Microstory 2333: Vacuus, January 15, 2179

< > Table of Contents

Generated by Google ImageFX text-to-image AI software, powered by Imagen 3

Dear Condor,

That’s great news about the trade deal going through. I would be interested to know more about your floating dome, and how it’s navigated through the waters. It seems like something large enough to fit as many people as you seem to have in your population would move really slowly. As far as dad is concerned, you can give him my contact information. The way I see it, he has to take the first steps to building a relationship with me, not the other way around. If he never sends me a message, then so be it. But I’m not going to write the first letter, and then sit here in anticipation of a reply. Thank you for asking, it was very thoughtful of you, and of him. So yes, go ahead and tell him how to get a hold of me. I don’t know how, uhh, smart he is, but explain the light lag to him too if he doesn’t understand. That may make you laugh, but there are some older people here who don’t get how it works. Which is ridiculous, because they all volunteered for this mission, having been told how difficult it would be to call back to Earth. I mean, even if you’re only a geologist, you’re still an astronaut, and you still need a basic foundation of space science. I dunno. I was a baby when our ship launched. It was a passenger transport, unlike the ships of old, which were only for a crew. That is to say, technically, anyone could have flown on it, with no training whatsoever. That’s how I was, being too young to learn anything. Still, you would think an adult going on the mission would expect themselves to be  better prepared. Sorry, I’m rambling again. I’m just a little nervous. I just know that, after I send this message, the next one could be coming from you, or from our father. Don’t take that as hesitation, I’ve made my decision, but that’s not going to stop the anxiety. How about this? Why don’t you respond to me first, and then give him my number. That way, I can be a little more prepared. Again, he may not want to reach out at all. You never know what’s going on in someone else’s head. It just might be easier to at least have one last buffer. I would appreciate it.

Congratulations on your new immigrant friends,

Corinthia

Microstory 1859: Life Coach

< > Table of Contents

When you were a kid, did anyone ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? I’m sure at least one person did, it’s such a common question. This world is so obsessed with placing value on people based on what they do for work, how hard they work at it, and how far they go because of it. I never put much stock into this, to use a relevant metaphor. If the idea behind it is to make the money you need to live a happy life, then I get it, but work itself has no value. And what should it matter what your actual job is, as long as it’s positive, and you’re generally satisfied with your life—because, or in spite of, it? I was first asked this question when I was pretty young. Most of the kids answered with the usual suspects; astronaut, rockstar, professional athlete. A few others wanted to own their own businesses, but even those were predictable, like an ice cream shop, or a dance studio. I guess that second one’s pretty cool, and if I recall correctly, he actually went on to do that. Me, I had trouble giving my answer. Back then, the phrase life coach wasn’t a thing, so even if I had come up with the term myself, my teacher wouldn’t have been able to understand. It was my dream to help others realize their own dreams, in whatever form that might take. Fortunately, this wasn’t a graded assignment, for if it had been, I surely would have failed, because I just could not explain the idea. Of course now, it’s really easy. You may not garner anyone’s respect if you tell them that’s what you do, but at least they’ll grasp the concept. I’ll tell you, though, that I’m not one of those new age, meditate into the universe, and it will return what you want kind of people. I require my clients to have realistic and clearly defined goals in mind. I can’t promise fame and fortune, but I guarantee reasonable results.

Starting out was really tough, and I relied on my parents’ help to survive while I was getting off the ground. They were more supportive of me than they should have been, but also not blindly accepting. They helped me make it a reality by setting clear expectations for myself. People sometimes say that I was the first life coach, but my mom would have to assume that title, because she coached me on how to coach others. As I said, people back then didn’t know what I was selling, so word of mouth was the only way it got going. My first few clients were women who were looking for a nice man to marry. I didn’t explicitly spurn the idea of just being a matchmaker, but I didn’t want to let that become my whole business. I wanted a diversity of clients. Then I met a guy who changed everything. All he wanted to do was be better at communicating with people. I imagine he would have been diagnosed with a social disorder had he been born later in the timeline. He found it quite difficult to socialize with other people, and to sit for job interviews. He needed to learn basic skills that other people take for granted, and that was perfect, because I had no trouble with those, and I knew I could teach him. He ended up being so good at these things—because he really just needed to slip out of his shell—that he created more and more business for me. I shed my potentially dangerous identity as a matchmaker, and started pulling in all sorts of clients. One of them wanted help finding a trustworthy math tutor for her son. Another needed to raise funds for a guitar, so he could learn to play. I did a lot with education. Back then, you couldn’t just search the internet for a teacher. There’s no end to this story; this is just what I did with my life, and I can go to the big sleep now, fulfilled and grateful to the world.

