Voyage to Saga: Stunt Double (Part X)

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In preparation for his departure from this universe, Vearden revealed to his wife, Gretchen the truth about him. From the second she met him, she had suspected that there was something off about him. Over the following five years, her suspicions grew at about the same rate as her love for him. Eventually, she decided that it didn’t matter where he came from, and that she would accept whatever he ended up telling her. She even considered the possibility that he was an alien, a Buck Rogers, or a humanoid robot. She never imagined that he was not from this version of Earth. That information was a tough pill to swallow, but several days of deep discussions were enough for her to be okay. It was not easy, but she wasn’t going to throw him to the wolves because of what he was, or because he didn’t tell her earlier. They were married, and they were in love, and they would together get through whatever was coming. There were still some questions, though, and she knew he wouldn’t be able to answer them himself. “When you leave, what happens to me?”

“I don’t know, Meta” Gretchen’s real first name was Gretchen, but Vearden later learned that it could also be a shortened name for Margareta, and that another shortened name is Meta. It was a strange little pet name, but they both liked it...especially now that it symbolized some interesting existential implications.

“Will this Shepherd woman let me go with you?”

“Do you want to go with me?”

“Do you not want me to?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a safe life. I have to admit, this is the best universe I’ve ever been in. Things seem to be rather normal, even including all we’ve been through. I don’t know why you’d want to leave.”

“I don’t know why you would want to leave me.”

“I don’t, but I have to do this. I have to get Saga back.”

“I understand that, but...what did you think was going to happen when you said yes to my marriage proposal?”

“I guess I hoped the Shepherd would send Saga and me back here once this is all over.”

“You had to hope, because you don’t really know. You have no clue what’s going through her head. These...choosers, and powers that be don’t seem all that keen on giving people what they want.”

“That’s true, but this one’s different. She doesn’t see people as chess pieces. I don’t even know that she’s human.”

The Shepherd came in from the other room. “I’m not.”

“You heard the whole conversation?” Vearden asked, not sure he would have to repeat it for her.

“I did. I heard every conversation. All the conversations. I’ve been here the whole time.”

“I don’t love that,” Gretchen said.

The Shepherd drew nearer to Gretchen. “I’ve seen more than you could even conceive. I stopped judging others a few millions years ago.”

There was a brief moment of silence.

The Shepherd restarted the conversation, “I’ll make a deal with you.”

“Oh, no.”

“I will let you and Saga return to this universe. In fact, I’ll put you right in this very moment, so that no one you know here wonders where you’ve gone.”

“Okay...” Vearden said tentatively.

“But only if Gretchen completes the last three challenges with you.”

“No, no,” Vearden said without hesitation. Can’t do it. I’m not subjecting her to that. It’s waaaay too dangerous. Please, we can come to an agreement.”

“We can come to an agreement,” the Shepherd...agreed. “We can agree to what I’ve already proposed. It shouldn’t be too hard, one-third of us already has agreed.”

“Well, I’ve not. I will not. I cannot.”

“I will,” Gretchen said plainly.

“What?”

“You’ve spent the last five years in my world, Vearden,” Gretchen told him. “The least I could do is spend a little time in yours.”

“It won’t be my world,” Vearden said back. “You would be going to worlds I’ve never even heard of before. There’s no telling what we’ll find on the other side. I don’t even wanna do it, I just have to.”

Gretchen smirked. “I have to as well. You’re going off to save your partner, why am I not allowed to do the same?”

That was some twisted logic, but it was also solid, and Vearden had no argument against it.

“Me me biiig girl,” Gretchen said jokingly. “I’m going, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help you both. Then we’ll all come back here and live in peace.” She faced the Shepherd. “We will, right? The powers that be can’t get to us here?”

“Only I have access to this universe, and I would never. You’ll be safe.”

Gretchen definitively nodded her head once. “Then it’s settled.”

Vearden shook his head. “Now, hold on. I didn—”

“It’s settled,” Gretchen interrupted. She gave him the look. He knew the look well. She wasn’t backing down from this. He would have to get on board.

The Shepherd took in a deep breath to signify the end of the conversation. “I’ve left your outfits for the next universe in your closet.”

“Outfits?” Gretchen asked.

“Costumes,” the Shepherd clarified. “I honestly thought you two would stop at the self-defense training, but you went all out with the martial arts classes. I never thought in a billion years I would send you to this next universe, but I guess you can handle it.”

