Friday, April 12, 2024

Microstory 2125: Is Forever

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Today was the day that I finally met my parole officer. Now, if you’re reading this from my Earth, which you would only be able to do if my alternate self decided to copy my story onto his own version of the blog, you might be confused. There’s a chance that he’s doing that, I don’t know. If he can still see me in this universe, I still can’t see him, so he wouldn’t be able to get me a message. But if he is doing this, and that’s where you are, then you may be wondering why I have a parole officer. Parole officers are meant to be assigned after someone has gone to prison, and gotten out early. Well, you see, technically that’s exactly what I did. Legally speaking, I was sentenced to three months of prison time. I’m not talking about intermittent jail here. This was a real prison where I should have served time without getting out until I was up for parole. It just so happened that my parole came up immediately, so I didn’t have to actually spend any time in the building. It’s a technicality. Though I never stepped one foot inside, on paper, I was sent to prison, so I’m still entitled to—and am indeed required to meet with—a parole officer while I complete the rest of my sentence, which includes weekend jail. Yes, there was a reason for this. The record shows that I was sent through processing, and had all the paperwork filled out, to inhabit a facility somewhere down south in Missouri. This all comes from a bunch of legal complexities that my attorneys handled for me, but it boils down to minimum sentences, and loopholes that allowed me to subvert those minimums. The reason they did this for me is that, not only did I aid in the recovery of a kidnap victim, but my actions eventually led to the arrest of the suspects. I didn’t know that last part before. They talked about it behind closed doors due to the sensitivity of the case. So you can all rest, assured that the ID makers who committed that crime are being served justice as we speak. All I know is that it’s a federal case, because the girl originated from a state other than Iowa, so someone had to cross a border at some point.

These are all the things that my parole officer explained to me at lunch. I always thought it was weird that I was getting a parole officer, instead of a probation officer, but I don’t know all that much about law and order on any world. He is as cool as I imagined he would be. He’s not one of those types who thinks that anyone who has ever committed a crime is a lifelong criminal, and should be locked up for the duration of that identification. He takes each of his parolees on a case-by-case basis, and says that he modifies his attitude to whatever he thinks will work best for each. He’s even told me that I’m free to reveal to the public what his name is. So here it goes. I’m about to say it. He’s watching me write this, and I’m sure he’ll watch me post it too, so I’m giving him ample opportunity to change his mind. No? In three, two, one. Just a second, he twitched. No, it was a coincidence. Okay, here it is. Leonard Miazga. He has had a long and storied history so far, but I won’t get into all that today, partially because I don’t remember all of it. He smiled and left, and I can’t recall everything he told me about himself. This also means that he won’t be able to stop me from telling you his name anymore. Hopefully he doesn’t change his mind after it posts, because the internet is forever. As for the lunch itself, it was really good. I’m pretty sure he paid for it out of his own pocket, and it’s not something that he can bill to the state. If we ever dine again on another day, I’ll pick up the tab. I got one job offer while we were at the table. If nothing else comes in, I’ll definitely take it, and I may even if all of the other potential employers respond positively. We’ll just have to see. I’m going to try to not make any big life decisions at the end of the week because of the whole jail thing. Tuesdays. Tuesdays are a good day, particularly for me. You don’t ever want to deal with such things at the end or the beginning of a given time period, and Tuesdays are just random enough to work. Anyway, I’m going to take a shower, and get ready to go back inside. Leonard will come back in an hour and a half to drive me down there. I’ll see you Monday, but only if you comment below, and even then, not really. Don’t you hate when TV hosts say that? “We’ll see you tomorrow.” It’s, you won’t. That’s not how TV works. Maybe that’s just me.

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