Microstory 1356: Self-Helper

< > Table of Contents

Self-Help Superfan: It is such an honor to meet you, sir. I was a huge fan of your first book, and almost scooped the moon when I found out you were soon to release a follow-up.

Self-Helper: Ah, scoop the moon. I like the reference. That was smart, starting out like that. It proves that you actually read my book, and you’re not just BSing me.

Self-Help Superfan: No, sir. I would not have asked for this interview if I hadn’t read it twice all the way through.

Self-Helper: Well, that’s great. I’m glad it’s helping you.

Self-Help Superfan: Oh, it definitely has. I’m already finding so much more success in my career than I ever thought possible, and it’s all thanks to you.

Self-Helper: No, no, no. Don’t say that. The point of my book is to find out what you can do for you. You’re already the pilot. I just cleaned your engines.

Self-Help Superfan: Haha, yes, of course. On that note, why don’t we get right into it? Your first self-help book was entitled The Astronaut in You. This next one is called The Ocean Above You. Did you mean for it to be so poetic? First we go up, then we come back down, and explore the depths?

Self-Helper: Honestly, I didn’t give it that much thought when I started out. I didn’t plan it to be like that. I suppose that goes to show how much profound truth there is to what I say. First you want to get as far from your comfort zone as possible. It’s only then that you can gain perspective, and an appreciation for where you came from. It’s also only after that when you can really get back to your roots, and explore who you are inside.

Self-Help Superfan: Excellent, excellent. So, the first chapter—and I don’t want to give anything away for my listeners—starts out with the Astronaut splashing down into the ocean to begin the second part of their journey. That wasn’t planned from the start?

Self-Helper: No, I wrote the first draft of the whole second book before I realized I could connect it to the astronaut motif in that way. I had to rewrite a lot of the rest to make it make sense, but that’s okay, because I was going to do another draft anyway. It’s important to understand—and don’t think any of my readers don’t—is that the Astronaut and the Diver are just metaphors. I don’t know what other metaphors I could have chosen, but the point is they’re just tools to help you comprehend how you can change your life for the better. That’s not the say I chose them at random. There is a reason for it, and it’s because most people reading these books are neither astronauts, nor deep sea divers. This sort of allows everyone to be on an even playing field. We can all relate to the archetypes in about the same way. Well, not all; chapter four of The Astronaut in You talks about diversity, but you get what I mean.

Self-Help Superfan: Yeah, I totally get it. There aren’t a lot of readers who can relate to the character too terribly much, because if they did, they might lose the message.

Self-Helper: That’s right. It’s about the message, and I don’t just want people reading a good story about themselves. It’s only moderately fictional to keep people interested, and to get them to read it straight through. People often try to pick and choose what parts of a self-help book will help them the quickest, and they ignore a lot of good material because of it. It’s not a piece of fiction, but it’s not an encyclopedia either. You’re meant to go from page one to the conclusion.

Self-Help Superfan: Oh, I know I certainly did. Now, a lot of self-help authors have come up with life-changing advice based on their own past experiences. But you didn’t really talk about your personal life in the first book. The second one seems to suggest writing the first one was actually an exercise in itself. You learned the hidden tricks by trying them out?

Self-Helper: That’s exactly what happened. The first one started out as a series of letters to my therapist. I was so anxious around people back then that I never got out what I really wanted to say during my sessions. She suggested that I write my questions down. She intended to answer them in-person, but we kind of became pen pals. That’s why she enjoys a collaborative credit in the book jacket.

Self-Help Superfan: That’s amazing. I want to know more about her; as much as you’re allowed to say, of course.

Self-Helper: I can say quite a bit. How long you got?