“Shepherd,” Vearden began, “are we going to samurai-world?”

“L-O-L,” the Shepherd said. “No.” She left the room, and at some point, disappeared from this dimension.

“We better not keep her waiting,” Gretchen said once she had gone. She sounded a bit too excited than Vearden was comfortable with.

They were not dressed like samurai. They looked like superheroes, complete with form-fitting jumpsuits, and masks. They were already in the new universe. “Why do I have a big F on my chest?”

“Is that a lance?” Gretchen asked. “It looks like a small lance.”

Vearden looked down at the sharp weapon that had suddenly appeared in his hand. It was a much shorter version of its medieval cousin, and it looked like the business end could be removed. He looked back at the big letter F emblazoned on his chest, and closed his eyes. “I get it. I’m Freelancer. Very funny, Shepherd!” he quietly yelled to the aether. This was a reference to the salmon title The Delegator had given him and Saga since they were constantly being traded between powers that be and choosing ones.

Gretchen couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well, what are you supposed to be? Is that a megaphone?” It was about the size of a handgun, with several buttons on it.

“It’s my metaphone. My codename is obviously Director.”

“Like your job title at Magnate. That makes sense.”

They were just standing in a darkened alley with vines running up a fence, no idea where they were meant to go, or what they were meant to do. Usually, something just sort of presented itself to Vearden, and this universe was no different. They could hear rapid footsteps approaching them, occasionally splashing in puddles of water.

A mid-thirties man wearing a leather jacked appeared out of the darkness and approached them. “Help me, please! She’s crazy!”

Another figure came from the shadows, stopping short when she saw them. She was wearing an all black form-fitting costume, with a mask over her the top of her face.

“Who are you?” Vearden asked. “Daredevil? Daredevilette?”

She tilted her head. “I’m Stuntwoman.” She kind of sounded like a female Batman, altering her voice to protect her secret identity.

“Well, I’m Freelancer. This is Director.”

“I’ve never heard of you.”

“We’re new,” Gretchen explained.

“Are you part of Forager’s crew?” Stuntwoman asked.

“Uh...” Vearden didn’t know which answer she was looking for. “No?”

“I was not aware there was competition,” Stuntwoman said. She approached the scared man, stopping only to acknowledge Vearden and Gretchen’s clear intentions to protect him. She looked him in the eyes, of which she appeared to have none. “You must go,” she ordered him.

The man hesitated, still too frightened to even move.

“GO!” she yelled. She patiently waited for him to run off, and out of earshot, before returning to the conversation. “Are you good or bad?”

Again, Vearden didn’t know what answer would make her happy. He just had to make a choice. He didn’t want to be judgmental, but the leather-jacket guy didn’t exactly look like an upstanding citizen. Theoretically, Stuntwoman was a hero, rather than a villain.

“We’re good,” Gretchen told her with confidence.

“Does your organization have levels as well? What level are you? How did it begin? What information were you given at the beginning. Who hurt you?”

“Uhhh...” Neither Gretchen nor Vearden had any idea what she was talking about.

“We’re visitors. We don’t have levels, or an organization. We’re just...doing this on our own.” Vearden always knew Gretchen to be a good liar, but this was a side of her he hadn’t truly seen before.

She paused to size them up and think it over. “Imitators. I don’t have time for you.” She turned and started walking away. “I have to go find another target.”

Vearden took her by the arm to stop her from leaving.

“Do not touch me!” she shouted at him.

“I’m sorry,” Vearden said, pulling his hand away. He would have done it anyway. Her sleeve was incredibly hot, like a cooking pan that hadn’t quite reached full temperature. “We’re not just copycats. We know what we’re doing. We have extensive martial arts training.” This was actually true. Not too terribly long after Vearden arrived in Gretchen’s universe, a stalker attacked Gretchen in an attempt to reach the new Magnate company owners. This had inspired both of them to take self-defense classes, and it was this that brought them closer together. They didn’t stop there, quickly learning that they enjoyed what it was teaching them. They maybe weren’t good enough to be superheroes, but they were decent fighters in their own right.

“It doesn’t matter. I have to find someone to kill by midnight, or I’m out of the crew. And you have nothing to do with this.”

“Superheroes don’t kill people,” Gretchen said.

“I’m not here to be a hero. I’m here to be a villain. I don’t...I don’t want to be, but that’s what they want, so I’m doing what they ask.”

“You’re infiltrating them.”

“I have to go.” She turned away again.

