About a year and a half ago, I tried my hand at poetry. It wasn’t the first
poetry I ever wrote in my life, but it was the first time I thought maybe
someday someone might read them. Here we are again, but while those were
free verse, these are sonnets. Sonnets are a very rigid format that somehow let
you go anywhere you want. Fourteen lines, every other line in a stanza rhymes,
until the last two lines, which rhyme with each other. That’s not all, you
have to have ten syllables exactly in each line. But even that doesn’t explain
it, because iambic pentameter is more about rhythm too. Unlike my first poems,
which were from the perspective of some of my characters, I believe that these
ones will come from me. I’ve already written the first one; half months ago,
half today. That’s probably not really how you’re meant to do it, but I think
I ran out of time, and forgot about it. The idea was to have them locked and
loaded before my last series ended, but when has that ever worked out for me?
I’m more nervous about these than my last poetry series, since they’ll be
about my personal life. The first one is about my first dog, and the last one
will be about my current dog. I have no clue what I’ll write about in the
meantime. As before, please be kind—I’m at my most vulnerable here. I think
I’ve mentioned at some point that I am not a wordsmith. My strengths lie in
the narratives; not the execution of the text. Still, I had to do these,
because the math works out too perfectly. After today, there are fourteen days
left this year before I get to my huge Mateo Matic project. It just made sense
to write fourteen sonnets of fourteen lines each, and then likely never again.
They’re obviously going to be short; nothing I can do about that, so the whole
thing will be a quick read. Wish me luck.
-
Current Schedule
- Sundays
- The Advancement of Mateo MaticTeam Matic prepares for a war by seeking clever and diplomatic ways to end their enemy's terror over his own territory, and his threat to others.
- The Advancement of Mateo Matic
- Weekdays
- PositionsThe staff and associated individuals for a healing foundation explain the work that they do, and/or how they are involved in the charitable organization.
- Positions
- Saturdays
- Extremus: Volume 5As Waldemar's rise to power looms, Tinaya grapples with her new—mostly symbolic—role. This is the fifth of nine volumes in the Extremus multiseries.
- Extremus: Volume 5
- Sundays
Monday, May 23, 2022
Sunday, May 22, 2022
The Advancement of Mateo Matic: April 6, 2395
Dalton Hawk looked different. Sure, his face was the same, and he was at
about the same age as he was when they last saw him, but he held himself
differently. He stood up straighter, which made it all the more interesting
that he was also carrying a cane. Upon closer inspection, they saw that this
was unlike any cane any of them had seen before. A humongous diamond was
affixed to the top of it. Leona realized as he was walking towards them,
though, that she had indeed seen it before, just not in its completed form.
A long time ago, Dilara Cassano, a.ka. The Arborist asked her and her then
team to procure the diamond for them as payment. She used her ability to
muster a version of Horace Reaver from an old timeline, along with Lincoln
Rutherford as a bonus. They were both apparently paradoxed out of reality
after the former deliberately erased Tristesse Ulinthra from all histories.
“You can?” Mateo asked. “Aren’t you just a body hopper? I mean, I don’t mean
to say that’s all you are, but...”
“It’s fine,” Dalton promises, “no offense taken. And no, I don’t have that
ability anymore; not since I was reborn from the afterlife simulation.”
“What can you do now?” Leona asked.
Dalton spun his fancy cane like a professional baton twirler. He ended by
moderately gently dropping it on the floor, where it stood up to gravity. “I
can’t do anything, but I can use this.”
“What can it do?” Angela pressed.
“It invokes and harnesses a special flavor of temporal energy. I should be
able to send you anywhere, anywhen. Or I could give you powers, take them
away, saddle you with a time affliction. I could theoretically rewrite
reality to my will.”
“What do you do with it?” Olimpia questioned, worried.
“Nothing much so far,” Dalton answered. “I’m still figuring out how it
works. It comes with a learning curve, and a downside.”
“Doesn’t everything?” Ramses asked rhetorically.
“I can’t use it on myself,” Dalton explained. “Well, I could, but then I
would lose the cane, because someone else would have to do it for me. My arm
doesn’t reach that far.” He demonstrated the idea by holding the cane from
the bottom, and trying to point the diamond at himself. Humans weren’t
anatomically set up for that. The thing was too long.
The Presidents and Vice Presidents looked amongst each other. “We don’t know
who he is,” Skylar told the team. “We’re assuming he’s good people because
of your reception of him, but could you confirm that?”
Leona shrugged. “We don’t really know him that well, but he seems cool.”
“We can help you then,” Lucy said. “Have you tried reflecting the energy off
of a mirror?”
“Yes, I have,” Dalton replied. “It just consumes the mirror. It doesn’t care
that it’s reflective.”
“Our mirrors are different,” Oliver told him. “If we were to be transported
to the barrier at the edge of the metro, we could show you right now.”
