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All of my interviews today went pretty well. Most of the interviewers went
into it under the assumption that everything on my blog is true, and I am
indeed from another universe, allowing me to answer questions about my past
experiences in the workforce that didn’t take place in this particular
force. They even let me bring up things that I know about my alternate self,
who has gone on to have new experiences since we diverged from each other. A
few of them were clearly not a good fit for me. I don’t have the skills or
education relevant to do the work effectively. I’ll say this, even though
it’s a little mean, one of them was obviously confused about what the word
“remote” means. No, I can’t go into the office twice a week. That is called
a hybrid schedule, and it’s only for local workers. They’re in Utah. I’m not
flying down to Utah just so I can remind you that my body extends beyond the
lower portion of my chest. I don’t want to go to Utah for any reason.
He couldn’t really explain why he ever wanted me to be there in person. They
never can—not even just in terms of these interviews, but in general.
Companies are losing money on office space by letting people work from home,
so to get a better return on their investment, they artificially limit the
practice, but they can’t admit that it’s because of that, so they sort of
waffle, and come up with bogus reasons about it being better for
productivity. Unless you’re in sales (or maybe even if you are) being at
work in person for a job that’s performed exclusively on the computer is
simply not necessary. Most of the interviewers seemed to understand that,
and are eager to draw from a pool of talent outside of a reasonable driving
distance. I can’t tell you any specifics about who I spoke with, or who I’m
leaning towards. I never will.
All but one of the people I talked to who were still interested after we got
past some of these other miscommunications understood that I’m never going
to stop blogging. If I end up taking their job, they’ll let me say whatever
I want as long as I don’t name names, or place any of their customers
or clients in any sort of risk. They’ve all seen that I’ve never done that
before. Honest hour? As honest as I am on this thing, I sometimes adjust
details to protect the innocent, or even the guilty. I’ve been known to
spend hours coming up with a fictional company that I mention only once in a
story just to avoid using a brand name. That policy has extended into
writing about myself. I’m not making any commitments yet, I’m still weighing
my options. Two interviewers had to schedule for tomorrow, and another one
had to reschedule for tomorrow, so I still have three more companies
to consider, and who still need to consider me. Once those are done, I’ll
use my pros and cons charts to organize my choices from most preferred to
least interested, and go from there. There’s a chance that the search could
go into next week, but I hope to have at least one good offer by then. They
were all pretty certain that they would be ready to get started quickly, so
I’m figuring only a couple of weeks before I clock in for the first time.
One last thing, I’m scheduled to meet my parole officer on Friday. He or she
will escort me to the jail for the first time since orientation, not because
they don’t trust me, but because it’s procedure for them to personally
inspect the facility for the safety of those in their care. They’re either
still deciding who will be assigned my case, or they’re just not ready to
tell me yet. I’ll let you know how that all goes too.
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