Vearden stepped towards her, but did not touch. Still, as a defense mechanism, she somehow set her arms and back on fire. She wasn’t at all fazed by it. “I guess we know why they call you Stuntwoman. Plus, Ghost Rider was taken.”

“Who?” Stuntwoman asked.

“Never mind him,” Gretchen said. “We can help. That’s why we’re here. In order to move up the ranks in this organization, you have to prove yourself by killing someone, right?”

“Correct,” Stuntwoman confirmed, just as confused about why she was confiding in them as anyone else Vearden had met during these challenges.

“Believe it or not,” Gretchen told her, removing her mask, “we’ve done this before. We have faked someone’s death. We can do that for you too.”

Vearden removed his mask as well. “We don’t know this...town.” He stopped himself from saying something like universe or dimension. You’ll have to find someone willing to go along with this plan, though. Do you know anyone like that?”

Taking a risk, Stuntwoman removed her mask to follow suit, and dropped the fake voice. “I have someone in mind. I actually think the crew will appreciate my...cruelty.”

“Then let’s get started,” Gretchen said. “We only have until midnight, yeah?”

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Microstory 545: New Home Galaxy Detected 55 MLY Away

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For years, our kind has been rejected, refused, and dismissed. The others have attempted to indoctrinate us into their beliefs, but we have held firm. We adhere to certain rights and practices that they no longer think are necessary. They were once like us, but now they preach freedom and harmony, when really, it’s all about control. Though they claim that everyone is equal, it can’t possibly be true. Somebody has to be making decisions day-to-day. Somebody has to have power over everyone else. Who that could be is of no concern to us. All we want is a home to call our own, and to not have to worry about the communists coming to bother us about our lack of government oversight. Our top researchers have been scouring the universe, looking for the best spot to set down roots. We sent scout ships in all directions, hunting down habitable planets. Unfortunately, though there are plenty of candidates, they’re also always too close to some other civilization. We just weren’t happy with our prospects. So we went farther than anyone has before, ultimately coming across a completely uninhabited galaxy fifty-five million light-years away. Yes, you read that right. We found it. This can be our home. It fits perfectly with our needs; more habitable planets than any other galaxy. It’s an interesting offering; full of globular clusters, and an energetic plasma jet, the true nature of which remains a mystery for now. Teams have already begun the bidding process for determining the basic characteristic of our new civilization. We need a name for the galaxy, the location of the primary star systems and planets we’ll be using, and some infrastructure. Yes, there does need to be some level of regulation. Without it, life would be nothing but chaos, and we would all be at risk from foreign threats. This is a great day for our people. We will finally be able to leave the remote woods of Tellus...and go home.

Microstory 544: Attack on Asexual Headquarters; Amadesins Take Credit

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Few things in this world are more complicated than the religious order for Amadesis. This religion is so old that historians are not in agreement as to how it even began. Head Professor of Religious Studies at Langford University in Alberta, Nessa Shannon had this to say about it in her most recent novel: “Amadesis is not a set of ideals. It is not a cult, yet it is not a true religion. It is a vague affiliation of nonconformists whose only commonality is that they hate everyone else. It is an infection; one that can contaminate only individuals born into it, or those otherwise conditioned to believe that they are powerless to stop it.” She goes on to say that Amadesis would not function in a world without opposing systems. It thrives not only on the friction it causes against the outside world, but amongst its own sister sects. Basically the idea is that if everyone believed what any one sect believed, it would fall apart, because there would be no one left for them to fight. And so all sects of Amadesis fight each other, each one hoping to gain dominance over the others, and possibly later over the world. This is happening constantly. The duration of any one sect’s hold on power varies from a couple weeks to several decades.

Few things in this world are more complicated than sexuality. It is common knowledge that sexuality is fluid, and that no two individuals are truly alike. We all have our different tastes; be that as noticeable as a partner’s apparent sex, or as minor as eye color. Preference cannot be quantified, or categorized. Early psychologists attempted to place individuals on some sort of sexual spectrum, but this proved to be difficult. There was no way to account for seemingly inconsequential priorities. Famous author, Collin Angler was once quoted as saying, “I’m very picky when it comes to the men I’m attracted to. Medium build, no body hair, clear skin. I’m not as picky when it comes to women. I have no interest in forming deep bonds with men, and I’m less interested in sexual relationships with women. Where on the spectrum do I fall? Labeling me as bisexual does me no justice.” Still, words are a necessary product of communication. We use words to convey ideas, because demonstrating an idea using abstract wordless concepts is logistically impractical for everyday life. So we do the best we can to come up with the most useful words possible. One of these words is asexual.

