Law Enforcement Officer: Hello, can I help you?
Supposed Psychic: Actually, it is I who can help you.
Law Enforcement Officer: Do you have a crime to report?
Supposed Psychic: Not exactly, but if you provide me with a little
information, I’m sure I can come up with something.
Law Enforcement Officer: I’m sorry?
Supposed Psychic: Oh, forgive me. My name is Supposed Psychic, and I am a
psychic.
Law Enforcement Officer: You’re a psychic?
Supposed Psychic: That’s right. Now, I’m sure you don’t believe in people
like me—
Law Enforcement Officer: No, it’s not that. I believe there is more to this
world than science can explain, but you’re going to have to prove to me that
you’re someone who can tap into these truths. I can’t just take your word
for it, and hand you off to the detectives. They would laugh me out of the
station. So you’re going to have to prove it somehow.
Supposed Psychic: I can most certainly do that.
Law Enforcement Officer: Go ahead.
Supposed Psychic: I can’t just do it on command. I would need to shadow you
for some time, and pick up on energies. Visions don’t come to me
automagically. Something I see or hear has to trigger it.
Law Enforcement Officer: You want me to show you confidential police files?
Supposed Psychic: Only if you want to solve them.
Law Enforcement Officer: Okay. You can sit in here for a few minutes. I have
to find the right file; one that can do no harm in your hands.
Supposed Psychic: Okay.
Law Enforcement Officer: [...] All right. Here we go. This should be fairly
harmless. Here we have a picture of a tow truck driver who has been stealing
cars all over the suburbs. His truck doesn’t have any markings, and this is
the best photo of him, so we don’t know much. If you can tell us who he is
and/or where to find him, I’ll consider telling my superiors about your
abilities.
Supposed Psychic: Hmm.
Law Enforcement Officer: Do you need—
Supposed Psychic: Shh.
Law Enforcement Officer: Okay.
Supposed Psychic: [...] This is a fake. The man’s name is Tow Truck Driver
Jr. Your car broke down four days ago, and he’s the guy who showed up when
you called for help. You were charged seventeen dollars on a bill you
believe the roadside assistance company you used should have covered in
total. You were pleasantly surprised that your engine needed more work
anyway, and it could have been much worse if you hadn’t needed service that
day.
Law Enforcement Officer: Anything else?
Supposed Psychic: No, that’s about it. Do I have the job?
Law Enforcement Officer: You absolutely do not.
Supposed Psychic: What are you talking about? I gave you a good reading.
Just because it wasn’t a case, doesn’t mean I didn’t prove myself.
Law Enforcement Officer: I posted all that information on social media. I
don’t remember what the driver’s name was, so who knows where you’re getting
that? I saw you standing in the lobby, pretending to be looking at the
public bulletin board, but really you were just waiting for me to walk by,
because I was your mark all along. I don’t know what you’re really after,
but you’re not getting a look at our cases.
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