They took each other’s hands, and teleported to Stilwell, Kansas. It sat on
the southernmost edge of the dimensional bubble they were in. Beyond this
was nothing, or maybe they just couldn’t get to it. The team had never
actually questioned anybody what happened if they tried to cross over.
Surely someone had tried in the last 370 years. It was weird to see. The
barrier was a mirror, just as Oliver had described it. They could watch
themselves as if they were in a giant dance studio. The image faded as they
looked upwards, and eventually gave way to the sky and clouds.
“It goes all around,” Kostya explained. “It used to be the entire dome. You
could stand here and watch things happening miles and miles away, on the
other side of hills and buildings. We don’t know who did it, but we don’t
think it was the man who made the snowglobe itself. We think one day the
reflection will disappear completely, and we’ll be able to expand beyond the
borders.”
“Some people think that,” Oliver contested. “It’s kind of a religious
thing.”
“How do you know that this will reflect temporal energy,” Dalton asked.
“We’ve seen it before,” Skylar answered. “That’s all we’re gonna say about
it.”
Dalton smiled with little confidence. “I’ve sat through trigonometry class
multiple times.” He turned his cane, and aimed it at the barrier. A blast of
energy came out of it, bounced off of the barrier, and landed in Olimpia’s
chest. She disappeared.
“You better have sent her somewhere safe,” Angela warned.
“I did. The only question was whether the reflection would work.” With that,
he shot her with energy too. He then proceeded to do the same for Marie,
Ramses, Leona, and finally Mateo.
Mateo woke up on the ground. He didn’t think it was possible to be knocked
unconscious in this new body, but then again, temporal energy was probably
some pretty powerful stuff. He got himself to his feet, and looked around.
No one else was there; not Leona, nor anyone else. He was completely alone
in the middle of a field. He gazed up at the sky, and saw the stars, but
there was something odd about them. He kept staring, looking for what was
wrong. As he adjusted his angle, he realized that there was a slight
distortion in the light coming down from them. The sky wasn’t perfectly
transparent. A dimensional barrier was between the land and the heavens. He
was still in the Fourth Quadrant. What evil trickery was this?
Before he could teleport to civilization, to figure out what was going on,
he felt something wrap itself around his waist. He looked down to find a
lasso, or perhaps a whip. It tugged him backwards, through a tunnel of
flashing lights. He landed on his feet when it stopped, but couldn’t get rid
of the momentum without falling on his ass. It didn’t really hurt, though.
Ramses reached down, and helped him off the floor.
“Where are we?” Mateo asked.
“The Parallel. I’ve been here since yesterday.”
“What’s yesterday?” Mateo went on.
“It’s just been a day for me. Whatever Dalton did, he sent us to different
points in spacetime; I believe to different realities. I came here last
year. You were simply thrown forwards in time one year. The others are
elsewhere.”
“Elsewhere,” Mateo echoed. “Elsewhere is where?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m still looking into it.” Ramses turned and addressed a
woman who had been watching them. “There’s your proof of concept. Please
allow me to seek the others.”
She seemed very unappreciative of their inconvenient situation. “We will not
allow you to travel through time...in any reality. We will let you seek the
others, but you must wait until you catch up to them on your own before you
may bring them here.”
“What if they’re not on our pattern anymore?” Ramses tried to reason. “What
if they’re a day behind, or a day ahead, or centuries in the past? What if
we never catch up to them?”
“We will not allow you to travel through time,” she repeated like a robot.
“You must wait until you catch up to them on your own.”
“Real mature, asshole,” Ramses said. “He pulled one device off the counter
between them, and handed it to Mateo. He then grabbed the second device.
“What are these?” Mateo asked him as he was following his friend out of the
room.
“What you’re holding is basically a kin detector. Obviously we all have
unique DNA, but the way I engineered our clones was consistent across the
six of us. That thing will alert us when it senses another one of us in the
same moment of time. It even works across realities.”
Mateo flipped a switch on the side of the detector. An alarm started to
blare, and until Ramses could take it away from him, and turn it off, Mateo
thought he was going to lose his hearing.
“Sorry, I should have said don’t push any buttons.”
“Does that mean someone else is here?”
“No, it’s still not calibrated to ignore you,” Ramses replied. “That’s why
it was so loud, because you’re so close to it.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“But we don’t know when we’re gonna find the others. Maybe never.”
“This universe is not exactly a unified empire. We’ll find someone who can
help us eventually, I promise you that. I would modify it myself, but it is
so far beyond me, Matty, like you don’t even know.”
“Why did Dalton do this to us?”
“I don’t know that it was on purpose. He may have looked confident, but I
could see anxiety in his eyes. He had little experience with that cane.
There’s every chance the first time he tried to use it had somehow
backfired, and trapped him in the Fourth Quadrant in the first place. We
should have talked to him more.”