Asexuals are defined as individuals who possess little to no sexual drive. As you can see by this definition, it typifies a wide array of conflicting personalities, and to understand any one person who identifies as asexual, one would need information beyond this one word. Despite this, an institution exists in order to positively promote the asexual paradigm as a whole. The Asexual Awareness Project is a relatively new organization led by similar people who wish to be heard. Historically, asexuals have had little voice in their community. They are easily dismissed as apathetic, self-involved, or even sociopathic. Unfortunately, the sad truth is that the only thing Amadesins and everyone else can agree on is that they dislike asexuality. Most people have reported feeling no hatred towards asexuals, but they do test at a significant level of ignorance. It is Amadesis who can be violent about it.

Yesterday, the AAP headquarters was attacked. Authorities are still investigating, and details are scarce. But we do know that a series of bombs were placed at strategic locations of the building. The explosion of one bomb would send workers, volunteers, sanctuary-seekers, family members, and visitors towards a second bomb. Once that next bomb went off, they would try to escape again, only to be met with yet another. Two deaths have been reported, with dozens of others injured. As mentioned before, only one sect of Amadesis is in power at any one time, but this changes hands frequently. There are certain sects, however, that remain on the fringe, even from the perspective of other Amadesins. A sect will tend to focus on one particular issue, and the Order of Girard has evidently chosen asexuality as its primary target. They have not yet issued a complete statement, but have taken credit for the attack, claiming that “[they did] not intend to permanently harm anyone in the building, but instead wanted to point out society’s preexisting indifference to the asexual’s ‘plight’ [sic].” Political experts believe this to mean that the outrage found from other terrorist attacks—such as the Spiralshell City Massacre, or the very recent Kalian Train Derailment—will always be considered by the public to be more tragic than one against asexuals. Only time will tell if they are right. Investigators have yet to confirm any members of the Order of Girard as suspects.

Microstory 543: Ashil to Become Site of First Off-world Settlement

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Ever since the discovery of faster-than-light plex travel was made public, everyone and their mother wanted to take a ship to a distant star system. Many of these endeavors have been fruitless. Nearly, if not all, stars carry with them daughter planets, but not all planets are at all amenable to life. Some are too small, some are too large. Some are too far away from their parent star, some too close. Some have no life, some have dangerous life. Still, as the mapping of the galaxy is increasingly crowd-sourced, some hidden gems have also been found. One of the first systems to be explored was that of a blue hypergiant not too terribly far from the homeworld (in cosmic scales). Scientists were not expecting to find any life in this system, as blue hypergiants are generally too unstable to support it. They also tend to burn hot and die young, remaining stable over the course of only millions of years, rather than billions. The scientists were shocked to learn that this star was as old as the universe itself, and provided single-cellular life to an eden. They constructed an outpost there to study it in more depth, and named it Old Blue. After that came Lai and Dolinarad, the latter of which was claimed by the infamous Meekas family. Just six years ago, we finally found Ashil. Ashil was no better than Lai in terms of its similarity to the homeworld, nor was it better than Dolinarad. It has, however, been determined to be the site of the first permanent human settlement beyond the homeworld.

Though Lai would like this title, they unfortunately did not in time qualify for certain criteria. To be considered a permanent settlement, a significant number of passengers must have immigrated there. These passengers must have no present intention of leaving, and they must lay down permanent structures for housing, and other basic community needs. An autonomous governing body must be established, along with everything that goes with it; its own currency exchange, public services, etc. Though referred to as a settlement, there must actually be at least two settlements, and these must be geographically separated from each other, in order to count. There are a few other minor details that Lai simply did not achieve, though they are expected to by the end of this year. They are also reportedly working on legal arguments to contest this decision, and attain the honor of first exoplanet colonization themselves.

Microstory 542: Starscapers Hopes to Rival Magnus Immortality

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For the last ninety years, Magnus Immortality has been, by most metrics, the most popular broadcast series. It’s an uncomplicated premise, but one that’s always been difficult to execute. Though the titular character has gone by many names, his original birthname has never been spoken, and that’s because no one knows where he comes from, not even himself. Magnus Immortality is genetically human, to be sure. A number of episodes have dealt with him needing to prove this, for one reason or another. He is, however, the only immortal of his kind in an unnamed fictional galaxy. A lot has changed over the course of more than 20,000 episodes, but one thing has remained constant. He cannot die.

