Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Microstory 522: Anakro Biotech Reawakens Extinct Animals

Biogenetic engineering firm, Anakro Biotech has been working on a top secret project for the last few years. Rumors milled about that they were developing an illegal human subspecies, but the president of Anakro, Stoyan Kirchner has made an official announcement, assuring the public that this could not be further from the truth. The following are his opening statements.

When I was a child, I would sneak out of the house and visit the city’s Museum of Natural History. I thought I was pulling a fast one on my family, and the guards I stealthily snuck by to get into the building. What I found out later was that they were all in on it. My parents bought for me a secret season pass to the museum, and all the guards knew that I was actually meant to be there. They must have had a few good laughs at my terrible impression of the Agent Kangaroo cartoon as I was trying to avoid detection. I was never very interested in the future, though I recognize that a lot of what our company does involves solving the world’s problems for a better tomorrow. What I’ve always been fascinated by were extinct animals. I find it heartbreaking every time I pass a model of a northern mandible shark, or a painting of blue eyed finty. These were amazing...glorious specimens, and one thing they had in common was that they were both destroyed by human expansion, among a great deal many others. It may not be sexy, and it may not further progress for the human race, but I’m passionate about this project.

At this point, the president directs a tech to open the curtain behind him. This reveals a tank with a single swimming shark, above which is a cage with a bird in it.
The first blue eyed finty in 230 years.
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Manny, the first northern mandible shark since 1725. Above it, that ball of feathers skipping across branches and stones, is Fendor, the blue eyed finty. He’s named after my favorite high king of the Straight Arrow fantasy book series, and I promise you that he is not in distress. Fintys are known for their inability to stay in one place for too long. If they don’t find food in ten seconds, they leave...evolution’s way of playing the odds. This world has not laid its eyes on the blue eyed variety of finty since the first industrial revolution in 1598. These are just two examples of what we’ve been working on in the Special Projects Division of Anakro, engineering species that were lost to time by experimenting with trace DNA, and anecdotal accounts. They’re the only ones we felt would be comfortable enough around an audience. Over the course of the next few weeks, we will be releasing information—and yes, pictures and video—regarding our other new friends. A team is also putting the final touches on a proposal for the Worldwide Animal Guard, hoping to develop ways of reintegrating these new, but old, creatures into the ecological framework. I will now be answering questions.

To watch the full announcement, please see the embedded video below. [Not approved for Earthan viewing].

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