The two of them were given a full suite to stay in, but they ended up just
sleeping in the same bed, so they could both hear the alarm. Neither knew
how faint the volume would be once it did go off. Ramses said it could even
potentially be infrasonic. Of course, that was a relative term for them now.
They were capable of seeing a wider range of frequencies on the light
spectrum, and of hearing a wider range of sound frequencies. Also due to
their new bodies, they didn’t need to sleep much, but they did need a
little. Their skin could absorb and convert solar radiation into chemical
energy, but as it was organic, it was only so efficient at this conversion.
They woke up a couple of hours later, fully rested. The friend detector log
did not indicate that they had missed their window. It was still April 6,
2395, at least inasmuch as that meant anything in this reality. “Can we go
anywhere in the universe, or do we have to remain close to Earth?”
“Comparatively speaking, it shouldn’t matter too much,” Ramses answered.
“Other realities are further away than you or even I could fathom. Plus, we
don’t know where Dalton might have sent them. It could be Earth, or
somewhere else. Why? Was there somewhere you wanted to go?”
“I was just thinking about checking in on Flindekeldan. I know it’s stupid,
but I’m feeling a little nostalgic.”
“Better leave them out of it. Besides, that’s particularly far away. In no
other reality is that populated. I doubt anyone’s that far out, and we don’t
need to test the limits of this thing.”
“I understand.”
“As do I,” came the voice of another Ramses. He hadn’t bothered to knock on
the door. He waltzed right into the bedroom, and outstretched his arm.
“Pleased to meet you, Ramses, I’m Parallel!Ramses.”
“Likewise,” Ramses said rather unconvincingly, but surely rather
innocuously. “Here but for the lid of Schrödinger’s box stand I.”
Parallel!Ramses chuckles. “If that’s the way you wanna look at it, then I
won’t try to stop you.”
“Oh, I’m sure you understand it better,” Ramses said, worshiping him with a
wave of his arms. “We’re not worthy.” It was starting to look a lot less
playful.
“I just wanted to make sure these accommodations are too your liking,”
Parallel!Ramses began. “I see that you two have finally hooked up. I always
thought it might happen.”
Mateo looked back at the bed, and then over at his Ramses. “Really?”
“He’s messing with you.” Ramses retrieved the friend detector from the
nightstand. “This thing is amazing, but I have feedback.”
“And I would love to hear it,” Parallel!Ramses lied. “Unfortunately, I have
a lot of work to do. It’s a big universe out there, you understand.”
Ramses squinted at his alternate self. “I always knew I would become
you...if I ever got power. That’s why I try to stay away from it.”
Parallel!Ramses glided back towards the door. “It would seem as though you
chose wisely.” He left.
“Well,” Mateo said awkwardly. “That was a pointless conversation.”
“He was trying to gloat,” Ramses said, still staring at the space his alt
once occupied. “He thinks he’s finally won.”
“Has he not? He has all that power. I don’t want to compare the two of you,
but if this really is all you ever wanted...”
Ramses finally looked over at his friend. “He doesn’t have everything he
wanted. He barely has anything. He doesn’t have you and Leona. He believes
that these arbitrarily restricted devices will keep us from ever getting out
of this reality. He believes you’re stuck here with him.”
“Are we?”
Ramses rifled through his bag until he found his toolkit. He removed one
small tool, and flipped it in the air before catching it again. He used it
to pry the casing off of the lasso dimensional extraction device. “We’re not
just gonna bring our friends here. We’re gonna go to them, and even if we
end up in a reality not of our choosing, we’ll be together.”
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Saturday, May 21, 2022
Extremus: Year 45
The Kaiora Leithe that is still around and running Extremus is technically
eighteen months old. She was cloned into existence back in December of 2312.
But of course, that’s not how it works; not in this case. As she has all of
the original’s memories, she’s actually 41 years old. This is where the
problem lies. Cloning is a delicate process. The safest and healthiest way
to do it would be to let the body grow at its normal rate. It’s generally
accepted that a biological human specimen is at their peak physical
condition in their twenties. At least that used to be the standard. With
life extension technologies, and other biomedical advances, that number is
essentially meaningless, but all things being equal, this is when it
happens. Present-day culture tends to favor age 24, so that’s become the
sort of default target for most of these such endeavors. Life expectancy
runs to about 108 these days, which means if an individual wants to survive
by transferring their consciousness to a clone, they should begin the
process by the time they’re 83, to account for prenatal development. And
some people do do this. In lieu of transhumanistic implants, they choose to
stay young by body-hopping, which is perfectly okay if that’s their thing.
But again, the best way to do it is by waiting patiently. Kaiora did not
have this luxury.