He is said to have lived for centuries, and carries degrees in almost every subject. He spends his time saving the worlds from disaster, that is if he can get his homework done. The rules of immortality are inconsistent. Sometimes The Magnus is invulnerable to injury, sometimes he has to die and be resurrected, and sometimes his life force transfers to a new body. Sometimes The Magnus can be played by the same actor, sometimes not. Sometimes an actor leaves for a stint, then comes back in an entirely different incarnation. Sometimes there is an actor change with absolutely no indication that The Magnus has died at all. Sometimes The Magnus is female and sometimes male. About the only thing that hasn’t changed about this show is how much more successful it’s been against all contenders. The creators of a new series, called Starscapers, hopes to change that.

According to the official production company description, “[Starscapers] is about a construction company currently in the business of creating an entire galaxy. They design and build stars, planets, and moons from scratch.” It takes place at a hypothetical end of the universe in the deep, deep, deep future. It is estimated that the universe will ultimately grow so large that all matter decays into its basic atoms. In the series, all remaining intelligent life survives in large generation ships, huddled together, with barely enough room to walk. The First Light Starscaping Corporation competes with other companies to build star systems for people to live in, with the eventual goal of building a whole galaxy, and reigniting the cosmos. The show will focus on an elite team of specialists charged with making some of the galaxy’s more interesting features; nebulas, quasar fields, and bizarre geography. No casting announcements have been made, but fifty-six episodes have been written so far, and the first three years have been fully planned out. Production is set to begin next week, with the premiere scheduled for early next year.

Microstory 541: New Planet Discovered From an Early Exodus

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Thirty-five years after the first man, Dwyn Rinen landed on the moon, a ship with his namesake left the seed of civilization. The Rinen was a sleeper ship, traveling at little over 0.13 percent the speed of light. They were headed towards the homeworld’s nearest neighboring star. It would take them over 1,500 years to arrive at their destination, and by the time they did, the galaxy had transformed. Just decades after their departure, faster-than-light travel was discovered. It would be another century before this information was made public, but once it was, interstellar travel quickly became a part of everyday life. Anyone with enough money to build a capable vessel was doing so, and setting out to colonize space. The government owned several planets, but most of them were under the rule of private citizens; the richest of the rich. That small neighboring star system was of no interest to those early pioneers. They chose to go to the far reaches of the galaxy. Anywhere within a few lightyears of the origin just seemed so...pedestrian. But this was not a sentiment shared by the explorers in the sleeper ship.

When the Rinen’s passengers landed, they were not the same either. They experienced neurological problems as a result of their extended stay in hyper-sleep. Language was particularly difficult for them, often leading to bizarre speech; most notably erroneously repeating nominal terms. This led them to name their new planet Rinen Rinen. They gave their children double names as well, such as Prime President Alsi Alsi Noromo Noromo, or Ambassador Dyne Dyne Pala Pala. A few weeks ago, a small group of postgraduate researchers from Damr decided to take on a massive project. They wanted to map the entire galaxy in great detail, including barren and uninhabited systems. After an initial planning stage, they set out on their journey. Their first stop was Rinen Rinen; a planet belonging to a star that had been long forgotten. Its denizens had been living there for thousands of years, all but unaware of where they had come from, and with no considerable desire to remember. They welcomed the visitors, but mostly because they seem to have a general aversion to conflict or confrontation. Still, both the Astral Military Force, and the Rinen Rinen government, are interested in developing some kind of relationship with each other. A press conference is being held tomorrow at 27:00 Standard Time.

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: July 4, 2119

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In the morning, Mateo threw the three remaining bottles of the water into his bag and headed out. This could be home, but he also had the instinct to explore the rest of the island. Maybe there was something better out there, like a six-star resort, or an ice cream shoppe. He walked for hours. The island was beautiful, full of flora and fauna he had never seen before. Around lunchtime, he took a break to eat on a fruit/vegetable root he had dug out of the ground. Peeking through the tallgrass, he could see Ambrosios desperately running around. He kept stopping, looking around, and running in a different direction. He must have been giving chase to a creature too small for Mateo to see from where he was sitting. Mateo ducked down a little more when it looked like Ambrosios was looking in his general direction. It must not have been enough, because the old immortal started running towards him with the ferocity of a jungle cat.

