I sit back and relax. No one can find me here, and the completely open window provides an excellent source of circulation so that no one can smell the smoke. I’m gonna need to find somewhere else once they figure out what the hell they want to do with this floor. I think it was really important to someone that they have exactly forty-two stories, but they didn’t have that many departments. My job itself is fine, it’s no big deal, I don’t stress over it. I just hate the people. Some days, I can’t even. They have no idea what it’s like in the real world. These “suits” which is a term I coined, follow each other off the cliff like dumb lemmings. Baa, lemmings, baa. I’m no lemming, I’ll tell ya that much. I’m more like this grasshopper...because it hops, right? Actually, that might be a cockroach. You know what I mean, though. Ya know, but I got it all figured out. This whole company is like a bus. So...people get on the bus. Right? You with me? But then they get off the bus. See? Okay, let me try again. Say you’re eating a burrito. I don’t like burritos, but that’s the first thing I thought of. You’re eating a burrito, and it’s in your mouth, but what happens to it after that? Does anyone know? Or do you lemmings just baa around and accept that you’re supposed to eat the burrito? Has anyone ever asked what if you didn’t eat the burrito? You follow me, right? Because you’re just a figment of my imagination, so I don’t have to say anything out loud, but you’ll still get it. Yeah, you get it. So the thing is that I don’t even know why I agreed to work in this godforsaken lemming factory. Ask my uncle and he’ll tell you he got it for me so that I straighten up and put my college degree that I earned from the other lemming factory to good use. College was the most ridiculous time in my life. You spend two years following other lemmings from classroom to classroom, and what do you get for it? You get an education that the government has decided on. Some rich white old dude in a musty offi
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