Microstory 1118: Richard Parker

< > Table of Contents

Richard Parker was not just a tiger. He was a man, with a brother named Saxon, and an eventual husband named Allen. While his brother would go on to become an astronaut, pioneering missions to Luna, Mars, and beyond, Richard chose to remain grounded. He met Allen on a camping trip in Colorado. At first, everything seemed normal. They were just two dudes who liked the outdoors, and ended up with tent lots next to each other. But the more they talked, the more they realized they had in common. Not only were they both on a lifelong mission to camp in every single state, but as if by magic, they had both already done this for the same four states. They lived on opposite sides of the country, though that didn’t matter. They went back to their separate lives, but kept in contact, and coordinated their vacation times, so they would always end up in the same place. After about a year of this, Allen found himself in between restaurant jobs, and decided it was time to move closer to his boyfriend. Richard was in construction, and could live just about anywhere, so they settled on Kansas City. A year later, they were living together, and still going on monthly trips, and a year after that, they were getting married. This all may sound nice and happy, but they had plenty of obstacles up ahead, because starting their lives together was just the beginning of their story. The beautiful early days of their marriage quickly descended into struggle and danger. It’s important to note that these were not the only versions of them. Similar events had transpired in an alternate timeline, but they had also met a woman named Ulinthra, who they ended up marrying as their third. She was a salmon, who lived each day twice, and used her gift to save as many lives as she could find in the newspaper. She did this with a partner named Reaver, but it would turn out they were both murderous psychopaths, who also used their gifts to hurt people, free of consequences. This timeline collapsed, giving way to a new one, in which Reaver attempted to prevent Richard and Allen from getting caught up in the death and drama by simply keeping them apart. But this was terrible as well, because they would end up alone, and separately working for Reaver anyway. It wasn’t until the next timeline after this that things started going well for the two of them, but that didn’t mean it was going to last forever. They soon found themselves once again in the world of time travelers, battling a powerful woman with psychic abilities. It would seem time did not want them to lead normal lives, and the history they don’t even remember would come back to haunt them when they were recruited to help stop Ulinthra yet again, this time many decades in the future. Then things got real crazy.

Microstory 774: Cowboy

< > Table of Contents

Dalvin Sabastino could not be more different than his sister, Twila. They grew up in the same environment in the city, were raised by the same parents, and even had most of the same teachers. But while Twila pursued a life of academics, ultimately becoming a world-renowned scientist and astronaut, Dalvin pursued almost nothing. His parents urged him to get a job when he was a teenager, and he always claimed he would get on that, but he never followed through. His mother even procured him a position at her factory, but he didn’t show up even once. After he finished high school, his parents promptly kicked him out of the house, and he was left to the streets. Despite having nothing, he never turned to a life of crime. This was the motivation he needed to turn his life around. Drawing upon a nickname his family gave him because of his reckless and carefree behavior, Dalvin decided to become a literal cowboy. Since there were no ranches where he lived, he walked halfway across the country, to California, where he thought he would have gainful employment year-round. He continued to struggle finding work, until a rancher took pity on him, and gave him a low-level job. His troubles did not end there, though. The rancher turned out to be using his small business to launder money for local organized crime. Though Dalvin was completely oblivious to this, he was sent to prison, and fined for his involvement. As successful as Twila was in her profession, she did not have enough money to pay for Dalvin’s legal defense, and certainly didn’t have enough himself. And so she agreed to participate in the reality series Flipsides, which pitted contestants against each other in adventurous challenges. She actually did pretty well, and was able to secure the funds for her brother’s release. Sadly, things would not turn out so well for her, and Dalvin blamed himself for what happened to her during production. But was it enough to turn him into a killer?

Microstory 50: How Different People Count

This is not exactly a microstory, but it isn’t the first time I’ve used a different format, and it probably won’t be the last. I’ve been really busy this week, and I just can’t be spontaneously creative right now. I wrote this several years ago for no reason at all. It shows how different kinds of people look at counting.

• Mathematicians: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13
• Other Mathematicians: 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29
• Cheerleaders: 5, 6, 7, 8, 1, 2, 3, 4
• Computers: 0, 1, 0, 1
• Rockers: 1. 2. 1, 2, 3, 4!
• Romans: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI
• The Offspring: Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis
• Astronauts: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
• LOST Fans: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
• Nihilists: WHO CARES!
• Nietzsche: 1; me.
• Camera Operators: 5, 4, 3, (2), (1)
• Morons: What?