Showing posts with label service. Show all posts
Showing posts with label service. Show all posts

Monday, September 8, 2025

Microstory 2491: Military Dome

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Historians can’t agree on when it happened, but humanity stopped fighting wars against each other a few hundred years ago. We didn’t have this big meeting to say, “hey, let’s stop doing this.” We had lots of little agreements over the course of our shared history, which eventually led to a persistent peacetime. Still, the threat never really goes away. Disparate factions must be ready to protect their interests, and honestly, while I think most of us don’t believe in aliens, the possibility remains of a true external opposition. I mean, Castlebourne itself is not a member of the stellar neighborhood. It’s in a unique position in that it holds a very strong connection to The Core, but it does not have to follow the same laws, and conflict could arise. This is even more true of the other Charter worlds—which are even less connected to our origins—and outer bands of colonization. As our descendants develop too far away from us to share our ideals, and even our biology, we might find ourselves in wartime once more. Castlebourne recognizes this, which is why they have formed a military force. Don’t be afraid, however, as it is 100% voluntary. You don’t have to even pledge any sort of loyalty when you visit this planet. The only people who serve on the force are those who want to, and they are being trained to protect you, whether you believe in their cause, or not. I won’t give away any of our secrets, but we are rapidly becoming as advanced as Teagarden. We’re developing all the latest tech, and making all the necessary precautions. We don’t actually have to be that big to defend the planet. We’re growing so we can potentially use our numbers to defend other territories for the less fortunate, or more modestly equipped. We don’t wanna become an interstellar police force, mind you. We don’t have our hearts set on galactic domination. But if someone wants to join, we’re not going to reject them because we’re at some arbitrary capacity. There are some stipulations if you join that I’ll go over briefly, but if you’re serious about serving, you’ll want to read more in depth material. I’ll reiterate that number one is that it’s voluntary. It’s important to emphasize that because of my second point, which is that once you do join, and are officially accepted, there is a minimum service commitment, which depends on what role you perform, but the shortest term I’ve ever heard of is two years. No one is expected to make a lifelong commitment, but I believe very high ranking officials have to sign up for ten or twenty years. As virtual immortals, this may not sound like much, but the days will add up. Don’t enlist if you just want to test the waters. That’s not what we’re doing here. It’s real life, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, unless that is, you sign on that dotted line. Then you follow orders. So be sure.

Monday, September 23, 2024

Microstory 2241: Me as a Weapon

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Yo, what up, kids? My name is Dutch Haines, and I won’t take up too much of your time. People have just been asking where I came from, and I thought it might make sense to clear the air. I won’t go into too many details, to protect the innocent, and even the not so innocent. Months ago, I woke up just as I normally do, and tried to leave the house to head for work. I never made it, though. I ended up in this underground bunker, apparently on another Earth. That’s what people told me anyway. It was also centuries in the future, so maybe it was our planet the whole time. Wouldn’t that be a great twist for a movie? Anyway, there’s this weird phenomenon called Westfall, which sends people to different worlds all the time. You’re not supposed to know it’s happened, but sometimes it glitches, I guess. Don’t ask me how it works. All I know is that I was sick, kind of like Nick. I was the carrier of a disease that’s harmless to humans, but deadly to an evil race of aliens who are trying to sterilize people they don’t like all over the multiverse. The natives asked to study me and my blood so they could use me as a weapon, and sadly, I believe they got their wish. I just wanted to come clean about my part in this. It’s not like I really had a choice. Maybe the Westfall thing wasn’t a glitch. Maybe I was destined to go there for that. I dunno, but I’m hoping to make up for it, so I would like to dedicate my life to service, if you’ll have me. I’ve never been one for social media, but I’ve signed up now, so maybe y’all can follow me too, and help me figure out what I can do to help the world. I’ll hand this website back over to Nick for now, though.

Thursday, June 20, 2024

Microstory 2174: To Be Distributed

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I had my last official meeting with my parole officer today. Since my sentence has been commuted, it’s no longer a legal requirement. You’ll recall that I was only assigned one in the first place because on paper, I went to prison, I just didn’t have to literally step foot inside of the facility. Well...I mean, I did later while I was staying in the infirmary section for my fungal infection a couple of months ago, but you know what I meant by that. I still have my community service left to do, but lots of people complete their hours without a PO at all, so the judge decided that I didn’t need one either. I hope that we can still be friends, though I recognize that this may not be appropriate, nor even possible. He’s a great guy who I think goes above and beyond in his job. He’s helped me out in a number of ways that I don’t think he was ever expected to. I’ve actually met a couple of his other parolees, and he wasn’t giving me any special treatment. That’s just who he is. He actually cares about us, and wants us to succeed, and isn’t just waiting for us to screw up. He derives no joy from putting people back in jail, though it has reportedly happened a few times over his career. I dunno, maybe I’ll just never see the man again. That would be all right too. I’m starting a new chapter in my life. I have a new job, and I still have to figure out what to do with all this money that y’all donated to me. It’s processing to my account. It could be a few days until it’s fully ready to be distributed.

I have some ideas of where it’s going to go, but I still need to do the math, because it’s going to be split amongst a number of different charitable organizations. They all involve the previously incarcerated. They need jobs, homes, and therapy to help them cope with being back in a world where their daily routines are no longer being controlled by someone else. Having been in intermittent jail, I didn’t experience much of this, I only got a taste. But it’s an overlooked characteristic of prison life. Yeah, for the most part, you’re not stuck in your cell 24/7, only eating slop, and drinking contaminated water. You usually get to go outside. But only at certain times, and for a certain duration. And it can be taken away from you if you do something that they don’t like. You can’t see your friends whenever you want, you can’t even choose your sleep schedule. That’s a hard life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to go back to the way it was before you were placed in there. I feel compelled to give back, so I suppose I should thank you for contributing to my unauthorized CauseTogether campaign. Do not take that as an invitation to start a new one in my name. I won’t tolerate that a second time, I’ll seek legal action, and if nothing else, make you look bad for not respecting my wishes. If you want to do some good for the world, then that website has a number of other campaigns that will be more than willing to take your money. Or you can start your own that doesn’t have anything to do with me. That site also has other features besides just temporary campaigns, so check those out. I’ll post the complete list of the organizations that I choose for the 50K later, so you can give directly to them too. You could perform community service too. When I’m better, I’ll be going back to Homes for Humankind, which actually has a special program that focuses on halfway homes, which have more specific needs. I’ll probably be giving them some money too. I know that it’s not an either-or situation, where you either donate or volunteer, but it does feel like I should kind of share the wealth a little more, doesn’t it?

