial pitch. I’ve seen it
with my own eyes. I mean, what’s the incubation period of a given disease, and
will his breath heal it if one patient contracted something from another just
five minutes ago? They didn’t know the answer to that question before. Now,
after research, we know that whatever is in Landis’ breath stays in the
target’s body for about a week, but we still take measures to prevent that
from happening. It would be irrational not to, particularly because we don’t
offer second healings. Back to what I was saying, I do draw his blood too. I
do it every day, and send it off to the researchers. It was very important to
him that he hire someone to do this job in house instead of relying on a
contractor. It’s not like it inherently prevents mishandling of his sample,
but just in general, he prefers to be the one to pay his staff. We do have a
couple of contract workers, and for legal reasons, they’re not allowed to live
on-site. I don’t know whether that bothers them or not, but I’m glad that I
get to stay here. Room service, house-keeping. It’s like I’m on vacation all
the time. You can’t beat this lifestyle. It’s not why I got certified, but I
don’t hate it.