Microstory 1314: Virus (Part 2)

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Seasoned Reporter: Thank you for sitting down with me.

Viral Sensation: Thank you for this opportunity.

Seasoned Reporter: Now, I understand that you do film reviews—let’s see—no, reviews for films you haven’t seen, on your vlogging site.

Viral Sensation: It’s called a channel, and no, that’s not entirely accurate. I have seen all the movies that I review, but I pretend that I haven’t when I’m in character.

Seasoned Reporter: Would you care to explain what the point is in performing a fake review for a film?

Viral Sensation: Because it’s funny. Look, if I didn’t see the movies, and I criticized it online, people would just criticize me for not being open-minded, and for not giving it a chance. It wouldn’t be a joke; it would just be offensive to the fans. But my audience knows that I’m not truly coming from a place of ignorance. I make very specific references to plot points I couldn’t have known if I hadn’t seen it, but I twist it for comedic effect. For instance, when I saw the movie Severe—

Seasoned Reporter: I thought you only did scifi/fantasy and action films.

Viral Sensation: I branch out when I see something’s big in the zeitgeist. Anyway, when I reviewed Severe, I brought up the part where the next door neighbor purposefully plants toxic flowers in her garden, and sprays them with meat smoothie she blended, so the dog will eat them and die. I mused that it would have been easier to mix the toxic flower into the dog’s food directly, because it wasn’t like the owner had cameras. Of course, a huge part of the story is what the family captures on their security cameras, so that wouldn’t have worked. So my mistake—

Seasoned Reporter: I hate airquotes.

Viral Sensation: ...didn’t suggest I didn’t see the movie so much as it suggested that I was indeed in the theatre, but that I wasn’t really paying attention.

Seasoned Reporter: Yes, you sometimes reenact your experiences at the theatre, and you’re always on your phone while the film is playing.

Viral Sensation: Yeah, those are also fake. The whole thing is fake. I do this to entertain my audience. I didn’t know it was going to transform into this. If you look at my earliest videos, I have one where I put on really bad makeup, but act like I’m an expert giving a tutorial. I botch a baking recipe in another. None of these took off. It didn’t happen for me until I made a Stem where I note my fear of a bioweapon from the country of Bacteria if Yo Diggity ever comes back to life.

Seasoned Reporter: Oh my God, that’s from The Great Dictator. I get that reference.

Viral Sensation: You and thousands of other people who watched the Stem millions of times

Seasoned Reporter: And what is Stem? I mean...I know what it is, but my audience may not.

Viral Sensation: It’s a different site that lets you upload very, very short videos. Ten seconds maximum. Once I had my own small audience from that viral video, I decided to expand the concept into longer videos, which of course Stem can’t handle. Now I upload something once a day.

Seasoned Reporter: I see. And it’s ‘Il Diggedy’ Benzino Napaloni; not Yo Diggity.

Viral Sensation: Yeah, that was part of the joke. I was surprised it took off. My target demo is a little young for it.

Seasoned Reporter: Yeah. So, this must cost you some money, right? Going to the movies every day?

Viral Sensation: I haven’t paid for a single film in two years. Theatres send me free vouchers if I agree to promote them, and independent filmmakers send me DVDs and digital copies ahead of release to generate buzz.

Seasoned Reporter: They do? They’re not worried your fake review will confuse people?

Viral Sensation: No, people know what they’re getting into. It works. They send me gift baskets when their stuff becomes successful. I don’t get people to see the movie because of how I reviewed it. People see the movies because they know I’ve reviewed it, and they want to understand what makes my review funny.

Seasoned Reporter: Interesting, interesting. And how do you make money doing this?

Viral Sensation: I have four primary sponsors, three of which are in the film industry. I’ll promote one of them at the beginning of every video, and at the end, I’ll promote the people who sent me the copy of that specific movie, if that’s what happened. Some people have to sit through an advertisement before my video plays, and I get a cut of that action. Some people pay for premium access to the site, and I get some of that money too. Lastly, my fans support me directly on Benefactr.

Seasoned Reporter: Benefactr, my colleague did a piece on that four months ago. People just send you money every month?

Viral Sensation: They get something out of it. I give them shoutouts, and mail them signed autographs. One guy sent me five thousand dollars, which is the highest tier, so I flew him out here, and we hung out all weekend. People struggle to make it big on the internet, just like they do in the physical world. I’m one of the lucky ones. My content isn’t better; I just happened to be the one of the few that people discovered.

Seasoned Reporter: Well, I’ll be honest, I was reluctant to conduct this interview. I didn’t think you would be so...