Thursday, May 30, 2024

Microstory 2159: Can’t Ever Be Happy

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Yesterday evening, I had my usual meeting with my therapist. We talked about the storm a little, but it was mostly about the volunteer work I’ve been doing. It was no big secret that I got an early jump on my community service due to the traumatizing meat-eating incident the other day. She was able to piece together that I’ve been pretty depressed about it, and I think I knew that; I just didn’t want to think about it. I’ve been filling my days with tons of stuff to do so that my brain doesn’t get a chance to stop and ponder my life choices. It’s been really hard on me. I feel like I’m an addict, and I just had a relapse. It’s super not the same thing as a real addiction, like drugs, or sex, or even food in general. I made a decision to become a vegetarian for several reasons, none of which was that it was harming my life, or causing issues with others. Even so, I made a commitment to stop, and I broke that promise to myself. It can’t be reversed. It will always mark a new beginning, but in a bad way. The streak cannot be repaired, no matter how long I live without ever doing it again. And that sucks. It’s gonna take a lot, and a lot of time, for me to be able to move past it, especially since depression always reinforces itself with dark thoughts on other things. I start to think about every bad thing that has happened to me in my life, and all the mistakes that I’ve made. I dwell on it, and everything negative. My therapist tried to figure out what brings me out of my funks, but I don’t know that anything ever really has. It just kind of stays with me. It subsides after things regress towards the mean, but I can’t ever be happy. Happiness is a concept that I only understand through the lens of relativity. I’ve been happier at times than at other times, but true contentment sounds impossible, and if you tell me that you’ve experienced it, I may not believe it. If you tell me that you’re in the middle of experiencing it, I can’t promise that I won’t punch you in the face, so just don’t give me that BS. Sorry, didn’t mean to become so violent, but it’s impossible to delete my words, so I won’t. I just don’t care for braggers. We get it, you love life, now shut up about it, and leave me to brood in the shadows.

Friday, May 24, 2024

Microstory 2155: Tiny Home Community

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You’ll recall that I was planning to put off my community service hours until I was finished with my jail time. This was the best decision at the time, because it meant that I wasn’t trying to pile everything on all at once. If I had tried to rush through it, I would have gotten burnt out, and probably had a nervous breakdown. Other than that, though, there’s no other reason that I can’t start working through my hours earlier if I want. Before I get into it, I have one last update about that business deal that I’ve been working on. They pulled out of it. Completely. They made it quite clear that there was no legal issue, and that the whole reason they’ve changed their minds is because of my post last night. They asked me to eat steak with them, because that’s traditionally what they do after a handshake. I felt pressured to go along with it, even though I’m vegetarian, but they don’t see it that way. I’m an adult, and I made a decision, and I could have declined. Except I did try to decline, and they kept pushing and pushing. Still, they don’t want to work with me anymore, because I made them look bad. I pointed out that I never mentioned them by name, but they volleyed that I eventually would have, when I started to promote them, and that’s a good point. I must say, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it’s probably for the best that we don’t associate with each other, whoever they were—I’ll never tell. On the other hand, I ate meat for no reason now, destroying my five year streak, and making me feel even worse about myself. If I could go back in time, I would have politely rejected their initial proposal, and then just moved on with my life. I’m gaining not only new readers, but also new subscribers. I have a good job in addition to this side hustle. I really don’t think anything else on top of that.

I still feel pretty crappy about the situation, so I decided I needed to do something about it. A long, long time ago, in a universe far, far away, I used to volunteer all the time. It came so naturally to me that I barely thought about it. That was one good thing about the scouts, because if not for them, or for church, I might not have done any, because, well...I wasn’t thinking about it. I didn’t have to go to the opportunities. They always came to me. Despite the fact that I’m now required by law to participate in community service, it’s not that easy. The court isn’t going to send me a list of places where I can volunteer, and they’re certainly not going to coordinate it for me. I have to reach out to the organizations myself, and have them approved by my parole officer, Leonard. That’s mostly a formality, because the only reason he would reject a particular proposal is if I’m being asked to do dumb, pointless, or unhelpful work. Good, non-scammy organizations who legitimately need help should be fair game. I forgot to say anything to Leonard beforehand, because I wasn’t initially planning on starting my service so soon, but I called him after, and the eight hours I earned will still count just fine. Homes for Humankind is presently building a tiny home community not too far from me on the Missouri side. It’s for people of low or no income, who need a place to live, but don’t need their homes to be lavish and expensive. I spent a half day cutting wood, and drilling screws. Most of the other dozen or so volunteers were highly experienced with this standardized model, so they went fast, and had a shorthand with each other. They were wary of me, but I have my own experience with this sort of thing, so I kept up. We still got the whole unfurnished product done in a day. I’ll help build another next week.

Friday, April 5, 2024

Microstory 2120: Expect Me to Be Grateful

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My Rehabilitation Plan ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. I just kept thinking of more detail that I wanted to include, and one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to writing is cutting out what I’ve already written. That’s why these posts are usually so short, if you can believe the irony. If I wrote everything that happened to me in a given day, then it would end up two or three pages long. The only way to produce it with only the relevant information is to make my cuts before I even start writing. I try to think about only what’s important, and ignore all the little things that readers won’t find interesting anyway. I guess I end up going overboard with this, since it’s not that hard to refrain from transcribing the unnecessary thoughts when I focus so much on just the important stuff. But, so you have an idea, my basic plan is to attend weekend jail for about the next five months until I’ve completed my thousand hours. I’m going to focus on finding and keeping a job on the weekdays, which means putting the community service off until I’m finished with jail. That will make the schedule much simpler, and less stressful. Plus, the therapy isn’t something that I can put off, because it’s crucial to my consistent progress, so I’ll be signing up for evening sessions, depending on what my work hours end up being. I don’t think that it will be that difficult to find something this time around. My readership is growing day by day, and people are already contacting me about open positions. Some are from people who are just aware that such jobs exist, but a few are actual employers with the power to fill those positions. It’s weird to see these messages. I’ve never been recruited before. In the past, companies would always expect me to be grateful just that they gave me the time of day. I don’t have time to look through them yet, so the job hunt starts first thing Monday. Until then, I’ll be in jail. In fact, my ride is waiting. See you on the other side.

