Microstory 951: Bloopers

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Oopsy Daisy!

Bloopers. I love them because they’re funny, of course, but also because they show that the actors are real people enjoying their jobs. There was a time when bloopers were included in the extras section of a DVD, but now that we’re not watching films like that anymore, it’s kind of a dying art. They can put them up on YouTube, but then you have to think about seeking them out. Some films put them during the rolling credits, but I don’t think that’s done enough either. During my research for this tiny story that’s mostly just a waste of your time—which was not as fascinating as it sounds—I learned that some actors have refused to allow their outtakes to be released to the public. Perhaps the most famous example of this is from Leonard Nimoy, who didn’t appreciate his mistakes being shown at Star Trek conventions. I don’t love hearing that from someone I admire. Mistakes make us human, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I think, in general, people need to lighten up about those kinds of things in general. I would much rather you screw something up accidentally than do something really well, but never learn anything from it. I went over this sort of thing in my entry about constructive criticism, which was better written, so you should go read that one instead. Consider this one here to be part of my blooper reel.

Microstory 908: Educational YouTube Videos

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The internet is a wonderful place, and video sharing sites are some of the best examples of this. And by sites, I really just mean the one site, because if it’s not on YouTube, then does it even exist? I suppose Twitch is the one exception to this rule. Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook don’t count, because they’re designed to be watched as they’re posted, then quickly forgotten about, and not searched for later. While the internet in general has done more for public education than a thousand Horace Manns stacked on top of each other, there are three major sources of knowledge. Two of them are owned by Google, and people often access the third through a generic Google search. YouTube has allowed people to share memories and art with each other. It has supported short films, memorable clips, and an entirely new form of performance art. While they would obviously not exist without their precursors, nothing in the history of entertainment resembles the kind of videos YouTubers make. Not everything on the site is good (e.g. racist propaganda, kissing pranks, and Logan Paul), but I wanted to talk about something amazing. You can learn nearly anything from a good YouTube video. For every prank show clone, there’s a channel dedicated to education and enrichment. You can prop your tablet on the sink, and follow a tutorial for how to unclog the drain. You can study evolutionary biology on a whim. You can try your feet at dancing without embarrassing yourself in front of others. I follow a few good channels myself, like It’s Okay to Be Smart, and Crash Course. There are others that I find myself watching, like Vox, and Seeker. No longer is education limited to the elite, or geographically fortunate. You don’t have to have hardly any money to become an expert in your chosen field, relegating formal degrees to nothing more than tangible proof for employers. There are still some things that don’t work well with this format; specifically anything that requires a lot of hands-on work, like medicine, or aircraft operation. But you can still get an introduction to these concept with a few ten-minute videos, and I consider that a phenomenal achievement in human innovation. If you’ve ever wanted to learn something, but never thought you had the resources or time to, try YouTube. I’m working off a whole list.

Microstory 374: Guilty Pleasures

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Relationship Spontaneity

I never liked the concept of guilty pleasures. Way I see it, if you like something, then you should either be proud of it, or you should stop. Really think about whether you should stop something. If you like little children, then yes, you should most definitely stop. If you’re an adult man, and you like My Little Pony, then only maybe should you stop. If you’re an adult straight man and you like the ballet, then no, you should not stop. I have a wide range of interests. I like writing, adventure sports, photography, pre-hospital medicine, musicals, urban fantasy romance novels, alternative rock, hiking, the opera, disco, dancing, and singing. I watch The Vampire Diaries, Project Runway, Jason Statham movies, YouTube documentaries on how to science, and just about anything else that isn’t sports, most scripted reality television, or the news. So when I say that an individual has a right to their guilty pleasures, what I really mean is that they have a right to like what they like. I heard a quote—from a television show, of course (Necessary Roughness)—which I actually believe to be a modern proverb, or maybe an aphorism. I can’t remember what they were talking about, but she said “don’t yuck my yum”. Our culture has had a long history on pissing on everybody else’s interests. These range from genocide of those belonging to a particular religion, to being harassed for playing Dungeons and Dragons. If any youngsters are reading this then first, I hope you didn’t read the one about sex I did the other day. But I also want to say that school life is total bullshit. I was picked on a lot when I was your age, I think. I don’t quite remember, because who cares? None of those people matters to me these days, and I always knew that. I never knew I would end up like this, that I wouldn’t be as successful as I wanted, but I did know that life goes so far beyond the playground. I assimilated a little when I was very young, but I eventually got over that. Let no one tell you that you’re not supposed to like what you like. You are just fine as is.

Luxury

The Shape of Things to Come

I know that you are just absolutely dying to read my first flash fiction piece. Well, you're going to have to wait until next Saturday. Why? Because I want to start this new process at the beginning of the week; not somewhere in the middle, or the end. This coming Monday, one new microstory. The last one I wrote was...on November 18? Wow, it's been that long? What a hack. Anyway, I have no idea what it's going to be about, but that's the exciting part. I could lie to you and tell you that I will write only one a day, on the day of publishing, but I won't. I may start a bank, like I sometimes do with my nanofiction. I can't risk not having anything to produce. I'm actually probably going to write one today, as well as start on the first installment of "The Advancement of Mateo Matic".

I've really been thinking hard about whether I want to do something on Sundays. I've already made a list of potential YouTube videos. They would be pretty short, and would just involve me talking to the camera. I don't know how easy/hard it is to superimpose text, insert pictures, and use other editing techniques. Each one would be on a different topic that gives me the chance to explain some interesting, ridiculous, or misunderstood linguistic concepts. There would also be a few in there that are really just about logical fallacies that people make. Topics include contranyms, chicken or the egg, and unusual idiom origins.

Here's my problem with a YouTube series, I am not an actor. I don't have charisma, I have trouble getting my lines out, I'm not that attractive, and worst of all, I have a terrible voice. It's nasally and annoying and hard to understand. I would probably call it my worst quality, and I have autism! But if I want to be famous, which I do, then perhaps I ought to do it anyway. I'm supposed to be stepping out of my comfort zone, as is everyone. I still don't know...

In the meantime, here is a picture of my late digger baby, Sophie. Because reasons.