Viral Sensation: Normal? Nice? Unassuming?

Seasoned Reporter: Genuine.

Viral Sensation: That’s very kind of you to say. Now how ‘bout we do this?

Seasoned Reporter: Do what?

Viral Sensation: Do what? You’re gonna be in my next video, and help me review Devastation Damage. I’m sure you saw it.

Microstory 1313: Virus (Part 1)

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Seasoned Reporter: Ma’am, I know what you’re going to say, but I just can’t do it. I have too much integrity.

News Editor: Seasoned Reporter, I’ve told you a thousand times; this is 2020—call me sir, just like you would anyone else.

Seasoned Reporter: And I’ve told you twenty-eight times to please refrain from hyperbole around me.

News Editor: Tell me more about what you said in regards to your integrity. What does that have to do with an assignment that your superior has given you?

Seasoned Reporter: The girl you want me to interview is a joke.

News Editor: She’s a woman.

Seasoned Reporter: Okay.

News Editor: Do you have a problem with the fame that a woman has garnered from her work?

Seasoned Reporter: I know everyone thinks that I’m sexist, but I’m not. I don’t care whether she has a—um—I just don’t think that I would call what she does work. She makes silly and uninspired videos that unchallenged middle schoolers can watch when they should be doing their studies.

News Editor: Have you watched any of the videos yourself?

Seasoned Reporter: I’ve not.

News Editor: So, you don’t know what it is you object to.

Seasoned Reporter: I don’t know to what I object.

News Editor: Right. Do you think maybe you shouldn’t be prejudging this person? Maybe you should take a look at her creations, read a little bit about her accomplishments as an influencer, and take a look at her outreach statistics?

Seasoned Reporter: I know that sounds reasonable, but I object to the very idea of an influencer. It is not a job in itself. I am an influencer. I reported on war zones, and I was the first journalist to get the maniac who inspired the film Severe to open up. These are the things that I did, and because of how they impacted my audience, I influenced the world. Kids these days aren’t actually doing anything. They just decide they want to be influencers, and because of their looks, it happens for them. They don’t have to be thoughtful, or provocative, or do anything at all. They just need clicks. My nephew taught me that word. It’s all about clicks.

News Editor: Is that any different than what you do? Sure, you tackle serious issues, but you’re still just as preoccupied with readership and viewership as any of us. If no one sees what you’ve done, then does it really matter? Are you more important than Miss Viral Sensation just because she focuses on entertainment instead of news?

Seasoned Reporter: I would prefer to not answer that.

News Editor: I think you just did.

Seasoned Reporter: Now, wait. You can’t just infer—

News Editor: I’m going to phrase this in the form of a question, and leave it up to you to decide whether it really is a question, or actually just an order that’s been disguised as an option. Do you understand what’s about to happen?

Seasoned Reporter: Umm...I think so.

News Editor: Then here’s the question.

Seasoned Reporter: I hate airquotes.

News Editor: Are you going to interview Viral Sensation, like you’ve been told, or are you going to continue making problems, and giving your boss a headache?

Seasoned Reporter: ...

News Editor: ...

Seasoned Reporter: I’ll do the interview.

News Editor: Great answer. What was it like, being the interviewee for a change?

Seasoned Reporter: I didn’t love it.

Microstory 1312: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to answer them to the best of your ability. Don’t think too hard about them. Say the first thing that comes to your mind; that’s generally the most honest. They may be a little strange, but I assure you, there is a point to it all. Does this make sense?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Yes.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: Where were you between the hours of 7:00 AM and 8:30 AM on Sunday, May 5, 2019?

Emotional Trauma Patient: I don’t remember; probably sleeping.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Adolf Hitler, as long as you give me access to a steak knife.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: What is your favorite film?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Wait, no! The thing about the steak knife makes me sound really violent.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: Please, just continue answering the questions. I am not here to judge you. I won’t even be analyzing your responses until later. What is your favorite film?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Severe. Ugh, that’s violent too.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: What do you see when you look at this?

Emotional Trauma Patient: An inkblot.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: How well did you do in school?

Emotional Trauma Patient: I was very good at school, but I never liked it much, and obviously I haven’t been able to go to college. I don’t think I want to, though, anyway. I just don’t really see the point. I was better at math than any other subject, but that’s really the only good thing I can say about my experiences in education over the better part of the last two decades.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: What kinds of things do you like to do in your free time?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Well, I can’t see no to a good first-person shooter. I like to sing and dance, though that doesn’t mean I’m any good. I also like to take my dog to the off-leash park.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapist: Why are you here?