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Microstory 2119: A Rehabilitation Plan

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Without proceeding to a full trial, I’ve been sentenced to 1,000 hours of jail time, and 1,000 hours of community service. There’s a lot of flexibility with this that I did not expect. I can go to jail for 42 days straight if I want, and then start doing my community service. I can stay in jail every night, but spend my days performing acts of service. I can spend six months in weekend jail while I work during the week, which will allow me some time to volunteer in the evenings, but I can also put it off until I have more time. I could even put jail itself off completely for six whole months, which I don’t really want to do. I would rather get it over with. That doesn’t mean I’ll be serving my time straight, though. I still want to work on my blog, and keep up with the world, which I won’t be able to do if I’m stuck in there for all that time. I first have to draw up a Rehabilitation Plan, which includes these two things, plus therapy, an active search for gainful employment, and of course, a detailed strategy for nonrecidivism. It’s not like I can do it one way, and then change my mind later. I have to decide now, which is what I’ll be working on for the next couple of days before I have to report to jail for the first time. Regardless of what I end up choosing, I’ll be going inside tomorrow night at exactly 19:00. They have to process me first, and then release me on Sunday at the earliest, if I’ve opted to go for an intermittent plan, which I will. I already have some ideas involving finding a home that’s close to where I work, and not still not buying a car, which will make it difficult for me to leave town again. As you know, I didn’t have a car before, but I was able to make it work with public transportation, so this isn’t like a perfect solution, but it’s a start. The state is trusting me with a lot of freedom, and I’m not going to do anything to suggest that it was a mistake on their part. Once I’m finished with my plan, it might be fun to post it here, even if only a truncated version of it. It could be pretty long. The court is actually encouraging me to stay online, to document my journey, and to garner public support for my recovery. I certainly don’t have a problem with that. If I can gain enough followers, I can actually start making money off of this site from the advertisements, which could really help if I really struggle with finding a regular job. So, as I think I’ve said before, read my ish! Early and often.

Tuesday, November 21, 2023

Microstory 2022: Illinois

After he was done with the Navy, papa needed a place to live. He thought about just staying in Arkansas, or even going all the way over to Montana. He said it would have been a full circle, since that’s where he first grew up. He narrowed his decision down to two choices, which was to move back closer to his parents in Idaho, or to Indiana, where his sister lived with her family. The two of them had grown even closer over the last few years, and he loved his nephews. They had just had their second son, so he decided to choose Indiana. He needed a job, though. Most people who need jobs have to go out and look for them. These days, they will go on the internet, and search for anyone who is hiring, but this was back in 2002, so people weren’t doing that very much yet. And anyway, my papa didn’t need to look himself. Companies were actually calling him to offer him a job. He had a really good education, and his time in the military made bosses know that he would be loyal and trustworthy. He ended up reconnecting with a guy who he knew who once worked for the Coast Guard. They also work on the water, but have different jobs. This former Coast Guard Lieutenant Commander had started his own business that wanted to build new kinds of submarines, and he would be testing them in Lake Michigan. My papa was perfect for the job, because that’s exactly what he learned in school, and in the Navy. He ended up living in Chicago on the Illinois side of the border, but he was still less than a half hour away from my Aunt Cooper. We’re still a Chicago family. I’ve gone there myself many times, even though I live in Massachusetts.

Monday, November 20, 2023

Microstory 2021: Tennessee

Papa was only an active member of the Navy for four years. He thought about staying in, but ended up not. It’s all because of something he did as his required time was ending. He was still in the reserves after this, but he wasn’t working on the sub anymore. While he was trying to make a decision, friends of his from college called him up, and asked him if he wanted to work with them on a mission trip in Tennessee. They were Mormons, and they were doing it for their church, but that wasn’t going to be what the trip was about. There was an old folks home in a small town outside of Memphis. He was in Arkansas at the time, so he wasn’t very far away. That’s probably why they called him. He took a bus to the home, and got to work. The people who owned it didn’t have very much money, and they were having trouble keeping their residents comfortable. Don’t worry, they all always had their medicine and stuff, but there were other issues. They couldn’t afford plants, or nice paintings for the walls. The biggest issue was the courtyard, which is a space that is outside, but it has walls around it. Residents can go and sit down and enjoy being outside, but it wasn’t very pretty at this place. I don’t think my papa spent much time on that, though. He basically became a volunteer handyman. While the others were planting trees, he fixed things around the building, because he was an engineer. What he said was that this was an eye-opening experience. He wanted to spend more time doing things like that. Of course he was helping people when he was serving this country, but he decided that there were things that he should do outside of it. That’s what led him to leaving the Navy, as an active officer at least.

Friday, November 17, 2023

Microstory 2020: Indiana

My Aunt Cooper has three children, who are all boys, and they’re my cousins. Her first was born in the year 2000. She was 29 years old, and she lived with her new husband in a city called Gary, Indiana. Even though it’s located in Indiana, it’s really close to the border with Illinois, so it’s considered part of Chicago, which is a really big city next to Lake Michigan. While my papa was in the Navy, he was busy with his work most of the time, but he didn’t have to spend all the time working. Officers get to take time off just like regular people, except unlike them who get vacations, people in the military take something called leave. Specifically, since he was in the Navy, he was on shore leave. He decided to fly up to Gary to spend some time with his sister, and their new baby. My cousin is 12 years older than me, but we’re really close. After my papa was done with his required service, he retired and moved to Chicago to be closer to his sister. And years later, when he decided to move to Massachusetts, they all did the same thing he did, and moved with him. They lived in separate houses, though. But I’m getting ahead of myself, because none of that has happened in the story yet. My cousin’s name is Nash Ruskin. His father’s name is Currian Ruskin, and I love him too. My other cousins’ names are Osmond and Thatcher, but they haven’t been born yet. My papa was only allowed to spend five days there, since two of them were spent traveling to and from Indiana, but he enjoyed it, and he got to go back a few times before moving closer anyway.

Thursday, November 16, 2023

Microstory 2019: Arkansas

It makes sense that papa lived in Texas, because it’s next to the ocean. He worked on a submarine, so Corpus Christi was the perfect location. That’s why it’s so weird that he was later moved by the Navy to Arkansas. Arkansas is what’s called a landlocked state, because it doesn’t border the ocean. Most of the states in the United States are like this. But that doesn’t mean there’s no water, of course. It has lakes, and the really long Mississippi River, which is between it and Mississippi. We don’t have much information, because like I said, the military has to be really secretive, but after papa died, my dad and I were looking through his things when we found something interesting. It was a photo of him and some of his Navy buddies when they were young. They were smiling in front of the river, and what looked like a boat behind them. Except that the boat wasn’t above the water very much. It actually looked like a submarine! The Mississippi River is pretty deep, but not really deep enough for a normal sub. Again, no one can tell us anything, so shh, be quiet, but we think that he was testing special technology. They might have come up with a submarine that can move in shallower waters. It would be interesting to know if they could get something like that to work. *winky face*

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

Microstory 2018: Texas

After my papa was finished with his education at the Naval academy, he didn’t go back home. He was stationed in Corpus Christi, Texas. He couldn’t tell me exactly what he did while he was there, because the military keeps all of that secret, so this is going to be another really short slide. He was able to say that he lived there for only a year before he was moved somewhere else, which he said was unusual in the Navy. I don’t think that he was always on a submarine. I think that maybe he spent a lot of time carrying out missions on dry land. I even think they sometimes sent him out of the country, but he hadn’t met his husband yet, so he didn’t have to lie to anyone about it, since his parents still lived in Idaho anyway.