“Hey, hey, hey, I was trying to stay away from you,” Mateo argued. “You came to me.”

“I came looking for you because I didn’t realize what year it was. You, my new friend, are about to witness The Homecoming.”

“And what would that be?”

“Everyone knows that the Earth orbits the sun.”

“Except maybe Tila Tequila.”

“Who?”

“Never mind.”

“What many people don’t know is that the sun orbits the center of the galaxy. Every two-hundred-some-odd-million years, it arrives in the same place it was before. Except that not really. The inner stars move faster than the outer stars, like runners on a racetrack. And the galaxy itself is hurdling through space.”

“Yeah, I remember Leona telling me about this stuff a little.”

“Well what all this means is that the galaxy never looks in one moment exactly as it does in another. It’s constantly shifting, except for one small example. There’s a reason that Earth and this planet look nearly identical. We were once part of a binary planet system. This was many billions of years ago, but it placed us in something called quantum entanglement. Changes to one planet will have an effect on the other.”

“Whaaat? I’ve never heard of this before, and they definitely would have mentioned it sometime in high school, probably elementary.”

“People don’t know about it. Literally aeons ago, this planet was ejected from the system, and sent flying through space, eventually finding its way to this star system here, but it is still connected to Earth. Once that happened, a cosmic event started happening as well. Like I told you, the Earth is always moving around the center of the galaxy, but this star system does not. I do not know why, I do not know if someone else knows why, but I know that it doesn’t. This star is fixed, so every galactic year, it and sol come within exactly one lightyear of each other. It’s called the Homecoming.”

“This sounds ridiculous. It’s only been a century since I became a salmon, and I haven’t always been on these islands. We would have known. We know things that are going to happen in the future. Hell, I distinctly remember hearing that galaxies are colliding, and that ours will one day be combined with some other.”

“From what I understand, this galactic anniversary coincides with the solar system passing through some kind of interstellar gas? I guess instruments are out of whack, at least for now. Either that, or some choosing one is shielding us from view, possibly this planet’s previous owner. That doesn’t matter, though. This is real, and it’s happening now, and we have a chance.”

Mateo didn’t know what Ambrosios was trying to say. He just waited for further explanation.

“Mateo, we can leave. Not only this island, but this planet. We can both go back to Earth. We need the star puddle, and we need two people.”

“I dunno, dude. You don’t sound like someone I can trust.”

“Yep, that’s fair. The last few years have been rough, but Homecoming has gotten me excited. It’s led me to want to be better. This is important, Mateo. This is life or death. If you help me with this, I’ll give you something in return.”

“You’ll give me what?”

“Most of the ingredients for immortality. I don’t have all I need, but I’ve kept what I have in a safe place.”

“The powers that be aren’t going to let me run around looking for the rest of the ingredients. They’re useless to me.”

“No, they’re of use to you as they are. They won’t make you immortal, but they do help with other things.”

“With what?”

“Well, one of them makes you invulnerable, another keeps you free from disease. One even makes it so that you can’t be killed in your past, so nothing can prevent you from becoming immortal...once you’ve found it in one timeline.”

“Well, fine. I’ll help you.”

“Speaking of water, I didn’t take enough with me to look for you. I severely underestimated how far away you would go. Come, I’ll show you the stream. It magically keeps itself purified.”

“Oh, I have some water.” Mateo reached into his bag and tried to hand him one of the bottles he had found in the car.”

Ambrosios looked shocked. He snatched it out of Mateo’s hand, and inspected the label. “Where did you find this?”

“I came across an old car. It doesn’t start, but it was good enough to keep me out of the elements.”

“Oh my God. I can’t believe you opened that. This is Health. What have you had so far?”

“Well, I mean, I didn’t keep the bottles with me. Here’s what else I have left.”

Ambrosios took the bag from Mateo’s hand and looked at the other two bottles. “Youth and Longevity. Which means you drank Invulnerability, Time, and Body.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying. What did I drink? Were these the ingredients? Did I find your stash?”

“Yes, Mateo, that’s what you did. Each ingredient gives you one part of what you need to live forever without dying. You drank Invulnerability, which speaks for itself. You also drank Body, which allows you to experience nonlinear time.”

“That must be what The Cleanser left out when he offered it to me and The Navigator. He said it would break me out of my pattern.”

“That’s right, you basically drank your own kryptonite. But you also drank Time, which is the one that comes from the star puddle. It protects you retroactively, so that a traveler can’t go back in time and prevent you from drinking it.”