They needed a way to draw at least one of the impostors out, and their means
of accomplishing this was to turn Kaiora into one of them. Or a pair,
rather, because both of them were legitimately real. Their plan did not
work. No one revealed themselves as impostors, either because they knew this
was all a trick, or because they didn’t realize there were two Kaioras. Or
maybe they just needed more time, which the original Kaiora wasn’t able to
give them. Kaiora!Clone wasn’t able to get any decent information out of
Elodie or Greenley, but her original disappeared, with the implication being
that she was never going to return. So the clone took over all duties, and
basically went back to the way things were. Except it hasn’t been that easy.
Kaiora!Clone is sick, and it’s because she was produced too quickly, and
possibly also because the people who did it do not stand at the top of their
fields.
Dr. Ima Holmes stares at the results, baffled and horrified. This is the
woman she loves. They’ve been together for the last six years. How could she
not know? How could she not have realized? She doesn’t have a normal weapon,
because this is an infirmary, but she does have binding gel. It’s a special
solution that seals up wounds, and fosters a rapid healing process in
patients. It’s perfectly safe to use anywhere on the body...except for the
eyes. She picks it up, and trains it on Kaiora!Clone’s face. She has to
stand real close, because the delivery instrument wasn’t designed with
distance in mind. She’s also not a fighter, so her hands are shaking, and
she probably doesn’t have the nerve to do it. After all, this faker looks
exactly like her girlfriend. “Who are you?”
“Ima, relax.”
“If you were my Kaiora, you would know that I hate when people tell me
that!”
“Please quiet down, someone will hear you,” Kaiora begs.
“And what would be so bad about that?”
“They wouldn’t understand. I’m hoping you will.”
“Who...are you?” Ima repeats.
“I’m a duplicate.”
“No doy.” That’s a funny thing for a doctor to say.
“I mean...I’m a copied consciousness,” she clarifies. “I am Kaiora Leithe.”
Ima loosens her elbows, but doesn’t drop the impromptu weapon. “How do I
know that? How can you prove it? Say something only she would know.”
“That test doesn’t actually work,” Kaiora explains. “If you have the ability
to map and copy a person’s mind, you necessarily have the technology to read
it, and capture any data you need to impersonate the victim. You taught me
that.”
Ima loosens up a little more. She did say that to her at one point. “Okay,
then why. Why do this?”
“Because there are impostors on this ship, and we’re trying to root them
out.”
“You and the other you are doing this?”
“Us, and a secret team of quarantined experts. Though, expert is a strong
word.”
“Obviously! Look at you, you’re dying!”
“Shh.”
“Don’t shush me. You’re not Kaiora.”
“I am.”
“Identity means one.”
“I think we both know it’s more complicated than that. Are you the same
person you were fifty years ago? Five years? Five seconds? Everyone is
always changing—”
“...down the river of uninterrupted experience and atomic transposition.
Yes, I taught you that too. I just...feel violated.”
Kaiora takes Ima’s hand in both of hers, but makes no move to take the
binding gun. “I remember when we met. I remember when I professed my love to
you. I don’t mean I recall the story. It happened to me, and I still feel
it. I’m just in a new body, that’s the only difference.”
Ima gently pulls away, and carefully sets the gun down. “Where’s the other
one? Where’s the one who’s in the body I’m familiar with?”
Kaiora hesitates to answer.
“Tell me!”
“I don’t know! She disappeared. She went off on some secret mission.”
Ima begins to pace, and itch herself out of stress. “Why didn’t you tell
me?”
“She didn’t tell me where she was going, or even that she was leaving at
all. I only found out because I went back to the secret quarantine section
for a periodic check-in, and realized that something was up. She had been
gone for a week by then.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Fourteen months.”
“Jesus Christ. My girlfriend’s been dead for over a year, and I didn’t
know.”
“We don’t know that she’s dead. And I’m your girlfriend. I’m just as much
her.”
“Oh, yeah? You’ve been sleeping next to me for fourteen months, right?”
“I have.”
“And what about before that? Did you two share me?”
Kaiora hesitates to answer again.
“This isn’t gonna work if you’re gonna hold things back. Spit it out.”
“No. I...I didn’t touch you. Our cabin door is a portal. If I punch in a
special code, instead of unlocking it, it will open that portal, and
transport me to a dark and unused area of the ship. Even someone in the
hallway watching me step over the threshold would think I just went inside.
But I slept elsewhere, alone.”
“So for however long after you were created, we weren’t together. And then
you assumed the responsibility of being the love of my life, only because
you happened to be the only one left.”
“Well, yeah, if you wanna twist it up like that, you can make it sound
horrific.”
“It is horrific! My girlfriend is dead, and I barely know you.”
“That’s not true. I explained, I’m a copy.”
“But when we had conversations that stemmed from moments we shared months
prior, you didn’t know what I was talking about, so you had to guess.”
Kaiora sighs. “Yes, there were times I was a bit lost, and I had to use
context clues to fill in the blanks.”
“The first time we met, our relationship started with a lie, because you
told me the reason I hadn’t seen you in a week was because you were so busy
with confidential stuff in the Bridger section.”