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Microstory 2017: Rhode Island

After my papa was finished with college, instead of going out to get a job, he decided to attend a place called Watch Hill Naval Academy. He had to take more classes in order to learn how to be an officer in the Navy and work in a submarine. From the records that my dad found, papa first took a 3 month course to teach him what it’s like to be a military officer. After that, he spent another 6 months learning about nuclear power, which sounds really scary and cool. Then after that, he spent another 6 months using what he learned working at an actual nuclear power plant. Finally, after all that, he got on a sub to learn to operate it with a crew of other officers. Submarines are really dangerous, and hard to use. That’s why he had to spend so much time learning these skills, because if someone messes up on a submarine, it could mean everyone on it dying all at once. Unlike the way it is on a ship, if something goes wrong in a sub, you can’t jump off and swim away. Not only can you not breathe underwater, but the water is really heavy, and it hurts for it to be on top of you when you go deeper and deeper. My papa was really smart, and he also cared about people, which is why he wanted to use his engineering degree to protect this country, and make the world a better place. I’m so proud of him, and I wish I had known all of this about him before. The military is a noble and difficult profession. Probably no one in our class will join the military, but if it turns out to be true, it will only probably be one of us, according to the math.

Thursday, May 11, 2023

The Advancement of Mateo Matic: March 8, 2399

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What Leona and Mateo learned when they tried to explore the upper levels was that all ways up were locked. Alyssa was gone by then, so they couldn’t ask her if she had anything to do with that, and if not, if she could transport them up just to see. They’ll have to get a professional to help them break through, because Alyssa granted Leona temporal energy. This should give her the ability to generate illusions, but it also means that they can’t teleport. Is Alyssa becoming an antagonist, like the Cleanser and so many others before? Different enemies have had different motivations, and different tactics, but one thing they’ve had in common is that they like to come up with arbitrary rules and limitations only to make the team’s lives harder, not usually because of any inherent unbreakable law of the universe. They hope to get her back on their side one day, but they’re prepared for the possibility that it may never happen. They are under the impression that they’ll work together on a permanent basis in the future, but time is in constant flux, and perhaps they were mistaken about the truth of that the entire time.
The doorbell rings, sending an alert to their phones, despite the fact that they never set up any sort of smarthome connections. The couple found a furnished bedroom near the back of the building to sleep in. It was the only one of its kind, leading them to believe that it was made that way specifically for them. Someone constructed this place, and they did so while it was both invisible and soundproof to the rest of New York. Friend or foe, it’s not random. They know what Leona was planning.
As they’re walking through the lobby, they can see two people through the glass doors. One is an IRB agent—or whatever it is they’re called—and the other is an oldish man holding a black bag that kind of makes him look like an old-fashioned doctor making a housecall. It must be the locksmith. Leona answers with a smile. “Hello.”
“Hi, ma’am, I’m Evander Martinez from Evandoor Locksmiths. I was called to get you into some rooms?”
“Floors, more like it,” Leona replies.
“Ma’am, where is Leona Matic?” the IRB agent asks.
“She’s busy with another project.”
“I would really rather speak with her, so I can be sure that this operation is authorized,” the agent requests.
Leona and Mateo exchange a worried look, then Leona sighs. I will go see if I can find her. It may take a little time.”
“We’ll wait.”
“Are you sure?” Mateo asks his wife. If she’s going to attempt to create an illusion mere millimeters from her skin for the first time, she may need, or want, some help.
“I’ll be all right,” she says.
Evander holds up his passport as Leona is walking away.
“We don’t need to see that,” Mateo says to him.
“I promise, I’m all up to code,” Evander says.
“I’m sure you are.”
“I’m willing to sign a nondisclosure agreement,” he continues.
“That will not be...” Leona hears Mateo say as she’s leaving the area. She assumes that his last word was necessary, and she’s wondering if Mr. Evander has some more things to say about this situation. He seems curious and interested, and nonjudgmental.
She rounds the last corner, enters the bathroom, and takes a breath in front of the mirror. She tries to shake the nerves and anxiety out of her body. “Okay, Leona, you can do this. It’s you. All you have to do is make yourself look like you. You know exactly what you look like, right? Who knows your face better than you? No one, that’s who.” She shakes some more, and jumps up and down like an athlete pumping themselves up before the big game. “All right, here we go.” Nothing happens. She doesn’t feel a thing, causing her to worry that Alyssa just shot some pretty lights into her chest, and didn’t give her any temporal energy at all. It was all just a weird joke. She’ll never know unless this works, at least a little bit. “I see now, that was asking a lot. Don’t change your whole body, or even your face. Hair color. You have red hair. Change your hair to red. Do it. Do it. Change your hair. Make it red.” She rolls her eyes, and turns away in frustration. “Here I am, trying to wiggle my big toe like Beatrix Kiddo.”
Leona glances back at the mirror, sure that nothing’s changed, and who should be staring back at her, but none other than Uma Thurman. She jumps back in fright, not because she’s afraid of Uma Thurman, but because she didn’t expect it to happen. It didn’t feel like she was changing. Though, that’s the thing, this isn’t shapeshifting. A perfect hologram of someone else has been wrapped around her body, but you can’t touch light, so it shouldn’t feel like anything. “Well, that sure is something, isn’t it? Problem is, I don’t think these people have seen Kill Bill. I need to look like Leona Matic.” She turns away again. “Here I am, trying to look like Leona Matic like...like Alyssa McIver.” She faces the mirror again, but she’s still Uma Thurman. “So those aren’t the magic words, it’s something else.”
Mateo enters the bathroom, startling her again. “How is it going, honey?”
“Why are you here?”
“I was worried about you.”
“I’ve been gone for, like, two minutes. It’s a big building, and we have access to a few floors.”
“Leona, you’ve been gone for more like twenty minutes.”
What? “Crap!” She realizes something as she’s looking at her watch. He didn’t seem to notice that he was talking to Uma Thurman. That’s because she doesn’t look like her anymore. She’s back to being Alyssa. Cool, so she can look like anyone but herself. “Are they pissed?”
“I let them in.” He shows her the security feed from his phone, which also just magically appeared when he needed it. “They’re sitting comfortably in the lobby.”
Leona nods, but she doesn’t really care. She’s not having a good time. “I don’t know if I can do this, Matty.”
He smiles kindly at her, and leans forward, planting a soft but passionate kiss upon her lips. When he separates from her, he’s looking at his wife. He smiles again.
Leona sees herself in the mirror. “How did you know that would work?”
“You’ve always disliked being affectionate with me in other people’s bodies. And hey, if it didn’t work, at least I would have gotten to feel what it’s like to smooch Alyssa McIver.”
“We are not using this power for roleplay.”
“No, ma’am,” he says with a faux serious face. He’s not so sure about that.
They leave the bathroom, and return to the lobby where they find the agent and locksmith unperturbed by the amount of time that took. Leona reintroduces herself, and assures the agent that he is free to go. They’ll be fine. If Evander the Locksmith turns out to be Evander the Assassin, she’ll just make herself look like a rageing gorilla, or something.
Once the agent leaves, they lead Evander up the stairs to the locked door that should take them to the residential levels. The first few levels are an assortment of offices, and similar spaces, and they combine to span the entire width and length of the plot of land. The upper levels are called spokes, but they could be thought of as wings. There are six of these spokes, in between which is open space. On top of the bottom levels is a roof that could be used for a garden, or short walking paths. This is very similar to main sequence architecture for standard megastructure arcologies, except half the size. Those are two kilometers tall, with twelve extra long spokes. The first levels are larger too, of course, and serve as communal areas for eating, socializing, and their form of shopping, which obviously doesn’t involve the exchange of money for goods.
It takes the man a good hour to break through. The lock was reportedly extremely complicated, and he apparently only kept going this far, because Leona is the king of the whole country. She tried to correct his perception, but he’s just one person. If that’s what people think of her, then she has an image problem, and she may need to think about hiring a publicist. Evander tried to step away to give them some privacy, but they ask him to press on, in case there are any more unruly doors they need through. They don’t need privacy anyway. All of this is going to become public knowledge at some point, as long as they clear any other hurdles standing in Leona’s way of doing with the building as she wants. If it doesn’t work out, then it really doesn’t matter what’s behind these doors.
They step through cautiously, and walk down the hallway. Everything appears as they expected except for the inside of each room. They’re of the refugee model, which is exactly what Leona was thinking for her goals, but main sequence arcologies have never really needed them. A basic rule of thumb is that a cuboid unit accommodates a single person. Now, that may mean that a hypothetical individual lives alone in a studio apartment layout, or it could be a family of five with a kitchen, a living room, a master bedroom, two bedrooms and a turfed lawn for a dog. That adds up to six units, but couples could also fit in a studio, or a family of six may only need four units. It’s the average that counts, and for the most part, the math works out pretty well, which is why estimating residential capacity is generally pretty accurate for these structures, even though they’re so customizable. Each unit is exactly the same size and shape.
The bottom floors were mostly not furnished, except for a few places here and there, like that little bedroom, one bathroom, and enough of the lobby to get by. The first unit they walk into is fully stocked with enough bunk beds for eight people. If they’re all like this, then we’re talking well over 600,000 potential residents. The bottom floors could be used for services, socializing, and recreation, but any unused rooms could be fitted with bunks as well to house even more people. They haven’t even checked for a basement.  Leona doesn’t know who might need to live in these units one day, but it may not be long before they can move in. The three of them spread out down the hallway, and check other rooms. They’re bunked up too. They manage to get the elevator working, and choose random levels to explore as well. All bunked up. All of them.
“Someone put a lot of effort into this,” Leona notes. “That’s either really good, or it’s really bad.”
“Perfect,” Mateo says sarcastically. “Another mystery. Add it to the pile.”

