Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Microstory 417: Floor 26 (Part 1)

I’m sorry, I can’t help but laugh. There’s some kind of techie nerd on the floor above us who thinks he’s gotten off scot-free. I imagine he believes that he’s covered his tracks, but what he doesn’t realize is that we hired an investigator to look into the leak. Actually, we hired an entire firm to investigate our current legal problems, and help us build a defense for the company. There’s a department within this private firm whose job it is to look at computer data. I’m sure the techie upstairs has a lot of experience plugging in monitors, but he’s no match for the white hat hackers we hired to find him, I’ll tell ya that much. I’ll also tell you another thing. People often ask me how I sleep at night knowing that I’m responsible for protecting the greedy interest of a corporation? I sleep like a dead baby, that’s how. You think I care about saving the planet, or helping people? Hell no. I just want that money, and corporations are the ones with the money. All you have to do is tell them how much work you’ve done for them, and they trust you well enough to pay you for it. The only time I’ve been in a courtroom was when he took a field trip there in middle school. I don’t do research either; that’s for the floor below us. I just use my silver tongue to get them to believe whatever I want them to. Have I ever lied to an opponent? You bet I have. Have I ever encouraged a client to commit perjury? You bet I have. The law isn’t about finding the truth, it’s just about who’s better at manipulating the facts, and there’s no one better than me. I don’t have to know what really happened with the faulty windows. I don’t have to know whose fault it was, or how they could have stopped it. I just need to convince the judicial system to ultimately let it go. Tricking people is my favorite part of the job, and I would almost do it for free...almost.

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