Friday, February 14, 2020

Microstory 1300: Nick Fisherman by Tavis Highfill

Tavis Highfill: Thank you for coming in. I know it’s easy for us to meet up with each other, since we share the same body, but it’s not often that we interact so directly.
Nick Fisherman: Thank you for having me.
Tavis: Now, you’re working on a new project, correct?
Nick: Yes. It’s a series called Interview Transcripts. I’ll be posting one each weekday, all the way through June, and then some.
Tavis: Tell me a little bit about that.
Nick: June?
Tavis: The interview transcripts. Are these real transcripts from real interviews between real people?
Nick: Absolutely not. I could not, and would not, betray someone’s privacy like that.
Tavis: So, where are they coming from?
Nick: My mindbrain.
Tavis: What the hell is a mindbrain?
Nick: It’s the hypothetical source of an original thought.
Tavis: I see. That sounds stupid.
Nick: Well, you came up with it, so...
Tavis: Are these going to be job interviews, or celebrity interviews, or what?
Nick: Yes, and yes, plus a lot of other things. I broke them down into eleven categories: employment, celebrity, journalistic, psychology, survey, police, court, college, clearance, suitability, library reference; in that order. There will be fourteen job interviews, but only four library reference interviews.
Tavis: What the hell is a library reference interview?
Nick: I don’t remember.
Tavis: ...
Nick: I’ll figure it out.
Tavis: Is this a fixed format, or can you adjust?
Nick: I can adjust, if necessary; for instance, if I can’t figure out how to write an intriguing enough suitability interview—let alone five of them.
Tavis: Are these going to be very good?
Nick: Probably not. But that’s not the point of my website. These are all experimental. Anyone can write seven books about a boy wizard, or three vampire fanfics. I’m not at all saying I’m the best writer in the world, but I do take risks, and I don’t worry about whether it ends up being good or not, because the experience alone makes it worthwhile.
Tavis: Is there anything else you would like your audience to know?
Nick: Ha! What audience!
Tavis: You know what I mean.
Nick: Yes. [Leans in real close] King Dumpster’s senate acquittal doesn’t mean he’s fit to maintain his seat. Vote him out in November. Thank you, and enjoy the series.

EDIT: These aren’t necessarily going to be entire interview transcripts. Some can be hella long, and ain’t nobody got time for that. If it looks like I ended the story without a conclusion, I guess we call that an interview excerpt? You’ll be okay.

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