Wednesday, March 23, 2022

Microstory 1848: Rehabilitator

Everyone believes that Landis Tipton was the first open voldisil in the world, but that’s not true. He’s not even the first healer, though we could argue semantics all day. Landis became famous because he knew how to leverage a business opportunity, and grow his brand. But the man I want to talk about to you today didn’t have that. He wasn’t flashy or sexy. What he did was painful, and comparatively slow, and it was a thankless job. It also wasn’t necessarily permanent. His patients had to work very hard to prevent themselves from falling into the same old habits. He cured them of their affliction, to be sure, but whatever caused them to walk down that path in the first place, it could happen again, or something else could do the same. He didn’t have control over their actions. I understand that, in my final moments, I’m meant to talk about myself, but I feel obligated to tell his story since apparently, no one else has before. As I’ve said, he didn’t become famous, and that’s a damn shame. Still, it’s probably reasonable for me to start the tale from a personal place. I was always very curious and experimental. According to my mother, I burned each hand on the stovetop two days in a row. A normal person—even one so young—will not be fooled twice by the same consequences. But I guess I couldn’t help myself. Sure, it burned me the first time, but why would that mean it would burn me again? In the era that I was growing up, it was perfectly normal for a child to go off on their own, on their bicycle, or whathaveyou. I was particularly bad about this, though, getting much farther away from the safe zone than I really should have. I loved to explore, and I never got lost, but my personality is what got me into trouble. I fell into the world of drugs when I was thirteen years old. I didn’t surrender to peer pressure, or need to destress. If I hadn’t tried a drug before, I figured I might as well, because what was the worst that could happen? Obviously, a lot. I was an addict.

Notice that I say that I was an addict, because I’m not anymore. Normally, that wouldn’t be accurate; someone like me would be in recovery, but would live the rest of their lives with that mark, and at a greater risk of backsliding. I don’t have to worry about that, because I rid myself of all temptation. Rather, I should say, The Rehabilitator did it for me. He had the special spirit ability to alter the neural chemistry of a client, as well as any physical dependence that they were experiencing. He could remove any addiction from you. I would know, he did it for me. I won’t tell you how I hit rock bottom, because I like to focus on the positive, and he positively fixed me. No more urges, no more second nature routines. I wasn’t disgusted by drugs, like other addiction therapies try to do for you, but I felt no need for them anymore. I returned a few weeks after my very cheap session to thank him for what he did for me. My life was on track. I was rebuilding relationships with people I had pushed away, and I had just gotten the perfect job. We were never great friends, but I stopped by to say hello and chat over the years. He kept doing his thing for other people. He would charge them pennies for a service that literally only he could provide. He could barely make ends meet, but the way he explained it to me, his clients were at their lowest, and charging them a premium would have needlessly made it harder on them. He died a few years ago. His obituary was short, but hundreds of people went to his funeral. The paper didn’t bother investigating why. He was a great man who deserved so much better. I owe him the last forty years of my life.