“Again, that’s not when we first met.”
Ima starts to shake her head. “I knew this wouldn’t work out. You’re too
much younger than me. You’re too young. And now it’s even truer, because
you’re, like...” She looks back at the results real quick. “Eighteen months
old. My God, I’m a pedophile.”
“Don’t say that, goddamn. That’s not how it works, I’m not a baby!”
“That’s something a baby would say.”
“No, she wouldn’t!”
Ima takes off her reading glasses, and rubs the bridge of her nose. “I know.
This is just...a lot.”
“I know,” Kaiora echoes.
“I feel like I just lost someone. The fact that you’re...it doesn’t mean I
didn’t lose her.”
“I know,” she repeats.
“Will we ever see her again?”
“Looking at the future is illegal.”
“So is this.”
“It’s not,” Kaiora assures her. “We covered our asses.”
“No, you didn’t,” Ima counters. “Kaiora Leithe was selected as Captain of
this ship, based on that river of uninterrupted experience we were talking
about earlier. When she was cloned, her river continued as it normally
would, but you’re not on this same river. That moment was a conflux, which
branched out into something new. You are not the captain.”
“I would hardly think of it this way.”
“The crew might disagree.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing you’re going to tell anybody about it.”
Ima shakes her head at the tablet. “I have to report this. You’re not fit
for duty until we figure out how to repair the cellular damage. Normally,
doctor-patient confidentiality would allow me to get by without explaining
thoroughly, but what little information I’m obligated to disclose is
probably enough for them to figure it out. This level and type of
degradation really only has one cause.”
“What exactly is that cause?”
“Kaiora, your body is aging rapidly. Outside, you’re still fine. For some
reason, the epidermis is hardier than other organs. But inside, you’re about
my age.”
“Perfect, that’s what we always wanted.”
“Don’t joke about this.”
“What’s the prognosis?”
“Kaiora, you need—”
“What’s the prognosis?” Kaiora interrupts. “Clone or no, I’m entitled to
bodily self-determination, and I deserve all pertinent data to make informed
decisions.”
“With proper treatment, ten years, but you would have to step down in order
to undergo such treatment. It’s pretty intense and involved.”
“What kind of treatment can you give me if I don’t step down?”
“Kaiora—” she tries to answer incorrectly again.
“What kind of treatment!”
“With regular injections, you could keep going for half that. You’ll be dead
in five years.”
Kaiora slides off the table, and strips off her gown. “I only need three
years and seven months.”
Ima tilts her head to consider this number. “No, you’re not going to just
stay alive until you can finish your shift. We’re fighting this. I might be
able to get more than ten years out of you, especially if we can find your
original. She can help. I mean a kidney transplant alone could give you
another extra year.”
She stops putting her clothes back on, and wraps Ima in an embrace. “I don’t
need eleven years. I need four. That’s all that matters.”
“Kai-kai, I can’t...outlive you?”
“In a couple, someone always outlives the other.”
Ima begins to cry. “But it’s not supposed to be me. I’m more than three
decades older, that’s preposterous.”
“You have more than eleven years out of you anyway,” Kaiora reasons.
“I really don’t. Especially not now. You know how many people decline and
die of a broken heart? It’s a lot more common than you think. The loss of a
significant other reduces life expectancy by an average of five years.”
“Five plus five is barely less than eleven. And let’s face it, we’re not
finding my original. So it’s back down to ten, so we would go out at the
same time.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Ima argues, “and these are just numbers. You
don’t have exactly ten years. I need to run more tests, and you have to not
give up. That will kill you faster than anything.”
“I love you too,” Kaiora says.
“I’m not there yet. This is still hard.”
“I understand.”
Kaiora puts her clothes back on and leaves the executive infirmary. That
went better than she thought, but it’s not over. No one else can find out.
She’ll be fine if she can’t be an admiral, but she can’t lose her seat
before her time. She can’t let what happened to Halan happen to her. It
would be a political tragedy. She realizes as she’s walking down the
hallways that there’s something very important she needs to start thinking
about now. Even if she weren’t dying, it’s about time for her to consider
who will succeed her. There are surely any number of amazing candidates at
the academy, or recently graduated, who would be great for the role. She’s
not been paying much attention to them, though, which is just another way
she’s not lived up to Halan’s example. It’s okay, she still has time; very
little of it after the diagnosis, but enough.