“Like The Hundemarke.”

“Yeah, kinda.” He wasn’t furious about Mateo drinking his precious water, likely because he now had a way to get off the island, but he also wasn’t super happy about it. “Unfortunately for you, none of this is going to work. If you had just taken one, that one would have been fine, but they counteract each other unless you first drink Catalyst. And they won’t last very long unless you drink Activator at the end. It’s this whole thing. You can’t go ‘round drinking other people’s shit, Mateo. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

“Man, I didn’t know that car was yours. I found something that was going to help me survive, so I took my opportunity.”

“That isn’t my car. It’s The Superintendent’s. And I turned the battery off because I was saving it for when I got my hands on Existence water. I couldn’t leave the island without it...until now. If I tried, I would be torn out of reality.”

“Like my friends.”

“Like who?”

“Like Xearea.”

“Who?”

Mateo sighed. “Trust me, you met her.”

“Well, it looks like you don’t have to help me. You only took what I was going to give you as payment. I guess I’ll see you around.”

Mateo stopped him. “I don’t know if this is supposed to be a guilt trip, but you have to realize that you don’t know me very well. I’m going to help you; not because I want off this island too, or because you were going to give me something, but because that’s the kind of person I am. The plan is still in place...whatever that plan happens to be.”

“We need to start the plan now, but we can’t complete it until one year from now. It would seem that your jumps, and the galactic year, match up perfectly...and that’s actually better for us. I don’t know if that’s a coincidence, or by design. But we need to take advantage of it.”

“Then let’s go.”

And so Mateo and Ambrosios headed off on their adventure together. The water was simple enough. They just filled up a few pouches. The other stops were strange. They found a grove of lionfruit, which Ambrosios had no name for, but he was happy enough with Mateo’s terms. They didn’t take the fruit itself, but instead some of the leaves they were growing with. Not all the leaves were good enough, though. They had to have the right ratio of blue and green. And he required tons of the stuff. Then Ambrosios made Mateo climb up to the top of a cliff and tear out a particular kind of fairly sharp shale rock. He asked for a few pieces, “just in case”. Meanwhile, Ambrosios had retrieved a special sap from a nearby tree.

“What is all this for?” Mateo asked.

“The ritual.”

“Yeah, that was what I thought you would say. Does it hurt?”

“A little bit.” He sealed the coconut-like fruit he had used to gather the sap, and stood back up. “Come. We must go to the star puddle.”

“Very well.”

It took them a few hours to get all the way back. By then, it was nearing sundown, and Mateo still had no idea what was happening. Ambrosios, however, refused to offer any further explanation as he went about his work. He ordered Mateo to dig a pit in the ground while he built a fire, using the leaves as fuel. Mateo watched out of the corner of his eye as Ambrosios held the shale rock over the flames, every once in awhile using a different kind of rock to knock chips off the edge.

Finally, Mateo asked, “is this deep enough?”

Ambrosios looked over. “It’ll do.” He stoked the fire a little bit, and added a handful more of the leaves. “I’ll crouch down.”

“You’re getting in the pit? Am I getting in the pit?”

He laughed. “No, that won’t be necessary.” He took a second to inspect his heated rock, ultimately determining that that part of the job was complete. “It’s not perfect, but I am wasting no more time. We will begin.”

“How is this going to get us back to Earth?”

“What?”

“How will this weird rock-heating get us back home.”

“Oh, it’s not.” He stuck the rock in the ground and poured some of the star puddle water over it. He then started rubbing the tree sap over his whole body. As he did so, he started breathing heavily. It looked like it was burning his skin, like a volatile acid.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, it’s...I need to do this.” He poured the last of it over his head. “This is the best way to get the blood into my system.”

“What blood?”

“Yours.” He picked up the shale rock, and dragged it across Mateo’s neck before Mateo could stop him. It wasn’t pleasant, but it also didn’t hurt that badly. “What?”

Mateo tried to struggle away, but Ambrosios was too strong. “Get the hell off me!”

Ambrosios tried cutting into his neck a few more times, but nothing. It could not break the skin. “Oh, no!” He cried. Then he picked up a heavy stick and tried to bash it over Mateo’s head.

It felt like nothing too.

“No, you drank Catalyst water! When did you do that? What’s going on?”

Ambrosios finally relaxed, and Mateo took his chance to get free. “I have no idea, but I’m gonna go.”

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