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Microstory 1813: Niche Market

I don’t know why my parents chose to live in a neighborhood with so many old people, but it inspired a business opportunity that taught me the skills that I would need later in life. We were rich, so that wasn’t a problem, but I wanted to make my own money without their help, and I didn’t want to do that just by flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but growing up with my lifestyle, it would have looked like I was just trying to rebel. I also needed to do something interesting, so I could put it on my college application. When I said we were rich, I didn’t mean that we were one of the families that ruled the world. My dad couldn’t just write a check to an Ivy League school, and get me into any program. I still had to prove myself, and my academic record was average to slightly above average. One day, I was watering the flowers in my mother’s front garden when I noticed the old lady next door receiving a pizza delivery for the third time this week. She didn’t seem like the type to like that kind of food; not that much anyway. I hadn’t seen any teenagers come and go, so it just looked really weird. I thought about asking her about it, but that could be embarrassing for her, so I just tried to put it out of my mind. A few days later, the delivery boy was back, so I decided to confront him about it. He told me that he didn’t really know, but she made it sound like she couldn’t get her own food because of her mobility issues. When she was having trouble with her hips, she just ordered in, and since she didn’t like Chinese food, pizza was the only choice. The only choice? That was a travesty. Someone ought to do something about that, I figured. I was technically someone.

I had just turned sixteen, and had my own car. I could have easily been a delivery boy, but working for one store would not have solved the problem that this woman was facing. So instead of going to the restaurants, I went straight to the people in the community. With help, I compiled a list of the oldest and least mobile people in my neighborhood. Then I just knocked on their doors, and pitched them my business plan. It was simple. When they needed food—and they didn’t want pizza or Chinese—they could call me with their order. I would drive to the restaurant myself, and bring it back to them. I charged them fifty cents for the service, which was a lot more than the pizza joints were charging for it in 1964, but I was providing them an unprecedented convenience. I could travel to any place in a twenty-mile radius that had a pick-up option. I even later expanded my partner list by convincing sitdown restaurants to make an exception for me. I mostly worked by myself, but my older sister helped me out when her school was on break. If any of this sounds familiar, that’s because this sort of thing happens all the time now. There are a handful of companies that provide the same thing with an application on your phone. It’s so common now, it’s hard to believe that it ever wasn’t. I laugh when people ask me whether I think all those companies stole my idea. No, I wouldn’t say so. I was in such a niche market, and before all that technology. You can’t really say they were much alike. I never would have thought to grow that large. It was just about making a little cash, and giving me an edge for college applications. I shuttered my small business when that actually came to fruition, but that experience gave me insight that my business school classmates didn’t have. I did well, and learned everything I needed to know to start my nationwide flower delivery service.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Microstory 1708: Auriga Itineraries

When I graduated from college, the first thing I wanted to do was reward myself with a trip to Europe. I wanted the full experience; the hostels, the backpacking, the food. I wanted to be surprised, and have an adventure. It was one of the most expensive mistakes of my life. The hostel was disgusting, and I felt unsafe at every second. As it turns out, I’m not much of a hiker. And I seemed to always get bad advice about where to eat. I was listening to the wrong people, and making the wrong decisions. What I didn’t use better was the internet. I didn’t look up reviews of places, and find out where exactly I should go. I didn’t learn enough about customs and conventions, and I was totally lost the whole time. I never want that to happen to you, and while you could go off and look up all this information yourself, why bother? Hi, my name is Malone Lamb, and I would like to be your next trip planner. At Auriga Itineraries, we know that when you’re on vacation, all you want is to relax and have fun. You shouldn’t worry about being overcharged, underserviced, or mistreated. So, what is it we do here? Well, we help you get to where you’re going, and have the best experience possible...for your budget. You pick the place, we handle everything else. Want to go to Asia? We can do that. We’ll find the best flight with the best airline. Africa more your speed? We book flights there too. Europe? South America? Even Antarctica. For us, nothing is off the map. We know where all the happening spots are. We know where you can enjoy the most delectable local pleasures. (Or the usual tastes of home, if you just want a break.) So come on down to Auriga Itineraries, where we...roll you to your destiny.

How was that? No, I don’t think it’s racist to have African people doing their traditional dances behind me. Well, it’s a watermark, because I can’t afford to buy the stock footage. Do you have any idea how much that costs? If it were illegal, then they wouldn’t use a watermark at all, the video just wouldn’t be available until you click purchase. Obviously the idea was to shoot on location, but I’m just starting out, so I can only afford this green blanket. What do you mean, you don’t know what the business does? I told you the other day. I can’t fit all that in the commercial, it’s only thirty seconds long. I think I said everything that needs to be in there. We plan people’s vacations; booking flights and hotels, finding attractions and activities the client would like. We tailor every trip to their particular proclivities. I don’t know how we’ll find out, I suppose we’ll ask them questions. Yeah, I guess I could come up with a questionnaire, but I don’t know how to do that, do you? They should make a company that does what I do, except they help you write questionnaires and stuff. Look, I don’t pay you to poke holes in my advertisements. I pay you to get me on TV so I can start drumming up some business. Yeah, the check’s gonna bounce, because I don’t have any customers yet! That’s why I told you to wait a month! Of course other companies do what I do, I never claimed to have invented the industry. What sets me apart is that I handle every case personally. Yes, you’re right, I shouldn’t say that they’ll come down to us since we operate only online. See? This is good, these are good notes. I could do without the criticisms and judgments, though. I’m trying to do something with my life, and help people who might need it. If I could just get one client, I know that word will spread, and they’ll start showing up by the bucketful. Now help me tweak this commercial.

