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Once you walk into the building, and get checked in with one of the greeters,
you can ask me for help. There are a ton of us, patrolling and stationed
strategically around the floor, ready to provide assistance. There’s at least
one in every waiting room, one in the auditorium, several in the mainline.
Outside, inside, topside. If you’re thirsty, we’ll get you water. If you don’t
know where the nearest restroom is, we’ll escort you there. If you were in
line when you had to step out, we’ll have a queuer keep track of where you
were, and put you back in it at the right place. We can also answer questions
about the history of the Foundation, and behind-the-scenes information. We
know where you need to be, and where you’re going, and who you will be dealing
with. Guides are friendly, knowledgeable, and always ready to take action. We
get a ton of steps, so there’s one advantage. Since our job requires moving
around so much more than others, we enjoy a very special exception. We’re
entitled to injury healings. Hold for gasps. For the most part, Landis does
not handle cuts and broken bones. They may hurt, and they may even be
life-threatening, but because of the acute time constraint involved in the
most severe cases, the responsibility falls squarely on traditional medicine.
It will get your application immediately rejected, even before you upload your
medical and financial records. Some applicants have actually gotten real upset
about that, because they also had a chronic illness, and figured they should
include the normal injury along with it to be the most accurate. Don’t do it.
Anyway, that’s not really the point. I’ve kind of made it sound like guides
and queuers are getting injured left and right, but really, it’s more like a
benefit in our insurance package. It’s there if we need it, and while it has
happened before, we rarely need it. Mostly, the only people who ever had to
use it were either exhausted or dehydrated. I recall one guy who twisted his
ankle, and another was straight up punched in the face by a patient companion
who was trying to defend her mother against another patient. But those were
extreme circumstances. If necessary, we are allowed to cut in line to get it
completed, but that’s only when we can’t continue our shift without it. Since
it almost never happens, it might seem like a small thing, but I think it
speaks to the culture of our organization. The leaders understand that there
are exceptions to every rule. It’s important to maintain order and fairness,
but that doesn’t mean being overly strict and inflexible. It’s also just kind
of cool being a little bit more special on a staff of a very special
Foundation.