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Friday, May 20, 2022
Microstory 1890: Forced Pair
I was one of two new kids when my family moved to a new town for my fourth
year of primary school. I was nervous about fitting in, but I had no idea
how difficult it would be. The other kid was—for lack of a more reasonable
term—weird. He wore baggy pants, tight shirts, and a baseball cap that was
missing the bill. He had a strange way about him, and didn’t seem to
understand topical references. I was more or less normal. Quiet but
responsive; capable of smiling, but not overly bubbly. I should have found a
group of friends, and done so sooner than later. Probably because the
teacher sat the two of us next to each other, everybody got it in their
heads that we were friends. I didn’t know him, we had never met, and we
didn’t hang out, but they started calling us inseparable. No matter how hard
I tried, I couldn’t break free from this total misunderstanding. I suppose I
could have tried harder, but that would have required me to say mean things
about him, and I didn’t want to do that. He was an odd duck, but he was
gentle, and polite, and he didn’t deserve the ridicule. So I eventually let
it go, and decided things would get better when I was older. We were bound
to be placed in a different class the next year, and it would go away on its
own. I don’t know if the school caught wind of the rumor, or what, but
that’s not what happened. It would seem that we were stuck together, so if
my social life was going to be entirely dependent on this one person, I
figured I might as well get to know him. At least I would have someone to
talk to.
When asked about it, he would tell people that the cap was for religious
reasons. They still thought it was funny, but it stopped them from messing
around with it for fear of being labeled bigots. The truth was his parents
were conspiracy theorists, though they would never use this term; they
considered themselves believers. In particular, they believed in aliens,
telepathy, and telepathic aliens. They didn’t want nefarious forces to read
their minds, and they were under the impression that this special headwear
could protect them from the brain scanners. The inside was lined with
aluminum, which is a trick I recalled having heard of. But those were
usually crude and cheap-looking. His was smooth and well-tailored; his
parents had put some real time into constructing them. He wasn’t sure he
believed in all that stuff, but he didn’t want to upset them, so he did as
he was asked. We remained friends over the years, though we had to contrive
common interests at first. Eventually we formed a genuine relationship, and
I found myself feeling grateful that we met, and that the universe worked so
hard to pair us up, as unlikely as it seemed at first. We went to college at
an institution distant enough to allow him to stop wearing his hat, and it
was there that we learned better how to blend in with the crowd. We found
new friends, and our lives were good. There was never anything romantic
between us, but there was a strong financial connection. We both wanted to
be super rich, and to be in charge of a company. But what could we do? What
were we experts on? Aluminum foil hats? I know it sounds crazy, but yes! We
adapted the misguided paranoia into a lucrative business. You see, while
mind-reading isn’t real, electronic scanners are, and as the world was
becoming more and more reliant on digital technology, customers needed a way
to protect their data. They can do this using signal-blocking material. We
hold a number of patents for techniques that make this technology work. So
even if customers don’t buy directly from us, we still make money off of
nearly every sale. Who’s laughing now?
Thursday, May 19, 2022
Microstory 1889: No Way to Fail
The first thing I did when I became an adult was visit what you might call
an adult entertainment club. I struggled with getting dates, and I had never
done anything beyond kissing. Even that wasn’t all that great, but I still
wanted more. I was mostly just lonely, and if I had to pay to pretend for a
few minutes a week that I wasn’t, then that was what I would do. It became a
habit. I knew all the girls there, and they all knew me. They knew they
could trust me, and for a little bit extra cash, some of them decided that
it was okay if we took things to the next level. I was grateful and happy,
but then it all ended. The club installed security cameras in even what were
meant to be private areas, and suddenly, I wasn’t enjoying myself anymore.
The girls had to be really careful and distant, as did I. I stopped going to
that place. I was still pretty young, but I managed to get over my urges,
and lead a normal life without all that stuff. What I realized was that all
those conversations I had that I treated as superficial and fake were
preparing me for real relationships that were not transaction-based. I
jumped into the dating scene, and started looking for something real and
lasting. I had a few good girlfriends, but we always grew apart, at least in
such a way. I stayed friends with most of them, which a lot of people say
can’t be done, but I beg to differ. Even when we parted ways forever, I knew
their names, and I could have reconnected with them in some capacity later
on. The girls at the club, not so much. Some of them gave me their real
names, but I didn’t exactly check their papers, so even those could have
been fake too. One night, my buddy was getting married, so he needed a
bachelor party. His best friend ended up choosing my old club to go to,
which I didn’t think too much on, because it had been so long, and those
places have a lot of turnover, you know. I did recognize one girl there,
though.
I bought a dance with her for old time’s sake, but I was with someone at the
time, so I wasn’t interested in an actual dance. I just wanted to catch up.