Emotional Trauma Patient: [inner thoughts] Why am I here? These questions seemed so easy, but then she just gets all existential on me. She could have asked me that in any other way. Why did you try to kill yourself? Where did you get the drugs? Was your boyfr—ex-boyfriend involved? Do you intend to try again? But she just asked me why I’m here, as if I have a choice. Well, I guess it doesn’t necessarily mean that. She wants to know what drove me to do what I did, because that is what resulted in me having to be here. Or does she legit mean for me to answer it in the more philosophical sense; like, what was I put on this Earth to do? I don’t know the answer to that, which is probably why I tried to escape. Is that what she’s looking for? She knows I can’t answer the abstract version of that question, and that non-answer is somehow the answer to the more literal version. Oh no, she’s staring at me. She told me I’m meant to answer these quickly, but I’ve been thinking for about two hundred years already. Why am I here? Why am I HERE?

Emotional Trauma Patient: Because I don’t want to be alone anymore.

Microstory 1311: Suspected Arson

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Defense Attorney: Are you an arsonist, sir?

Arsonist: I am, yes.

Defense Attorney: Are you saying that because you were convicted on two counts of arson in the past, or because you admit to your guilt?

Arsonist: Both.

Defense Attorney: But you’re reformed?

Arsonist: I don’t like to use that term. It suggests that I’ve been cured of my condition, and now no one ever has to worry about me. But that’s not the case. I meet regularly with both my parole officer, and a state-provided therapist. I go to support groups, and I keep myself away from fire as much as possible. I even had to buy an electric stove, because a pilot light alone could trigger me.

Defense Attorney: But these techniques are working, correct? You’ve not set any fires since you were released from prison.

Arsonist: I switched from smoking to vaping, just so I wouldn’t even have to use a lighter anymore. So no, I’m not reformed. I’m recovering, just like any addict who’s recognized they have a problem. But yes, the program is working.

Defense Attorney: Okay, okay. Are you guilty of the crime in question today?

Arsonist: If there was a crime, then no.

Defense Attorney: Why do you say that?

Arsonist: I’m not convinced this was arson at all. But again, if it was, it was absolutely not me.

Defense Attorney: What do you believe led the authorities to rule that arson was the cause of the fire?

Arsonist: There were multiple points of origin, which is highly suspect, I admit. It’s not too terribly common, but it is possible for a building as old as that to have such bad wiring that seemingly separate fires begin at around the same time. But they are more connected than the fire marshal realizes. Well, I shouldn’t say that.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Arsonist: The fire marshal might have been able to come to the same conclusion as I did, but he was evidently not allowed to conduct a thorough investigation. The police linked me to the building so quickly that they steamrolled the marshal into rushing the paperwork.

Arson Case Prosecutor: Objection. He doesn’t really know any of this. Where is he getting his information?

Arson Case Judge: Mr. Arsonist, I highly doubt you are close enough to the investigation to have any knowledge of how it was conducted. Please refrain from speculating about it.

Arson Case Prosecutor: I’d also like to—

Arson Case Judge: Yes, yes. I understand he is behaving more like an expert witness than a suspect, but I would still like to hear what he has to say as his opinion speaks to his credibility, and reasonably contributes to his defense.

Defense Attorney: Your Honor, the purpose of the United States judicial system is to find the truth at nearly any cost. I believe we have provided the court with more than enough reasonable doubt that my client had anything to do with this tragedy. Mr. Arsonist has never killed anyone before. In fact, the reason he was given so much prison time before is because he planned every one of his crimes down to the last detail, which ruled out the possibility of a lack of impulse control. He always made sure no one was in the building. If this fire we’re talking about today was indeed a crime, it was sloppy and poorly-planned, and that simply isn’t how my client would have done it. We also believe the authorities to have mishandled this case, and jumped to conclusions based on discriminatory sentiments, and weak circumstantial evidence. We intend to sue the city for their actions.

Arson Case Judge: That is your right, but it has nothing to do with me. The case I’m hearing today is in regards to Mr. Arsonist’s guilt. Am I to understand that you wish to file for this case to be dismissed.

Defense Attorney: That is correct, Your Honor.

Arson Case Judge: The defendant will be returned to City Jail while the prosecution attempts to complete the investigation. Prosecutor, you have forty-eight hours to come up with some real evidence against the defendant, or he will be released.

Arson Case Prosecutor: Thank you, Your Honor.

Defense Attorney: Thank you, Your Honor

Arsonist: Thank you.

Defense Attorney: ...

Arsonist: ...Your Honor.

