Microstory 2572: Unsuccessful Panacea Test Subject

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Generated by Google Gemini Pro text-to-video AI software, powered by Veo 3

My story is a bad and scary one, so strap in. I have always been a perfectly healthy and fit young man. I work out every single day, I do resistance training, and I eat well. I was lucky enough to be born into a family that both valued health, and understood it. We knew that eating fat doesn’t inherently make you fat, before the word kind of spread about that misinformation. We know that carbs are good for you, if from the right sources (with fiber), and at the right ratios. I know, I’m bragging, but it’s relevant, because I am exactly the test subject that the researchers needed. They wanted someone who didn’t just not need to be cured, but very didn’t need it. For this to work, I had to start out as the perfect specimen. And for lack of a better term, they then...fucked me up. They gave me so many diseases, I can’t remember the number; let alone which ones they were. Not every disease is transmissible like that, but they did their best with what they had. It should have killed me, and nearly did. The lab was located in a building owned by the pharmaceutical company, but that’s not where they conducted this experiment. I was only there for my initial testing. The final phase took place at the hotel, because that’s where Landis is. That’s an important detail, don’t forget it. While they could easily move me anywhere without anyone noticing or caring, they couldn’t move Landis without it being a national news story. A couple of years ago, the man took a fifteen minute walk in the woods with his team, and it dominated the news cycle for 24 hours. So they took me to the hotel, and put me in a room that none of the staff ever went to. It was just me, Landis, my doctors, and his doctors. Not even his personal assistant was there with him, and she follows him around like a tail. I don’t think she knew about it.

Anyway, they sat me in a chair, and pumped me full of poison, at which point I started dying. After they were happy with how much time had passed, they injected me with a prototype of the panacea. It did not work. It may have made things worse. It’s hard to tell, because I was in the most pain I had ever felt in my life. That’s why Landis was there, because while they weren’t sure if the panacea would work, they were fairly confident that he could fix me. Even that wasn’t a guarantee, because no one in the world has ever been sick as much as I was. You can’t naturally get that many diseases, because the first few will probably kill you if it goes any further. But that’s what they wanted. They wanted to understand the scope. Had even Landis not been able to save me, my family would have received the money, but since he was there as a backup plan, I did end up with it. Do you wanna hear the number? It’s 28 million dollars. That’s how much they gave me because the panacea failed. How did they calculate that? I just found out recently, actually, I didn’t know before. I don’t understand it, but they took a number called the VSL, which basically calculates how much an anonymous person’s life is worth. Then they doubled it for good measure. So I’m a millionaire now. My assets are quickly dwindling as I’m giving away more than I’ve saved or invested, but I have more than enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life. The question that haunts me, though, is how many others went through the same thing...and were there any who even Landis couldn’t save?

Microstory 2204: Data Synthesist

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Generated by Google Gemini Advanced text-to-image AI software, powered by Imagen 2, and by Pixlr AI image editor

My Data Analyst would like to change his title to Data Synthesist. I was surprised when he came to me with that title, because that’s precisely what I wanted to call it in the beginning, but I was overruled at the time. You see, there’s a difference between analysis and synthesis. An analyst will take data, and break it apart into its smallest parts. They will examine each one, and figure out how it works; how it contributes to whatever it’s there to do. But a system is more than simply the sum of its parts. You, for instance, are not just a collection of organs, bones, blood, nerves, and muscles. You are a full person, and you cannot be rightly defined simply by listing every aspect of your self. What a synthesist does is take the system as a whole, and looks at how those parts work together to form that whole, in all dimensions. There’s an old parable in the systems thinking field that asks whether you would have the best car if you researched the best individual parts in the market, and tried to put them together. The answer is no, you wouldn’t; you wouldn’t even have a car! They wouldn’t fit together correctly, and would not add up to functionality. There is a time and place for analysis, but that time is not now, and that place is not here. I’m all in favor of my team member changing his title, but it’s a lot more complicated than just making the declaration, and printing new business cards. It has to go through human resources, and executives in our company. Our client has to approve it too, because they have the right to decide who they contract with. Compliance and legal have to be involved, as do departments that you might not immediately think of, like payroll and benefits. We don’t need their approval, but they still need to know that it’s happening so they can adjust their systems accordingly. And with all this comes the paperwork. Oh, the paperwork. We went through all this when the process was just getting started, and I was pleasantly surprised at how fast it went, but they might not be interested in undoing their work, and starting over from scratch, even if we’re just talking about one title. It may sound like I’m complaining, but I’m confident that we’ll figure this out. It’s the right move to make, even if it may sound small and inconsequential. It’s important that we state our intentions in all relevant ways, so our clients understand what kind of value we add to their businesses.

Microstory 1950: Favorite Chaps

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Generated by Google Workspace Labs text-to-image AI software

Myka: What do you think of this one?

Leonard: For me?

Myka: Yeah. It has really good battery life, and a fast processor.

Leonard: Do they just make phones with buttons for dialing phone numbers?

Myka: You don’t want to be able to text?

Leonard: Yeah, in my world, the numbered buttons have letters too.

Myka: Oh my God, you calgian. It takes forever to text that way. If you want something simpler, we can do that. But no friend of mine is gonna have a brick, or even a candybar.

Leonard: What the heck is a calgian?

Myka: You don’t have calgians? They hate all technology. I think the original term sprouted from a movement a long time ago of people whose loved ones were killed by the first horseless carriages, or something like that.

Leonard: Oh, we call those people hoobliers.

Myka: That’s a weird word. Anyway; scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. What about this one?

Leonard: When I was staying at the hotel on the government’s dime, I didn’t have to pay for anything, but I could still see the prices. Based on my understanding of the value of your dollar—which is different from what I’m used to—that is still a lot of money.

Myka: I can afford it.

Leonard: Whether you can afford it or not is not the problem. It’s whether I can afford to pay you back. The offer from the Office of Special Investigations did not come with a rate of pay, and I still don’t even know if I’m going to accept it.

Myka: This isn’t a loan, Leonard. It’s a gift.

Leonard: You don’t have to do that.

Myka: I want to. I don’t need a new job; I’m doing okay for myself as I am.

Leonard: What do you do for a living? I don’t know if you ever said.

Myka: I work in a room full of remotely accessed computers and servers. I don’t have technical expertise, but if someone who’s working from home needs their machine to be turned back on, or something else goes wrong that requires physical access, they send me a message, and I handle it. I also ship and receive their home devices.

Leonard: Oh, that’s interesting.

Myka: It’s not. Things don’t go wrong often. Luckily, it allows me to watch TV all day.

Leonard: Once when I was struggling to find a job, my father gave me the best advice I’ve ever heard. The goal for those who don’t have any special skill or passion should be a job that gives them the most amount of money for the least amount of work.

Myka: That is interesting. [...] Anyway, let me get this for you, okay? I think you may find yourself using the features more than you think. Don’t feel bad about the money. I need to know that you’ll be available at any time. Plus, you’ll be able to install SatChapp.

Leonard: All right, I won’t feel bad. Thanks, Myka. And what is SatChapp?

Myka: It’s an app that lets you track your friends via satellite. SatChapp, the sat app for your favorite chaps. There’s a jingle that goes with it. Here, I’ll look it up on VidChapp.

Leonard: I’m one of your favorite chaps?

Myka: *giggling* Shut up. Of course you are.