She seemed stunned the whole time, which was odd. I wouldn’t have thought
she would remember me. She quit before the cameras, so it had been a
particularly long time. I tried to ask her questions about her life, but she
was being really cagey. That was odd too, because those girls are normally
good at lying just to keep the conversation going without giving any
personal details away. Eventually, however, I was able to get it out of her
that she had an eleven year old daughter, and there was a possibility that I
was the father. She would have contacted me sooner, but I stopped going to
the club by the time she took a test, and she couldn’t investigate further,
or her old bosses would have learned that we broke the rules. Due to her
religious beliefs—and because of the high expense back then—she couldn’t get
a DNA test for her daughter, but she showed me a picture of her. She looked
quite a bit like me, I mean, she had to be mine, right? DNA test or no, she
had to be my kid, and I had to do right by her. After some deeper
discussions, the mother let me meet our daughter, and we got to know each
other better. I took care of the both of them for years. My girlfriend broke
up with me because of it, so they ultimately just moved in. Once our
daughter became an adult herself, she decided she finally wanted that DNA
test. To our surprise, the result was negative. She was not my biological
daughter, and she was heartbroken. But I wasn’t. She is my daughter,
and nothing can change that. It’s actually a blessing, because the disease
that’s killing me today is hereditary.
Wednesday, May 18, 2022
Microstory 1888: Dead Army of Ants
I once worked in a cave. It was there that companies kept a great deal of
their legacy parts and equipment. This was for when they couldn’t sell them,
couldn’t reuse them, or just didn’t know how to get rid of them. It was a
convenient way to hold onto these things without them clogging up their
normal warehouses. Very, very occasionally, one of our clients would
send a request for a part to be picked, and it was my job to go do that. It
was an entirely different team that stored them on the racks in the first
place, but honestly, I don’t know why my specific job existed. Most of the
time, I just sat in the office, reading a good book. It was the easiest job
I had, comparatively speaking, and I only quit, because I needed to start a
family and the pay wasn’t enough to support this goal. It was perfect for me
alone, but not me with children. Besides, there were other reasons for me to
seriously consider a career. One day, I was finished with the only book I
brought with me that day, so I decided to go on a walk. It was surprisingly
clean for a cave, and set to a comfortable temperature, unlike what you may
be imagining. I ended up in a corner that I didn’t go to very often, because
the client who rented out that space didn’t ever need anything. I looked
down at my feet and saw an anthill in the crack of the cement. I looked over
a little, and saw another. And another, and another. The place was littered
with anthills, and rivers of ants traveling between them. I wanted to leave
them there, but taking care of the grounds was technically part of the job
description, so I had to report it. An exterminator came out to kill
everything, but what we learned he didn’t do was clean them up. So those ant
rivers were still there, they just weren’t moving. It was an army of dead
ants, and seeing their lifeless bodies lying there felt like an appropriate
metaphor for life. We were the ants.
They didn’t know that they were going to be wiped out, but they had a
concept for death. Or at least they had a concept for failure, or otherwise,
they would not have pursued their goals. When the spray came for them, they
didn’t scurry into their tunnels, or hold a conference about what to do.
They didn’t study the spray, or try to clean it off. They just kept going
until they succumbed to the toxin. I guess I don’t know that, I don’t know
how fast the spray worked. I just remember it being so surreal, staring at
that pile of death. Combined, the ants wouldn’t even make up the mass of a
single person, but from their perspective, it was a slaughter. It was
genocide. I started thinking about what sorts of things could come for the
human race. What kind of proverbial spray could wipe us out? Climate change?
Maybe. An asteroid, sure. Then I realized that the spray was a disease,
which could probably pretty easily spread from an infected ant to one which
had originally escaped the wrath of the nozzle. That could happen to us,
godlike exterminator not required. A pathogen could destroy us all, and
while doing it, leave everything we created intact. Even our bodies would
still be there, littering the streets, and our homes. So I went back to
school to ultimately seek a degree in epidemiology, so I could do everything
I could to prevent this eventuality. Though it started as a desperate whim,
it was the best decision I ever made. It’s where I met my future wife, and
an army of colleagues who all wanted the same thing. Once we graduated, we
went off to fight against what we believed to be the greatest threat our
species faced. Because we didn’t want to not see it coming. We didn’t want
to be ants anymore.
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
Microstory 1887: Feeling Poverty
Even though I grew up as the son of general store owners, I always felt
poor. I think it mostly had to do with the fact that we couldn’t afford the
time it would take to enjoy luxuries, like vacations, because someone always
had to be at the store. When mom and dad both retired, I took over fulltime,
and tried to put my snazzy business degree to good use. We expanded into the
empty unit next door to add more shelves, but I never thought to franchise
out, or do major advertising campaigns, or anything like that. I just wanted
us to be a little more comfortable, and work a little less. I ended up
hiring a larger staff than we ever had before, and spent less time there
personally. My children weren’t interested in helping out after serving
their part time sentences as middle school and high school students, and I
didn’t discourage them from pursuing their respective dreams. I ran a clean
business. I filed my taxes accurately and on time—or rather I paid the right
person to handle it all for me—and I treated my employees fairly. I also
kept my prices fairly low; not enough to dry out my profits, but enough to
support my community faithfully. Back in the late 1990s, this country
suffered a terrible economic depression. Inflation was at an all time high,
as was unemployment. Everyone was struggling, including us. But we did okay.
I didn’t have to let anyone go, I just had to raise my prices a tiny bit.