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: December 5, 2273

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When Mateo was at his own memorial, a lot of things happened. None of it was bad—except for maybe that time he nearly choked The Delegator to death, so he could get Ramses back from the future—but it was important. When you gather that many people from all over time and space, they’re bound to exchange information about what they’ve been dealing with, and it gave him some insight into what was required of him. The occurrence he was most concerned with right now was when Newt Clemens appeared, and gave Horace Reaver the hundemarke, which was what they had been searching for this whole time. Horace didn’t talk a whole lot about it, and maybe he didn’t know too much himself, but Mateo felt very strongly that his moment in 2027 was when the hundemarke would be finally destroyed. That was why Meliora wanted Mateo to retrieve him from the timeline at that point, rather than some other time period. That had to be the truth, but unfortunately it came with side effects.

The timeline had to be honored, and thinking on it now, he realized there was probably a very immutable reason for that. Horace did indeed take the hundemarke back to 2027, and he did indeed give it to Bhulan, and she did indeed take it into some kind of magical fire, sacrifice herself, and end the object’s reign terror once and for all. If this was what happened, it could not be changed, and Mateo wouldn’t have been able to keep Bhulan here in the present day investigation if he wanted to. The problem now was figuring out what they were going to do without this powerful person’s involvement. What was the world going to look like without her in it? Of course, she still existed, and Nerakali still knew that, but what he couldn’t allow her to do was realize how helpful she could be for them in this situation. Even if he managed to erase hers and Leona’s memories, and make sure history never repeated itself, so they never came up with the idea to find her in the first place, that left a big hole in their investigation. Because she wasn’t just going to help them find the hundemarke itself. They also needed to find the person using it, and they still had no apparent means of doing that.

Things were awkward after Mateo woke them up from having forced them into unconsciousness. While Nerakali was stewing, because they never figured out how to get her out of her stupor, Leona questioned how it was they got to Kansas City. The last thing she remembered, they were back at Machu Picchu, and had no plans to come here. He played dumb, claiming he didn’t remember either, but also had to play it down, so it wouldn’t become this big mystery they had to solve. He didn’t want them thinking someone was controlling them from a distance, because that would distract from their mission. Both of them were suspicious of the situation, but not him, though neither of them seemed too interested in scrutinizing further.

When the next year rolled around, he continued to have no idea how they were going to move forward, so the only thing he could do was try to fix the most pressing issue. Nerakali’s life had just been turned upside down, and if he couldn’t help her by suggesting Bhulan, he would have to do it some other way. They were staying in visitors’ quarters in the KC arcology, which gave them access to the internet. While Nerakali was having a depression nap, and Leona was just having a regular nap, Mateo got online, and searched for special events. He wanted to find something light and breezy, but he found it difficult to navigate the 23rd century computer system. By the time he finally found what he was looking for, enough time had passed for napping, so he woke the other two up, and presented them with his plan.

“Star Trek?” Nerakali questioned.

“The Motion Picture,” Mateo clarified.

“That movie’s three hundred years old,” Leona pointed out.

“Yes, but it’s 2273, which serves as the setting for the film.”

“So?”

“So, the Earthans are holding a special immersion room event.”

“Immersion room?” Nerakali began. “Why don’t they just do it in VR?”

“Because Star Trek didn’t have VR,” Mateo tried to explain. “They’re doing it holodeck-style.”

“I guess the show wasn’t that accurate then,” she volleyed.

“Either way, they didn’t have holodecks in the franchise yet,” Leona added.

“Grr.” He held up the information panel on his e-paper. “Look, you get to play members of the crew. It’ll be fun.”

Leona scoffed. “What are we gonna do next year? Logan’s Run?”

Mateo swiped left on his paper, which revealed another flyer. “Yes, that’s next year! An event called The 100: Sanctum begins in eight years. Apparently, they’ve just been doing this sort of thing for decades.”

Nerakali reached out, and took the page from him. She then dramatically tossed it on the floor. “They’ve been doing it for decades without us, and will continue to do so until they decide to quit themselves. I’m not participating.”

“Okay, fine. It was just an idea,” he said as Nerakali was slowly starting to walk away.

“How does this help us find Erlendr Preston?” Leona asked.

“It wasn’t meant to do that. I was just trying to give us a break. This has been hard on all of us, but especially on her. I think it would be good for us to take our mind off of it...start fresh in the morning.”

Nerakali stopped, and turned back around. “It was a nice idea, but it’s over.” She removed her Cassidy cuff, just like she had last year before she lost her memories. “You are free from your obligation.”