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Microstory 1539: The Case for Skipping College

I did not like ________, so I’m not sure why I’m being asked to attend ________, let alone speak to my ________ class about some nonsense or ________. I wasn’t bullied, or ________, but I was always very ________. The subject ________ never mattered to me, and I barely ever tried. You can actually make pretty good ________ as a car ________. Some treat it as this really ____y job you have to get if you’re not ________, but that is not ________. First of all, you do ________ have to be educated; it’s just the kind you’re not going to get from ________ school. Sure, some ________ have special programs, but that takes up a lot of ________, and costs ________. It’s much easier to ________ by having a car—preferably a really old and beat up ________ that needs a lot of ________—and working on it on your ________. I could not convince my ________ to let me opt out of college, but I’m doing it ________, so they’ve pretty much disowned me. They’re only here ________ because they’re hoping ________ across this stage is somehow going to magically change my ________. It’s not. I’m not going to spend ________ years and thousands of ________on a waste of ________. It’s 20__, we don’t have to do this stuff anymore. Plenty of ________ don’t go to ________, and they lead very ________ lives. Not ________ can be the CEO of a multinational ________, and it’s foolish to dig yourself into a mountain of ________ just on the fraction of a ________ chance that it all comes ________ for you. I choose to be ____istic, and I won’t ________. Don’t worry, I’m not going to say any of this during my ________ speech. I just have to get it out so it doesn’t weigh on me. The ________ is that I don’t care about any of ________, or any of these ________, and nor do ________ care about ________. I was only asked to speak because I managed to ________ up the highest number of ________ service hours. I did it on my own, and didn’t tell my ________ in the hopes that she would have me recognized. I was just trying to explain why I never got into ________ or other after school ________, because I was too busy. I don’t know how to talk about ________, or the things that I ________. I was just trying to ________, and the way I see it, getting ________ for it publicly defeats a lot of the reason I do it. So, what do you ________? What should I tell these numbnuts that’s both what they want to ________, and what still lets me stay true to ________?

Monday, August 10, 2020

Microstory 1426: Mad Dog’s Growing Army

By the year 2042, Madoc Raptis had transformed thirteen people into mages. Most of them decided to join his little army, but not all of them. Vaion Newport, his first one, was determined to prove himself worthy of protecting the border against external threats. Maybe his powers wouldn’t help him do this, but there were plenty of other ways to fight. Some time monsters even responded better to physical combat, rather than special temporal abilities, and that was how people handled them long ago, before they fully understood how special some of the unborn children were. Two others chose to use their gifts in other ways; neither for the border, nor Madoc, and that was fine. Madoc wasn’t expecting anyone to be particularly loyal to him. He just wanted them to be honorable, and productive members of society. Ageless Ecrin Cabral—having been sourced by Orabela before the first Mage Games—had a choice of where she operated. She became a bit of a floater, helping people wherever she felt she was needed the most, and this often meant sticking with Madoc’s group. So in total, there were now eleven, which brought their number up to the same as the source mages themselves. Vaion was the only person who Madoc gave what boiled down to a useless power. Being the lucky one, he only ever sourced powerful and formidable abilities, even though he randomized them, and never controlled who received what. So his army was now almost evenly matched with the sources. This didn’t mean they were going to war against each other, but it was still an important occasion. The source mages were not perfect people, or gods. They were fallible, dangerous, and at risk of becoming corrupted. Madoc knew that this could become a problem, so in 2042, he released them from their attachment to him. He would continue to source one new mage every single year, and encourage them to join what was being called Mad Dog’s Army, but he made no requirements of them. He did not give them orders, or ask them to protect the source mages’ interests. In fact, he didn’t want them to do that at all. They should be there to protect the balance. They kept his name, but anything more could be considered a conflict of interest. This army was a lot more versatile than a simple military outfit. No single title would describe it thoroughly, and unambiguously, so the word army was good enough. They went on offensive missions against the time monsters, yes, but they also handled internal affairs in the same way a police force on Earth would. Much of what they did was completely nonviolent too, like when they used their powers to construct buildings, or complete other acts of public service. They even helped protect the towns’ borders, though they generally preferred to leave that responsibility to the other mages. This group continued to grow over the years, and when the Mage Protectorate fell, there were over fifty of them, all of which were considered to be the elites. It was a much coveted role, and almost no one who wanted to be part of it was selected.

Saturday, July 11, 2020

Varkas Reflex: Vacuum (Part VI)