For some, that tiny bit was as vast as a canyon, and for the very worst off,
an untraversable one. People starved to death. My heart went out to them,
but I had to protect my own family. Still, I did what I could, instituting
promotions where possible, usually when a particular item was in higher than
normal supply. Even then, not everyone could afford to buy what they needed
to survive.
We had a couple of security cameras by then, but they weren’t exactly HD
quality. There were likely a number of instances of theft that went by
unnoticed. A box of cereal here, a can of soda there. It happens, and anyone
who runs retail just sort of has to accept the risk. One day, during this
depression, I was stocking an aisle with canned food when I noticed a
misplaced item. People do this all the time when they change their minds,
you’ve seen it. All I had to do was hop over to the next aisle over, and
reshelve it. I incidentally did this quite quietly, and happened to catch a
young woman sticking baby formula inside her stroller, right under her
baby’s legs. At that moment, we locked eyes, and she froze like a stunned
animal. I recognized her as a regular, and I’m pretty sure she knew that I
was the owner, and not just some minimum wage worker. All of those were on
the younger side of the spectrum. I didn’t know what to say as we stared at
each other, so I ended up not saying anything. I cleared my throat, shelved
the item in its place, and walked away. I don’t know what was going through
her head, but she probably had her own internal debate about what to do. In
the end, she left with what she needed, and only actually paid for a carton
of milk. Years later, she returned to my store in tears. I had seen her many
times since the incident, and we never spoke of it, so I’m not sure what had
changed, but she wanted to apologize. She wasn’t the real mother. She was
actually the sister, and their mother had died, which was why she wasn’t
producing breast milk. I told her it didn’t matter. The kid needed food, the
kid got food; end of story, no apology necessary. I wasn’t able to help much
during the depression, but I was able to help this one person on that one
day. I guess it will have to do.
Monday, May 16, 2022
Microstory 1886: Gone Away
I spent years looking for a decent job after high school. I mean, based on
my skill set, I had a number of okay ones over the years, but none that
would really support me the way I felt I deserved. When I did get that job,
I was cheated out of some of what I was owed. It came with two weeks of
vacation time, but in order to save money, my supervisor chose to not inform
me of this fact. He went even further than that by claiming that I didn’t
qualify for time off under this and that policy. When his boss found out,
she was livid. By then, I had worked for the company for eleven years, which
meant I actually should have started getting four weeks off per year.
Normally, they didn’t carry over, but through some maneuvering, they gave
them to me all at once. That was a total of nineteen weeks when all added
up. The only thing was that I had to take them off by the end of the current
year. Which essentially meant I had to leave right away. In fact, she tacked
on an extra week to round out the number, and just not have me come back in
until January of the next year. What was I going to do with all that time?
It was over four and a half months. I wasn’t making a whole lot of money, so
it’s not like that freed me up to go on a cross country tour, or a cruise.
The best idea I had was to go visit my cousins who lived on the border. I
didn’t get a chance to see them very much, so this was a great opportunity
for a cheap, but still relaxing, sabbatical. I didn’t sublet my little
house, because that wasn’t really a thing in the region. I just locked it up
and left. I did ask my neighbor to bring my trash cans back up to the house
one last time, which he agreed to do with a smile. I had my mail forwarded,
and went on my way.
When I came back, the place was dusty as hell, but everything was otherwise
fine. The trash cans were where they were meant to be, and some mail was
already waiting for me in my normal box, as planned. I still had that last
week of time off, so it was time to clean up. I used a lot of disinfecting
wipes. Plus, there was some fruit in the fridge that I forgot to toss. And a
loaf of bread in the pantry. And some other food in the fridge. Okay, it was
a mess, but that’s not the point. The point is I had to gather all that up,
and take it out to my cans. At first when I opened the lid, I didn’t know
what I was looking at. I was in such shock, I couldn’t process it. I didn’t
scream, or jump back in horror. I just stared at the body, trying to piece
together what it was. Only after I realized the truth did the smell hit me.
It should have been my first clue, I don’t know why it waited so long to
waft up to my nose, but I did have to slam the lid shut, and step back. I
still didn’t scream, though. I’m not that kind of girl. Assuming that I
would be prime suspect, I contacted the authorities, and let them come out
and investigate. To my surprise, they didn’t even consider me as the
culprit. Even before they had all this evidence with my mail forwarding, and
corroboration from my cousins, and other people, they believed me that I
wasn’t the murderer. By the way, the victim was my neighbor, and they said
he had been stuffed in there for about four and a half months, which
suggested the killer did the deed around the time he was trying to help me
out. I had to move, which was fine, because I was fired after three days of
missing my return to work due to the trauma. I just couldn’t live in that
house anymore, and I had encountered a few originally ignored job
opportunities where my cousins lived, so I figured I could just go straight
back. That was almost four decades ago. They never found the killer.
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