“Don’t do that,” Mateo argued. “Don’t do that,” he reiterated. “If you don’t want the day off, then I have another idea. I didn’t really wanna do it, because I didn’t think you would be up for it, but I don’t want you to give up either.”

“What are you thinking?” Leona asked.

As Mateo was hunting for something fun, it also occurred to him that the only reason Bhulan would be able to help was because of her time power. There were other ways someone could help, though. What they needed was information, and they hadn’t really put much effort into gathering that. Well, Nerakali seemed to have done that on her own, but perhaps she missed somebody.

“We need your brother.” He didn’t really believe that, and desperately hoped neither of them would agree with it, but this was his best way of driving the conversation where he really needed it.

“Why the hell would we do that?”

“He knows your father, right? He knows how he thinks. Arcadia can’t help us anymore, so we need another Preston to replace him.”

“I’m the only Preston you’ll ever need.” Nerakali got all up in Mateo’s face.

“So you’re not quitting?” Leona smirked.

“I can’t quit if you’re thinking about looking for Zeferino. Jesus.”

“If not him, then who?” he began to reason. “There were only five people up in The Gallery dimension, right?” He knew that wasn’t accurate. “Erlendr’s evil, and he has Arcadia. You’re already here with us, so that only leaves your real mother, and hasn’t she been missing this whole time?”

“I spent many years searching for my mother, before any of this happened. I believed she was dead until I started hearing about sightings of her throughout time. I don’t know why my father is masquerading as her, but I don’t think he would do that if she weren’t actually dead. He probably thinks he’s honoring her memory.”

“Then Zef is our only option.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Leona contended. “There weren’t five people in the Gallery. There were six. The Artist.”

“Yes, the Artist,” Nerakali said. “Athanaric Fury. I have a pretty good idea where he is right now. So we don’t need my brother at all. I don’t know if Fury knows something, but he might.” She bent down, and retrieved her Cassidy cuff again. “We’re talking to him instead.”

Mateo felt bad about manipulating her like that, but he was worried she wouldn’t be into it if he had to ask her about Athanaric outright. He felt he had to give her a much worse option, and let her talk him down to a better one. Still, it put a pit in his stomach. Was this what happened to her? Did her ability to control people’s memories necessarily corrupt her, and was that happening to him now? Leona seemed fine, but she also wasn’t using the power anyway. He had to keep an eye on himself, so he wouldn’t hurt anybody.

“Where are we?” he asked after Nerakali teleported them to some kind of cave.

“Mount Rushmore,” Nerakali answered. “FDR’s head, to be precise.”

“They added FDR sometime after 2014?” Mateo pressed.

“No.” A man came in to the corridor. It must have been Athanaric Fury, a.k.a. The Artist. He was already in Mateo’s little notebook, since he had heard of him before, but he now had to switch him over to the list of people he had met. “Shortly before the end of his tenure as president, Truman commissioned a fifth head to be added to the mountain, in honor of his predecessor, Franklin D. Roosevelt. While the project was under development, however, Eisenhower reversed this decision, choosing to redirect the money for more productive uses. A very powerful choosing one didn’t care for this, though, so he finished the head himself, but kept it hidden in a parallel spatial dimension. He then went on to carve busts for every president afterwards, except for one, until the U.S. government was dissolved. They’re all hidden too, of course.”

“Let me guess, Donald Trump is the one president he didn’t carve,” Mateo said.

“The real estate guy?” Fury asked. “No, he wasn’t a president. I’m talking about Buchanan.” Oh, right. This was a different reality.

“Do you live here?” Leona figured. It was a fitting home for a sculptor.

“I’m just visiting,” Fury replied. “I don’t live in any one place. I like to keep moving. After I completed The Mass, I put away my special tools, and focused on true art, rather than creating people.”

“What about Serif?” Mateo asked. “You helped Lincoln Rutherford build her for me.”

Fury shook his head. “That wasn’t me.”

“Who is this other artist you’re talking about?” Nerakali asked. That was twice now that a Preston was ignorant about something. Being the most knowledgeable person in the room was kind of their thing. He had always assumed there just wasn’t anything they didn’t know.

Fury got all serious. “You will die never knowing.” It wasn’t a threat, but it was cold. He moved on from it quickly. “Now. Why are you here? You don’t need me to build you someone, do you? Like I said, I don’t do that anymore.”

“We just need to know if you know how to find Erlendr Preston,” Leona explained to him. “He’s been killing people, and must be stopped.”

Fury nodded his head, knowing what they were talking about. “I have no idea where he is. I didn’t even know he was involved. I thought it was Savannah, or Arcadia, or both.