Hokusai didn’t know what was wrong with this planet, or why it suddenly needed her help. She made a point of staying out of its business, requesting that Pribadium not bother her with such matters while they were working, or visiting. She was worried, though, that someone had decided to use her technology for evil, or maybe even just something misguided, which could have similar negative results. Katica led her down the hallway, out of the lab, across the way, and into the Capitol building.
Councilor Gangsta Dazzlemist was waiting for them in the lobby. “You were right. She got here fast.”
“May I ask what this is about?” Hokusai looked around at the walls, as if this were a trick, and the building would collapse in on her like something out of a space war movie.
Gangsta breathed in deeply, and Hokusai wasn’t sure what he did with the air, because it never seemed to come out. “I’m retiring from public service.”
“Congratulations,” Hokusai said to him sincerely.
“We need a replacement,” he went on.
Hokusai nodded. Now, she was literally a genius, and her intellect wasn’t limited to knowing how to calculate the Roche limit, or observational time through relativistic speeds. She picked up on social cues much easier than the average person, allowing her to tease out an individual’s subtext, and know when someone was lying. So when Gangsta told her they were looking for a replacement, she immediately understood he wasn’t just posting an update about his life in person. His microexpressions, coupled with the fact that they had lifted her exile, meant that she was here for a very specific reason. They were asking her to be that replacement. She didn’t know why, though. “I don’t know how I could do it. I live twenty-two parsecs away.”
He pointed at her with an upwards-facing palm. “Obviously not.”
“It’s this whole thing.”
“I understand,” Gangsta began, “that you did not simply stumble upon dimensional gravity, Madam Gimura. No one has ever done anything like it. They weren’t even looking for it. I don’t know what you are, and I don’t know how many others there are like you. I don’t really care. You’ve given us so much, and we gladly accept it. But please, do not think me a fool. I know you’re more than just a scientist, and that your expertise goes far beyond artificial gravity. I am in so much awe of you, and I will not tell anyone what little I know of your secret, including your ability to teleport between star systems.”
“It means a lot, hearing you say that,” she said, again, sincerely.
“You are not only my choice to replace me. You’re almost everybody’s.”
“How’s that?”
“Someone leaked your trial,” Katica explained. “They know who you are, and what you’ve done for them.” Leak was a strong word. The governments decided a long time ago that court cases should no longer have audiences. They were still mostly public record—unless the transparency endangered lives—but without the spectacle, those involved generally found the process to be fairer. Still, the information didn’t need to be leaked. It just required someone with the motives to raise their voice loud enough for people to hear it. Combined with artificial intelligences, there were now tens of billions of “people” in the stellar neighborhood. So being a loud voice was pretty hard. A public figure with as many fans as the most famous on Earth in 2016 would be barely considered a local celebrity by today’s standards. Any rando capable of getting a whole planet—even a low-populated colony—to listen was impressive.
“They’re asking me to become a councilor?” Hokusai questioned. “Because they think it was unfair that I was exiled? That’s a bit of a stretch.”
“It’s not because you were exiled, though that does help your popularity factor,” Katica said. “It’s because they know what you did for them decades ago. They know you’re responsible for artificial gravity, and for repairing our habitats before the colony vessels arrived.”
“That wasn’t me; that was my friends, Leona and Eight Point Seven.” The first human to set foot on Varkas Reflex was Leona Matic, when a mysterious quantum force commandeered her ship, and brought her here to fix some problems with the nanofactory.
“Close enough,” Katica contended. “You’re a hero, regardless, and the people want you to lead them.”
“That’s not really my thing.”
“We know,” Gangsta said. “We think it should be, though.”
She sighed. “I don’t even like how you run the government. Don’t get me wrong, to each their own, and I’ll gladly come back to live here, but it’s too informal. I appreciate that you wanna be laid back, but you could be so much more, if you were more motivated.” She repeated her point with an exaggerated accent that a high school math teacher she once had used to get his students interested in algebra, “motivaaation. Motivaaaaation.”
Gangsta smiled. “That’s what we’re counting on. The people aren’t looking for a new councilor. They want you to be Superintendent.”
Hokusai caught half of a chuckle before it escaped her mouth, but couldn’t stop the first half. The Superintendent was essentially the term choosing ones used to describe God. It was more metaphysically complicated than that, which was exactly why the word god was avoided in the first place. In this case, Gangsta was referring to a governmental position for someone who possessed questionable decision-making scope. A superintendent wasn’t responsible for running the state, but for managing the people who were responsible for running the state. They were staff managers, human resource representatives, the occasional conflict mediators. On the surface, they appeared to have the most power of all, since they were in charge of everyone, but they still answered to the people, and they couldn’t just fire and hire other leaders willy nilly. They had to remain reasonable, and accountable. Every colony but Varkas Reflex started out with a superintendent, but most stepped down after two or three full election cycles, because they were useful when starting out, but usually obsolete once the engine got going. Only Earth held onto their superintendent, because theirs was the highest populated world. It was just funny that Varkas was finally deciding to get on board with convention.
“You’ve been in your head for a good long while,” Katica pointed out. “Do you have a response?”
“My initial thought is no,” Hokusai answered.
“That makes sense,” Katica said. “It sounds like you. But you’re the one who hates how they run the government. What better way to fix it than to be the one in charge of coming up with a new one?”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin,” Hokusai admitted. “While I believe what you’re doing now is not sustainable, I know that you don’t want to convert to a full mediatorial tetracameral legislature, and that’s the only one I know, because it’s the most common.” This type of government was composed of four parts. The population representative congress was there to speak for the needs of the civilians. They expressed their grievances to the two delegators, who met with separate advisory boards in order to come to decisions. Much like separate arbitration panels in the adjudicative system, the idea was, if both delegation boards came to the same conclusion, without talking to each other about it, it was probably the right one. The delegators then delegated the implementation of their decision to whichever administrators were in charge of whatever this change impacted.
This was all really complicated by design. Complexity often equaled more exploitable weakness, but also greater overall resilience. Maybe you could bribe one delegator to do what you wanted, but the other? Even if you did that, their irrational behavior would alert the mediator between them, so you would have to convince them to fall in line as well. Even so, the advisors would question why the delegators and mediator weren’t heeding their advice. The administrators would question their orders, and finally, the people would rise up against the injustice. And those people had the power to make swift changes to leadership personnel. It was practically impossible in Hokusai’s time to impeach a president, let alone remove them from office. Here, not so hard. If they wanted someone gone, they were gone. No one was entitled to power, and no one was entitled to maintain that power, once it was granted. These changes were positively unavoidable in modern times. No matter how good a leader was, there was too much risk of their control growing, well...out of control, over time. When accounting for immortality, this control could theoretically last for literal aeons, and that was probably not a good idea.
“You’re in your head again,” Katica warned her.
“Sorry, I was just going over what I would do if I were superintendent, and it always ends in disaster.”
“I don’t believe that,” Gangsta argued. “We’re not asking you to have all the answers today. Nor are the citizens. We just want you to get the process started. We all have immense faith in your ability to be fair, thoughtful, and sensitive to this planet’s unique needs.”
“Of course you may decline,” Katica started to add. “I urge you to give it some thought, though. Remember what happened the last time you made a rash decision, without knowing the consequences.”
Hokusai had never asked Katica to take responsibility for her own involvement in the memory wipe that was accidental from Hokusai’s side, but not from Katica’s. She glared at her now to remind her of this truth telepathically.
“Someone has to take care of us, and I can’t be the one to do it. Nature abhors a vacuum,” Gangsta quipped.
“Why do people always say that?” Hokusai questioned. “Nature loves a vacuum. It’s called entropy, and it’s kind of where everything in the universe is trying to get to.”
“Just think about it,” Katica requested. “In the meantime, you’re expected on the balcony.”
“The balcony?” Hokusai didn’t know what she was talking about. “Who’s on the balcony?”
“No one,” she answered. “You’re the one who’s expected. They’re waiting for your fence speech.”
“What the hell is a fence speech?” Hokusai asked.
“You’re on the fence, right?” Gangsta asked her.
Not really, but Katica was right that she should at least think about it. “You want me to go out there, and tell people I might consider maybe starting to almost kind of theoretically think about one day possibly entertaining the idea of hypothetically accepting a potential offer to perhaps, perchance, try to run for Superintendent?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but yeah, I guess,” Gangsta confirmed. “As I said, they’re expecting you.”
“You shouldn’t have told them I would be here.”
“We didn’t,” Katica said. “Like we’ve been trying to explain, it wasn’t our idea; it was theirs. They have been waiting for you.”
Demanding, even,” Gangsta corrected.
“Yes.”
Hokusai massaged the bridge of her nose. “They’re expecting a...fence speech?”
“Yes,” Katica confirmed. “They are not anticipating that you will announce your intention to run today. If you go out there, and humor them for five minutes, they’ll finally go away, and move on with their lives. They will want you to make a final decision within the week, though, so keep that in mind.”
“Fine. I’ll go talk to them, but I promise nothing.”
“That’s all we ask,” Katica said gratefully.
“If it’s a five-minute speech, I will need ten minutes to write it.”
“That’s okay,” Gangsta said with glee. “I’ll go back out and stall them with another attempt at playing the gravity organ.”
By the time Hokusai finished delivering her fifteen-minute long speech, she had already decided to run. She did so unopposed, and obviously won.