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Monday, April 24, 2017

Microstory 566: Experiments Increase Animal Intelligence

In a massive violation of ethics, the company UI has been performing illegal experiments on animals. Detectives of Science raided and “off the books” laboratory literally located underground two days ago. There they found a menagerie of animals of When detectives first entered the area, they knew that something was different. With all the ruckus they were created, one would have expected the animals there to be stressed out and frantic, but this was not the case. Some of them were sitting in their cages patiently, others appeared to have a look of desperation on their faces. Some even seemed to be making attempts to communicate. After some interrogation, and investigation into the lab research, the SDS learned that the facility was designed to find ways of uplifting animal intelligence. The scientists there were attempting to increase animal intelligence enough to create entire new species, supposedly so they could live amongst humans as equals. Its leader, whose name has not yet been released, had the following to say:

I consider myself neither a criminal, nor a villain...and I regret nothing. My team and I were trying to do something amazing, to create new friends, with new perspectives. We wanted to truly share this world with the other creatures here. Perhaps then we would think twice about all that we do to destroy it. Pollution, logging, overpopulation. We’ve tried to stop these, the true crimes, but never to any success. Maybe if people could talk to the animals that were being affected by this, they would start looking for better ways to live, and stop harming our beautiful planet. I cannot speak to the others, but I can tell you that this does nothing to dissuade my position on the matter. I wholeheartedly believe in the work, and I hope that someday, someone else will feel the same way, and continue pursuing my vision.
No word yet as to what will happen with the animals they have already undergone the experiments. Experts do not believe that it would be too dangerous to try and reintroduce them into their natural habitats. Even though no animal exhibits human-level intelligence, each one would have trouble acclimating to their respective traditional social hierarchies. In other terms, an enhanced goat would not be able to live with other goats, because it understands too much, and would use its intelligence in unpredictable ways. Detectives are also unsure what would happen if the enhanced began to bred with the unenhanced, or even each other. Beyond biological ramifications, would a superintelligent animal–standard animal pairing be analog to beastiality? This is an important question to explore, even if it’s decided that all animals experimented on should remain in some kind of quarantine. One of the cages was found to be compromised, with a hole leading from it, to the outside world. It is unknown at this time when it happened, but it is evident that the wolves found a way to escape captivity, and reenter the world. Another team is presently searching for them in the nearby wilderness. President of UI, Isilda Kenson had this to say about them, and the lab as a whole:

I would like to make it clear that UI does not condone the actions carried out by this renegade faction of scientists. We want to assure the public that neither the board, nor anyone in the greater organization, had any idea that these experiments were going on. We will work tirelessly with the authorities to pursue criminal charges against these rogue scientists, as well as help find the missing wolfs [sic].

So far, no charges are being brought against UI itself, but authorities are operating on the assumption that this was not actually a rogue group, and was fully sanctioned by the UI board. We will update this story as necessary.

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