“He’s disguised as mother. I don’t know why.”

“There are some things I know about him that you might not. Parents always keep things from their children. I can’t promise it’ll help, but I’ll tell you what I can.”

“Thank you,” Leona said, “it’s much appreciated.”

After Fury gave them his intel, they left him alone, which was how he wanted it. Mateo couldn’t stop thinking about this mysterious second clay human-maker. Whatever his identity, he was going in the notebook.

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Dardius: Mateo Matic (Part IX)

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No, it wasn’t Cassidy in the background. Mateo was seeing Meliora Rutherford, whom he had only met a couple times; once in an alternate reality. They didn’t look anything alike, but the former was the person he was expecting to be here. He had always wondered why it was that Gilbert Boyce owned this planet, rather than her. She was in charge of the only inhabited building on it back when this all began, so why did her power not spread as the population did? After he hugged everyone in the room who was there for his memorial already, he decided to be brave, and pull Meliora aside, so he could speak with her about this. Seeing her here, and realizing why it was that all these people were coming together, gave him an idea.

“I thought this day might come,” Meliora said.

“You did?” he asked. “So you know what I’m going to say.”

“I have no idea,” she admitted. “But you and I have not spoken in quite a long time, from both of our respective perspectives, so we were probably due. Ask me anything.”

“Why did Boyce own this planet, and not you? I mean, didn’t you basically run it, and weren’t you the one who named it”

“Oh, we’re talkin’ about that? Okay. Well, it’s really complicated, but the gist of it is that I don’t want it. Maqsud owed Boyce a favor, and that favor came in the form of a star system. Boyce owed me a favor, but it was a much smaller one, so that favor came in the form of being able to use this planet for my needs. I wanted a place where Earthans could feel safe and comfortable. Right down to the surface gravity, they needed to feel like they were still on the same world. Keep in mind that this agreement was discussed and finalized when The Rogue was possessing the body of Baudin, and one other person. Neither one of them was evil, like The Apprentice, so he was far more congenial at the time. Anyway, I was responsible for The Sanctuary, and Boyce was not allowed to interfere, but he did maintain control over the rest of the planet. Or rather, he maintained theoretical control. He never had any ideas of what he could do with it, so when a few of my guests wanted to go out camping, for instance, we didn’t run into any problems.

“Around the time that Boyce first died, and ownership transferred to you, the people I was rescuing from Earth were multiplying beyond the Sanctuary’s boundaries. I took a risk, and expanded without permission, because I assumed you wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

“Of course not,” Mateo confirmed.

“Good. So, I started using more and more land, but I realized my people no longer needed me. They procured their own way of extracting those in need from the timeline, and of figuring out precisely who those people were. Recognizing that I would probably only be a hindrance to this new civilization’s development, I determined the best thing for me to do was leave.”

“Where did you go? Or when?”

“It’s a little bit of both. I began to travel to other universes.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I never know where I’m going, or what I will find when I arrive, because I have no means of navigating the bulkverse. That’s why I can’t own this planet. I can always return to a brane that I’ve been to, but I can’t guarantee where in the timeline I’ll be, or even if I’ll be in the latest timeline,” she said with airquotes. “So now I have a question for you, are you asking out of curiosity, or are you trying to pass it off to me?”

“Do you think I should...pass it off, that is?”

Meliora stood there for a moment. “Probably. I can’t take it, though. I’m a bulk traveler and that’s the way I like it. After this is over, I will be leaving again. If you would like someone to take Dardius off your hands, I can help you do that. It’s a good time for it, because even though you’re obviously alive, you have died, and that’s sort of when ownership transference happens.”

“Right. The problem is you are exactly who I had in mind. I don’t know of anyone else. Do you?”

Mateo’s memorial was quite literally a global event. The only people not paying attention to it were in emergency situations, like those at the hospital. Even they had the ceremony on in the background, though. There wasn’t enough room for everyone to watch in one place, however, so only a select few tens of thousands of people were afforded tickets to the stadium. Other stadiums held their own events, though they were self-regulated, and unofficial. Even the people in the main stadium didn’t have the best view, because there was a much smaller crowd on the grounds, full of only people who knew Mateo personally. Though the event would not begin for another few hours, Meliora decided to transport the living Mateo there, so he could catch a sneak preview. She slowed time down to a crawl so they could get a good look from another dimension.

“I don’t know how all these people get here,” Meliora began as they were staring at the group. “I dispatched some of my most trusted allies to assist in the endeavor, because the powers that be are not involved this time, like they were with your final showdown with The Cleanser in the Colosseum. I was also unable to recruit Glaston for this, because your wedding with Leona nearly killed him.”

“Who’s that guy?” Mateo was pointing to a mysterious man who they did indeed encounter at the wedding.

“He’s from the future. Don’t worry about it. Are you listening to me?”

“Yes, of course.”

Meliora went on, “not everyone here would be up to the task of owning a planet.”

“How hard could it be? I did almost nothing as owner. I only became Patronus later, and that didn’t last very long, and it never truly had to happen at all.”

“It is a psycho-emotional strain, Mateo. You’ve always been too busy to feel it, especially since for a good chunk of the time, you didn’t even know how many people lived here. All these people do. The new owner would know from the start that billions of people will know their name. They’ll likely feel the obligation to live here, because they’ll have the option, whereas you and Leona never did. They will spend their days in the public eye, not possessing any real power, but being asked for help anyway. Mateo, if you choose someone to take this world from you—which, by the way, you don’t actually have to—you will be simultaneously giving them an enormous gift, and a massive burden.”

“Do I have to give it to anyone at all?” Mateo hoped. “Can I not just relinquish my rights, or something?”

“Normally, yes. But with this particular world, with this many people, who all believe in you, no. They’re comfortable with having an owner, kind of like how it took over two centuries for the United Kingdom to abolish the royal family, and transition completely to a real democratic republic.”

“Wull, if I try to give Dardius to someone else, do the people have to approve of that person?”

“Well, they will, because you do. I know that seems like I’m not answering the question, but it’s true. They will accept anyone. You could hand it off to Adolf Hitler, Francisco Franco, and Donald Trump, and they’ll smile, because they’ll trust you had your reasons.”

“I don’t think I’m going to go that route. I want to choose someone who’s up for the job. Please don’t be neutral on this. If you have a good choice in mind, I want to hear it.”

“I have to be neutral, because I’m too powerful to let people listen to me too much. I do know someone who should be involved in this decision, though. I’ll take you back to the recent past, just before Leona arrives.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Mateo returned to the Sanctuary hotel, and had an hour-long talk with his wife about what they were going to do with this planet. They generated a list of their most responsible friends, and pared it down. In the end, the three-generational Einarsson family proved themselves to be the most logical choice. Any help they needed they could secure from their various friends and allies, and as the owner of a whole planet, Cassidy would be forever protected from anyone who would do her harm. The trick would be convincing them to agree to it in the first place. He didn’t really know if the three of them had to agree to this, because Gilbert never gave him a choice, but he was determined to not force the issue if they didn’t consent. That wasn’t Mateo’s responsibility, though. Leona would have to take care of that herself while he was off doing something else. There were two people who were vital to the services, but Meliora’s people were struggling with finding a way to retrieve them. One in particular would not come easily, mostly because he had no idea who Mateo was.

Ramses was difficult to get to, because of when and where he was. Horace Reaver, on the other hand, was difficult because they evidently couldn’t choose just any version of him in any time period. The Horace living in 2027 was the one who needed to see the events that would be unfolding today, for temporal reasons that Mateo wasn’t capable of understanding. He just had to trust that Meliora knew what she was talking about when she explained this to him. This would be a lot easier if he had managed to retain Nerakali’s brain blending power, but it was still possible without it. His best chance at success would be to appeal to Horace’s better nature, and make sure he suppressed his dark tendencies.

< > Entire Story

Microstory 1310: College Graduate

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College Graduate: Thank you for seeing me, Mr. Warehouse Supervisor. I know you were wary of me at first. Though, I’m not entirely confident I understand why.

Warehouse Supervisor: Yes—oh, you can go ahead and sit in that rolly chair. I have to stand right now, because of this medical condition. Yes, I originally filed your application away, because it says you have a college degree.

College Graduate: Is that not a good thing?

Warehouse Supervisor: Well, it is in general, but not only does this position not require it, but I’m not sure we should allow it.

College Graduate: I don’t understand.

Warehouse Supervisor: I think you do understand, and that’s why you had your aunt swing this interview.

College Graduate: I didn’t ask her to do that.

Warehouse Supervisor: Okay, then I’ll tell you that, beyond this interview, I will offer you no special treatment. Nor will I hold your aunt’s actions against you. You came in for an interview, just like anybody else. I’ve already forgotten the circumstances of the schedule. But that doesn’t mean the college aspect of your résumé doesn’t lower your chances of getting the job. We’re in a warehouse, son, and the people I employ to work it are here because they can’t get anything else. Some passed high school, others earned their GEDs on the side while they worked; one guy’s doing that right now. A couple never got their diplomas in any form, and have no intention of doing so. We don’t have anyone like this on payroll right now, but we’re also our policy to be open to hiring convicted felons. None of my guys, however, has so much as gone to a semester of college. We’re all just normal, and people with your experience just don’t get people like us.

College Graduate: I recognize that I am, quote-unquote, overqualified to work here, but I do not believe that means I do not deserve it. The fact is that I’ve not been able to find work anywhere else. I have a degree in marketing, which opens me up to all sorts of industries. Unlike, say, a chemist, I could potentially work anywhere. Everyone could do with a good marketing strategy, because everyone is selling something. Yet here I am before you, because I’ve been looking for two months, and have only managed three interviews total. So maybe I’m overqualified for this, but I am also evidently underqualified for anything else.

Warehouse Supervisor: There are lots of jobs that are less fancy than marketing, but better than warehouse picking. Besides, everything you just said? You can’t talk like that here. Quote-unquote, yet here I am before you. No one’s gonna show you any respect if they think you think you’re a king.

College Graduate: No way could you interpret the way I talk to mean that I think I’m a king.

Warehouse Supervisor: Son. I can’t give you a job. I mean, we already have a hostile professional relationship.

College Graduate: Something tells me I’m not the first person here you’ve disagreed with. And what, you fill out human resources reports when there’s a personnel issue? You can’t have it both ways; claiming this to be a team of normal people, but also that you think you can’t get along with someone who’s a little different. You may think people with more education look down on you, but have you considered the possibility that it’s the other way around? Because from where I’m sitting...it is you who’s looking down on me.

Microstory 1309: Fish Feet

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Celebrity Interviewer: First of all, I am a huge fan of your work.

Seasoned Actor: Thank you very much.

Celebrity Interviewer: I mean, your performance in Severe was phenomenal; absolutely breathtaking.

Seasoned Actor: I appreciate you saying that.

Celebrity Interviewer: But that’s not why you’re here, is it?

Seasoned Actor: No.

Celebrity Interviewer: You wanna talk about your new project. It’s a pretty big departure from the kinds of things you normally do, correct?

Seasoned Actor: That’s right. It’s called Fish Feet.

Celebrity Interviewer: [Giggles]

Seasoned Actor: [Clears throat] It’s about a fish who dreams of walking on land. One day, he meets The Urchin Wizard, who grants him his wish by making him grow legs. So he goes out to explore the world with his best friend, who’s a crab. It’s delightful.

Celebrity Interviewer: That is not a word I’m seeing in the reviews.

Seasoned Actor: Well, there are millions of words, soo...

Celebrity Interviewer: A critic called it, quote, “unabashedly the worst thing I’ve ever been forced to watch in its entirety. If it weren’t my job, I would have stopped playback after ten minutes. I almost quit the paper because of this.”

Seasoned Actor: Well, that’s just one man’s opinion, from some blog site, I’m sure.

Celebrity Interviewer: It’s from the New York Times.

Seasoned Actor: Look, like you said, it’s a departure from my other work, but that doesn’t mean it’s good—I mean, not good. It doesn’t mean it’s not good.

Celebrity Interviewer: Another critique reads, “the fish’ new legs are probably about two meters in length, so he can walk alongside the humans he meets, but way too skinny. They made me really uncomfortable, and traumatized my four-year-old daughter. For some context, she laughed when that anthropomorphic peanut died. She made me turn Fish Feet off so we could watch Watership Down again. That’s why this article is a day late.”

Seasoned Actor: Okay, yes. I’ve heard these criticisms, but I’m just here to tell everybody that I loved working on this film. The director was amazing; it felt like I had known her for years. It’s supposed to be fun and silly. They made his legs ridiculous on purpose, to make kids laugh, and I think they succeeded.

Celebrity Interviewer: Apparently, there are two separate jokes about pedophilia?

Seasoned Actor: Oh my God, I’m sick of hearing about this. It’s a pun...because the fish has feet?

Celebrity Interviewer: No, no, no, yeah, we get it. That doesn’t make it okay.

Seasoned Actor: We’re done here. I thought you were going to take this seriously.

Celebrity Interviewer: I was to understand the point was that you wanted to stop having to be so serious. But I am sorry. Let’s talk about the movie. Please don’t leave.

Seasoned Actor: No, it’s done. Get this goddamn thing off my neck! We went off the record, by the way. I better not see this footage on the internet later, or your lawyers are gonna wish they had gone to medical school, where it’s less stressful.